Peter nlp-foundation

Warwickshire College Communications In Action

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NLP Foundation What is NLP? It’s a mindset, an attitude that has created a wide range of techniques that are used in business, coaching, personal change and therapy to solve problems, create changes and help people like you to tap into the vast unconscious resources that lie within you. NLP training is designed to generate maximum choice, flexibility and effectiveness. You can always limit your skills to fit into your own environment, but you would find it harder to expand your skills out of any limitations imposed on you through the course. By bearing this in mind throughout the course you will get the most from it and be most effective as a result of it. NLP is not something that you learn about – it’s something that you learn by playing with the exercises and noticing what happens for you. Some of the exercises will have a huge impact on you, whilst others will seem to have no effect at all. There is no right way to try the exercises, and there is no right answer. What is more important than anything else is that you pay close attention to what happens – whatever happens – and that you are able to learn something from that experience. NLP is concerned only with what works. The only way you will find out what works for you is to do something and then notice what happens. Just getting into this simple habit will put you way ahead of most of the population. Many people will say “I don’t think that would work” instead of trying it. Many more people go through life not noticing what works for them and what doesn’t. By practicing these skills so that they become habits, you will get better results than most other people. NLP isn’t something that you learn how to do, it’s more a process of refining what you already do so that you get better, more consistent results. By enjoying the learning process, you will find yourself achieving more ambitious goals more easily and getting more out of life. If you are interested in becoming a licensed NLP Practitioner, there are two more modules to complete which are run in Milton Keynes. For more information on these, visit www.ciauk.com Above all else, use the course to really stretch your abilities, have fun and try all the things you always wished you could! These notes are available to download at www.ciauk.com/warwickshire

NLP Foundation Page 2

What is NLP? Everyone has a view on what NLP actually is. You probably have your own already. As a starting point, we should probably look no further than to the co-creator of NLP, Richard Bandler: "NLP is an attitude and a methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques" I've seen a number of variations on this quote, so if you've seen a different version, don't worry! Whatever your think about Richard Bandler and John Grinder, there's no denying that they created the body of research and knowledge that we call Neuro Linguistic Programming. What Bandler and Grinder did in creating NLP was pull together a large volume of existing knowledge - together with the intuitive knowledge that's in your head already. So, is NLP 'new'? Did Bandler and Grinder 'create' it, or was it there all along, waiting to be observed and catalogued? Before Newton 'discovered' gravity, did people float off into space? Of course not. People took gravity for granted and thereby failed to exploit its potential. What Newton did was give us a new way of using our knowledge of gravity. We can use that knowledge to put communications satellites into orbit around the Earth. What could you use knowledge of your own communication for? You already know how to communicate, how to set goals and how to manage your emotional state. What you may not do is all of these together, when you want to get the results you need. You may find that there are times when you communicate brilliantly and there are times when you don't. NLP is not about teaching you how to communicate - it's about giving you a set of tools to manage yourself so that you can be more consistently effective. Many people associate NLP with personal change, and certainly the people who were originally modelled by Bandler and Grinder were well known in that field. As a result, many of NLP's tools and techniques are skills originally modelled from people like Milton Erickson and Virginia Satir. NLP in itself is not the tools; it’s the modelling toolkit that enables you to understand and replicate the consistently high performance of an intuitive skill. You can take the NLP tools as they are and use them successfully. You can learn the principles and attitudes that underpin the tools and use them to create new ones. Finally, by understanding the modelling framework and mindset, you can learn any new skill from anyone and teach it to anyone else. Where you take NLP beyond that is up to you…


