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TITLE I'm Positive: Growing Up with Self-Esteem.INSTITUTION Kansas State Univ., Manhattan. Cooperative Extension
Service.PUB DATE Sep 88NOTE 47p.; Centerfold poster reproduced as two pages.PUB TYPE Guides Non-Classroom Use (055)
EDRS PRICE MF01/PCO2 Plus Postage.DESCRIPTORS *Adolescent Development; *Adolescents; *Child
Development; *Children; Parent Child Relationship;*Self Esteem
ABSTRACT
This document presents "I'm Positive: Growing Up WithSelf-Esteem," an informal, personal study course designed tostrengthen the reader's ability to nurture self-esteem in childrenfrom birth through adolescence. Special emphasis is given to fourparenting skills: acceptance, encouragemcnt, empowerment, and love.Weekly activities are provided that will help readers apply what theylearn to their relationships with children. Six sections are includedin this workbook and readers are encouraged to spend approximatelyone week considering each of the six sections. The Week 1 sectionprovides an introduction to self-esteem. The Week 2 section contendsthat parents' beliefs about themselves will influence theireffectiveness in nurturing self-esteem in their children. Week 3focuses on the first core belief underlying self-esteem that othersappreciate one's uniqueness and want to be with him/her. Week 4concentrates on the second core belief underlying self-esteem theconviction that the future holds promise. Week 5 focuses on the thirdbelief the conviction that one has influence in relationships andin one's life. Week 6 emphasizes the fourth belief underlyingself-esteem the conviction that one can give and receive affection,can nurture z.nd be nurtured by others. Also included are a list of100 ways for a parent to say "Very good!" to their child and a listof recommended readings. (NB)
***********************************************************************
Reproductions supplied by EDRS are the best that can be madefrom the original document.
***********************************************************************
ER
MIS
SIO
N T
O R
EP
RO
DU
CE
TH
IST
ER
IAL
HA
S B
EE
N G
RA
NT
ED
BY
TriE
ED
UC
AT
ION
AL
RE
SO
UR
CE
S'O
RM
AT
ION
CE
NT
ER
iER
IC1
U 5
DE
PA
RT
ME
NT
OF
ED
UC
AT
ION
Otto
e !,
I du
, alq
.na
Res
.9a,
r, a
nd fr
IVIT
hern
ert
ED
UC
AT
ION
AL
RE
SO
UR
CE
S IN
FO
RM
AT
ION
CE
NT
ER
,ER
iCi
rt,,s
dfs
umeh
f has
bee
r ...
prod
uced
as
P.C
. hp
pers
on e
,r o
tga.
tabo
r,..
q.na
bng
Mno
t fla
nges
.-af
Dee
n n.
,tde
orn9
.0,,p
rppl
Odu
i tin
e 1,
:a.ty
Pso
lts'o
r,*
Opn
lonS
sta
led
chic
men
? do
not
nec
essa
wy
,pgw
esen
t off,
, of
OE
P1
p0s,
,,n0
A I,
0,1
ZA
Nt.,
1111
111k
-
NT
RO
DU
CT
ION
Pare
nts
and
othe
rs w
ho w
ork
with
you
ng p
eopl
e ar
e co
ncer
ned
abou
t sel
f-es
teem
. "H
elpi
ng c
hil-
dren
with
sel
f-es
teem
" w
as r
ated
the
seco
nd m
ost i
mpo
rtan
t top
ic in
hum
an d
evel
opm
ent i
n a
rece
nt s
urve
y co
nduc
ted
by K
ansa
s E
xten
sion
Hom
e E
cono
mic
s, c
lose
ly f
ollo
win
g "S
uppo
rtin
gfr
iend
s th
roug
h tr
oubl
ed ti
mes
."
We
know
that
sel
f-es
teem
has
a s
igni
fica
nt e
ffec
t on
youn
g pe
ople
's b
ehav
ior
and
atti-
tude
s. W
e al
so k
now
that
chi
ldre
n an
d ad
oles
cent
s to
day
face
num
erou
s ch
alle
nges
as
they
gro
w u
p:
From
7.5
to 9
.5 m
illio
n ch
ildre
n in
the
U.S
. (12
to 1
5 pe
rcen
t of
thos
e un
der
18)
suff
er f
rom
am
enta
l hea
lth p
robl
em s
ever
e en
ough
to r
equi
re tr
eatm
ent.
The
mos
t com
mon
chi
ldho
odps
ychi
atri
c di
sord
ers
incl
ude
depr
essi
on (
betw
een
5 an
d 10
per
cent
of
yout
h) a
nd c
ondu
ctdi
sord
ers
(abo
ut 4
to 1
0 pe
rcen
t of
yout
h). R
esea
rche
rs h
ave
also
fou
nd th
at d
elin
quen
t and
psyc
hiat
rica
lly d
istu
rbed
ado
lesc
ents
hav
e lo
w s
elf-
este
em)
Dur
ing
1986
ther
e w
ere
1 m
illio
n co
nfir
med
cas
e -3
of
child
abu
sein
the
Uni
ted
Stat
es.'
In 1
983,
abo
ut a
mill
ion
teen
age
preg
nanc
ies
occu
rred
in th
eU
nite
d St
ates
res
ultin
g in
abo
ut 5
00,0
00 b
abie
s be
ing
born
tote
en m
othe
rs. H
avin
g a
baby
bef
ore
age
18 r
educ
es th
e m
othe
r'sch
ance
s of
gra
duat
ing
from
hig
h sc
hool
by
50 p
erce
nt.'
The
sui
cide
rat
e fo
r th
e 15
- to
24-
year
-old
age
gro
up m
ore
than
doub
led
betw
een
1960
and
198
0. E
ach
day
abou
t 13
youn
gpe
ople
kill
them
selv
es.
In 1
985,
37
perc
ent o
f hi
gh s
choo
l sen
iors
rep
orte
d th
at th
ey h
addr
unk
heav
ily d
urin
g th
e pr
eced
ing
2 w
eeks
. Fiv
e pe
rcen
t dri
nkal
coho
l eve
ry d
ay.
Abo
ut 3
90,0
00 y
outh
s ag
es 1
2-17
iver
e co
cain
e us
ers
in 1
985.
4
Chi
ldre
n w
ho h
ave
high
sel
f-es
teem
who
hav
e se
lf-r
e-sp
ect,
who
bel
ieve
in th
emse
lves
and
thei
r fu
ture
, who
feel
com
pete
nt a
ndlo
ved-
-are
mor
epr
epar
ed to
nav
i-ga
te th
e tr
oubl
edw
ater
s of
mod
ern
soci
ety.
s M
enta
l I k
alt h
. l'ro
mis
ing
Res
pons
e, to
ti..g
kite
d P
robl
ems,
- a
fact
shee
t ot t
he S
elec
t Com
mitt
ee o
n C
hild
ren,
`r
outh
and
Fam
ilies
, Sep
tem
ber
1087
. 2.U
SD
A E
xten
sion
Tel
econ
tere
nce,
Feb
ruan
I488
.Ado
lesc
ent P
regn
ancy
Fad
She
et-
avai
labl
e fr
om K
ansa
s A
ctio
n to
r C
hild
ren,
Inc.
4 U
pdat
e fr
om th
e A
lcoh
ol, D
rug
Abu
se, a
nd M
enta
l I le
alth
Adm
inis
trat
ion,
Fal
l, 14
87.
1
I'm P
ositi
ve: G
row
ing
Up
With
Sel
f-E
stee
m is
an
info
rmal
, per
sona
l stu
dy c
ours
e th
at w
illst
reng
then
you
r ab
ility
to n
urtu
re s
elf-
este
em in
child
ren
from
bir
th th
roug
h ad
oles
cenc
e. T
here
is n
othi
ng to
mai
l, no
cla
ss to
reg
iste
r fo
r, n
ote
sts.
You
lear
n at
hom
e, a
t you
r ow
n pa
ce.
Dur
ing
this
per
iod
of s
tudy
you
will
be
aske
d to
cons
ider
the
impa
ct s
elf-
este
em h
as o
n th
e liv
esof
bot
h pa
rent
s an
d ch
ildre
n. Y
ou w
ill h
ave
the
oppo
rtun
ity to
ref
lect
on
your
ow
n ch
i:dho
odan
d ho
w y
our
earl
ier
expe
rien
ces
may
aff
ect
how
you
rel
ate
to y
oung
peo
ple.
Spe
cial
em
pha-
sis
is g
iven
to f
our
pare
ntin
g sk
ills:
acc
epta
nce,
enco
urag
emen
t, em
pow
erm
ent,
and
love
.W
eekl
y ac
tiviti
es a
re p
rovi
ded
that
will
hel
p yo
uap
ply
wha
t you
lear
n to
you
r re
latio
nshi
ps w
ithch
ildre
n.
L._
Set a
side
a r
easo
nabl
e pe
riod
of
time
for
each
sec
tion.
A w
eek
is s
ugge
sted
, tho
ugh
you
may
pre
fer
alo
nger
or
slig
htly
sho
rter
per
iod
of s
tudy
. In
any
case
,do
not
rus
h yo
urse
lf. T
ake
the
time
you
need
tore
flec
t on
the
info
rmat
ion
and
the
activ
ities
. Mak
e a
cont
ract
with
you
rsel
f to
fin
ish,
but
fee
l fre
e to
pic
k up
whe
re y
ou le
ft o
ff if
you
fin
d yo
urse
lf s
ettin
g th
e m
ater
ial
asid
e lo
nger
than
you
inte
nded
.
