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Peter Freeth

Peter Freeth is a leading business coach and author. He has beenlearning about and developing NLP applications in business for around 10 years.

www.ciauk.com

peter@ciauk.com

0870 1620802

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Menu

• Neuro-Linguistic Programming• Applications• State• Outcomes• Rapport• Language• Communication• Party tricks

Why a menu? Because an agenda is such a rigid thing. It has connotations of “this is what I’m going to tell you” and NLP is about exploring, not about imparting information.

Depending on what happens in the workshop, we might talk about a few subjects that aren’t on the menu. That’s what makes it interesting!

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Just to warm you up

Red Black Green BlueGreen Yellow Green

Orange Purple Red BlueOrange Green Purple

Yellow Red Black Gold

Processing colour recognition and processing language take place in different parts of your brain, so reading out the colours rather than the words is a great way to loosen up your brain, ready for some real creativity.

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Modelling excellence

• Back in the 1970s• Was there a pattern?• Could other people get the same results?

Back in the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder wanted to find out how a group of therapists were able to achieve long lasting results, very quickly in clients that traditional therapists had declared ‘incurable’ or ‘resistant’.

They wanted to find out if there was a pattern to their use of language, so that they could use it to get the same results.

It turned out that there was a pattern, and it could be replicated by other people. It turned out that we organise our experience inside our mind according to a structure. The structure is different for every person, yet by applying some simple tools, anyone can gain insight into that structure and help the person or client to change their experience.

You can read about the original work in books such as “Structure of Magic” although they’re not really beginner’s books!

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A toolkit for change

• Therapists help people to change• Model the communication of therapists• Create a linguistic change model

• Refine it• Teach it• Change it

When Bandler and Grinder first devised a way of modelling excellence in communication and behaviour, they happened to work with therapists, so the communication models that you read about in NLP books are based on helping people to change.

Of course, you could use the same basic modelling toolkit to model any skill, not just change skills.

NLP has been used to model the performance mindset of professional sports players, sales people, leaders, coaches and all kinds of professionals with outstanding talents.

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Applications

• Leadership development• Executive coaching• Consultancy• Culture change• Sales• Sport

• Mind reading tricks!

Consequently, NLP can be applied in any area where the difference between average performance and excellence is down to the person’s mindset rather than physical condition or technical knowledge.

Of course, that also means that NLP can be used to help people get into better physical condition and acquire technical knowledge more easily.

Popular mentalists such as Derren Brown use a lot of NLP in their performances, along with hypnosis and good old fashioned magic.

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Feedback form

To save time at the end, we’ll do the feedback form now.

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State

• Who is in control of your state?

• How do you control your state now?

• How do other people control it?

• Would you like more control over it?

Your physical and mental condition, or state, underpins everything you do because your state creates an internal environment for your thoughts.

Your state changes the way you perceive sensory information too, so depending on your state, you interpret the world and interact with the world differently.

Therefore, it’s vitally important to be in control of your own state and manage it effectively.

Fortunately, there are lots of easy ways to manage your state.

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State

• How does the voice in your head affect you?

• It’s your voice• It can say anything you want!• It’s an important resource

One really simple and often overlooked influence over your state is the voice inside your head, or your internal dialogue.

What people say to themselves has a huge influence on their state, focus of attention, ability to stay motivated and therefore the results they get.

People who habitually criticise themselves are often less resourceful, less optimistic and less successful than people who offer themselves honest feedback and encouragement.

Since your internal dialogue is your voice, it can say anything you want it to. If you criticise yourself, the easiest thing to change first is the tone of voice you use – change it from a harsh tone to something more soothing. Even make it the voice of someone who makes you laugh.

We all have a voice, and it’s an important internal feedback mechanism, just like your feeling of intuition. You can learn to use both more effectively and they will help you to get better results.

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Outcomes

• People who get what they want tend to:! Know what they want! Have a very flexible approach! Believe in themselves

People who are successful – who naturally and easily get what they want – think about their goals in a certain, consistent way.

They have a very clear and specific sensory representation of their goal, so they know exactly what it looks, sounds and feels like.

They have a very clear, fixed end goal, yet they are completely flexible in how they achieve it. Therefore, they can never be stopped or thrown off course and they easily get past obstacles that stop other people who have a fixed approach.

Finally, they have a very high degree of confidence in their ability to succeed, eventually, They also believe that the outcome is entirely under their control, so they will do whatever they need to do to bring the outcome under their control or change the outcome so that it becomes achievable.

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Well Formed Outcomes

• Do this every day!

• What do you want?• What does it look, sound, feel like?• Is it entirely under your control?• If I offered it to you now, would you take it?

The Well Formed Outcomes tool is one of the most important in NLP, and one of the most useful for you in your everyday life.

