How To Be A Bitch But In A Good Way. [HOW TO ASK & RESPOND TO THE HARD QUESTIONS WITHOUT BEING INTIMIDATED]

[如何提出和回答难题而不被吓倒]

CONTROVERSY AHEAD

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WOMEN REPRESENT ONLY 20% OF SENIOR POSITIONS IN COMPANIES ON A GLOBAL BASIS.

DESPITE THERE BEING AN ALMOST 50:50 SPLIT BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN WORKING IN ADVERTISING, ONLY 22.4% OF WOMEN HOLD SENIOR POSITIONS IN ADVERTISING AGENCIES.

OF ALL THE CREATIVE DIRECTORS IN THE WORLD, APPROX 3% ARE WOMEN.

GRANT THORNTON INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS REPORT 2011 & THE IPA INDUSTRY REPORT 2011

全球只有20％的公司高层是女性.

尽管在广告业男女比例是50:50, 只有22.4%的女性占据着高层职位.

全球只有3％的创意总监是女性.

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THREE THINGS I’VE NOTICED IN MY TIME IN ASIA [我在亚洲的三个发现]

#1 CLIENTS VALUE QUANTITY MORE THAN QUALITY.

#2 CLIENTS ARE EMPOWERED TO SAY NO MORE THAN YES.

#3 CLIENTS DON’T LIKE BEING CHALLENGED.

#1 相比质量，客户更看重数量.

#2 客户更倾向于否定而非肯定.

#3 客户不喜欢被挑战.

QUESTIONS GIVE YOU THE POWER TO CHANGE EVERY OUTCOME. 提问给你改变全局的力量.

THE FEAR EFFECT

恐惧效应

SCENARIO #1 YOU ARE IN A MEETING WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE YOU REGARD AS VERY CLEVER. WHEN YOU EVALUATE YOUR CAPABILITIES [OR KNOWLEDGE] AGAINST THERE’S, YOU DECIDE YOU ARE ‘VERY POOR’.  BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU SPEND THE WHOLE MEETING AS QUIET AS A CHURCH MOUSE IN ORDER TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM

LOOKING FOOLISH.

情景 #1 你在和一群你认为非常聪明的人一起开会. 当你把自己的能力（或知识）与他们相比时，你认定自己 “很差”. 因为如此，为了避免自己看上去蠢你整个会议都保持安静.

SCENARIO #2 YOU ARE IN A MEETING WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE YOU REGARD AS VERY CLEVER. YOU HAVE A QUESTION BUT YOU ARE SO NERVOUS YOU SPEND AGES GOING OVER IT IN YOUR HEAD TRYING TO SECOND-GUESS WHETHER IT IS A STUPID THING TO ASK. BY THE TIME YOU COME TO THE DECISION IT IS VALID, THE OPPORTUNITY HAS EITHER GONE OR SOMEONE ELSE HAS ASKED THE QUESTION.

情景#2 你在和一群你认为非常聪明的人一起开会. 你脑中有个问题但你徘徊了很久一再确认是否问这个问题会很蠢. 当你最终确定你可以问这个问题时，要么时机已过要么其他人已经把这个问题问了.

SCENARIO #3 YOU FIND YOURSELF SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO ALL SEEM TO KNOW EACH OTHER VERY, VERY WELL. EVERYONE EXCEPT YOU, SEEMS TO SHARE THE SAME VIEWPOINT BUT YOU KEEP QUIET BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO LOOK FOOLISH AND THINK YOU MUST BE WRONG BECAUSE OTHERWISE SOMEONE ELSE WOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING.

情景 #3

你发现你身处一个环境好像他们中的每个人互相都很熟. 除了你，其他人的意见似乎都很一致。但你保持缄默因为你不想看上去很蠢。同时，你认为你自己一定是错了，不然其他人一定会指出.

