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CoMeDy Issue2010 April Edition

April Fool’s Day Poem

This was the day,Which made me pray

‘Cause my teacher said,That there was a test ahead.

We’d have to learn fraction,decimals & subtraction.

We’d have to learn Greek,Korean & Japanese all in one week.

We’d have to learn the plays of Shakespeare I can surely tell you this was going to be my worst nightmare.

We’d have to study the life of Picasso and Newton,And study about the inventions they had done.

Just when we thought that our heads might explode,by learning about Ancient Greek or by dissecting a toad,

my teacher said the best thing she could say,That she was kidding because it’s APRIL FOOL’S DAY!

- Sana Samad

- April Fool’s Day Poem

- BISSKIT takes on one of its funniest teachers....

- Top 10 pranks! Enjoy reading ;)

- No Homework XD

- Chinglish

- Teen Ache: T’s Column

- BISS Fashion Police

- BISS Updates

Hey guys! So as you may have guessed already this issue is the April Fool’s issue, or as the title says - Comedy Issue. Now we know that most people don’t even read this section or perhaps don’t even pick up the BISSKIT issues or read them online. I know you all have better things to do and you sometimes can’t be bothered to even look at this magazine. As a thank you to those who do read BISSKIT, and to those of you reading right now, as an April Fool’s treat we will be giving out snicker bars to anyone who comes to the art room on April Fool’s day during lunch time. The offer only lasts till 1 PM. Hope to see you there!!!..... or not!

In Thi

s

Issue.

..

2010

FOR APRIL WE INTERVIEWED ONE OF THE MOST FUNNIEST

TEACHERS IN OUR SCHOOL WHO LIKES TO JOKE AROUND ALOT

Mr. V

Interviewed by

Hyun Jin

Here are some facts we wanted to know:

How many different countries have you lived in?Three: India, Japan and China

Where did you meet your wife?I met her in India.

Do you like Beijing?Yes I do. I like the workplace, apartment, Chinese food and cost of products is cheap! Not compared to India, but as I came straight from Japan, it’s much cheaper than there. However, it is more polluted!

Next, some of his opinions:

Who is prettier; Angelina Jolie or Aishwariya Rai?Of Course, Aishwariya Rai.

Who do you think will win the cricket match if India played against Australia?India no doubt!

Who do you think will win the cricket match if India played against South Africa?India is the number one!

Who do you think will win the cricket match if India played against Bangladesh?India.

Now for some general knowledge questions, just to see how much he knows:

What country borders Nepal, Bangladesh and Pakistan?India….? (Confused. Some of you know that look)

What country starts with "i" and ends with an "a" and has five letters?India….! (Suspicious)

In which country did Bollywood originate?India….!! (He's on to us!)

Which country has the Himalayan Mountains on its map?India!!!!!! (Controlling his annoyance... may be not)

What country is the Indian Ocean named after?India!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What country are you from?Alright, South Korea. (Sure, Mr.V! We'll let you have this one!)

Haha, it was fun to interview him! And for those of you who have class with him, you can probably imagine what his expressions were like!

And a special thanks to Mr.V for playing along :)

We asked questions to find out just how patriotic he is :) Read on and join the fun!

On 16th April, this year, we will be having a silent day, where Grade 10 students will be silent for the whole day. They are following the example of John Francis, an environmentalist, who stopped talking for 17 years after witnessing the devastation caused by a 1971 oil spill in San Francisco bay. He stopped talking because he wanted to listen more to people. On ‘The Day of Silence’ there will be card games, charades and lots of fun silent activities for the students to participate. It is a great way to get involved in Silent Day and earn points for your house. There will be a survey on wiki spaces to see if the other grades apart from Grade 10 will want to get involved. The link for

Whatamess Project will be handed to homeroom teachers. So the students will know what’s going on.