For an outcome to be well formed, it must satisfy 4 criteria:

It must be stated positivelyYou must have a direct, sensory representation of itIt must be under your controlIt must be entirely good for you

If something you want satisfies those criteria, there is a very high chance that you will get it.

Another outcome of this process is that you program your perceptual filters to notice opportunities. All around you, every day, there are opportunities for you to realise your goals, you just don’t notice them. Using this process widens your sensory awareness so that you begin to notice new ways to get what you want, so you seem to get it more easily and quickly.

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Tell them what you want

• What I want is…• And what I need from you is…• How do you feel about that?

Tell people what you want!

Don’t drop hints, or say what you would like, or it would be nice if…

Just tell people what you want!!

You’ll be amazed that people are generally happy to help you, as long as what you want doesn’t disadvantage them.

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Rapport

• Rapport is a communication channel

• Being aware of rapport can ease relationships

• People still recognise sincerity!

Rapport does not mean that you artificially mirror someone else’s body posture in order to influence them – although some people will try to do that.

Rapport is an ongoing state, that can range from seeing eye to eye with someone to an experience like being in a bubble with someone where the outside world is totally disconnected.

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Getting to know each other

• Your favourite colour• Your ideal pet• Breathing underwater• White room

Think of your favourite colour. Write down three different words that

It’s just a fun personality profiler – or is it?

Did you notice any truth or significance in your answers?

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Language

• Language is at the heart of how we code our everyday experience! Making memories! Understanding! Sharing ideas! Influencing

Language is central to NLP – it’s the L! (Well, Linguistic anyway)

Our internal experience – our memories, beliefs, opinions, feelings and so on are coded and connected with our language.

Our language and behaviour are so closely connected that they’re really aspects of the same thought processes. Therefore, changing one changes the other.

It’s easy to think that if you say you’ll achieve something in your life that it’s just words. Changing the words you use changes your beliefs, which change your actions, which change your life.

Once you’ve decided what you want, there are two vitally important things you can do – firstly, write your goal down and secondly, tell everyone you know about it. You will surprise yourself!

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Stop and go words

• Something that you do really easily

• Something that you put off

Want, love, need, will, can, must

Should, ought, might, must, have to

Swap them round!

Listen to other people’s

These words are called modal operators and they attach to verbs, giving information about your intention or motivation.

Some people find that ‘must’ really motivates them, whilst others find it stops them.

In general, if you hear modal operators like should and ought, it’s unlikely the person will do what you ask! If someone says “I should get that done today” then we often consciously listen to “get that done today” because it’s the bit we want to hear! By paying more attention to “I should” you can fine tune the request so that it gets done.

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Enjoying memories

• Talk about something you like• Concentrate on the important bits• Make the picture bigger and brighter• Make the sounds louder• Make the sensations stronger• Give it a word or colour

This process is called anchoring and it’s a natural part of the way we form long term memories.

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Making changes

• Talk about something you’re unhappy with• Make the picture smaller, further away• Make the sounds quieter, more distant• Move it behind you• Let the feeling fade away

• Different?

In NLP these aspects or qualities of memories are called sub-modalities. Modalities is another word for senses, and the sub- bit just means an aspect or component of.

When you send your photos off to the developing lab, you have to say what size you want them, gloss or matt and so on. Your internal pictures have the same qualities too.

Picture something you love. Now, picture something you hate. Are the pictures in different places? Are they different intensities?

You can change these qualities to change the emotional attachment of a memory. If you’ve had a bad morning, just freeze the picture, step out of it and let it drift into the distance, becoming dimmer and fuzzier. Now you can focus on having a great afternoon!

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Communication

• Questions and stories

• Why ask questions?

• Why tell stories?

Usually, we ask questions to get answers. In NLP, we also ask questions to change someone’s state or focus of attention.

Stories bypass the listener’s critical filters and go straight into your mind. They’re neither true nor false, so all you can do is listen. In order to make sense of the story, you identify with the character in it at an unconscious level.

Stories are an immensely powerful change tool that you can use every day. I knew someone once who was sitting, reading the notes from a presentation. As they read more and more, they realised that what they were reading was immensely useful and practical and they wanted to go out and try out some of the techniques and ideas right away. You’ll be amazed at the wonderful results they started getting in their life right away, and now they’re exactly the kind of person they always aspired to be.

See what I mean?

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Windows to the soul

• What colour is your favourite item of clothing?• What’s the first noise you hear in the morning?• How does guilt feel?• How does your bed feel in the morning?• When did you last have your favourite drink?• Is your hot tap on the right or the left?• What sound does your front door make?• Who shot JR?• What makes you feel really good?

You already know that people move their eyes when they think, because you can see them do it. You may not have realised that there is a pattern, and that pattern is very useful information.

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What use is that?

• Eye accessing cues reveal patterns• Patterns are the basis of behaviour• Changing patterns = changing behaviour

• Sport• Spelling• Give up smoking

By noticing the sequence of mental steps that make up a complex behavioural process, you can change that process.

