10 Characteristics of Successful Mentors

Keys to becoming a successful mentor

According to a study of Big Brothers, Big Sisters in the USA, one of the largest mentoring organizations in the world

1. Be a friendo Don’t act like a parento Don’t try to be an authority figureo Don’t preach about valueso DO FOCUS ON THE BOND

2. Have realistic goals and expectationso Focus on overall development, not performance

and changeo Center initial goals on the relationship itselfo Emphasize friendship over performance

For more ideas, visit Mentoring Youth

3. Have fun togethero Youth spell love – TIMEo Informal activities lay the foundation for formal

oneso Shared activities become great discussion starters

4. Give your protégé voice and choice in deciding activitieso Help them to explore possibilities and then make

their choiceso Listen more than you talko Question more than you Preach

For more ideas, visit Mentoring Youth

5. Be positiveo Praise and encouragement build self-esteemo Be supportive rather than critical – focus on

solutions rather than problems

6. Let the protégé have much of the control over what the two of you talk abouto Don’t push, be patiento Be sensitive and responsive to cueso Let them know that can confide in you without you

becoming judgmental

For more ideas, visit Mentoring Youth

7. Listeno Let youth vent without criticizing themo When you listen they see you as a friend, not an

authority figure

8. Respect the trust your protégé places in youo Respond in ways that show you understand. This is

not the same as agreeo Reassure the protégé that you are there for themo Advice should not be dispensed but mutually

discoveredo If you have to convey concern or displeasure, do it

with caring and understandingo Sound like a friend not a parent… youth easily

discern the difference

For more ideas, visit Mentoring Youth

9. Remember your relationship is with the youth and not the youth’s parento Maintain cordial contact, but you are not there to

be a spy for parents. You are there to be a champion for the youth

o Keep your focus on the youtho You are not there to bring about the parents

wishes, but to help the youth discover their potential

o Be non-judgmental about the family

10. You are responsible for building the relationshipo Take responsibility for making and maintaining

contacto Don’t expect adult to adult relationships

For more ideas, visit Mentoring Youth