58 Titus Ctoan

before she noticed that there was a note pinncd upon the outside of thedoor. Peering at it $he at last made out what Fuchsia had scrawled,inher invariable charcoal.

Can't wait tmtil tlu doomsda2 -2ou'rc so sr,ow!Mrs Slagg tried the door handle although she knew that the door

would be locked, Leaving the ray and the apples. on the mat outsideshe retrcated to her own room where she might indulge herself inhalcyon glimpses of the future . Life, it seemed, was not over for her.

THE ATTIC

Mnerwrirlr Fuchsia had, after waiting impatiently for her breakfast,gone to a cupboard where she,hept an emergency supply of eatables -half an old seed cake and some dandelion wine . There was also a boxof dates which.Flay had purloined and brought up for her several weeksbefore, and two wrinklcd pears. These shc wrapped in a picce of cloth.Next she lit a candle and placed it on thc floor near the wall, thcnhollowing her strong young back she laid hold of the foot-rail of her bedand dragged it back sulficiently for her to squeeze herselfbetween thcrail and thc wall and to unlatch the cupboard door. Suctching over thehead-rail she grasped her bundle offood and then picked up the candlefrom near her feet, and ducking her head crept through the narrowopening and found'herself at the lowcrmost steps of the flight that ledupwards in dark spirals. Closing the door behind her, she dragged abolt into position and the tremor$ which she always expericnced at thismoment of locking herself in, took hold of her and for a moment shbshook from head to foot.'Then, with her candle lighting her face and the three sliding steps

before her as she climbed, she ascended into her region.As Fuchsia climbed into the winding darkncss her body was

impregnated and made faint by a qualm as of green April. Hcr heart*StxlilllY,e

that equats in its power the tove ofman for woman andreaches inwards as deeply. It is the lovc of a man or of a woman fortheir world. For the world of theircentre where their lives burngenuinely and with a free flame.

Thc love of the diver for his world of wavering light. His world ofpcads and tendrils and his breath at his breast. Born as a plunger iniothc deepe he is at one with every swarm of lime-grcen fish, with everycoloured sponge. As he holds himself to the ocean's facry floor, one

Titus Groaa 59hand clasped to a bedded y\"J"-r rib, he is complete and infinite. pulse,power and universe

ryay.in hi;il;: tieis"rn rove.The love of the r

r;rsl:rk*l?*mffi,S*ffi ffi r$:ihilrfresh-paint squeezed and r_.;;;;;;t:

ilifr1;il#fiTi.,ffiff*ii*l*r,ffiif"tti*::tThe rich soil crundi*;;;;;;,;.i;j*;:|l?fj"l|;*:,**,'_T_eTAsthe.pear,

and as the painter mutt"rs, 'iim"#;;ii iy":',ffix1%'Jff;rH1';[l!:##H.if :ffifl.s';;;"J';i',ttr,a"*f ,iitJ#il",_il:;vf,1"r|t;i.f;l;3g

of bctonging to the windins stair and the atticwall as she climbed "t:i*i

th: ta hgt rigt't l';iJalon;';t ;"#:"

HIil{{,Tffif *rHili#i{tlq:,t'xll}triairseacnrng thc toPmost s_tep shi tt*p.a andleaned over a three-footnumg door' like the door ofa'byrg r-rrirrJ*i rr,e ratch and entered thefirs^t o{tfg thrce sections of the auic.,'n mhltration of the-morning's sun gave the various objects a ccrtainvague structure but in no way [irp.U"t tt" d,ttiiru""*-oiuilri'rr,r""a,".g'rh;;;;;r#H"f;J:To"*:Til:;

yt| f owtr.mov'ing motes [[" ; ";;;;;;.' H;in grave oider. e ---Jr!"-raq ctr 4ttsnua[e nrmarnent ofstars revolving