SCENARIO #4 YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRESENT TO A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO ARE RENOWNED FOR BEING ‘TOUGH’. YOU THINK OF HOW THEY COULD REACT TO WHAT YOU SAY AND DECIDE ITS BETTER TO LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE OVER.

情景 #4 你有幸向一群出了名“难搞”的人做陈述. 你一想到他们可能对你的话给出的反应就决定把这个机会让给其他人.

SCENARIO #5 YOU ARE IN A MEETING WHERE EVERYONE IS SPEAKING IN A LANGUAGE THAT ISN’T YOUR PREFERRED CHOICE. BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU FIND IT HARD TO KEEP UP WITH WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING. AFTER A WHILE, YOU REALISE THE PEOPLE HAVE MADE A DECISION YOU DON’T AGREE WITH BUT FEEL IT’S TOO LATE TO BRING IT UP BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOU’RE SLOW TO GRASP WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN THE MEETING.

情景 #5 你在和一群说着你不熟悉的语言的人一起开会. 正因如此，你发现很难抓住他们在说什么. 过了一会儿，你发现他们做出了一个你所不同意的决定。但你会觉得否决的时机已过因为你不想让人觉得你对会议内容消化得很慢.

Five Ways To Take Control: 1. THE “EGO MASSAGE” QUESTION “按摩自尊”型问题 2. THE “NUDGE IT ALONG” QUESTION “顺水推舟”型问题 3. THE “PERSONAL EXPERIENCE” QUESTION “个人经验”型问题 4. THE “INNOCENT CURIOSITY” QUESTION “无知好奇”型问题 5. THE “SELF DEPRECIATION” QUESTION “个人贬低”型问题

[取得控制的五个方法]

1. The “Ego Massage” Question PEOPLE LIKE TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES. PEOPLE LIKE TO FEEL KNOWLEDGABLE AND IMPORTANT. SO WHEN YOU WANT TO CHALLENGE A CLIENT ON SOMETHING THEY’VE SAID, START OFF YOUR QUESTION WITH …  “IN YOUR EXPERIENCE” OR “WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE IN THIS FIELD” OR “IN YOUR OPINION”   … AND THEN ASK THE QUESTION YOU REALLY WANT TO ASK. DOING THIS NOT ONLY HELPS THEM FEEL YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THEIR OPINION, BUT BECAUSE THE QUESTION IS INQUISITIVE IN NATURE – RATHER THAN CHALLENGING – IT COMES OVER AS MORE CONVERSATIONAL AND NOT CONFRONTATIONAL.

1. “按摩自尊”型问题 人们喜欢谈论和自己相关的事. 人们喜欢感到知识渊博和重要. 所以，当你想要对某个客户所说的观点提出异议时，可以从以下问题问起 … “从你的经验看来”或“从你在这方面的知识看来”或“从你的观点看来 … 然后问他们你真实想问的问题 这样不仅显得你对他们的意见感兴趣，也因为问题本身源自于被提问人 － 而不是去挑战提问人 － 使得问题多了谈话性而不是对抗性.

NO ONE WANTS TO BE TOLD THEY’RE WRONG SO IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A MEETING AND SOMEONE HAS MADE A STATEMENT YOU DISAGREE WITH, PRE-PHRASE YOUR RESPONSE WITH … “THAT’S REALLY INTERESTING, I HAVE A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE/VIEW … ” IT MIGHT NOT SEEM MUCH, BUT BY DOING THIS, YOU ARE NOT SEEN AS CHALLENGING THEIR VIEW, SIMPLY BUILDING ON IT – KEEPING THE WHOLE MEETING CALM, COOL AND FREE-FLOWING. OBVIOUSLY YOU SHOULD TALK FROM A POSITION OF KNOWLEDGE OR REFERENCE WHICH IS WHY IT’S ALWAYS GOOD TO PRE-PREPARE FOR ANY MEETING. THE BEST WAY TO DO THIS IS THINK ABOUT THE PURPOSE OF THE MEETING [IS IT TO SELL AN IDEA, PRESENT SOME FINDINGS, TAKE

A BRIEF?] AND SPEND 20 MINUTES THE DAY BEFORE THINKING ABOUT CASE STUDIES OR EXPERIENCES THAT MIGHT BE RELEVANT. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT MIGHT COME IN HANDY.

