STORY

TRANSFORMATIVE

POWEROF TELLIN

GYOUR

THE

Why Mark Matousek

wants you to tell

the truth

By MalloryHerrmann

STORY

TRANSFORMATIVE

POWEROF TELLIN

GWhy Mark

Matousek

wants you to tell

the truth

I’d had 10 years of therapy but learned more through a two-day writing workshop.

Mark Matousek did not expect to become a teacher. It had not been part of his planned path. In fact, when he was offered an opportunity to teach during the Manhattanville College Writers’

Week in New York a decade ago, he was not even sure what he was going to do when he accepted the invitation.

Still, after just one teaching experience, he was hooked. Twelve years later, his unexpected foray into teaching has become the most transformative turn in his career, and it has allowed him to share the revelation of writing to awaken with thousands of students.

Challenge the Narra tiveMatousek knows the power of writing. A former editor at Andy

Warhol’s Interview Magazine, he worked with Sogyal Rinpoche on The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (Harper San Francisco, 1992), collaborated with Andrew Harvey on Dialogues with a Modern Mystic (Theosophical Publishing House, 1994), and was coeditor with Marlene Roeder of Ram Dass’ Still Here (Riverhead Books, 2000). He’s also written several books of his own, the most recent being Mother of the Unseen World: The Mystery of Mother Meera (Spiegel & Grau, 2017) and Writing to Awaken: A Journey of Truth, Transformation & Self-Discovery (Reveal Press, 2017). While contributing editor to Common Boundary magazine, he wrote an exposé about incest (“America’s Darkest Secret”) that was nominated for a 1992 National Magazine Award.

Matousek has seen firsthand how the writing process can be a means of self-discovery, a spiritual practice, and a journey of transformation. Asking hard questions and challenging the narrative you have created for yourself (or that someone else has created for you) can crack your stories open, he explains. This is not easy—and can be quite painful—but in the end, he assures, it’s a chance to find enlightenment.

“I’d had 10 years of therapy,” he says, “but learned more through a two-day writing workshop.”

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Often, the stories we question least are the ones that are most likely to drive our outlook on life, our feelings about ourselves and the world, and even the choices we make, Matousek explains. We may find that our growth feels stunted because sometimes those narratives that we hold so closely are at odds with our goals. But the good news, he teaches, is that the truth is there waiting for us; we just need to be committed to uncovering it.

In Writing to Awaken, Matousek calls writing an invitation to tell the truth. “There are treasures hidden in the shadows and finding them is part of this journey,” he writes. If we insist on keeping our secrets, on maintaining the narratives that we have always told ourselves, then we miss the chance in front of us for healing and growth.

In the days of social media profiles and online brand management, this process can become even stickier. Matousek says the heart of the tendency to create an acceptable social profile is old—something humans have been doing for as long as we have been socialized animals—but today we spend increasingly more time crafting an avatar to serve as an advertisement for ourselves. That is, while it’s a natural human tendency to present our chosen persona and conceal the rest, we have much to gain by sharing what Matousek calls the “unauthorized version” (the one we would tell in the privacy of our therapist’s office).

Tell the Truth“If you tell the truth, to the best of your ability (and

I’m talking about human, messy, changeable truth—not ‘capital T’ absolute truth), and if you are willing to be honest, you can heal and grow at a rate that you may

not have thought was possible for you,” he says. “Writing is an unparalleled tool for self-discovery because, unlike with a therapist, you can reread it and become your own witness.” This is how you can notice what you are leaving out and observe where you are telling only half the story. You can also work backward, he suggests, using writing to find who you are not and then tuning in to what those revelations mean for the narrative you have.

He calls this process a self-investigation and says it is an opportunity to tell your stories by asking, “Who am I?” That, after all, is the foundational question of many spiritual practices. Writing this way also gives you permission to ask the questions you can’t (or don’t) ask in polite society, creating space to be unapologetically honest and transparent with yourself. It encourages you to look for the story that’s inside the situation—not just stopping with the facts of where you were or who was there. Investigating your own omissions, interpretations, biases, and representations can help you move closer to the truth.

