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17

Where Am I?

Now that I've won my suit under the Freedom of Information Act,I am at liberty to reveal for the first time a curious episode in my lifethat may be of interest not only to those engaged in research in thephilosophy of mind, artificial intelligence and neuroscience but also tothe general public.

Several years ago I was approached by Pentagon officials who askedme to volunteer for a highly dangerous and secret mission. In collab-oration with NASA and Howard Hughes, the Department of Defensewas spending billions to develop a Supersonic Tunneling UndergroundDevice, or STUD. It was supposed to tunnel through the earth's coreat great speed and deliver a specially designed atomic warhead "rightup the Red's missile silos," as one of the Pentagon brass put it.

The problem was that in an early test they had succeeded in lodginga warhead about a mile deep under Tulsa, Oklahoma, and they wantedme to retrieve it for them. "Why me? " I asked. Well, the missioninvolved some pioneering applications of current brain research, andthey had heard of my interest in brains and of course my Faustiancuriosity and great courage and so forth. . . . Well, how could I refuse?The difficulty that brought the Pentagon to my door was that thedevice I'd been asked to recover was fiercely radioactive, in a newway. According to monitoring instruments, something about thenature of the device and its complex interactions with pockets ofmaterial deep in the earth had produced radiation that could causesevere abnormalities in certain tissues of the brain. No way had beenfound to shield the brain from these deadly rays, which were appar-

Where Am I? 311

ently harmless to other tissues and organs of the body. So it had beendecided that the person sent to recover the device should leaue hisbrain behind. It would be kept in a safe place where it could executeits normal control functions by elaborate radio links. Would I submitto a surgical procedt}re that would completely remove my brain,which would then be 'placed in a life-support system at the MannedSpacecraft Center in Houston? Each input and output pathway, as itwas severed, would be restored by a pair of microminiaturized radiotransceivers, one attached precisely to the brain, the other to thenerve stumps in the empty cranium. No information would be lost, allthe connectivity would be preserved. At first I was a bit reluctant.Would it really work? The Houston brain surgeons encouraged me."Think of it," they said, "as a mere stretching of the nerves. If yourbrain were just moved over an inch in your skull, that would not alteror impair your mind. We're simply going to make the nerves indefi-nitely elastic by splicing radio links into them."

I was shown around the life-support lab in Houston and saw thesparkling new vat in which my brain would be placed, were I to agree.I met the large and brilliant support team of neurologists, hematolo-gists, biophysicists, and electrical engineers, and after several days ofdiscussions and demonstrations, I agreed to give it a try. I was sub-jected to an enormous array of blood tests, brain scans, experiments,interviews, and the like. They took down my autobiography at greatlength, recorded tedious lists of my beliefs, hopes, fears, and tastes.They even listed my favorite stereo recordings and gave me a crashsession of psychoanalysis.

The day for surgery arrived at last and of course I was anesthetizedand remember nothing of the operation itself. When I came out ofanesthesia, I opened my eyes, looked around, and asked the inevitable,the traditional, the lamentably hackneyed post-operative question:"Where am I?" The nurse smiled down at me. "You're in Houston,"she said, and I reflected that this still had a good chance of being thetruth one way or another. She handed me a mirror. Sure enough,there were the tiny antennae poking up through their titanium portscemented into my skull.

"I gather the operation was a success," I said, "I want to go see mybrain." They led me (I was a bit dizzy and unsteady) down a longcorridor and into the life-support lab. A cheer went up from theassembled support team, and I responded with what I hoped was ajaunty salute. Still feeling lightheaded, I was helped over to the life-

Where Am I? 313312 BRAINSTORMS

support vat. I peered through the glass. There, floating in what lookedlike ginger-ale, was undeniably a human brain, though it was almostcovered with printed circuit chips, plastic tubules, electrodes, andother paraphernalia. "Is that mine?" I asked. "Hit the output trans-mitter switch there on the side of the vat and see for yourself," theproject director replied. I moved the switch to OFF, and immediatelyslumped, groggy and nauseated, into the arms of the technicians, oneof whom kindly restored the switch to its ON position. While I recov-ered my equilibrium and composure, I thought to myself: "Well, hereI am, sitting on a folding chair, staring through a piece of plate glassat my own brain. . . . But wait," I said to myself, "shouldn't I havethought, 'Here I am, suspended in a bubbling fluid, being stared at bymy own eyes'?" I tried to think this latter thought. I tried to projectit into the tank, offering it hopefully to my brain, but I failed to carryoff the exercise with any conviction. I tried again. "Here am I, DanielDennett, suspended in a bubbling fluid, being stared at by my owneyes." No, it just didn't work. Most puzzling and confusing. Being aphilosopher of firm physicalist conviction, I believed unswervinglythat the tokening of my thoughts was occurring somewhere in mybrain: yet, when I thought "Here I am," where the thought occurredto me was here, outside the vat, where I, Dennett, was standingstaring at my brain.

I tried and tried to think myself into the vat, but to no avail. Itried to build up to the task by doing mental exercises. I thought tomyself, "The sun is shining over there," five times in rapid succession,each time mentally ostending a different place: in order, the sun-litcorner of the lab, the visible front lawn of the hospital, Houston,Mars, and Jupiter. I found I had little difficulty in getting my "there's"to hop all over the celestial map with their proper references. I couldloft a "there" in an instant through the farthest reaches of space, andthen aim the next "there" with pinpoint accuracy at the upper leftquadrant of a freckle on my arm. Why was I having such trouble with"here"? "Here in Houston" worked well enough, and so did "here inthe lab," and even "here in this part of the lab," but "here in the vat"always seemed merely an unmeant mental mouthing. I tried closingmy eyes while thinking it. This seemed to help, but still I couldn'tmanage to pull it off, except perhaps for a fleeting instant. I couldn'tbe sure. The discovery that I couldn't be sure was also unsettling. Howdid I know where I meant by "here" when I thought "here"? Could Ithink I meant one place when in fact I meant another? I didn't see

how that could be admitted without untying the few bonds of inti-macy between a person and his own mental life that had survived theonslaught of the brain scientists and philosophers, the physicalists andbehaviorists. Perhaps I was incorrigible about where I meant when Isaid "here." But in my present circumstances it seemed that either Iwas doomed by sheer force of mental habit to thinking systematicallyfalse indexical thoughts, or where a person is (and hence where histhoughts are tokened for purposes of semantic analysis) is not neces-sarily where his brain, the physical seat of his soul, resides. Nagged byconfusion, I attempted to orient myself by falling back on a favoritephilosopher's ploy. I began naming things.

"Yorick," I said aloud to my brain, "you are my brain. The rest ofmy body, seated in this chair, I dub 'Hamlet.'" So here we all are:Yorick's my brain, Hamlet's my body, and I am Dennett. Now, wheream I? And when I think "where am I?" where's that thought tokened?Is it tokened in my brain, lounging about in the vat, or right herebetween my ears where it seems to be tokened? Or nowhere? Its tem-poral coordinates give me no trouble; must it not have spatial coordi-nates as well? I began making a list of the alternatives.

(1) Where Hamlet goes, there goes Dennett. This principle waseasily refuted by appeal to the familiar brain transplant thought-experiments so enjoyed by philosophers. If Tom and Dick switchbrains, Tom is the fellow with Dick's former body—just ask him; he'llclaim to be Tom, and tell you the most intimate details of Tom'sautobiography. It was clear enough, then, that my current body and Icould part company, but not likely that I could be separated from mybrain. The rule of thumb that emerged so plainly from the thoughtexperiments was that in a brain-transplant operation, one wanted tobe the donor, not the recipient. Better to call such an operation abody-transplant, in fact. So perhaps the truth was,

(2) Where Yorick goes, there goes Dennett. This was not at allappealing, however. How. could I be in the vat and not about to goanywhere, when I was so obviously outside the vat looking in andbeginning to make guilty plans to return to my room for a substan-tial lunch? This begged the question I realized, but it still seemed tobe getting at something important. Casting about for some support formy intuition, I hit upon a legalistic sort of argument that might haveappealed to Locke.

