DailySelf-DisciplineEverydayHabitsandExercises

toBuildSelf-DisciplineandAchieveYourGoalsByMartinMeadows

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TableofContentsDownloadanotherBookforFreeTableofContentsPrologueChapter1:FundamentalKeysofSelf-Discipline

Commitment’sBestFrenemy:AdversityExercise:BoostYourMotivationwithThisSimpleTrickHowtoBuildanUnwaveringBeliefinSuccessFUNDAMENTALKEYSOFSELF-DISCIPLINE:QUICKRECAP

Chapter2:PhysicalExcellenceLeadstoMasteryinLife

Habit:FollowaWorkoutPlanReligiouslyHowtoNeverQuitYourFitnessProgramSideMission:WinAgainstYourselfHabit:MaintainaHealthyDietHowtoSticktoYourDietDespiteUncontrollableCravingsSideMission:TryIntermittentFastingHabit:WakeUpEarly(orGotoSleepatRegularHours)PHYSICALEXCELLENCELEADSTOMASTERYINLIFE:QUICKRECAP

Chapter3:DiscomfortBuildsCharacter

Exercise:GetComfortablewithColdTemperaturesExercise:DoWithoutSomethingYou“Need”Exercise:RejectionTherapyExercise:FailureTherapyHabit:DotheMostDifficultThingswithNoHesitationExercise:LearnSomethingDifficultDISCOMFORTBUILDSCHARACTER:QUICKRECAP

Chapter4:LivewithIntent

Habit:SharpeningYourAwarenesswithQuietReposeExercise:EmbracingtheTunnelVisionExercise:TalkwithYourFutureSelfExercise:BuildYourCompassLIVEWITHINTENT:QUICKRECAP

Chapter5:BurnoutandDiscouragement–It’sNotAllAboutSelf-Discipline

StretchYourself,butDon’tBreakYourself

PositiveMindsetIsEssentialforMentalToughness(andViceVersa)

HowFocusingonNegativityCanRuinYourSelf-Discipline

WhattoDoWhenYou’reStuckinaFunkorSufferfromNegativeSelf-Talk

BURNOUT AND DISCOURAGEMENT – IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT SELF-DISCIPLINE: QUICKRECAP

EpilogueDownloadanotherBookforFreeCouldYouHelp?AboutMartinMeadows

PrologueIhaven’talwaysbeenadisciplinedperson.InthepastIcouldn’tfolloweventhesimplestroutines.Ihadanunhealthydiet,exercisedlittle(andhence,wasoverweight),anddidn’thavethedisciplinetocommittotheprocessofchangingmyself.

Today,Ifollowastrictroutine.Ihaveamorningroutine,gotothegymthreetimesaweekandregularlypracticeseveralothersportsincludingtennis,cycling,andswimming.Imaintainahealthydietandconstantlyworkonnew,challenginggoalstobecomeabetterperson.

IttookmeyearsbeforeIfinallyunderstoodwhatdisciplineisandhowtoapplyitinmysituation.NowI’dliketosharewhatI’velearnedwithyou.

Inmyfirstbookaboutself-discipline,HowtoBuildSelf-Discipline:ResistTemptationsandReachYourLong-TermGoals, I approached the subjectofbuilding self-discipline from theperspectiveofdevelopingimpulseself-control.

Inthisbookyouwilllearntheinsandoutsofbuildinglong-term,dailyself-disciplineratherthanjustsituationalwillpower.WhileHowtoBuildSelf-Disciplinewasmorefocusedontechniquestodealwithspecificproblems,DailySelf-Discipline is about turningyourself into apersonwhobecomesmoreself-disciplinedwitheachday–andcansuccessfullyusethisskillforpersonalgrowth.

Inadditiontodiscussingtipstohelpyougrowself-discipline,we’llalsodiscussvariouswaystobecomeamentallystrongerperson.Ifyoufinditdifficulttokeeppushinginspiteofobstacles,orifyou feel you lackwillpower to continuewhenmotivation runs out and discomfort kicks in,DailySelf-Disciplineisforyou.

As in all my books, I spend little time discussing theory, instead sharing with you practicalexercises you can implement in your life. Consider this book amenu out of which you can pickvarioustechniquestoseewhichonetastesbestforyou(andproducesthebestresults).

Eachchapterissummedupwithaquickrecaptohelpyoubetterrememberwhatyou’vejustread,soyoucanhaveaquickrefresherwheneveryougobacktoeachsection.

To avoid repeating disclaimers throughout the book – please exercise caution wheneverfollowinganyofmytips–particularlytheonesrelatedtoyourhealth.

I’mnotadoctor,norapsychologist,norapriest,noranyonewithformalcredentialstotellyouwhatyoushoulddowithyourlife.I’mnotqualifiedtomakeanydecisionsforyouorgiveyouanyhealth recommendations – particularly if you suffer from chronic conditions such as diabetes,hypertension,ormentalillnessofanykind(includingmilddepression).

Chapter1:FundamentalKeysofSelf-DisciplineWouldyouliketosucceedwhendietinginsteadofbeingyetanotherpersonwhohasfailed?

Wouldyouliketobecomeasuccessfulbusinessmaninsteadofawannabeentrepreneur?Wouldyouliketobecomeaworld-classperformerinsteadofamediocrejack-of-alltrades?Itallstartswithcommittingyourselftotheprocessandhavinganunwaveringbeliefyourplanis

goingtoworkout.Dietingisaperfectexampleofhowpowerfulcommitmentis.In a paperwrittenbyRenaR.Wing andSuzannePhelan[i], the authors point out that despite “a

generalperceptionthatalmostnoonesucceedsinlong-termmaintenanceofweightloss,researchhasshownthat≈20%ofoverweightindividualsaresuccessfulatlong-termweightlosswhendefinedaslosingatleast10%ofinitialbodyweightandmaintainingthelossforatleast1year.”

TheyalsocitetheexampleofthemembersoftheNationalWeightControlRegistrywhohavelostanaverageof73pounds(33kg)andmaintainedthelossformorethan5years.

Theirsecret?Commitment.These individuals reportedengaging inhigh levelsofphysicalactivity (onaverageat leastone

houraday),eatinga low-caloriediet,monitoring theirweight,andmaintainingaconsistenteatingpatternacrossweekdaysandweekends.Therewasnothingmagicalabouttheirdiets.

Astheauthorsofthepaperemphasize,aftertheseindividualshavesuccessfullymaintainedtheirweightlossfor2–5years,thechanceoflonger-termsuccessisgreatlyincreased.

Whathappensinthosetwotofiveyearsthatmakesthesuccessmorelikely?It’sthemomentwhenyoudeveloplong-termself-discipline,whichistheresultoffollowingyourplandayin,dayout.

WhenIwas21,Iwasover30poundsoverweight.WhenIfinallyrealizedIcouldn’tgoonlikethat,Ipickedadietthatmadesensetome(itwasaslow-carbdietbyTimFerriss[ii])andstucktoitforseveralmonths.ItwasthefirsttimeItriedlosingweight.

IlearnedtheguidelinesandfollowedthemtoaT–includingthemandatorycheatdayattheendofeveryweek(andmindyou,Itookitseriously;youwouldn’tbelievetheamountoffoodIinhaledeachcheatdayandstilllostweighteverysingleweek).

Unlike the majority of first-time dieters, I was successful right away. I didn’t have to try tendifferentdiets.Iachievedmygoalinaboutthreemonths.Ineverwentbacktomyoldphysiqueagain.Justlikethesubjectsofthestudy,maintaininghealthyweightbecameeasyonceIchangedmyhabitsandstucktothem.

Whydidn’tIneedtotrydozensofdietsbeforefinallylosingweight?BecauseIunderstoodthatitdidn’tmatterwhichdietyoufollow(aslongasit’snotaridiculous

single-fooddiet),butwhetheryousticktoitandbelieveinitseffectiveness.Fromtheweightlosspointofview,thekeyisnotthediet.Thekeyisyourabilitytoadheretoa

specificdietandfollowituntilyouachieveyourintendedoutcome.Iwasalsoluckytoblindlybelievemydietwouldwork.Iwasn’ttemptedtotryanyotherdiet.MycertaintyensuredIdidn’thavetojumpfromonediettoanothertoachievemygoal.

A crucial thing to underscore here is the belief that my diet would work. Would I have thedisciplineanddeterminationtokeepgoingifIwasn’tsureabouttheendgoal?Idoubtit.Whenyoucombinebeliefwithcommitment,yougettheperfectmixture.

Thisapproachtodietingcanbeappliedineveryotherareaoflifebyunderstandingit’snotwhatyou do, but whether you do it consistently and with an unwavering belief until you reach yourobjective.

I applied the same approach to self-confidence, learning languages, sports, saving money,writing,andbusiness.Themostimportantprinciple–commitment–becameacrucialsourceofmyself-disciplineandmyspecialsauceforachievement.

However,commitment isn’talwayseasy.Infact,moreoften thannotwehavetofacedoubtandobstaclesmorethanafewtimesbeforewereachourgoals.Andthat’swhyweneedtolearnhowtodealwithanother“A”–adversity.

Commitment’sBestFrenemy:AdversityYoudon’tneedself-disciplinewhenthingsgosmoothly.Afterall,whatcantemptyoutogiveupifyou’rewinning?

Fewpeoplegiveupdietingonthefirstdayorstoptheirworkoutschedulesinthemiddleofthefirstworkout.

It’sonlywhenthingsgetmoredifficult,whenyounolongerhavetheinitialmotivation,thatyoulose discipline and determination. People who are capable of dealing with adversity are betterpreparedtowinagainsttheirweaksideandkeepgoingdespitethetemptationtogiveup.

Andhowdoyoubecomebetterathandlingadversity?Youintroduceitinyourlifeandbefriendit.Whenyoubecomemorecomfortablewithunfavorablecircumstances,you’llbeabletohandlethembetter.

Thepurposeofthisbookistosharewithyouhabitsandexercisestobuildyourmentaltoughness,andconsequentlytheabilitytoflourishevenwhenfacedwithadversity.

Yourself-disciplinewillgrowasaresultofputtingyourselfinunfavorablesituationsandgoingpast them.You’ll alsobecomemoredetermined andmotivated, becausepushing throughobstaclesandreachinggoalsdespitethemwillteachyouthemindsetofawinner.

Exercise:BoostYourMotivationwithThisSimpleTrickThere’sanoldadageoriginatinginthewritingsof11thcenturyPersianSufipoets.Theytellthestoryof apowerfulkingwhoaskswisemen to create a ring thatwill lift his spiritswhenhe’s sad.Thesageshandhimaringwiththewords“Thistoowillpass”etchedonit[iii].

AbrahamLincoln incorporated the story inhisaddressbefore theWisconsinStateAgriculturalSocietyinMilwaukeeonSeptember30,1859:

“ItissaidanEasternmonarchoncechargedhiswisementoinventhimasentence,tobeeverinview,andwhich shouldbe trueandappropriate in all timesand situations.Theypresentedhim thewords:“Andthis,too,shallpassaway.”Howmuchitexpresses!Howchasteninginthehourofpride!Howconsolinginthedepthsofaffliction![iv]”

Eachtimeyoufeeldiscouragedwhentryinganyoftheexercisesorhabitsdescribedinthisbook,usethissimpletricktorealignyourperspective.

Whether you’re facing adversity because you’ve put yourself against it voluntarily (by, say,forcingyourselftowakeupatsixinthemorning)orduetounforeseeablecircumstances,remindingyourselfthateverythingeventuallypassesisapowerfultricktoaidyouinenduringthediscomfort.

Iusethistrickregularlytokeepmyselfcentered–nomatterwhathappens,Iremindmyselfit’stemporaryandthetidealwayseventuallychanges.Itsoundssimplistic,butitworks–justtryit.

HowtoBuildanUnwaveringBeliefinSuccessWhileyoucanneverattain100%certaintythatyou’llachieveyourgoals(doubtisalwaysthere,evenif never voiced), you can take some steps to become more confident in yourself and get moredisciplined,too.

The trick is towatchwhat others havedone to accomplish the samegoal and imitate them.Byfollowing a proven plan, you’ll get rid of a lot of uncertainty coming from following a rarelytraveledpath.

If there are hundreds or thousands of peoplewho have followed a specific plan and achievedsuccess,there’snothingstandinginyourwayofachievingit.

Ifyourgoalistoloseweight,followadietwithlotsofgenuinebefore/afterphotosandstories.Ifyouwanttobuildabusiness,learnfromexperiencedentrepreneurswhohavehelpedhundreds

ofothernewbusinessmen.Ifyouwanttoacquireacertaindifficultskill,learnitfromsomeonewhohasalotofexperience

teachingit(andideally,alotofexperiencewithlearningingeneralsoshecanbetterrelatetoyoursituation).

Theknowledgethatyou’relearningfromsomeonewhohasachievedthesamegoalwillreduceyourself-doubt–afterall,you’llbetravelingaprovenpath,andnotjustwanderinglikeachildlostinthewoods.

Whenyoucombinethisbeliefwithcommitmentandpropermindset(“thistooshallpass”),you’llhavethebasictoolstostartbuildinganiron-likeresolvetokeepgoingnomatterthecircumstances.

All ideassharedinthisbookwillhelpyouinthelongterm.Thegoal is toboostyourbaselineself-discipline,andnotjustgiveyouamomentaryfeelingofself-controlbecauseyouovercameonelittletemptation.

Withthesefundamentalkeysinmind,let’smoveontomorespecificexercisesandhabitsyoucanintroduce in your life to develop your own discipline. Please keep inmind the objective of theseexercises is self-discovery – helping you find out what works for you in terms of building self-disciplineandwhatdoesn’t.

FUNDAMENTALKEYSOFSELF-DISCIPLINE:QUICKRECAP

1. The fundamental keys of self-discipline are commitment (adhering to a specific plan until youachieveyourgoal)andbeliefthatyourlong-termplanisgoingtoworkout.

2.Youdon’tneedself-disciplinewhenthingsgosmoothly.It’sonlywhenplansgosouthyougettempted to give up. Consequently, you need to train yourself to handle adversity. The bestway tobecomemorecapableofdealingwithunfavorablecircumstances is topurposefullyputyourself inthem–whichiswhatthisbookisallabout.

3.Whenever you feel that adversity is toomuch to handle, remindyourself that “this too shallpass.” Every challenge in life is a temporary thing.You can handlemore than you believe if youremindyourselfthatthingswillsoongetbetter.

4.Youneedanunwaveringbeliefinyourplantomakecommitmenteasier.Ideally,followprovenadvicecomingfromacrediblepersonwithlotsofreal-worldexperience.Forinstance,whenlosingweight,pickadietthathasmadethousandsofpeopleslim.Inthecaseofbuildingabusiness,followanoutlineprovidedbyasuccessfulentrepreneur,ideallyintheindustryyou’dliketofollow.Whenlearninganewskill,followtheactionplanlaidoutbyanexperiencedteacher.

Chapter2:PhysicalExcellenceLeadstoMasteryinLifeFewpeoplearebetterexamplesofself-disciplineandcommitmentthanprofessionalathletes.

What an average person seeswhen she looks at an elite performer – say, aworld-class tennisplayer–isthathisabilitiesseemnatural,easy.Sheconcludes,“Hewasbornwithit.Itwasgiventohim.”

Andshecouldn’tbefartherfromthetruth.What she sees is an event – the act ofwinning.What she doesn’t see is thousands of hours of

practice.Hissorebody,countlesshoursofdrills,lostmatches,andeverythingelsethathasmadehimthetennisplayerheistoday.

He had never been bornwith his abilities, and neither is anyone else. It’s the result of a longprocesstakingyearsordecades,notmeredaysorweeks.

Apartofhisachievementmighthavesomethingtodowithhisinnatetalent–physicalstrengthslikegreathand-eyecoordination.However,ifitwasn’tforthedailyself-disciplinetobringoutthosestrengths,hewouldneverhavebecomeaworld-classtennisplayer.

Workingonyourphysiquetoincreaseyourspeed,strength,orflexibilityisaperfectintroductionto theworld of building self-discipline. Youwon’t achieve any of these goalswithout dedication,long-termplanning,anddetermination.

