Helping Children and Adolescent Coping with a Disaster or Traumatic Event A Guide for Parents, Teachers and Caregivers

Ko Teik Yen MBA, B.Sc (Hons), PCDHyp, MBSC,

Principal of Academy of Asian Parenting & Hypnotherapy

Founder of Asian Hypnotherapy Centre for Smoking Cessation & Trauma Healing

Web page: www.asianparentingacademy.com; www.asianhypnotherapycentre.com

Email : tyko@asianparentingacademy.com

Possible Reactions to a Disaster or Traumatic Event 01

table of contents

8 tips that parents, teachers and caregivers can provide to support their children in the recovery process

02

When More Help is Needed & A Note of Caution! 03 Who Are We?

References and Online Resources

04

3

Scope of Discussion

1. The psychological impact of intense

coverage of disasters/incidents such as

MH370 on children and adolescent.

2. What can parents, teachers &

caregivers do to restore a sense of safety

and security in this situation of

uncertainties and anxiety?

3. Tips to help children and teenager

coping with the psychological impact in

the aftermath of a traumatic event.

introduction

“Adult support and reassurance is the

key to helping children through a

traumatic time”

POSSIBLE REACTIONS

TO A DISASTER OR

TRAUMATIC EVENT section 01

5

POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT

The devastating effects of disasters can have tremendous

psychological impacts on those directly and indirectly

involved, even for those who learn about the event through

television broadcast, social media, or newspaper

coverage.

Affected individuals may have various stress reactions that

present psychological, as well as physical symptoms.

Section 01

6

POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT

Children are no exception--

understandably many young

children may feel frightened,

confused and overwhelmed.

They may confuse with why

and how bad things could

happen to normal or good

people.

Some children may feel

helpless and guilty because

they cannot take on adult

roles to contribute and

respond to a trauma or

disaster.

Some may even blame

themselves for the event.

Section 01

section 01

7

POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT

Whether children directly experiencing a trauma, watch it

on TV or internet, or overhear others discussing it, they can

feel stress, helpless, confused, or anxious. Some may have

immediate reaction; others may have delay reaction.

This booklet will help parents, teachers and caregivers,

learn some common reactions, respond in an effective

and helpful way, and know when to seek support.

Section 01

section 01

“Some may have

immediate reaction;

others may have

delay reaction”

8

POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT

Many of the reactions

mentioned below are normal

when children and youth are

handling the stress right after

an event. However, if any of

these behaviours persist more

than 2 to 4 weeks, or if they

suddenly appear later on,

these children may need more

help coping.

PRESCHOOL CHILDREN,

0–6 YEARS OLD, very

young children may go

back to thumb sucking or

wetting the bed at night

after a trauma. They may

fear strangers, darkness,

or monsters..

It is fairly common for

preschool children to become

clingier with a parent,

caregiver, or teacher or to

want to stay in a place

where they feel safe. They

may express the trauma

repeatedly in their play or

tell exaggerated stories

about what happened.

Section 01

section 01

9

POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT

Some children’s eating and

sleeping habits may change.

They also may have aches and

pains that cannot be

explained. Other symptoms to

watch for are aggressive or

withdrawn behaviour,

hyperactivity, speech

difficulties, and disobedience.

CHILDREN, 7–10 YEARS OLD,

may fear going to school and

stop spending time with

friends. They may have trouble

paying attention and do poorly

in school overall. Some may

become aggressive for no

clear reason. Or they may act

younger than their age by

asking to be fed or dressed by

their parent or caregiver.

Section 01

section 01

10

POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT

ADOLESCENTS AND

TEENAGERS, 11–18 YEARS

OLD, already going through a

lot of physical and emotional

changes because of their

developmental stage. So, it

may be even harder for them

to deal with trauma. Older

teens may deny or suppress

their reactions to themselves

and their caregivers.

They may respond with a

routine “I’m OK”, “Nothing

happen” and go into isolation

or remain silence when they

are upset. Or, they may

complain about physical

discomfort or pains because

they cannot identify what is

really bothering them

emotionally.

Some may get irritated easily

or having mood swing at home

and/or at school, resisting

and challenging structures or

instructions. They also may

engage in risky behaviours

such as using alcohol or

speeding, driving haphazardly.

Section 01

section 01

11

POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR TRAUMATIC EVENT

HOW PARENTS, CAREGIVERS,

AND TEACHERS CAN SUPPORT

CHILDREN’S RECOVERY

By creating an open

environment where they feel

free to ask questions, we can

help them cope with stressful

events, and reduce the risk of

lasting emotional difficulties.