One of these na*ow beams lit Fuchsia,s forehead and shoulder. andanother pluckcd "

not, orcrilro; ilffi;:'r*s. To her right was an

;r:t,*:r,f,f til*[ffii"tt$#;lfrif#,i{r:Irntanta to arise from th

", _tr,. *o,i 6il;: ;i""flT:f,fi*cr it abour

, Il,h: gtoom Fuchsi"t .y;;';;j baretv beherforehe"ad;;"i;;;?:1"ile;;;;by;;#,:fi 1.f;,;i:1,*::Bitthey were carm' The eicitement *"t i,"i *.t"ned within them on the:ifl::fll;$$T:lfi:" to tt'i' 'ti"ffia;:il" stood at tr,.,tui,r,"uJ

This room ,r,a. ti. darkest. In thc summcr the light seemed topenetrate through the fissures i" irr"-*"rp.i'*ooa and through the

6o Titas Groon

dislodged portions of stone slating in a less direct way than was the case

in the larger room or galleiy to its right. The third, the smallest attic,with iu steps leading upwards from the gallery with the banisteredverandah was the best lit, for it boasted a window with shutters which,when opened, gave upon a panorama ofroof-tops, towers and battle-ments that lay in a grcat half-circle ,below. Between high bastions mightbc secn, hundrcds offcet bencath, a portion ofquadrangle wherein,were a figure to move across, he would appear no taller than a thimble.

Fuchsia took three paces forward in the first of the attics and thenpaused a moment to re-tie a string above her knee. Over her headvague rafters loomed and while she straightened herself shc noticedthem and unconsciously loved them. This was the lumber room.Though very long and lofty it looked relativcly smallcr than it was, forthe fantastic piles of every imaginablc kind of thing, from the greatorgan. to.the lost and paintcd head of a broken toy lion that must oneday have been the plaything ofone ofFuchsia's ancestors, tpread fromevery wall until only an avenue was left to the 4djacent room. Thishigh, narrow avenus wound down the ccntre'of the flrst attic bcforesuddenly turning at a sharp angle to the right. The fact that thls roomwas filled with lumbcr did not mean that she ignored it and used it onlyas a place of tranait. Oh no, for it was hcre that many long afternoonshad been rpent as she crawled deep into the recesses and found forherself many a $$ange cavern among the incongruous relics of the past.She knew ofways through the centre ofwhat appearcd to be hills offurniture, boxes, musical instruments and toys, kites, pictures, bambooarmour and helmets, flags and relics of every kind, as an Indian knowshis grccn and secret trail. Within reach of her hand the hide and headofa skinned baboon hung dustily over a broken drum that rose biyondthe dim rangcs of this attic medley. Huge and impregnable they lookcdin thc warm still half-light, but tr'uchsia, had she wished'to, could havedisappeared awkwardly but very suddenly into these fantastic moun-tains, rcached their,centre and lain down upon an ancient couch witha picture book at her elbow and been entirely lost to view within a fewmoments,

This morning, she was bound for the third of hcr rooms and mqvedforward through the canyon, ducking beneath the stuffed lcg ofa girallcthat caught a thrcad of the moted sunlight and which, propped acrossFuchsia's path, made a kind oflow lintel immediately bcfore the Paqsagecurved away to the right. As Fuchsia rounded this bend she saw whatshc cxpected to see. Twelve feet away werc the wooden steps which leddown to the second attic, The rafters above thc stcps werc warped intoa sagging curve so that it was not possible to obtain more than arestricted vicw of the room beyond. But the area of empty floor that wasvisible gave an indication ofthe whole. She descended the steps. There

Titus Gnan 6rwas a ripping away of clouds; a sky, a desert, a forsakcn,shore spread

S. rh: stepped forward on the cmpty ,board, it was for her likewalkrng rnto space. space, such as the condors have shrill inklings of,and the cock-eagle glimpses throush his blood.