According to researchconductedforCenters forDiseaseControlandPrevention,34.9%ofUSadultsareobese[v]. Inotherwords, it’ssafe tosaya largepartof theWesternworldhasneverhadmuch experience with sports for long enough to develop strong habits of self-discipline andpersistence. If theyhad, theyprobablywouldn’tbeobese,becausedeveloping these traitsgeneratespermanentlifestylechangesthataren’tobesity-friendly.

CharlesDuhigg,authorofThePowerofHabit[vi],callsregularphysicalactivityakeystonehabit–capable of introducing severalmore positive habits as side effects of the first change.A study byStevenN.Blair,DavidR.JacobsJr.andKennethE.Powellshows[vii]thatregularphysicalactivitymaylead to reduced overeating, smoking, alcohol consumption, and risk taking. By adding physicalactivitytoyourdailyroutine,youcandevelopthesepositivesidehabitsalmostautomatically.

Forthisreason,physicalexcellenceisanessentialpartofbuildingadisciplinedlife.Andno,I’mnot talking about becoming a world-class athlete or a perfectly sculpted human being. Constantlyworking on your health and fitness – to your capabilities and genetics, not comparing yourself toothers–iswhatbuildsagreatdealofdisciplineinlife.

Youcan’tbuildastrongbodyinafewmonths,whichmakesitaperfectactivitytoaddasoneofyourdailyself-disciplinebuildinghabits.Whenyouadheretoaspecificroutineformonthsoryearsonendandyoustartseeingtheresults,youcan’thelpbutlearntorespecttheprocess.It’swhenyouswitchfromtheevent-orientedtotheprocess-orientedlifewhenthemagichappens.

AsMJDeMarco,bestsellingauthorofTheMillionaireFastlane:Crack theCode toWealthandLiveRich for a Lifetime[viii],writes in his book, “Success demands your focused exercise into thejourneyandthetoolsofthatjourney(process)asopposedtothedestination(event).”

Habit:FollowaWorkoutPlanReligiouslyGymattendance(oranyotherkindoffitnessactivitydoneonaregularbasis)isausefulindicatorofhowdisciplinedyouare.

Ameta-analysisconductedbyRyanRhodesattheUniversityofVictoriainBritishColumbiaandGert-JandeBruijnat theUniversityofAmsterdam[ix] shows thatamong thepeoplemakingfitness-relatedNewYear ’sresolutions,46%ofthemquitbyJune.

GymMembership Statistics by InternationalHealth, Racquet& SportsclubAssociation[x] showevenworse numbers – 67%of peoplewith gymmemberships never use them.The gyms actuallymakemoremoneyonpeoplewhodon’tusethemthantheoneswhodo.

Let’sguesshowdisciplinedthesepeopleare...Therearetwopiecesofthepuzzleatplaytoachieveanidealphysique.Thefirstoneisphysical

activity.Thesecondone–arguablymoreimportant–ismaintainingtheproperdiet.Both regular physical activity and a healthy diet require a dose of daily discipline.When you

follow these twohabitsdaily, you’ll build apowerful sourceofdisciplineyou’ll be able touse toachieveothergoalsinyourlife.

Let’sstartwithphysicalactivity.Sincethisisnotafitnessbook,Iwon’tgiveyouanexactplantofollow.Justlikethere’snoperfectplanwhendieting,there’salsonoperfectplanforexercise.

Theonlyrequirementistointroducesomekindofatrackingsysteminyourweeklyscheduleandsticktoit.Forinstance,you’llexerciseonaverageanhouraday,anddoitnomatterwhat.Neitherweather,laziness,noryourfriendscomingoverforaweekendwilldeteryoufromexercising.

I’mpartialtoweightliftingandotheranaerobictypesofexercisethatcanbuildmuscleandhelpyou achieve a stronger, good-looking physique (and that applies to both men and women – dearladies,don’tbeafraidyou’llgetbulky).

Anaerobicexerciseischaracterizedbyshortduration(upto2minutes[xi]),highintensityactivitiesthatleadtoincreasedstrength,speed,power,andmusclemass.

Goodchoiceshereinclude:-weightlifting– as alreadymentioned, it’s probably thebest choice formost people due to its

ability to develop your entire body in perfect harmony (contrary to a popular image, properweightlifting isn’t about building huge biceps, but about building a strong body with healthyproportions)

- sprinting–particularlyhill sprints,whichare safer for joints,moreeffective for fat loss, andmuchmoredemandingthanregularsprintsonflatterrain[xii].

- swimming – when done in short, high-intensity bursts of activity instead of an hour-longmarathon.

-yoga–canbeahealthywaytobuildawell-rounded leanbodyforbothgenders.Maintaininguncomfortableposesis,initself,agreatdiscipline-buildingexercise.

- calisthenics (body weight exercises) – can be a perfect replacement for weightlifting if youconstantlyprogresstomoredifficultexercises.

Allofthesesportssupportbuildingabalanced,muscular,andhealthybody.Gettingtheseresultsis crucial in developingyourdiscipline.Progress and rewardwill fuel your efforts to keepgoing

despitesetbacks, thoughideally,mostofyourmotivationshouldcomefromwithin–regardlessoftheresults.

In addition to anaerobic activity, it’s good to introduce some variety to your workouts andperformsomeaerobicactivitiesaswell.

I do themmostly not for the health benefits (which are still obviously important), but for theenjoymentandthestress-reducingeffecttheyprovide(justnoteittakesatleast10weeksofregularexercisetoexperiencesignificantchangestoyourstresslevels[xiii]).

It’sallconnectedwithdisciplineaswell–arelaxed individualhasamucheasier timeresistingtemptationsandstickingtohisplanthananoverstressedperson.

Herearea fewideas foraerobicexerciseswhicharea lotof funandprovide incrediblehealthbenefits:

-cycling–longridescanbedemandingnotonlyphysically,butalsomentally,whichmakesitaperfectsportforbuildingself-discipline.

-walkingorjogging–simple,easy,cheap,andrunner ’shigh[xiv]feelsgood.-tennis–arguablyoneofthemostdifficultsportsrequiringalotofself-disciplinetomastereven

thebasics.-inlineskating–afunexercisethatalmostdoesn’tfeellikeexercise.- swimming–whennotdone in shortburstsofhigh-intensityactivity.Oneof thebest typesof

activitiesforobeseindividuals(swimmingislighteronyourjointsthan,say,jogging).-martialarts–ahugeaspectofmartialartsisthementaldevelopment,whichmakesitaperfect

holisticexercise.

HowtoNeverQuitYourFitnessProgramThefivemostcommonreasonswhypeoplequittheirfitnessprograms(andsubsequentlyloseself-discipline)are:

1.ThewrongkindofmotivationTherearetwokindsofmotivation:internalandexternal.Denis Coon, best-selling author in the field of psychology defines internal motivation (also

knownasintrinsicmotivation)assomethingthatoccurs“whenweactwithoutanyobviousexternalrewards.Wesimplyenjoyanactivityorseeitasanopportunitytoexplore,learn,andactualizeourpotentials”[xv].

Externalmotivation,alsoknownasextrinsicmotivation,isdefinedbysportspsychologistsPeterTerryandCostasKarageorghisasmotivationthatcancome“fromtheoutside,suchasthemotivationto win medals, receive financial rewards, and attract attention from the media. This is known asexternal,orextrinsic,motivationbecauseitinvolvesparticipationinsportforsomekindofrewardthatisexternaltotheprocessofparticipation”[xvi].

Thetypeofmotivationyouneedtosticktoyourfitnessprogramandbuildyourself-disciplineisintrinsic motivation. Just like you shouldn’t build your self-discipline solely because you want toimpresssomebody,youshouldn’tgotothegymonlybecauseyouthinksomeonewillpraiseyouoradmireyouforit.

If youwork out primarily because you expect a certain reward and draw little to no personalenjoymentorfulfillmentbydoingit,reconsideryourmotivation.

You build your self-discipline when you keep doing something simply because it helps yourealizeyourfullpotentialandnotbecauseitwillmakeyoulookgoodintheeyesofotherpeopleorprovideyouwithrewards.

If you can’t seem to find intrinsic motivation, try a different, more enjoyable sport that willencourageyoutoexplore,learn,oractualizeyourpotential.Ifyouhateit,youwon’tdoitinthelongterm,anyway.Speakingofwhich,thesecondreasonis...

2.LackofenjoymentHavingalotofdisciplineisgreat,butitdoesn’tmeanyouhavetoalwayschoosethingsyoudon’t

like(don’tconfuseitwithdoingthingsthatareuncomfortableforthepurposeofgrowth).In1997,researchersattheUniversityofRochesterandtheUniversityofSouthernUtahconducted

astudyonintrinsicmotivationandexerciseadherence[xvii].OnegroupofparticipantsparticipatedinTaeKwonDoclasseswhiletheothergroupattendedaerobicsclasses.

The first group had better adherence than the second one because they focused on enjoyment,competence,andsocialinteraction.Inotherwords,theychoseparticipatinginatypeoffitnessclasstheyenjoyedandnotaclassthatwasfocusedspecificallyonhelpingthemachievetheirfitnessgoals.

Both choices could have been equally uncomfortable for them (if theyweren’t used to regularphysicalexercise),butitwasTaeKwonDothattheyenjoyedmore–andthat’sthesameapproachyoushouldfollowwhenevermakingchangesthatareuncomfortableinthemselves(likeexercisingmoreorchangingyourdiet).

Ifyoudon’tenjoyyourfitnessplan,changeit.Trytopickatleastoneofeachtypeofexercise–anaerobicandaerobic.Ifyougotothegym,nobodysaysyouhavetousethisorthatmachine–there

are various ways of achieving the same goals (although a simple approach with free weights isusuallythemostoptimal[xviii]).

IfIrecommendaerobicexercises,itdoesn’tmeanyouhavetogotoaclassatyourlocalgym.Infact,I’magainstitbecauseIcan’timagineamoreboringwaytoexercisethanspendinganhourinaroomdoingjumpingjacksandothernightmarishexercisesIrememberfrommyPEclasses.

Have fun whenmoving. Play tennis with a friend. Jog with your dog. Go on a bike ride andexplore your surroundings. Have a kayaking trip with a group of friends. The less it feels likeexercise,theeasieritwillbetomakeitapermanentpartofyourlife.

3.LackofsupportIt’s great to have enough self-discipline to achieve your goals without the help of others.

However, it doesn’tmean it’s thebestwayof doing things. In fact, support fromother people canoftenmakeorbreakyourresolutions.

AstudyconductedbyBrandonC.IrwinattheMichiganStateUniversityandhiscolleaguesshowsthat exercising with a partner improves performance on aerobic exercises[xix]. A different studyconducted by the same researchers suggests that working out with a slightly better partnermakesindividualsmorepersistent[xx].

It’sduetotheKohler ’seffect[xxi],aphenomenonwhereinapersonworksharderasamemberofagroupthanwhenworkingalone.Ifyoucanworkharderanddevelopbetterdisciplinewhenworkingwithagroup,whynotbenefitfromitandgetsupport?

4.WrongexpectationsRegularphysicalactivityimprovesyourself-disciplinebyteachingyoutwothings:howtoadhere

toaspecificplanandhowtobepatientwhenwaitingfortheresults.Ifyoustartyourworkoutplanwith the wrong expectations, though, it’s likely you’ll quit before you improve your mentaltoughness.

Due to the phenomenon of the false hope syndrome (making frequent attempts at self-changewhileholdingunrealistic expectations about the likely speed, amount, ease, and consequences)[xxii],you’relikelytosetunrealisticgoalsandexpectthingsthatcan’thappeninaspecifiedtimeframe.Toavoiddiscouragement,researchwhatkindofresultsyoucanexpectrealisticallyandsetthemasyourgoals.Whenbuildingself-discipline,smallwinsaremoreimportantthanaimingforthestarsandnotevenlandingontheMoon.

5.AlackoftimeAlackoftimeisusuallytheleastlegitimatereasontoquitafitnessprogrambecauseitmasksa

differentkindofaproblem.Ifyoucan’tfindtimetotakecareofyourbody,thentheproblemisn’tyour lack of time, but your lack of priorities. Few people would disagree that health is themostimportantthinginlife,yetthelivesofmanypeopledon’treflectit.

Inthiscase,youneeddisciplinetoidentifyyourvalues,andmostimportantly,designyourlifeinsuchawaythatitwillreflectthem.Ifhealthisoneofyourprimaryvaluesinlife(anditshouldbe,becauseeverythingelsematterslittleifyoudon’tfeelwell),sacrificeoneofyourlesservalues(say,climbingthecorporateladder)forit.

Togiveyouanexamplefrommylife,IhaveseveralrulesregardingthetypesofbusinessesIcanrun.Forinstance,Ipurposefullyavoidhiringfull-timeemployeesbecausethebenefitsofincreasedearningspotentialcan’toutweighthehealth-affectingdrawbacks(addingalotofstresstomylife).

Icouldprobablymakemoremoneyactingagainstmyrules(afterall,mostentrepreneursagreeyou can achieve much more if you have a team of full-time employees), but my health is moreimportanttomethanmaterialwealth,soI’mfinewiththistradeoff.

Whatkindoftradeoffsdoyouhaveinyourlife,anddotheyreflectyourownvalues?

Doyouvaluefamilyandhealthoveryourcareer,yetspend60hoursaweekworkingwithnorealplan toreduceyourworkload?Perhaps it’s timetofigureouthowtochange thework-family timeratio.

Ifyouavoid these fivemostcommonreasons,you’llhaveamucheasier timesticking toyourworkout routine,andconsequently,building lastingself-discipline.Don’t forget, though, thatalloftheseproblemsaretheretohelpyoubecometougher–it’syourjobtofigurethemout,notusethemasexcuseswhyyoushouldgiveup.

SideMission:WinAgainstYourselfYoubuildwillpowerprimarilywhenyoudon’tfeellikedoingsomethingbutdoitanyway.Inthecaseofworkingout, itmeansgoing to thegymand liftingweights (ordoingyoursprinting/swimminghigh-intensityroutine)despitealackofenergyormotivation.

EachdayIfeeltired,weak,andgenerallynotreadyforaworkout,Iremindmyselfit’sthemostimportantworkoutdayforme.That’swhenmydisciplineistrulytestedandwhenitstrengthens–ifIwinagainstmyweaknesses.

Ifyoucanperformaworkoutdespitealightcold(ifyoursymptomsaremostly“inyourhead”exerciseisfine[xxiii]),hangover,generalbadday,oranyotherweakexcuse,you’realreadyaheadofthe pack. These small wins build up and strengthen your resolve like a muscle. If you can do itconsistentlyforyears,youprobablyhaveenoughdisciplinetoachieveanythingyouwantinlife.

Now,don’tmisunderstandandactinspiteofyourbody(I’lltalkmoreaboutitinalaterchapter).Ifyou’vebeenexperiencingnegativesymptomsfordays,don’tbestupid.Stopworkingout, figureoutwhat’swrong(notenoughrest,toomuchstress,alingeringillness,etc.),andreturnwhenyou’reready.

Toavoidburnout,takeaweeklongbreakevery3monthsorso.AJapanesestudyontraininganddetrainingledbyRikiOgasawarahasshownthateventhreeweeksoffisn’tenoughtocompromisetheprogressatthegym[xxiv].

Inthestudy,onegroupofparticipantswasforcedtotakethreeweeksoffwhiletheothergroupkept their regular 3x per week training schedule. At the beginning of week nine, the first groupresumedtheirtrainingschedule.

Whenscientistsmeasuredresultsafter15weeks,theprogresswasequalforbothgroups.Inotherwords,strategicbreakswon’taffectyourresultsnegativelyandcanprovideawelcomeperiodofrestprovidingbothpsychologicalandphysicalbenefits.

Asanadditionalbenefit,abreak(andsubsequentreturntoyourregularregimen)will testyourself-discipline.Forpeoplewithweakresolve,it’smoredifficulttogetbacktothegymafterabreak,soit’sagoodwaytoseehowstrongyourfitnesshabitsare.

Ifyoufeelrestlessduringyourweekoffandlookforwardtogoingbacktothegym,it’ssafetosayyouhavedevelopedastrongdisciplineofworkingoutregularly.

