B’nai Mitzvah Handbook

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Table of Contents

Origins of B’nai Mitzvah ............................................................................................................. 2 Preparations and Expectations .................................................................................................. 3 B’nai Mitzvah Service Summary ................................................................................................. 4 Tzedakah Suggestions ................................................................................................................ 4 B’nai Mitzvah Project ................................................................................................................. 5 B’nai Mitzvah Recommended Reading ...................................................................................... 5 Order of Service .......................................................................................................................... 6 Parent Blessings .......................................................................................................................... 7 Prayer for Torah Service - Other Faiths ...................................................................................... 9 Scheduling & Logistics ................................................................................................................ 9 B’nai Mitzvah Facilities and Fees .............................................................................................. 10 TBO’s Judaica Gift Shop ............................................................................................................ 11 Bima Appropriate Clothing: What to Wear? ........................................................................... 12

Frequently Asked Questions About Bar/Bat Mitzvah………………………………………………………..…13 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Preparation Timeline………………………………………………………………………………..14

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Origins of B’nai Mitzvah

The religious ceremony of Bar Mitzvah (meaning “One who is obligated by the Commandments”) as we know it today is perhaps 600 years old. Prior to that time, the structure was not uniform. Indeed, in the Talmud, the term “Bar Mitzvah” was applied to every adult male Jew, and the age of thirteen was regarded as the age when a boy was ready to assume religious obligations. We can find no mention earlier than the thirteenth or fourteenth century referring to the ceremony of “Bar Mitzvah.” The core of the traditional ceremony was the calling up of the young man for the reading of the Maftir, the final verses of the Torah portion of the week. Further, he was given the honor of reading the Haftarah, a portion from the Prophets. He would then give a discourse, or d’rash, on the materials read. What we do know is how a boy was treated from the time of the ceremony onward: he was required to pray three times every day, was responsible for his own religious and non-religious actions, could be a witness in court proceedings, make his own contracts, become engaged (!), and begin to learn a trade. In today’s society, few, if any, thirteen-year-old young men are ready to assume these responsibilities. However, they have already begun to travel the long road through adolescence, which leads to adult independence and maturity. Bat Mitzvah (the feminine version of “One who is obligated by the commandments”) was introduced into American synagogues in the 1920’s by a Reconstructionist rabbi. He wanted his daughter, and all other girls, to have the same opportunity as their male peers to study and participate in this significant Jewish rite of the passage. In most Reform synagogues, as at Temple Beth Orr, requirements for Bat Mitzvah are the same as for Bar Mitzvah. In the world of liberal Judaism, both young women and men are encouraged to study and prepare to become B’nai Mitzvah. Becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is not only an important life cycle event for each family, but for our congregation as well. Following historical tradition, B’nai Mitzvah at Temple Beth Orr take place during a regularly scheduled worship service so that the entire community can be on hand to help celebrate. It is an important event for our community when a young man or woman steps up to the bima and assumes their responsibilities as a Jewish adult.

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Preparations and Expectations During the fall of the fifth grade year, guardians and candidates will participate in an evening workshop, complete with a community dinner. This is an opportunity to gain information about the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service itself, its preparation, and the Mitzvah project. We will also be providing a calendar detailing available dates. Families will choose three (3) possible dates, and will work with the Rabbi, and Cantor to select the most appropriate date, and whether it will be a morning or afternoon service. Each student will be expected to fulfill certain basic requirements. General knowledge of the siddur (prayer book) and public worship as well as the ability to read, chant, and comprehend Shabbat service prayers, selected portions of the Torah and Haftarah, a Mitzvah project, and a d’rash, or sermon, are considered a minimum. This knowledge prepares our students for direct participation in the worship services and to become an integral part of congregational life. In assuming full Jewish spiritual responsibility, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is expected to continue to attend Religious School through Confirmation in 10th grade. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a substitute for Confirmation, but only one of many meaningful milestones on the road toward Confirmation, graduation, and the fullness of the Jewish life cycle. Regular attendance and participation in synagogue worship prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an important factor, not only in shaping the teen’s relationship to our congregation and our cultural heritage, but in familiarizing him/her with the order, patterns and meaning of our worship service. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student will attend a minimum of six (6) Saturday services prior to becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Another important aspect of preparing to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is developing a sense of community and responsibility for each other. The two years leading up to the B’nai Mitzvah year provides many opportunities for students and their parents to get to know each other and develop friendships. It is our hope and expectation that every child be fully included in the B’nai Mitzvah celebrations and will assist and help each other. As part of the preparation of students to become B’nai Mitzvah, each is asked to volunteer their time, exemplifying Jewish values through their actions by completing a Mitzvah Project. The Rabbi and Cantor will discuss the Mitzvah Project with your family as part of the process, and they are always available for help in selecting an appropriate and meaningful project. In order to become Bar or Bat Mitzvah At Temple Beth Orr, the candidate and his/her family must adhere to the following requirements: 1. Family membership must be in good standing Temple Beth Orr. 2. Student must be enrolled and in good standing within the congregation’s religious school. 3. Student must have a minimum of three years of continuous attendance in religious school. 4. Student participates in Religious School during the entire Bar/Bat Mitzvah year by attending at