Suppose, I argued to myself, I were now to fly to California, rob abank, and be apprehended. In which state would I be tried: In

Where Am I? 315314 BRAINSTORMS

California, where the robbery took place, or in Texas, where thebrains of the outfit were located? Would I be a California felonwith an out-of-state brain, or a Texas felon remotely controlling anaccomplice of sorts in California? It seemed possible that I mightbeat such a rap just on the undecidability of that jurisdictional ques-tion, though perhaps it would be deemed an inter-state, and henceFederal, offense. In any event, suppose I were convicted. Was it likelythat California would be satisfied to throw Hamlet into the brig,knowing that Yorick was living the good life and luxuriously takingthe waters in Texas? Would Texas incarcerate Yorick, leaving Hamletfree to take the next boat to Rio? This alternative appealed to me.Barring capital punishment or other cruel and unusual punishment,the state would be obliged to maintain the life-support system forYorick though they might move him from Houston to Leavenworth,and aside from the unpleasantness of the opprobrium, I, for one,would not mind at all and would consider myself a free man underthose circumstances. If the state has an interest in forcibly relocatingpersons in institutions, it would fail to relocate me in any institu-tion by locating Yorick there. If this were true, it suggested a thirdalternative.

(3) Dennett is wherever he thinks he is. Generalized, the claim wasas follows: At any given time a person has a point of view, and thelocation of the point of view (which is determined internally by thecontent of the point of view) is also the location of the person.

Such a proposition is not without its perplexities, but to me itseemed a step in the right direction. The only trouble was that itseemed to place one in a heads-I-win/tails-you-lose situation ofunlikely infallibility as regards location. Hadn't I myself often beenwrong about where I was, and at least as often uncertain? Couldn'tone get lost? Of course, but getting lost geographically is not the onlyway one might get lost. If one were lost in the woods one couldattempt to reassure oneself with the consolation that at least oneknew where one was: one was right here in the familiar surroundingsof one's own body. Perhaps in this case one would not have drawnone's attention to much to be thankful for. Still, there were worseplights imaginable, and I wasn't sure I wasn't in such a plight rightnow.

Point of view clearly had something to do with personal location,but it was itself an unclear notion. It was obvious that the content ofone's point of view was not the same as or determined by the contentof one's beliefs or thoughts. For example, what should we say aboutthe point of view of the Cinerama viewer who shrieks and twists in

his seat as the roller-coaster footage overcomes his psychic distancing?Has he forgotten that he is safely seated in the theater? Here I wasinclined to say that the person is experiencing an illusory shift in pointof view. In other cases, my inclination to call such shifts illusory wasless strong. The workers in laboratories and plants who handle danger-ous materials by operating feedback-controlled mechanical arms andhands undergo a shift in point of view that is crisper and more pro-nounced than anything Cinerama can provoke. They can feel the heftand slipperiness of the containers they manipulate with their metalfingers. They know perfectly well where they are and are not fooledinto false beliefs by the experience, yet it is as if they were inside theisolation chamber they are peering into. With mental effort, they canmanage to shift their point of view back and forth, rather like makinga transparent Neckar cube or an Escher drawing change orientationbefore one's eyes. It does seem extravagant to suppose that in per-forming this bit of mental gymnastics, they are transporting them-selves back and forth.

Still their example gave me hope. If I was in fact in the vat in spiteof my intuitions, I might be able to train myself to adopt that point ofview even as a matter of habit. I should dwell on images of myselfcomfortably floating in my vat, beaming volitions to that familiarbody out there. I reflected that the ease or difficulty of this task waspresumably independent of the truth about the location of one'sbrain. Had I been practicing before the operation, I might now befinding it second nature. You might now yourself try such a trompl'oeil. Imagine you have written an inflammatory letter which hasbeen published in the Times, the result of which is that the Govern-ment has chosen to impound your brain for a probationary period ofthree years in its Dangerous Brain Clinic in Bethesda, Maryland. Yourbody of course is allowed freedom to earn a salary and thus to con-tinue its function of laying up income to be taxed. At this moment,however, your body is seated in an auditorium listening to a peculiaraccount by Daniel Dennett of his own similar experience. Try it.Think yourself to Bethesda, and then hark back longingly to yourbody, far away, and yet seeming so near. It is only with long-distancerestraint (yours? the Government's?) that you can control your im-pulse to get those hands clapping in polite applause before navigatingthe old body to the rest room and a well-deserved glass of eveningsherry in the lounge. The task of imagination is certainly difficult, butif you achieve your goal the results might be consoling.

Anyway, there I was in Houston, lost in thought as one might say,but not for long. My speculations were soon interrupted by the

316

BR

AIN

ST

OR

MS

Hou

ston

doc

tors

, wh

o w

ish

ed t

o te

st o

ut

my

new

pro

sth

etic

ner

vou

ssy

stem

bef

ore

sen

din

g m

e of

f on

my

haz

ard

ous

mis

sion

. As

I m

en-

tion

ed b

efor

e, I

was

a b

it d

izzy

at

firs

t, a

nd n

ot s

urpr

isin

gly,

alt

houg

hI

soon

hab

itua

ted

mys

elf

to m

y ne

w c

ircu

mst

ance

s (w

hich

wer

e, a

fter

all,

wel

l n

igh

in

dis

tin

guis

hab

le f

rom

my

old

cir

cum

stan

ces)

. My

acco

mm

odat

ion

was

not

per

fect

, how

ever

, and

to

this

day

I c

onti

nue

to b

e pl

ague

d by

min

or c

oord

inat

ion

diff

icul

ties

. The

spe

ed o

f lig

ht is

fast

, bu

t fi

nit

e, a

nd

as

my

bra

in a

nd

bod

y m

ove

fart

her

an

d f

arth

erap

art,

the

del

icat

e in

tera

ctio

n of

my

feed

back

sys

tem

s is

thr

own

into

disa

rray

by

the

tim

e la

gs. J

ust

as o

ne is

ren

dere

d cl

ose

to s

peec

hles

s by

a de

laye

d or

ech

oic

hear

ing

of o

ne's

spe

akin

g vo

ice

so, f

or in

stan

ce, I

am v

irtu

ally

una

ble

to t

rack

a m

ovin

g ob

ject

wit

h m

y ey

es w

hene

ver

my

brai

n an

d m

y bo

dy a

re m

ore

than

a f

ew m

iles

apar

t. I

n m

ost

mat

-te

rs m

y im

pair

men

t is

sca

rcel

y de

tect

able

, tho

ugh

I ca

n no

long

er h

ita

slow

cur

ve b

all w

ith

the

auth

orit

y of

yor

e. T

here

are

som

e co

mpe

n-sa

tion

s of

cou

rse.

Tho

ugh

liquo

r ta

stes

as

good

as

ever

, and

war

ms

my

gulle

t w

hile

cor

rodi

ng m

y liv

er, I

can

dri

nk it

in a

ny q

uant

ity

I pl

ease

,w

itho

ut b

ecom

ing

the

slig

htes

t bi

t in

ebri

ated

, a c

urio

sity

som

e of

my

clos

e fr

ien

ds

may

hav

e n

otic

ed (

thou

gh I

occ

asio

nal

ly h

ave

feig

ned

ineb

riat

ion,

so

as n

ot t

o dr

aw a

tten

tion

to

my

unus

ual c

ircu

mst

ance

s).

For

sim

ilar

reas

ons,

I t

ake

aspi

rin

oral

ly f

or a

spr

aine

d w

rist

, but

if t

hep

ain

per

sist

s I

ask

Hou

ston

to

adm

inis

ter

cod

ein

e to

me

in v

itro

. In

tim

es o

f ill

ness

the

pho

ne b

ill c

an b

e st

agge

ring

.B

ut

to r

etu

rn t

o m

y ad

vent

ure.

At

leng

th, b

oth

the

doct

ors

and

Iw

ere

sati

sfie

d th

at I

was

rea

dy t

o un

dert

ake

my

subt

erra

nean

mis

sion

.A

nd s

o I

left

my

brai

n in

Hou

ston

and

hea

ded

by h

elic

opte

r fo

r T

ulsa

.W

ell,

in a

ny c

ase,

tha

t's

the

way

it s

eem

ed t

o m

e. T

hat'

s ho

w I

wou

ldp

ut

it, j

ust

off

th

e to

p o

f m

y h

ead

as

it w

ere.