Habit:MaintainaHealthyDietIn today’s world, few things in life are more difficult for most people than maintaining healthyweight. There are temptations everywhere – billboards advertising cheap fast food, your favoritesnacksdiscountedat the store, friends askingyouout togrababite in aburger joint, or simplyapizzaaphonecallaway,deliveredin30minutesorless.

Fortunately,obesity isnotsomethingpeoplearebornwith.Exceptforafewlegitimatemedicalconditions(anditdoesn’tapplytoover99%ofpeople,soyouprobablycan’tuseitasanexcuse),theonlyreasonwhypeopleareobeseistheirlackofself-discipline.

Controllingyourweightisnotoptional–it’smandatoryifyouwanttobecomeaself-disciplinedperson.Attheriskofsoundingpoliticallyincorrect,you’reunlikelytoachievesuccessinotherareasofyourlifeifyoucan’tdealwithexcesspounds.

As lifecoachPeterSageputs it inhisvideo“3ThingsAllSuccessfulPeopleDo”[xxv], “if youdon’tmaketimeforhealth,you’llhavetomaketimeforillness.”Howself-disciplinedandsuccessfulcanyoubewhenyourbodyrefusestoserveyou?Andnoteit’snotan“if,”it’sa“when”ifyoudon’tcareaboutyourhealth.

Andthesearenotthewordscomingfromapersonwhohasbeenslimhisentirelife.I,too,wasoverweightandtakefullresponsibilityforwhoIusedtobe.Ihadthewrongbeliefsaboutnutritionandthewrongpersonalvalues–puttingenjoymentfromeatingovermyhealth.Moreover,itwasmyconsciousdecisionnottoeducatemyselfhowtochangeit.

Now,thatdoesn’tmeanI’maproponentoffollowingaradicaldietconsistingofblandfoods.Youcanenjoyyourmealsandstillbeahealthy,vibranthumanbeing.

Whichdietshouldyoufollowforbestresults?There’snorightanswer.Dr.DavidKatzatYaleUniversity’sPreventionResearchCenterandhisYalecolleagueStephanie

Meller compared various popular diets such as a low carb diet, low fat diet, low glycemic diet,Mediterraneandiet,mixed/balanced(DASH)diet,Paleolithicdiet,vegandiet,andelementsofotherdiets[xxvi].

Surprisingly (or not, depending on how you look at it), they found nowinner. Every dietwasassociatedwithhealthpromotionanddiseasepreventionas longas itwas“ofminimallyprocessedfoodsclosetonature,predominantlyplants.”

Ifyoufocusmostlyonunprocessedfoodsandstick to them,yourbodywillchange.Andwhenthesenewhabitsbecomeawayoflivingforyou(notadiet,butalifestyle),you’llnoticechangesinotheraspectsofyourlife,too.

You’llgetmoreenergy–whichyou’llwant touse tospendmore timedoingsomethingactivewhichpositivelyaffectsyourwellbeing.You’llhavemorementalclarity,whichwillhelpyoulearnnewthingsandgrowasaperson.Plus,you’lldevelopabetterworkethic,whichwillhelpyousticktoyournewresolutionsandachieveyourobjectivesmoreeasily.

HowtoSticktoYourDietDespiteUncontrollableCravings

Thebiggestchallengewithchangingyoureatinghabitsisshiftingfromyourold,unhealthywaystothenew,morebeneficialones.

There’snodenyingmostpeoplejustcan’tdealwiththeoverpoweringfeelingofhunger(evenifit’sonlybeenafewhourssincetheirlastmeal)orthefeelingoflongingtoeatanunhealthymeal.

Whileeliminatingentiregroupsoffoodspermanentlyfromyourlifeisnotanoptimalapproach(afterall,eatingisalargepartofpleasureinlifeandyoushouldn’tdepriveyourselfofitbynevereatinganythinglessthan100%healthy),it’snecessarytolearnhowtodealwithfoodcravingssoyoucandevelopmorecontroloveryourbody.

Apersonwhocansaynotoapowerfulcravingisthepersonwhowillbemorelikelytosaynowhenfeelingtemptedtogiveuporchooselazinessoverworkingonhergoals.

Igivemoredetailedtipsonhowtodealwithcravingsinmybook,HowtoBuildSelf-Discipline:ResistTemptationsandReachYourLong-TermGoals.Meanwhile,hereare threequick tips thatwillhelpyoudealwithcravingsbetter:

1.DistractyourselfIn the famous Stanford experiment on delayed gratification, children were offered a choice

betweenasmallimmediatereward(amarshmallow,acookie,orapretzel)ortwosmallrewards15minutes later[xxvii]. During the waiting period, the tester left the room, leaving children with thealluringrewardtemptingthemattheirfingertips.Somekidsgaveupandatetherewardrightaway;otherswaitedandreceivedtworewards.

The subsequent follow-up studies have shown that the children who were able to resist thetemptation were found to be more successful in life (as measured by SAT scores, incidence ofbehavioralproblems,andBMI)[xxviii].

Howdidthekidsdealwiththetemptation,especiallywhentakingintoaccountthegenerallackofself-disciplineamongchildrenwhencomparedtoadults?Theydistractedthemselves.

As the leading researcher Walter Mischel observed, some would “cover their eyes with theirhands or turn around so that they can’t see the tray, others start kicking the desk, or tug on theirpigtails,orstrokethemarshmallowasifitwereatinystuffedanimal.”

Whileitdoesn’treallysoundlikeagreatstrategytostrokethechocolatebarorkickyourdeskeachtimeyou’retemptedtocavein,thegeneralideabehindit–self-distraction–is.

Removingtemptationsfromsightisthesimplestandmosteffectivestrategy.Ifyoudon’thaveanyforbiddenfoodsathome,itwillbeeasiertoresistthetemptationtocheat.

There’sadifferenceif there’sachocolatebaronyourshelfvsinastore15minutesaway.Thesame applies to any other temptation-generating elements of the environment such as TV (ads),drivingnearbytoyourfavoritefastfoodrestaurants,etc.

Waitingonthetemptationforfifteenminutesisusuallyenoughtogreatlydiminishthecraving.Ifit’s still there, keep distracting yourself (instead of tryingnot to think about the temptation, try tofocusonsomethingelseentirely)untilitpasses.

It’susefultodevelopadefaulthabittodoinplaceofeatingunhealthyfoods.Forinstance,eachtimeyoufeelthetemptationtodrivetothenearbypizzajoint,grabyourshoesandracketandheadout to the local tennis court. Soon, the less-than-helpful part of your brain will forget about thetemptationandfocusontheotheractivity.

Asthehot-coldempathygapsays[xxix],wegenerallyfinditdifficulttounderstandhowitfeelstobe in an opposite state. Ifwe’re satiated, it’s difficult to understandhowhunger can take over ourcontrol. If we’re angry or sad, it’s difficult to understand how it feels to be happy. If we aren’tsexuallyaroused,wefailtopredictthekindofriskysexualdecisionswecantakewhilebeinginthe“hot”state[xxx].

Inthecaseofcravingforunhealthyfood(say,macandcheese),it’sdifficulttoimaginethateatingitwillnotbedelicious. It’sonlywhenyougive in thatyoucanexperience theemotionyouwouldhave never expected during your “hot” state (then you find it hard to believe you couldn’t haveresistedthetemptationgivenhowunsatisfactorytheexperienceturnsouttobe).

Thentherearealsoothernegativeeffectsofgivingin toacravinglikehowupsettingacertainfood can be for your stomach or how quickly the taste can go from incredible to horrible. It’sdifficulttothinkoftheseconsequenceswhenyou’reinthe“hot”state,soit’simportanttoberealisticaboutthecravingbyponderingallofthepotentialoutcomes.

Insteadof(yetagain)beingpuzzledastowhyyouimaginedyourforbiddenfoodassogreat(andfindingoutit’snotreallythatincredible,andyouonlygetguiltasareward),thinkaboutitpriortomakingthewrongdecision.Logicdoesn’talwaysworktoavoidthesewrongdecisions(afterall,it’sanemotionalcraving),butitcanhelp.

2.Don’tmakeittoodifficultIt’s useful to be a self-disciplined person, but it doesn’t mean you shouldmake everything as

difficult as possible just so you can improve yourwillpower.The easier dieting is, the less likelyyou’llbetocaveintoatemptationandgiveup.

Inmy case, having a designated cheat day everyweek letmeknow I onlyhad to postponemycravingsforafewdays.Iwasn’trequiredtogiveupmyfavoriteunhealthyfoodsforever–itwasjustforafewdays.Withtime,Istoppedcravingthesefoodssomuch,sointheend,takingtheeasywayout (cheating eachweek)was better thanmaking things too challenging (not allowingmyself anycheating).

Science also agrees cheat meals are valuable. Overeating (while on a low-calorie diet) helpsincrease the levels of leptin production by nearly 30% for up to 24 hours[xxxi]. This post-cheatingincrease in leptin,which regulatesbodyweight,boostsmetabolismandmayalso lead to improvedmotivation[xxxii].

Unfortunately,onlyhigh-protein,high-carb,andlow-fatcheatdaysaffectthelevelsofleptin[xxxiii].Inotherwords,ifyoursolepurposeofcheatingistoboostyourleptinlevels,youhavetosaynotopizza,icecream,chocolate,andotherfattyfoods.Doesn’tsoundlikeahappycheatday,doesit?

However, it doesn’t mean you have to strictly control your cheat days. There are bothphysiological and psychological effects of cheating. Even if you can’t obtain the maximumphysiological benefits because you choose not to have a low-fat day, you can still enjoy thepsychologicalones.

Givingyourselfascheduledbreakwillsaveyouguilt. Insteadofenteringtheviciouspost-guiltcycle(“Ialreadyscrewedup,itdoesn’tmakesensetogetbackontrack”)–whichwillsurelyhappen,becausefewpeoplecanadheretoastrictdietwith100%accuracy–incorporatecheatingintoyourdiet.

It’s about long-termcommitment,notdeprivingyourselfof everythingandhopingyou’ll fightoffeverysingletemptation.Aslongasyoumaintainhealthyeatinghabits80-90%ofthetime,you’llbefine.Bothyourhealthandself-disciplinewillimprovethelongeryousticktoahealthydiet–evenwithoccasionalreturnstolesshealthyfoods.

3.ChangeyourcravingsPeople succumb to cravings not only because theymiss eating pizza, hot dogs, ice cream, or

frenchfries.Theyalsocaveinbecausetheyneverdeveloppermanentalternativestothem.Unlessyoudevelopanenjoyablealternativetotheunhealthyfoodsyoulove,you’llalwaysmiss

themsomuchthatresistingcravingswillbeverydifficult.Canyouguesshoweasyitistomaintainadietthatletsyoueatallthatyouwant?Thekeyistofindhealthyalternativesthatgiveyouwhatyouwant(thatnormallycomesfromunhealthyfoods).

Andlet’sbehonesthere–youcan’treplacetheperfect,sweettasteofchocolatemeltingonyourtonguewithastalkofblandbroccoli.However,youcanprobablydoit(tosomeextent–enoughtonotmisschocolateeverysingleday)with:

-allkindsofberries (strawberries, raspberries,blueberries– is thereanyonewhodoesn’t lovethem?),

-darkchocolate (it’smuchhealthier,anddue to itsdeep taste–we’re talkingabout70%cacaocontenthere–youneedmuchlesstosatisfyyoursweettooth),

-smoothies(justdon’tgooverboardwithit–that’salotoffructose),- high-quality honey (there’s aworld of difference between cheap store honey and homemade

organicvarieties–experimentwithvariousflavors)- carob (while not entirely something you can eat on a daily basis as a healthy alternative, it’s

betterthanregularchocolate)Sometypesofunhealthyfoodscanbemadehealthierbyusinghealthieringredients.Forinstance,

pizzacanbemadewhole-wheatwithhomemadetomatosauceandahigh-qualitycheese.Youcaneatnatural frozen yogurt andmix in some berries instead of eating store-bought ice cream.You canmakehomemadefrenchfriesinsteadofbuyingoil-coatedfrozenones.

Spices and herbs also have a lot to do with taste. Many vegetables rarely taste good alone.However,ifyouaddtherightspiceorherbtothem,theygetmuchtastier–oftentimessotasty,youdevelop a craving for these foods.To give you a few examples, here are spices and/or herbs thatdramaticallychangethetasteofcertainhealthyfoods:

1.Eggs:chives,salt,and/orblackpepper.Scrambledeggsalonecanbeabitbland.Addinganyofthesemakesthetastemuchbetter.

2.Zucchini:cayennepepper,basil,cumin,garlicpowder,oregano,orthyme.Alotofherbsandspicesgowellwithzucchini.Fewpeopleenjoythisvegetablealone,butaddingjustapinchortwoofanyoftheseflavor-intensifierscanmakeaworldofdifference–especiallyifyougrillit.

3.Brown rice: turmeric, cumin,or soy sauce.Mostpeopleused to eatingwhite rice arenot ashappywiththetasteofbrownrice.Trycombiningitwithturmericorcumin,oraddsoysauce.YoucanalsocheckAsianspicemixesforrice.

4.Vegetablesoups:salt,blackpepper,allspice,bayleaf,and/orgardenlovage.Also,addalotofonionstoimprovetheflavor.Simple,everydayvegetablesoupsareperfectforanyonewhodoesn’tlikecookingeverysingleday.YoucanmakeabigpotofsouponMondayandeatituntilThursday.Withtherightmixofspices,youcancertainlydevelopacravingforsoup(likeIhave).

5.Potatoes:salt,rosemary,paprika,oregano,basil,cayennepepper,dill,and/orparsley.Potatoes,wheneateninmoderationandnotintheformoffrenchfries,aren’tasunhealthyaspeoplebelieve.Thekeyistoavoidfryingthem,insteadoptingforhealthiermethods,ideallybysteaming.Onceyou

comeupwithyourperfectmixofherbsandspices,steamedpotatoesmightbecomemoreappealingthanoil-coatedfrenchfries.

Experimentationcangoalongwaytoavoid,oratleastgreatlyreduce,cravingsforcertainfoods.Once you develop permanent alternatives you find as tasty (or tastier) thanwhat you have craved,maintainingyourhealthyeatinghabitswillgeteasier.Itwillalsobeagreat lessonincreativeself-discipline–goingaroundatemptationoreliminatingitaltogetherratherthancavingin.

SideMission:TryIntermittentFastingIntermittentfasting(IF)isapatternofeatinginwhichyouperiodicallyfastforaspecifiednumberofhours.Mostpeoplefollowabasicformofintermittentfastingeveryday.Unlessyouwakeupatnightandeat, eachdayyou fast forat least8hours.That’swhy the firstmealduring theday iscalleda“breakfast.”

Proponents of intermittent fasting suggest fasting for longer – usually at least 16 hours a day.Otherapproachesincludealternatedayfasting(eatingwhatyouwantoneday,andnoteatinganythingthenextday),24-hourfasts(say,youstopeatingat6PMandresumeeatingat6PMthenextday),and40-hourfasts(byskippinganentiredayofeating).

I’vealready talkedabout IF in a fewofmypreviousbooks (mostnotably,How toRelax), so Iwon’t repeat myself here to address the most common questions and doubts[xxxiv]. The onlydisclaimerIhavetoleavehereisthatintermittentfastingisnotforeveryone.Ifyousufferfromanyhealthconditions,speakwithyourdoctorfirst.

Havingsaidthat,mosthealthypeopleshouldhavenoproblemsskippinganentiredayofeating,orjustamealortwo.It’sabeneficialthingforyourhealthandyourself-discipline.

Hunger is an interesting feeling to handle. If you’re used to eating every three or four hours,you’llfeelhungryeverythreeorfourhours.Itdoesn’tmatterwhetheryou’veeatenenoughcaloriesforthedayornot–yourbody’ssignalsfollowyourhabits.

Andhere’swhenwillpowercomes intoplay.At first, it’suncomfortable to feelhungerandnotgive in. You’ll be tempted to grab something to eat, but instead you’ll let this feeling pass andcontinueyourfast.

Thegoal is toteachyourselfhowtostaydisciplineddespiteanuncomfortablefeeling.Just likehaving a regular workout routine is uncomfortable at first and you feel tempted to get instantgratification(spendyourdayinfrontoftheTVinsteadofgoingtothegym),sowillfastingtestyourwillpower.