least 80% of the classes. 5. Student will attend a minimum of six (6) Shabbat morning worship services at Temple Beth Orr.

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B’nai Mitzvah Service Summary On the Friday evening prior to the Saturday service, the B’nai Mitzvah family will light the Shabbat candles, and the student will lead prayers during the service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah leads the Saturday service, including reading from the weekly Torah and Haftarah portions, and concludes with a d’var torah (sermon) on the meaning of the portion read. The Rabbi will speak directly to the young person reinforcing the meaning of this day. This will be followed by presentations from the Board of Trustees and a member of the B’nai Mitzvah class honoring the significance of the occasion. Parents, as well as additional members of the family, may

be honored by being called up (Aliyot) to recite the blessings before and after each part of the Torah portion is read. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah service is a community celebration, not a private event. Everyone should have an opportunity to say Mazal Tov to the parents and their child. All worshippers are invited to a Kiddush if one is held immediately following the service, but you may hold a small Kiddush for the entire congregation, and then a larger, extended Kiddush luncheon for family and friends.

Photography policy Please note: All posed photography must be finished by 9:40 am for the Shabbat morning service and 4:40 pm for the Shabbat afternoon service. Photography and videography equipment must be completely silent, use only available light, and be mounted on a stationary tripod at the rear of the room and outside all traffic areas. If you wish, you may make special arrangements with the office for family photos at a time other than the actual B’nai Mitzvah. As with all of your vendors, a certificate of liability will need to be furnished to the office.

Tzedakah Suggestions We must remember that becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not something that happens on a particular Shabbat. One truly becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah when he/she has achieved a proper grounding in the sources of Jewish knowledge, has participated in the totality of Jewish life and has become aware of the Jewish value of Tikkun Olam, the understanding that we are partners with God in making the world whole. A part of Tikkun Olam is participating in tzedakah, the mitzvah of sacred giving. It is customary to celebrate life events by giving tzedakah to a charity of your choice. In a world filled with hunger and homelessness, a contribution to the Rabbi Mark Gross Food Closet or, on a larger scale, to Mazon: The Jewish Response to Hunger would be appropriate. Very often families contribute 3% of the cost of the celebration; for example, $300 if the celebration cost $3,000. Information concerning these and other community projects will be offered during the spring B’nai Mitzvah Parent Workshop.

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Donations in Honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: As part of Jewish life, a traditional way to give thanks to God for a joyous event is to make a donation to the community in the name of the one who is being honored, as well as for the honored individual to make a donation as a way of showing appreciation. We recommend that you encourage family and friends to honor the Bar/Bat Mitzvah through a donation to one of the many synagogue funds as found on our website. Many families also make donations to the Rabbi’s, or Cantor’s, Discretionary Fund in appreciation of the role they play in their child’s Jewish education.