Scope and ethics Our NLP Practitioner course has been designed and developed for professional people, focussing on business applications and tools that will help you both professionally and personally. Of course, business and personal issues are woven together and are all part of you, so we work with anything and everything that delegates may raise during the course. The course trainers and assistants are always available to help you with any specific or personal issues that you want to discuss and will always do whatever they can to be of assistance. Psychological or psychiatric problems are extremely rare on our NLP courses, due to the way we position and run them, however should you be aware of any problems of this nature, we would always advise you to consult the relevant medical expert prior to the course. The nature of NLP training means that we do cover subjects such phobia cures and other therapeutic techniques, and we always do this in a way that helps you to gain maximum benefit from these tools. This means that we help you to apply the tools in as wide a context as possible so that you're not restricted to one set of outcomes. Whilst we do tend to cover personal issues during the individual practice sessions, we would encourage you to only share and discuss subjects that you are comfortable dealing with within the training context. Remember that your partners during the exercises are learning too and they may not have the experience to deal with certain issues that may come up. Out of hundreds of people trained so far, we've only seen a couple of people in tears during an exercise. It's worth remembering that this can happen as a result of exploring certain subjects using certain techniques and if it does, the first thing to do is…nothing. Many people, when faced with this situation worry about what to do and our advice is just to relax, offer support (NOT sympathy!) and to maintain a positive state yourself so that your partner has a positive direction to move in. Just accept whatever happens as part of the process and you'll be fine. An important consideration in NLP training is ethics. Everyone's are different so it's important that we respect the ethical needs and beliefs of each person on the course. As a general rule, everything that happens during the training course is treated in confidence, and no delegate at any time will be expected to do anything that they do not agree or feel comfortable with. If there's an exercise that you don't want to join in with - for whatever reason - just let us know. You can be certain that we will be supportive of whatever choices you make during the course concerning your own personal comfort and safety. At some point during each course, we tend to have a debate over the ethics of NLP. We welcome and encourage this because it helps you to decide where your own ethical boundaries are and that will help you to decide how you can use NLP best in your own environment.


Further information If you want to find out more about NLP, here are some suggested resources. You can also see a recommended reading list and more links at www.ciauk.com Recommended reading: NLP in 21 days Beryl Heather and Harry Adler NLP - Skills for Learning Peter Freeth Words that change minds Shelle-Rose Charvet Structure of Magic 1 & 2 Richard Bandler & John Grinder Six Questions Peter Freeth The NLP Workbook Joseph O'Connor Recommended viewing: Richard Bandler Any NLP, DHE or NHR videos Derren Brown When he's on TV! (or get his new DVD/video) Recommended listening: Richard Bandler CDs Available from www.nlp-cds.co.uk Recommended visiting: www.ppimk.com PPI Business NLP www.ppi-nlp-store.com The PPI store - books, CDs www.nlp-cds.co.uk The largest selection of Richard Bandler CDs www.changemagic.com NLP applied to organisational change www.ciauk.com NLP applied in coaching and training www.nlpinbusiness.com Resources and information on business applications of NLP www.nlpinfo.com NLP information centre www.nlpworld.com A large international NLP resource site


Exercises

What is NLP? .................................................................................................................................... 2 Scope and ethics .............................................................................................................................. 3 Further information............................................................................................................................ 4 Exercises .......................................................................................................................................... 5 State.................................................................................................................................................. 6

Accessing states ........................................................................................................................... 6 Walking state ................................................................................................................................ 6 Submodalities ............................................................................................................................... 6 State elicitation and anchor........................................................................................................... 6

Outcomes.......................................................................................................................................... 7 Feedback ...................................................................................................................................... 7 Well formed outcomes .................................................................................................................. 8 Outcomes - quick version.............................................................................................................. 8 Swish ............................................................................................................................................ 9

Rapport ........................................................................................................................................... 10 What is rapport?.......................................................................................................................... 10 Rapport Movement ..................................................................................................................... 10 'Sit down' matching ..................................................................................................................... 10 Mismatching................................................................................................................................ 10 Voice matching ........................................................................................................................... 10 Tell me what you want ................................................................................................................ 10 Mind reading ............................................................................................................................... 11 Congruence ................................................................................................................................ 11 Perceptual positions.................................................................................................................... 12 NLP Presuppositions .................................................................................................................. 12

Language ........................................................................................................................................ 13 Presuppositions .......................................................................................................................... 13 Meta Model ................................................................................................................................. 14 Why?........................................................................................................................................... 14 Useful questions ......................................................................................................................... 14 State story................................................................................................................................... 15 Milton Model................................................................................................................................ 15 Presenting vaguely ..................................................................................................................... 16 Storytelling .................................................................................................................................. 16 Logical levels .............................................................................................................................. 16 Logical Level – problem solving.................................................................................................. 16 Modelling..................................................................................................................................... 16 Metaprograms............................................................................................................................. 17 Recruitment exercise .................................................................................................................. 21 Metaprogram presentation.......................................................................................................... 21

Trance............................................................................................................................................. 22 Trance suggestions..................................................................................................................... 22 Utilisation exercise ...................................................................................................................... 22 Elman Induction .......................................................................................................................... 22

Timelines......................................................................................................................................... 24 Kinaesthetic timeline ................................................................................................................... 24 Setting priorities .......................................................................................................................... 24 Super goals................................................................................................................................. 24

Integration ....................................................................................................................................... 25 Problem sorting........................................................................................................................... 25 Problem shifting .......................................................................................................................... 25 Cold reading................................................................................................................................ 25