Ittakesacertainkindofdisciplineandtoughnesstogowithoutfoodforlongerperiodsoftime,butwithenoughexperience,hungerbecomesanon-issue(oratleast,lesspowerfulthanitusedtobe).

Tryfastingonceortwiceandseehowitmakesyoufeel.Perhapsyoucanmakeitapartofyourdailyorweeklyroutinetochangeyourrelationshipwithfoodandlearnhowtocontrolyoururgesbetter.

Ifyouloveeating,butcanstillgowithoutfoodfor40hours,fewthingswillposeachallengetoyourwillpower.

Habit:WakeUpEarly(orGotoSleepatRegularHours)Ifyouwakeupandgotosleepeverysingledayataboutthesametimeandfeelwell-rested,youcanprobablyskipthispart.Ifyoufeelyoursleepschedulerequiressomework,workingonthisaspectofyourlifewillimproveyourhealthaswellashelpyoubuildmoreself-discipline.

There’s an important caveat regarding waking up early. While it’s generally perceived thatwakingupearlyisavirtue,ahabiteveryonewhowantstobecomesuccessfulshoulddevelop,sciencedoesn’tnecessarilyagree.

Infact,aGermanstudyonchronotypesshowsthatthebrainsofearlyrisersaredifferentthanthebrains of night owls[xxxv]. In otherwords,waking up early isn’t always optimal for you if you’repredisposedtostayinguplate.

However, don’t use that as an excuse forwakingup late if youdon’t feelwell followingyournormalsleepschedule.Foralongtime,Iusedtogotobedat3or4inthemorningandwakeupat2PM.IcouldhavearguedIwasanightowl,butIneverfeltparticularlywell-rested.WhenIwentfromoneextremetoanother–wakingupat6AM–Ilearnedthatearlyrisingwasamoreoptimalchoiceforbothmyenergyandgeneralproductivity.

Therearetwogeneralapproachestowakingupearly.Ifyourgoalistowakeupat6AM,youcaneithersetyouralarmfor6AMrightawayandtakeitfromthereorwakeupaminuteortwoearliereachdayuntil,usuallyafteratleastafewweeks,youreachyourgoal.

Ipreferthecoldturkeyapproach.It’sadifficulttestforyourself-discipline,butproducesresultsmorequickly.Evenifyouslipupafewtimes,youcanchangeyour internalclockinamatterofaweekortwoinsteadofseveralweeks.

Few things test your self-discipline more than the alarm clock forcing you to leave yourcomfortable,warmbedandstartanewday–especiallyifyou’restartingitwithsomethingyoudon’tparticularly enjoy.That’swhywakingup early is a perfect exercise tobuildmental toughness andlearnhowtoovercomeyourweaknesses.

Ifwakingupearlyisaparticularlydifficultgoalforyou–asitwas,andsometimesstillisforme–considerincreasingthestakes.

Itcanbesomethingassimpleasschedulingsomethingforthemorningthatyouabsolutelycan’tmiss(soitwillprovidemotivationtoavoidhittingthesnoozebutton)orasdeliberateasplacingabetwithyourfriend(ifyoudon’twakeupat6AM,you’llpayhim$20orwhateverispainfulenoughtoyouthatitwillmotivateyoutogetup).

Forinstance,Ihaveforeignlanguagelessonsinthemorning.EvenifIdon’tfeellikewakingupearly(asitsometimeshappens),mybodywillwakemeuprightbeforethelesson.

It takes a lot ofwillpower to unlearn the habit of staying up late and hitting the snooze buttonseveraltimesbeforegettingup.Onceyoupermanentlychangeyoursleepscheduleandstartregularlywakingupearly,you’llexperienceapowerfulshiftinself-discipline.You’lldevelopyourowntoolstostick toyour resolutionsevenwhenyou’restillhalf-asleepandsusceptible tochoosing theeasywayout.

Ifyou’renotanearlyriser,youcanintroduceahabitofgoingtosleepandwakingupatregularhours(butpleasetestyourhypothesisandspendatleastamonthfollowinganearlymorningroutine).

Italsorequiresdailyself-discipline,helpsyoubetterstructureyourday,andoptimizesyourbody(itgetsconfusedifyouwakeupandgotosleepatrandomhours).

PHYSICALEXCELLENCELEADSTOMASTERYINLIFE:QUICKRECAP

1.Regularphysicalactivityisakeystonehabit,whichmeansitpositivelyaffectsotherareasofyourlife,helpingyoumakeseveralbeneficialchangesbyonlyintroducingone.

2. Becoming a fit and healthy person is one of the best things you can do to build your self-discipline. It requires patience anddedication to theprocess,which are the two thingsyouneed todevelopinordertoenjoyhigherlevelsofwillpower.

3.Exercisescanbeeitheranaerobic (high-intensity, shortduration)oraerobic (lower intensity,longerduration).Foroptimalresults,chooseatleastoneanaerobicandoneaerobictypeofactivity.

4.Toovercomethefivemostcommonreasonswhypeoplequittheirfitnessprograms,developintrinsicmotivation(comingfromwithinyou,nottherewardsyouexpect),findexercisesyouenjoy(because building self-discipline isn’t about making your life permanently miserable), considerworkingoutwithapartner(becauseaccountabilityhelpsstayontrack),havetherightexpectations,andmakeyourroutinereflectyourpersonalvalues(soyoumaketimeforexercise).

5. Whenever you don’t feel like working out, remind yourself that it’s a test of your self-discipline. If you resist the temptation to get lazy, you’ll get rewarded with a fulfilling (thoughpossiblymoredemandingthanusual)trainingthatwilldevelopyourtoughness.

6.Ifyoudon’tmaketimeforhealth,you’llhavetomaketimeforillness.Gettingridofexcessweightisnotoptional–it’smandatoryifyouwanttobecomeself-disciplinedandgrowinotherareasofyourlife.

7. If you’re struggling with cravings, learn how to shift your focus from the temptation tosomething else. Don’t keep any forbidden foods at home. Whenever you have a craving, giveyourselfsomethingelsetodoforfifteenminutesasitwillprobablyreduceinintensityifyouonlywait.Comeupwithhealthyhabitsthatwillreplaceyourusualroutineswheneveryoufeelacraving(e.g. going on awalk instead of driving to the nearest pizza joint).Be realistic about the potentialnegativeconsequencesofgivingintoacraving–whenyoueatacertainunhealthyfood,itwon’tfeelasgoodasyouthinkitwillwhenyoucraveit.

8.Don’tbeafraidtoschedulecheatdaysorcheatmealssoyouhavesomethingtolookforwardto.Itwillonlymakedietingeasier,andstillhelpyouachieveyourgoals.Alwaysthinkaboutthelongtermperspective–ifyoucan’timaginesustainingyourcurrenteatinghabitsfortherestofyourlife,you’reprobablytoorestrictive.

9. You won’t deal with cravings if you don’t develop permanent, healthy, and enjoyablealternatives to the foodsyou crave.Don’t relyonyour self-disciplineonly–get creative and findwaystosatisfyyourcravingswithoutactuallysuccumbingtothem.

10.Intermittentfastingisagoodwaytotestyourabilitytochoosepostponedgratificationoverinstantrewards.Skipeatingfromtimetotimetoreconnectwiththeuncomfortablefeelingofhunger.

11.Makingachange towakeupearly isoneof themostdifficult tests foryour self-disciplinebecausewe’reusuallythemostsusceptibletogivingintotemptationsinthemorningwhenwe’restillgroggyandhalf-asleep.Testdifferentwakinghours toseehowtheyaffectyourmood(andalsotoseewhetheryoucanovercomeyourweaknesses).

Chapter3:DiscomfortBuildsCharacterItwasapartlysunnysummerday.Iwentwithmyfriendtoanearbylaketokayak.Thesurfacewasstillandthesunshoneonus.Werentedkayaksandwentonourmerryway.

Thirtyminutes later,blueskies turned intoadark,menacingdomeofclouds.Windrockedourkayaks.Paddlinggotmoreandmoredifficultaswavesformedonthesurfaceofthelake.Andthentheheavyraincame,soakinguswithinminutes.

Withblistersonourfingers,wefoughtourwayback.Thewavescrashedagainstmykayakandcontinuously turned it into the wrong direction.My shoulders and hips were tense and exhaustedwithinafewminutesofrapidpaddling.

Andyet,despitewhatseemedlikeanightmarishturnofevents,Ifeltexhilarated.Likeamadman,Ilaughedandgrunted to the rhythmof thewildpaddling.Evenwhen thewaves rocked thekayaksomuchIwasafraidIwouldgointothewater,Istillenjoyedtheexperience.Evenafresh,pink,burningblisteronmythumbdidn’truinmymood.

Fifteenminuteslater,theskiesclearedupandthesunshoneonusagain.Wepaddledbacktotheshore,smilingandlaughingatthewildexperiencedespiteoursorebodies.

Ithasn’talwaysbeenlikethatforme.Ilearnedhowtofeelconfidentdespitediscomfortanddrawpleasureoutofitthankstoconsciouspractice.WhenImasteredhowtoappreciatethechallengesforwhattheywere–greatadventuresandopportunitiestogrow–mylifegoteasier.Indeed,life’seasierwhenyouliveitthehardway.

How comfortable do you feel with discomfort? Have you ever experienced an uncomfortablesituation and laughed in spite of it? Do you seek inconvenience or stay as far away from it aspossible?

Discomfortisapartofhumannature.Forthousandsofyears,humanslivedindirecircumstances,fighting for survival every single day. It’s not in spite of the obstacles, but thanks to them thatwethrivetoday.

Ifnaturehadn’ttestedus,wewouldn’thavedevelopedwaystoprotectourselvesagainstit.Despitemodernconveniences,lifetodayisstillsimilartowhatitusedtobe.Anybadthingsweexperienceinourdailylivesmakeusstrongerandmorepreparedtodealwithsimilarproblemsinthefuture.

Ifyoudidn’tscrapeyourkneesasakidandgetyourselfafewbruises,howcapableofdealingwithpainwouldyoubetoday?

Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, three famous proponents of Stoicism all proposedimposing mild self-discomfort to prepare oneself for possible adversity and to develop moreappreciationofthethingsonetakesforgranted.

ProfessorWilliamB.Irvinewritesinhisbook,AGuidetotheGoodLife:TheAncientArtofStoicJoy[xxxvi] that“pursuingpleasure,Senecawarns, is likepursuingawildbeast:Onbeingcaptured,itcanturnonusandtearustopieces.Or,changingthemetaphorabit,hetellsusthatintensepleasures,whencapturedbyus,becomeourcaptors,meaningthatthemorepleasuresamancaptures,‘themoremasterswillhehavetoserve.’”

Ifyoupurposefullyrefusetoservesomeofyour“masters,”you’llgrowmorecapableofdealingwith adversity. Nobody lacks mental toughness when the circumstances are perfect. Your self-discipline isonly testedduring timesofadversity. Ifyoumake it a regularhabit toputyourself in

trickysituations,you’llbebetterpreparedtodealwiththemwhentheyhappenwithoutyourvoluntaryinvolvement.

Exercise:GetComfortablewithColdTemperaturesExposing yourself to cold temperatures is one of the simplest ways to learn how to handlediscomfort.Thesimplest,most insightfulexercise is takinga5-minutecoldshower.Andno,don’tjustcount5minutesinyourhead–setastopwatchanddon’tleavetheshoweruntil5minutespass.Don’tcheat–turntheknoballthewaytocold.

TheperiodoftwomonthsIspenttakingtwoice-cold5-minuteshowersadaywasoneofthemosthelpfulthingsIdidtoincreasemymentaltoughness.

ThefirsttimeItookacoldshower,myentirebodywasnumb.Istrugglednottojumpoutoftheshower after the first hit ofwater. Several showers later I becomemore attuned to the feelings ofdiscomfort,discoveringthatthefirsttwominuteswerethemostdifficult.Aftertwominutespassed,suddenlythingsbecamemucheasierandIknewIcouldstandthecoldwithoutthatmuchdifficulty.

Ithenappliedthesamelearningsinotheraspectsofmylife,remindingmyselfthatthefirststepsusuallytestyourself-disciplinethemost.Ifyoucanhandlethem,youcanhandlemuchmorethanyouthink.

That’sthekindofalessontheexercisesinthesebooksarefor.Youcanonlylearnthemonyourown.Whenyoudiscoverexactlywhenandhowyou’retemptedtogiveinandwhathelpsyouhandlediscomfort,you’llbecomemorecapableofdealingwithpostponedgratification.

I won’t say you should take cold showers every day. Two months after I started taking coldshowers, I went back to regular hot showers. I learned my lessons. It makes little sense to makeyourselfmiserableonadailybasistofeelyou’retough.

Another exercise to test your mental toughness is to go out underdressed for the weather.Obviously,youshouldn’tdoitwhenyou’resickorwhenyou’regoingtoexplorethewildoutdoors.However, going for awalk once or twicewithout a jacket, with only a thin sweater on, can be avaluableexperienceforbuildingmentaltoughness.Justbereasonableaboutit–we’retalkingaboutslightdiscomforthere,notputtingyourselfinasituationwhereyoucangetfrostbiteorhypothermia.

Exercise:DoWithoutSomethingYou“Need”There are certain things and habits you need in your everyday life to feel comfortable. It can becarryingyoursmartphoneeverywhereyougo,checkingyouremailtentimesaday,drinkingcoffeefirstthinginthemorningorsleepinginyourwarm,comfortablebed.

Asanexample,insteadofsleepinginmyownbedIchosetosleeponthebalconyofmyapartmentafewtimes.It’sasimple,easythingmostpeople(withbalconiesandbackyards,at least)candotoexperiencebriefdiscomfortandstoptakingtheircomfortablebedforgranted.

Whatifyou’readdictedtoyoursmartphoneandabsolutelycan’tleaveitathomeforthefearofnotreplyingsoonenoughtoamessagefromyourfriend?Youguessedit–leaveitathomeforafewhoursandobservehowyoufeelwithoutit.Staywithyouranxietyandgopastit–nothingbadwillhappen,andyou’llonlygettougherbygettingridofoneofyour“necessities”forawhile.

Belowareafewmoreexamplesofdoingwithoutsomethingyou“need.”1.Walktoworkinsteadofdriving.Inmanycitiesit’snotpracticaltodo,butthat’spreciselywhy

it’sagreatself-disciplinebuildingexercise.2.Gocamping, ideallyawayfromanyfacilitiessoyou’reforcedtowashordootherhygiene-

relatedactivitieswithoutmodernconveniences.3.Doa24-houremail fast.During these24hours,don’tcheckyouremailatall.Don’tdo it if

you’rewaitingforanimportantmessageorcan’tafforditbecauseyourjobrequiresit–that’snotthepointofthisexercise.Youcantryitwhenyou’reonvacation,butstillcheckyouremailoutofhabit.

4.Replaceyour evenings in frontof theTVwith educational reading (non-fictionbooksaboutskillsandgoalsyou’dliketoachieve.)

5.Livelikeamiserforaweekortwo.Avoideverysingleunnecessaryexpense.Don’tbuynewfood–eatleftovers,cannedfood,andalloftheblandfoodsyourarelyeatthatjustsitthereinyourfridgeorpantry.Don’tbuyanynewclothes,don’tspendmoneyonanykindofentertainment.Pretendyoudon’thaveanymoneytospend.

Youcantakeitfurtherbylearninghowtolivewithless.Eachtimeyouwanttomakeapurchase,askyourselfwhetherit’ssomethingyouabsolutelyneed.Ifnot,chancesareyou’llregretthepurchaseandaddmorecluttertoyourlifewithoutanybenefits.Ifyou’renotabsolutelysureapurchasewillbringlong-termvalueinyourlife,havethedisciplinetoskipit.

Exercise:RejectionTherapyRejection is an everyday part of our lives, yetmost people can’t handle itwell. Formany, it’s sopainful, they’d rathernotask forsomethingatall thanaskandrisk rejection.Yet,as theoldadagegoes,ifyoudon’task,theanswerisalwaysno.

Avoidingrejection–whichinessencemeansnothavingenoughdisciplinetodealwiththiskindofdiscomfort–negativelyaffectsmanyaspectsofyourlife.Allofthathappensonlybecauseyou’renottoughenoughtohandleit.