On

th

e tr

ip I

ref

lect

edfu

rth

er a

bou

t m

y ea

rlie

r an

xiet

ies

and

dec

ided

th

at m

y fi

rst

pos

t-op

erat

ive

spec

ulat

ions

had

bee

n ti

nged

wit

h pa

nic.

The

mat

ter

was

not

near

ly a

s st

rang

e or

met

aphy

sica

l as

I ha

d be

en s

uppo

sing

. Whe

re w

asI?

In

two

plac

es, c

lear

ly:

both

insi

de t

he v

at a

nd o

utsi

de it

. Jus

t as

one

can

stan

d w

ith

one

foot

in C

onne

ctic

ut a

nd t

he o

ther

in R

hode

Isl

and,

I w

as i

n t

wo

pla

ces

at o

nce

. I h

ad b

ecom

e on

e of

th

ose

scat

tere

din

div

idu

als

we

use

d t

o h

ear

so m

uch

ab

out.

Th

e m

ore

I co

nsi

der

edth

is a

nsw

er, t

he m

ore

obvi

ousl

y tr

ue it

app

eare

d. B

ut, s

tran

ge t

o sa

y,th

e m

ore

true

it a

ppea

red,

the

less

impo

rtan

t th

e qu

esti

on t

o w

hich

itco

uld

be t

he t

rue

answ

er s

eem

ed. A

sad

, but

not

unp

rece

dent

ed, f

ate

for

a ph

iloso

phic

al q

uest

ion

to s

uffe

r. T

his

answ

er d

id n

ot c

ompl

etel

ysa

tisf

y m

e, o

f co

urse

. The

re li

nger

ed s

ome

ques

tion

to

whi

ch I

sho

uld

have

like

d an

ans

wer

, whi

ch w

as n

eith

er "

Whe

re a

re a

ll m

y va

riou

s an

dsu

ndry

par

ts?"

nor

"W

hat

is m

y cu

rren

t po

int

of v

iew

?" O

r at

leas

t

Whe

re A

m I

? 31

7

ther

e se

emed

to

be s

uch

a qu

esti

on. F

or it

did

see

m u

nden

iabl

e th

atin

som

e se

nse

I a

nd

not

mer

ely

most

of

me

was

des

cend

ing

into

the

eart

h un

der

Tul

sa in

sea

rch

of a

n at

omic

war

head

.W

hen

I fo

und

the

war

head

, I w

as c

erta

inly

gla

d I

had

left

my

brai

nb

ehin

d, f

or t

he

poi

nte

r on

th

e sp

ecia

lly

bu

ilt

Gei

ger

cou

nte

r I

had

bro

ugh

t w

ith

me

was

off

th

e d

ial.

I ca

lled

Hou

ston

on

my

ord

inar

yra

dio

an

d t

old

th

e op

erat

ion

con

trol

cen

ter

of m

y p

osit

ion

an

d m

yp

rogr

ess.

In

ret

urn

, th

ey g

ave

me

inst

ruct

ion

s fo

r d

ism

antl

ing

the

veh

icle

, bas

ed u

pon

my

on-s

ite

obse

rvat

ion

s. I

had

set

to

wor

k w

ith

my

cutt

ing

torc

h w

hen

all

of

a su

dd

en a

ter

rib

le t

hin

g h

app

ened

. Iw

ent

ston

e d

eaf.

At

firs

t I

thou

ght

it w

as o

nly

my

rad

io e

arp

hon

esth

at h

ad b

rok

en, b

ut

wh

en I

tap

ped

on

my

hel

met

, I h

eard

not

hin

g.A

ppar

entl

y th

e au

dito

ry t

rans

ceiv

ers

had

gone

on

the

frit

z. I

cou

ld n

olo

nger

hea

r . H

oust

on o

r m

y ow

n vo

ice,

but

I c

ould

spe

ak, s

o I

star

ted

tell

ing

them

wha

t ha

d ha

ppen

ed. I

n m

id-s

ente

nce,

I k

new

som

ethi

ngel

se h

ad g

one

wro

ng. M

y vo

cal a

ppar

atus

had

bec

ome

para

lyze

d. T

hen

my

righ

t ha

nd w

ent

limp—

anot

her

tran

scei

ver

had

gone

. I w

as t

ruly

ind

eep

tro

ub

le. B

ut

wor

se w

as t

o fo

llow

. Aft

er a

few

mor

e m

inu

tes,

Iw

ent

blin

d. I

cur

sed

my

luck

, and

the

n I

curs

ed t

he s

cien

tist

s w

ho h

adle

d m

e in

to t

his

grav

e pe

ril.

The

re I

was

, dea

f, d

umb,

and

bli

nd, i

n a

rad

ioac

tive

hol

e m

ore

than

a m

ile

un

der

Tu

lsa.

Th

en t

he

last

of

my

cere

bral

rad

io li

nks

brok

e, a

nd s

udde

nly

I w

as f

aced

wit

h a

new

and

even

mor

e sh

ock

ing

pro

ble

m:

wh

erea

s an

inst

ant

bef

ore

I h

ad b

een

bu

ried

ali

ve in

Ok

lah

oma,

now

I w

as d

isem

bod

ied

in H

oust

on. M

yre

cogn

itio

n o

f m

y n

ew s

tatu

s w

as n

ot im

med

iate

. It

took

me

seve

ral

very

anx

ious

min

utes

bef

ore

it d

awne

d on

me

that

my

poor

bod

y la

yse

vera

l hun

dred

mile

s aw

ay, w

ith

hear

t pu

lsin

g an

d lu

ngs

resp

irat

ing,

bu

t ot

her

wis

e as

dea

d a

s th

e b

ody

of a

ny

hea

rt t

ran

spla

nt

don

or, i

tssk

ull p

acke

d w

ith

usel

ess,

bro

ken

elec

tron

ic g

ear.

The

shi

ft in

per

spec

-ti

ve I

had

ear

lier

foun

d w

ell n

igh

impo

ssib

le n

ow s

eem

ed q

uite

nat

ural

.T

hou

gh I

cou

ld t

hin

k m

ysel

f b

ack

into

my

bod

y in

th

e tu

nn

el u

nd

erT

ulsa

, it

took

som

e ef

fort

to

sust

ain

the

illu

sion

. For

sur

ely

it w

as a

nill

usio

n to

sup

pose

I w

as s

till

in O

klah

oma:

I h

ad lo

st a

ll co

ntac

t w

ith

that

bod

y.It

occ

urr

ed t

o m

e th

en, w

ith

on

e of

th

ose

rush

es o

f re

vela

tion

of

whi

ch w

e sh

ould

be

susp

icio

us, t

hat

I ha

d st

umbl

ed u

pon

an im

pres

-si

ve d

emon

stra

tion

of

the

imm

ater

ialit

y of

the

sou

l bas

ed u

pon

phys

i-ca

list

pri

nci

ple

s an

d p

rem

ises

. For

as

the

last

rad

io s

ign

al b

etw

een

Tul

sa a

nd H

oust

on d

ied

away

, had

I n

ot c

hang

ed lo

cati

on f

rom

Tul

sato

Hou

ston

at

the

spee

d o

f li

ght?

An

d h

ad I

not

acc

omp

lish

ed t

his

wit

hout

any

incr

ease

in m

ass?

