(and How to Cultivate It) What Self-Awareness Really Is

6/21/2019 What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It)

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MANAGINGYOURSELF

WhatSelf-AwarenessReallyIs(andHowtoCultivateIt)byTashaEurich

JANUARY04,2018

ARCHITRUJILLO/GETTYIMAGES

Self-awarenessseemstohavebecomethelatestmanagementbuzzword —andforgoodreason.

Researchsuggeststhatwhenweseeourselvesclearly,wearemoreconfidentandmorecreative.We

makesounderdecisions,buildstrongerrelationships,andcommunicatemoreeffectively.We’reless

likelytolie,cheat,andsteal.Wearebetterworkerswhogetmorepromotions.Andwe’remore-

effectiveleaderswithmore-satisfiedemployeesandmore-profitablecompanies.

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AboutOurResearchThemajorcomponentsofourresearchincluded:

Analyzingtheresultsofnearly800existingscienticstudiestounderstandhowpreviousresearchersdenedself-awareness,unearththemesandtrends,andidentifythelimitationsoftheseinvestigations.

Surveyingthousandsofpeopleacrosscountriesandindustriestoexploretherelationshipbetweenself-awarenessandseveralkeyattitudesandbehaviors,likejobsatisfaction,empathy,happiness,andstress.Wealsosurveyedthosewhoknewthesepeoplewelltodeterminetherelationshipbetweenselfandotherratingsofself-awareness.

Developingandvalidatingasevenfactor,multi-raterassessmentofself-awareness,becauseourreviewoftheresearchdidn’tidentifyanystrong,well-validated,comprehensivemeasures.

Conductingindepthinterviewswith50peoplewho’ddramatically

Asanorganizationalpsychologistandexecutivecoach,I’vehadaringsideseattothepowerof

leadershipself-awarenessfornearly15years.I’vealsoseenhowattainablethisskillis.Yet,whenI

firstbegantodelveintotheresearchonself-awareness,Iwassurprisedbythestrikinggapbetween

thescienceandthepracticeofself-awareness.Allthingsconsidered,weknewsurprisinglylittle

aboutimprovingthiscriticalskill.

Fouryearsago,myteamofresearchersandIembarkedonalarge-scalescientificstudyofself-

awareness.In 10separateinvestigationswithnearly5,000participants,weexaminedwhatself-

awarenessreallyis,whyweneedit,andhowwecanincreaseit.(Wearecurrentlywritingupour

resultsforsubmissiontoanacademicjournal.)

Ourresearchrevealedmanysurprising

roadblocks,myths,andtruthsaboutwhatself-

awarenessisandwhatittakestoimproveit.

We’vefoundthateventhoughmostpeople

believetheyareself-aware,self-awarenessisa

trulyrarequality: Weestimatethatonly10%–15%

ofthepeoplewestudiedactuallyfitthecriteria.

Threefindingsinparticularstoodout, andare

helpingusdeveloppracticalguidanceforhow

leaderscanlearntoseethemselvesmoreclearly.

#1:ThereAreTwoTypesofSelf-AwarenessForthelast50years,researchershaveused

varyingdefinitionsofself-awareness.For

example,someseeitastheabilitytomonitorour

innerworld,whereasothers labelitasa

temporarystateofself-consciousness. Stillothers

describeitasthedifferencebetweenhowwesee

ourselvesandhowothersseeus.

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improvedtheirself-awarenesstolearnaboutthekeyactionsthathelpedthemgetthere,aswellastheirbeliefsandpractices.Ourintervieweesincludedentrepreneurs,professionals,executivesandevenaFortune10CEO.(Tobeincludedinourstudy,participantshadtoclearfourhurdles:1)theyhadtoseethemselvesashighlyself-aware,whichwemeasuredusingourvalidatedassessment,2)usingthatsameassessment,someonewhoknewthemwellhadtoagree,3)theyhadtobelievethey’dexperiencedanupwardtrendofself-awarenessoverthecourseoftheirlife.Eachparticipantwasaskedtorecalltheirlevelofself-awarenessatdifferentstagesoftheirlifeupuntiltheagetheywerecurrently(e.g.,earlyadulthood:ages19-24,adulthood:ages25-34,mid-life:ages35-49,matureadulthood:ages50-80),and4)thepersonratingthemhadtoagreewiththeparticipants’recollections.)