For this reason, consider rejection therapy. Come upwith a request or an activity that usuallyresults in a rejection. Working in sales is one such example. Flirting with strangers is another.Hagglingoraskingfordiscountsatthestoreswillalsowork.

Formoreideas,youcantrythegameofRejectionTherapyathttp://rejectiontherapy.com/whereyoucanbuycardswithvarioustasksdesignedtohelpyougetrejected.30daysofsuchachallengeisenoughforapowerfulshiftthatwillnotonlyhelpyoubecometougher,butalsomoreself-confident.

Bydeliberatelygettingyourselfrejectedyou’llgrowathickerskinthatwillallowyoutotakeonmuch more in life, thus making you more successful at dealing with setbacks and unfavorablecircumstances.

I performed a variation of this therapy when fightingmy shyness. Getting repeatedly rejectedmademe feel okaywith the feeling.After enoughpractice,my shynesswas gone– you can’t feeluncomfortablewiththingsyoudoonaregularbasis.

Exercise:FailureTherapyLegendary baseball player and coach Yogi Berra once said, “Losing is a learning experience. Itteachesyouhumility.Itteachesyoutoworkharder.It’salsoapowerfulmotivator.”

Humility,workethic,andmotivation–all threeof thesearenecessarycomponentsofpersonalgrowthandself-discipline.

Ifyou’renothumble,you’lloverestimateyourabilitytoresisttemptations.Infact,aphenomenoncalled “restraint bias” shows that people overestimate their abilities to control impulses[xxxvii] andoverexposethemselvestotemptation.

Experiencingfailurewillkeepyouawayfrominflated impulse-controlbeliefs.You’renotself-disciplinedwhenyousayyouare–you’reself-disciplinedwhenyou’resmartenoughtoknowhowtoavoidtemptationsaltogether.

Oneofthebestwaystogetmorefamiliarwithfailureinlifeistostrivetoachievedifficultgoalsandsetchallengesthatarepotentiallyoutofyourreach.Justlikeachessplayercan’tkeepimprovinghisgameplayingagainstplayersworsethanhim,soyoucan’timprovewithoutconstantlysettingthebarhigher.

The increased incidence of failure when setting difficult goals, and the subsequent feelings ofdiscouragement,willbeaworthwhileexercisetolearnhowtostaydetermineddespitesetbacks.

Youdon’tchallengeyourself-disciplinewhenyouneverexperiencefailure. It’sonlywhenyoumakemistakes,jumpthroughhoops,crawlunderobstacles,andfallfaceforwardwhenyoucantestandgrowyourdetermination.

Habit:DotheMostDifficultThingswithNoHesitationIt’sanoldruleintheworldoftimemanagementthatyoushoulddothemostimportantthingsfirst,andonlywhenyoufinishthemareyouallowedtomoveontolessessentialactivities.

However,fewpeoplefollowthissoundadviceineverydaylife.Ifyouhavealistoftentaskstodo,it’seasiertofocusontheeasiestonesthatyou’dbeabletocrossoffyourlistquickly.

Itdoesnothingtomoveyouclosertoyourgoals(infact,mostofthesequicktasksareprobablyunessential),yetyoudoitinsteadofthehardtasks.Why?Becauseitrequiresalotofself-disciplinetobeatprocrastinationandgettheuncomfortabletasksdonefirst.

Changeyourhabitsanddothemostdifficultthingsfirst.Oftentimes,youcandowhatappearsasadifficultandtime-consumingtaskmuchmorequicklythanyouthink.It’sonlyyourperceptionofitsdifficultythatmakesitsohardtogetdisciplinedaboutitandgettoworknow.

Asawriter,Ihaveasimpleroutineofwritingacertainnumberofwordseverysingleday.OnthedaysIdon’tfeellikewriting,it’sstilloneofthefirstthingsIdointhemorning.

Tobreakthereluctance,Isimplywriteafewwordsandtakeitfromthere.Afewminuteslater,Inolongerfeelanyresistance.ThelongerIhesitate,theweakermyresolvegets.

IfindthistobethecasewithvirtuallyeverydifficultactivityIdo.IfIdon’tfeellikeworkingoutinthemorning,Idon’tsitandponderwhetherIshouldgoornot.Iputonmyfitnessclothesandgo.WhenI’matthegym,Ican’thelpbutstart–I’vealreadytakenthefirststep,andnowthingswillonlygeteasier.

Discomfort has a tendency to get overbearing the longer you let it simmer. If you don’t giveyourselfalotoftimetothink–insteadoptingtogettheballrollingandstartworkingonthetask–your reluctancewill quicklymelt away. Repeating the same process each time you don’t feel likedoingsomethingwillhelpyoubuildasolidself-discipline-boostinghabit.

Exercise:LearnSomethingDifficultOneofthemostdifficultbutstillmanageablegoalsyoucansetforyourselftoinstillmoredisciplineinyourdailylifeistolearnaforeignlanguage.

Bymaking itagoal tobecomea fluentspeaker ina languageyoudon’t speak,you’llnotonlyacquireavaluableskill,butalsodiscoverhowtolearningeneral.Thisalsoincludesmasteringhowto deal with discouragement, which is always lurking somewhere nearby, ready to pounce themomentyoustruggle.

Learning foreign languages is a frustrating experience at every level, whichmeans you’ll getfamiliarwiththefeelingoffrustrationonadailybasis(andhopefullylearnhowtodealwithit).

Inthebeginning,you’llexperiencefrustrationatnotbeingabletounderstandanything.Lateron,you’ll get discouraged by what you will see as slow progress. Even when you’re an advancedspeaker, you’ll still feel uncomfortable at times and get mad at yourself when you can’t saysomethingyouknowhowtosayperfectlyinyournativelanguage.

These kinds of emotions are helpful to understand your patternswhen learning a language orworkingonanydifficultgoal.Whatdoyoudowhenyoufeellikegivingup?Whatleadsyoutothispoint?Whatsnapsyououtofit?Untilyougetstartedandexperiencethesefeelingsonyourown,youwon’tknowtheanswers.

Inmycase,perfectionismisatthesteeringwheelofmydiscouragement.EachtimeIrealizeI’mfar away from the perfect vision of my skills, I get frustrated. However, having discovered thispattern, I have turned it into an empowering one, usingmy anger as fuel to keepworking onmyabilitiesuntiltheyareasmymindpicturesthem.

Whatisitforyou?Howcanyouchangeyourdefaultresponsefromthetemptationtogiveuptomoredeterminationanddisciplinetokeepgoing?

Here are several more difficult goals and skills to achieve that will help you elicit the sameresponseanddevelopyourowntacticstodealwithdiscouragementand/ordiscomfort:

1.LearnadifficultsportrequiringmasteringpropertechniqueSomesportslikebasketballorfootballgiveahugeadvantagetocertainphysicalattributes,thus

reducing the effectiveness of consistent practice. Few things are more frustrating than having anincrediblework ethic and still being far behindotherplayerswith innatephysical strengths.Thesesportswon’thelpyoubuilddetermination,andcanonly leaveyoubitterwith theunfairnessof theworld.

Tobuildmoreself-disciplinebygettingcomfortablewithdifficulties,choosechallengingsportsthatrewarddrills,consistenttraining,andgoingtheextramile.

Someofthesesportsinclude:-golf-chess-tennis-gymnastics-wrestlingoranymartialartsthatdon’tdependonyoursizeI’mnotsayingthatyoushouldbecomeaworld-classexpertinanyofthesesports.Thesimpleact

of long-termpractice, dealingwith setbackson theway towardprogress, and achieving success is

whatyou’reafter.Thefactthatittakesyearstobecomeatleastaverageinthesesportsiswhatmakesthisexercisesopowerfulforbuildingself-discipline.

In fact, aCanadian studyhas shown that regular, structured extracurricular sports seem tohelpkids develop self-discipline needed to engage effectively in the classroom. As professor Linda S.Pagani,oneoftheresearcherssaid,“wefoundthatthosechildrenwhowerespecificallyinvolvedinteam sports at kindergarten scored higher in self-regulation by time they reached fourth-grade”[xxxviii].

Not all is lost if you’re an adult. You can start learning any sport you want at any age. Thecommitmentneededtobecomeanintermediateplayerinanyofthemoredifficultsportswillhavethesameeffectonyourself-disciplineasinthecaseofkids.

2.MasteraskillrequiringpatienceIfyouaren’tpatientenoughtotrust theprocess,you’remorelikelytogiveuptoosoon.Ifyou

expect quick results and don’t achieve them, you’ll bemore likely to get discouraged and/or feelguiltyyoucan’tliveuptoyour(unrealistic)expectations.

Herearesomeskillsandactivitiesthatrequirealotofpatience,andthusthedisciplinetomaintainfocusanddeterminationwhilewaitingfortheresults:

- cooking, especiallymoredifficultmeals that require anhouror twoof prep andoneor twohoursofcooking.Sincecooking isadifficult skill tomaster (it takesdozensof tries todevelopa“trademark”dish),it’sperfectforexercisingself-discipline.

- gardening.Most plants takemonthsor years to grow.Someplants, likeorchids, can live formonthsoryearswithoutsproutingasingleflower.Talkaboutworkingonyourpatience.

-creativework.Painting,writing,andanyothersimilarcreative typeofworkrequiresa lotofdeterminationandpatiencetoseethroughtotheveryend.Evenifit’ssomethingyou’reunlikelytoshow others, expressing yourself through art (and getting used to the long, arduous process ofcreation),willbehelpfulindevelopingmoreself-discipline.

- reading.Youknowhowto read,yousay?Well,whenwas the last timeyoufinishedanentirenovel or full-length non-fiction work without skipping any part? Reading longer books requirespatienceandendurance–thingsthatwillhelpyougrowmoreself-discipline.

-knitting.Firstly,learninghowtoknittakesmonths,ifnotyears.Then,knittinganactualpieceofclothingcantakeanotherfewweeks,dependingonwhatyouwanttoknitandhowcomplexitis.Andhowcoolisittobeabletomakeyourownclothes?

Now,don’tgetmewrong.Thepointisnottochooseadifficultsportorskillyouhate.Ifinthebeginning something comes extremely hard to you and you don’t enjoy it, there’s a high chanceyou’vealreadyrecognizedsubconsciouslyit’snotagoodactivityforyou.

Forinstance,Ipracticedjudoforthreemonthsasapartofthecurriculumattheuniversity.Iknewafter the first few classes that it wasn’t for me. I didn’t enjoy it, I wasn’t good at it, and it wasextremely painful formy back. A few years later I started learning tennis. It only tookme a fewclassestorealizeIlovedthesport,despiteneverbeforetryingit.

3.MasterhonestyAccording to a 2002 study at the University ofMassachusetts, 60% of adults can’t have a ten

minuteconversationwithoutlyingatleastonce(twotothreetimesonaverage)[xxxix].Granted,thestudywasconductedon121undergraduates,whichishardlyarepresentationofthe

entiresociety.However, therearemoresources thatconfirm thenumberofpeople lyingregularlyhoversaround50%.

According to Sunny Bates, CEO of New York-based executive recruitment firm Sunny BatesAssociates,40%ofpeoplelieontheirrésumés[xl].

According to onlinedating research fromOkCupid,most of their users either lie about height(theyaretwoinchesshorterinreallife)andincome(peoplemake20%lessthantheysaytheyare).Theyalsolieabouttheirpictures,statingthey’rerecentwhiletheyweretakenuptoafewyearsago.

It’s not an understatement to say that lying is widespread and we encounter liars (or tell liesourselves)everysingleday.It’sdifficulttoremainhonest,especiallywhenwhat’satstakeisyourjob,self-worth,orchancesofmeetingalifepartner.

Yetmasteringhonestyisoneofthebestthingsyoucandotoimprovethequalityofyourlifeandbecome comfortable with discomfort. After all, if telling the truth wasn’t uncomfortable, nobodywouldlie.

A studyconducted at theUniversityofNotreDameon110peoplebetweenages18 and71hasshown that telling fewer lies (including white lies) was linked with improved relationships (duh),fewerfeelingsoftensionormelancholy(duhagain,howcanyounotfeeltenseifyou’relostinaweboflies?),and,what’smostinteresting,fewerhealthproblemslikeheadachesandsorethroats[xli].

Howdoyoustoplyingifyou’reusedtotellingliesonadailybasis?Startwiththerealizationthatyourlies–nomatterifthey’reinnocentwhiteliesormoreseriousones–hurtpeople.Itaffectsyourrelationshipsbydestroyingtrust,thebasisofanyhumanconnection.Moreover,liescanfollowyouforyearstocome(lyingonyourrésumé,lyingtoyourpartner),hurtingyouandthosearoundyouoverandoveragain.Allforashort-termgain–isitworthit?

Just like with any other activities that put you in discomfort, it takes time to become trulycomfortable with being honest all the time. However, the regular practice of being upfront withpeopleandtherewardsyou’llgetforitwillhelpyoustaythecourseandjointheminorityofpeoplewhocanbeunconditionallytrusted.

4.LearncommunicationskillsIn essence, developing communication skills starts and ends with a habit of always putting

yourselfinthesituationoftheotherpersonfirst.Ifyouhaveenoughdisciplinetotapintoempathybeforeutteringaword,you’llbecomeabettercommunicatorandavoidconflicts.

However,it’snoteasy–andiscertainlynotcomfortable–toresistthetemptationtodothetotalopposite.Ittakesconsistentlyapplieddisciplinesoyousticktoyournewwaysratherthanresortingtotheold,ineffectivecommunicationpatterns.

Negativecommunicationhabits,suchasgettingangryorfighting,areusuallypassingsensationsthat can be controlled if youmake a conscious effort to catch them before giving in to them.Byhandling the impulse beforemaking the situationworse, you’llmaster the ability to communicatewithpeoplewithoutresortingtoangryarguments.

The result of this practice – improved impulse control – will help you in other areas of life,teachingyouhowtotradeasmallinstantrewardwithalarger,long-term,morepositiveresult.

Alotofproblemswithcommunicationalsocomefrombeingtoojudgmental.It’seasytojudgeotherswithout fully understanding their situation. It’s an impulse similar to automatically arguingwithsomeoneinsteadofputtingyourselfintheirshoes.

Learning how to handle this impulsive behavior is yet another exercise you can do to becomemoredisciplined.Thetemptationtojudgeeveryoneandeverythingisoftenoverpowering.It’seasytoforgetyourselfandcommencealong,uselesstiradethatservesnobody.

Try to catch yourself each time you find yourself judging someone else and stop. Saying badthings about others rarely helps anyone. Turn it into an empowering exercise by learning how toresistit.

Anothernegativecommunicationhabittobreakisbeingunableorunwillingtostateyourneedsand/orsayno.

It’seasiertorelentandsaythatyou’lldosomethingratherthanrefuseandfacetheuncomfortableconsequencesofrejectingsomeone.That’swhyit’sagoodideatolearnhowtovoiceyourneedsandputyourselfintheseuncomfortablesituationssoyoucanhandlethembetter.

Itcantakeyearstoseeanimprovementifyou’renaturallyapersonwhoputsotherpeoplefirst,buteventhenyoucanstillfeelbadaboutputtingyourneedsovertheneedsofotherpeople.However,it’s a valuable and insightful practice that will help you deal better with awkward, uncomfortablesituations that can arisewhen you saywhat you need orwant (orwhen you say no and the otherpersondoesn’ttakeitwell).Youcan’tnotgrowyourdisciplinebyexperiencingsuchcircumstancesfrequently.

5.LearntotrustyourselfObsessing overwhat other people think about you is nothing but the inability to have enough

disciplinetotrustyourself.It’seasierandmorecomfortabletoaskforvalidationfromotherpeoplethantolearnhowtofeelokaywithouttheirapproval.It’sequallyeasytodowhatotherstellyoutodoinsteadofsittingdownandaskingyourselfwhatyoutrulywant.

However,aswe’vealreadycoveredafewtimesinthisbook,choosingcomfortrarelyhelpsyouachieveyourgoals.Inthecaseofcaringwhatothersthinkaboutyouordoingthingstopleasethem,youchooseeasycomfort(focusingonbeingliked)overdiscomfortthatwouldbringmorehappiness(livingyourownlifewithoutconcernabouthowothersperceiveyou).