Wha

t m

oved

fro

m A

to

B a

t su

ch s

peed

was

sur

ely

mys

elf,

or

at a

ny r

ate

my

soul

or

min

d—th

e m

assl

ess

cent

er

316

BR

AIN

ST

OR

MS

Whe

re A

m I

? 31

7

Hou

ston

doc

tors

, wh

o w

ish

ed t

o te

st o

ut

my

new

pro

sth

etic

ner

vou

ssy

stem

bef

ore

sen

din

g m

e of

f on

my

haz

ard

ous

mis

sion

. As

I m

en-

tion

ed b

efor

e, I

was

a b

it d

izzy

at

firs

t, a

nd n

ot s

urpr

isin

gly,

alt

houg

hI

soon

hab

itua

ted

mys

elf

to m

y ne

w c

ircu

mst

ance

s (w

hich

wer

e, a

fter

all,

wel

l n

igh

in

dis

tin

guis

hab

le f

rom

my

old

cir

cum

stan

ces)

. My

acco

mm

odat

ion

was

not

per

fect

, how

ever

, and

to

this

day

I c

onti

nue

to b

e pl

ague

d by

min

or c

oord

inat

ion

diff

icul

ties

. The

spe

ed o

f lig

ht is

fast

, bu

t fi

nit

e, a

nd

as

my

bra

in a

nd

bod

y m

ove

fart

her

an

d f

arth

erap

art,

the

del

icat

e in

tera

ctio

n of

my

feed

back

sys

tem

s is

thr

own

into

disa

rray

by

the

tim

e la

gs. J

ust

as o

ne is

ren

dere

d cl

ose

to s

peec

hles

s by

a de

laye

d or

ech

oic

hear

ing

of o

ne's

spe

akin

g vo

ice

so, f

or in

stan

ce, I

am v

irtu

ally

una

ble

to t

rack

a m

ovin

g ob

ject

wit

h m

y ey

es w

hene

ver

my

brai

n an

d m

y bo

dy a

re m

ore

than

a f

ew m

iles

apar

t. I

n m

ost

mat

-te

rs m

y im

pair

men

t is

sca

rcel

y de

tect

able

, tho

ugh

I ca

n no

long

er h

ita

slow

cur

ve b

all w

ith

the

auth

orit

y of

yor

e. T

here

are

som

e co

mpe

n-sa

tion

s of

cou

rse.

Tho

ugh

liquo

r ta

stes

as

good

as

ever

, and

war

ms

my

gulle

t w

hile

cor

rodi

ng m

y liv

er, I

can

dri

nk it

in a

ny q

uant

ity

I pl

ease

,w

itho

ut b

ecom

ing

the

slig

htes

t bi

t in

ebri

ated

, a c

urio

sity

som

e of

my

clos

e fr

ien

ds

may

hav

e n

otic

ed (

thou

gh I

occ

asio

nal

ly h

ave

feig

ned

ineb

riat

ion,

so

as n

ot t

o dr

aw a

tten

tion

to

my

unus

ual c

ircu

mst

ance

s).

For

sim

ilar

reas

ons,

I t

ake

aspi

rin

oral

ly f

or a

spr

aine

d w

rist

, but

if t

hep

ain

per

sist

s I

ask

Hou

ston

to

adm

inis

ter

cod

ein

e to

me

in v

itro

. In

tim

es o

f ill

ness

the

pho

ne b

ill c

an b

e st

agge

ring

.B

ut

to r

etu

rn t

o m

y ad

vent

ure.

At

leng

th, b

oth

the

doct

ors

and

Iw

ere

sati

sfie

d th

at I

was

rea

dy t

o un

dert

ake

my

subt

erra

nean

mis

sion

.A

nd s

o I

left

my

brai

n in

Hou

ston

and

hea

ded

by h

elic

opte

r fo

r T

ulsa

.W

ell,

in a

ny c

ase,

tha

t's

the

way

it s

eem

ed t

o m

e. T

hat'

s ho

w I

wou

ldp

ut

it, j

ust

off

th

e to

p o

f m

y h

ead

as

it w

ere.

On

th

e tr

ip I

ref

lect

edfu

rth

er a

bou

t m

y ea

rlie

r an

xiet

ies

and

dec

ided

th

at m

y fi

rst

pos

t-op

erat

ive

spec

ulat

ions

had

bee

n ti

nged

wit

h pa

nic.

The

mat

ter

was

not

near

ly a

s st

rang

e or

met

aphy

sica

l as

I ha

d be

en s

uppo

sing

. Whe

re w

asI?

In

two

plac

es, c

lear

ly:

both

insi

de t

he v

at a

nd o

utsi

de it

. Jus

t as

one

can

stan

d w

ith

one

foot

in C

onne

ctic

ut a

nd t

he o

ther

in R

hode

Isl

and,

I w

as i

n t

wo

pla

ces

at o

nce

. I h

ad b

ecom

e on

e of

th

ose

scat

tere

din

div

idu

als

we

use

d t

o h

ear

so m

uch

ab

out.

Th

e m

ore

I co

nsi

der

edth

is a

nsw

er, t

he m

ore

obvi

ousl

y tr

ue it

app

eare

d. B

ut, s

tran

ge t

o sa

y,th

e m

ore

true

it a

ppea

red,

the

less

impo

rtan

t th

e qu

esti

on t

o w

hich

itco

uld

be t

he t

rue

answ

er s

eem

ed. A

sad

, but

not

unp

rece

dent

ed, f

ate

for

a ph

iloso

phic

al q

uest

ion

to s

uffe

r. T

his

answ

er d

id n

ot c

ompl

etel

ysa

tisf

y m

e, o

f co

urse

. The

re li

nger

ed s

ome

ques

tion

to

whi

ch I

sho

uld

have

like

d an

ans

wer

, whi

ch w

as n

eith

er "

Whe

re a

re a

ll m

y va

riou

s an

dsu

ndry

par

ts?"

nor

"W

hat

is m

y cu

rren

t po

int

of v

iew

?" O

r at

leas

t

ther

e se

emed

to

be s

uch

a qu

esti

on. F

or it

did

see

m u

nden

iabl

e th

atin

som

e se

nse

I a

nd

not

mer

ely

most

of

me

was

des

cend

ing

into

the

eart

h un

der

Tul

sa in

sea

rch

of a

n at

omic

war

head

.W

hen

I fo

und

the

war

head

, I w

as c

erta

inly

gla

d I

had

left

my

brai

nb

ehin

d, f

or t

he

poi

nte

r on

th

e sp

ecia

lly

bu

ilt

Gei

ger

cou

nte

r I

had

bro

ugh

t w

ith

me

was

off

th

e d

ial.

I ca

lled

Hou

ston

on

my

ord

inar

yra

dio

an

d t

old

th

e op

erat

ion

con

trol

cen

ter

of m

y p

osit

ion

an

d m

yp

rogr

ess.

In

ret

urn

, th

ey g

ave

me

inst

ruct

ion

s fo

r d

ism

antl

ing

the

veh

icle

, bas

ed u

pon

my

on-s

ite

obse

rvat

ion

s. I

had

set

to

wor

k w

ith

my

cutt

ing

torc

h w

hen

all

of

a su

dd

en a

ter

rib

le t

hin

g h

app

ened

. Iw

ent

ston

e d

eaf.

At

firs

t I

thou

ght

it w

as o

nly

my

rad

io e

arp

hon

esth

at h

ad b

rok

en, b

ut

wh

en I

tap

ped

on

my

hel

met

, I h

eard

not

hin

g.A

ppar

entl

y th

e au

dito

ry t

rans

ceiv

ers

had

gone

on

the

frit

z. I

cou

ld n

olo

nger

hea

r . H

oust

on o

r m

y ow

n vo

ice,

but

I c

ould

spe

ak, s

o I

star

ted

tell

ing

them

wha

t ha

d ha

ppen

ed. I

n m

id-s

ente

nce,

I k

new

som

ethi

ngel

se h

ad g

one

wro

ng. M

y vo

cal a

ppar

atus

had

bec

ome

para

lyze

d. T

hen

my

righ

t ha

nd w

ent

limp—

anot

her

tran

scei

ver

had

gone

. I w

as t

ruly

ind

eep

tro

ub

le. B

ut

wor

se w

as t

o fo

llow

. Aft

er a

few

mor

e m

inu

tes,

Iw

ent

blin

d. I

cur

sed

my

luck

, and

the

n I

curs

ed t

he s

cien

tist

s w

ho h

adle

d m

e in

to t

his

grav

e pe

ril.

The

re I

was

, dea

f, d

umb,

and

bli

nd, i

n a

rad

ioac

tive

hol

e m

ore

than

a m

ile

un

der

Tu

lsa.