Surveyinghundredsofmanagersandtheiremployeestolearnmoreabouttherelationshipbetweenleadershipself-awarenessandemployeeattitudeslikecommitment,leadershipeffectiveness,andjobsatisfaction.

Coauthorsonthisworkare:HaleyM.Woznyj,LongwoodUniversityPhoenixVanWagoner,LeedsSchoolofBusiness,UniversityofColoradoEric D Heggestad University of North

Sobeforewecouldfocusonhowtoimproveself-

awareness,weneededtosynthesizethese

findingsandcreateanoverarchingdefinition.

Acrossthestudiesweexamined,twobroad

categoriesofself-awarenesskeptemerging.The

first,whichwedubbedinternalself-awareness,

representshowclearlyweseeourownvalues,

passions,aspirations,fitwithourenvironment,

reactions(includingthoughts,feelings,behaviors,

strengths,andweaknesses),andimpacton

others.We’vefoundthatinternalself-awareness

isassociatedwithhigherjobandrelationship

satisfaction,personalandsocialcontrol,and

happiness;itisnegativelyrelatedtoanxiety,

stress,anddepression.

Thesecondcategory,externalself-awareness,

meansunderstandinghowotherpeopleviewus,

intermsofthosesamefactorslistedabove.Our

researchshowsthatpeoplewhoknowhowothers

seethemaremoreskilledatshowingempathy

andtakingothers’perspectives.Forleaderswho

seethemselvesastheiremployeesdo,their

employeestendtohaveabetterrelationshipwith

them,feelmoresatisfiedwiththem,andseethem

asmoreeffectiveingeneral.

It’seasytoassumethatbeinghighononetypeof

awarenesswouldmeanbeinghighontheother.

Butourresearchhasfoundvirtuallyno

relationshipbetweenthem.Asaresult,weidentify fourleadershiparchetypes,eachwithadifferent

setofopportunitiestoimprove:

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Whenitcomesto

internaland

externalself-

awareness,it’s

temptingtovalue

oneovertheother.

Butleadersmust

activelyworkon

bothseeing

themselvesclearly

andgetting

feedbackto

understandhowothersseethem.Thehighlyself-awarepeopleweinterviewedwereactively

focusedonbalancingthescale.

TakeJeremiah,amarketingmanager.Earlyinhiscareer,hefocusedprimarilyoninternalself-

awareness—forexample,decidingtoleavehiscareerinaccountingtopursuehispassionfor

marketing.Butwhenhehadthechancetogetcandidfeedbackduringacompanytraining,he

realizedthathewasn’tfocusedenoughonhowhewasshowingup.Jeremiahhassinceplacedan

equalimportanceonbothtypesofself-awareness,whichhebelieveshashelpedhimreachanew

levelofsuccessandfulfillment.

Thebottomlineisthatself-awarenessisn’tonetruth.It’sadelicatebalanceoftwodistinct,even

competing,viewpoints.(Ifyou’reinterestedinlearningwhereyoustandineachcategory,afree

shortenedversionofourmulti-raterself-awarenessassessmentisavailablehere.)

#2:ExperienceandPowerHinderSelf-AwarenessContrarytopopularbelief,studieshaveshownthatpeopledonotalwayslearnfromexperience,

thatexpertisedoesnothelppeoplerootoutfalseinformation,andthatseeingourselvesashighly

experiencedcankeepusfromdoingourhomework,seekingdisconfirmingevidence,and

questioningourassumptions.

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Andjustasexperiencecanleadtoafalsesenseofconfidenceaboutourperformance,itcanalso

makeusoverconfidentaboutourlevelofself-knowledge.Forexample,onestudyfoundthatmore-

experiencedmanagerswerelessaccurateinassessingtheirleadershipeffectivenesscompared with

lessexperiencedmanagers.

Similarly,themorepoweraleaderholds,themorelikelytheyaretooverestimatetheirskillsand

abilities.Onestudyofmorethan3,600leadersacrossavarietyofrolesandindustriesfoundthat,

relativetolower-levelleaders,higher-levelleadersmoresignificantlyovervaluedtheirskills

(compared withothers’perceptions).Infact,thispatternexistedfor19outofthe20competencies

theresearchersmeasured,includingemotionalself-awareness,accurateself-assessment,empathy,

trustworthiness,andleadershipperformance.