B’nai Mitzvah Project

Becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a time of coming of age and giving back to the community. We ask that each student complete 13 hours of a project, one for each year of his or her life. The Rabbi and Cantor will work with each student individually so that their project is personally meaningful and makes an impact in the community. The project needs to be completed before the Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

B’nai Mitzvah Recommended Reading Davis, Judith: Whose Bar/Bat Mitzvah Is This, Anyway? A Guide for Parents Through a Family Rite of Passage, St. Martin’s Griffin, 1998. Leneman, Cantor Helen (ed.): Bar/Bat Mitzvah Basics: A Practical Family Guide to Coming of Age Together, Jewish Lights, 2001. Moscovitz, Patti: The Complete Bar/Bat Mitzvah Book: Everything You Need to Plan a Meaningful Celebration, Career Press, 2000. Salkin, Rabbi Jeffrey K.: Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah,

Jewish Lights, 2007. Salkin, Rabbi Jeffrey K.: For Kids: Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual

Meaning of Your Child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah, Jewish Lights, 2007. Suneby, Liz: The Mitzvah Project Book: Making Mitzvah Part of Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah... and Your

Life, Skylight Paths, 2011. Adelman, Penina Ali Feldman, and Shulamit Reinharz: The JGirl’s Guide: The Young Woman’s

Handbook for Coming of Age, Jewish Lights, 2005. DVD: Keeping up with the Steins, 2006, PG-13.

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Order of Service A student may become Bar or Bat Mitzvah during a 10am Saturday morning service (shacharit) or 5pm Saturday afternoon service (mincha). We highly encourage families to choose a shacharit service, as a mincha service does not include introductory prayers or Haftarah. Although each order of service will be slightly different for every student, there is generalized information about the service that holds true for everyone. Each family will be given a sheet that needs to be filled out by one month prior to the service. It contains the following information: General Information Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date: ______________________________________________________________ Torah Portion name: _______________________________________________________________ Book, Chapter(s) and Verses: ________________________________________________________ Haftarah name: ___________________________________________________________________ Haftarah Book/Prophet, Chapter(s) and Verses: _________________________________________ Honors There are many honors to be distributed to family and friends during a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Please consult with the Rabbi about which honor would be appropriate for Jews and for those of other faiths. Aliyot: There are seven aliyot in a shacharit Torah service, and three in a mincha service. The last aliyah belongs to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and the next-to-last aliyah honors the parents. In a shacharit service, then, up to five groups of people may be called for an aliyah (the Torah blessings). Those who are Jewish will say the Hebrew blessing over the Torah, and those of other faiths will say the alternate English blessing (both blessings are included at the end of this section). At least one person in each grouping must be Jewish.

We encourage family to read Torah in a shacharit service, and will provide you with a chart to fill in that specifies who will read Torah and chant the Aliyah.

Note: A Jewish Name includes the person’s Jewish name plus his/her father and/or mother’s Jewish (Hebrew, Yiddish, Ladino, or Judeo-Arabic) name. If the parents’ Jewish names are unknown, please include their English first name.

If a Bar/Bat Mitzvah student does not have a Jewish name, please contact the Rabbi as soon as possible.

Other family members and/or friends who will take part in the service: Presenting the tallit ________________________________________________________________ Opening the Ark for Torah service _____________________________________________________ Hagbah (lifts the Torah) ____________________________________________________________ G’lilah (dresses Torah) ______________________________________________________________ Prayer for the Congregation _________________________________________________________

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Prayer for Our Nation _____________________________________________________________ Prayer for Israel __________________________________________________________________ Opening the Ark for Aleinu ___________________________________________________________ Congregational Representatives to make presentations: From Board of Trustees _____________________________________________________________ From B’nai Mitzvah Class ____________________________________________________________ In Memorial We recognize that even at joyous occasions we mourn the loss of loved ones. The Rabbi invites you to list those for whom you would like Kaddish to be read: ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________

Parent Blessings After your son or daughter finishes his or her d’rash, or sermon, the parents or guardians will be called to the bima to give a blessing. This blessing should be between 2-3 double-spaced pages and address the following questions:

1) What makes you proud of your child right now? 2) What values do you want them to live by as they grow and mature? 3) Why?

The goal of the blessing is to express your love and care for your child, and never to embarrass them.