You can improve your performance in sport, when sometimes you are really good and sometimes not. Your ability to perform well but inconsistently says that you have the skills but not a process. If you performed consistently badly then you have a good process but need to develop your skills. NLP is best suited to the first case.

NLP is used in some forward thinking schools to teach children a visual spelling strategy. People who spell badly often do so phonetically – they recall the word by sounding it out. That is OK for most words, but English is not a phonetic language. A visual strategy is far more efficient, and can be used to remember telephone numbers and people’s names too.

Knowing when to smoke or eat is a strategy that can be modelled and then changed. You may have seen a lot of hype in the press recently with people claiming that hypnosis can help you to lose weight. This is rubbish. Eating sensibly and exercising can help you lose weight. Hypnosis can help you to find the motivation you need but it’s a long winded way to achieve something very simple. If you’d like help with something like this then the first step would take only a few minutes by telephone, so give me a call!

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Communication channels

You might have seen this idea before; that communication is 55% visual non verbal, 38% auditory non verbal and only 7% verbal. You may or may not agree with the figures, so what this really illustrates is that words are only one part of overall communication.

Take even the most technical presentation – surely that’s all about content, right? Well, how do you know to believe the information? To trust the presenter? To like the presenter? To understand humour or irony? That’s all contained within the 93%

It turns out that these figures also correlate very closely with what we notice. Most presenters spend a lot of time worrying about what they’re going to say instead of how they want the audience to respond.

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Party tricks

• Resetting expectations• Changing minds• Curing headaches• Getting people to do things for you

It wouldn’t be a very interesting workshop without a few tricks that you can use right away.

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Swish

When you read about the Swish in a NLP book or see it on a training course, it looks like one of the most peculiar and least usable techniques. In fact, once you realise how it works, it’s one of the most useful and widely applicable.

The swish can change people’s minds in an instant. It can get people to remember or forget and it can help people to change experiences that they want to change.

Rather than describe the swish, I’ll just tell you to visit www.nlpinbusiness.com to see some interactive demonstrations of the swish pattern.

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The amazing headache cure

• What colour is the headache?• What sound does it make?• Can you change the colour?

! Make it softer, warmer• Can you change the sound?

! Make it softer, more soothing• What happens to the feeling?

Every experience that’s in your head – everything from a memory of your last holiday, through your favourite song down to a word or a feeling, actually exists in your mind in all of your senses.

It turns out that an experience or memory is represented as a complete package of sensory information. If you change one part of that package, you change the meaning of the experience.

For example, picture a friend’s birthday party with happy sounds and people laughing. Is the temperature hot or cold? Change it to the opposite temperature. Is the memory the same?

Even a ‘real time’ experience like a headache works this way too. Your brain has to process vast amounts of information from sensors all over your body before it lets you know you have a headache. Whilst you may never have noticed this before, a headache has a colour, a sound, a smell and a taste. If you change one of those elements – or all of them – it’s still a sensation, it’s just not a headache anymore.

Imagine you take your front door key and file off one of the bumps. It’s still a key, it’s just not your key any more. Same idea.

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A typical day in the office

• Can you do this report for me?

• Are you going to finish this today?

• Do you think you could call me back?

• Are you to busy to do this?

• How can you do this report for me now?

• When are you going to finish this today?

• Call me back right away

• Do this!

If you speak with uncertainty, things will turn out in your favour randomly.

When you speak with certainty, things are more likely to turn out in your favour.

You can see that the questions in blue are uncertain i.e. they leave the decision up to the other person.

Look at the questions in green – they’re not really questions. The presuppose a certain answer and direct the person’s attention to a different question. In the first one, I’m no longer asking if you can do the report, that’s a given. Asking you how you can do the report only makes sense if you have already agreed to do it. This is often enough to tip the balance in your favour.

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The secret

• The secret of getting people to do what you want is…

• Tell them what you want

So now it’s not a secret any more.

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So, NLP is…

• A change toolkit• Principles to help you achieve more in life• A load of rubbish• A toolkit for modelling excellence• Life changing• A cult• A structure to help you make the most of the

skills you have, get the results you want and create the life and career you deserve

What’s important is that you now have enough information to make up your own mind. If not – call me!

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Learning more

• www.ciauk.com• www.nlpinbusiness.com• www.changemagic.com• www.ppimk.com

• My books!

You can see my full recommended reading list at www.ciauk.com – just go into the books area and you’ll see the link.

NLP in Business has a number of useful resources and interactive tools that you can use to understand more about NLP and its business applications.

Change Magic has a unique problem solving tool called The Unsticker. If you have a problem – any kind of problem – just visit Change Magic and use The Unsticker. I guarantee it will help you to solve your problem if you use it properly!

PPI Business NLP are a business focussed NLP training provider who I co-train with regularly, because I believe they offer the best NLP training for professional people available today.