Shar
e th
is c
ours
e w
ith a
fri
end
or, b
ette
r ye
t, fi
nd a
par
tner
who
is w
illin
g to
dis
cuss
the
mat
eria
l and
ac-
tiviti
es w
ith y
ou o
n a
wee
kly
basi
s. Y
ou m
ight
als
oke
ep a
jour
nal o
f yo
ur th
ough
ts a
nd r
eact
ions
as
a w
ayof
stim
ulat
ing
your
thin
king
, esp
ecia
lly if
you
are
taki
ng th
e co
urse
alo
ne.
Con
tact
you
r co
unty
ext
ensi
on o
ffic
e if
you
wou
ldlik
e to
pro
vide
othe
rs w
ith c
opie
s of
this
cou
rse.
Oth
er m
ater
ials
on
topi
cs r
elat
edto
I'm
Pos
itive
: Gro
win
g U
p W
ith S
elf-
Est
eem
are
also
ava
ilabl
e.
20 ;
Cha
rles
A. S
mith
Ext
elis
ion
Spec
ialis
tH
uman
Dev
elop
men
t
Wee
kIn
trod
uctio
n to
sel
f-es
teem
Self
-est
eem
is th
e va
lue
we
plac
e on
wha
t we
belie
ve to
be
true
abo
ut o
urse
lves
. Sel
f-es
teem
invo
lves
a s
eque
nce
of th
inki
ng a
nd f
eelin
g:
1. W
e ha
ve b
elie
fs a
bout
our
selv
es a
nd o
ur r
elat
ions
hips
;2.
We
plac
e a
valu
e on
thes
e be
liefs
, and
then
3. W
e ex
peri
ence
a p
ositi
ve o
r ne
gativ
e fe
elin
g ab
out w
hat w
e th
ink
is tr
ue o
f ou
rsel
ves.
For
exam
ple,
a c
hild
bel
ieve
s th
at h
is p
aren
tsdo
not
love
him
bec
ause
they
are
alw
ays
too
busy
to s
pend
tim
e w
ith h
im. "
I m
ust b
eaw
ful,"
he
conc
lude
s. "
I'm ju
st a
nob
ody;
how
coul
d an
yone
eve
r lo
ve s
omeb
ody
like
me?
"A
lthou
gh s
ome
of th
is a
nger
may
be
dire
cted
tow
ard
his
pare
nts,
mos
t of
his
host
ility
will
be r
eser
ved
for
him
self
. Sel
f-ha
te li
es a
t the
core
of
low
sel
f-w
orth
. Chi
ldre
n w
ith lo
wse
lf-e
stee
m b
elie
ve th
at th
ere
is s
omet
hing
in-
trin
sica
lly w
rong
with
them
. The
y ar
e fa
ulty
mer
chan
dise
.
I D
UR
ING
TH
IS W
EE
K...
on
a se
para
te s
heet
, mak
e a
list s
imila
r to
the
follo
win
g:
Five
bel
iefs
abo
ut m
ysel
f:H
ow I
fee
l abo
ut th
ese
belie
fs:
Lkt
at l
east
fiv
e th
ings
you
bel
ieve
to h
e tr
ue f
or1.
your
self
. Thi
nk a
bout
how
you
fee
l abo
ut th
ese
char
acte
rist
ics.
You
may
like
som
e, d
islik
e2.
othe
rsm
d fe
el n
eutr
al to
war
d th
e re
st. Y
ou3.
may
be
awar
e of
som
e ev
alua
tions
and
less
con
-sc
ious
of
othe
rs. I
f yo
u co
uld
add
up a
ll of
you
r4.
reac
tions
to e
very
thin
g yo
u be
lieve
abo
ut y
our-
selt,
you
wou
ld b
e de
term
inin
g yo
ur s
elf-
este
em.
5.F
.3
Hig
h se
lf-e
stee
m is
bas
ed o
n fo
ur c
ore
belie
fs:
Oth
ers
care
abo
ut m
e an
dac
cept
me
for
who
I a
m.
The
ir a
ccep
tanc
e ha
s nu
r-tu
red
my
self
-res
pect
. Iam
a p
erso
n.
Oth
ers
have
enc
oura
ged
me
to lo
okfo
rwar
d to
a p
ositi
ve f
utur
e. T
heir
belie
f in
me
has
nurt
ured
my
hope
.I
am g
radu
ally
for
min
g a
visi
onfo
r m
y lif
e; I
am
a d
ream
er.
PER
SON
4s1
AC
CE
PTA
NC
E
LO
VE
-je
ll*
FRIE
ND
Oth
ers
have
love
d an
dch
eris
hed
me.
The
ir a
ffec
-tio
n ha
s de
epen
ed m
yco
mpa
ssio
n fo
r ot
hers
. Iam
a f
rien
d.
DR
EA
ME
RE
NC
OU
RA
GE
ME
NT
EM
POW
ER
ME
NT
al C
HA
MPI
ON
Oth
ers
have
hel
ped
me
feel
mor
eco
mpe
tent
. I a
m g
radu
ally
lear
ning
self
-con
trol
and
rec
ogni
zing
my
inne
rst
reng
th. T
heir
gui
danc
e ha
s nu
rtur
edm
y co
urag
e. I
am
a c
ham
pion
.
Pers
on, D
ream
er, C
ham
pion
, Fri
endf
our
qual
ities
that
we
can
enco
urag
eth
roug
h ou
r ac
cept
ance
, enc
oura
gem
ent,
empo
wer
men
t, an
d lo
ve.
4
Eac
h of
us
attim
es f
eels
reje
cted
, dis
-co
urag
ed,
pow
erle
ss,
and
unlo
ved.
In e
very
per
son'
s m
ind
ther
e is
a c
onfl
ict b
etw
een
posi
tive
belie
fs a
nd th
eir
oppo
site
s. B
ut f
or th
epe
rson
with
hig
h se
lf-e
stee
m, t
hese
sel
f-do
ubts
and
fear
s ar
e lik
e sh
adow
s th
at p
ass
tem
pora
rily
thro
ugh
the
land
scap
es o
f th
e m
ind.
The
y m
aydi
m o
ne's
sen
se o
f w
orth
with
out c
astin
g it
inpe
rman
ent d
arkn
ess.
In
gene
ral,
high
sel
f-es
teem
mea
ns th
at o
ne f
eels
mor
e se
lf-
resp
ect t
han
self
-hat
e, m
ore
hope
than
desp
air,
mor
e co
urag
e th
an f
ear,
mor
e co
mpa
ssio
n th
an in
diff
eren
ce.
.1
Self
-est
eem
is im
port
ant f
or tw
o re
ason
s:FI
RST
, we
act c
onsi
sten
tly w
ith o
ur b
elie
fs a
nd f
eel-
ings
abo
ut o
urse
lves
. If
a ch
ild b
elie
ves
som
ethi
ngis
true
, tha
t bel
ief
affe
cts
his
or h
er a
ctio
ns ju
st a
sth
ough
it w
ere
actu
ally
true
.
SEC
ON
D, o
ur p
erce
ptio
ns o
f th
e w
orld
aro
und
usar
e fi
ltere
d th
roug
h ou
rse
lf-e
stee
m. C
hild
ren'
sbe
liefs
abo
ut th
emse
lves
act
as
a sc
reen
that
may
dist
ort t
heir
vie
w o
f w
hat r
eally
hap
pens
to th
em.
Chi
ldre
n w
ho b
elie
ve th
ey a
re u
nattr
activ
e, s
tupi
d, o
r un
-pl
easa
nt ;n
ay w
ithdr
aw o
r dr
aw a
ttent
ion
to th
emse
lves
inso
cial
ly u
nacc
epta
ble
way
s. T
hey
may
be
attr
acte
d to
mod
els
who
glo
rify
the
ugly
, the
unk
empt
, the
wei
rd, f
or th
eill
usio
n of
indi
vidu
ality
.
Chi
ldre
n w
ho e
xper
ienc
e de
spai
r ab
out t
heir
fut
ure
may
be-
com
e de
pres
sed
and
fail
to a
pply
them
selv
es a
t sch
ool.
Chi
ldre
n w
ho b
elie
ve th
ey a
re p
ower
less
or
inco
mpe
tent
nzau
act
in a
des
truc
tive
man
ner
tow
ard
them
selv
es o
rot
hers
.
Chi
ldre
n w
ho f
eel u
nlov
able
may
clin
g an
d be
com
e de
pend
-en
t on
pare
nts
or a
void
clo
se ti
es a
ltoge
ther
.
III
DU
RIN
G T
HIS
WE
EK
... li
stth
ree
thin
gs o
ne o
f A
MU
r c
hild
ren
does
that
you
thin
k is
unp
leas
ant
or h
arm
ful.
Try
to tr
ace
the
actio
nha
ck to
the
belie
fs th
at in
flue
nce
his
or h
er a
ctio
ns. W
hat m
ight
be
goin
g th
roug
h yo
ur c
hild
's m
ind
atth
e tim
e? H
ow d
oes
your
chi
ldfe
el a
bout
him
- or
her
self
? Fi
nally
,ho
w h
as th
is s
elf-
imag
e af
fect
edot
lwr
aspe
cts
of h
is o
r he
r lif
e?
