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8/8/2019 EC Main PPT
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Based on the book:
SPEAKING YOUR MIND IN
101 DIFFICULTSITUATIONS
by
Don Gabor
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OUR PERCEPTION
Communication is the process that occurs whena perceived behavior in one person causes a
significant mental, emotional, physical, orspiritual reaction in another person .
Since silence, withdrawal, and absence can
cause significant mental and emotionalreactions, it is impossible to not communicate.
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EFFECTIVITY SIMPLIFIED
Two or more people communicate effectively
when each feels clear at the end that
My main (primary) needs have been met well
enough,
in a way that pleases me well enough.
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ABOUT HUMANNEEDS:
Aneedis a physical, psychological, and/orspiritual discomfort.
All human thoughts, emotions, and behaviourare caused by current primary needs.
Needs vary in priority, depending onpersonalities and situations. Conflicting priorities
cause problems. Communication is an instinctive reflex which
aims to fill current needs.
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OURAIM:
Communication is a primary and involuntary function ofdaily routine.
As citizens of a world plagued by the Curse OfThe Babel, it
is imperative that we learn to handle situationsappropriately and responsibly.
We face many situations on a daily routine during which we
must answer or question the need or existence of an
event or element. Problems at work, home, with aspouse or relatives etc.
So, cutting straight to the point, lets delve into stickysituations and understand how to tackle them effectively.
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WHY? BECAUSE LIFE TRULY
ISNT ALWAYS AS EASY ASTHIS:
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T-A-C-T
Tact is the ability to recognize the delicacy of a
situation and then to say the most
considerate or appropriate thing.Tact requires sensitivity towards others,
combined with the skill to speak assertively
without giving offence.
Tact is the talent for managing difficult
circumstances or people.
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TELLING YOUR BOSS
We all may face bosses who are overly critical, authoritarian, stressedout, disorganized, impatient, pushy or simply inept. How skillfullywe communicate with them affects our productivity, jobsatisfaction, performance reviews and rate of advancement.
Talking to the supervisor requires the tact of a diplomat and the timingof a snake wrangler.To get the results you want, approach yoursupervisor at a convenient time and then briefly yet confidentlypresent your case.
Above all, avoid angry confrontations, because while you may get someimmediate satisfaction by blowing off steam, you are jeopardizingyour future at the company.
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I DEMAND ARAISE!!!
Persuade your boss that you are worth more money by presenting specific waysyou have cut company costs, increased sales and productivity or how you
can contribute more.
When the time is ripe, head in to the office and say:
Id like to discuss ways I can move up in our department. Ive recentlyaccomplished. and I am capable of more. I would like to assume more
responsibility. What do you think?
The tricky part is responding in the event of a rejection. Rejection must be
handled properly. It may be tempting to blowup, threaten to quit, loweryour productivity or just sulk at your desk. But theres only one loser therein.
On rejection:
I understand. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss this issue with me. Can
we discuss this again in a few months time?
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not the best way
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I QUIT!
If you decide to leave your job, you can do so in two ways gracefully orwith drama and animosity.Timing, choice of words and preparationmake all the difference in the world.
M
ake it a point to leave on amicable terms if not friendly.To avoid a tense showdown, follow these tips:
Type a short unemotional letter stating why you wish to resign.
Include the effective date.Two weeks is standard.
Outline plans for an orderly transfer of responsibility.
Offer your services if your successor has any questions.
Make every effort to end the letter on a positive note by writing afew words of thanks to your boss for his or her help.
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Something like this!
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dont do this
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TELLING THOSE YOU SUPERVISE
At some point in time or the other, we all will reach a level ofsupervisory administration.As a supervisor, you want to be liked byyour staff, but sometimes your subordinates mistake yourfriendliness as a signal that they can get away with shoddy work. But
you may be afraid of alienating your staff and creating friction inyour department.
This is just one of many difficult situations that managers findthemselves in.After all, supervising would be easy if yourdepartment could accomplish all its production goals without you
cracking the whip, reprimanding workers for wasting time, ormaking tough decisions without hurting someones feelings.
Being a motivator and monitor is part of a supervisors job. If youcombine assertiveness, flexibility and sensitivity, your staff willrespect your authority and be more open to you suggestions.
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YOURE NOT GETTINGA
PROMOTIONDenying a subordinate a promotion can cause hard feelings. If you avoid giving
constructive suggestions or merely say that a more qualified candidate got
the job, your worker will not know how to improve. Plus, he or she willprobably feel frustrated and may have little hope of ever being promoted.
Soften the disappointment and help increase his or her chances for futureadvancement by saying:
(name), thanks for applying for the position of. but you need to gain more
experience in. and increase your skills at..
If your subordinate responds:
This isnt fair. I never get any breaks!
You can respond:
(name), when you improve your. skills, then youll have a better chance of
getting the job when a similar position opens up. Youve got to do somework, but it will pay off for you in the future.
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YOURE FIRED
For most managers, firing an employee is the most unpleasant taskthey face in their jobs.As a manager, you must consider the workersrights under law as well as his or her feelings. Here is an acceptedstep-by-step disciplinary method:
A documented oral reprimand. Specific guidance to correct the problem.