Th

en t

he

last

of

my

cere

bral

rad

io li

nks

brok

e, a

nd s

udde

nly

I w

as f

aced

wit

h a

new

and

even

mor

e sh

ock

ing

pro

ble

m:

wh

erea

s an

inst

ant

bef

ore

I h

ad b

een

bu

ried

ali

ve in

Ok

lah

oma,

now

I w

as d

isem

bod

ied

in H

oust

on. M

yre

cogn

itio

n o

f m

y n

ew s

tatu

s w

as n

ot im

med

iate

. It

took

me

seve

ral

very

anx

ious

min

utes

bef

ore

it d

awne

d on

me

that

my

poor

bod

y la

yse

vera

l hun

dred

mile

s aw

ay, w

ith

hear

t pu

lsin

g an

d lu

ngs

resp

irat

ing,

bu

t ot

her

wis

e as

dea

d a

s th

e b

ody

of a

ny

hea

rt t

ran

spla

nt

don

or, i

tssk

ull p

acke

d w

ith

usel

ess,

bro

ken

elec

tron

ic g

ear.

The

shi

ft in

per

spec

-ti

ve I

had

ear

lier

foun

d w

ell n

igh

impo

ssib

le n

ow s

eem

ed q

uite

nat

ural

.T

hou

gh I

cou

ld t

hin

k m

ysel

f b

ack

into

my

bod

y in

th

e tu

nn

el u

nd

erT

ulsa

, it

took

som

e ef

fort

to

sust

ain

the

illu

sion

. For

sur

ely

it w

as a

nill

usio

n to

sup

pose

I w

as s

till

in O

klah

oma:

I h

ad lo

st a

ll co

ntac

t w

ith

that

bod

y.It

occ

urr

ed t

o m

e th

en, w

ith

on

e of

th

ose

rush

es o

f re

vela

tion

of

whi

ch w

e sh

ould

be

susp

icio

us, t

hat

I ha

d st

umbl

ed u

pon

an im

pres

-si

ve d

emon

stra

tion

of

the

imm

ater

ialit

y of

the

sou

l bas

ed u

pon

phys

i-ca

list

pri

nci

ple

s an

d p

rem

ises

. For

as

the

last

rad

io s

ign

al b

etw

een

Tul

sa a

nd H

oust

on d

ied

away

, had

I n

ot c

hang

ed lo

cati

on f

rom

Tul

sato

Hou

ston

at

the

spee

d o

f li

ght?

An

d h

ad I

not

acc

omp

lish

ed t

his

wit

hout

any

incr

ease

in m

ass?

Wha

t m

oved

fro

m A

to

B a

t su

ch s

peed

was

sur

ely

mys

elf,

or

at a

ny r

ate

my

soul

or

min

d—th

e m

assl

ess

cent

er

Where Am I? 319318 BRAINSTORMS

of my being and home of my consciousness. My point of view hadlagged somewhat behind, but I had already noted the indirect bearingof point of view on personal location. I could not see how a physical-ist philosopher could quarrel with this except by taking the dire andcounter-intuitive route of banishing all talk of persons. Yet the notionof personhood was so well entrenched in everyone's world view, or soit seemed to me, that any denial would be as curiously unconvincing,as systematically disingenuous, as the Cartesian negation, "non sum."'

The joy of philosophic discovery thus tided me over some very badminutes or perhaps hours as the helplessness and hopelessness of mysituation became more apparent to me. Waves of panic and even nau-sea swept over me, made all the more horrible by the absence of theirnormal body-dependent phenomenology. No adrenalin rush of tinglesin the arms, no pounding heart, no premonitory salivation. I did feel adread sinking feeling in my bowels at one point, and this tricked memomentarily into the false hope that I was undergoing a reversal ofthe process that landed me in this fix—a gradual undisembodiment. Butthe isolation and uniqueness of that twinge soon convinced me that itwas simply the first of a plague of phantom body hallucinations thatI, like any other amputee, would be all too likely to suffer.

My mood then was chaotic. On the one hand, I was fired up withelation at my philosophic discovery and was wracking my brain (oneof the few familiar things I could still do), trying to figure out how tocommunicate my discovery to the journals; while on the other, I wasbitter, lonely, and filled with dread and uncertainty. Fortunately, thisdid not last long, for my technical support team sedated me into adreamless sleep from which I awoke, hearing with magnificent fidelitythe familiar opening strains of my favorite Brahms piano trio. So thatwas why they had wanted a list of my favorite recordings! It did nottake me long to realize that I was hearing the music without ears. Theoutput from the stereo stylus was being fed through some fancy rec-tification circuitry directly into my auditory nerve. I was mainliningBrahms, an unforgettable experience for any stereo buff. At the endof the record it did not surprise me to hear the reassuring voice of theproject director speaking into a microphone that was now my pros-thetic ear. He confirmed my analysis of what had gone wrong andassured me that steps were being taken to re-embody me. He did notelaborate, and after a few more recordings, I found myself drifting offto sleep. My sleep lasted, I later learned, for the better part of a year,and when I awoke, it was to find myself fully restored to my senses.When I looked into the mirror, though, I was a bit startled to see anunfamiliar face. Bearded and a bit heavier, bearing no doubt a family

resemblance to my former face, and with the same look of spritelyintelligence and resolute character, but definitely a new face. Furtherself-explorations of an intimate nature left me no doubt that this wasa new body and the project director confirmed my conclusions. Hedid not volunteer any information on the past history of my newbody and I decided (wisely, I think in retrospect) not to pry. Asmany philosophers unfamiliar with my ordeal have more recentlyspeculated, the acquisition of a new body leaves one's person intact.And after a period of adjustment to a new voice, new muscularstrengths and weaknesses, and so forth, one's personality is by andlarge also preserved. More dramatic changes in personality have beenroutinely observed in people who have undergone extensive plasticsurgery, to say nothing of sex change operations, and I think no onecontests the survival of the person in such cases. In any event I soonaccommodated to my new body, to the point of being unable torecover any of its novelties to my consciousness or even memory. Theview in the mirror soon became utterly familiar. That view, by theway, still revealed antennae, and so I was not surprised to learn thatmy brain had not been moved from its haven in the life-support lab.

I decided that good old Yorick deserved a visit. I and my new body,whom we might as well call Fortinbras, strode into the familiar labto another round of applause from the technicians, who were ofcourse congratulating themselves, not me. Once more I stood beforethe vat and contemplated poor Yorick, and on a whim I once againcavalierly flicked off the output transmitter switch. Imagine mysurprise when nothing unusual happened. No fainting spell, no nausea,no noticeable change. A technician hurried to restore the switchto ON, but still I felt nothing. I demanded an explanation, whichthe project director hastened to provide. It seems that before theyhad even operated on the first occasion, they had constructed acomputer duplicate of my brain, reproducing both the completeinformation processing structure and the computational speed ofmy brain in a giant computer program. After the operation, butbefore they had dared to send me off on my mission to Oklahoma,they had run this computer system and Yorick side by side. Theincoming signals from Hamlet were sent simultaneously to Yorick'stransceivers and to the computer's array of inputs. And the out-puts from Yorick were not only beamed back to Hamlet, my body;they were recorded and checked against the simultaneous outputof the computer program, which was called "Hubert" for reasonsobscure to me. Over days and even weeks, the outputs were iden-tical and synchronous, which of course did not prove that they

320

BR

AIN

ST

OR

MS

had

succ

eede

d in

cop

ying

the

bra

in's

fun

ctio

nal s

truc

ture

, but

the

empi

rica

l sup

port

was

gre

atly

enc

oura

ging

.H

uber

t's

inpu

t, a

nd h

ence

act

ivit

y, h

ad b

een

kept

par

alle

l wit

hY

oric

k's

duri

ng m

y di

sem

bodi

ed d

ays.

And

now

, to

dem

onst

rate

this

,th

ey h

ad a

ctua

lly th

row

n th

e m

aste

r sw

itch

that

put

Hub

ert f

or th

efi

rst t

ime

in o

n-lin

e co

ntro

l of m

y bo

dy—

not H

amle

t, of

cou

rse,

but

For

tinb

ras.