The
chi
ld w
ith lo
w s
elf-
wor
thfo
cuse
s on
fai
lure
inst
ead
of s
uc-
cess
, pro
blem
s in
stea
d of
cha
l-le
nges
, dif
ficu
lties
inst
ead
of p
ossi
-bi
litie
s. A
chi
ld w
ith lo
w s
elf-
este
em e
xper
ienc
es th
e w
orld
as
ada
rk a
nd g
loom
y pl
ace,
fill
ed w
ithda
nger
and
thre
at. A
chi
ld w
ithhi
gh s
elf-
este
em m
ay s
ee th
e iv
orld
,w
ith a
ll its
ass
ets
and
liabi
litie
s,m
ore
real
istic
ally
.
Chi
ldre
n's
belie
fs a
nd f
eelin
gs a
bout
them
selv
es a
re d
iffi
cult
to c
hang
e be
caus
e ch
ildre
n ar
e lik
ely
to in
terp
ret o
urw
ords
to f
it th
eir
own
self
-im
age.
Posi
tive
or h
igh
self
-est
eem
pro
-vi
des
the
basi
sfo
r m
eetin
g th
ech
alle
nges
of
life
self
-con
fide
ntly
.
135
Chi
ldre
n fo
rm th
eir
self
-im
ages
thro
ugh
invo
lvem
ent
with
oth
ers,
esp
ecia
lly th
eir
pare
nts.
Chi
ldre
n le
arn
from
wat
chin
g us
, fro
m e
xper
ienc
ing
the
wor
ld a
roun
d th
em,
and
from
list
enin
g to
us.
Bet
wee
n 1
5 an
d 18
mon
ths,
chi
ldre
n be
gin
to b
e aw
are
ofw
hat t
hey
look
like
. For
the
firs
t tim
e, th
ey c
an r
ecog
-ni
ze th
emse
lves
in p
ictu
res.
Pres
choo
l chi
ldre
n co
ncei
ve o
f th
e se
lf s
tric
tly in
phys
ical
term
sthe
y de
fine
them
selv
es b
y w
hat t
hey
look
like
, the
ir p
hysi
cal p
osse
ssio
ns, a
nd e
spec
ially
inte
rms
of w
hat t
hey
can
do.
At a
bout
8 y
ears
of
age
child
ren
can
dist
ingu
ish
5etw
een
min
d an
d bo
dy.
that
one
's th
ough
ts a
nd f
eelin
gs m
ake
one
diff
eren
t fro
m o
ther
s.
Ado
lesc
ents
are
mor
e lik
ely
to d
escr
ibe
them
selv
es in
term
s of
thei
r va
lues
and
bel
iefs
and
thei
rre
latio
nshi
ps. T
hey
are
muc
h m
ore
capa
ble
of s
elf-
refl
ectio
n an
d in
tros
pect
ion.
The
y ca
n un
ders
tand
The
vea
rs s
urro
undi
ng p
uber
ty c
an b
e di
ffic
ult b
ecau
se o
f dr
amat
icch
ange
s in
a y
oung
per
son'
s lif
e. A
dole
scen
ts a
re b
egin
ning
to th
ink
mor
em
atur
ely
and
are
likel
y to
eng
age
in a
n in
tens
e pr
obin
g, s
crut
iny,
and
eval
uatio
n of
them
selv
es. T
hese
cha
nges
can
dis
rupt
per
sona
l ide
ntity
and
forc
e ad
oles
cent
s to
re-
exam
ine
thei
r be
liefs
abo
ut th
emse
lves
and
oth
ers.
The
mos
t tur
bule
ntpe
riod
for
sel
f-es
teem
is e
arly
ado
lesc
ence
.
6
If w
e ho
pe to
nur
ture
sel
f-es
teem
inyo
ung
peop
le o
f an
y ag
e, w
e ha
ve to
stre
ngth
en th
eir
self
-res
pect
, hop
e in
the
futu
re, c
oura
ge, a
nd c
ompa
ssio
n.
I I
The
re a
re n
o qu
ick
fixe
s. C
hang
ing
child
ren'
s op
inio
nsof
them
selv
es is
a d
iffi
cult
task
. We
cann
ot m
ake
our
child
ren
belie
ve in
them
selv
es. W
e ca
nnot
mak
e th
emle
arn
from
our
exp
erie
nce.
Ulti
mat
ely,
they
mus
t mak
eth
eir
own
deci
sion
s ab
out w
hat i
s tr
ue a
nd f
alse
in th
eir
lives
and
lear
n fr
om th
eir
own
succ
esse
s an
d fa
ilure
s.
11
Prep
arin
g on
esel
fPa
rent
s' b
elie
fs a
bout
them
selv
es w
illin
flue
nce
thei
r ef
fect
iven
ess
innu
rtur
ing
self
-est
eem
in th
eir
child
ren.
Pare
nts
with
low
sel
f-w
orth
may
find
thei
r ef
fort
s in
effe
ctiv
e or
,ev
enha
rmfu
l.
Pare
nts
who
fee
l ina
dequ
ate
may
with
draw
from
the
resp
onsi
bilit
ies
of c
hild
rear
ing.
Pare
nts
who
are
pre
occu
pied
with
thei
r ow
nfa
iled
drea
ms
may
set
unr
easo
nabl
e go
als
for
thei
r ch
ildre
ngoa
ls th
at a
re b
ased
on
thei
row
n am
bitio
ns a
nd n
ot th
ose
of th
eirc
hild
ren.
Pare
nts
zvho
fee
l pow
erle
ss m
ay u
se e
xces
sive
lyse
vere
dis
cipl
ine
or b
ecom
eem
otio
nally
abu
-si
ve.
Pare
nts
who
bel
ieve
they
are
unl
oved
and
un-
lova
ble
may
em
otio
nally
sm
othe
r th
eir
child
ren.
II D
UR
ING
TH
IS W
EE
K...
take
som
e tim
e to
ref
lect
on
your
ow
nse
lf-e
stee
m d
urin
g ch
ildho
od. C
anyo
u re
call
a tim
e w
hen
som
eone
real
ly c
runc
hed
your
sel
f-w
orth
?M
aybe
a te
ache
r or
cla
ssm
ate
said
som
ethi
ng c
ruel
to y
ou, o
r a
pare
ntdi
d so
met
hing
to h
urt y
our
feel
-in
gs. H
ow d
id y
ou r
eact
to th
isev
ent?
How
abo
ut a
tim
e w
hen
som
eone
con
trib
uted
to y
our
self
-es
teem
? H
ow d
id th
ese
expe
rien
ces
affe
ct y
our
life
and
your
rel
atio
n-sh
ips
with
you
r ch
ildre
n to
day?
An
impo
rtan
t fir
st s
tep
in n
urtu
ring
self
-est
eem
in o
ur c
hild
ren
is to
look
inw
ard
toun
ders
tand
our
selv
es b
ette
r. W
e st
reng
then
our
self
-est
eem
by
firs
t bei
ng a
war
e of
our
Ow
n se
lf-b
elie
fs, a
ndth
en c
onfr
ontin
g th
ose
belie
fs th
at a
re ir
ratio
nal
and
dest
ruct
ive:
I've
got t
o be
per
fect
if I
am
to b
e a
good
par
ent.
I've
got t
o be
the
boss
. I m
ust b
e in
cont
rol a
nd in
cha
rge
all t
he ti
me.
My
child
ren
are
the
prod
ucts
of
my
will
.
My
child
ren
mus
t lik
e m
e al
l the
tim
e.If
they
don
't I
will
fee
l dep
ress
ed a
nddi
scou
rage
d.
vs.
My
pers
onal
val
ue d
oes
not d
epen
d on
how
pei
fect
Iam
as
a pa
rent
. We
all m
ake
mis
take
s.
vs.
My
child
ren
are
indi
vidu
als.
The
y m
ake
choi
ces
inde
-pe
nden
t of
my
will
. I c
an s
low
ly g
rant
mor
e an
d m
ore
auto
nom
y to
my
child
ren
as th
ey g
row
old
er.
vs.
I en
joy
bein
g lo
ved
by m
y ch
ildre
n, b
ut I
can
sur
vive
with
out t
heir
com
plet
e ap
prov
al. I
mus
t do
wha
t Ith
ink
is r
ight
eve
n th
ough
they
mig
ht b
ecom
e up
set.
7
DU
RIN
G T
HIS
WE
EK
... ta
ke a
per
-so
nal i
nven
t9ry
of
your
self
. Loo
k ba
ck a
tth
e fi
rst w
eek'
s lis
t of
thre
e th
ings
you
rch
ild d
oe.s
that
ups
ets
you.
Add
mor
e if
you
like.
Go
over
eac
h ite
m a
nd tr
y to
iden
tify
your
und
erly
ing
belie
fs th
at in
-fl
uenc
ed y
our
resp
onse
. How
acc
urat
ear
e th
ese
belie
fs?
Are
they
rea
sona
ble?
Are
they
sup
port
ed b
y ev
iden
ce?
Nev
er g
ive
up o
n yo
urse
lfor
you
r ch
ildre
n. P
erse
-ve
ranc
e an
d pa
tienc
e ar
ene
cess
anj t
o ac
com
plis
hlo
ng-t
erm
cha
nge.
8
Cha
ngin
g un
reas
onab
le o
r de
stru
ctiv
e be
liefs
is e
xtre
mel
y di
ffic
ult.