2. The “Nudge It Along” Question

没人想被人告知自己是错的。当你在会中与某人意见相左时，记得先用以下语句开头 … “你说的真的很有趣，我有一点小小的不同经验／意见 …” 看上去很小一个举动，但这样做你就不会被认为是在挑战他们的观点，而是在他们的观点上展开你的观点，这样可以让整个会议保持冷静和流畅. 当然，你要从某一个立场或参考展开你的话语，这就是为什么在任何会议前充足的准备是必须的. 最好的方法是想一想本次会议的目的（是出售一个idea，提出一些新发现，还是进行brief?)并在会议前一天花上20分钟思考一些相关案例或经验. 当你需要的时候就会知道这样做非常有用.

2. “顺水推舟”型问题

WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OR CIRCUMSTANCES, PEOPLE LISTEN IN A DIFFERENT WAY SO WHEN YOU ARE IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU ‘FEEL’ SOMETHING IS WRONG BUT YOU DON’T HAVE ANY CASE STUDIES OR EXAMPLES TO BACK YOUR VIEW UP, RELATE YOUR QUESTION TO SOMETHING YOU ARE DEEPLY FAMILIAR WITH. I OFTEN TALK ABOUT STORIES INVOLVING MY PARENTS TO EXPLAIN A PARTICULAR FEELING/ATTITUDE OR OPINION. DOING THIS NOT ONLY HELP OTHERS UNDERSTAND/RELATE TO THE QUESTION YOU ARE RAISING, BUT YOU CAN SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE AND WARMTH BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING YOU KNOW IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

3. The “Personal Experience” Question

当人们听到某些个人经验时，他们会以换一种方式倾听. 所以当你身处一个你觉得“不太对”的情形下，却又找不出任何案例来支撑你的观点时，把你的问题和某些你非常熟悉的事物联系起来. 我经常会说到有关我父母的故事来解释某个特定的感觉／态度／观点. 这么做不但能帮助其他人理解／联系到你所提出的问题，也让你能以温暖又自信的口气叙述，因为你能确定这些事是真的.

3. “个人经验”型问题

PEOPLE OFTEN GIVE OPINIONS WITHOUT REALLY THINKNG ABOUT THEM. WHEN SOMEONE SENIOR DISAGREES WITH SOMETHING YOU FEEL VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT, SAY… “SO I CAN LEARN, CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE MY IDEA DOESN’T WORK AS WELL AS YOURS” BY DOING THIS, YOU ARE FORCING THEM TO THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY’VE SAID IN MORE DETAIL AND THIS OFTEN RESULTS IN THEM DISCOVERING YOUR IDEA IS JUST AS GOOD AS THEIRS AND SUDDENLY THE SITUATION HAS GONE FROM OBSTACLES TO ENCOURAGEMENT. [A VERY NAUGHTY WAY TO MAKE PEOPLE BACK DOWN – OR CHANGE THEIR VIEW – IS TO LITERALLY REPEAT BACK THE QUESTION THEY’VE SAID, BUT IN A SLOW, QUESTIONING VOICE AND THEN KEEP QUIET. 99% OF THE TIME, THEY WILL REPHRASE WHAT THEY HAVE SAID AND PUT YOU IN A POSITION OF CONTROL]

4. The “Innocent Curiosity” Question

人们总是会给些不知所谓的意见. 当某些高层级的人否认了你很热衷的点子，你可以说 … “你能否告诉我我的点子在哪些地方不如你的点子，这样我就能进步了” 这样做，你就逼得他们去重新仔细思考自己之前说过的话，也能让他们发现原来你的想法和他们的一样棒。你会发现突然间情况从设置障碍变成鼓励. [一个让他人改变自己看法或收回一个命令的方法是重复他们刚才说的话，但以一种非常慢的，带有疑问含义的语气，然后保持安静。99％的情况下，他们会重新组织话语并使你因此获得控制权]