Researchershaveproposedtwoprimaryexplanationsforthisphenomenon.First,byvirtueoftheir

level,seniorleaderssimplyhavefewerpeopleabovethemwhocanprovidecandidfeedback.

Second,themorepoweraleaderwields,thelesscomfortablepeoplewillbetogivethem

constructivefeedback,forfearitwillhurttheircareers.Businessprofessor JamesO’Toolehasadded

that,asone’spowergrows,one’swillingnesstolistenshrinks,eitherbecausetheythinktheyknow

morethantheiremployeesor becauseseekingfeedbackwillcomeatacost.

Butthisdoesn’thavetobethecase.Oneanalysisshowedthatthemostsuccessfulleaders,asrated

by360-degreereviewsofleadershipeffectiveness,counteractthistendencybyseekingfrequent

criticalfeedback(frombosses,peers,employees,theirboard,andsoon).Theybecomemoreself-

awareintheprocessandcometobeseenasmoreeffectivebyothers.

Likewise,inourinterviews,wefoundthatpeoplewhoimprovedtheirexternalself-awarenessdid

sobyseekingoutfeedbackfromlovingcritics —thatis,peoplewhohavetheirbestinterestsinmind

andarewillingtotellthemthetruth.Toensuretheydon’toverreactorovercorrectbasedonone

person’sopinion,theyalsogut-checkdifficultorsurprisingfeedbackwithothers.

Eventhoughmostpeoplebelievetheyareself-aware,only10-15%ofthepeoplewestudiedactuallyfitthecriteria.

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#3:IntrospectionDoesn’tAlwaysImproveSelf-AwarenessItisalsowidelyassumedthatintrospection—examiningthecausesofourownthoughts,feelings,

andbehaviors—improvesself-awareness.Afterall,whatbetterwaytoknowourselvesthanby

reflectingonwhywearethewayweare?

Yetoneofthemostsurprisingfindingsofourresearchisthatpeoplewhointrospectarelessself-

awareandreportworsejobsatisfactionandwell-being.Otherresearchhasshownsimilarpatterns.

Theproblemwithintrospectionisn’tthatitiscategoricallyineffective—it’sthatmostpeopleare

doingitincorrectly.Tounderstandthis,let’slookatarguablythemostcommonintrospective

question:“Why?”Weaskthiswhentryingtounderstandouremotions(WhydoIlikeemployeeAso

muchmorethanemployeeB?),orourbehavior(WhydidIflyoffthehandlewiththatemployee?),or

ourattitudes(WhyamIsoagainstthisdeal?).

Asitturnsout,“why”isasurprisinglyineffectiveself-awarenessquestion.Researchhasshownthat

wesimplydonothaveaccesstomanyoftheunconsciousthoughts,feelings,andmotiveswe’re

searchingfor.Andbecausesomuchistrappedoutsideofourconsciousawareness,wetendto

inventanswersthatfeeltruebutareoftenwrong.Forexample,afteranuncharacteristicoutburstat

anemployee,anewmanagermayjumptotheconclusionthatithappenedbecausesheisn’tcutout

formanagement,whentherealreasonwasabadcaseoflowbloodsugar.

Consequently,theproblemwithaskingwhyisn’tjusthowwrongweare,buthowconfidentweare

thatweareright.Thehumanmindrarelyoperatesinarationalfashion,andourjudgmentsare

seldomfreefrombias.Wetendtopounceonwhatever“insights”wefindwithoutquestioningtheir

validityorvalue,weignorecontradictoryevidence,andweforceourthoughtstoconformtoour

initialexplanations.

Theproblemwithintrospectionisn’tthatitisineffective—it’sthatmostpeoplearedoingitincorrectly.

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Anothernegativeconsequenceofaskingwhy —especiallywhentryingtoexplainanundesired

outcome—isthatitinvitesunproductivenegativethoughts.Inourresearch,we’vefoundthat

peoplewhoareveryintrospectivearealsomorelikelytogetcaughtinruminativepatterns.For

example,ifanemployeewhoreceivesabadperformancereviewasks WhydidIgetsuchabad

rating?, they’relikelytolandonanexplanationfocusedon theirfears,shortcomings,orinsecurities,

ratherthanarationalassessmentof theirstrengthsandweaknesses.(Forthisreason,frequentself-

analyzersaremoredepressed and anxious andexperiencepoorerwell-being.)

