Meditations6DhammaTalks

by

ThanissaroBhikkhu(GeoffreyDeGraff)

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copyright2014ThanissaroBhikkhuThisworkislicensedundertheCreativeCommonsAttribution-NonCommercial3.0Unported.Toseeacopyofthislicensevisithttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/.“Commercial”shallmeananysale,whetherforcommercialornon-profitpurposesorentities.

questionsmaybeaddressedto:MettaForestMonasteryValleyCenter,CA92082-1409U.S.A.

additionalresourcesMoreDhammatalks,booksandtranslationsbyThanissaroBhikkhuareavailabletodownloadindigitalaudioandvariousebookformatsatdhammatalks.organdaccesstoinsight.org.

printedcopyApaperbackcopyofthisbookisavailablefreeofcharge.Torequestonewriteto:BookRequest,MettaForestMonastery,POBox1409,ValleyCenter,CA92082USA.

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Introduction

ThedailyscheduleatMettaForestMonasteryincludesagroupinterviewinthelateafternoonandachantingsessionfollowedbyagroupmeditationperiodlaterintheevening.TheDhammatalksincludedinthisvolumeweregivenduringtheeveningmeditationsessions,andinmanycasescoveredissuesraisedattheinterviews—eitherinthequestionsaskedorlurkingbehindthequestions.Oftentheseissuestouchedonavarietyoftopicsonavarietyofdifferentlevelsinthepractice.Thisexplainstherangeoftopicscoveredinindividualtalks.

Ihaveeditedthetalkswithaneyetomakingthemreadablewhileatthesametimetryingtopreservesomeoftheflavorofthespokenword.InafewinstancesIhaveaddedpassagesorrearrangedthetalkstomakethetreatmentofspecifictopicsmorecoherentandcomplete,butforthemostpartIhavekepttheeditingtoaminimum.Don’texpectpolishedessays.

Thepeoplelisteningtothesetalkswerefamiliarwiththemeditationinstructionsincludedin“Method2”inKeepingtheBreathinMindbyAjaanLeeDhammadharo;andmyownessay,“AGuidedMeditation.”Ifyouarenotfamiliarwiththeseinstructions,youmightwanttoreadthroughthembeforereadingthetalksinthisbook.YoumightalsowanttoreadthemeditationinstructionsinWithEach&EveryBreathforfurtherbackground.AdditionalDhammatalksareavailableatwww.accesstoinsight.organdwww.dhammatalks.org.

***Aswiththepreviousvolumesinthisseries,IwouldliketothankBokLim

Kimformakingtherecordingofthesetalkspossible.She,morethananyoneelse,isresponsibleforovercomingmyinitialreluctancetohavethetalksrecorded.Iwouldalsoliketothankthefollowingpeoplefortranscribingthetalksand/orhelpingtoeditthetranscriptions:KathyForsythe,MarilynLemon,JeffreyMiller,AddieOnsanit,NathanielOsgood,XiaoQuanOsgood,BarbaraPereira,RobertRand,andIsabellaTrauttmansdorff;Vens.AtthaññuBhikkhu,BalaggoBhikkhu,KhemattoBhikkhu,KusaliBhikkhu,andVijjakaroBhikkhu.Maytheyallbehappy.

ThanissaroBhikkhuMETTAFORESTMONASTERY

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JANUARY,2014

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AConnoisseurofHappinessJanuary5,2010

Acoupleofyearsback,IgotaphonecallfromafriendwhohadattendedaDhammatalkwheretheteacherhadsaidthat“lifeissuffering”isthesecondnobletruth.Thefriendcalleduptoscoffattheteacher,sayingthat,ofcourse,everyoneknowsthatthat’snotthesecondnobletruth,that’sthefirstnobletruth.AndIhadtotellhimthatitwasn’tanynobletruth.TheBuddhaneversaidthatlifeissuffering.Hesaidthereissufferinginlife.Thatwashisfirstnobletruth.Andheidentifiedwhatthatsufferingis,buthewentontosaythatthereisacauseforsufferingthatyoucanabandon,andthereisapathtotheendofsufferingthatyoucandevelop,sothatyoucanreachtheendofsuffering,allofwhichcanbefoundinlife.