Obviously,notcaringwhatothersthinkhasnothingtodowithbeinginsensitiveorpurposefullymakingyourselfstandout.Thatwouldbeanotherdimensionof thesamebehavior–drawingyoursenseofself-worthfromprovingyoudon’tneedapproval.

The sweet spot – requiring a lot of self-discipline tomaster – is to justbe the best version ofyourself.Theopinionofothersdoesn’tmattertoyoueitherway–it’sneitheraboutdoingsocially-acceptedthingsnorgoingagainstthestream.It’saboutdoingwhat’srighttoandforyouandstayingthecoursedespitedoubtsand/orotherpeoplenaggingyoutochangeyourpath.

A personal example from my life comes from the two years spent at the university. Despiteknowingwell thatcollegewouldn’tbetherightplaceforme,Irelentedbecauseitwaswhatyoungpeopleafterhighschoolweresupposedtodo.

Two years later, I dropped out and decided to followmy own path, far away from the formaleducationandthe9to5world.Itwasfilledwithdoubtanddifficulties,butintheend,carvingmyownpathinsteadoffollowingtheprescribedroutehelpedmereachmydreamlifestyle.Ifitwasn’tforthedisciplinetokeeppushingdespitenotgettingmuchapprovalfromotherpeople,I’msureIwouldn’tbesohappytoday.

Inthiscase,thementaltoughnessIneededtotravelmyownpathhashelpedmebuildtheentireframeworkofmylifeandtrustmyselfinsteadofchoosingtheeasywayoutbyfollowingwhatothersdo.

6.StopcomplainingForthemajorityofus,hardlyadaygoesbywithoututteringatleastafewcomplaints.Ihatethisweather.Thetrafficissobad.She’salwayslate.Howdareheservemecolddinner?None of these complaints provide value in our lives, yetwe continue to say them because it’s

easierthanactuallydoingsomethingaboutthesethings(oracceptingthemifwecan’tchangethem).It’s difficult and uncomfortable to stop complaining and instead turn toward solutions, but

ultimately it’s a powerful practice that will both help you grow as a person and becomemore incontrolofyourself.

BestsellingauthorandspeakerWillBowensuggestsa21-daycomplaintfast[xlii].Tocompletethechallenge,youcan’tcomplainforthreeweeksinarow.Aslipupsendsyoubacktodayone,makingitadifficultchallengethatwillrequireweeksormonthstocomplete.

I used to complain endlessly, especially about theweather.When I reduced the number ofmycomplaints (sometimes I still slip up) and accepted whatever I couldn’t control, my life becamehappierandeasier.This,inturn,helpedmedevelopmoreself-discipline.

7.OvercomeshynessFew things can limit your chances of success more than shyness. A lack of confidence is a

cripplingconditionthataffectseverysingleareaoflife,makingitdifficulttoachievegoalsandgrowasaperson.

It’salsooneofthemostchallengingproblemstodealwith,requiringincredibleamountsofself-discipline to overcome. You can only deal with shyness by putting yourself in uncomfortablesituationsonadailybasis.The shieryouare, themore stressful situationsyouhave to experiencebeforeyoubecomeconfident.

Monthsof constant exposure to stressors can test even the strongest people.However, thegoalyou’llultimatelyachieve–alifefreeofbeingshy–isoneofthemostimportantgoalsyoucaneveraccomplish.

Iusedtobeashypersonforalargepartofmylife.Itwasmyworstproblem,butalsooneofthebestthingsinmylifebecauseitforcedmetotraveltheuncomfortablepathtosolveit.

Evenifyoudon’tsufferfromterribleshyness(andmerelydon’tconsideryourselfaparticularlyconfident person), consider working on your self-confidence by exposing yourself to socialcircumstancesyouavoid(e.g.,speakingwithstrangers).

Hereareafewsimpleexercisestomakeyoumorecomfortablewithsocialawkwardness,which,inturn,willmakeyouamoreconfidentperson:

- talk with random strangers. Chatting up random strangers is a powerful way to get rid ofshyness.Ifyoulackconfidence,startwithsomethingsimpleandeasylikeaskingforthedirectionsortime(bonuspointsifyouaskforthetimewithaphoneinyourhandorawatchonyourwrist).Ifyouhavemorecourage,comeupwithweirderconversationaltopicsorevenflirt.

- practice eye contact. Initiate eye contact with strangers (or catch them gazing at you) andmaintainitforaslongasyoucan.Justdon’tforgettoblinkandkeepalightsmile.Otherwiseyoucanmakepeopleuncomfortable,andthat’snotthepointofthisexercise.Bonuspointsforinitiatingeyecontact,maintainingitandchattingupthepersonyou’relookingat.

-publicspeaking.Ifyou’reashyperson,fewthingsaremoreawkwardanddifficultthanstandingin front of a group of people and presenting something with a trembling voice and shaky legs.However, that’s exactly what you want to destroy your lack of confidence. I attended a fewToastmastersmeetingsinthepast,andIfoundthemaneffectivewaytogetusedtospeakinginfrontofstrangers(aswellasmakingnewfriends).

Obviously,thesesevenideaspresentjustafewdifferent,challengingthingsyoucanworkontoboth experience immense personal growth and boost your self-discipline. The key is to findsomethingthatwillforceyoutoputyourselfinuncomfortablesituationstogrowyourcomfortzone.

DISCOMFORTBUILDSCHARACTER:QUICKRECAP

1.Byvoluntarilyputtingyourself inuncomfortablesituationsyoulearnhowtodealwithadversity.Subsequently,youbecometougherandmoreself-disciplinedwheneveryou’llhavetodealwithnewdemandingsituations.

2. Exposing yourself to cold temperatures can teach you how to deal with painful short-termsituations. Itwill helpyoudevelopmore awarenessofyourown responses andhowyoucankeepgoingdespiteoverpoweringdiscomfort.

3.Fromtimetotime,trytodoawaywithsomethingyouusuallyneed–acertainhabitoranitem.Itwillhelpyouappreciateitmorewhileatthesametimebuildingyourtoughness(soincasesuchasituationhappensoutofyourcontrol,you’llbebetterabletohandleit).

4.Rejectiontherapy–makingitagoaltogetrejectedratherthanaccepted–isaneffectivewaytogetusedtothementaldiscomfortofbeingtold“no.”

5. Exposing yourself to failure is a valuable exercise to stay humble and experience morelearningopportunities.Alargepartofself-disciplineispersistence.Ifyoudevelopahabittogetupeach time you fall, you’ll have an easier time using your self-discipline in other situations thatdemandwillpower.

6.Developahabittodothemostdifficultthingswithnohesitation.Thelongeryouletyourselfthinkbeforedoingsomethingthatyoufindchallenging,themoredifficultitwillbetogatherenoughwillpowertodoit.Ifyoudon’tallowyourselftohesitate,soonyou’lldevelopahabitthatwillmakedealingwithweaknesseasier.

7.Difficultgoals requireagreatdealofmental toughnessandself-discipline toachieve. Ifyouconstantlygiveyourself newdifficult objectives to reach, you’ll not only achievemore success inyourlifebutalsolearnhowtokeepgoingdespitesetbacksanddifficulties.

8.Learningaforeignlanguageisoneofthebestself-discipline-buildingexercisesbecauseit’salongtermgoal(requiringatleastsixtotwelvemonthsofyourfocus)andbecauseitcancausealotoffrustrationstemptingyoutogiveup.

9.Otherskillsthatrequirealotofpatience(andthustestyourself-disciplineandhelpyougrow)include:sportsrequiringmasteringpropertechniquelikegolf,tennis,orchess;cooking,gardening,creativework,reading,orknitting;andcommunicationskills.

10.Challengingactivitiestohelpyougrowasapersonareaperfectwaytodevelopmorementaltoughness and self-discipline. They usually require you to replace your default comfort-friendlychoiceswith uncomfortable, but ultimatelymore beneficial, decisions.As a result, you’ll improveyour self-control. These goals and activities include: mastering honesty, trusting yourself, notcomplaining,andovercomingshyness.

Chapter4:LivewithIntentThe outer world follows your inner world. If there’s chaos in your mind, there’s chaos in yourexternalworld.Ifthere’snopeaceinyourhead,everythingaroundyoucanleadtostress.

If you have no discipline over your inner thoughts, you’re unlikely to enjoy a lot of self-disciplineinyoureverydaylife.

Fewpeoplelivetheirliveswithintent.Everybodyistoobusy,toolate,andtoodistractedtoslowdownandpaymoreattentiontowhatishappeningintheirheads.Consequently,theirinnerlifepassesthemby,influencingtheirouterworldwithoutthembeingconsciousofit.

Buildingself-disciplineisimmenselymoredifficultifyouonlyfocusontheexternalaspectofitanddisregardthepowerofyourmind.

If you develop a calmmind capable of handling its thoughts – filtering useless ones, formingpositiveones,andseekingjustificationsfordoingtherightthingsinsteadofcomingupwithexcusesfornotdoingthem–theactofself-controlwillbecomemucheasier.

Howdoyoustartlivingwithmoreintent?Itallstartswith...

Habit:SharpeningYourAwarenesswithQuietReposeAsfamousmanagementconsultantPeterDruckersaid,“Whatgetsmeasured,getsmanaged.”In thecaseofourthoughts,whatgetsobserved,getsmanaged.

Whileit’simpossibletomanageallofourthoughts(accordingtovariousestimates,wehaveupto70,000thoughtsaday[xliii]),wecanpayattentiontotheonesthatoccurmostfrequentlyandcontrolthem–ifwe’reonlyawareofthem.

Anaveragepersondoesn’tpayalotofattentiontoherthoughts.Sheassumessheisherthoughtsandherfeelings.Ifshehasafeelingofanxiety,sheisanxious.Ifshethinkssheisstupid,sheisstupid.Ifshefeelsshecan’tresistthetemptationanylonger,sheisnotself-disciplined.Sheassociatesherselfwiththefleetingthoughtsthatshouldreporttoher,andnottheotherwayaround.

Howcanyoubuildpermanentself-disciplineifyougivesomuchweighttoyourthoughts?Everydoubt in your mind will ruin your resolve and solidify the belief that you can’t become a moredisciplinedperson.

Therealizationthatyouarenotyourthoughtsandthattheyarepassingsensationsjustlikesmells,sights,orsounds,willhelpyourealizeit’syouwho’sincontrolofwhatyouthink.Whenyoudevelopthisability,you’llgainthepowertoshapeyourselfasyouwish.

The key to reaching this state of awareness is to regularly engage in the act of quiet repose.However,asmuchasIwouldliketoencourageeveryonetodeveloparegularhabitofmeditation,notallpeopleenjoyitandfinditworthwhile.Sittingstillwithyoureyesclosedcanbetooexhaustingorjustboring.

Ifyou’vetrieditanddidn’tfinditeffectiveafterdoingitforatleastafewweeks,hereareafewalternativesworthtesting.

1.ListenmindfullytomusicAndno,you’reunlikelytohaveameditativeexperiencewithheavymetal.Musicmostconducive

totuningdowntheworldaroundyouandexploringyourinnerworldisinstrumentalorhassoothingvocalsharmoniouswiththerhythmofthesong.Justlikewithmeditation,theobjectiveistomaketheworldaroundyoudisappearandreduceyourbeing to thesimpleactof justbeing there (or in thiscase,justlistening).

2.PracticeyogaortaichiYogaandtaichiareoneofthefewactivitiesthatgetyouasclosetomeditationasyoucanwithout

actuallymeditating.Maintainingaposewhilefocusingonyourbreathand lettinggoof the tension inyourbodyis

almostthedescriptionofmeditation.Theonlydifferenceisthatyou’renotsupposedtositstill,butengageinthemeditativeexperiencewithyourentirebody.

Outofallthesevenideaslistedhere,it’stheonlytypeofameditativeexperiencethatrequiresateacher to perform properly (technically you can learn it from books and videos, but it’s not anoptimalwaytogoaboutit).

3.JournalingTheactofwritingdownyourinnermostthoughtscanalsobeameditativeexperience.Ithelpsturn

down the volume of the chatter in yourmind and help you discover deeper layers of your innerworld.

Forbestresults,eitherjournalbyhandordoitonacomputerwithoutInternetaccess(oratleastwith email and socialmedia notifications turned off).Otherwise, it’s hard to fully immerse in theexperienceofprojectingyourthoughtsontoapieceofpaper(orscreen).

4.WalkingmeditationWalkingmeditationisoriginallyknownaskinhininBuddhism.However,thepracticeofkinhinis

morestructuredandrequireswalkingclockwisearoundaroomwhiletakingstepssynchronizedwithbreath.

Youdon’thavetofollowthispracticetoaT–themereactofmindfulwalkingcanbeameditativeexperience, too. For the best results, go to a park, a forest, or any other green placewith as fewdistractionsaspossible.Whilewalking,focussolelyontheactofwalkingandyourmostimmediatesurroundings.

I used to do hill sprints a tenminutewalk frommy apartment. Each time I returned frommyworkout,mymindwasfilledwithendorphinsandnaturallymorepronetoenteringameditative-likeexperience.

Oftentimes,lostinthought,Icouldn’tevenrememberalargepartofmywalkbackhome.That’spreciselythefeelingyou’reafter–gettingsolostinyourinnerworldthatyoustopthinkingaboutallofthedistractionsoftheexternalworld.

5.GazingmeditationIf you can’t stand sitting still with your eyes closed, gazing meditation is an option for you.

KnownastrāṭakainHinduism,thismethodofmeditationinvolvesstaringatasinglepoint.Itcanbesomethingassimpleasablackdotonthewall,a tree infrontofyouoracandleflame(justdon’tgazeatthesun,okay?).

Justlikeanyothertypeofmeditation,gazingmeditationisalsoeffectiveatcalmingtherestlessmind.Italsohelpsbeginnersmaintainfocusmoreeffectivelythansittingwitheyesclosed.Staringatasinglepointismorecomfortable.

Attimes,Ipracticethistypeofmeditationinsteadoftheregulareyes-closedstyle.It’sespeciallysoothingwhenyou’resittinginthewildernessandgazeatsomethingbeautiful(say,aflowerinthemiddleofameadoworanoldtreeanditsrustlingleaves).

6.BreathingmeditationWhile the traditional style of meditation is also about the focus on breathing, in this type of

meditationyouplaceallofyourfocusonbreath.There arevarious stylesyoucan follow.Someprescribe long, slow inhales andquickexhales.

Others recommend slow inhales, long pauses, and then slow exhales. No matter which breathingtechniqueyouuse,thekeyistoshiftallofyourthoughtstotheactofdeepbreathing.

Providingyourbodywithmoreoxygenthanusual(mostpeopledon’tbreathedeeplyduringtheday)willhaveanadditionaleffectofgivingyoumoreenergy,soit’sagoodideatopracticethistypeofmeditationinthemorning.

7.GratitudemeditationIf the regular style ofmeditation is too boring for you because you can’t stop having random

thoughtsconstantlypoppinginyourmind,considerreplacingthemwiththoughtsofgratitude.Ifyouoccupyyourmindwithacertaintypeofthought(inthiscase,appreciation),otherthoughts

will stop appearing randomly (or at least stop occurring so frequently). This makes the act ofmaintaininginnerfocusandtuningouttheworldaroundyoueasier.

Anadditionaladvantageofthistypeofmeditationisitsmood-enhancingcharacteristic.Youcan’thelpbutfeelhappierwhenyousitforfiveortenminutesandcomeupwithdozensorevenhundredsofreasonswhyyourlifeisincredible.

Allofthesemeditativeactivitieswillhelpyoubecomemoreawareofyourinnerthoughts.Onceyoubecomeconsciousofthem,youcanstartlivingwithmoreintentandcontroloveryourthoughts.You’llbeabletoshiftthemfromnegativetopositiveorobservethemwithoutjudgmentandletthemgo.

Thispractice,whenrepeateddaily,buildsself-controlforyourmind–you’llbemorecapableofdealingwith nagging thoughts as well as impulsive emotionswhich always originate as a certainthought.

Acravingforsomethingisnothunger–it’sapassingsensationthatgetseasier toovercomeifyouknow that itpasses just likeanyother thought. Ifyouareawareof the thoughtof“This looksdelicious” and can separate it from your actual state before it turns into the feeling of hunger,controllingyourimpulseswillbemucheasier.

Trydepersonalizingthecravingbythinking“mybodyfeelshunger”or“hungerisbeingfelt.”Ifyou’re the person observing the emotion,who’s actually feeling it?Most certainly not you – andthat’sahelpfulmind-bendingtricktohandletemptationsbetter.

Thesameappliestothoughtsofdefeatordiscouragement–justlikethefeelingofacraving,theyare passing. True, they can linger formore than a fewminutes, but they also pass – just like therandomthoughtsappearinginyourmindasyoumeditate.Bysimplybeingawareofthisfact,youcangrowyourabilitytowaitonthesefeelingsbeforetheyurgeyoutotakethe(wrong)action.

Please keep in mind, I’m by no means a meditation expert. Some of the types of meditativepractices Imentionedbeforehave fluiddefinitionsandcanbeused interchangeablyorat the sametime.Forinstance,youcancombinewalkingmeditationwithgratitudemeditationorcombineyogaandlisteningwithintenttocalmingmusic.

Aspecialalternative,or rather,a supplementalactivity inaddition tosome typeofameditativepracticeis...

Exercise:EmbracingtheTunnelVisionMeditationisnotonlysomethingdoneasaspecificactivityataspecifictime.Youcanalsopracticeiton a daily basis to becomemore in control over distractions. Each time you slow down, becomemindfulofwhatyoudo,andfocusonthesensationaspecificexperiencegivesyou,yougainmorecontroloveryourmind.

Eachday,wemisshundreds,ifnotthousands,ofspecialexperiencesjustbecausewe’redistractedby other things. Oftentimes, these distractions lead us to give in to temptations, sometimesunconsciously.

You’relateforameeting,soyougrabthefirstpieceoffoodyoucanreach(usuallysomethingunhealthy) and go on your way. If you slowed down and cleared your mind of the distractingthoughts,temptationswouldbemuchlesschallengingtoovercome.

Embracingthetunnelvisioncanhelpwiththis.Thefirstcomponentofthisexerciseistobeabletoslowdown.Youcan’tdoitwellifyou’reinahurry.Ifyoucansetasideatleastafewminutes(orjustutilizebreaksbetweenyouractivities)whenyoucantrulyfocusonthepresentmomentwithoutworryingaboutwhatyou’reabouttodo,youcanproceedtothesecondstep–becomingmindful.

As an example, let’s sayyou’reout in thewoods enjoying abriefwalk.Whilebeing innaturealoneisconducivetofewerdistractions,there’ssomethingmoreyoucandotoenterameditative-likestateandclearyourmind.

Pickupaleaf,touchthebarkofatree,orlookatabirdorasquirrel.Engageallofyoursenses;letyourselfbeswallowedbytheexperienceofit.Tracethecontoursoftheleaf.Feelitstexture.Gazeatitsintensecolor.Smellit.

Useyourwillpower to focusallofyourattentionon the leaf inyourpalm.Tuneout theworldaround you. Let yourself feel all these weird sensations of getting intimate with a leaf. In thebeginning,youprobablywon’tbeabletodoitlongerthanafewseconds.Afterall,whointheirrightmindspendsaminuteortwostaringatasimpleleaf(andforthatmatter,whotheheckwithasanemindtalksabout“gettingintimate”withaleaf?).

However, the disciplined practice of seeing the little details everybody else ignores not onlymakestheworldamuchmoreinterestingplace,butalsosharpensyourawareness.Asaresult,youbecomemoreequippedtoidentifyanddealwithtemptationsbeforetheybecomeoverbearing.

Theproblemwithmanyself-defeating feelingsand thoughts isnotonly that theyarise. It’s thatyouaren’tawareofthemandletthemdictateyourbehaviorwithoutpayingmuchattentiontoit.

Ourmindsareincredibleatjustifyingeverysingleactionwetake.It’sonlyinretrospectwhenwecansaythatourdecisionswerestupidanddictatedbyhowwefeltataspecificmoment(anditdoesn’tsoundlikehealthydecisionmaking,doesit?).

A short attention span is what causes this problem. By embracing the tunnel vision regularly,you’ll improve your ability to focus and thus reduce the risk of making emotionally-motivateddecisions.

Exercise:TalkwithYourFutureSelfEach timeyouchooseasmaller rewardnowinsteadofa larger reward later,you’re robbingyourfuture self.We’re bad at envisioning our future selves and associating who we are now with thepersonwe’llbeinayear.

Thispersonsoundslikeastranger,notlikeus.Andsinceit’sastranger,it’seasiertoclaimsmallrewardsnowthantowaitforbetterrewardslater.Afterall,we’reherenow,notinthefuture,right?

Inpsychology, there’saconceptcalled temporaldiscounting[xliv]– the tendency togivegreatervaluetorewardsreceivednoworsoonincomparisontotherewardsreceivedlaterinthefuture.Youprefer$100nowover$200inayearorafreepizzain2hoursovertwofreepizzasin6months.

When applied to self-discipline, due to the temporal discounting, you’ll give more value tosatisfying your craving now than achieving your ideal physique in 6 months. After all, the firstrewardisreal,atyourfingertips,andthesecondreward(andthevisionofyouin6months)isjustaconcept,somethingdifficulttoimagine.

TheexerciseI’mabouttodescribeismeanttosolvethisproblem.Wehaveproblemsimaginingourselves in the future because we rarely do it. You can solve the problem of the disassociationbetween your present self and your future self by writing a letter to your present self from theperspectiveofyourfutureself.

Let’s say you’d like to lose twenty pounds and get fit. However, you struggle with this goalbecauseyoucan’t givemorevalue to the future reward (healthyphysique)over the instant reward(eatingfoodyoulove).Consequently,instantgratificationalwayswins.

Nowimagineyourselfinthefutureasapersonwhohasn’tachievedthisgoal,whodecidedtorobhisorherfutureself.Makethepictureevenworsethanyourcurrentsituation–youweighevenmorethannow,andyourweightkeepsgoingup.

Whatwouldyourfuture(obese)selfsay?Wouldheorshebehappythatyou’vechosencavingintoatemptationoverachievingthelongtermgoal?Howdoestheperspectiveofanevenworsefutureaffectyourself-disciplinetoday?

Ifyouimagineeverysingledetailandmakeitanemotionalprocessofvisualization,chancesareyourfutureselfwillceasebeingavirtualconceptandbecomesomethingreal.

Youcanalsotrytheoppositebyimaginingyourfutureselfasapersonwhohasachievedthegoaloflosingweight.Whatwouldyourfuture(fit)selfsayaboutstickingtoyourgoal?Howwouldthepathtowardtheobjectivelooktoapersonwhohasalreadyachievedit?

It’softeneasiertoimaginereachingthegoal(andthepersonyou’llbecome)ifyouvisualizetheperfectresultandthentracebackeverysinglestepneededtoaccomplishit(vsfiguringitoutfromwhereyouarenow).

Exercise:BuildYourCompassHowawareareyouofyourmost importantvaluesandpriorities in life?Howdo theyaffectyourdecisionmakingprocess?

When asked, most people wouldn’t hesitate to say their most important values include health,family,orfreedom.Yet,theirdailylivesdon’treflectitbecausetheydon’thaveclearrulesregardingtheirvalues–apersonalcompasstoguidethem.

Everyseveralmonths,makealistofyourmostimportantvaluesandaskyourselfwhetheryoureveryday actions follow them. One of the most powerful forces is the need for integrity. If youuncover that health is of utmost importance to you, but recently you’ve gained a few pounds andstoppedexercisingasoftenasbefore,itcangiveyouakickneededtogetbackontrack.

Livingwithintentrequiresaclearmindandfocus.Havingasetofclearly-definedvalues(andthefollowinghabitsor rulesyouneed topractice tobeconsistentwith them)willhelpyoumaintainasteadylevelofself-disciplineinlife.

LIVEWITHINTENT:QUICKRECAP1.Acalm,focusedmindisapowerfultoolthatwillhelpyouresisttemptationsandreachyourgoalsdespite setbacks, failures, and distractions. Living with intent is amust if you’d like to become apersonwithalotofself-control.

2. Living with intent starts with sharpening your awareness. The easiest way to becomemorefocusedandpresentinsteadofdistractedandmindlessistoengageinameditativepractice.Theactoffocusingontheinnerworldandquietingtheexternalworldaroundyouisoneofthekeystoacalm,disciplinedmind.

3.Inadditiontoregularmeditation, thereareat leastsevenalternatives.Youcantryeachtoseewhich ismost effective at helping you calm the chatter in your head.You can listenmindfully tomusic, practice yoga or tai chi, try journaling, or experimentwithwalking, gazing, breathing, orgratitudemeditation.Youcaneventryamixture.

4.Withouttheabilitytoseethelittlethingsanduseallofyoursenseswhiledoingso,discoveringwhatmakesyoupronetogiveintotemptationwillbemoredifficult.Embracingthetunnelvision–exercisingyourfocusonasinglethingtoexperienceitwithallyoursenses–ishelpfultoimproveyourattentionspanandpreventmakingemotionaldecisions.

5.Due to temporaldiscounting,peopleareprone togivegreatervalue to rewards theycangetsoon (in hours) than the rewards they’ll get in the future (inweeks ormonths), even if the futurerewardsarebigger.Imaginingyourfutureselfcanmaketheprospectoffutureeasiertograsp.Asaresult,you’llstoprobbingthepersonyou’llbecomeofrewardsjustbecauseyougivemorevaluetoyourcurrentself(eveniftherewardismuchsmallerandnotbeneficialforyoulongterm).

6.Haveacompassofyourpersonalvalues.Withoutaclearlydefinedsetofprioritiesinlife,it’seasy to stray off the course and do things that don’t reflect what you believe in. Periodicallyreminding yourself of what’s most important to you can help you make changes to regain self-controlandfixthecrucialthingsyou’veneglected.

Chapter5:BurnoutandDiscouragement–It’sNotAllAboutSelf-Discipline

It was one of those days when I felt too exhausted to go to the gym, but went anyway. After ademandingworkout,Igotbackhomewithlegsthatfeltlikehugestonesandatense,achingback.

Icalledafriendandwewenttoasauna.Ithoughtitwouldbeagreatwaytorelaxmybodyandrecoverfrommyworkout.

Notthistime.Afterspendingtenminutes inadrysauna,Isubmergedforafewminutes inapoolof icecold

water,asIusuallydo.Icouldfeelsomethingwaswrongalmostrightaway.MyvisionblurredandIbecamedizzy.

Iignoredthesesymptoms.Ithoughttheywouldpassinasecond.But theydidn’t.Acoupleofminutes later, I realized that if Ididn’t leave thepool rightaway, I

wouldfaint.Iclimbedthepoolladderoutwiththeworldspinningaroundme.Leaningagainstthewall,IbarelymadeafewshakystepsbeforeIhadtositdownonthefloorsoI

wouldn’tfall.FortenminutesIfoughtwithintensevertigoandnausea.Ifinallyresigned,askingmyfriendto

call the lifeguard for assistance. It took me about an hour of cooling my neck (lifeguard’sprescription)andsufferingtheworstfeelingofdizzinessinmylifebeforeIcouldgotothelockerroom.IttookmeanotherthirtyminutesofsittinginthecarbeforeIwasreadytodrive,andanotherfewhoursofsleepathomebeforeIfinallyfeltwellagain.

ThenextdayIwokeupwithasorethroat,painfuljoints,andfull-bodyexhaustion.Iwassickforafewdays,unabletodoanythingproductive,letalonegotothegym.ItwouldbeafewmonthsbeforeIwouldbebraveenoughtogotothesaunaagain.Tothisday,Idon’tfeelentirelycomfortablestayinginadrysaunaforlongerthanafewminutes.

I have since learnedmy lesson that nobody is indestructible.My obsessionwith self-disciplinewenttoofar.Inotonlyignoredthefirstsignal(bygoingtothegym),butthesecondoneaswell(notimmediatelyleavingtheicecoldpoolwhensomethingfeltwrong).

Now I paymore attention tomy body and givemyself regular breaks fromworkouts and nolongerplaytooaggressivelywithextremetemperatures.Istillchallengemyself,butdosoinasaferwaytoavoidoverextendingmyself.

Ifyou’reanything likeme,youmayfeel tempted to thinkyoucanwithstandmuchmore thanaregularperson.Butasmuchasbeingmentallytoughishelpful,itdoesn’tmeanyoushouldcrossallthelimitsanddothingsthatendangeryourhealthoryourlife.

StretchYourself,butDon’tBreakYourselfDeliberately putting yourself into uncomfortable situations is helpful, but don’t forget it shouldn’tbecomeunbearable.Every exercise in this book ismeant to be practiced often, but notwhenyourbodyisgivingyouobvioussignalsitcan’ttakemore.

The same applies to your mental strength.While willpower probably depends on whether webelieve it’s limited or not[xlv] (and not, like Kelly McGonigal[xlvi] and Roy Bauimester[xlvii] say,dependsonyourglucoselevels),there’sapointwhendiscomfortbecomestoomuchtohandle.Thesweet spot is to stretch your comfort zone to such an extent that you feel challenged, but not toothreatenedorfrustrated.

Goingpast thebearable levelofdiscomfortcan result indiminishedeffectiveness,andoften innegativeoutcomesthatactuallyworkagainstyou.

Hardcoreworkaholicsareproudtowork70+hoursaweek,thinkingthey’resoextremelyself-disciplinedandtougheverybodyshouldclaptheirhandswhentheyseethem.Infact,whattheydoisthetotaloppositeofsmart.Researchhasproventhatsomeonewhoworks70hoursproducesnothingmorewiththoseextra15hoursthanapersonworking55hoursaweek[xlviii].

Iused tofollowaroutineofwriting3,000wordseverysingleday. Istuck to it foracoupleofmonths,feelingproudofmyselfandmyabilitytowritesomucheverysingleday.Thenonedaymyentire willpower was gone, replaced by frustration and overwhelming reluctance. Even writing asingle sentence was toomuch.My routine became too demanding, and nothing but taking a longbreakcouldhelpmegetbacktowriting.

IfIstartedwithwriting1,000wordsadayandthengraduallyincreasedmywordcountuntilitfeltchallenging,butstillnottoodemanding,Iwouldprobablyhaveneverexperiencedsuchaburnout.

True,Iwouldonlywriteupto1,500wordsorsoaday,butmyroutinewouldbemoresustainable,andthusmoreeffectivelong-term.

Self-disciplineisn’tbuiltovernight.Ifyouwanttobecomementallytougherandmoreincontroloveryourtemptations,playthelonggameandprioritizesustainabilityoverquickresults.

Ifyouwanttointroducemorediscomfortinyourlifeforthepurposeofbecomingtougherandmoredisciplined,rememberthatit’snotaboutputtingtoomuchstressonyourselffortheshortterm.It’saboutdesensitizing–gradualandrepeatedexposuretoastressor.

Without proper rest, you won’t master new skills quickly, recover enough to have anotherworkout,orsticktoyourroutineformorethanafewmonths.

Each timeyousetanewdaily routineoragoalyou’d like toachieve,don’t forget toschedulebreak times. Itcanbeoneor twodaysaweekwhenyoudon’tpracticeatall, regularcheatdays tohave a psychological break from the diet, a day or two of guilt-free lazinesswhenworking on abusiness,ortwoweeksofvacationeachyear.

PositiveMindsetIsEssentialforMentalToughness(andViceVersa)

Theessenceofbuildingself-disciplineandmentaltoughnessismakingyourlifehardersoyoucanbetterhandletemptations,setbacks,andfailuresinlife.

Inadditiontomakingyoutougher,theseexercisescanhelpyouappreciatewhatyouhavemore.Consequently,youbecomeamoregratefulpersonwithapositivemindsetthatwillsupportyouonadailybasis.

If you start a 30-day cold shower challenge, a month from now you’ll gain a newfoundappreciationforthe24/7availabilityofhotshowers.Ifyoustartlearningaforeignlanguage,you’llbecomemoreappreciativeofthefactyoualreadyspeakthemostimportantlanguageintheworld.Ifyouskipfoodfor24-48hours,you’llgainmoregratitudefor thefact there’salwaysfood inyourfridge(andyou’llenjoyitstastemore,too).

