How to Forgive Someone You Hate and Move On: Must Know.

We have all come to a point where someone has wronged us and we feel like we do not want to forgive them. Or we cannot even bear the thought of talking to them. Most of the time you feel hatred towards that person.

Without knowing you will find that you are doing more harm to your life than to that person. This is why you need to learn how to forgive others

Forgiving someone is not something that you do for others. It is something that you do for yourself. Also by forgiving you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it.

Choosing not forgive causes us to be unhappy and there will be regrets after regrets. It can distract us from work, school causing us to underperform. Ruin relationships, and also miss out on the best things in life.

So How Do you forgive and let go?

Below are the steps that will help you and get you back on track.

Steps on Learning How to forgive.1. Accept what happened – Think about the incident, what

actually happened. Then accept that it happened. You need to acknowledge it so that you can be able to forgive. The best way you can do this is to talk to someone you can trust, someone who will not judge you and this will later make you feel better.

2. Empathize – That person has wronged you and because he/she has not apologized you feel like that person has no remorse. Everyone feels guilty, even though you have not gotten any apology you need to empathize and look from his/her side of view. Ask yourself questions like what could he/she be thinking, what was the situation at that time, what did he/she feel like after doing that? This will open your mind and be the bigger person and forgive.

3. Letting go – As I mentioned above not forgiving will only lead to unhappiness and missing out on the beauty of life as it happens. Commit that you are going to let go. It may not happen today tomorrow or this month. Depending on how long it will take, let it go. You will have few regrets and in the future you will be glad you did it.

4. Do something you love – Sometime forgiveness can be hard depending on what that person did. You can find yourself thinking about that situation from time to time. The best way to stop thinking about that person and the situation you need to do something that you are passionate about. To keep your mind busy and remind yourself how much you love and appreciate yourself.

5. Feel compassion for the person -  Finally after learning how to forgive. Feel compassion for that person, because even though that person did not apologize. You have chosen to forgive him/her because you have realized that you are allowing yourself to be happy and move on. Wish happiness for them and be empathetic.

WHAT FORGIVENESS MEANS.Now that you have learnt how to forgive, what does forgiveness really mean?

Forgiveness does not mean;

That you forget what happened or you delete the past. Or that person will later change his/her behavior because you have chosen to forgive him/her.

That you need to tell that person that he/she is forgiven. You forget the incident ever happened.

You have to include that person in your life. You are doing it for the other person.

Forgiveness simply means that you are not thinking about it, you are letting go and moving on to a better place in your life.

WHY PEOPLE FIND IT HARD TO FORGIVE.If forgiveness is something you do for yourself then why is it so hard?

Depending on the situation there are several reasons that I have listed below.

You do not know how to resolve the situation. You feel like that person does not feel any guilt for what

he/she did. You feel if you forgive that person that you will re-connect

and he or she can do it again. You are addicted to the adrenaline that anger gives you. You see that person almost every day. You have thoughts of revenge.

This are some of the reasons that people find it hard to forgive. Even though forgiveness can take long remember that you are doing it for yourself so that you can move on.

QUOTES TO HELP YOU IN FORGIVENESS.Do not keep thinking of the past or the bad thing that happened; when you let go of it, you get over the anger/bitterness that you felt and it clears the path of forgiveness! The best thing is time! –Ashna Singh

Remind yourself of how much forgiveness would mean to you if it was your turn for a mistake! –Carol Mcbride-Safford

Because it takes less energy to love and forgive than it does to stay angry and hold a grudge.It brings peace to your life. –Linda Adams

I know that I need to forgive someone, not for their benefit, but for my own peace of mind. Don’t do it for them, do it for you! –Cathryn Kent

Read the next post on How To Find The Right Friend.