“I’m all about using writing to strip away the false narratives, to reveal the true story underneath,” he says. “That’s where the power and the personal shifts come from.” This is the mind-set that has helped Matousek

Writing as a Spiri tual Practice: The Healing Power of Telling Your StoryMark Matousek is hosting a transformational weekend

workshop at Unity Village focusing on storytelling, exploring the psychological shadow, and developing an ongoing writing practice. During this three-day event (March 12–15, 2020), he will guide participants through a process of self-inquiry designed to deepen insight, heal obsolete narratives, and hone the writer’s craft in an intimate and welcoming atmosphere. For more information or to register, visit markmatousek.com/writing-workshops/writing-to-awaken-at-unity-village.

Writing is an unparalleled tool for self-discovery because, unlike with a therapist, you can reread it and become your own witness.

a note to our readers

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pursue his own personal awakening through writing and now provides a framework for the lessons he teaches students worldwide.

Keep SeekingOf course, maintaining the seeker’s mind-set can

sometimes be harder than it looks. Our egos are designed to protect us from change and to defend our comfortable narratives from any perceived threat. Through resistance, narcissism, self-doubt, guilt, shame, and fear of humiliation, our ego creates obstacles that can make the writing process more difficult. In Writing to Awaken, Matousek calls these the “demons at the gate.” They are the adversaries that each of us will have to confront. However, if we stay committed to truth, we can challenge and dissolve these demons through writing and through the seeker’s mind-set—and find our real story.

Matousek’s own seeker mind-set extends beyond his own writing to the Seekers Forum, a free membership community that connects people worldwide to have conversations in real time (visit markmatousek.com/the-seekers-forum). Participants are devoted to asking and exploring life’s big (and small) spiritual questions, meeting via teleconference for monthly talks and question-and-answer sessions. Matousek says the program is a labor of love and a moving example of how thinking, writing, and talking through such questions can create possibilities for connection and growth.

When he started the experiment in 2013, he was surprised and delighted to find hundreds of individuals around the world who were just as curious as he was about questions of philosophy, meaning, and living a good life. It has become a valued place for a group of friends to talk about seeking insights, engaging spiritual awareness, and pursuing personal growth and healing.

Find Transforma tionThat sense of community is reflected in Matousek’s

courses and workshops, designed to help anyone who calls themselves a seeker or who wants to learn to uncover their own truth and create healing through writing—whether for personal awakening or publication (or both). He

currently serves on the faculty at the New York Open Center and the Omega Institute, and he also teaches regularly at Esalen, Hollyhock, the Rowe Center, and 1440 Multiversity.

During both in-person and online sessions, Matousek says the best advice he can give is to remember that it is not about creating perfect prose on the first draft; it is about becoming the person who can do the writing. That is the transformation we each make during the process.

Many people, Matousek says, focus on the language of sentences instead of the language of truth. Even many writing instructors will emphasize style and technique with their students instead of focusing on finding the authentic story. But he suggests that this is missing the forest for the trees because it can allow the words on the page to conceal—rather than reveal—the emotional truth of the story.

“A powerful story is not just beautiful writing,” he says. “Tell the truth first—then work on the syntax.”

Matousek also reminds writers that sometimes we all get stuck and that is okay. It can be easy to lose focus, particularly when your writing is competing with work, relationships, media, and busy schedules. Making writing a priority helps because the practice can be a reminder of what really matters in life. Done consistently, such a practice can also benefit physical, mental, and emotional health. He also believes that those who treasure writing should read every day to connect with spiritual masters and continue tuning in to this great inquiry.

“Beyond this mundane world, there is a whole connection of depth and soul and meaning and poignancy,” he says. “It’s easy to forget about when we get caught up in the superficial rush of everyday life.”

Matousek has cultivated his own writing practice throughout more than 40 years, since he began journaling as a kid, and he says that it has become a form of emotional and spiritual hygiene. In fact, he says he does not feel quite clear until he has spent at least 15 or 20 minutes of his day writing.

After all, Matousek explains, “When you tell the truth, your story changes. When your story changes, your life is transformed.”

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