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Prayer for Torah Service

Before the reading:

READER: Bar'-chu et A-do-nai ham'-vo-rach! CONGREGATION: Ba-ruch A-do-nai ham’-vo-rach l'-o-Iam va-ed!

READER: Ba-ruch A-do-nai ham'-vo-rach l'-o-lam va-ed! Ba-ruch a-ta A-do-nai, E-lo-hei-nu me-lech ha-o-lam, a-sher ba-char ba-nu mi-kol ha-a-mim, v'-na-tan Ia-nu et Torah-to. Ba-ruch a-tah A-do-nai, no-tein ha-To-rah.

After the reading: READER: Ba-ruch a-ta A-do-nai, E-Io-hei-nu me-lech ha-o-Iam, a-sher

na-tan la-nu To-rat e-met, v'-cha-yei o-lam na-ta b'-to-cheinu. Ba-ruch a-tah A-do-nai, no-tein ha-Torah.

READER

CONGREGATION

READER

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Prayer for Torah Service - Other Faiths (To be read when an individual from any other faith tradition is participating in the Torah Service) Parent:

O God of all humanity:

We lift our voices in gratitude that the Torah has come into the world through the Jewish people.

We lift our voices in gratitude for the ideals it teaches: justice, compassion, devotion; The partnership of mind, heart, and deed.

We lift our voices in gratitude that our son/daughter today takes his/her place among the people of Israel. We pray that he/she will do so with pride and joy. As You called Israel to be a light to the nations, so, too, we pray that our son/daughter will be his/her own ray of light to the world.

Friend/Family Member:

O God of all humanity:

We lift our voices in gratitude that the Torah has come into the world through the Jewish people.

We lift our voices in gratitude for the ideals it teaches: justice, compassion, devotion; The partnership of mind, heart, and deed.

We lift our voices in gratitude that this child today takes his/her place among the people of Israel. We pray that he/she will do so with pride and joy. As You called Israel to be a light to the nations, so, too, we pray that this child will be his/her own ray of light to the world.

Scheduling & Logistics

1. Invitations - It is recommended that every student in the B’nai Mitzvah class be invited to every Bar/Bat Mitzvah service and celebration, so no one feels left out.

x Order at least three months in advance x Mail to guests one to two months before bar/bat mitzvah ceremony. Please be

aware that sometimes a child has two households, and so mail double invitations accordingly.

x The invitation should reflect the significance of the moment. It should emphasize the centrality of the young person within the service, and that this is a religious life cycle event.

Example: “With pride, (parent’s name) and (parent’s name) invite you to share in our simcha as (student’s name) becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah on (day), at (time). Please

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join us at Temple Beth Orr, 2151 Riverside Drive, Coral Springs, FL,33071 . A Kiddush lunch will be held in the Social Hall immediately after the service.”

Another alternative is to set up a Bar/Bat Mitzvah website, such as that found on http://mitzvahs.myevent.com/1/designs.htm. Make your design personal. You can even include information about your Mitzvah Project!

2. Tallit and Kippah- It is customary for the family to give the Bar/Bat Mitzvah a special tallit. Families often order kippot in a particular color(s) for the congregation to celebrate the day, but this is not required. They may be ordered and purchased through our Judaica Gift Shop and should be ordered several months in advance.

3. Flowers for the bima - The temple will provide flowers for the bima on Saturday morning.

4. Friday night Oneg Shabbat – x You may sponsor the Oneg Shabbat if your Bar or Bat Mitzvah falls on the first or

fourth week of the month. Usually there is no Oneg on the second week of the month (but if you would like to host one, please contact the Executive Director).

x You may sponsor Wine and Cheese if your Bar or Bat Mitzvah falls on the third week of the month.

x On all Fridays, a cake honoring the Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be provided by the Temple and will be placed in the Breezeway for enjoying after Kiddush and Motzi.

5. Saturday celebration - The key element in planning the social aspect of this significant occasion is honoring the spiritual nature of this event in your child’s life.

x For a morning (shacharit) service, the celebration may be held either here at TBO or elsewhere.

x If you are planning on holding a mincha (afternoon) service, the celebration afterwards must be in the Temple Beth Orr social hall. All evening events must end, and the premises must be vacated by midnight.