Solifeisn’tjustsuffering.It’simportanttounderlinethatpoint,becausesomanypeoplemisunderstandtheBuddha’sattitudetowardhappinessandsuffering.Justthislastweekend,IheardsomeonesayingthattheBuddha’sbasicteachingsarethatallthingsareinconstantandallthingsaresuffering.That’snotthecase,either.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,iftherewerenopleasureinthefiveaggregates,wewouldn’tbeattachedtothem.Theydoofferpleasure.Andweneedtounderstandthedifferentkindsofpleasuretheyoffer,sowecanusethatpleasureasameanstothehighesthappinessorthehighestpleasure:nibbana.

ThePaliwordforpleasureandhappinessissukha.It’soneoftheBuddha’smostbasicterms,and—asissooftenthecasewiththemostcentraltermsintheBuddha’steachings—hedoesn’tdefineit.Sukhacanbetranslatedasbliss,pleasure,ease,wellbeing,orhappiness.WhattheBuddhadoesdescribeindetailarethedifferentlevelsofsukhaandthedifferentwaysthatsukhafunctions.Inotherwords,hedescribeswhat’spracticaltoknowaboutsukhasothatyoucanknowwhichkindsofsukhatopursueandwhichtoavoid.

Ithinkoneofthereasonshedoesn’tdefinesukhaisbecause,asyoupractice,yoursenseofwhatcountsashappinessisgoingtodevelopandgetmorerefined.Soit’simportantthatyourideaofhappinessdoesn’tgetnaileddowntootightlywhenyou’restartingout.

TheBuddha’sownsearchwasasearchfortruehappiness,ahappinessthatdoesn’tage,growill,ordie.That’swhathewaslookingfor.Afterhavingspentyearsindulgingintheintensesensualpleasuresofthepalace,hedidwhatso

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manypeopledowhentheyhavebeenindulginginsensualpleasurethatway:Hewenttotheotherextremeandpracticedausterities—inhiscase,forsixyears.Hedeniedhimselffood,forcedhimselfnottobreathe,andgrewveryemaciatedbecausehewasafraidofpleasure.Oneofthemostimportantinsightsofthatperiod,though,wasthatdenyingyourselfanykindofpleasureatallisnottheway.Itdoesn’tleadtoliberation.

Sothenthequestionaroseinhismind:Isthereanotherway?Andhethoughtofthetimewhenhewasachild,sittingunderatree,andhadenteredthefirstjhana:raptureandpleasurebornofseclusion,accompaniedbydirectedthoughtandevaluation.Recollectingthat,hehadaninstinctivesensethatthatwouldbethepath,butthenheaskedhimself:“WhyamIafraidofthatpleasure?”Andherealizeditwasnothingtobeafraidof.Itwasn’tintoxicating;itdidn’tcauseanyharmtoanyone.

Thosearethetwodefiningaspectsofanypleasurethat’sunskillful:It’sharmfulandit’sintoxicating.Weseesomanypleasuresinlifethatinvolveoppressingotherpeople.Thepeopleenjoyingthosepleasuresmaynotbeconsciousofthefactthatthey’recausingoppressionorhardship.Towhateverextenttheydonotice,they’lloftenclosetheirmindstoitanddenythatit’scausinganybodyanyharm—orifitiscausingsomebodyharm,it’scausingharmtopeopleorbeingswhodon’tmatter.Thatattitudeisoneofthethingsthatmakesthatpleasureunskillful.Notonlydoesitharmotherpeople,butitalsofostersunskillfulqualitiesofindifferenceandlackofshame.

Intoxicatingpleasureisthekindthatdullsthemindsoyoucan’treallyseewhatyou’redoing.Themostobviousexamplesofthissortofpleasurearethosethatcomefromalcoholanddrugs,butthereareotherintoxicatingpleasuresaswell.Anythingthatexcitesaverystrongaddiction,thatdullsthemind,dullsyourperceptions:That’sakindofpleasuretobeavoided.

Thepleasureofjhana,though,isneitherharmfulnorintoxicating.SometimesmodernDhammateacherswillwarnyouaboutthedangersofgettingattachedtothepleasuresofjhana,thatsomehowthey’reamajorperiltobeavoidedandfeared,buttheBuddhanevertalkedinthoseterms.Quitethecontrary:Hesaidthatifyoudon’thavethepleasureofjhanaorsomethingbetterthanthat,youwon’tbeabletoletgoofyourattachmentstosensualpleasures.

Toletgoofalower-levelpleasure,youneedsomethinghighertoholdonto,somethingtosubstituteforit.Otherwise,yougosneakingbacktoyouroldways,denyingthefactthatyou’redoingthat.Oryougrowattachedtoyourpridethatyou’resostrong,soresilient,andsotoughinthepracticethatyoudon’tneedpleasure—butthenthatpridebecomesamajorobstacletoseeingwherethemindisactuallylookingtofeed.AstheBuddhasaid,thepleasureofjhanaisanecessarypartofthepractice.It’sthekindofhappinessthatallowsyoutohavea

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senseofwellbeing,asenseofnourishmentalongtheway,andyetkeepsthemindclearsothatitseeswhatit’sdoing.