The
pla
ce to
sta
rt is
to a
ccep
t our
tend
er s
pots
and
irra
tiona
l bel
iefs
whi
le b
uild
ing
and
stre
ngth
enin
g th
e w
ise
and
com
pass
iona
teas
-pe
cts
of o
urse
lves
. "Y
es, I
oft
en te
ll m
ysel
f I
have
to b
e pe
rfec
t. B
utaf
ter
all,
I'm o
nly
hum
an. I
mak
e m
ista
kes.
Eve
n w
ith a
llm
y im
-pe
rfec
tions
I a
m s
till d
oing
the
best
I c
an."
Tak
e tim
e fo
r yo
urse
lf a
nd h
elp
your
spo
use
and
frie
nds
also
fin
d th
e tim
e to
nurt
ure
them
selv
es.
Spen
d tim
e w
ith f
rien
ds w
ho m
ake
you
laug
h, w
ho a
re w
illin
g to
list
en a
nden
-co
urag
e th
e be
st in
you
.
DU
RIN
G T
HIS
WE
EK
... d
o so
met
hing
spe
cial
for
you
rsel
f. S
pend
a r
estf
ulev
enin
g br
owsi
ng in
a li
brar
y, s
hopp
ing,
or
wat
chin
g a
mov
ieso
met
hing
you
real
ly e
njoy
. Rew
ard
your
self
for
you
r ha
rd w
ork
as a
par
ent.
If y
ou h
ave
youn
g ch
ildre
n, a
noth
er p
aren
t mig
ht b
e w
illin
g to
set
up
a ch
ild c
are
exch
ange
to g
ive
you
both
som
e fr
ee ti
me.
Dev
elop
a p
lan
for
find
ing
time
to p
ursu
eyo
ur h
obbi
es. H
ow d
oes
this
aff
ect y
our
rela
tions
hips
with
you
r ch
ildre
n?
Do
not e
xpec
t gra
titud
e fr
omyo
ur c
hild
ren
until
they
rea
chm
atur
ityat
leas
t unt
il th
ey a
re45
yea
rs o
ld. C
hild
ren
have
ana
rrow
per
spec
tive
on th
eir
rela
-tio
nshi
ps w
ith p
aren
ts. N
otun
til th
ey a
re h
alfw
ay th
roug
hth
eir
jour
ney
can
trav
eler
s be
gin
to a
ppre
ciat
e th
e ef
fort
s of
thei
rgu
ide.
Onl
y tim
e an
d ex
peri
-en
ce c
an h
elp
your
chi
ldre
n un
-de
rsta
nd y
our
effo
rt, y
our
sacr
i-fi
ce, a
nd th
e de
pth
of y
our
love
Acc
epta
nce:
I a
m a
per
son
The
fir
st c
ore
belie
f un
derl
ying
sel
f-es
teem
is th
e co
nvic
tion
that
oth
ers
ap-
prec
iate
you
r un
ique
ness
and
wan
t to
be w
ith y
ou. I
f w
e w
ant t
o st
reng
then
a ch
ild's
sel
f-re
spec
t, ou
rw
ords
and
act
ions
sho
uld
conv
ey th
is m
essa
ge:
I w
ant t
o be
you
r m
othe
r (f
athe
r, te
ache
r, e
tc.)
. I a
m in
tere
sted
inyo
u an
d w
hat h
appe
ns to
you
. I e
njoy
bein
g w
ith y
ou. Y
ou a
re a
uniq
ue p
erso
n w
ith y
our
own
stre
ngth
s an
d w
eakn
esse
s. Y
ou d
ono
t hav
e to
be
diff
eren
t for
me
to a
ccep
t you
. You
and
I h
ave
are
latio
nshi
p th
at is
impo
rtan
t to
me.
Chi
ldre
n w
ho m
atte
r to
thei
r pa
rent
sha
ve h
ighe
r se
lf-e
stee
m th
an th
ose
who
are
over
look
ed. C
hild
ren
wou
ld r
athe
rbe
pun
ishe
d th
an ig
nore
d.
Chi
ldre
n w
ho f
eel t
hey
do n
otm
atte
r to
thei
r pa
rent
s ar
e m
ore
likel
y to
be
depr
esse
d, a
nxio
usan
d un
happ
y.
Chi
ldre
n ca
n ac
cept
them
selv
es if
our
exp
ec-
tatio
ns a
re c
ompa
tible
with
thei
r te
mpe
ram
ent,
age,
and
thei
r ph
ysic
alan
d in
telle
ctua
l cap
a-bi
litie
s.
Acc
ordi
ng to
Ste
lla C
hess
and
Ale
xand
er T
hom
as, e
ach
child
'ste
mpe
ram
ent c
an v
ary
with
inth
e fo
llow
ing
rang
es:
AC
TIV
ITY
LE
VE
L: S
ome
child
ren
have
a h
igh
leve
l of
mot
or a
ctiv
ity a
nd s
eem
to b
e qu
ite a
ctiv
e. O
ther
s m
ayha
ve a
typi
cally
low
act
ivity
leve
l.H
igh
activ
eL
ow a
ctiv
e
RE
GU
LA
RIT
Y: S
ome
child
ren
are
very
pre
dict
able
in th
etim
ing
of th
eir
biol
ogic
al f
unct
ions
, suc
h as
hun
ger,
sle
ep-
wak
e cy
cle,
and
boz
vel e
limin
atio
n. O
ther
s ar
e m
ore
unpr
e-di
ctab
le in
thes
e fu
nctio
ns.
Ver
y re
gula
rU
npre
dict
able
APP
RO
AC
H/W
ITH
DR
AW
AL
: Som
e ch
ildre
n ap
proa
chne
w s
ituat
ions
with
a lo
t of
self
-con
fide
nce.
Oth
ers
are
mor
e lik
ely
to w
ithdr
aw f
rom
or
avoi
d th
e un
fam
iliar
.A
ppro
ache
sA
void
sne
w s
ituat
ions
new
situ
atio
ns
AD
APT
AB
ILIT
Y: S
ome
child
ren
can
adap
t fai
rly
quic
kly
tone
w s
ituat
ions
. Oth
ers
may
not
adj
ust t
o ch
ange
so
easi
ly.
Adj
usts
eas
ilyI
Doe
sn't
adju
st
SEN
SIT
IVIT
Y: S
ome
child
ren
need
onl
y a
low
leve
l of
stim
ulat
ion
to c
ause
a r
espo
nse.
Oth
ers
are
mor
e "t
hick
skin
ned"
and
are
not
as
likel
y to
not
ice
or b
e bo
ther
ed b
yso
met
hing
.
Ver
y se
nsiti
veD
oesn
't no
tice
1044
MO
OD
: Som
e ch
ildre
n ar
e ty
pica
lly p
leas
ant,
joyf
ul, a
ndfr
iend
ly w
hile
oth
ers
may
l7e
a m
ore
nega
tive
moo
d.H
appy
Glo
omy
INT
EN
SIT
Y O
F R
EA
CT
ION
S: S
ome
child
ren
reac
t in-
tens
ely,
whe
ther
pos
itive
ly o
r ne
gativ
ely,
to w
hat h
appe
nsto
them
. Oth
ers
typi
cally
rea
ct m
ore
mild
lyth
ey n
ever
seem
rea
lly u
pset
or
real
ly h
appy
.In
tens
eI
IM
ild
DIS
TR
AC
TIB
ILIT
Y: S
ome
child
ren
are
easi
ly d
istr
acte
dw
hile
oth
ers
fail
to n
otic
e di
stra
ctio
ns.
Dis
trac
tible
Focu
sed
PER
SIST
EN
CE
AN
D A
TT
EN
TIO
N S
PAN
: Som
e ch
ildre
nw
ill s
tay
with
an
activ
ity o
ver
a lo
ng p
erio
d. O
ther
s m
aylo
se in
tere
st in
an
activ
ity m
ore
quic
kly.
Pers
iste
ntE
asily
dis
trac
ted
Kee
p in
min
d th
at y
our
child
's te
mpe
ram
ent
coul
d be
rat
ed a
nyw
here
alo
ng th
ese
con-
tinuu
msh
igh,
mid
dle,
or
low
--no
t jus
t at
the
extr
emes
. Tem
pera
men
t is
pres
ent a
tbi
rth
and
rem
ains
fai
rly
cons
iste
nt a
cros
s a
pers
on's
life
spa
n.
Acc
eptin
g a
child
mea
ns u
nder
stan
ding
that
he
or s
he is
a u
niqu
e pe
rson
.O
ne o
f th
e m
ost d
iffi
cult
task
s fo
r an
y pa
rent
is to
com
e to
term
s w
ithth
ose
char
acte
rist
icsl
ike
mat
urity
leve
l, in
telli
genc
e, a
ppea
ranc
e an
dte
mpe
ram
entth
at c
anno
t be
chan
ged.
Res
pect
mea
ns m
akin
g ad
just
-m
ents
in th
e ex
pect
atio
ns w
e ha
ve f
or o
ur c
hild
ren
to m
atch
real
ity.