BISS UPDATES

Only four weeks left to BISS’ own MUN conference. It is an opportunity to show to all, that at

BISS world issues are of a great concern. Some delegates have already begun to prepare for this

important event that will be held on April 27th and 28th as they try to formulate propositions

and suggestions that may help to create a better global community. Their creative plans will

undoubtedly open our eyes to issues that are of immense concern in the twenty first century. It

is with great anticipation that we await this important event.

BISSMUN Organizing Committee

CONGRATULATIONS to Helping Hands!!SPORTS FOR SUPPORT this year earned more than

RMB 22,000 :)

CONGRATULATIONS to the RevFest Group!!We earned more than

RMB 10,000 :)

TOP 10 PRANKSAprils Fools day is here! This is the time to take some sweet and sour revenge and have a bit of fun. The emphasis is having fun rather than creating humiliation.

Here are some Classic pranks. Some pranks that come with a warning and we don’t recommend them. They are a giggle though.

By Varsha Raghav

Pranks that come with Warning!!!!1. Try to relive good old childhood memories. I think this prank will do it all. Ring the bell

of a house and run away, as simple as that.

2. In the morning, when your parents are asleep, put a bit of dye (preferably dark color) on the toothbrush and just to make it a bit more fun, add a pinch of salt on it for it to stay longer. When they go out they will have colored teeth and a funky smile.

3. If your teacher drinks coffee, when he leaves the classroom, add a lot of salt in his/her coffee. Look for their reaction when they return.

4. Switching the "Pull" and "Push" signs on a set of doors. Watch as people get confused trying to open the doors.

5. The electric Pen. Hey! Can I get your signature? Enough said.

Readers Disclaimer: For any ac2on taken as a result of reading this ar2cle, BISSKIT will not be responsible.

1. The ‘whoopee cushion’ never ever gets old. It is one of the classic pranks. We can never get enough of it. Just place it on a chair and wait for someone to sit on it.

2. This is the classroom joke in which everyone has to know about it in order for it to work on the teacher. Just needs a bit of co-operation. Every time the teacher turns his/her back, all the students to change their seats.

3. Raise your hand and ask to go to the nurse and say, "I SEE DEAD PEOPLE."

4. Get a small alarm clock and set it for 3:00 a.m. Sneak under the victim's bed. Once it goes off, he/she won't be able to find it will drive them nuts.

5. Glue some money on the pavement and wait for people to pass by and try to pick them up.

Classic Pranks

Note: Some pranks in this ar2cle have been taken from:h*p://www.examiner.com/x‐3958‐Atlanta‐Green‐Paren?ng‐Examiner~y2009m3d31‐The‐Top‐10‐April‐Fools‐pranks‐for‐parents‐and‐kids

ChinglishI’m sure most of you are familiar with the phrase Chinglish. For those who aren’t, it is simply the butting heads of the words, Chinese, and English. The phrase is commonly used when there is miscommunication, or misleading translation from Chinese to English. Below are some very entertaining, and most definitely embarrassing incidents of Chinglish. Enjoy, or should I say,

hope it is happy that the picture is brought to you.

Oh darn, I was thinking of slipping carelessly Why, aren't you charming?

By Annie

Sally Kwon

Happy April Fools day! I was kidding

Then why am I more amused by the sign?

No Homework Starting next year, June 11th

It is a well known fact that homework is a nightmare for students who need more free time and sleep. Homework is given too often and is very time consuming. Teachers seem to forget that students have lives too and that they don’t want to spend the rest of their days slaving over homework. We want to learn but we also need time to rest. Is homework that necessary that we have to be up until 12 AM? Well, I don’t think so. And BISS didn’t think so. So we are running a no-homework school starting next year from June 11th of 2010 and some classes such as Ms. Laing’s English class have recently started to practice the no-homework classroom.

BISS AGREES WITH THE STUDENTS AND ABOLISH GRADES STARTING JUNE 11TH.

