Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy Volume 16, Number 4, Winter 1998 FALLAC IES ABOUT LOVE N MARRIAGE Joseph S. Silverman Private Practice, Altoona, Pennsylvania Editor's Note: This article, originally written for physicians in order that they are better prepared to deal with their patients' concerns about relati onships, sheds interesti ng light on myths and misconceptions underlying problems i n dating, mating an d separating. Behavioral specialists, and prob ably famil y physicians as well, some- times consider with their patients ques tions about romance and mar- riage. As in many areas where physicians are c onsulted , professionals' wisdom is often based on their life experience. Authoritative sources are not readily available. In reviewing these topics with patients and others, I have found an actual prevalence of what I belie ve to be misc oncept ions. Pe rhaps the following discussions, based on limited research but ample theory and clinica l experience, will be of interest and value to other physicians and counselors. Fallacy #1 . Being i n love is the best reason for getting married. Historically, romantic love as a basis fo r marriage has not for very long been the decisive factor. Indeed, in many parts of the world right no w arranged marriages are the long-established cultural tradition. What is this thing called love? Freud described r omantic love as what evolves when an and valued member of the opposite sex elevates one's self-esteem, routi ng personal insecurities. Roman- Address correspondence to Joseph S. Silverman, M.D., Blair Medical Center, Buildi ng B, Suite 203, 501 Howard Avenue, Altoona, PA 16601-4888. 255 © 1998 Human Sciences Press Inc.