Silence was there with a loud rfiythm. The halls, towers, the roomsof Gormenghast were of aaother planet. Fuchsia caught at a tt icHoirll-l"T,h"I 4nd dragged her own head back as her-heart beat loudlyand, tingling Iiom head to foot rittle diamonds appeared at the inne'rcorners ofher eyes.

I{ith what characters she had filled this losr stase of emptinesst Itwas here that she would see the people of her imaiirr.ir"",iir" n"i".figures ofher making,_as they strolred from cornerio corner, broodedllke monsters or flew through the air like seraphs with burning wings,or.danced; or fought, or laughed, or cried. This was her attic i-ro,uf..l'believe, where she would watch her mind's companions advancing orrctreating across the dusty floor.

- Gripping her catables tightly in their cloth, her fect echoinc dulrv.she walkcd onwards towards the fixed tadder tirat led to tr,i u"f,."" lithe far cnd. Shc climbed thc ladder, both fcet comin! ;;t"ih;;;;;r.ung-for it was dilncult for hcr to climb with the uottie aia her food foithe day tucked under her arm. There wae no one to see hcr Btronrstraight back and shoulders and the gauche, indecorous ;".;;; ;?her leg-s as'she climbed in her crim-son dress; nor the rensth of hertangled and inky hair. Harf-way up she was'abre ,o iir,tr,'"i-ur,,ai"aboVe her hcad and push it on to thi balcony, and then ,o rrr".*.it..it and find herself standing with the great stage below her as empty asan unremembercd heart,

As 'she looked down,' her hands on the wooden banister that ranalong the attic verandah, she knew that ai a cail she could set i, ;;;;;the five- main figures of her making. Those whom she h"d ; ;f;;watched,below heq almost as thoug[ they were realry there. et n*iiihad not been easy to understand thim noi to tefl them what to d;:Iil;now it would be easy, at any rate for them to enact thc sccnes ttrat strehad watched them so often perform. Munster, who would crawl alonsthe rafters and drop chuckling into the middle of the floo. il; ;io;-;?clust and then bow to Fuchsia before turning and searching for hisfarr,ef of bright gold.. Or thc Rain Man, who-moved a*uy""*iih iri.hcad Iowered and his hands clasped behind him and who had but to lifthis cyelid to quell the tiger thar ibllowed him on a chain.

These and the dramas in which they took part wcre now latent in theroom below her, but Fuchsia p'assed the high-backed chair where shewould sit at the verand.ah edge, pulled ba& the door

"rr"fril/ on-iisone hinge, and entered into the third of the three rooms.

6z Titus Groan

Shc put her bundle upon a table in one corner, went to the windowand pushed open the two shutters. Her stocking was half-way dowri herleg again and she knottcd the string more firmly round her thigh. It wasoften her habit in this room to think aloud to herselfl, To argue withherselfl, Looking down from her little window upon the rooft of thccasdc and its adjacent buildings she tasted the pleasure ofher isolation.'I am alone,' she said, her chin in her hands and her elbows on the sill.'I am quite alone, Iike I enjoy it. Now I can think for there's no one toprovoke me here. Not in rny room. No one to tell me what I ought to do.because I'm a Lady, Oh no. t do just what I like here. Fuchsia is quitealright here. None of them knows wherc I go to. Flay docsn't know.Father doesn't know. Mother doesn't know. Nonc of them knows. EvenNannic doesn't know. Only I know. I know where I go. I go hcre. Thisis where I go, Up the stairs and into my lumber room. Through mylumber room and into my acting room, All across my acting room andup the ladder and on to my verandah. Through the door and into mysecret attic. And herc it is I am. I am here now. I have becn here lotsof times but that is in the past. That is over, but now I'm hc.re it's in theprc$ent. This is the present. I'm looking on the roofs ofthe prqscnt andI'm leaning on thc present window-Eill and fater on when ['m older Iwill lean on thi$ window-sill again. Over and over again,