AsI’vealreadycovereditinmybook,PureandSimple:HowtoSimplifyYourLife,DoLess,andGetMore, gratitude is oneof thekeys tohave apositivemindset. It improvesmental andphysicalhealth,helpsmakefriends,reducesaggression,increasesempathy,andalleviatesstressandtrauma.

Workingonyourself-disciplineandmental toughnesswillhelpyoubecomeamoresuccessfulperson.However, it’syourabilitytoappreciatewhatyouhaveandkeepapositiveoutlookthatwillhelpyougetbackontrackafteraparticularlydefeatingfailureorsetback.

Ifself-disciplineistheonlyreasonwhyyoukeepgoing,onedayyoucanfindyourselfdepletedofyourwillpower.Thesecondlayerofmotivation–apositivemindset–willkeepyougoingwhenyoudon’tfeellikedoinganythingandallwillpowerisgone.

“Easy”temptationslikenoteatingacakeduringadiet,notwantingtoputonjoggingshoes,orclicking thesnoozebutton insteadofwakingupearlycanbedealtwithusingself-disciplinealone.Trainyourwillpower,developbetterdefaultresponsesandyoucanovercomethemajorityofthesetemptations.

Hard,unexpected temptationsandproblemschallengingyour resolvecanwreakhavoconyourself-discipline.

Ifyou’velostabusiness,willpowerandtoughnessalonemightnotbeenoughtogetbackontrackandstartanotherbusinesswithindaysafterthefailure.

Tough, self-disciplined people may feel tempted to blame themselves for everything that hashappenedtothem.Orworseyet–theymayfindthemselvestemptedtokeepworkingonthebusiness,thinkingthatgivingup(whenitwouldmakesensetodoso)wouldbeasignofaweakness.

Peoplewho can appreciatewhat they still have (for instance, a supportingwifeor the learningexperience)havesomethingmoreusefulinsuchasituationthanmereself-discipline–psychologicalresilienceandtheabilitytomoveon.Ifsomethingfails,itfails.Learnthelessonsandkeepgoing.

Focusingonthepositiveemotion(gratitude)insteadofthenegativeone(guilt)iswhatwillhelpyouavoidthelongspiraldown.There’saworldofdifferencebetweenapersonwhocheatsandthenblamesherselfforbeingweak-mindedandapersonwhotellsherself“it’sfinetoslipupeverynowandthen,nowit’sjusttimetohopbackonthetrain.”

Thefirstpersonwillkeepblamingherself,possiblyforsolongandsoseverelyshe’llrealizeitmakesnosensetocontinueworkingonwhatevergoalshehadbeenworkingon.Thesecondperson–whiletechnicallyexperiencingthesamesetbackasthefirstperson–willnotmakeitworsebylettingherselffeelguilty.She’llpickupwheresheleftoffandkeepmovingforward.

JustlikeIshouldn’thavegonetothegymwhenIfeltclearsignsofovertraining,youshouldn’talwaysdemandperfecttoughnessandself-disciplinefromyourself.Movewiththewind,don’tresistit.

HowFocusingonNegativityCanRuinYourSelf-Discipline

We’re naturally wired to focus more on negativity than positivity. In psychology, it’s called thenegativitybias[xlix].Somethingverypositivehasasmallerimpactonyourbehaviorthansomethingofequalemotionalstrength,butnegative.

It’s aMondaymorning, the fifthweekofAlice’s diet.She stepson the scales and sees that herweighthasgonedownbyanotherpound.She’shappyandgrateful,butshequicklyforgetsabout itbecauseshe’sbeensteadilylosingherweightforthelastfiveweeks.

Anotherweekhaspassed.Shelooksatthenumberandfreezes.Insteadoflosinganotherpound,shehasgainedapound.

Apoundmoreshouldcarrythesameemotionalload(albeitnegative)thanlosingapoundaweekago.Yet,nowherbehavioriscompletelydifferent.

Shedoesn’tforgetaboutitrightaftersteppingoffthescales.Shekeepsthinkingaboutitfortheentireday,ifnottheentireweek.

Shethinksshemessedsomethingup,ormaybeherdietjustnolongerworksandit’sbettertogiveupthanexperienceyetanotherletdownnextweek.

Can you see how easy it is to destroy your entire progress by putting too much focus onnegativity?

Fortunately,aprocesscalledcognitivereappraisal[l]–reinterpretingthemeaningofthenegativeeventtogiveitapositiveslant–canhelphandlethisproblem.

InAlice’scase,wecanreinterpretitinafewdifferentways.She can either reinterpret it as gaining a poundofwater, thusmaking it a short-termproblem.

Then it wouldn’t be a sign of her diet losing its effectiveness, just a temporary condition, whichshouldpreventanyemotionalbehaviorsfromhappening.

Shecanreinterpretitasgainingapoundofmuscle.Insomepeople,it’spossibletoburnfatandgainmuscleatthesametime,andthatisevenbetterforAlice’sphysiquethanonlylosingapoundoffat.

Shecanalsoreinterpretitasanopportunitytotakeacloserlookatherdietandmakesureshe’sbeenfaithfultoherresolutions.Perhapssheslippedupanddidn’tnoticeit?Apoundgainedthisweekcanhelpherreversethetrendbeforeitgetsworse.

You can use cognitive reappraisal for every similar situation to change its meaning and stopyourselffromfallingintodespair.

WhattoDoWhenYou’reStuckinaFunkorSufferfromNegativeSelf-Talk

When working on self-discipline, it’s easy to go from one extreme (a lack of self-discipline) toanother(beingtootoughonyourself).Nowthatyou’reworkingonyourdiscipline,youtendtogettougheronyourselfandcriticizeyourselfevenmoreoftenandmoreheavilythanbefore.

Soon, negative self-talk follows, berating you for every single failure or even a temptation(includingtheonesyouwereabletoovercome).It’scleartoseeit’snotanoptimalwaytobuildlong-termself-discipline.

Howdoyoudealwiththisproblemandempoweryourselfwithyourthoughtsinsteadofbringingoutyourinnercritic?Startwithdevelopingmoreself-compassion.

In her book “The CharismaMyth: How Anyone CanMaster the Art and Science of PersonalMagnetism”OliviaFoxCabanesaysthatthehigherone’slevelofself-compassion,thelowerone’slevel of self-pity[li]. Self-pity brings out all of those pesky negative thoughts and hinders ourprogress.

There are several ways to buildmore self-compassion and consequently get out of a funk orescapenegativeself-talk.

Myfavoriteone–andalsothesimplestone–istomakealistofwaystoboostyourmoodthatmakeyoufeelyoucareaboutyourself.Eachtimeyoufeelstuckorberateyourselfforhowstupid,weak,unworthy,oruntalentedyouare,checkyourlistandgetyourenergylevelsup.

I have 31 such things on my list I titled “Ways to Go from Pain to Pleasure and Feel GoodImmediately.”Togiveyouafewexamples,thelistcontainsthingsassimpleaslisteningtoaspecificgenreofmusic(includingspecifictracks),sittinginthesun,ortalkingwithfriendsaswellasmorecreativewayssuchasgivingsomeoneagift,tellingsomeoneIappreciateher,orcomingupwithnewideas.

Makeyourownlist.Readiteachtimeyoufeeldownandpickathingortwotoboostyourmood.It’sdifficulttocomeupwithwaystoliftyourspiritsifyoufeeldiscouragedorfrustrated.Havingareadylistofprovenwaystogetbetterishelpfultoremindyourselftherearethingsyoucandotofeelbetter,andit’syourchoicetoremaininanunproductivestateofmind.

Youcanalsogetoutofafunkbyinfluencingyourbodylanguageinsteadofyourmind.Ifyoustandupright,lightupyourfacewithawidesmile(itdoesn’tmatterifit’sfake),andstartjumpingupanddownwhilewavingyourhands,it’svirtuallyimpossibletostaydepressed.

Sciencesupportsthiswildadvice.Astudyconductedonpowerposinghasshownthatassumingahigh-powerbodylanguagecausesneuroendocrineandbehavioralchanges[lii].Itelevatestestosterone,decreasescortisol,and increases feelingsofpowerand tolerancefor risk.Assumingapowerposeforjustaminuteortwoisenoughtomakeyoufeelmorepowerful–andnotjusthaveafakefeelingofpower.

If you suffer fromnegative self-talk due to being tougher on yourself than on other people, asimplevisualizationtechniquecanalsohelp.Insteadoflookingatyourselfthroughyourowneyes,imagineyou’reafriend,familymember,oranyoneelsewholovesyou.

How does your perception of yourself changewhen you look at yourself through the eyes ofsomeonewho lovesyou?Asimple realization thatyouwouldn’t treatothersyou loveasyou treatyourselfcanhelpyoueliminate,oratleastreducethenegativeself-talk.

Don’tforgetthatnegativeself-talkdoesn’tnecessarilyhavetocomefromyourinnercritic.Itcanalsobearesultofatiredbody–whenyou’veovertrained,havebeenfollowingastrictdietfortoolong,orhaven’tsleptwellforthepastweek.

Ifyourbodyistired,it’seasytogetintoacrankymoodandstartdoubtingyourselforthinkingthat you can’t bear anything for much longer. Check your physical state and make sure you getenoughsleep,nutrients(dietingcansometimescausedeficiencies),sun(alackofvitaminDthebodysynthesizeswithsunexposurecanpossiblycausedepression[liii]),andquiettime(ahecticschedulecanelevateyourstresslevels).

BURNOUTANDDISCOURAGEMENT–IT’SNOTALLABOUTSELF-DISCIPLINE:QUICKRECAP

1.Discomfortisnotalwaysagoodidea.Ifyourbodyisscreamingtotakecareofit,don’tputitintonew stressful situations. Develop a keen sense of your energy levels as well as your generalwellbeing.Thepointoftheexercisesinthisbookisn’ttoendangeryourhealthorturnyourlifeintoanightmare.

2.Whilegrowth rarely (if ever)happens ifyouconstantlyavoiddiscomfort, there’sa fine linebetweenbeneficialandempoweringdiscomfortand thepaniczonewhen thingsget toostressful. Ifyouput toomuchonyour shoulders andexpect toperformwell in the long term,you’re in for anastysurprise.

3.A positivemindset is a necessary part of a personality needed to become a self-disciplined,relentless person. Sometimes your willpower won’t be enough to keep going after a particularlydevastating blow, or simply the act of constantly being tough will exhaust you. In these cases, apositive outlook can help you get back on track by redirecting your focus from the failure to theappreciationofwhatyouhave.

4.Guiltisneveragoodemotionforapersonbuildingself-discipline.Itincreasesthelikelihoodofmakingyourslip-upevenmoreseverebythinkingthatthefailureisworsethanitactuallyis.Notresistingthetemptationtoeatacandybarisnottheendofyourdietaslongasyoudon’tfollowitwithguilt-motivatedwhy-the-hell-not-I-already-failedbingeeating.

5.Duetothenegativitybias,wefocusmoreonnegativeeventsthanthepositiveones(eveniftheycarrythesameemotionalweight).Youcanusecognitivereappraisaltoreinterpretthemeaningofthebadeventandturnitintoapositiveone.Thankstothisprocess,you’llavoidthediscouragementthatcanincreasethechancesoflosingyourwillpower.

6. You can deal with negative self-talk and/or get out of a funk by developing more self-compassion.Someofthemosteffectivestrategiesincludemakingalistofwaystopamperyourself,changing your body language tomimic the appearance of a happy person, or looking at yourselffromtheperspectiveofsomeoneelse.Anegativemindsetisoftenalsotheresultofsleepdeficiencies,a deficiency of certain nutrients (including vitamin D), or going too long with a strict diet or aworkoutschedule.

EpilogueWe’vecoveredalotofhabits,exercises,andmindsetshifts thatwillhelpyoubecomeamoreself-disciplinedperson.However,itdoesn’tmeanyoushouldstartchangingeverysingleaspectofyourliferightaway.Forthebestresults,pickoneortwothingsyou’dliketoimproveandproceedfromthereonceyoumakethechangesandbecomemoredisciplined.

Ifyouaren’tfityet,workingonyourhealthandfitnessshouldbecomeyourpriority.There’snoother goal that is more important than developing proper healthy habits.Without a healthy body,nothingelsematters.

Moving fromanunhealthyandoverweightperson toa fit,vibrant individual isoneof thebestchanges you can undergo to develop your general discipline. With renewed energy levels and aheightened sense of well-being, all other challenges will be much easier and more enjoyable toachieve.

Learning how to be consistent and stay the course is the most powerful secret behind mentaltoughnessandself-discipline.Ifyouadheretoyourroutineandreachalong-termgoalinoneaspectofyourlife,achievingthesameinotherareaswillbeeasier.Successtendstobreedsuccess,butfirstyou have to experience some smallwins – and they are themost crucial in the health and fitnessdepartment.

If you’re already a fit person, feel free to pick any other habit or exercise. Ideally, choosesomethingrelatedtoyourlong-termgoals.

Ifyoufindyourselfgivingupwhenworkingondifficultgoals(orifyouhaveatendencytojumpfromonethingtoanotherwithoutevermasteringanything),chooseadifficultskillorsporttomasteranddedicateyourselftotheprocessoflearning.Useitasatoolforself-introspectionandbuildingyourownarsenalofweaponstodealwithself-defeatingthoughtsandbehaviors.

Everythingvaluableinliferequirestimeanddedication.Theworldwantsyoutoproveyoucareabout whatever you’re chasing after. Only the ones who can maintain discipline, motivation,determination,andcommitmentoverthelongtermwillenjoytherewardofachievingtheirgoals.Ifyouexhibitthiskindofanattitudeandconstantlyremindyourselfofit,I’msureyou’llpushthroughalltheobstaclesandgetwhereveryouwanttoget.

DownloadanotherBookforFreeIwanttothankyouforbuyingmybookandofferyouanotherbook(justasvaluableasthisbook),Grit:HowtoKeepGoingWhenYouWanttoGiveUp,completelyfree.

Clickthelinkbelowtoreceiveit:http://www.profoundselfimprovement.com/dailyselfdisciplineInGrit,I’llsharewithyouexactlyhowtosticktoyourgoalsaccordingtopeakperformersand

science.Inaddition togettingGrit,you’llalsohaveanopportunity togetmynewbooksfor free,enter

giveaways,andreceiveothervaluableemailsfromme.Again,here’sthelinktosignup:http://www.profoundselfimprovement.com/dailyselfdiscipline

CouldYouHelp?I’dlovetohearyouropinionaboutmybook.Intheworldofbookpublishing,therearefewthingsmorevaluablethanhonestreviewsfromawidevarietyofreaders.

Yourreviewwillhelpother readersfindoutwhethermybookis for them.Itwillalsohelpmereachmorereadersbyincreasingthevisibilityofmybook.

AboutMartinMeadowsMartinMeadows is the pen name of an authorwho has dedicated his life to personal growth. Heconstantlyreinventshimselfbymakingdrasticchangesinhislife.

Overtheyears,hehasregularlyfastedforover40hours,taughthimselftwoforeignlanguages,lostover30poundsin12weeks,ranseveralbusinessesinvariousindustries,tookice-coldshowersandbaths,livedonasmalltropicalislandinaforeigncountryforseveralmonths,andwrotea400-pagelongnovel’sworthofshortstoriesinonemonth.

Yet, self-torture is not his passion.Martin likes to test his boundaries to discover how far hiscomfortzonegoes.

Hisfindings(basedbothonhispersonalexperienceandscientificstudies)helphimimprovehislife. If you’re interested in pushing your limits and learning how to become the best version ofyourself,you’llloveMartin’sworks.

©Copyright2015byMeadowsPublishing.Allrightsreserved.Reproduction inwhole or in part of this publicationwithout expresswritten consent is strictly

prohibited. The author greatly appreciates you taking the time to read his work. Please considerleavingareviewwhereveryouboughtthebook,ortellingyourfriendsaboutit,tohelpusspreadtheword.Thankyouforsupportingourwork.

Efforts have been made to ensure that the information in this book is accurate and complete.However, the author and the publisher do not warrant the accuracy of the information, text, andgraphicscontainedwithin thebookdue to the rapidlychangingnatureof science, research,knownandunknownfacts,andtheInternet.Theauthorandthepublisherdonotholdanyresponsibilityforerrors, omissions or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. This book is presentedsolelyformotivationalandinformationalpurposesonly.

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