State Accessing states What do you do to feel good? What would be some useful learning states for you to have in a workshop such as this one? e.g. pressured, stressed, relaxed, comfortable, focussed, absorbed, attentive, curious…..? Walking state Coach your partner to find three beliefs or states that will be useful for them to explore in relation to a problem. Have your partner come up with a single word that describes each belief - usually a state adjective such as proud, intelligent or empathic. As you walk together, coach your partner to find the pace, breathing, posture and full physiology of the first belief. Having fully settled into the first belief, have them now adopt the second one. Continue with the third until they have fully integrated the physiology of all three beliefs. Submodalities Elicit the submodalities of a target state, then have your partner help you to try on those submodalities. How does that state feel to you? What name would you give it? Visual Motion/still Colour/black and white Bright/dim Focused/unfocused Associated/dissociated One image/many images

Auditory One point/all around Loud/soft Fast/slow High/low pitch Clear/muffled

Kinaesthetic Location in body Breathing rate Temperature Weight Intensity Movement

State elicitation and anchor Ask your partner where they would be happy having an anchor applied - to their arm, hand, shoulder? Ask your partner what state he/she would like to elicit. Imagine being in that state yourself to lead your partner in. Ask your partner to remember a time when he/she was in such a state, or asks them to make up a time when he/she was in such a state. Elicit the submodalities of the experience, as in the last exercise. Ask your partner to just double what he/she sees, hears and feels and when they go strongly into state, apply the anchor. Break state, then have your partner imagine experiencing the state strongly as you apply the anchor once more. Break state, then test the anchor.


Outcomes Feedback What do you want to get from this workshop?

What do you see yourself doing differently as a result of this workshop?

What will you tell your friends you enjoyed most about the workshop?

What do you want to learn from this workshop?

How will you know when you've learned it?

What will having learned that do for you?

When will be your first opportunity to practice what you've learned?

What difference will other people notice in you?


Well formed outcomes In pairs Help your partner to come with a goal. It might be something short term or something long term and aspirational. You may want to write the goal down, if you do so make sure you write it down precisely as they say it - don't be tempted to paraphrase or restate it. Always use other people's words, especially when their dreams are involved! Ask your partner the following questions and notice how they respond. Notice also any changes in processing or physiology that take place. You don't need to worry about the answers that they come up with, pay more attention to them. Positive: Is that something you want, as opposed to want to avoid? Specific: When, where, with whom do you want it? Evidence – Sensory based: How do you know when you’ve got it? What will you see, hear, feel, taste and smell? Preserve the positive intention: (Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water) What will happen if you get this result? What won’t happen if you get it? What will happen if you don’t get this result? What won’t happen if you don’t get it? Initiated and maintained by the individual: What is the first step that you will take? What resources do you have? Ecology check: Offer your hand, palm up, to your partner and offer them their goal, right now, in the palm of your hand. If you were offered this right now, would you take it? Outcomes - quick version Imagine having what you want. Does it feel right? If there is any doubt or hesitation, go back and redefine your goal.


Swish In pairs This can be used to change almost anything e.g. stopping smoking, changing state etc. There are different versions for different representational systems Identify context: Ask the client what he/she wants to change? Identify first cue picture: Identify what you see just before the behaviour that you want to change. See it through your own eyes (associated). Create outcome picture: Now create a picture after the desired change. See it through someone else’s eyes (dissociated). Play with the submodalities. Make the picture more exciting. Swish: See the first cue picture clear and bright Put a small dark image of the outcome picture in the bottom right hand corner Fast – Grow the outcome picture to replace the cue picture as the cue picture shrinks way over the horizon Repeat three times. Test: If you think of the first picture it should immediately change Does it work in practice? Play with the submodalities.


Rapport What is rapport? Watch the 2 people up front Do you think they are in rapport? How do you know? Discuss and report back to the group. Rapport Movement

A

B C

In threes, standing in a triangle. B and C move their "outside" hand. A matches the movement of both B and C’s outside hand with his right and left hand. B and C move just fast enough to keep A on his/her toes but not too fast!