TheBuddhaactuallytalksofjhanaintermsoffood.Hesayswefeedonrapturewhenwemeditate.Andhedescribesjhanaasastorehouseofprovisions.Hecomparesthepracticeasawholetobuildingandmaintainingafortressonafrontier.Mindfulnessisthegatekeeperwhoknowswhomtoletinandwhomtokeepout.Discernmentisthewell-plasteredwallthattheenemycan’tclimbbecausetheycan’tgainafootholdontheplaster.Persistenceisyourarmyofsoldiers.Andjhanaisyourstorehouseofgrain,honey,oil:allthefoodyouneedinordertokeepthegatekeeperandthearmystrong.Sothepleasureofjhanaisanecessarypartofthepractice.Itkeepsyounourished.

Asforthedangerofgettingattachedtothatnourishment,IcanfindonlyonepassageintheCanonwheretheBuddhatalksaboutthedangerofjhana,andit’srelativelyminor.Hesaysthatonceyoucanattainjhanaandyoudecideyoudon’twanttogoanyfurther,it’slikeholdingastickcoveredwithsap,andyourhandgetsstucktothestickbecauseofthesap.Butjhanadoesn’tmakeitimpossibletogetunstuck.Infact,youneedthestillnessofjhanatolookobjectivelyatthepleasuresyou’vebeenattachedtosofarinyourlife,toseethatthey’renomatchforthepleasuresofconcentration.Onlythenareyouencouragedtoaskyourself:Arethereanydrawbackstothisstateofconcentration?Istheresomethingbetterthanthis?Thatreflectionbecomesasolventthatremovesthesapfromyourhands.

Inanyevent,Idon’tknowanyonewho’skilledanyone,stolenanything,orbrokenanyoftheotherpreceptsthroughattachmenttojhana.Butyoulookatthewaypeopleareattachedtosensualpleasures:It’sthesourceforalotofthecruelty,heartlessness,andthoughtlessnessintheworld,alltheharmthatpeoplecauseoneanother.Ifyou’renotattachedtothepleasureofjhana,ifyoudon’thavethatavailable,you’regoingtosneakbacktothetypesofpleasurethatcancauseallkindsofharmtoyourselfandtoothers.

Sodon’tbeafraidofthepleasureofjhana.Don’ttrytoavoiditforfearthatyou’llgetstuck.Ofcourseyou’regoingtogetstuck,atleastforawhile,butyou’restuckonthekindofpleasurethatallowsyoutoclarifythemind.Thatwayyoucanbegintoseewhat’sgoingon,whereyou’restuck,andhowtogetunstuck.Thisisanimportantpartofnoblerightconcentration:notsimplythatyougetintothedifferentlevelsofjhana,butthatthemindcanthenstepbackwhileyou’reinthejhanatoexaminethestateofjhanawhileyou’restillwithinitsrange.TheBuddhagivestheanalogyofapersonsittingwho’swatchingsomeonewho’slyingdown,orapersonstandingwho’swatchingsomeonesitting.Inotherwords,you’reaboveandbehindyourownstateofconcentration,andyoucanseewhat’sgoingon.

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Oryoucouldcompareittohavingyourhandinaglove:Whenyou’refullyinthegloveofjhana,youcan’tobserveit.Butwhenyoupullthegloveoffabit,withouttotallyremovingitfromyourhand,youcanlookaroundatthemindinsidetheglove.Thatwayyouthoroughlycomprehendhowthemindrelatestoitsobject,whichgivesyouinsightintotheprocessoffabrication.

Thisiswherefabricationbecomesclearest:whenyou’reinastateofstrongconcentrationandyoucanseethemovementsofthemindveryclearly.Ultimately,youreachthepointwhereyoudecidethateventhepleasureofjhanaisnotpleasantenough;it’snotpeacefulenough,becauseoftheinstabilitiesoffabrication.Youwantsomethingmorepeaceful,somethingmoresolidthanfabricationcanmake.

