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Improving Business Writing
Writing Workshop Series: Editing Skills
November 13, 2015 Rachael Walker
Outline
Review
Editing language
Editing mechanics
Exercise
Outline
Review
Editing language
Editing mechanics
Exercise
Writing Process
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
Overview of the Editing Process
The five cardinal c's of editing
The five cardinal c's of editing
1) Correctness
Overview of the Editing Process
The five cardinal c's of editing
1) Correctness
2) Consistency
Overview of the Editing Process
The five cardinal c's of editing
1) Correctness
2) Consistency
3) Clarity
Overview of the Editing Process
The five cardinal c's of editing
1) Correctness
2) Consistency
3) Clarity
4) Comprehensiveness
Overview of the Editing Process
The five cardinal c's of editing
1) Correctness
2) Consistency
3) Clarity
4) Comprehensiveness
5) Conciseness
Overview of the Editing Process
Language Editing
Grammar
Word usage
Diction
Language Editing
Grammar
Word usage
Diction
Correct
Concise
Precise
Appropriate
Language Editing
Consistency of terminology
Personnel Administration
Human Resources Management
Personnel Management
Staffing Administration
Content Editing
Correctness of content
Identify any missing information
The Editing Process
Writing Process
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
3) Edit mechanics
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
The Editing Process
Tips:Take a break before you
edit
Change it to a strange font
Read quickly and make short notes first
Don't forget to run spell check!
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
3) Edit mechanics
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
Editing Structure
Details
A-HA!
Writing in most languages Writing in English
Details
Editing Structure
Paragraphs
Bullet points
Structure at large
Writing in English
Details
Editing Structure
Clarity
Clear and direct conclusion
Well supported
Constructive, practical follow-up
Writing in English
Details
Editing Structure
Perspective
Balance of positives and negatives
Portray significance
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
How not to have to Edit Structure
How not to have to Edit Structure
1) Identify main ideas and conclusions
1) Identify main ideas and conclusions
2) Organize your smaller and supporting thoughts under these points
How not to have to Edit Structure
1) Identify main ideas and conclusions
2) Organize your smaller and supporting thoughts under these points
3) Identify missing information
How not to have to Edit Structure
Writing
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
Writing
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
Just Write
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
3) Edit mechanics
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
The Editing Process
Outline
Review
Editing language
Editing mechanics
Exercise
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
3) Edit mechanics
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
3) Edit mechanics
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
3) Edit mechanics
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
Appropriateness
Grammar
Precision
Brevity
Editing Language
1) Appropriate language
Editing Language
1) Appropriate language
Gender neutral Chairman Chair person
Delete unnecessary pronounsThe director … she manages The director manages
Editing Language
1) Appropriate language
Gender neutral Chairman Chair person
Delete unnecessary pronounsThe director … she manages The director manages
Use plural pronouns Each manager and his staff The managers and their staff
Editing Language
1) Appropriate language
Gender neutral Chairman Chair person
Delete unnecessary pronounsThe director … she manages The director manages
Use plural pronouns Each manager and his staff The managers and their staff
Use both pronounsEach manager and his staff Each manager and his / her staff
Editing Language
1) Appropriate language
Audience
Editing Language
1) Appropriate language
AudienceBoard committeeExternal stakeholdersExecutivesSenior staffStaff
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Example 1: (time indicators and tenses)The software has been operational for three months.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Example 1: (time indicators and tenses)The software has been operational for three months.The software has been operational since March.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Example 1: (time indicators and tenses)The software has been operational for three months.The software has been operational since March.The software was implemented three months ago.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Example 2: (conditional, future, and subjunctive)
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Example: (conditional, future, and subjunctive)If it is implemented, there will be major improvements.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Example: (conditional, future, and subjunctive)If it is implemented, there will be major improvements.If it were implemented, there would be major improvements.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Example: (conditional, future, and subjunctive)If it is implemented, there will be major improvements.If it were implemented, there would be major improvementsIf it had been implemented, there would have been major
improvements.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Know thyself
Pay attention to common grammar pitfalls
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Avoid passive
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Avoid passive
Example: Incompatible functions were noted by Management.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Avoid passive
Example: Incompatible functions were noted by Management.Management noted incompatible functions.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Aim for “subject – verb – object” construction
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Aim for “subject – verb – object” construction
Example: Based on the available information, irregularities were not found.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Aim for “subject – verb – object” construction
Example: Based on the available information, irregularities were not found.Based on the available information, the team did not find
irregularities.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Begin sentences with nouns when possible
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Begin sentences with nouns when possible
Example: Based on the available information, the team did not find
irregularities.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Begin sentences with nouns when possible
Example: Based on the available information, the team did not find
irregularities.Based on the available information, The team did not find
irregularities.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Use positive verbs
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Use positive verbs
Example: The team did not find irregularities.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Use positive verbs
Example: The team did not find irregularities.The team found no irregularities.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Lead with the most important verb
Example: Staff must aim to improve performance.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Lead with the most important verb
Example: Staff must aim to improve performance.Staff must aim to improve performance.