Whe
n w
e tr
y to
cha
nge
inhe
rent
cha
ract
eris
tics
in o
ur c
hild
ren
we
may
sen
d th
e m
es-
sage
that
ther
e is
som
ethi
ng w
rong
with
them
. But
mat
urity
leve
l, in
telli
genc
e, a
p-pe
aran
ce, o
r te
mpe
ram
ent d
oes
not m
ake
ach
ild b
ad o
r go
od, w
orth
less
or
valu
able
.W
hate
ver
this
"pa
ckag
e" m
ay b
e, a
chi
ld is
a w
onde
r, s
omeo
ne p
reci
ous
to b
e lo
ved
and
nurt
ured
. Eve
ry c
hild
has
gre
at p
oten
tial.
Acc
epta
nce
of a
chi
ld d
oes
not m
ean
appr
oval
of
ever
y ac
tion.
Par
t of
our
resp
onsi
bilit
y is
to s
etre
ason
able
lim
its a
nd c
onfr
ont u
nrea
sona
ble
beha
vior
.
Try
to s
ee th
e w
orld
thro
ugh
your
chi
ldre
n's
eyes
.
Hel
p yo
ur c
hild
ren
unde
rsta
ndth
at th
ey a
re s
peci
al.
Tal
k w
ith y
our
child
ren
abou
tth
e di
ffer
ence
s an
d si
mila
ritie
sth
at c
an e
xist
bet
wee
n pe
ople
.
24
DU
RIN
G T
HIS
WE
EK
...go
ove
r th
is li
st o
f te
mpe
ra-
men
tal q
ualit
ies
and
esti-
mat
e w
here
you
r ch
ildre
nm
ight
fit.
Exa
min
e th
e lis
ton
ce m
ore
and
rate
you
rsel
f.Y
ou m
ight
als
o co
mpa
reyo
ur e
stim
ates
with
you
rsp
ouse
's. C
ould
som
e of
the
conf
lict w
ith y
our
child
ren
invo
lve
a m
ism
atch
in te
m-
pera
men
ts?
How
do
your
child
ren
diff
er in
tem
pera
-m
ent?
112
5
Chi
ldre
n w
ho b
elie
ve th
ey h
ave
tope
rfor
m u
p to
a p
aren
t's e
xpec
tatio
nsin
ord
er to
be
acce
pted
are
like
ly to
feel
a d
imin
ishe
dse
nse
of s
elf-
wor
th.
il D
UR
ING
TH
IS W
EE
K...
thin
k ba
ck to
you
r ch
ildho
od. D
idyo
u ev
er f
eel u
nhap
py b
ecau
se y
ou w
ere
diff
eren
t fro
m o
ther
mem
bers
of
your
fam
ily?
Did
you
eve
r fe
el th
at y
ou w
ere
not
livin
g up
to y
our
pare
nts'
exp
ecta
tions
? H
ow d
id th
is a
ffec
tyo
u? R
e-ex
amin
e th
e te
mpe
ram
ent r
atin
gs y
ou m
ade
for
your
-se
lf a
nd y
our
child
ren.
How
can
eac
h of
thes
e ch
arac
teri
stic
spl
ay a
pos
itive
rol
e in
you
r liv
es?
Exp
ectin
g to
o m
uch
from
a c
hild
is a
ssoc
iate
d w
ith c
hild
abu
se. P
aren
ts w
holo
se c
ontr
ol m
ay n
ot r
ealiz
e th
at a
chi
ld c
anno
t mee
t the
ir e
xpec
tatio
ns, e
ither
beca
use
of in
nate
tem
pera
men
tal c
hara
cter
istic
s or
lack
of
mat
urity
.C
hild
ren
who
bel
ieve
they
are
acc
epte
d an
d w
ante
d w
ill f
eel c
onne
cted
with
othe
rs. T
hey
will
fee
l "at
hom
e" in
thei
r fa
mily
.
Chi
ldre
n zv
ill f
eel s
igni
fica
nt o
nly
if w
e in
vest
tim
e in
them
. We
have
to b
e w
illin
g to
mak
e sa
crif
ices
to b
e w
ith th
em, t
o gi
ve th
em o
ur e
xclu
sive
atte
ntio
n.
Be
avai
labl
e to
you
r ch
ildre
n.In
volv
e th
em in
you
r in
tere
sts
and
hobb
ies.
Show
inte
rest
in th
eir
activ
ities
.
Eve
ry c
hild
nee
dsto
fee
l spe
cial
.O
ne o
f th
e w
orst
expe
rien
ces
any-
one
can
have
isto
be
invi
sibl
e, to
be a
non
-per
son.
12
The
re a
re n
o sa
dder
par
ents
than
thos
ew
ho d
isco
ver,
too
late
, tha
t the
y ha
vesq
uand
ered
the
oppo
rtun
ity to
enj
oyth
eir
child
ren'
s co
mpa
ny. S
eize
the
mom
entg
o fo
r a
wal
k, a
pic
nic,
or p
lay
a ga
me
with
you
r ki
ds.
Yes
, kee
p so
me
spac
e in
you
rlif
e fo
r yo
urse
lf. B
ut s
hare
asi
gnif
ican
t par
t of
your
self
with
you
r ch
ildre
n.
Enc
oura
gem
ent:
Iam
adr
eam
erT
he s
econ
d co
re b
elie
f un
derl
ying
sel
f-es
teem
is th
e co
nvic
-tio
n th
at th
e fu
ture
hol
ds p
rom
ise.
If
we
wan
t to
stre
ngth
enou
r ch
ildre
n's
hope
in th
e fu
ture
, our
wor
ds a
nd a
ctio
nssh
ould
con
vey
this
mes
sage
:
Chi
ldre
n m
ay r
evea
l the
ir d
ream
s to
us d
urin
g ca
sual
con
vers
atio
n.
"I'm
goi
ng to
be
a co
wbo
y w
hen
Igr
ow u
p,"
says
the
pres
choo
ler.
"I'm
goi
ng to
teac
h sc
hool
like
my
dad,
" an
noun
ces
a gr
ade
scho
oler
."T
he A
ir F
orce
Aca
dem
y is
my
firs
tst
ep to
war
d be
com
ing
an a
stro
-na
ut,"
ass
erts
a h
igh
scho
ol ju
nior
.
You
hav
e a
won
derf
ul f
utur
e ah
ead
ofyo
u, o
ne f
illed
with
all
sort
s of
pos
sibi
li-tie
s. A
spir
e to
a g
oal w
orth
y of
you
r lif
e.Pu
rsue
you
r dr
eam
s.
Tal
k w
ith c
hild
ren
abou
t the
ir g
oals
.
Enc
oura
ge y
oung
chi
ldre
n to
set
goa
ls in
thei
rpl
ay. F
or e
xam
ple,
you
mig
ht s
ay, "
You
are
goi
ngto
bui
ld a
tow
er?
Show
me
whe
n yo
u're
don
e."
Enc
oura
ge o
li:er
chi
ldre
n to
mak
e pl
ans
to r
each
imm
edia
te g
oals
and
beg
in th
inki
ng a
bout
thei
rlo
ng-r
ange
goa
ls. H
elp
them
env
isio
n al
l sor
ts o
fpo
ssib
ilitie
s th
at s
uit t
heir
inte
rest
s an
d ab
ilitie
s.
Nev
er r
idic
ule
or c
ritic
ize
child
ren'
s dr
eam
s, e
ven
ifyo
u th
ink
they
are
unr
ealis
tic. T
ry to
hel
p th
emun
ders
tand
wha
t the
y m
ay h
ave
to d
o to
rea
ch th
eir
goal
s. E
xpan
d th
eir
visi
on to
incl
ude
othe
r, r
elat
edop
tions
that
mig
ht b
e av
aila
ble
to th
em if
they
de-
cide
to m
ake
a ch
ange
.
A c
hild
's d
ream
for
the
futu
re is
one
of
the
mos
t pre
ciou
s an
dde
eply
per
sona
l con
fide
nces
he
or s
he m
ay e
xpre
ss to
a p
aren
t.If
we
show
indi
ffer
ence
or
belit
tle th
ese
hope
s, w
e cr
eate
a g
ulf
betw
een
us th
at w
ill b
e di
ffic
ult t
o br
idge
. A c
hild
will
kee
p th
ispa
rt o
f hi
s or
her
life
sec
ret r
athe
r th
an r
isk
bein
g hu
rt a
gain
.
Pare
ntal
sup
port
is p
ositi
vely
ass
ocia
ted
with
sel
f-es
teem
. Chi
ldre
n w
ho "
own"
thei
r go
als
are
mor
e hi
ghly
mot
ivat
ed to
ach
ieve
them
. The
y ar
e di
rect
ed m
ore
by th
eir
inne
r va
lues
and
asp
ira-
tions
than
by
exte
rnal
pre
ssur
es.
2 S
O D
UR
ING
TH
IS W
EE
K...
mak
e a
list o
fth
e go
als
you
had
as a
chi
ld. W
hat d
idyo
u w
ant t
o be
whe
n yo
u gr
ew u
p? D
idyo
u sh
are
thes
e dr
eam
s w
ith a
nyon
e el
se?
How
did
they
rea
ct?
Wha
t are
you
r go
als
for
the
futu
re n
ow?
Tal
k w
ith y
our
chil-
dren
abo
ut th
ese
old
and
new
hop
es.