Soit’snotthatyoustopaimingathappinessandpleasure.It’sjustthatyourideaofhappinessandpleasuregetsmorerefined.Thisiswhenyoucanletgoofthejhanaand,throughinsightintotheprocessoffabrication,allowthefabricationtostop.Younolongertrytofabricateanythingoutofwhatyou’vegotinthepresentmoment.That’swhenthemindopensupinanunexpectedwaytosomethingthat’snotfabricated.Andtherealizationhits:thatwhentheBuddhasaidthereisadeathlesshappiness,heknewwhathewastalkingabout.You’vegotyourevidencerighthere.Youseeveryclearlythestressthat’sinvolvedeveninthefabricationofaverysubtlepleasureofconcentration,becauseyou’vegotsomethingbetter,theunfabricated,tocompareitto.

SotheBuddhaisnotteachingyoutobeastoicwithastiffupperlip,denyingyourselfanypleasureorhappiness.Hehimselfwasactuallyaconnoisseurofpleasure.Hewantedonlythehighesthappiness.Andhefoundit.Asforus,hewantsustowantonlythehighesthappiness,andtopracticesowecanfindit,too.Hedidn’tsaythatpleasureisbadorthatnumbnessisgood,buthedidsaythatdifferentlevelsofpleasurehavedifferenteffectsonthemind.Youwanttolookatthepleasureyoufindindifferentaspectsofyourlifetoseewhichkindsofpleasureareharmfulandintoxicating,andwhichoneshelptoclearthemind.Theonesthatclearthemindincludenotonlythepleasureofconcentration,butalsothepleasureofgenerosityandthepleasureofobservingtheprecepts.TheBuddhatalksabouthowthepracticeofgenerosityandthepreceptsgivesrisetoasenseofjoy,asenseofwellbeing,thatthenbecomesabasisforconcentration.

Fromthere,youdevelopthemorerefinedlevelsofpleasurethatcomewithconcentration.Asthemindgrowsclearerandclearer,yougettotheultimatepleasure,onetotallyfreefromdisturbance,becauseitliesoutsideofspaceandtime.

Yearsback,IattendedacommemorationforAjaanLee’spassing.ItwasthelastcommemorationIattendedbeforeIreturnedtotheStates.TheyhadinvitedaseniormonkfromBangkoktogivetheconcludingDhammatalkofthe

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commemoration,butabout15minutesbeforehewasscheduledtogetupontheDhammaseat,hestillhadn’tarrived.Theygotaphonecallfromhim,thathewasstuckintrafficandwouldn’tbeabletomakeitintime.Sotheyaskedoneoftheforestajaanstogetupandgiveatalkinstead.HistalkwasabouthowthecentralteachingoftheBuddhawasaboutsufferingandstress.Hetalkedforanhouraboutthefournobletruths,withhismajorfocusonthetruthofsuffering,suffering,suffering.Justafewminutesafterhehadfinished,theseniormonkfromBangkokfinallyarrived.Sotheyaskedhimtogetuponthesermonseatandgiveatalk,too.Hehadn’theardwhattheprevioustalkwas.HegotupandhesaidtheBuddha’scentralteachingwasallabouthappiness.

Andyouknow,bothwereright.TheBuddhatalkedaboutsufferingbecausehewantedustoseethesufferingwetendnottosee,sowecanlookforahigherhappiness,andnotjustforthekindofhappinesswithwhichwetendtocontentourselves.

SowhentheBuddhatalkedaboutdukkha,sufferingorstress,hewasn’tjustsayingthatlifeismiserableandallyoucandoisacceptthefact.Hewassayingthatthereissufferingbutitdoesn’thavetobethere.There’sthesufferingofthethreecharacteristics,whichisinherentinfabricatedthings.Butontopofthatisthesufferinginthefournobletruths,whichiscausedbycravingandclinging.Thatkindofsufferingyoucanputanendto.Andwhenyouputanendtoit,thesufferingofthethreecharacteristicsnolongerweighsonthemindbecauseyou’vefoundsomethingthatliesbeyondwhat’sfabricated.

SotheBuddhatalkedaboutsufferingforthesakeofhappiness,forthesakeoftruehappiness.Hewaslikeadoctor.Whenyougotoseethedoctorandheasksyou,“Okay,what’swrong?Wheredoesithurt?”he’snotbeingpessimistic.Hefocusesonyourillnessbecausehehasacure.TheBuddhadescribedhimselfasadoctor.Hefocusedonstressandsufferingbecausehehadacure,leadingtothehealthoftruehappiness.