'Sit down' matching Your partner sits in a comfortable posture. You walk in from behind or to one side of them, taking a moment to notice how they are sitting. When you sit, relax into a close match to their posture. Did it feel OK? Mismatching Loosely match each other's posture - there's no need to be too precise. Start a conversation about anything - the weather, sport, your jobs etc. When you sense that the conversation is "in flow", break rapport by mismatching. Change the direction or posture of your arms and legs and most importantly, break eye contact. You can do this gently, by looking at your partner's shoulder, or more obviously by looking away completely. Notice how your responses change, then match again to restore that good feeling! Voice matching Your partner speaks a short phrase which you repeat back, paying more attention to the volume, pace, pitch, rhythm etc. than to the words. Your partner coaches you to make the matching more accurate and you continue until it's as perfect as you can make it. Tell me what you want All too often, we are nervous of telling other people exactly what we want. Take your well formed outcome and think of one thing the audience can do to help you get it, then address the audience using this structure: “What I want is [your outcome] and what I want from you is [what the audience can do to help you]. How do you feel about that?”


Mind reading In threes B adopts a specific state and recalls a specific time when they have experienced that state strongly. B continues to run through that experience, building the state so that they can easily maintain it. C matches B as closely as possible. A

B C

A coaches C to match B even more precisely, guiding C to match B's physiology as exactly as they can, including: Eye movement Breathing location, depth and speed Finger location Foot and toe movement Skin colour (indicating temperature) Pupil dilation (indicating focus or size of image) Centre of balance - toes, heels, centred, to one side etc. A now asks C to describe their state - how they feel and what they're experiencing B comments on how close that is to their own state and experience Congruence Ask your partner 10 questions to which you both know the answer, e.g. what colour is the sky today? Your partner will reply truthfully. Watch out for anything that they do consistently, such as move their eyes a certain way. Next, ask your partner 10 questions to which you both know the answer, e.g. what country are we in? Your partner will reply untruthfully. Watch out for anything that they do consistently, such as move their eyes a certain way. When you think you have picked up their subtle, unconscious patterns, ask them another 10 questions to which you do not know the answer, such as "what car do you drive?" Using your knowledge of their response patterns, tell them if the answer is true or false. Don't think about it, just say what feels right, the first thing that comes into your head.


Perceptual positions Ask your partner for an experience that they would like to have a different perspective on, learn more about, think differently about or just feel better about. This works well with experiences of personal interactions such as presentations or conversations. Ask your partner to recall that memory and run through it, recalling every detail as if it were happening right now. Help your partner to fully associate and run the whole sequence through from start to finish. This is 1st position. Now ask your partner to walk over to where the other person was, and step into their position. In this 2nd position, your partner watches the whole sequence again, watching and hearing themselves as if they are the other person. Ask your partner for any new information or insight they have in this position. Ask your partner how they feel watching and listening to themselves. Now have your partner walk over to a 3rd position on the other side of the room. If they have difficulty dissociating from the emotional content of the memory, you can ask them to imagine stepping outside of the room and watching through a window, as a casual onlooker. Ask them to watch the whole sequence again, paying attention to the interaction between positions 1 and 2. Ask them for any new information or insight they have in this position. Ask how they feel watching and listening to the interaction between the two people in the room, and to note how the other person seems to be responding. Now have your partner move back to the 1st position, in their own shoes, and run through the whole scene again, integrating everything that they learned in the other two positions. Ask your partner how they feel differently about the situation or the people, and what they have learned. NLP Presuppositions When Richard Bandler and John Grinder modelled the people who were exceptional in helping others to change, they found that they had certain beliefs in common. These beliefs are known as the presuppositions of NLP and are simply useful beliefs for change.

• The ability to change the process by which we experience reality is more often valuable than changing the content of our experience of reality.

• The meaning of the communication is the response you get.

• The resources an individual needs in order to effect a change are already within them.

• The map is not the territory.

• The positive worth of the individual is held constant, while the value and appropriateness of

their behaviour is questioned.

• There is a positive intention motivating every behaviour, and a context in which every behaviour has value.

• There is no failure, only feedback.

It’s often useful to try on these beliefs as you think about a problem or situation you would like to feel differently about.


Language Presuppositions You've heard of "loaded questions" or "leading questions". What you may not realise is that all of your questions are leading questions, because of the way your brain processes language. Verbal language conveys only a small part of communication, the rest being made up of voice tone and physiology. In practice, this means that verbal language is a shortened, condensed version of a rich mental representation. Whenever you communicate, you're passing only a tiny part of the information required, so the listener has to insert part of their own experience in order to derive meaning. This all happens unconsciously and instantly, making presuppositions so powerful. Essentially, a presupposition is a component of a sentence that has to be true in order for the sentence to be syntactically correct. "When are you hiring?" Only makes sense if the listener is hiring because "when" only has meaning in relation to "you are hiring". Take a moment to consider these questions, paying attention to your state and the way that you think about your response:

• Are you thinking about doing NLP training? • When are you thinking about doing NLP training? • Why are you thinking about doing NLP training?