Although these may be

difficult conversations, it is

crucial for their learning in

dealing with life’s

uncertainties.

The good news is that children

and youth are usually quite

resilient. Most of the time they

get back to feeling ok soon

after a trauma.

With appropriate support from

the adults around them, they

always recover and thrive. The

most important ways to help are

to make sure children feel

connected, understood, and

loved.

“The good news is that children

and youth are usually quite

resilient.”

Section 01

section 01

8 tips that parents,

teachers and

caregivers can provide

to support their

children in the recovery

process.

section 02

13

Tips 1: Be a role model

Be a role model that provide a

sense of calm and reassuring.

Children learn from observing

their parents and teachers.

They will be very curious in

how you respond to events.

They also learn from listening

to your conversations with

other adults.

It’s ok for children and youth

to see adults sad or crying.

However, violence behaviour

such as screaming, hitting or

kicking furniture or walls can

be very scary for children.

Violence behaviour can

further frighten children or

lead to more trauma.

Adults can show children and

youth how to take care of

themselves. If you stay in good

physical and emotional health,

you are more likely to be

readily available to support

the children you care about.

Be a role model for self-care,

set routines, eat healthy

meals, get enough sleep,

exercise, and find ways to

relax yourself.

Section 02

section 02

14

Tips 2: Listen to them first

Parents, teachers, and other

caregivers can help children

express their emotions

through conversation, writing,

drawing, and singing. If

children want to talk about a

trauma, let it be.

Accept their feelings and tell

them it is ok to feel sad,

upset, worries or stressed.

Crying is often a way to relieve

stress and grief. Let them cry

if they wanted to. Pay

attention and be an attentive

listener.

Section 02

section 02

15

Tips 3: Check for their feelings and thoughts

What are they hearing in

school or seeing on TV?

Watch news coverage on TV or

the Internet with them. And,

restrict access so they have

time away from reminders

about the trauma. Don’t let

talking about the trauma

occupy the family or

classroom discussion all the

time.

Allow them to ask questions.

Create an open and

supportive environment where

children know they can ask

questions.

However, it's best not to force

children to talk about things

unless and until they're ready

and willing.

Ask your child or the children

in your care what worries

them and what might help

them cope.

Use words and concepts

children can understand.

Adjust your explanations to

the child's age, language, and

developmental level.

Section 02

section 02

16

Tips 4: Let them express their feelings and emotions appropriately

Remember that children tend

to personalize situations. For

example, they may worry

about their own safety and the

safety of immediate family

members, friends and

neighbours. Some may even

felt that they somehow at fault

and blame themselves for the

unfortunate events.

Acknowledge and validate the

child's thoughts, feelings, and

reactions, even it may sound

inappropriate and avoid

judging. Let them know that

you take their questions and

concerns seriously.

Be prepared to repeat

information and explanations

several times.

Some information may be

hard to accept or understand.

Asking the same question

over and over may also be a

way for a child to ask for

reassurance.

“Be prepared to repeat

information and explanations

several times.”

Section 02

section 02

17

Tips 5: Help children find ways to express themselves

Some children may not want

to talk about their thoughts,

feelings, or fears. They may be

more comfortable drawing

pictures, playing with toys, or

writing stories or poems. All

these expressions allow the

events to be processed in

their memory and integrate

into their learnings.

Allow this to take place at

their own pace.

Offer comfort with gentle

words, a hug when

appropriate, or just being

present with them.

Section 02

section 02

18

Tips 6: Identify the good thing that comes out of the event

Encourage them to do

something within their control.

Adults can help children and

youth see the good that can

come out of a trauma.

Heroic actions, families and

friends who help, and support

from people in the community

are examples.

Children may better cope with a

trauma or disaster by helping

others.

They can write caring letters,

draw a well-wishing card to

those who have been hurt or

have lost their homes/family

members; they can send thank

you notes to people who

helped.

They can even initiate charity

to raise fund, donate toys and

other materials for the victims

or the affected family

members.

Encourage these kinds of

activities. Encourage children

to participate in recreational

activities so they can move

around and play with others.

Section 02

section 02

19

Tips 7: Use this opportunity to educate your children and blame nobody

If human violence or error

caused an event, be careful

not to blame a cultural, racial,

or ethnic group, or persons

with mental disabilities.

This may be a good

opportunity to talk with

children about discrimination

and diversity.

Focus on what we have learnt

from the incident and not

putting the blame on any

parties. Let children know that

they too are not to be blamed

when bad things happen. Give

children honest answers and

information. Children will

usually know, or eventually

find out, if you're "making

things up."

