“Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our cod-less pond”

AUGUST ISSUE 2012

CADS REPORT

CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK and the Netherlands from anonymous news sources.

Non compos mentis

The 1900 Paris Olympics

Since when were Cricket and Golf Olympic games?

Special Cricket and Golf Olympic games

Queen to parachute into giant golf hole wearing cricket pads

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CADS Cricket Lunch July 2012

Great weather, a very warm welcome by VRA Chairman John Worries, a marvellous buffet and a fabulous day’s cricket between Netherlands and Gloucestershire made for a memorable CADS Lunch. We give it a 9.

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Run to the 19th hole,it’s Jack “The Golden bear”

Nicklaus.

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Oddly Enough Global NewsDriver swerves to avoid moose, hits bear instead

Amstelveen residents asked to look out for renegade hippoResidents in the Amsterdam suburb of Amstelveen have been asked to keep a look-out for a renegade young hippopotamus that is popping up in gardens and roads after moving into a suburban beer lake.  City officials are hoping the two-year-old calf will return back to its pod after making a brief appearance at a recent CADS lunch rehearsal where, judging by the smile in this photo, he looked like he’d had one too many.

LONDON - Gibbons are jungle divas. The small apes use the same technique to project their songs through the forests of southeast Asia as top sopranos singing at the New York Metropolitan Opera or La Scala in Milan.

Gibbons on helium sing like opera stars

OSLO - A Norwegian driver who swerved his car on a rural road to avoid running into a moose hit a bear in-stead, authorities said on Thursday.

SAVONLINNA, Finland - A Finnish teenager won a mobile phone throwing contest on Saturday by hurling his old Nokia phone 101.46 meters.

Finn throws Olympic distance with old Nokia

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CADvertisingThe Elfin SailingSunday Sept 9, 2012. 13:00On the 9th of September, it is Open Monument Day in The Netherlands, and as a contributor to the Elfin charity, CADS members have been invited to sail on the boat. This is a rare opportunity, and if you want to participate, please reserve a place quickly with Sue Bennion at sue.peter@zonnet.nl. The Elfin will sail from her regular berth at Zuidende in Wormerveer at 1300 on the 9th Sep-tember, returning about 4 hours later. A contribu-tion of 30 Euros to the fuel costs is requested for each person attending. You can see more about the Elfin at

www.elfin.nl.

Amsterdam Business Lunch and Workshop: ‘How to Become a Brand in Holland’. Sunday Sept 9, 2012. 13:00

CADS has close links with the Amsterdam Business Lunch networking group, run by CADS member Craig Welsh. The next Business Lunch, on 7th Sept, combines the Lunch with a workshop by fellow CAD Benno Pieters, on how to become a brand in Holland using Social Media.It will be held at the IGC (De Industrieele Groote Club) on Dam Square and costs €29 for the lunch, and €95exc BTW for the workshop.

This event will interest those of you who want to grow your business opportunities! To reserve your place con-tact Craig at craig.welsh@spectrum-ifa.com or visit the site at:

www.amsbizlunch.com

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’s Corner Aug Issue 2012

Informal Apollo Terrace lunchetteIf the good weather holds, we intend to have an informal lunch on the Apollo terrace in August. There is no speaker, but we will have some fun and games.

A good walk ruinedAnd golfers, don’t forget to reserve your place for the CADs golf competition on September 14th. Registration is at 1230, and dinner after the game at 1830.

WATERS

One of his more astonishing claims in

court is that all the money was redepos-ited to the company

account in Northern Cyprus, in local

currency, by his mother.

The prosecution noted that using the highest

denomination bank notes available the

deposit would weigh 135 tonnes.

Mr Nadir is 71.

The annual outing to the cricket is fast becoming something of a CADS tradition. Thanks are due to John Richardson, our copywriter and infamous cricketer, who

once again organised a superb lunch in a marquee overlooking the cricket, where members watched the Dutch team taking on Gloucestershire in the Clydesdale Bank 40 over match. CADS were treated to free entry to the match, in addition to lunch and drinks. The sun shone, and Mike Carn stood in for your chairman, who was absent in Rus-sia; a good time was had by all.

MIKEAsil Nadir: still guilty, then, after all these yearsBy the time you read this the jury will have returned its verdict in the Asil Nadir case at the Old Bailey. For those of you who remem-ber the 1980’s, this is the gentleman who allegedly ripped off Polly Peck International, draining 150m GBP of its cash into his pri-vate bank accounts in Cyprus and precipitat-ing Polly Peck’s bankruptcy with 550m GBP of debts.

Polly Peck was a major Tory party contribu-tor and Michael Mates, the Tory cabinet min-ister, was kind enough to provide the private ‘plane in which Nadir fled from England to Northern Cyprus. Mates also gave Asil a part-ing gift of a gold watch, inscribed with the message ‘don’t let the buggers get you’. This presumably referred to the Serious Fraud squad, who were hot on his heels. Asil has been lying low in Cyprus until recently, when he returned to the UK to ‘clear his name’ at the Old Bailey. His Tory pals have led him to believe it is a slam dunk to fix the case so he can move back to London with his wife Nur, aged 28.