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Interpersonal Photo by Zeiss Microscopy [ link ] Dynamics Ed Batista Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

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Page 1: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Interpersonal

Photo by Zeiss Microscopy [link]

Dynamics

Ed BatistaClass 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Page 2: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Here until 5:50pmClose support triosWork in small groupsA short breakAlumni join your groupsYour final T-group tonight

Today’s agenda

Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

Page 3: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Photo by Martin Meredith [link]

Vulnerabilityhangover

Page 4: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

VulnerabilityhangoverThe morning after the [2010 TED] talk, I woke up with one of the worst vulnerability hangovers of my life… What did I do? 500 people officially think I’m crazy & it totally sucks.

~Brené Brown

Page 5: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

VulnerabilityhangoverA feature, not a bug

Page 6: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

If that’s nottherapy, what is it?

Page 7: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Comfort withdiscomfortDisclosures aren’t intended to heal or solveGreater capacity to share & witness Very real-world issue

Page 8: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Photo by amira_a [link]

An ending

Page 9: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Discuss with your

How you helpedWhat I’m thankful forWhat I learned about support

support group

Page 10: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

DebriefWhat did you learn?How might this apply in the real world?

Page 11: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Thank your group

Photo by John Martinez Pavliga [link]

Page 12: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

But is this real?

Photo by Zeiss Microscopy [link]

Page 13: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

But is this real?Yes & no

Intensively-designed experienceBut ALL experiences are shaped by the setting

Page 14: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

But is this real?The purpose is NOT to replicate T-groups

in lifeBut to understand foundational principles& translate them into other cultures

Page 15: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Foundations

Photo by Branden Frederick [link]

Page 16: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Translating

Photo by Sludge G [link]

Page 17: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Vulnerability

Page 18: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Performance &

Stress

Performance

Eustress Distress

stress

Page 19: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Safety, trust,

Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]

intimacy

Page 20: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

CONTEXT Learning,

Awareness,& Behavioral

Change

Experimentation,Risk-Taking,

& Vulnerability

Safety, Trust, Intimacy

Initial Conditions

Page 21: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Social identityContinuum of social behavior IntergroupInterpersonal

Page 22: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Intergroup

Photo by U.S. Army [link]

Page 23: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Intergroup

Photo by Neon Tommy [link]

Page 24: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Interpersonal

Photo by Tania Cataldo [link]

Page 25: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

It’s usually both

Photo by Anne Worner [link]

Page 26: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

FeedbackStressfulConfusingUnwelcome

Page 27: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Feedback

Photo by rh20x [link]

Page 28: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

It’s not like this…

Page 29: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

It’s like this

Photo by Unknown. Concept by Kevin Martin.

Page 30: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

3 triggers

Photo by Wendy [link]

TruthRelationshipIdentity

Page 31: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

The netMe You

Yourrespons

e

Mybehavi

orMyintention

Page 32: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

5 levels1: Ritual2: Extended Ritual3: Content4: Feelings About Content

5: Feelings About Each Other

Photo by Rita Willaert [link]

Page 33: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Emotions areattention magnets

Photo by Garrett Mace [link]

Page 34: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

A soft start

Photo by Oakley Originals [link]

Like this

Page 35: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Begin with authentic positive intentEmphasize mutual goals

A soft start

Page 36: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Connections

Photo by Hadley Paul Garland [link]

Page 37: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

ConnectionsA bid can be a question, a gesture, a look, a touch—any single expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you.”

~John Gottman

Page 38: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]

SCARF model

Page 39: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

StatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness

SCARF model

Page 40: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Stereotype threat

Photo by Renato Ganoza

Page 41: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Microaggressions

Photo by Igor Spasic [link]

Page 42: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

The balcony &

Photo by Richard Leeming [link]

the dance floor

Page 43: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Dissecting a

Photo by Sharon Mollerus [link]

group

Page 44: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

EQ and groups

Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]

Page 45: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

EQ and groupsEssential conditions…Mutual trustGroup identity (Feeling of belonging)Group efficacy (Belief in value of the team)Strongly affected by group EQ

Page 46: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

EQ and groupsHigh EQ individuals ≠ High EQ groupGroup norms determine group EQCreate awareness of emotionHelp regulate emotion

Page 47: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

EQ and groups

Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]

Ability to identify productivenorms & make them explicit

Norms regarding emotionawareness & regulation

Mutual trust,group identity, group

efficacy

Participation, cooperation, collaboration

Effectiveness

Page 48: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Kantor’s 4 players

Photo by Thomas Galvez [link]

Page 49: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Kantor’s 4 playersMover initiates

Follower supportsOpposer challengesBystander observes

Page 50: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Kantor’s 4 playersOptimal system

All roles are representedAll members can play all roles at any time

Page 51: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Kantor’s 4 playersSub-optimal system

One or more roles is missingMembers may avoid certain rolesMembers may get stuck in certain roles

Page 52: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Defense routines

Photo by Jônatas Cunha [link]

Page 53: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Pfeffer & Cuddy

Page 54: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

CuddyInfluence = warmth + strength(Establish warmth first)

Page 55: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

…and Top Quartile in Leadership

Effectiveness

Bottom Quartile in Likeability…

1 in 2000

Page 56: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

PfefferAmbitionEnergyFocusSelf-knowledgeConfidenceEmpathy for othersCapacity to tolerate conflict

Page 57: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

What is support?

Photo by Peter Dutton [link] Photo by Resolute Support Media [link] Photo by Drew [link]

Page 58: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Consciousness

Competence

1

2 3

4

Page 59: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Act

Reflect

Conceptualize

PlanPrepare & develop a

future course of action.

Identify principles that help explain the results & update old theories.

Assess my behavior & its consequences.

Experientiallearning

Page 60: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Form groups of

Photo by Chris Samuels [link]

Page 61: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Discuss (Part 1)What have we learned?

How will we apply it in the real world?

Page 62: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Discuss (Part 2)What questions do we have for our

alumni?

Page 63: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]

Take a break

10 minutes

Page 64: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Photo by Naotake Murayama [link]

Welcome!

Page 65: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]

How this will workOne of our guests will join your group

You’ll have 13 minutes with themThen they’ll rotate aroundPlease stay on time

Page 66: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]

DebriefWhat did you learn?What questions remain?What concerns do you have?

Page 67: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Next stepsWeek 9 Post-Group Assignment due Thurs @ NoonThis is your final written assignmentPlease thank your Reading Coach

Page 68: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Next stepsWeek 10 Readings & Class Notes on CanvasWeek 10 Pre-Class Assignment due Tues @ 3pmFinal feedback prep, nothing to submitSingle most important task

Page 69: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Final feedback

Photo by Ana Karenina [link]

Page 70: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Final feedbackSame format as end of LeadLabsSeries of 1:1 conversationsA lot of work to prepareStart early

Page 71: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Final feedbackA suggested formatHere’s what I’ve appreciated about you…

& here’s what I hope for you…If this doesn’t work for you, use another format

Page 72: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Final feedbackNotes can helpBut don’t just read themThe experience makes a differenceThis isn’t the time to drop a bombshell

Page 73: Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD

Dynamics InterpersonalFor more:www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html