Ed Batista, The Art of Self-Coaching @StanfordBiz, Class 8: UNHAPPINESS

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The art of

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Ed BatistaClass 8: UNHAPPINESS

self-coaching

Class #

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UnhappinessEveryone you meet

is fighting a battleyou know nothing about.

~ Wendy Mass

Unhappiness

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Unhappiness

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The absence of happiness?A legitimate feeling

A fruitful state

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3 exercises 60 minsSmall groups 15 minsFor next time… 5 mins

Agenda

Not a deep dive

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Positive

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psychologyConnections with todayImportance of meaningEmotion managementMental models

Downsides

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Banish unhappiness?Peterson: Blame the victimAgency “I’m responsible”

& limits

3 exercises

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3 exercisesPen & paperNo one will see what you writeBe explicit, detailed & personalEmotional experiences, not just cognitive

Exercise #1

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Discuss with your

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partner

Stoicism

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Stoicism

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Not “stoicism”Equanimity ≠ Weary resignation

Stoicism

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What is happiness?Equanimity & tranquility(Eudaimonia, not mere pleasure)

Stoicism

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Cultivate equanimity & tranquilityTurn toward negative emotions(Growth mindset)(Meta-emotion)

Stoicism

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Things do not touch the soul.Our perturbations come only

from the opinion which is within.

~Marcus Aurelius

Stoicism

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Distress stems from our beliefs & judgmentsTurn infinite fears into finite ones(Emotion management)(Mental models)

Exercise #2

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Discuss with your

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partner

Buddhism

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Buddhism

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Resisting our addiction to avoiding painBeing inquisitive & open to experience(Comfort with discomfort)(Mindfulness)

Buddhism

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What we call obstacles are really the waythe world teaches us where we’re

stuck.~Pema Chödrön

(Mental models)

Buddhism

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Seeking pleasure is an opportunity to observe

what we do in the face of pain.~Pema Chödrön

Buddhism

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A strong feeling will arise, and instead of

simply letting it be there, we panic.

~Pema Chödrön(Meta-emotion)

Buddhism

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Death is wanting to have every experience

confirm you and congratulate you andmake you feel completely

together.~Pema Chödrön

(Growth mindset)

Exercise #3

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Discuss with your

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partner

Logotherapy

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LogotherapyHappiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.

~Viktor Frankl(At odds with positive

psychology?)

LogotherapyMan’s search for meaning is the

primary motivation in his life.~Viktor Frankl

LogotherapyConsistent with positive psychology?Eudaimonia > Mere pleasureAgency & responsibility

LogotherapyIt is possible to practice the art of living

even in a concentration camp,although suffering is

omnipresent.~ Viktor Frankl

LogotherapyEverywhere man is confronted with fate,

with the chance of achieving something through his own suffering.

~Viktor Frankl

Thank your

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partner

3 approachesWhich one is most relevant to you right now?Reflect

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Form smallgroupsStoics, Buddhists, LogotherapistsGroups of 5 or fewer

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Discuss with your group

How are these ideas relevant to me?What might I do with them?

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DebriefWhat did you learn?

To sum up

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Many approaches beyond positive psychologyDifferent from, not opposed toLearning how you learn

For next time…

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SuccessSonja Lyubomirsky on mythsDavid Foster Wallace on valuesPeter Drucker on self-management…and an exercise

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ManagingOneself Worksheet

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ManagingComplete AFTER doing the readings

Oneself Worksheet

Other items…Slides posted on my siteNext assignment due Tues Nov 29, 9pm

Thank you for

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the trust

Happy &

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safe travels

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