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Communicating Effectively
The Effective DRE A Skills Development Series
What is Communication? Natural ability Learned behavior A process A responsibility Simultaneous sending and receiving of
messages The response of one human being to the
symbolic behavior of others
Let’s Talk About Language
The Nature of Language
Language is symbolic Language shapes our perception
Language and Context Language can be abstract Never assume that everyone shares
the same meanings Provide your definition of a word when
you want people to use it…and explain it.
Repeat it often Religious language is abstract by
nature, so be aware of that and careful
Language Reflects Attitudes
Pronoun choices Placement of words Directness Duration Time
Language Can Enrich Relationships
“It” “You” “I” “We” “Me” “But”
Let’s Talk About Listening
Why Listening Can Be Difficult
Message overload Preoccupation with personal
concerns Ability to think fast, spare time in
the mind Value talking over listening Not trained to listen
Styles of Listening
One-way or passive listening Two-way or active listening
Guidelines for Effective Listening Choose the proper environment Stop talking Concentrate on the Speaker’s Ideas, Not
Your Own Agenda Do Not Be Overly Critical Listen for Main Points and Supporting
Evidence Share Responsibility for Communication Ask Questions for Clarification Use Active Listening
Let’s Talk About Nonverbal Communication
What is Nonverbal Communication?
Communication without words Kinesics Proxemics Paralanguage
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication
Intuitive Subliminal Continuous Symbolic/Ambiguous Culture-bound
Kinesics
Kinesics is the study of body movements in communication
Intentional gestures Unintentional gestures (“yawn”)
Proxemics
Proxemics is how the use of space communicates
Physical arrangement of setting Distance between people The “psychic bubble” “Personal space”
Paralanguage
How you say it Stress, pitch, rate, pauses,
inflections, loudness, enunciation, and tone
“Good dog”
Let’s Talk About Small Group Dynamics
The Nature of Small Group Communication Awareness Clear statement of goals “Gate-keeping” Cohesiveness Stages of development
Acquaintance Level Defining of goals and purpose Power and control Constructive stage Intimate exchange of information
Facilitation growth in the group Solicit their input directly Quick to affirm and reinforce
contributions Clarify and encourage
Recognizing and Using the Gifts and Talents of Others Feedback Be sure that there is a level of trust in
the group before giving feedback that affirms gifts and talents
Be clear and objective about your feedback
Avoid interpretation or evaluation Relate feedback to recent events, not
past
Small Group Decision-Making
Groups make more effective decisions because groups have more resources than individuals
Groups are more accurate because more variables are considered
Groups have greater commitment to the decision made
4 Steps to Small Group Decision Making
Identify the problem Analyze the problem Develop and evaluate alternative
solutions Implement the plan
Let’s Talk About Resolving Interpersonal Conflict
Types of Interpersonal Conflict
Direct confrontation Perceived scarce rewards Interdependence Conflicts arise because we need
each other
Resolving Conflict
Nip It!! The Sandwich The Mirror The Permission Question
Six Steps to Resolve a Conflict Identify the Problem and Unmet Needs
Before Confronting the Person Set Up an Appointment with the Person Describe the Problem and Unmet
Needs Face to Face Allow the Other Person to Respond Restate What Has Just Been
Communicated Negotiate a Solution
Let’s Talk About Public Speaking
Purpose and Goals
Public Communication is purposeful
Develop a Specific Goal
Audience Analysis
Plan with hearers in mind Know audience demographics Realize that your speech is
surrounded by listener expectations
Organizing the Message
Formulate a thesis statement: 1 sentence
Prepare the speech by outlining first: Intro, Body, Conclusion
Intro is extremely important Welcome Prayer
Introduction after Prayer
Rhetorical Question Startling Statement Interesting Quotation Illustration or Story Humorous Anecdote
Preview Material for Audience Formula: “Tell them what you are going to
say, say it, tell them what you said.” Remember, we are fast thinkers--mind
wanders Lots of repetition 3 Main Ideas Amplify 3 Ideas with
Additional info Resources Stats Examples: Personal
Build in Transitions, let people know where you are going next
Make conclusion clear with a transition
Ending should be good, tie it together
Delivering the Message “Extemporaneous Speaking” is not “off the
cuff” Plan the speech well, use an outline If you have to use a manuscript:
Short Paragraphs Stiff paper, type on one side only, clearly
numbered Rehearse often Take your time, vary your speed, concentrate
on ideas not words
Memorization is dangerous If you are called to do a
spontaneous talk, remember the W’s: Who, What, Why, When, Where
Be positive, the audience is on your side
Intro, Body, Conclusion
Communication Apprehension
Be Rational Be Receiver-Oriented Be Positive Be Prepared Pray Before You Speak
Let’s Talk About the Written Word and Interpersonal Relationships
Newsletter
One page Reflective and Inspirational Information Items at the end and
keep to a minimum Newsletters are for affirmation, not
criticism
Handwritten Notes
Lost art A good and thoughtful practice
that communicates volumes Can help mend strained
relationships
Memorandum
Functional Use sparingly
Shouldn’t be used a substitute for face to face
It is a great tool and can save lots of time
Formal Letter
“For the record” communication Use when formality is required not
to build relationships
Extra Stuff Not in the Book
Characteristics of Low and High Context Communication Styles
Based on Beyond Culture by Edward T. Hall
Low Context Individual Oriented rely on explicit coding of information being
communicated; less aware of contexts linear logic adjust to new situation quickly conflict may occur because of violations of
individual expectations deal with conflict by revealment direct, confrontational attitude fact finding focus on action and solution open, direct strategies
High Context group-oriented rely heavily on the physical context or the shared
context of the transmitter and receiver; very little is in the coded, explicit, transmitted part of the message
spiral logic take time for contexting in new situation conflict may occur because of violations of collective
expectations deal with conflict by concealment indirect, non-confrontational attitude face saving focus on relationship ambiguous, indirect strategies