(Ham

let,

I le

arne

d, h

ad n

ever

bee

n re

cove

red

from

its

unde

rgro

und

tom

b an

d co

uld

be a

ssum

ed b

y th

is ti

me

to h

ave

larg

ely

retu

rned

to th

e du

st. A

t the

hea

d of

my

grav

e st

ill la

y th

e m

agni

ficen

tbu

lk o

f the

aba

ndon

ed d

evic

e, w

ith th

e w

ord

STU

D e

mbl

azon

ed o

n its

side

in la

rge

lett

ers—

a ci

rcum

stan

ce w

hich

may

pro

vide

arc

heol

ogis

tsof

the

next

cen

tury

wit

h a

curi

ous

insi

ght i

nto

the

buri

al r

ites

of t

heir

ance

stor

s.)T

he la

bora

tory

tec

hnic

ians

now

sho

wed

me

the

mas

ter

swit

ch,

whi

ch h

ad tw

o po

siti

ons,

labe

led

B, f

or B

rain

(the

y di

dn't

kno

w m

ybr

ain'

s na

me

was

Yor

ick)

and

H,

for

Hub

ert.

The

sw

itch

did

inde

edpo

int

to H

, and

they

exp

lain

ed to

me

that

if I

wis

hed,

I c

ould

sw

itch

it b

ack

to B

. Wit

h m

y he

art i

n m

y m

outh

(and

my

brai

n in

its

vat)

, Idi

d th

is. N

othi

ng h

appe

ned.

A c

lick,

that

was

all.

To

test

thei

r cl

aim

,an

d w

ith

the

mas

ter

swit

ch n

ow s

et a

t B

, I

hit Y

oric

k's

outp

ut tr

ans-

mit

ter

swit

ch o

n th

e va

t and

sur

e en

ough

, I b

egan

to fa

int.

Onc

e th

eou

tput

sw

itch

was

turn

ed b

ack

on a

nd I

had

rec

over

ed m

y w

its,

so

tosp

eak,

I c

ontin

ued

to p

lay

with

the

mas

ter

switc

h, fl

ippi

ng it

bac

k an

dfo

rth.

I fo

und

that

wit

h th

e ex

cept

ion

of th

e tr

ansi

tion

al c

lick,

I c

ould

dete

ct n

o tr

ace

of a

dif

fere

nce.

I c

ould

sw

itch

in m

id-u

tter

ance

, and

the

sent

ence

I h

ad b

egun

spe

akin

g un

der

the

cont

rol o

f Yor

ick

was

fini

shed

wit

hout

a p

ause

or

hitc

h of

any

kin

d un

der

the

cont

rol o

fH

uber

t. I

had

a sp

are

brai

n, a

pro

sthe

tic d

evic

e w

hich

mig

ht s

ome

day

stan

d m

e in

ver

y go

od s

tead

, wer

e so

me

mis

hap

to b

efal

l Yor

ick.

Or

alte

rnat

ivel

y, I

cou

ld k

eep

Yor

ick

as a

spa

re a

nd u

se H

uber

t. It

did

n't

seem

to m

ake

any

diff

eren

ce w

hich

I c

hose

, for

the

wea

r an

d te

ar a

ndfa

tigu

e on

my

body

did

not

hav

e an

y de

bilit

atin

g ef

fect

on

eith

erbr

ain,

whe

ther

or

not i

t was

act

ually

cau

sing

the

mot

ions

of m

y bo

dy,

or m

erel

y sp

illin

g its

out

put i

nto

thin

air

.T

he o

ne tr

uly

unse

ttlin

g as

pect

of t

his

new

dev

elop

men

t was

the

pros

pect

, whi

ch w

as n

ot lo

ng in

daw

ning

on

me,

of s

omeo

ne d

etac

hing

the

spar

e—H

uber

t or

Yor

ick,

as

the

case

mig

ht b

e—fr

om F

orti

nbra

san

d hi

tchi

ng it

to

yet a

noth

er b

ody—

som

e Jo

hnny

-com

e-la

tely

Ros

en-

cran

tz o

r G

uild

enst

ern.

The

n (i

f no

t be

fore

) th

ere

wou

ld b

e tw

ope

ople

, tha

t muc

h w

as c

lear

. One

wou

ld b

e m

e, a

nd th

e ot

her

wou

ldbe

a s

ort o

f sup

er-t

win

bro

ther

. If t

here

wer

e tw

o bo

dies

, one

und

erth

e co

ntro

l of H

uber

t and

the

othe

r be

ing

cont

rolle

d by

Yor

ick,

then

Wh

ere

Am

I?

321

whi

ch w

ould

the

wor

ld r

ecog

nize

as

the

true

Den

nett

? A

nd w

hate

ver

the

rest

of

the

wor

ld d

ecid

ed, w

hich

one

wou

ld b

e m

e? W

ould

I b

eth

e Y

oric

k-br

aine

d- on

e, in

vir

tue

of Y

oric

k's

caus

al p

rior

ity

and

for-

mer

inti

mat

e re

lati

onsh

ip w

ith

• the

ori

gina

l Den

nett

bod

y, H

amle

t?T

hat s

eem

ed a

bit

lega

listi

c, a

bit

too

redo

lent

of t

he a

rbit

rari

ness

of

cons

angu

inity

and

lega

l pos

sess

ion,

to b

e co

nvin

cing

at t

he m

etap

hysi

-ca

l lev

el. F

or, s

uppo

se th

at b

efor

e th

e ar

riva

l of t

he s

econ

d bo

dy o

nth

e sc

ene,

I h

ad b

een

keep

ing

Yor

ick

as th

e sp

are

for

year

s, a

nd le

ttin

gH

uber

t's o

utpu

t dri

ve m

y bo

dy—

that

is, F

ortin

bras

—al

l tha

t tim

e. T

heH

uber

t-F

orti

nbra

s co

uple

wou

ld s

eem

then

by

squa

tter

's r

ight

s (t

oco

mba

t one

lega

l int

uiti

on w

ith

anot

her)

to b

e th

e tr

ue D

enne

tt a

ndth

e la

wfu

l inh

erit

or o

f ev

eryt

hing

tha

t w

as D

enne

tt's

. Thi

s w

as a

nin

tere

stin

g qu

esti

on, c

erta

inly

, but

not

nea

rly

so p

ress

ing

as a

noth

erqu

esti

on th

at b

othe

red

me.

My

stro

nges

t int

uiti

on w

as th

at in

suc

h an

even

tual

ity I

wou

ld s

urvi

ve s

o lo

ng a

s ei

ther

bra

in-b

ody

coup

le r

e-m

aine

d in

tact

, but

I h

ad m

ixed

em

otio

ns a

bout

whe

ther

I s

houl

d w

ant

both

to s

urvi

ve.

I di

scus

sed

my

wor

ries

wit

h th

e te

chni

cian

s an

d th

e pr

ojec

t dir

ec-

tor.

The

pro

spec

t of t

wo

Den

nett

s w

as a

bhor

rent

to m

e, I

exp

lain

ed,

larg

ely

for

soci

al r

easo

ns. I

did

n't

wan

t to

be

my

own

riva

l for

the

affe

ctio

ns o

f my

wif

e, n

or d

id I

like

the

pros

pect

of t

he tw

o D

enne

tts

shar

ing

my

mod

est p

rofe

ssor

's s

alar

y. S

till

mor

e ve

rtig

inou

s an

d di

s-ta

stef

ul, t

houg

h, w

as t

he id

ea o

f kn

owin

g th

at

mu

ch a

bout

ano

ther

pers

on, w

hile

he

had

the

very

sam

e go

ods

on m

e. H

ow c

ould

we

ever

face

eac

h ot

her?

My

colle

ague

s in

the

lab

argu

ed th

at I

was

igno

ring

the

brig

ht s

ide

of th

e m

atte

r. W

eren

't th

ere

man

y th

ings

I w

ante

d to

do b

ut, b

eing

onl

y on

e pe

rson

, had

bee

n un

able

to

do?