It may affect their ability to trust

you or your reassurances in the

future. Explain to them the

actions that the relevant

authorities have taken to

prevent this from happening

again.

It's a good opportunity to show

children that when something

unfortunate happens, there are

lessons to be learned.

Section 02

section 02

20

Tips 8: Re-establish the routine in life

Spend more time with the

children than usual, at least

for the next few days.

Returning to school activities

and getting back to routines at

home is important too. Let

them know that in time, the

tragedy will pass. Try not to

downplay the danger, instead

talk about our ability to cope

with tragedy and get through

the ordeal.

Excuse traumatized children

from chores for a day or two.

After that, make sure they go

back to normal routine, have

age-appropriate tasks and can

participate in a way that

makes them feel useful again.

Section 02

section 02

21

One thing to avoid in this digital age

Avoid letting children

expose to those

frightening images or

news too often. The

repetition of such scenes

can be disturbing and

confusing.

.

Although parents and

teachers may follow the

news and the daily events

with close scrutiny, many

children just want to be

children. Bring them to the

park and give everyone a

break.

Section 02

section 02

When More Help is

Needed & A Note of

Caution! section 03

23

When More Help Is Needed (1)

In rare occasions, a child and

their family may have trouble

getting past a trauma. Parents

or caregivers may be afraid to

leave a child alone.

Teachers may see that a

student is upset or seems

different. It would be very

helpful for everyone to work

together.

Consider talking with a mental

health professional to help

identify the areas of difficulty.

Together, everyone can decide

how to help and learn from

each other.

If a child has lost a loved one,

consider working with

someone who knows how to

support children who are

grieving.

Consider seeking more help if a

child:

• is preoccupied with

questions or concerns about

any kind of disasters;

• has ongoing sleep

disturbances;

• has intrusive thoughts or

worries; or

• has recurring fears about

death, leaving parents, or going

to school.

Section 03

section 03

24

When More Help Is Needed (2)

If you as parent feel anxious,

angry or depressed, you are

not alone. Talk to friends,

family or colleagues who likely

are experiencing the same

feelings. Seek help if feelings

of anxiety and depression

continue, even after order has

been restored, or if these

feelings begin to overwhelm

you.

“Coping with traumatic event

have to start with you as

parents, teachers or

caregivers first.”

Section 03

section 03

25

A NOTE OF CAUTION!

Be careful not to pressure children to talk about a trauma

or join in expressive activities. While most children will

easily talk about what happened, some may become

frightened.

Some may even get traumatized again by talking about it,

listening to others talk about it, or looking at drawings of

the event. Allow children to remove themselves from these

activities, and monitor them for signs of distress.

Section 03

section 03

Allow children the time

and space to process

this memory at their

own pace and terms!

Who Are We?

References and Online

Resources

section 04

27

Who Are We?

Academy of Asian Parenting &

Hypnotherapy is founded by

Ko Teik Yen with the mission

to EMPOWER modern Asian

parents in the 21st Century by

supporting, training and

coaching Asian parents. We

strive to provide the latest

insight into human social,

emotional and cognitive

development

using scientifically proven

and parents tested

strategies and skills to

allow their children and

parents themselves to

flourish and fulfil their true

potential.

.

Section 04

section 04

28

Who Are We?

TY Ko is a graduate of National University of Malaysia with a degree in life

science and a Master degree from University of South Australia, as well as a

graduate of London College of Clinical Hypnosis with International Advance

Diploma in Clinical Hypnosis. Currently, he is a member of the British Society

of Clinical Hypnosis as well as an affiliate member of Academy of Family

Physicians Malaysia. He lectures regularly in Singapore and Malaysia for

London College of Clinical Hypnosis as well as conducts workshops and

seminars on parenting skills.

He is the author of the upcoming book entitled: "Parenting 2.0 - Empowering

Moms and Dads with Scientifically Proven Insights, Strategies and Skills to

Raise Respectful, Responsible, Resilience and Resourceful Children".

Section 04

section 04

29

References and Online resources

American Academy of Pediatrics

www.aap.org

Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress

www.cstsonline.org

National Child Traumatic Stress Network

www.ncstn.org

National Commission on Children and

Disasters. (2010). National Commission

on Children and Disasters: 2010 report to

the President and Congress. AHRQ

Publication No. 10-MO37. Rockville, MD:

Agency for Healthcare Research and

Quality. From

http://archive.ahrq.gov/prep/nccdreport/

nccdreport.pdf (accessed March 13,

2014).

Section 04

contact information

For more info, please contact

us at

info@asianparentingacademy.com

Or

info@asianhypnotherapycentre.com

+6012-392 5057

thank you