Alwayskeepthispointinmindasyoupractice.We’renotheretorunawayfrompleasure.We’reheretoseewhatpleasurereallyis,andbecomeconnoisseursofpleasure,distinguishingbetweenwhichkindofpleasure,whenyouindulgeinit,hasharmfulresults,andwhichkindofpleasure,whenyouindulgeinit,becomespartofthepath—sothatyoucanfindtheultimatepleasurethatdoesn’trequireindulgenceatall.It’sjustthere.That’swhatwe’repracticingfor.

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VirtueContainsthePracticeAugust18,2011

There’sapassageintheCanonwhereagroupofmonksaregoingofftoaforeignlandandsotheygotopaytheirrespectstotheBuddha.Heasksthem,“HaveyougonetoseeSariputta?”Theysay,No,theyhaven’t,soherecommendsthattheydo.WhentheypaytheirrespectstoSariputta,heasksthem,“Supposeyoumeetintelligentpeopleinthatforeignlandwhoaskyouwhatyourteacherteaches:Whatareyougoingtotellthem?”Sothemonksaskhimwhathewouldrecommendthattheysay.Thefirstthinghestartsoutwithis,“Ourteacherteachesthesubduingofpassionanddelight.”

Mostofus,ifweheardthatasthefirstthingtheBuddhataught,wouldprobablyrunaway.Welikeourpassion;welikeourdelight.ButnoticethatSariputtastartsoffwithanaction.TheBuddhateachesyousomethingtodo.AsSariputtaexplainsit,ifthepersonasks,“Passionanddelightforwhat?”yousay,“Forthefiveaggregates.”What’sthedangerofhavingthatpassionanddelightforthosethings?It’sthatyousufferastheychange.Andtheadvantageofabandoningthatpassionanddelightisthatyouputanendtothatsuffering.

Soit’sallaboutdoing.TheBuddha’sownfirstteaching—onthenobleeightfoldpath—wasalsoarecommendationonwhattodo.Thismeansthattheteachingstartsoutwithactionasitsbasicprinciple.Actionsarereal.Youchooseyouractions;youcanchangethem.Thoseactionshavelife-shapingconsequences,soyouneedtopayattentiontowhatyou’redoingandtotheconsequencesyou’recreating.

Thisleadstoaseriesofshouldsandshould-nots:actionsyoushoulddoandactionsyoushouldn’tifyouwanttoputanendtosuffering.Theifthereiscrucial.TheBuddha’sshouldsareconditionalinthesensethatifyouwanttoputanendtosuffering,thisiswhatyouhavetodo.He’snotforcinganythingonyou.Butheisgivingyouguidance,andhisguidanceiscategorical,i.e.,trueacrosstheboard.Ashesaid,ournormalreactiontosufferingisbewildermentandasearch.Thebewildermentisthatwedon’tknowwhywe’resuffering.Whyisthishappening?Whatcanwedo?Ifyoudon’tbelieveintheprincipleofhumanaction,youstaybewildered.

Therewerepeoplewho,intheBuddha’stime,taughtthathumanactionispowerless.TheBuddhararelywentoutofhiswaytoseekoutotherpeopleto

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arguewiththem,buthedidgotoarguewiththosewhotaughtdoctrinesthatbasicallyleftyouwithoutanyhopeformakingadifferenceinthepresentmoment—eitherbyteachingthateverythingistheresultofpastactionoreverythingisaresultofthewillofacreatororthateverythingistotallywithoutcause.Thosekindsofteaching,hesaid,leaveyoubewilderedbecausetheyleavenogroundsforashouldorshouldnot.Ifeverythingisdetermined,there’snothingyoucando.Ifthere’snoconnectionbetweencauseandeffect,thennomatterwhatyoudo,youcan’thaveanimpactonanything.You’relost.Youhavenorecoursewhensufferingcomesup.

SotheBuddha’steachingyouwhattodowhenyousuffersothatyou’renolongerbewilderedandyoudon’thavetocontinuesuffering.Andinthatway,histeachingisagift.Aswithanygift,whenyoureceiveit,youwanttomakegooduseofit.Youdon’twanttojustthrowitaway.Youlearntobegratefulforthegenerosityofthepersonwhogaveitandtrytoputittothebestusepossible.

Sowhatisthebestusepossible?Youstartbylookingatyourownactionsbecausethat’swheretheteachingisaimed.Youlookattheresultsoftheactionsyou’redoingrightnowtoseeifthere’sanyconnectionbetweenwhatyou’redoingandthefactthatthere’ssufferinginthemind.