13
You
ng c
hild
ren'
s pe
rspe
ctiv
es o
f th
e fu
ture
are
limite
d by
the
sim
ple
way
they
view
the
wor
ld a
roun
d th
em. A
pre
scho
ol b
oyw
ho s
ays,
"I'm
goi
ng to
mar
ryyo
u w
hen
I gr
ow u
p,m
omm
y,"
reve
als
little
aw
aren
ess
of th
e ef
fect
s of
tim
ean
d so
cial
pro
prie
ty. B
ut h
is c
omm
ents
sho
w b
oth
love
for
his
mot
her
and
abe
lief
that
he
can
mak
e a
posi
tive
futu
re h
appe
n.
Pres
choo
l chi
ldre
n ar
e ty
pica
lly m
ore
conc
erne
d ab
out t
heir
imm
edia
te f
utur
e. T
hey
may
,fo
r ex
ampl
e, z
vorr
y ab
out b
eing
sep
arat
ed f
rom
thei
r pa
rent
s or
bein
g ha
rmed
by
som
eone
.
At a
bout
age
4, c
hild
ren
begi
n to
exp
and
thei
r tim
e pe
rspe
c-tiv
e an
d sh
ow o
n in
tere
st in
thei
r pa
st. T
hey
love
to h
ear
pare
nts
talk
to th
em a
bout
wha
t the
y w
ere
like
asba
bies
.T
hey
also
enj
oy h
eari
ng s
tori
es a
bout
thei
r pa
rent
s' y
outh
.
Gra
de s
choo
lers
are
mor
e ca
pabl
e of
ref
lect
ing
on th
eir
futu
re.
The
y ar
e ab
le to
set
mor
e ab
stra
ct g
oals
for
them
selv
esfo
rexa
mpl
e,to
bec
ome
a w
onde
rful
dan
cer,
a s
kille
d ar
tist,
or a
lovi
ng p
aren
t. B
ut th
ey a
reev
alua
ting
the
appr
opri
aten
ess
of th
eir
goal
s or
pla
nnin
gef
fect
ivel
y.
Ado
lesc
ents
are
mor
e ca
pabl
e of
ser
ious
pla
nnin
g an
d re
alco
mm
itmen
t. T
heir
hop
es a
nd d
ream
spr
opel
them
into
a f
utur
e w
here
they
hav
e to
rel
y on
them
selv
es a
nd n
ot th
eir
pare
nts.
The
y w
ant
to e
nvis
ion
a lif
e be
yond
thei
r pa
rent
s' h
ome.
not c
apab
le o
f
The
hum
an c
apac
ity to
plan
ahe
ad is
bas
ed o
npl
ayfu
l day
drea
ms
of p
os-
sibl
e fu
ture
eve
nts.
14tiu
\II
DU
RIN
G T
HIS
WE
EK
... ta
ke ti
me
to ta
lk w
ith y
our
child
ren
abou
t som
ethi
ng d
elig
htfu
l tha
t hap
pene
d to
them
whe
n th
ey w
ere
youn
ger.
At a
noth
er ti
me,
tell
them
som
ethi
ng in
tere
stin
g th
at h
appe
ned
to y
ou w
hen
you
wer
e a
child
.
We
cont
ribu
te to
our
chi
ldre
n's
goal
-set
ting
bynu
rtur
ing
thei
r im
agin
atio
ns. A
ric
h im
agin
atio
nal
low
s a
child
to e
nvis
ion
life'
s po
ssib
ilitie
s.
Em
pow
erm
ent:
I am
a c
ham
pion
The
thir
d co
re b
elie
f un
derl
ying
sel
f-es
teem
is th
e co
nvic
tion
that
one
has
infl
uenc
e in
rel
a-tio
nshi
ps a
nd in
one
's li
fe. I
f w
e w
ant t
o em
pow
er o
ur c
hild
rent
o st
reng
then
thei
r co
ur-
age,
det
erm
inat
ion,
and
com
pete
nceo
ur w
ords
and
act
ions
sho
uld
conv
eyth
is m
essa
ge:
I ca
re e
noug
h ab
out y
ou to
pro
vide
you
with
the
guid
ance
you
mus
t hav
e to
gro
w u
p to
be
aha
ppy
and
resp
onsi
ble
pers
on. I
will
use
my
stre
ngth
to p
rote
ct a
nd n
urtu
re y
ou. B
ut I
am
also
inte
rest
ed in
wha
t KT
_ th
ink
is im
port
ant f
or y
ours
elf.
I w
ill g
radu
ally
let y
ou m
ake
mor
e an
d m
ore
deci
sion
s on
you
r ow
n so
that
by
the
time
you
reac
h ad
ulth
ood,
you
will
be
able
to c
are
for
your
self
. I r
espe
ct y
ou, a
nd I
kno
w I
am
wor
thy
of y
our
resp
ect.
Chi
ldre
n be
gin
wor
king
to-
war
d se
lf-r
elia
nce
and
auto
n-om
y w
hen
they
are
todd
lers
.T
hey
begi
n to
rec
ogni
zeth
emse
lves
as
sepa
rate
and
uniq
ue p
eopl
e an
d to
ass
ert
them
selv
es a
s in
divi
dual
s.
Bei
ng a
cha
mpi
on m
eans
be-
lievi
ng in
one
's a
bilit
y to
reac
h im
port
ant g
oals
, mak
ede
cisi
ons,
and
sol
ve p
rob-
lem
s. C
ham
pion
s ha
ve in
ner
stre
ngth
that
can
be
used
tohe
lp th
emse
lves
and
oth
ers.
Chi
ldre
n w
ant
to b
e pr
otec
ted
by th
eir
par-
ents
' str
engt
h,no
t dom
inat
edby
it.
Rea
sona
ble
limits
pro
vide
chi
ldre
n w
ith s
ecur
ity. U
nrea
sona
ble
limits
and
ext
rem
eco
ntro
l mak
e ch
ildre
n fe
el p
ower
less
and
con
trib
ute
to th
eir
frus
trat
ion
and
host
ility
.
Pow
er d
oes
not m
ean
phys
ical
str
engt
h or
dom
i-na
tion.
It i
s a
belie
f in
one
's a
bilit
y to
mak
e th
ings
happ
en, t
o m
ake
a di
ffer
ence
in o
ne's
life
.
Ado
lesc
ents
who
hav
e an
inte
rnal
locu
s of
con
trol
, who
belie
ve th
at w
hat h
appe
ns to
them
in li
fe is
a c
onse
quen
ceof
thei
r ow
n ac
tions
, are
like
ly to
hav
e hi
gh s
elf-
este
em.
Pare
ntal
coe
rcio
n is
rel
ated
to lo
w a
dole
scen
t sel
f-es
teem
.
II D
UR
ING
TH
IS W
EE
K...
take
a lo
ok a
t how
you
exer
cise
pow
er in
you
r re
-la
tions
hips
with
you
r ch
il-dr
en. W
hat k
inds
of
deci
-si
ons
do y
ou le
t the
mm
ake?
Or
do y
ou e
xerc
ise
stri
ct c
ontr
ol o
ver
thei
r ac
-tiv
ities
? W
hat d
o yo
u do
to h
elp
your
chi
ldre
n fe
elco
mpe
tent
and
pow
erfu
l?
Em
p ow
eri
ng c
hild
ren
mea
ns p
rovi
ding
them
with
opp
ortu
-ni
ties
to m
ake
rea-
sona
ble
choi
ces
and
show
ing
conf
iden
cein
thei
r ab
ilitie
s.
3315
Chi
ldre
n w
ill ta
ke p
ride
in w
hat t
hey
do if
they
bel
ieve
thei
r su
cces
ses
are
the
resu
lt of
thei
r ow
n ab
ilitie
s an
d ef
fort
s ra
ther
than
the
prod
ding
or
wor
k of
oth
ers.
III
DU
RIN
G T
HIS
WE
EK
... m
ake
a lis
t of
at le
ast f
our
or f
ive
succ
esse
ssm
all o
r la
rgey
our
child
ren
have
exp
erie
nced
in th
e la
st m
onth
. How
did
you
rea
ct to
thes
e lit
tle v
icto
ries
?H
ow d
id y
ou r
eaff
irm
eac
h ch
ild's
sen
se o
f pe
rson
al a
ccom
-pl
ishm
ent?
If
you
coul
d no
t thi
nk o
f fo
ur s
ucce
sses
, tak
eso
me
time
to c
onsi
der
how
you
mig
ht in
trod
uce
chal
leng
esth
at p
rese
nt y
our
child
ren
with
a c
hanc
e fo
r su
cces
s.
Don
't ov
er-e
mph
asiz
e su
cces
s. S
ome
child
ren,
man
y of
them
gif
ted
and
tale
nted
, may
try
to p
rote
ctth
eir
self
-est
eem
by
givi
ng u
p w
hen
face
d w
ith th
e th
reat
of
failu
re, e
spec
ially
in c
ompe
titiv
e ci
rcum
-st
ance
s. C
hild
ren
with
hig
h se
lf-e
stee
m a
re w
illin
g to
try
som
ethi
ng n
ew a
nd d
iffi
cult.
The
y ar
e no
t"s
ucce
ss ju
nkie
s."
The
ir s
elf-
wor
th d
oes
not d
epen
d on
win
ning
.T
ry to
"ca
tch
your
chi
ldbe
ing
good
." F
ocus
on
posi
tive
acco
mpl
ishm
ents
.Sh
ow a
ppre
ciat
ion
for
your
chi
ld's
eff
orts
.