Soifwhyisn’ttherightintrospectivequestion,isthereabetterone?Myresearchteamscoured

hundredsofpagesofinterviewtranscriptswithhighlyself-awarepeopletoseeiftheyapproached

introspectiondifferently.Indeed,therewasaclearpattern:Althoughtheword“why”

appeared fewerthan150times,theword“what”appearedmorethan1,000times.

Therefore,toincreaseproductiveself-insightanddecreaseunproductiverumination,weshouldask

what,notwhy.“What”questionshelpusstayobjective,future-focused,andempoweredtoacton

ournewinsights.

Forexample,considerJose,anentertainmentindustryveteranweinterviewed,whohatedhisjob.

Wheremanywouldhavegottenstuckthinking“WhydoIfeelsoterrible?,”heasked,“Whatarethe

situationsthatmakemefeelterrible,andwhatdotheyhaveincommon?”Herealizedthathe’d

neverbehappyinthatcareer,anditgavehimthecouragetopursueanewandfarmore

fulfilling oneinwealthmanagement.

Similarly,Robin,acustomerserviceleaderwhowasnewtoherjob,neededtounderstandapieceof

negativefeedbackshe’dgottenfromanemployee.Insteadofasking“Whydidyousaythisabout

me?,”Robininquired,“WhatarethestepsIneedtotakeinthefuturetodoabetterjob?”Thishelped

themmovetosolutionsratherthanfocusingontheunproductivepatternsofthepast.

Self-awarenessisn’tonetruth.It’sadelicatebalanceoftwodistinct,evencompeting,viewpoints.

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AfinalcaseisPaul,whotoldusaboutlearningthatthebusinesshe’drecentlypurchasedwasno

longerprofitable.Atfirst,allhecould askhimself was“Whywasn’tIabletoturnthingsaround?”

Buthequicklyrealizedthathedidn’thavethetimeorenergytobeathimselfup—hehadtofigure

outwhattodonext.Hestartedasking,“WhatdoIneedtodotomoveforwardinawaythat

minimizestheimpacttoourcustomersandemployees?”Hecreatedaplan,andwasabletofind

creativewaystodoasmuchgoodforothersaspossiblewhilewindingdownthebusiness.Whenall

thatwasover,hechallengedhimselftoarticulatewhathelearnedfromtheexperience—his

answer bothhelpedhimavoidsimilarmistakesinthefutureandhelpedotherslearnfromthem,

too.

Thesequalitativefindingshavebeen bolsteredbyothers’quantitativeresearch.Inonestudy,

psychologistsJ.GregoryHixonandWilliamSwanngaveagroupofundergraduatesnegative

feedbackonatestoftheir“sociability,likabilityandinterestingness.”Someweregiventimetothink

aboutwhytheywerethekindofpersontheywere,whileotherswereaskedtothinkaboutwhatkind

ofpersontheywere.Whentheresearchershadthemevaluatetheaccuracyofthefeedback,the

“why”studentsspenttheirenergyrationalizinganddenyingwhatthey’dlearned, andthe“what”

studentsweremoreopentothisnewinformationandhowtheymightlearnfromit.Hixonand

Swann’sratherboldconclusionwasthat“Thinkingaboutwhyoneisthewayoneismaybenobetter

thannotthinkingaboutone’sselfatall.”

Allofthisbringsustoconclude:Leaderswhofocusonbuildingbothinternalandexternalself-

awareness,whoseekhonestfeedbackfromlovingcritics,andwhoaskwhatinsteadofwhycanlearn

toseethemselvesmoreclearly—andreapthemanyrewardsthatincreasedself-knowledgedelivers.

Andnomatterhowmuchprogresswemake,there’salwaysmoretolearn.That’soneofthethings

thatmakesthejourneytoself-awarenesssoexciting.

TashaEurich,PhD,isanorganizationalpsychologist,researcher,andNewYorkTimesbestsellingauthor.Sheisthe

principalofTheEurichGroup,aboutiqueexecutivedevelopmentfirmthathelpscompanies—fromstart-upstotheFortune

100—succeedbyimprovingtheeffectivenessoftheirleadersandteams.Hernewestbook,Insight,delvesintothe

connectionbetweenself-awarenessandsuccessintheworkplace.

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RelatedTopics: Psychology | EmotionalIntelligence

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