4. “无知好奇”型问题

SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO ASK A QUESTION BUT AREN’T SURE IF YOU’LL LOOK GOOD OR SILLY. RATHER THAN KEEP QUIET, CELEBRATE YOUR CONCERN BY STARTING OFF YOUR QUESTION WITH SOMETHING LIKE… “THIS MIGHT BE A SILLY QUESTION BUT …” BY DOING THIS, YOU AUTOMATICALLY DISARM ANY POSSIBLE NEGATIVE COMMENT BECAUSE YOU’VE IMPLIED YOUR REASON FOR ASKING A QUESTION IS MORE OUT OF CURIOSITY THAN JUDGEMENT. THIS METHOD IS ESPECIALLY USEFUL FOR PEOPLE WHO ATTEND MEETINGS WHERE CONVERSATIONS ARE NOT IN THEIR NATIVE LANGUAGE AND MAY WORRY THEY HAVE MISSED OUT ON IMPORTANT INFORMATION. BY STARTING YOUR QUESTION WITH “BECAUSE ENGLISH ISN’T MY NATIVE LANGUAGE, CAN I JUST MAKE SURE I HAVE UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU’VE SAID” YOU CAN GET CLARIFICATION OF WHAT HAS BEEN DISCUSSED ANY NEGATIVE IMPLICATION.

5. The “Self Depreciation” Question

有时你想问一个问题，但你不清楚问好还是不问好. 遇到这种时刻，不要保持安静，你可以这样开始你的问题 … “这个问题也许很蠢，但是 …” 这样做你自动地就排除了任何可能地负面评论，因为你已经暗示你的问题是出于好奇而不是评判. 这个方法在人们参与一些非母语的会议时担心自己错过了一些重要信息的情况下尤其有效. 、用“由于英文不是我的母语，我只是想确认我是否理解了你刚才所说的”开头，你可以澄清自己而不至于陷入任何负面暗示.

5. “自我贬低”型问题

Quick Challenge: WHICH QUESTION WOULD YOU USE TO MANAGE EACH SCENARIO

快速挑战： 你会用哪种方法应对以下情形

SCENARIO #1 A BUNCH OF SENIOR PEOPLE ARE SAYING “WOMEN ONLY BUY PINK COMPUTERS”. YOU DISAGREE. HOW WOULD YOU TELL THEM THEY’RE WRONG?

情景 #1 一群高层认识说“女人只会买粉红色电脑.” 你不同意. 你会怎样说来告诉他们是错的?

SCENARIO #2 A BUNCH OF CLIENTS WANT TO INCREASE SALES BY 100% BUT ONLY WANT TO SPEND 50% OF THEIR NORMAL BUDGET. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND THEY’RE MAD?

情景 #2 一群客户想要增加100％的销售额，但只想花平时一半的预算. 你会怎样说让他们明白他们是疯了？

SCENARIO #3 YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN HOW PATRIOTIC CHINESE YOUTH ARE TOWARDS THEIR COUNTRY BUT HAVE NO FACTS, PICTURES OR FIGURES. HOW WOULD YOU LET PEOPLE UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT OF VIEW?

情景 #3 你想要解释中国年轻人是非常爱国的，但没有事实，图片或数据做支撑. 你会怎样让人们理解你的看法？

SCENARIO #4 YOU THINK THE CLIENT WANTS SOME SCRIPTS PRESENTED IN 24 HOURS, HOW DO YOU: 1/ CONFIRM THAT INFORMATION. 2/ TELL THEM THEY’RE WRONG.

情景 #4 你认为客户需要在24小时内拿到一些脚本，你会怎么做： 1/ 确认这个信息. 2/ 告诉他们这是不对的.