Awritten warning specifying the problem and the time allowed forits elimination.
An employee hearing to allow employee justification.
A one-day suspension to show that the problem remains.
A last warning given for an employee to change his/her ways, lest,termination.
An exit interview to explain the reason for being terminated.
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if only we could do this
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TELLING YOURCOWORKERS
Is the new office assistant forever interrupting you for help with tasksthat he could do on his/her own? Has your best office friendshipdegenerated into hostile competition?Does a coworkers incessantjabbering make you want to pull your hair out?
Everyone faces difficult situations like these with coworkers at one timeor another.Successfully handling on-the-job conflicts requires you tosolve the specific problem without leaving you or your coworkerfeeling angry or hurt.
If you let a troubling situation fester until you blow up, your coworker
will be confused and resentful. On the other hand, if you say or donothing about a problem, you may end up frustrated.
Most people will gracefully comply with an appropriate request, while adictatorial demand in an arrogant manner will yield negative results.
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STOP TALKING BEHIND MY BACK
While gossip is a part of life in the workplace, being the target of amalicious rumour can ruin your career.Stopping a gossipingcoworker required an assertive statement. In a calm and firm voice :
Im upset because Ive heard that you are spreading rumours about me.That bothers me because it makes my work more difficult anjeopardizes my job. You may think whatever you please, but pleasestop gossiping about me.
Ending politely you can say:
I hope Ive cleared up any misconceptions that you may have.A
s far asIm concerned, I want to get on with our job here and keep mypersonal life out of it! Is that okay with you?
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FOR BETTERCONVERSATIONS
WITH COWORKERS DO make an effort to show a personal interest in your coworkers.
DONT gossip or bad-mouth your coworkers.
DO make an effort to mend fences and resolve outstanding issues.
DONT assume that problems with coworkers will go away bythemselves.
DO solicit input from your coworkers to improve your productivity.
DONT be a know-it-all.
DO compliment your coworkers talent, hard work and good ideas.
DONT pass by an opportunity to help a deserving coworker in acrunch.
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HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU?
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THEN
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FOR BETTERCONVERSATIONS IN
COMMERCIAL SITUATIONS DO remain polite and respectful.
DONT lose your temper, become hostile, or make specific threats.
DO talk to the person who can resolve your problem.
DONT repeat the problem to those cannot help.
DO know and exercise your consumer rights.
DONT let a businessperson put his or her needs before yours.
DO try and keep detailed records of your business conversations.
DONT get bullied into dropping your complaint, accepting poorcustomer service, or receiving less money than you deserve.
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TELLING YOUR FRIENDS
The most enduring friendships are built on trust and take time todevelop.
However, tactlessly blurting out your opinions even if they are withthe best of intentions can quickly ruin even the best of friendships.
You need to maintain a delicate balance between speaking openly,offering gentle suggestions, and quietly accepting a friends final
decisions.
Here are some common situations that can cause problems betweenfriends, and how to handle them tactfully.
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IM ANGRY. YOU HURT MY
FEELINGSKeep the following points in mind when you bring up the subject:
Your friend may:
Be completely unaware that your feelings have been hurt.
Assume that his or her behaviour does not offend you. Assume that because you are friends, you will excuse insensitive or inappropriate
behaviour.
All you have to do is say something like this:
I want you to know that it really hurts my feelings when you.
You may not realize it, but when you constantly tease me about.. in front of otherpeople, it makes me very uncomfortable and angry.
I know you dont mean it, and thats why Im asking you to stop. I dont want to make abig deal about it, but I dont appreciate being the butt of your jokes.Alright?
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DATING
Relationships and dating are hard enough anyway.Delving into how tomake things work, or trying to solve problems is highly relative tothe equation between the two in a relationship.
While emotions may be close to the surface, your amorous advancesmight catch your friend by surprise and as a result, elicit a negativeresponse. If this happens, dont pressure your friend into saying ordoing anything that he or she is not ready for. In other words, if yourfriend rejects your romantic overtures, then accept the rejectiongracefully by saying something like:
I didnt mean to embarrass you or put you on the spot. I just wanted totell you how Im feeling because I was hoping you might be feelingthe same way. I understand that you dont feel as I do and I acceptthat, but let me know if you ever change your mind.
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DOS AND DONTS WHEN TALKING
TO YOUR PARENTS DO talk to your parents with respect.
DONT assume that you and your parents share the same values.
DO make an effort to seek their advice and counsel.
DONT blindly expect your parents to rescue you from a badsituation.
DO show your appreciation for what your parents do for you.
DONT contrast your parents with your friends parents.
DO forgive your parents for their child-rearing mistakes. DONT focus on events from the distant past that made you angry
with your parents.
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CONCLUSION
The strategies, skills, and suggestions presented herein work, but only ifyou use them and adapt them to your own situations.
Its important to understand how to think before speaking, listeningeffectively, relaxing under pressure, asserting yourself, and copingwith troublesome personalities.
Being able to openly discuss delicate subjects without making othersfeel embarrassed, offended or defensive will empower each one ofus with a massive thrust of confidence and self-esteem.
People will respond in a way that may surprise you when you talk tothem tactfully theyll like and respect you!
NEEDONEASK FORMORE ???
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