• Are you thinking about your career? • What plans are you making for your career? • What plans have you made for your career? • What plans would you like to make for your career?

Now use this to construct questions that open opportunities for you. List 5 questions with presuppositions that reinforce beliefs

List 5 questions with presuppositions that change beliefs

Remember - every single sentence you speak is full of presuppositions - they're part of the syntax of natural language. They help us to keep our language short and relevant so that we can reduce the number of words we need to convey a simple concept or instruction. Our common frame of reference generates useful presuppositions, without which we would have difficulty communicating verbally. We could say that, usually, we communicate from our own frame of reference, whilst rapport creates a shared frame of reference. It's always worth noticing the presuppositions that people use naturally, as they give away a great deal of information about their own frame of reference, their values, their beliefs and their needs.


Meta Model The Meta Model is a structure of language that recovers lost or hidden information. The language that a person uses is true and complete for them, but the parts that are distorted or missing are out of their conscious awareness. The Meta model is simply designed to probe for pieces of information which have moved outside of the person's conscious awareness, so that the questioner can help the client to recover the answers for themselves. In a business context, the Meta model is invaluable when interviewing, and provides an excellent structure for gathering information in any situation. Using the Meta model, you can easily get information from people that they are not aware of themselves. Why? Have your partner come up with a problem phrased as "I can't…" Ask "Why not?" and listen to the way that the answers are structured. When you're being asked “Why?” or "Why not?", pay attention to how you feel and think as you answer. Useful questions In pairs, interview your partner to learn about a problem which is expressed as a “can’t” statement. You will only ask them three questions, which are:

• How do you know? • What stops you? • What would happen if you did?

Notice any differences in response to the last exercise.


State story You can use a story to help lead someone out of a particular state, towards a target state through an event which may or may not be related to either state. Present state > event > desired state So, begin with someone in a state that the listener will identify with personally. Then move through some kind of transition to a desirable end state, for example: There was a customer of mine who was confused once, about a decision. They found that by talking to a colleague and taking some time to read carefully through the information that they made a decision that they felt very comfortable with and that they look back on happily. Or you can even try: I have another client who had concerns about using a consultant, yet when he decided to give me the opportunity to work with him he began to feel very reassured and was ultimately so comfortable with the decision that he now calls me just to chat about the state of the market and we have developed a really trusting relationship. I wonder how a relationship like that could really help you to get better results? Milton Model The Milton Model is the opposite of the Meta Model Mind reading You might think…

You know… I know what you're thinking…

Complex equivalence This is the life, hard work is the only way, that man is a nightmare Presupposition When are you leaving?

When do you want to sign the contract? How many more times do I have to tell you?

Universal quantifiers All salespeople are honest He never listens to me

Tag questions This is the right thing for you to do, isn’t it? Aren't they? Won't we? Is it not? Could it?

Lost referential index Whilst it's true that….. They say that……

Double bind Will you decide now or later…….? Negative I’m not going to tell you that…..

I’m not being funny but….. Modal operators Should, ought, must, got to, have to, need to, will, want to… Ambiguities Annoys/a noise…see/sea…write/right…hi/high…wait/weight Right now you’re probably thinking that the Milton model is the best linguistic tool you’ve ever heard about and you may be wondering if you should try it out right away or wait until later. You know, it doesn't matter whether you decide to use this right now, or not, because getting the results you want is easy when you realise what you have to do to make it happen, easily. I'm not going to tell you that you need to think about this more, carefully, yet when you choose to, you'll be making another big step towards getting the results that you want, won't you?


Presenting vaguely Prepare the opening lines of a presentation using 3 or 4 of the above language patterns. Speak them with absolute confidence. Storytelling Storytelling is one of the most powerful communication techniques you can ever employ. It directly influences the listener’s emotional state and it bypasses their critical filters. Stories can be used to change, to influence or even just to enjoy. Tell a short story – perhaps something that happened at work, maybe a story about change, maybe a story about someone you know who has achieved something remarkable. Logical levels Identity Belief Capability Behaviour Environment Logical Levels – problem solving Explore an issue by ‘walking through’ logical levels Identity – who I am in relation to this problem Belief – causes, what is true and false, what is right and wrong Capability – states, skills, knowledge, experience to solve this problem Behaviour – actions, decisions Environment – physical environment, other people Buying strategy Discuss your strategies for buying decisions – in terms of representational systems. Modelling Decide what you want to be good at. Decide who is really good at it, and discover from them one or two distinctions that will improve your performance and the performance of anybody reading the report. Ideally record the conversation and see them in action. Discuss the following and report back: What is worth modelling? Who is worth modelling? What questions could you ask?


Eye accessing cues Ask your partner the questions listed, remembering this is giving you a chance to train your observation skills. Memorise the question then look your partner right in the eye as you ask it. If you read the question from the book you will miss the eye accessing which occurs as soon as your partner understands the question - usually about half way through! Where is your bed in relation to the window? What’s your favourite colour? How does confusion feel? Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? How would a dog sound if it could talk? What’s the second letter on a computer keyboard? How hard do you have to close your car door? When was the last time that you were cosy? Is your hot tap on the right or left? How does your favourite song sound when played backwards? What do your bedroom curtains look like? What is their texture like? What noise do they make as you open them? Is your wardrobe door easy or hard to open? When did you last hear your name? Metaprograms Metaprograms can be used as an effective psychometric tool and have several advantages over other proprietary profiling tools. Firstly, Metaprograms are revealed within the structure of language, so they can be tested and checked conversationally in real time. Secondly, Metaprograms take into account the way that a person's behavioural responses change in different contexts. You probably respond to motivation differently at home, at work or in an exam. Applications include sales, presentations, hypnosis, analysing markets, advertising, career planning, change management, political campaigns, recruitment - and much more! Sensory preference Does everyone see images of memories inside their heads? Does everyone feel an emotion in the same way, with the same intensity? Does everyone hear a voice inside their head, reading out loud, giving instructions and feedback? The answer, or course, is no. As you might expect, everyone is different. Not only that, but everyone uses all of their senses to differing degrees. Listen carefully to what someone says - there will be words in their sentences which aren't part of the content which are called predicates. These predicates are biased toward the person's sensory preference. For example, if we're talking about having a conversation with someone: We saw eye to eye Visual We clicked Kinaesthetic We spoke the same language Auditory


As you can guess, visual people can easily understand complex pictures, auditory people like to read about or listen to a description and kinaesthetic people like to physically experience something new. Here are some more examples of words to watch and listen out for: Visual Auditory Kinaesthetic See Picture Look Watch Perspective Vision Outlook Bright Clear Focus Sharp Background Shine Reflect Dim Hazy Short-sighted Blinkered Colour Envisage Overlook Imagine (from Image) Clarify

Listen Hear Sound Noise Loud Quiet Amplify Tell Resonate Hum Whistle Whine Roar Silent Rhythm Melody Harmony Talk Language Volume Wavelength Call Say

Feel Touch Grab Hold Contact Push Embrace Warm Cold Sinking Down Ache Gut reaction Queasy Steady Stable Solid Firm Soft Grasp Handle Forceful Smooth

Motivation Direction

Are you motivated by goals or by avoiding problems? Do you avoid unpleasant situations or do you know what you want and go for it? Are you good at identifying all of the potential drawbacks of a plan or do you dive in and find out about the problems later? The direction of motivation is simply this: do you move towards good things or away from bad things? To find our whether a person is motivated by moving towards things they want or by getting away from things they don't want, first ask: Q What do you want in (whatever)? Then ask the following question 3 times to get a majority answer (ask each question of the previous answer) Q Why is that important? Towards Away from To get To have To become I want

To avoid So I don't have to To get away from I don't want


This is useful when motivating a person to perform a task or for changing behaviour. It's pointless telling a towards person that by doing something, he can avoid problems later. It's just as pointless telling an away from person that by doing something she will achieve great things. Reference Source Have you noticed how some people just know what it is they want whereas other people are always asking if what they're doing is OK? Some people just don't seem to take any notice of the world around them whilst others are always checking that everyone else is OK. Do you instinctively know when something is right, or do you like to keep 'to do' lists so that you can be sure that everything's finished off? The source of motivation is: do you use your own internal judgements and benchmarks or do you use other people's? To find out whether a person is motivated and judged by their own internal ideals and concepts or whether they need external feedback and benchmarking you can ask this question: Q How do you know that what you're doing is right? Internal External I just know My boss tells me

My colleagues tell me I tick everything off my to do list I have a pile of certificates

This is useful when giving reasons as to why someone should perform a task or change behaviour. If you tell an internal person that they should agree to something because everyone else in the team does, they will say "so what?". If you tell an external person that if they think something's right then that's good enough, they may get quite frustrated. A very Internal person might not even understand the question, the thought of asking someone else's opinion being so alien to them. Internal people hear instructions as comments - External people hear comments as instructions. Choice Some people never seem to do things the same way twice. Others seem unable to innovate or create and will continue to do something the same way until external events force them to change. Options thinkers are good at being creative and thinking up new ideas and ways to do things. Procedures thinkers are good at finishing things and following routines. You wouldn't want procedures people in creative jobs and you wouldn't want options people in jobs that were heavily regulated. To find out if a person likes to have many options available at each decision point or if that person needs to follow a set procedure, ask: Q Why did you choose this job/car/house/etc Options Procedures Answers why, very quickly with well defined reasons

Answers how the choice came to be Tells a story

Useful in understanding how a person will react to rules and work structures. Useful in predicting how a person will react to obstacles. Determines how a person will set objectives and what path


will be taken to reach those objectives. An options person would need to always have choices and would be frustrated by set procedures and agenda. A procedures person would find choice and indecision frustrating and would seek out procedures and rules. Sorting This simply relates to whether people first notice the differences or similarities between two different concepts or situations. If you're good at 'spot the difference' puzzles, you have a difference bias. If you're good at making connections, metaphors and analogies, that indicates a similarity bias. Q What is the relationship between this job and your last job/car/house/etc? Differences Similarities Similarities with exceptions Different to One was…

Same as They were both…

Same as except for They were both…except one was

This is useful in learning and decision making, e.g. a differences person would base a choice on the differences between options.


Scope Do you like to see the big picture, or is the devil in the detail? Can you easily work out complex relationships or do you like things to be neatly packaged and described? This relates to how someone communicates the content of a message - do they talk about overviews, missing out all of the detail, or do they assemble the picture starting from the detail and working up? In order to determine someone's scope, just listen to the things that they say. General people will start at the top and work down. They'll give you short, generalised answers and when giving directions will start at the destination and fill in major landmarks. General people cope with complex information easily, sorting it and organising it in a way that specific people find difficult. Specific people start at the first point of detail and work forwards, so in a complex situation they can get lost. When giving directions, specific people work forwards until they reach the destination. Specific people are good for making sure all the details of a plan or idea are in place. Recruitment exercise Imagine you’re a recruitment consultant and choose three jobs you are interviewing for. Assuming the applicants all have the skills to do the job, which metaprograms will you look for? Metaprogram presentation Individually prepare 2 minute presentation that will appeal to the full spectrum of at least 4 named metaprograms.


Trance Trance suggestions Work out some suggestions or questions that you would like to have made to you as part of a trance induction. Utilisation exercise Tell your partner three things that are present in their sensory experience Give your partner one positive suggestion Ask your partner what they are now aware of Your partner replies Cycle through e.g. You can see these words, you can feel the paper, you can hear people around you, you are learning far more quickly than you thought possible. What are you aware of now? Elman Induction Read this script to your partner whilst they co-operate. First, prepare the positive suggestion that you will insert at the end. You can write it into the space indicated if you want to. In this exercise you must be happy to learn about how to develop your relaxation skills and follow instructions exactly as asked – Neither taking too long to follow instructions nor anticipating what will be asked. Now take a long deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. As you exhale this breath, allow your eyes to close, and let go of the surface tension in your body. Just let your body relax as much as possible right now. Now place your awareness on your eye muscles and relax the muscles around your eyes to the point they just won’t work. When you’re sure they’re so relaxed that, as long as you hold on to this relaxation they just won’t work, hold on to that relaxation and test them to make sure THEY WON’T WORK. Now, this relaxation you have in your eyes is the same the same quality of relaxation that I want you to have throughout your whole body. So, just let this quality of relaxation flow through your whole body from the top of your head, to the tip of your toes. Now we can deepen this relaxation much more. In a moment I’m going to have you open and close your eyes. When you close your eyes that’s your signal to let this feeling of relaxation become 10 times deeper. All you have to do is want this to happen and you can make it happen very easily. OK, now, open your eyes…now close your eyes and feel that relaxation flowing through your whole body, taking you much, much deeper. Use your wonderful imagination and imagine your whole body is covered and warmed up in a warm blanket of relaxation.