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Break up noun strings
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Break up noun strings
Example 1: ABC University English Department
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Break up noun pyramids
Example 1: ABC University English DepartmentThe English Department at ABC University
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Break up noun pyramids
Example 1: ABC University English DepartmentThe English Department at ABC University
Example 2: Department's budgeted sabbatical monies
Editing Language
2) Grammar
Break up noun pyramids
Example 1: ABC University English DepartmentThe English Department at ABC University
Example 2: Department's budgeted sabbatical moniesMonies budgeted by the department for sabbaticals
Editing Language
3) Precision
Editing Language
3) Precision
Terms
Editing Language
3) Precision
Terms
Editing Language
3) Precision
Terms
Human Resources
Editing Language
3) Precision
Verbs
Editing Language
3) Precision
Verbs
Use power verbs
Editing Language
3) Precision
Verbs
Use power verbs
Use the following sparingly:
Editing Language
3) Precision
Verbs
Use power verbs
Use the following sparingly:
do, make, go, come, get, take, bring
Editing Language
3) Precision
Verbs
Use power verbs
Use the following sparingly:
do, make, go, come, get, take, bring
Example: The manager gets the documents ready
Editing Language
3) Precision
Verbs
Use power verbs
Use the following sparingly:
do, make, go, come, get, take, bring
Example: The manager gets the documents ready.The manager prepares the documents.
Editing Language
3) Precision
Verbs
Avoid phrasal verbs
Editing Language
3) Precision
Pronouns and articles
Things
There
Some
There are
Editing Language
3) Precision Adverbs and intensifiers
Very Clearly Significant
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Adverbs
Do you really need the adverb?
Is it absolutely necessary to convey meaning?
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Restrictive clauses (who, which)
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Restrictive clauses (who, which)
Can you find an adjective?
Example: Employees who have been terminated
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Restrictive clauses (who, which)
Can you find an adjective?
Example: Employees who have been terminated
Terminated employees
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Nominalization
Use the verb where possible
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Nominalization
Use the verb where possible Example:
The stations allow for improved time tracking.
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Nominalization
Use the verb where possible Example:
The stations allow for improved time tracking.The stations allow for improved time tracking
4) Brevity
Use short sentences
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Use short sentences
Limit 15 – 18 words per sentence
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Use short sentences
Limit 15 – 18 words per sentence
Example:
“The roles, responsibilities, and accountability mechanisms of managers and staffing officers are clearly defined in the departmental training course on sub-delegation, which was given to all managers about to receive sub-delegated staffing authority.” (33 words)
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Use short sentences
Limit 15 – 18 words per sentence
Example:
“The roles, responsibilities, and accountability mechanisms of managers and staffing officers are clearly defined in the departmental training course on sub-delegation, which was given to all managers about to receive sub-delegated staffing authority.” (33 words)
“All managers who were to receive sub-delegated authority attended the departmental staffing course. The course defines the roles, responsibilities and accountability of managers and staffing officers.” (13 words in each)
Editing Language
4) Brevity
Use short sentences
Limit 15 – 18 words per sentence
This is especially important when considering the main idea
Editing Language
The Editing Process
1) Edit structure
2) Edit language
3) Edit mechanics
Step 1: Gather info
Step 2: Procrastinate
Step 3: Freak out
Step 4: Organize
Step 5: Flesh out
Step 6: Tweak
Step 7: Beautify
Outline
Review
Editing language
Editing mechanics
Exercise
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical correctness
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical correctness
Consistency
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical correctness
Consistency
Clarity
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical correctness
Consistency
Clarity
Format
Editing Mechanics
Keep a style sheet for consistency
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Question marks
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Question marks
Direct question: use a question mark
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Question marks
Direct question: use a question mark
Should we fund the project?
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Question marks
Direct question: use a question mark
Should we fund the project?The topic was, should the project be funded?
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Question marks
Indirect question: do not use a question mark
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Question marks
Indirect question: do not use a question mark
The question is whether to fund the project.
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Question marks
Indirect question: do not use a question mark
The question is whether to fund the project.Employees asked why the project was funded.
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Parenthesis
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Parenthesis
If they contain a complete sentence:
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Parenthesis
If they contain a complete sentence:(Absences go undetected.)
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Parenthesis
If they contain a complete sentence:(Absences go undetected.)
If they are part of a larger sentence:
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical pitfalls
Parenthesis
If they contain a complete sentence:(Absences go undetected.)
If they are part of a larger sentence:Important trends go undetected (ie absences, late arrivals, etc.).
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical Pitfalls
Commas
Editing Mechanics
Mechanical Pitfalls
Commas
Just be consistent
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
The Oxford comma
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
The British quotes
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
The British quotes
Example: To search for “King,” not “king,” be sure to check the case-
sensitive option and type “king.”
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
The British quotes
Example: To search for “King,” not “king,” be sure to check the case-
sensitive option and type “king.”
To search for “King”, not “king”, be sure to check the case-sensitive option and type “king”.
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
Add commas after short phrases
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
Add commas after short phrases
Example: In all cases decreased by 37% last year.
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
Add commas after short phrases
Example: In all cases decreased by 37% last year.In all, cases decreased by 37% last year.
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
Use hyphens with modifiers
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
Use hyphens with modifiers
Example:Employees completed the hard core training exercise
Editing Mechanics
Use punctuation for clarity
Use hyphens with modifiers
Example:Employees completed the hard core training exerciseEmployees completed the hard core-training exercise.
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