Now

one

Den

nett

cou

ld s

tay

at h

ome

and

be t

he p

rofe

ssor

and

fam

ily m

an,

whi

le th

e ot

her

coul

d st

rike

out

on

a lif

e of

trav

el a

nd a

dven

ture

—m

issi

ng t

he f

amily

of

cour

se, b

ut h

appy

in t

he k

now

ledg

e th

at t

heot

her

Den

nett

was

kee

ping

the

hom

e fi

res

burn

ing.

I c

ould

be

fait

hful

and

adul

tero

us a

t the

sam

e ti

me.

I c

ould

eve

n cu

ckol

d m

ysel

f—to

say

noth

ing

of o

ther

mor

e lu

rid

poss

ibili

ties

my

colle

ague

s w

ere

all t

oore

ady

to f

orce

upo

n m

y ov

erta

xed

imag

inat

ion.

But

my

orde

al in

Okl

ahom

a (o

r w

as it

Hou

ston

?) h

ad m

ade

me

less

adv

entu

rous

, and

Ish

rank

from

this

opp

ortu

nity

that

was

bei

ng o

ffer

ed (t

houg

h of

cou

rse

I w

as n

ever

qui

te. s

ure

it w

as b

eing

off

ered

to m

e in

the

firs

t pla

ce).

The

re w

as a

noth

er p

rosp

ect e

ven

mor

e di

sagr

eeab

le—

that

the

spar

e,H

uber

t or

Yor

ick

as th

e ca

se m

ight

be,

wou

ld b

e de

tach

ed fr

om a

nyin

put f

rom

For

tinb

ras

and

just

left

det

ache

d. T

hen,

as

in th

e ot

her

case

, the

re w

ould

be

two

Den

nett

s, o

r at

leas

t tw

o cl

aim

ants

to

my

nam

e an

d po

sses

sion

s, o

ne e

mbo

died

in F

orti

nbra

s, a

nd t

he o

ther

320

BR

AIN

ST

OR

MS

Wh

ere

Am

I?

321

had

succ

eede

d in

cop

ying

the

bra

in's

fun

ctio

nal s

truc

ture

, but

the

empi

rica

l sup

port

was

gre

atly

enc

oura

ging

.H

uber

t's

inpu

t, a

nd h

ence

act

ivit

y, h

ad b

een

kept

par

alle

l wit

hY

oric

k's

duri

ng m

y di

sem

bodi

ed d

ays.

And

now

, to

dem

onst

rate

this

,th

ey h

ad a

ctua

lly th

row

n th

e m

aste

r sw

itch

that

put

Hub

ert f

or th

efi

rst t

ime

in o

n-lin

e co

ntro

l of m

y bo

dy—

not H

amle

t, of

cou

rse,

but

For

tinb

ras.

(Ham

let,

I le

arne

d, h

ad n

ever

bee

n re

cove

red

from

its

unde

rgro

und

tom

b an

d co

uld

be a

ssum

ed b

y th

is ti

me

to h

ave

larg

ely

retu

rned

to th

e du

st. A

t the

hea

d of

my

grav

e st

ill la

y th

e m

agni

ficen

tbu

lk o

f the

aba

ndon

ed d

evic

e, w

ith th

e w

ord

STU

D e

mbl

azon

ed o

n its

side

in la

rge

lett

ers—

a ci

rcum

stan

ce w

hich

may

pro

vide

arc

heol

ogis

tsof

the

next

cen

tury

wit

h a

curi

ous

insi

ght i

nto

the

buri

al r

ites

of t

heir

ance

stor

s.)T

he la

bora

tory

tec

hnic

ians

now

sho

wed

me

the

mas

ter

swit

ch,

whi

ch h

ad tw

o po

siti

ons,

labe

led

B, f

or B

rain

(the

y di

dn't

kno

w m

ybr

ain'

s na

me

was

Yor

ick)

and

H,

for

Hub

ert.

The

sw

itch

did

inde

edpo

int

to H

, and

they

exp

lain

ed to

me

that

if I

wis

hed,

I c

ould

sw

itch

it b

ack

to B

. Wit

h m

y he

art i

n m

y m

outh

(and

my

brai

n in

its

vat)

, Idi

d th

is. N

othi

ng h

appe

ned.

A c

lick,

that

was

all.

To

test

thei

r cl

aim

,an

d w

ith

the

mas

ter

swit

ch n

ow s

et a

t B

, I

hit Y

oric

k's

outp

ut tr

ans-

mit

ter

swit

ch o

n th

e va

t and

sur

e en

ough

, I b

egan

to fa

int.

Onc

e th

eou

tput

sw

itch

was

turn

ed b

ack

on a

nd I

had

rec

over

ed m

y w

its,

so

tosp

eak,

I c

ontin

ued

to p

lay

with

the

mas

ter

switc

h, fl

ippi

ng it

bac

k an

dfo

rth.

I fo

und

that

wit

h th

e ex

cept

ion

of th

e tr

ansi

tion

al c

lick,

I c

ould

dete

ct n

o tr

ace

of a

dif

fere

nce.

I c

ould

sw

itch

in m

id-u

tter

ance

, and

the

sent

ence

I h

ad b

egun

spe

akin

g un

der

the

cont

rol o

f Yor

ick

was

fini

shed

wit

hout

a p

ause

or

hitc

h of

any

kin

d un

der

the

cont

rol o

fH

uber

t. I

had

a sp

are

brai

n, a

pro

sthe

tic d

evic

e w

hich

mig

ht s

ome

day

stan

d m

e in

ver

y go

od s

tead

, wer

e so

me

mis

hap

to b

efal

l Yor

ick.

Or

alte

rnat

ivel

y, I

cou

ld k

eep

Yor

ick

as a

spa

re a

nd u

se H

uber

t. It

did

n't

seem

to m

ake

any

diff

eren

ce w

hich

I c

hose

, for

the

wea

r an

d te

ar a

ndfa

tigu

e on

my

body

did

not

hav

e an

y de

bilit

atin

g ef

fect

on

eith

erbr

ain,

whe

ther

or

not i

t was

act

ually

cau

sing

the

mot

ions

of m

y bo

dy,

or m

erel

y sp

illin

g its

out

put i

nto

thin

air

.T

he o

ne tr

uly

unse

ttlin

g as

pect

of t

his

new

dev

elop

men

t was

the

pros

pect

, whi

ch w

as n

ot lo

ng in

daw

ning

on

me,

of s

omeo

ne d

etac

hing

the

spar

e—H

uber

t or

Yor

ick,

as

the

case

mig

ht b

e—fr

om F

orti

nbra

san

d hi

tchi

ng it

to

yet a

noth

er b

ody—

som

e Jo

hnny

-com

e-la

tely

Ros

en-

cran

tz o

r G

uild

enst

ern.

The

n (i

f no

t be

fore

) th

ere

wou

ld b

e tw

ope

ople

, tha

t muc

h w

as c

lear

. One

wou

ld b

e m

e, a

nd th

e ot

her

wou

ldbe

a s

ort o

f sup

er-t

win

bro

ther

. If t

here

wer

e tw

o bo

dies

, one

und

erth

e co

ntro

l of H

uber

t and

the

othe

r be

ing

cont

rolle

d by

Yor

ick,

then

whi

ch w

ould

the

wor

ld r

ecog

nize

as

the

true

Den

nett

? A

nd w

hate

ver

the

rest

of

the

wor

ld d

ecid

ed, w

hich

one

wou

ld b

e m

e? W

ould

I b

eth

e Y

oric

k-br

aine

d- on

e, in

vir

tue

of Y

oric

k's

caus

al p

rior

ity

and

for-

mer

inti

mat

e re

lati

onsh

ip w

ith

• the

ori

gina

l Den

nett

bod

y, H

amle

t?T

hat s

eem

ed a

bit

lega

listi

c, a

bit

too

redo

lent

of t

he a

rbit

rari

ness

of

cons

angu

inity

and

lega

l pos

sess

ion,

to b

e co

nvin

cing

at t

he m

etap

hysi

-ca

l lev

el. F

or, s

uppo

se th

at b

efor

e th

e ar

riva

l of t

he s

econ

d bo

dy o

nth

e sc

ene,

I h

ad b

een

keep

ing

Yor

ick

as th

e sp

are

for

year

s, a

nd le

ttin

gH

uber

t's o

utpu

t dri

ve m

y bo

dy—

that

is, F

ortin

bras

—al

l tha

t tim

e. T

heH

uber

t-F

orti

nbra

s co

uple

wou

ld s

eem

then

by

squa

tter

's r

ight

s (t

oco

mba

t one

lega

l int

uiti

on w

ith

anot

her)

to b

e th

e tr

ue D

enne

tt a

ndth

e la

wfu

l inh

erit

or o

f ev

eryt

hing

tha

t w

as D

enne

tt's

. Thi

s w

as a

nin

tere

stin

g qu

esti

on, c

erta

inly

, but

not

nea

rly

so p

ress

ing

as a

noth

erqu

esti

on th

at b

othe

red

me.