'Now ,I'll makc myself comfortable and eat my breakfast,' shecontinucd to herself, but as sh6 turned away her quick eyes noticed inthe corner of one of the diminishcd quadrangles far below her anunusually large gathering of what she could just make out to be servantsfrom the kitchcn quarters, She was so used to the panorama below herbeing dcserted at that hour in the morning, the menials being.at theirmultifarious duties about the castle that she turned suddenly,back tothe window and stared down with a sense of suspicion and aimost offear. What was it that quickened her to a sensc of something irrcparable ,

having been done? To an outsider there would have been nothinguntoward or extraordinpry in the fact that a group had gatheredhundreds offeet below in the corner ofa sunny stonc quadrangle, butFuchsia born and bred to thc iron ritud of Gormenghast knew thatsomething unprccedcnted was afoot. $he stared, and as she stared thegroup.grew. It was cnough to throw Fuchsia out of her mood and tomake her uneasy and angry. :

'Something has happened,' she said, 'something no one's told me of.They haven't told me. I don't likc thcm.. I don't like any of them. Whatare they all doing like a lot of ants down there? Why arcn't thcy workinglike they should be?' Shc turned around and faced her little room.

Everything was changed., she picked up one of the pears and bit apiece out of it abstractedly. She had looked forward to a morning ofrumination and perhaps a play or two in the empty attic before she

Titus Groan 69

climbed down the stairs again to demand a big tea from Mrs Slagg.There. was something portcnrous in the group flr below hcr. Her jaywas disruptcd.

$he looked around at the walls of her room. They were, hung withpictures once chosen as her favourites from among tLe scores tliat shehad unearthed in the lumber room. One wall wa-s filled with a greatmountain scenc where a road like a snake winding arounil and ar6undthe-most impressive of cragq was filled with two irrnies, onc in yellowand the other, t}re invading force battling up from below, in purpie. Litas it were by torch-light the whole scenC was a constant source ofwonder to Fuchsia, ycr this morning she gazcd at it blankly. The otherwalls were less imposingly arranged, fifteen pictures being distributedlmong the three. The head of a jaguar; a portrait of the twenty-secondEarl of Groan with pure whitc hair and a-face the colour of smoke as arcsult of immoderate tattooing, and a group of children in pink andwtrite muslin dresser pl?yllg with a viper weie among the woils whichplgascd her most. Hundreds of very dull heads and fir-il-length portraitsof her ancestors had been left in the lumber room. What-Fuchgiawanted-from a picture was something unexpected. [t was as thou$h shee13oye{ the artist telling hcr-something quiic fresh and new. Somcthingshe had ncvcr thought ofbefore.

_ A great writhing root, long since dragged from the woods ofGormenghast mountain, stood in the centre of the room. It had" beenpolishcd'to a rare gloss, its every wrinkle glcaming. Fuchsia flungherself down on the most imposing article in the roomfa couch of fadedsplendour and suavity of contour in which the angles of Fuchsia,s bodyas she lay in a half sprawl w6re thrown out with uncompromisingseverity. Her cycs which, since she had entcrcd the attic, had taken onthe calm expression so alien to her, wcre now smouldering again, Theymoved about the room- as though they werc seeking in vain a restingplace, but neither the fantastic root, nor thc ingenious patterns in th;carpct below her had the powcr to hold them.

, 'Everything's wrong. Everything. Everything,' said fuchsia. Againshe went to the window and peered down at the group in the quadrangle.By now it had groryn until it filled all rhat was visible of the stonesquare. Through a flying buttress to the left of her she could commanda view of four distant alleys in a poor district of Gormenghast. These ,alley-ways were pranked with little knots of folk, and Fuchsia believedthat she could hear the far sound oftheir voices rising through the air.It was not that Fuchsia felt any particular intercst in 'occasions' orfestivjties which might cause excitement bclow, but that this morningshe felt agutely awarc that something in which she would becomeinvolved was taking place.