We would love to host your reception. Feel free to make an appointment to discuss the details with our Executive Director.

B’nai Mitzvah Facilities and Fees At the time you request a date for observance of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (usually in the beginning of 5th grade), one half of the $1,400 B’nai Mitzvah fee ($700) is due to the synagogue. The balance can be paid at any time, but must be paid in full not later than six months prior to the B’nai Mitzvah celebration. Tutoring with the Rabbi cannot begin until this final payment has been made. Room fees for use of the Social Hall, Breezeway and Hall of Honors is 15% of the caterer’s bill.

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The temple does not provide table linens, table skirts, dishes or flatware. All caterers, as well as any other vendors, must have a Certificate of Insurance on file in the synagogue office. It is the responsibility of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family to make sure the kitchen is left in the same condition it was found. Rules governing food served at Temple Beth Orr We are a Reform Congregation and endorse the Reform movement’s position that Kashrut is a matter of individual conscience. Our facilities are not Kosher as defined by strict Orthodox standards. Out of respect to the larger community, we ask that you be sensitive to the mixing of milk and meat. You can serve both meat and dairy products, but we ask that you keep them separate to the extent possible. In order to avoid offending those who observe Kashrut, pork products, shellfish and products containing lard may not be served at Temple Beth Orr. It is your responsibility to inform your caterer. For more information, contact Suzanne Andisman, Executive Director at sandisman@templebethorr.org

TBO’s Judaica Gift Shop Come visit TBO’s Judaica Gift Shop. The shop has many beautiful ritual items that would be appropriate for your child’s B’nai Mitzvah. We carry a wide assortment of jewelry, cards, books, boxes, and other gift items, many from Israel. Items to consider:

1) Tallitot – including sets with matching kippah and bag 2) Kippot – for guests, available with name and date inscription. 3) Books 4) Jewelry –Israeli made jewelry and Star of David, chai, mezuzah or hamsa pendant. 5) Small Torah Scroll – available with lucite stand 6) Bookends 7) Candlesticks 8) Kiddush Cups

We would be happy to special order items. We have access to several wholesale distributors of Judaica objects. Please feel free to browse through our catalogs while in the shop.

Please allow adequate time to purchase the items that you want. In most cases, we can get merchandise within 7-10 business days, but try to make an appointment at least a month prior to the event. This will greatly increase your enjoyment of the time leading up to the “big day.” This is a very special event in your child’s life, and we’re sure for you, as parent(s) as

well. If you have any questions please contact us, we’d be more than happy to help. Please email Trudy Aaronson at beast147@gmail.com to schedule an appointment.

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Bima Appropriate Clothing: What to Wear? What do you wear on the bima? Your clothing should be appropriate to sacred space and sacred time, reflect modesty and humility before God, and be dignified and festive without being ostentatious.

At your Bat/Bar Mitzvah, YOU are representing the entire congregation.

x If what you’re wearing distracts from the service and your role in it, choose other clothing to wear.

x This is not about you! It’s about prayer, God, and our community. It’s not the time or place for attracting attention.

What do I wear on my special day? x Wear clean, simple clothing that

you might wear to a job interview. x Wear clothing that doesn’t

distract from the religious service. (That is, clothes that don’t reveal thighs, cleavage, midriff, undergarments, and aren’t see-through.)

x Wear clothing that respects everyone’s comfort level. Don’t wear clothes that you’d wear to a pool party or the beach.

x Wear clothing that your friends won’t describe as “sexy, sleazy, skimpy or sloppy.”