Three Things To Give You The Confidence To Try: IF YOU ARE WANT TO ASK A QUESTION BUT YOU AREN’T SURE IF IT’S RELEVANT OR NOT – YOU HAVE 3 CHOICES … [A] ASK THE QUESTION AND ACCEPT YOU’LL FIND OUT WHETHER IT IS RIGHT OR WRONG ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. [B] ASK YOURSELF IF THERE IS COMMON SENSE BEHIND YOUR QUESTION: DOES IT RELATE TO THE CONVERSATION / THE CATEGORY / THE BUSINESS / THE TASK? IF IT DOES, ASK IT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE WRONG IF THERE IS REASON BEHIND WHAT YOU’RE ASKING. [C] WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, RELOOK AT IT LATER, MAKE SURE IT ASKS/SAY’S WHAT YOU WANT IT TO SAY AND THEN ASK IT AT A LATER MEETING OR VIA EMAIL.

让你有自信去尝试的三个方法： 如果你想要问一个你不确定是否相关的问题，你有三个选择 … [A] 问出这个问题，你就会立刻知道这个问题是正确的还是错的. [B]问你自己在你的问题背后有没有一些常识：这个问题是否与本次谈话／品类／生意／任务相关？如果是，就问出来，因为如果你问的背后有原因，这个问题不会是错的. [C] 写下那些你想说的，回过头再看，确定这是你想说／问的，在之后的会议上问或者通过邮件问.

Check List / Confidence Boost: IT IS VERY, VERY, VERY HARD TO BE TOTALLY WRONG IN ADVERTISING. THERE ARE LITERALLY TONS AND TONS AND TONS OF RIGHT WAYS TO APPROACH A TASK AND FOR EVERY EXAMPLE THAT SAYS IT’S THE ‘RIGHT WAY’, THERE WILL BE ANOTHER EXAMPLE THAT ALSO WAS SUCCESSFUL THAT FOLLOWED A TOTALLY DIFFERENT ROUTE. IT’S WORTH REMEMBERING PEOPLE WHO’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS CAN - AND DO - CONTINUALLY FUCK-UP.

下面这些话用来增强你的自信：

在广告业，要完全地错事很难很难很难的. 完成一个任务有许多许多许多种正确的方法。每一种用“正确的方法”达成的例子身边都有另一种用完全不同的方法达成的成功案例. 也要记住那些在业内很多年的人也可以做出完全不靠谱的事来.

Some Other Tips: •  SMILE •  SPEAK FIRMLY •  SPEAK LOUDLY •  SIT UP STRAIGHT •  TRY AND LOOK RELAXED •  DO PRE-MEETING HOMEWORK

[BAIDU/GOOGLE TOPICS YOU THINK WILL BE COVERED]

•  GET INVOLVED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE •  FIND OUT ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU’RE MEETING

[BAIDU/GOOGLE THE PEOPLE YOU’RE MEETING & USE LINKED IN]

•  WALK IN AND SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE IN THE ROOM •  REMEMBER NOTHING NEW HAPPENS IF YOU DON’T CHALLENGE THE USUAL •  REMEMBER, BEING INVOLVED IN THE DISCUSSION IS BETTER THAN JUST WATCHING THE DISCUSSION

另一些小窍门： •  微笑 •  用肯定地语气说话 •  说大声点 •  坐直了 •  看上去放松 •  开会前做点作业[你可能会用到地BAIDU/GOOGLE 上的话题] •  越快参与进谈话越好 •  了解你要与之开会的那些人[BAIDU/GOOGLE 那些人以及使用linkedin] •  走进房间时与房间内的每个人说hello •  记住如果你不挑战通常做法就不会有新鲜的事情发生 •  记住参与到讨论中比观看讨论要好的多

INFLUENCE & CONTROL THE THREE RULES TO REMEMBER

1 PREPARE / 2 EXPERIMENT / 3 LEARN

影响 & 控制: 记住三条准则

准备 实施 学习