On the table lay a big coloured.book of verses and pictures. It was

64 Titus Groan

always ready for her to open and devour. Fuchsia would turn over thepages and read the yerses aloud in a deep dramatic voice. This morningshe leaned forward and turned over the pages listlessly. As shc cameupon a great favourite she paused and read it through slowly, but herthoughts werc elsewhere.

Titas Groan , 65

In the speed ofthe lingering light are blowaThe cnrmbs to the hake ibove,

'

And thc tropical air vibrates to the droncOfa cake in the throes of love.

she endcd the final verse- with a rush, taking in nothing at all of itsmeaning.

-Ar th. qnded the last line mechan'lcally, she -found

herselfgetting to her fee-t ahd making for thc door. Her bundle was left behind,open, but, savc fot the pear, untouched on the tablc. $he found herselionthe balcony and lowering herself down the ladder was in rhe emptvattic and within a fcw rnoments had reachcd the head of tire siairJ ii:the lumber room. As she descendcd the spiral staircase her thoughtsWere turning over and over,

'What have they done? Whai have they donc?, And it was in aprecipitous mood that she entered her room and ran to the cornerwhcre, qatghing iold .of the pigtail bcll-rope she pulled it as though towrench it from the ceiling.

- Within a few moments Mrs Slagg came running up to the door, herslippered feet scraping along unevenly on thc ioorboards. Fuihsiaopened the door to her and ls soon as the poor old head appearedaround the panels,-shc glputcd at it, .What's happening Nannie, what,s ".happcning-down there? Tell mc at once, Nannii, or I-won,t love you.Tell me, tell me.'

'Quiet, my caution, quiet,'said Mrs Slagg. ,What's all the bothir, myconscience! oh my poor heart. You'll be thJdeath of me.,

'You must tell me, Nannie. Now! now! or I,ll hit your, said Fuchsia.From so small a beginning of suspicion Fuchsia;s fears had grown

until now, convinced by a mounting intuition, she was almost in thepoint of striking_her old nursc, whom she loved so desperately. NannieSlagg took hold of Fuchsia's hand betwecn eight old fingers andsqueczed it.

'A little.brother for you,-my pretty. Now ,irra,r a surprise to quietenyou;

.a little brothar. Just likc you, my ugly darling - born in tfo lap-

sury.''No!' shouted Fuchsia, the blood rushing to her chcek. ,No! no! I

]{91't h1v! it. Oh no, ng, no! I won,t! I won,t! lt musln't be, it mlstn'tbe!' And Fuchsia flingiiig hcrself to the floor burst into a passion oftears,

THE FRIVOLOUS CAKE

A freckled and ilrivolous cake thcrc wasThat sailed on a pointlcss sea,

Or any lugubrious lake there wasIn a manncr cmphatic and.free.

How jointlcssly, and how jointlesslyThe frivolous cake sailed by

On the waves of thc ocean that pointlcsolyThrcw fish to thc lilac sky.

Oh, plenty and plenty of hake therc wasOf a glory beyond comparc,

And every conceivable make there wasWas tossed through the lilac air.

Up the smooth billows and over the crestsOf the cumbersome combers flew

The frivolous cake with a knife in the wakcOfhcrsclfand her curranty crcw.

Like a sr,vordfish grim it would bbunce and skim(This dinner knifc ficrce and blue),

And the frivolous cake was filled to the brimWith thc fun of her curranty crew,

Oh, plcnty and plenty of hake therc wasOf a glory beyond compare -

And wery conceivabk make there wasWas tossed through the lilac air.

Around the shorci of thc Elcgant IslesWheie the cat-fiBh bask and purr

And liek their paws with adhcsive smilesAnd wriggle their fins of fur,

Thcy fly and fly 'ncatfr the lilac sky -The frivoloue cakc, and the knifo

Who winketh his glamorous indigo eyeIn the wake of his future wife.

Thc crumbs blow free down the pointlees seaTo the beat ofa cakey heart

And the scnsitive steel ofthe knifc can feelThat love is a race apart.