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Frequently Asked Questions About Bar/Bat Mitzvah We will glad to e-mail you this information if you would like to distribute to family and/or friends. E-mail sandisman@templebethorr.org or call the temple office to receive an electronic version. What exactly is a bar or bat mitzvah? Bar mitzvah (bat mitzvah for a girl) is Hebrew for “son (daughter) of the commandment.” At 13, Jewish young people begin to assume adult responsibilities of Jewish life. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will lead parts of the Saturday morning Sabbath service at the synagogue. He/she will read or chant several prayers; and chant from the Torah, the scroll which contains the first 5 books of the Bible in Hebrew. He/she will also give a sermon and explain how his/her Torah portion is relevant to today’s world. What should I wear? Since this is a religious service, you should wear clothes that show respect for yourself, for others, and for a house of worship. Please avoid bare shoulders, bare midriffs, very short skirts, and shorts. Clothes that are neat, clean and on the modest side are appropriate. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be wearing formal clothing, but you don’t have to go that route. If you are going to the party in the evening, you can dress up or down as appropriate – the party is not a religious event. You’ll see some people wearing a kippah (pronounced “kee-pah”), which is a simple, round head covering that is a way of showing respect. It is in no way implies adherence to the Jewish religion or a belief in God. It is traditionally worn only by males; however, at Temple Beth Orr, it is optional for both men and women. You will see a basket of them as you enter the synagogue, so don’t worry about rushing out to buy your own! You’ll also see some people wearing a fringed prayer shawl, called a tallis or tallit. This signifies that the person wearing it is has become a bar or bat mitzvah. How long is the service, and what am I supposed to do during it? The Shabbat morning service at our synagogue begins at 10:00am, and attendees should be seated before then. You might plan to arrive with someone else, so you can arrive and sit with a friend. The service usually ends between 11:15 and 11:30am. While some of the service may seem foreign to you, you can follow and read along as you feel comfortable. In the prayer book, you’ll see that all the Hebrew is translated. The service leaders will frequently announce page numbers. Everyone will stand and sit at different points, and you are welcome to participate in a way that you are comfortable with. Enjoy and listen to the music; in Jewish tradition, it’s always okay to sing or hum along when the congregation is singing, even if you don’t know the words. Please respect the congregants and the synagogues by refraining to chat among yourselves when the service is going on. Also, please make sure to silence your cell phones and refrain from taking pictures during the service. I’ve heard there are gifts involved. What kind, if any? Your presence is better than presents. Becoming a bar/bat mitzvah is a major milestone in a student’s Jewish education, and you honor your friends by worshipping and celebrating with them. You can tell them “Mazel Tov!” which means “Congratulations!” in Hebrew. Some people choose to mark the occasion by making a donation to a favorite cause in honor of the young adult or give a small token gift, such as a gift card. If one chooses to give a gift, it is more appropriate to bring it to the celebration than into the synagogue. But please know that there is absolutely no obligation or expectation to give a gift. Again, your presence is present enough!

Temple Beth Orr Bar & Bat Mitzvah Preparation Time Line

2 - 2.5 years in advance

18 months in advance

10-15 months in advance (6th grade)

ADMINISTRATIVE

SCHEDULE:

Select date (5th grade year) and confirm with Office Manager.

$700 due with date selection form in order for date to be held on temple calendar.

Workshops with clergy & Executive Director (3 sessions during the 6th grade)

ACADEMIC SCHEDULE:

Hebrew Diagnostic with the Cantor

(if necessary)

10-12 months in advance

9 months in advance

6 months in advance

3-4 months in advance

2 months in advance

1 month in advance

1 day in advance

ADMINISTRATIVE SCHEDULE:

Ensure that membership remains current Meet with Administrator to finalize details

Friday before

10:30am-12:00pm

Final family

rehearsal with the Cantor and

Rabbi.

$700 final

deposit due to office.

ACADEMIC SCHEDULE:

You will receive a

letter from the Cantor to start

scheduling study sessions.

Attend Friday night services

every week on a regular basis

Weekly sessions with the Cantor.

PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE

Continue

studying with the Cantor.

Come to services on a regular basis.

You will receive instructions from the office regarding the first meeting with Rabbi. Family will

meet to discuss the Order of Service,

sermon preparation and rehearsal

schedule.

Practice reading out of the Torah with the Cantor.

Write sermon with

Rabbi.

1st Rehearsal with Rabbi.

Complete Order of Service and return

it to the Office Manager.

Students will attend services regularly beginning 15 months prior to their Bar/Bat Mitzvah, including participation in a minimum of 4 Shabbat evening services in the 6 weeks prior to their becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah.