Defense Mechanisms(FS Psychology and Counseling Glossary)

• Denial• Repression• Reaction Formation: a tactic for

reinforcing repression by adopting behaviors that are the opposite of the repressed behaviors

• Suppression

Defense Mechanisms (cont’d)

• Displaced Aggression• Projection• Identification: taking on personality

traits of another person• Regression• Sublimation

Difficult Situations

• Winning Ways Chapters 19-25

“Fight”(Wolfelt in Director 2000)

• In times of conflict you can take 2 positions:1) digging in your heels and believing you are right

2) desiring to learn and understand what is motivating the other’s behavior

Recommendations

• evaluate conflict-management styles• identify and plan strategies• positive feedback• confront problem situations at once• invite comments• humor and humility• encourage dissent appropriately• review the value of the relationship

Recommendations (cont’d)

• clarify• know your “buttons”• “Listen twice before speaking once.”• saving face• ego• “devil’s advocate”• consequences• opinion of others

Oxford Study (2005)

• 208 mortuary students

• Mental well-being is tied to 2 essential factors:

1) perceiving life with purpose

2) being engaged in meaningful work

Findings

• “meaningful” not necessarily tied exclusively to an external reward

• spiritual activities and disciplines have a significantly positive effect on both factors

• students with more than 3 years experience demonstrate higher perceptions of both factors

Characteristics of Stress and Burnout(Wolfelt)

1) exhaustion and loss of energy2) irritability and impatience3) cynicism and detachment4) physical complaints and depression5) disorientation and confusion6) omnipotene and feeling indispensible7) minimization and denial of feelings

“Striking the Balance”(Wolfelt 2000) (Figure 22-2 Canine page 302

• balance is important to a joyful life• use of time is key to a balanced life• time cannot be borrowed or stretched• learn to slow down and achieve more life

balance:– changed perception– “work smarter not harder”– set priorities effectively

Managing Personal Time

• 1) do not over-commit and under-perform

• 2) make use of your prime time• 3) learn to delegate effectively• 4) build in time for play• 5) disconnect from technology

occasionally

Managing Family Time

• 1) schedule family time• 2) be available and listen• 3) give time, not just material things• 4) keep the romance alive• 5) model respect for each other

Managing Spiritual Time

• 1) establish daily quiet time• 2) seek spiritual growth• 3) discover your “life mission”• 4) stay in touch with nature

• Balance is possible…..not easy……but possible and well worth it!!!!!