Now, let every muscle in your body become so relaxed that as long as you hold on to this quality of relaxation, every muscle in your body is totally relaxed. In a moment I’m going to have you open and close your eyes one more time. Again when you close your eyes, double the relaxation you now have. Make it become twice as deep. OK, now once more open your eyes. …And close your eyes …and double your relaxation…good. Let every muscle in your body hold on to this quality of relaxation. In a moment I’m going to lift your right (or left) hand by the wrist, just a few inches and drop it. If you have followed my instructions up to this point, that hand will be so relaxed it will be just as loose and limp as a damp dish cloth, and will simply plop down. Now don’t try to help me. Let me do all the lifting so that when I release it, it just plops down and you allow yourself to go deeper still. [Gently lift their hand by the wrist and drop it onto their leg] Just let yourself go deeper still. Take a long, deep breath and close your eyes. Now relax the muscles around your eyes to the point where they won’t work… and pretend you can’t open them even though you know full well that you can. As long as you hold on to this relaxation, you can pretend that they just won’t work. When you’re sure they’re so relaxed that they just won’t work, continue to pretend that they won’t work and test them to make sure THEY WON’T WORK. Test them hard ……that’s right. We want your mind to be as relaxed as your body is, so I want you to start counting from 100 backwards when I tell you to. Each time you say a number, double your mental relaxation. With each number you say, let your mind become twice as relaxed. By the time the numbers get down to 98, you’ll be so relaxed the numbers won’t be there. Now, you have to do this, I can’t do it for you. Those numbers will leave if you will them away. Now say out loud, the first number, 100 and double your mental relaxation. Say 100. Now double that mental relaxation, say 99,……….now double that mental relaxation, let those numbers already start to fade. They’ll go if you will them to. Say 98. Deeper relaxed, now they’ll be gone. Dispel them. Banish them. Make it happen, you can do it; I can’t do it for you. Put them out, make it happen! Are they all gone? Now really enjoy the skills and relaxation until I say something important to you, which I want you to take in at an even deeper level, easily and honestly if it's what you need. [insert suggestion] Now come back to this room when I’ve counted from 3 to 1 and you’ve realised that you’ve learnt something important to you. 3…2…1


Timelines Kinaesthetic timeline Ask your partner if he/she has something they would like to investigate in the future. Ask your partner where their future and past are, imagined as a line which may be forward and behind or side to side. Ask your partner to walk to a position in time when the issue is completely solved, and then take one more step to a time when they can feel really good about it. Ask how that feels. Ask your partner to walk even further to a time when the problem is long solved and forgotten about. Ask how that feels. Ask your partner to walk slowly back to the present day, collecting up all the useful experience and learning, bringing it all back and integrating it into the present day. Setting priorities Ask your partner to walk forward to a specific long term goal that they have. As they walk, have them become aware of any barriers or obstacles that they overcame. Make a note of what each barrier is, then have them move on until they have achieved their goal. Ask your partner to take one more step, then turn and look back at the milestones they passed. What were the first things that had to be achieved to make the goal a reality? What had to be done, and in what order of priority? Walk back to the present, collecting up all of the experiences and achievements and bringing them back to the present moment. As they walk, play back the barriers that they overcame in reverse order as you guide them back to the present. Turn and look towards the goal once more and note anything that has changed. Super goals Ask your partner if he/she has a goal or dream for the future. Ask your partner to walk to a position in time when they have achieved this goal and let them enjoy how that feels. Ask your partner to walk a little further and think about where that takes them. What has their goal become? Ask your partner how that feels. Ask your partner to walk to a time long past the time they first achieved their goal. Ask your partner how that feels. Ask your partner to walk slowly back to the present day, collecting up all the useful experience and learning, bringing it all back and integrating it into the present day. Has their original goal changed?


Integration Problem sorting In pairs, interview your partner to learn about a problem or other situation they would like to explore. Your intention is to help them resolve it. As your partner talks about the situation, notice key words or phrases that they mark out with gestures, state shifts or voice tone changes. Write these words and phrases down verbatim. If you can’t, ask your partner to summarise a particular point with a word or phrase that fits. Now give the cards to your partner and ask them to sort out and organise the cards. They can do anything they want with the cards in order to organise them in a way that makes sense to them. Do not intervene at this point – just watch and notice what happens. Problem shifting In pairs, interview your partner to learn about a problem or other situation they would like to explore. Your intention is to help them resolve it. As your partner talks about the situation, respond to and question them using only past tense language. Next, start talking about the desired outcome using future tense. When you notice your partner shift into a resolution state, switch to present tense. Cold reading Your partner is going to tell your fortune! You can use any prop you like for this exercise. The trick is to start at a very general level, then move very slowly, noting your partner's non-verbal responses before they respond consciously, using their unconscious yes/no to guide your next step.

Self Improvement

Peter nlp-foundation