For all the reasons explained above at the last Secondary school assembly, BISS will abolish homework but lengthen class time from 345 minutes per day to 400 minutes per day, adding approx.10 minutes on average to each period. There are different opinions among students, however a majority agreed that they were stressed and their parents also appreciated the decision and were pleased to see the rather enthusiastic and energetic faces of their kids.

Note:Thepicturesusedinthisar?clehavebeentakenfromh*p://haydenchoi.xanga.com/

Teen Ache: T’s Advice ColumnFor your daily troubles in and out of school

Dearest readers, Hello! It is that time again. That time where I write a whole paragraph imploring you all to send in questions to me. I’m so good at answering questions! That is how awesome I am. Do you know what they’re doing here in the BISSKIT offices? They’re thinking of bringing in another columnist. Another one! Am I not good enough? Is that it? Do you all think I’m not good enough? If this is true I simply do not know what to do. I may even cry. Do you know what the opposite of crying is? It’s laughter! (It’s actually probably not. I don’t know what the opposite of crying is. I don’t know everything! Send me questions anyway.) According to a rather school-inappropriate page from, Go Ask Alice, laughter releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. I’m sure all my lovely readers can deduce the moral of this story: if you’re having a bad day, laughter really is the best medicine. I know it’s difficult to laugh when you feel like poop. That’s what the internet was invented for! So that people can google amusing pictures of people when they feel unhappy and laugh candidly at the sheer outrageousness that exists in the world. Or alternately you could be more social and hang out with your friends. I’m assuming here that your friends make you laugh (why would you befriend someone who makes you feel bad?), and I’m assuming here that you are willing to put forth the slight effort to laugh with them. Trust me, if you let yourself laugh just a little, the rest of it comes very easily.

- Punch pillows. This is especially effective if you’re more angry. It sounds stupid but in reality it is very cathartic.

- Exercise. You can try running, yoga, manly push-ups, whatever you want. Just like laughter, it releases endorphins, which can leave you feeling happier. Also, you’ll be getting in shape and looking really good. Who doesn’t love looking good?

- Take a nap. You’ll probably feel less cranky after you get some rest.- Music. What’s your absolute favorite band ever? What songs make you happy normally? Listen to them.

More often than not, you’ll subconsciously associate these songs to the happy feelings they’d normally give you.

- Cry. Somewhere secret and undisturbed, if you want to preserve your pride and masculinity. Don’t worry, there’s nothing bad about crying. A good tearful self-pity session can really get rid of negative feelings and leave you feeling good as new.

So keep in mind that a bad day isn’t the end of the world and these bad feelings won’t last forever. I shall leave with you a few words of wisdom from a legendary

man: Even though you’re fed up, ya gotta keep ya head up.

Other tips to feeling less sad:

I hope you're all enjoying this lovely month of March. April fools! It's actually April. Since it's the month of trickery, I thought I'd bring to you some interesting and funny clothing ideas to change things and make life a little more interesting. 

BISS Fashion Police

One idea is to dress up in a funny costume and pretend to be somebody else for a day. Change your voice and everything!! This way you can try to live in someone else's shoes for a day. For example, one day you could wear a beret to school and test out your french vocabulary.

Laundry day? No clean matching socks to wear? We've all been there. Next time, don't worry! Wear those crazy mismatching socks and rock a new look. It'll give everybody else the impression that you're a person that likes to have fun and you’re not afraid to experiment.

Most people forget that your clothing is not the only thing you can have fun changing. Believe it or not, you can change up your hairstyle too. Feeling adventurous? Put some colored streaks in your hair. It doesn't have to be permanent hair dye! Washable hair dyes are available everywhere and so are colored extensions. You can also dye your hair your house color to show house spirit, especially on house competition days!

So next time you want to make your day a little more interesting, or you think that your clothes are just drab and mediocre or you’re just looking to have some fun, try 

one of these fun ideas. Have fun this month, and be adventurous and creative!! Happy April Fools Day!!