My

stro

nges

t int

uiti

on w

as th

at in

suc

h an

even

tual

ity I

wou

ld s

urvi

ve s

o lo

ng a

s ei

ther

bra

in-b

ody

coup

le r

e-m

aine

d in

tact

, but

I h

ad m

ixed

em

otio

ns a

bout

whe

ther

I s

houl

d w

ant

both

to s

urvi

ve.

I di

scus

sed

my

wor

ries

wit

h th

e te

chni

cian

s an

d th

e pr

ojec

t dir

ec-

tor.

The

pro

spec

t of t

wo

Den

nett

s w

as a

bhor

rent

to m

e, I

exp

lain

ed,

larg

ely

for

soci

al r

easo

ns. I

did

n't

wan

t to

be

my

own

riva

l for

the

affe

ctio

ns o

f my

wif

e, n

or d

id I

like

the

pros

pect

of t

he tw

o D

enne

tts

shar

ing

my

mod

est p

rofe

ssor

's s

alar

y. S

till

mor

e ve

rtig

inou

s an

d di

s-ta

stef

ul, t

houg

h, w

as t

he id

ea o

f kn

owin

g th

at

mu

ch a

bout

ano

ther

pers

on, w

hile

he

had

the

very

sam

e go

ods

on m

e. H

ow c

ould

we

ever

face

eac

h ot

her?

My

colle

ague

s in

the

lab

argu

ed th

at I

was

igno

ring

the

brig

ht s

ide

of th

e m

atte

r. W

eren

't th

ere

man

y th

ings

I w

ante

d to

do b

ut, b

eing

onl

y on

e pe

rson

, had

bee

n un

able

to

do?

Now

one

Den

nett

cou

ld s

tay

at h

ome

and

be t

he p

rofe

ssor

and

fam

ily m

an,

whi

le th

e ot

her

coul

d st

rike

out

on

a lif

e of

trav

el a

nd a

dven

ture

—m

issi

ng t

he f

amily

of

cour

se, b

ut h

appy

in t

he k

now

ledg

e th

at t

heot

her

Den

nett

was

kee

ping

the

hom

e fi

res

burn

ing.

I c

ould

be

fait

hful

and

adul

tero

us a

t the

sam

e ti

me.

I c

ould

eve

n cu

ckol

d m

ysel

f—to

say

noth

ing

of o

ther

mor

e lu

rid

poss

ibili

ties

my

colle

ague

s w

ere

all t

oore

ady

to f

orce

upo

n m

y ov

erta

xed

imag

inat

ion.

But

my

orde

al in

Okl

ahom

a (o

r w

as it

Hou

ston

?) h

ad m

ade

me

less

adv

entu

rous

, and

Ish

rank

from

this

opp

ortu

nity

that

was

bei

ng o

ffer

ed (t

houg

h of

cou

rse

I w

as n

ever

qui

te. s

ure

it w

as b

eing

off

ered

to m

e in

the

firs

t pla

ce).

The

re w

as a

noth

er p

rosp

ect e

ven

mor

e di

sagr

eeab

le—

that

the

spar

e,H

uber

t or

Yor

ick

as th

e ca

se m

ight

be,

wou

ld b

e de

tach

ed fr

om a

nyin

put f

rom

For

tinb

ras

and

just

left

det

ache

d. T

hen,

as

in th

e ot

her

case

, the

re w

ould

be

two

Den

nett

s, o

r at

leas

t tw

o cl

aim

ants

to

my

nam

e an

d po

sses

sion

s, o

ne e

mbo

died

in F

orti

nbra

s, a

nd t

he o

ther

322 BRAINSTORMS Where Am I? 323

sadly, miserably disembodied. Both selfishness and altruism bade metake steps to prevent this from happening. So I asked that measures betaken to ensure that no one could ever tamper with the transceiverconnections or the master switch without my (our? no, my) knowl-edge and consent. Since I had no desire to spend my life guarding theequipment in Houston, it was mutually decided that all the electronicconnections in the lab would be carefully locked: both those that con-trolled the life-support system for Yorick and those that controlledthe power supply for Hubert would be guarded with fail-safe devices,and I would take the only master switch, outfitted for radio remotecontrol, with me wherever I went. I carry it strapped around my waistand—wait a moment—here it is. Every few months I reconnoiter thesituation by switching channels. I do this only in the presence offriends of course, for if the other channel were, heaven forbid, eitherdead or otherwise occupied, there would have to be somebody whohad my interests at heart to switch it back, to bring me back from thevoid. For while I could feel, see, hear and otherwise sense whateverbefell my body, subsequent to such a switch, I'd be unable to con-trol it. By the way, the two positions on the switch are intentionallyunmarked, so I never have the faintest idea whether I am switchingfrom Hubert to Yorick or vice versa. (Some of you may think that inthis case I really don't know who I am, let alone where I am. But suchreflections no longer make much of a dent on my essential Dennett-ness, on my own sense of who I am. If it is true that in one sense Idon't know who I am then that's another one of your philosophicaltruths of underwhelming significance.)

In any case, every time I've flipped the switch so far, nothing hashappened. So let's give it a try. . . .

"THANK GOD! I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER FLIP THAT SWITCH!You can't imagine how horrible it's been these last two weeks—butnow you know, it's your turn in purgatory. How I've longed for thismoment! You see, about two weeks ago—excuse me, ladies and gentle-men, but I've got to explain this to my . . . urn, brother, I guess youcould say, but he's just told you the facts, so you'll understand—about two weeks ago our two brains drifted just a bit out of synch. Idon't know whether my brain is now Hubert or Yorick, any morethan you do, but in any case, the two brains drifted apart, and ofcourse once the process started, it snowballed, for I was in a slightlydifferent receptive state for the input we both received, a differencethat was soon magnified. In no time at all the illusion that I was incontrol of my body—our body—was completely dissipated. There wasnothing I could do—no way to call you. YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

I EXISTED! It's been like being carried around in a cage, or better,like being possessed—hearing my own voice say things I didn't mean tosay, watching in frustration as my own hands performed deeds Ihadn't intended. You'd scratch our itches, but not the way I wouldhave, and you kept me awake, with your tossing and turning. I've beentotally exhausted, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, carriedaround helplessly by your frantic round of activities, sustained onlyby the knowledge that some day you'd throw the switch.

"Now it's your turn, but at least you'll have the comfort of know-ing I know you're in there. Like an expectant mother, I'm eating—orat any rate tasting, smelling, seeing—for two now, and I'll try to makeit easy for you. Don't worry. Just as soon as this colloquium is over,you and I will fly to Houston, and we'll see what can be done to getone of us another body. You can have a female body—your bodycould be any color you like. But let's think it over. I tell you what—tobe fair, if we both want this body, I promise I'll let the project direc-tor flip a coin to settle which of us gets to keep it and which then getsto choose a new body. That should guarantee justice, shouldn't it? Inany case, I'll take care of you, I promise. These people are my wit-nesses.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this talk we have just heard is not exactlythe talk I would have given, but I assure you that everything he saidwas perfectly true. And now if you'll excuse me, I think I'd—we'd-better sit down."'