Prov
ide
child
ren
with
op-
port
uniti
es to
mak
e a
real
cont
ribu
tion
to th
efa
mily
's w
ell-
bein
g. F
orex
ampl
e, th
ey m
ight
hel
pw
ith s
peci
al p
roje
cts
arou
nd th
e ho
use,
ass
ist-
ing
with
sho
ppin
g, o
r ta
k-in
g pa
rt in
pre
pari
ng f
or a
holid
ay p
arty
.
16
Chi
ldre
n w
ant t
o fe
elas
thou
gh th
ey m
atte
r,th
at w
hat t
hey
thin
kis
impo
rtan
t to
othe
rs.
3 4
Be
spec
ific
in y
our
prai
se. I
nste
ad o
fsa
ying
, "Y
ou a
resu
ch a
goo
ci b
oy,"
you
coul
d su
ppor
thi
s ef
fort
s at
hel
p-fu
lnes
s, c
ompe
-te
nce,
inde
pend
-en
ce b
y sa
ying
som
ethi
ng li
ke, "
Ire
ally
app
reci
ate
your
hel
p ar
ound
the
hous
e. I
cou
ldne
ver
get i
t all
done
zvi
thou
t you
.T
hank
s."
Con
vers
ely,
avo
id la
bels
like
"Y
ou a
resu
ch a
bad
boy
." T
his
stat
emen
t dis
ap-
prov
es o
f w
ho th
e ch
ild L
s in
stea
d of
wha
t he
or s
he d
oes.
The
re is
the
impl
i-ca
tion
that
wha
t the
chi
ld is
doi
ng is
inev
itabl
e be
caus
e sh
e or
he
is b
ad. I
tw
ould
be
bette
r to
say
,"N
o, y
ou c
anno
t hit
the
kitc
hen
tabl
ew
ith th
e ha
mm
er.
Tha
t rui
ns th
eta
ble.
..."
Wha
tch
ildre
n do
does
not
defi
ne w
hoth
ey a
re.
;///.\
,.
/-;
,Pa
y at
tent
ion
to h
ow y
ou li
sten
toyo
ur c
hild
ren.
Tak
e se
riou
sly
wha
tth
ey s
ay. G
et d
own
to "
eye"
leve
lw
hen
they
wan
t to
talk
to y
ou. T
ryto
list
en w
ithou
t bei
ng ju
dgm
enta
l.
Lov
e: I
am a
frie
ndT
he f
ourt
h co
re b
elie
f un
derl
ying
sel
f-es
teem
is th
e co
nvic
tion
that
one
can
give
and
rec
eive
affe
ctio
n an
d te
nder
ness
, tha
t one
can
nur
ture
and
be
nurt
ured
by
othe
rs. I
fw
e w
ant t
ost
reng
then
com
pass
ion
in o
ur c
hild
ren,
our
wor
ds a
nd a
ctio
ns s
houl
d co
nvey
this
mes
sage
:
I w
ant t
o be
clo
se to
you
; I lo
ve y
ou. Y
ou a
re s
peci
al to
me.
I a
m w
illin
g to
rev
eal w
ho I
am
so
you
can
get t
o kn
owbe
tter.
You
can
use
you
r st
reng
th to
exp
ress
tend
erne
ss a
nd c
once
rn f
or o
ther
s. Y
ou g
ive
me
joy.
The
abi
lity
to o
ffer
and
rec
eive
aff
ectio
n gr
ows
out o
f fe
elin
g ac
cept
ed a
nd r
espe
cted
.
War
m, a
ccep
ting
pare
nts
tend
to h
ave
chil-
dren
with
hig
h se
lf-e
stee
m.
Alie
nate
d ad
oles
cent
s vi
ew th
eir
pare
nts
asho
stile
and
non
acce
ptin
g.
Pare
ntal
war
mth
is a
ssoc
iate
d w
ith p
ositi
vese
x-ro
le d
evel
opm
ent,
soci
al c
ompe
tenc
e,po
pula
rity
, and
altr
uism
.
Chi
ldre
n w
ith h
igh
self
-est
eem
are
mor
elik
ely
to s
hare
with
oth
ers.
me
Som
etim
es o
lder
chi
ldre
n an
d ad
oles
cent
s sh
y aw
ay f
rom
war
m, a
ffec
tiona
te c
onta
ct w
ith p
aren
ts, e
spe-
cial
ly in
pub
lic. B
ut th
ey s
till n
eed
pare
nts
to r
espo
nd to
them
war
mly
.In
one
stu
dy, a
dole
scen
t dau
ghte
rs r
e-ca
lled
rece
ivin
g le
ss a
ffec
tion
and
supp
ort
from
thei
r fa
ther
s th
an th
e fa
ther
s re
-ca
lled
expr
essi
ng. D
augh
ters
wis
hed
they
had
rece
ived
, and
fat
hers
wis
hed
they
had
give
n, m
ore
affe
ctio
n an
d su
ppor
t.
36
Unf
ortu
nate
ly, m
any
pare
ntse
spec
ially
fat
hers
may
fee
l ins
ecur
e ab
out e
xpre
ssin
g af
fect
ion
inpu
blic
. The
y m
ay a
void
hug
ging
or
kiss
ing
thei
rch
ildre
n fo
r fe
ar o
f pu
blic
cri
ticis
m a
nd g
ossi
p.17
3 7
Lov
e ha
s to
be
clea
rly
expr
esse
d to
be
felt.
Chi
ldre
n do
not
thri
ve f
rom
hea
ring
abo
utou
r lo
ve.
The
y m
ust e
xper
ienc
e it.
DU
RIN
G T
HIS
WE
EK
... r
ecal
l the
spe
cial
peo
ple
who
prov
ided
you
with
sup
port
whe
n yo
u w
ere
grow
ing
up.
t low
did
they
exp
ress
aff
ectio
n fo
r yo
u? I
f po
ssib
le,
vrite
a le
tter
to o
ne o
f th
ese
spec
ial p
eopl
e an
d le
t the
mkn
ow w
hat t
hey
did
that
was
so
impo
rtan
t for
you
. How
have
thes
e pe
ople
con
trib
uted
to y
our
rela
tions
hip
with
you
r ch
ild r
en?
Tak
e tim
e to
giv
e yo
ur c
hild
ren
spec
ial a
ttent
ion.
Exp
ress
aff
ectio
n th
roug
hte
nder
phy
sica
l con
tact
.
Tel
l you
r ch
ildre
n fr
om ti
me
to ti
me
that
they
are
love
d.L
ovin
g de
eds
conv
ey th
epo
wer
of
a pa
rent
'saf
fect
ion;
lovi
ng w
ords
pro
vide
a c
lear
,di
rect
sta
tem
ent o
f ho
w a
pare
nt f
eels
. Aff
ectio
n is
mos
tpo
wer
ful w
hen
conv
eyed
thro
ugh
wor
ds a
nd a
ctio
ns.
OD
UR
ING
TH
IS W
EE
K...
mak
e a
list o
f th
e w
ays
you
expr
ess
your
love
for
you
r ch
ildre
n.H
ow d
o yo
u de
m-
onst
rate
you
r af
fect
ion
for
them
? M
ake
a se
cond
list
of
way
s yo
ur c
hild
ren
expr
ess
thei
r lo
ve f
or y
ou. W
hen
You
are
thro
ugh,
ask
you
rch
ildre
n to
thin
k of
all
the
way
s lo
ve is
exp
ress
ed in
you
r re
latio
nshi
psw
ith th
em.
Shar
e w
hat y
ou h
ad o
n yo
ur li
sts.
Can
you
lear
n an
y-th
ing
from
thei
r pe
rspe
ctiv
es?
Con
clus
ion
Nur
turi
ng s
elf-
este
em in
chi
ldre
n ca
n be
a d
iffi
cult
unde
rtak
ing.
Onl
y by
ext
endi
ng a
ccep
-ta
nce,
enc
oura
gem
ent,
empo
wer
men
t, an
d lo
ve to
our
selv
es c
an w
e th
en o
ffer
thes
e gi
fts
toou
r ch
ildre
n. I
n ad
ditio
n, c
hild
ren
may
res
ist o
ur e
ffor
ts to
cha
nge
the
unfa
ir o
r ir
ratio
nal
belie
fs th
ey h
ave
abou
t the
mse
lves
and
oth
ers.
Con
side
r th
e C
hine
se p
hilo
soph
er L
ao-t
zu's
wor
ds:
Dif
ficu
lt th
ings
of
the
wor
ldC
an o
nly
be ta
ckle
d w
hen
they
are
eas
y.B
ig th
ings
of
the
wor
ldC
an o
nly
be a
chie
ved
by a
ttend
ing
to s
mal
l beg
inni
ngs.
A tr
ee a
s bi
g as
a m
an's
em
brac
e sp
ring
sFr
om a
tiny
spr
out.
A to
wer
nin
e st
orie
s hi
gh b
egin
s w
ith a
hea
p of
ear
th.
Pers
iste
nce
and
patie
nce
are
nece
ssar
y to
bri
ng a
bout
cha
nge.
The
chal
leng
e is
gre
at b
ecau
se th
e po
tent
ial b
enef
its a
re e
norm
ous.
Self
-est
eem
is th
e ke
y to
our
chi
ldre
n's
futu
re.
4u41
19
Bib
liogr
aphy
and
Sug
gest
ed R
eadi
ngs
The
Ado
lesc
ent,
by D
anie
l Off
er, E
ric
Ost
rov,
and
Ken
neth
How
ard
(New
Yor
k: B
asic
Boo
ks, 1
981)
.
