Chapter 2

Considering Self

Amy Eckert/Getty Images

The self is an evolving composite of three

components that develop continually over time based

on life experience.

The Components of Self

Gly

nis

Selin

aA

rban/C

onto

ur

by G

ett

y I

mages

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to view yourself as a

unique person and to reflect on your thoughts,

feelings, and behaviors.

Social comparison is observing and assigning

meaning to others’ behavior and then comparing it

with your own.

Self-concept is your overall perception of who you

are, based on the beliefs, attitudes, and values you

have about yourself.

Looking-glass self is your self-concept as shaped by

what you believe others think of you.

Self-Concept

Self-fulfilling prophecies are predictions about

future interactions that lead us to behave in ways

that ensure the interaction unfolds as we predicted.

Self-Concept (cont.)

Ronnie

Kaufm

an/L

arr

y H

irshow

itz/G

ett

y I

mages

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the overall value, positive or

negative, that we assign to ourselves.

com

me

rceandculture

sto

ck/G

ett

y Im

ages

Low Self-Esteem: A Vicious Cycle

Figure 2.1

Self-discrepancy theory suggests that your self-

esteem is determined by how you compare to your

ideal self and ought self.

Self-Esteem (cont.)A

llan G

rant

/Tim

e &

Life P

ictu

res/G

ett

y Im

ages

Our selves are shaped by the powerful outside forces

of gender, family, and culture.

The Sources of Self

Paul B

radbury

/Gett

y I

mages

Gender and Self

Gender is the composite of social, psychological, and

cultural attributes that characterize a person as male

or female.

Alla

n G

rant/

Tim

e &

Life P

ictu

res/G

ett

y Im

ages

Family and Self

Our interactions with caregivers shape two

dimensions of our behavior:

• Attachment anxiety

• Attachment avoidance

Family and Self (cont.)

There are four attachment styles:

1. Secure attachment

2. Preoccupied attachment

3. Dismissive attachment

4. Fearful attachment

Culture and Self

Culture is an established, coherent set of beliefs,

attitudes, values, and practices shared by a large

group of people.

Belonging to an individualistic or a

collectivistic culture shapes our views of self.

Presenting Your Self

People know and judge the “you” who

communicates with them, not the “you” you keep

inside.

(Left to right) West Rock/Getty Images; © Image Source/Alamy; © John Elk III/Alamy; Exotica.im 15/Alamy

Maintaining Your Public Self

When you communicate with others, you present a

public self or face.

Photo

AP

/Th

e A

rizona R

epublic

, M

ichael C

how

Maintaining Your Public Self

(cont.)

A mask is a public self designed to conceal your

private self.

Embarrassment can result when information is

revealed that contradicts your face.

The Importance of Online Self-

Presentation

Interacting online gives us the freedom to be flexible

with our identities and to control how others perceive

us.

The Importance of Online Self-

Presentation (cont.)

Always consider the warranting value of information

presented to you online—that is, the degree to which

it is supported by other people and outside evidence.

Improving Your Online

Self-Presentation

What others say about you online is more important

than what you say about yourself.

Ben P

ruchnie

/GC

Im

ages/G

ett

y Im

ages

Improving Your Online

Self-Presentation (cont.)

Three ways to improve online self-presentation:

1. Be wary of information that contradicts your self-

image.

2. Routinely conduct Web searches on yourself.

3. Keep the interview test in mind.

The Relational Self

One of the reasons we carefully craft the presentation

of our self is to create interpersonal relationships.

Dre

am

work

sLLC

/Th

e K

obalC

olle

ctio

n

Opening Your Self to Others

According to social penetration theory,

revealing the self to others involves peeling back

or penetrating layers.

There are three layers to the self:

1. Outermost, peripheral layers

2. Intermediate layers

3. Central layers

The Layers of Self

Figure 2.2

Opening Your Self to Others

(cont.)

The revealing of self involves two things:

• Breadth: the number of different

aspects of self revealed at each layer•

Depth: how deeply into each other’s self the

partners have penetrated

Opening Your Self to Others

(cont.)

Intimacy is the feeling of closeness

and “union” that exists between us and our

partners.

Cath

y Y

eule

t/123R

F.c

om

Your Hidden and Revealed Self

Some “quadrants” of our selves are open to self-

reflection and sharing with other people, while

others remain hidden.

• Each of us has a public area, a hidden

area, a blind area, and an unknown

area.

The Johari Window

Figure 2.3

Disclosing Your Self to Others

Self-disclosure is revealing private information

about your self to others.

• Interpersonal process model of

intimacy: the closeness we feel toward

others is created through self-disclosure

and the responsiveness of listeners.

Disclosing Your Self to Others

(cont.)

Self-disclosure:

1. Varies across and within cultures

2. Happens more quickly online

3. Promotes mental health

4. Occurs among men and women equally

Disclosing Your Self to Others

(cont.)

Improve your self-disclosure skills:

1. Know yourself.

2. Know your audience.

3. Don’t force others to self-disclose.

4. Don’t presume gender preferences.

5. Be sensitive to cultural differences.

6. Go slowly.