The
Ant
eced
ents
of
Self
-Est
eem
, by
Stan
ley
Coo
pers
mith
(Sa
n Fr
ansi
sco:
W.H
. Fre
eman
,19
67).
The
Dev
elop
men
t of
the
Self
, ed.
by
Rob
ert L
. Lea
hy (
New
Yor
k: A
cade
mic
Pre
ss, 1
985)
.
Kno
w Y
our
Chi
ld: A
n A
utho
rita
tive
Gui
de F
or T
oday
's N
ew P
aren
ts, b
y St
ella
Che
ss a
ndA
lexa
nder
Tho
mas
(N
ew Y
ork:
Bas
ic B
ooks
, 198
7).
Part
ners
in P
lay:
A S
tep-
by-S
tep
Gui
de to
Im
agin
ativ
e Pl
ay in
Chi
ldre
n, b
y D
orot
hy a
ndJe
rom
e Si
nger
(N
ew Y
ork:
Har
per
and
Row
, 197
7).
Prom
otin
g th
e So
cial
Dev
elop
men
t of
You
ng C
hild
ren,
by
Cha
rles
A. S
mith
(Pa
lo A
lto,
Cal
ifor
nia:
May
fiel
d Pu
blis
hing
Com
pany
, 198
2).
Rai
sing
Chi
ldre
n Fo
r Su
cces
s, b
y St
ephe
n G
lenn
and
Jan
e N
elso
n (F
air
Oak
s, C
alif
orni
a:Su
nris
e l'r
ess,
198
7).
Self
-Est
eem
: A. F
amily
Aff
air,
by
Jean
Ills
ley
Cla
rke
(Min
neap
olis
: Win
ston
Pre
ss, 1
978)
.
You
r C
hild
's S
elf-
Est
eem
, by
Dor
othy
Cor
kvill
e B
rigg
s (G
arde
n C
ity, N
Y: D
oubl
eday
,19
70).
For
mor
e in
form
atio
n ab
out r
esea
rch
on s
elf-
este
em, s
ee
Will
iam
Dam
on a
nd D
anie
l Har
t, "T
he D
evel
opm
ent o
f Se
lf-U
nder
stan
ding
fro
m I
n-fa
ncy
thro
ugh
Ado
lesc
elic
e,"
Chi
ld D
evel
opm
ent 5
3: 8
41-8
64, 1
982.
Shir
ley
Mill
er, H
arve
y G
insb
urg,
and
Sha
ron
Rog
ow, "
Self
-Est
eem
and
Sha
ring
inFo
urth
-Gra
de C
hild
ren,
" So
cial
Beh
avio
r an
d Pe
rson
ality
9: 2
11-2
12, 1
981.
D. K
im O
pens
haw
, Dar
win
L. T
hom
as, a
nd B
oyd
C. R
ollin
s, "
Pare
ntal
Inf
luen
ces
onA
dole
scen
t Sel
f-E
stee
m,"
Jou
rnal
of
Ear
ly A
dole
scen
ce 4
(3):
259
-274
, 198
4.
Mic
hael
W. P
asse
r, "
Fear
of
Failu
re, F
ear
of E
valu
atio
n, P
erce
ived
Com
pete
nce
and
Self
-E
stee
m in
Com
petit
ive-
Tra
it-A
nxio
us C
hild
ren,
" Jo
urna
l of
Spor
t Psy
chol
ogy
5: 1
72-1
88,
1983
.
Don
na Y
anis
h an
d Ja
mes
Bat
tle, "
Rel
atio
nshi
ps b
etw
een
Self
-Est
eem
, Dep
ress
ion,
and
Alc
ohol
Con
sum
ptio
n am
ong
Ado
lesc
ents
," P
sych
olog
ical
Rep
orts
57:
331
-334
, 198
5.
20
I w
ould
like
to th
ank
the
follo
win
g in
divi
dual
s fo
rth
eir
obse
rvat
ions
, sug
-ge
stio
ns, a
nd e
ncou
rage
-m
ent d
urin
g th
e pr
epar
a-tio
n of
I'm
Pos
itive
: Ric
h-ar
d H
ause
, Dav
id B
alk,
Mar
gare
t Phi
llips
, and
Kit
Gri
ffin
. I w
ould
als
olik
e to
exp
ress
my
than
ksto
Myr
na D
aly
and
Fred
And
erso
n fo
r th
eir
edito
-ri
al a
nd d
esig
n co
ntri
bu-
tions
.
We
wou
ld li
ke to
hea
rab
out y
our
use
of I
'mPo
sitiv
e: G
row
ing
Up
With
Self
-Est
eem
. Sen
d yo
urco
mm
ents
and
sug
ges-
tions
to:
Cha
rles
A. S
mith
, Ph.
D.
Dep
artm
ent o
f H
uman
Dev
elop
men
t and
Fam
ily S
tudi
esJu
stin
Hal
lK
ansa
s St
ate
Uni
vers
ityM
anha
ttan,
KS
6650
6(9
13)
532-
5780
43
Arn
atA
sST
AT
ICtr
efiv
ieR
IBIT
Y
GE
S1 C
OPY
AV
AN
ILL
CO
OP
ER
AT
IVE
EX
TE
NS
ION
SE
RV
ICE
, MA
NH
AT
TA
N,
KA
NS
AS
S.3
1S
o.pt
embe
r 19
88
Issu
ed in
furt
hera
nce
of C
oope
rativ
e E
xten
sion
Wor
k, a
ctsof
May
Ban
d Ju
ne 3
0,19
14, a
s an
unde
d K
ansa
s S
tain
ilniv
ersr
ty, C
ount
y [ x
tpris
lon
Cou
ncils
, and
Uni
ted
Sta
tes
Dep
artm
ent o
f Agr
icul
ture
Coo
pera
ting,
Wal
ter
Ft W
oods
, Dire
ch,r
All
nduc
atio
nal I
,-ra
rris
and
mat
orla
ls
able
with
out d
iscr
imin
atio
n on
the
basi
s of
rac
e, c
olor
,nat
iona
l orig
in, s
ex, a
go. o
r ha
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1. You're on the right track now! 2. Youare very good at that. 3. That's the best youhave ever done. 4. I'm happy to see youworking like that. 5. Nice try! 6. That'sthe way to do it. 7. I knew you could do it.8. Now you've figured it out. 9. Now youhave it. 10. OUTSTANDING! 11. Keepworking on it, you're getting better.12. You're really working hardtoday. 13. You're a great help!14. You're getting betterevery day. 15. You'rereally growing An.
up! 16. You
figuredthat outfast.
17. You'rea real prince(or.princess).18. You did
, that very1"0:tiell.. 19.
Nice going.That's
:4 kind:
t thingyou did. -21. KeepU. up! 22.S LIPER!
A- 'NINE
50. Nobody's perfect. 51. You certainly didwell today. 52. You're doing beautifully.53. Congratulations! 54. That's quite animprovement. 55. That's a masterpiece!56. EXCELLENT! 57. That's the best ever.58. You're doing fine. 59. You are learning
fast. 60. THAT'S IT! 61. Couldn'thave done it better myself.62. You really make being aparent fun. 63. TERRIFIC!64. You did it that time!
65. You haven't missed athing. 66. Now you'vefigured it out. 67. That's
the way! 68. DYNAMITE!69. Keep up the hard work.
70. Nothing can stop you now!71. Good for you! 72. You've got
your brain in gear today.73. WONDERFUL!
74. You did a lot ofwork today!
75. Nicegoing.
Nerrii'`4Li
that'swhat Icall a
it up! 22.SUPER!23. Youmake itlook easy.
24. WhenI'm withyou I feellike singing!25. I sure
am happyyou are mchild. 26.That's myboy (or girl)!27. I'm veryproud of you.28. I'm proudof the way youworked today.29. You can doit! 30. You'lldo better nexttime! 31. Ithink you'vegot it now. 32.Keep on trying!33. You've got thatdown pat! 34. Good thinking! 35. You aredoing that much better today. 36. You'vejust about got it. 37. You're really going totown! 38. You're really improving. 39. Ilove you! 40. SUPERB! 41. That's muchbetter! 42. That's really nice. 43. I likethat. 44. FANTASTIC! 45. That's right!46. You must have been practicing! 47. I:appreciate your help. 48. One more timeand ijimhave it. a SENSATIONAL!
what I '-call a
fine job!77; It's apleasureto be a.mommy
(or daddy)when youwork like
that. 78.You've just
about mas-tered that!79. Right
on! 80.Good re-
membering!81. You arereally learn-
ing a lot.82. You'vegot a great
future!83. FINE!84. You're
doing the bestyou can! 85. TREMENDOUS! 86. Youout-did yourself today! 87..PERFECT!88. You remembered. 89. Now you havethe hang of it! 90. GREAT! 91. Well, lookat you go! 92. That gives me a happyfeeling. 93. That's a friendly thing to do!94. CLEVER! 95. You're like a beautiful(name object), (name child). 96. Way to go.97.-,MARVELOUS! 98. You're beautifUl..99:/CONGRATULATIONS. You gotnatnebeiFfor) right., no. wyEL
Pt,
, I 1`111,1,71 017 111,0 i!!".'
4 7 OEST COPY AVAILABLE