ThisiswhytheBuddhasaysthatuncertaintyisovercomebylookingatskillfulandunskillfulqualitiesinthemind.Tobeginwith,you’refocusingyourattentiononthemostimportantissueinlife,whichiswhatsortofimpactyouractionsarehaving,andparticularlywhatkindofimpactyourmindstatesarehaving.Afterall,thesourceofactionisinthemind.Ifyou’reuncertainaboutdifferentmentalqualities,thenwatch.Trydevelopinggoodwill;trybeinggenerous;tryobservingtheprecepts.Seewhatkindofimpactthesequalitieshaveonyourlife.

Atthesametime,trytodevelopthequalitiesthatallowyoutojudgethesethingsinfairnessandwithaccuracy.Trytobemindful;trytobealert.Mindfulnessiswhatconnectscauseandeffect.Ifyoudon’thaveanymindfulness—i.e.,ifyoucan’trememberwhatyoudid—you’renotgoingtobeabletofigureouthowthisfeelingofpainorthisfeelingofpleasureisrelatedtoactionsyoudidawhilebackandhaveforgottenabout.Soyoutrytokeepinmindwhatyou’vebeendoing.Ifyouseeanysufferingcomingupinyourexperience,trytotraceitback.“Whatactionisthisrelatedto?Whatkindofattitudeisthisrelatedto?”Thefactthatthere’spaininthebodyisanormalpartoflife,butthefactthatthere’sapaininthemindisunnecessary.Itdoesn’thavetobethere.Sowhat’scausingthepaininthemind?Ifyoucantraceitbacktoanaction—physical,verbal,ormental—thenyou’vegotahandleonthings.Youcanendyouruncertainty;youcanendyourbewilderment.

Ofcourse,thisrequiresalertnessaswell:thatyoureallyarepayingattention

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towhatyou’redoing.Alltoomanyofusdon’t.Wegothroughlifejustgoingthroughthemotionswithoutlookingcarefullyatourintentions.Ifyouaskmostpeoplewhytheydidsomething,theyhavetocastbackandoftentheycan’tthinkofwhysotheyinventawhy.Butifyouralertnesswasshakytobeginwith,that“why”isreallyunreliable.Soyoureallywanttobealerttowhatyou’redoing,i.e.,towhatyou’reintendingrightnow.Themorealertyouaretoyouractions,themoreyou’llbeabletorememberwhatyou’vedone.Thisiswhymindfulnessandalertnessgotogether.

ThenyoucombinethesetwoqualitieswiththeBuddha’sshouldsandshouldn’ts.That’swhatardencyisallabout.WhentheBuddhagaveacategoricalteachingaboutskillfulandunskillfulactions,hedidn’tjustsaythatthedistinctionbetweenthetwoisacategoricaltruth.Thecategoricaltruthisthatunskillfulthingsshouldbeabandonedandskillfulthingsshouldbedeveloped.Againthere’sashouldthere.There’sarecommendedcourseofaction.Asyouactuallypursuethatcourseofactionwithasenseofinterest,ofadesiretoknow,that’sardency.You’rebringingallthreeofthesequalitiestogether:mindfulness,alertness,andardency.

Inthebeginning,youdevelopthesequalitiesasyoufollowtheprecepts.ThisisoneofthereasonswhythepreceptscomesoearlyinmanyoftheBuddha’steachings.Inthenobleeightfoldpath,forexample,hetalksaboutrightspeech,rightaction,andrightlivelihoodbeforehetalksaboutmeditation.Inhisgraduateddiscourse,virtuefollowsrightaftergenerosity.Thereasonforthisisthatwhenyou’retryingtodevelopvirtue,youhavetolookatthethingsyou’redoinginyourday-to-daylife.Thisishowyoudevelopyourmindfulnessandalertness.Ifyouseethatyou’recausinganyharm,youtrytodropwhatyou’redoingsoastostopthatharm.That’showyoudevelopardency.Fortunately,theBuddhadoesn’tforceyoutoexperimentwitheverypossiblecourseofaction,toseewhetherornotit’sharmless.Hegivesyouguidance.Hesaysacrosstheboardthatyoudon’twanttokill,youdon’twanttosteal,youdon’twanttohaveillicitsex,youdon’twanttolie,andyoudon’twanttotakeintoxicants.

Thatlastoneisimportantbecause,ashesaid,we’realreadyintoxicatedwithyouth,we’reintoxicatedwithhealth,we’reintoxicatedwithbeauty,we’reintoxicatedwithlife.Themindisalreadydrunk.Youdon’twanttoaddanymoreintoxicationontopofthatbecauseyouwon’tbeabletodevelopthemindfulnessandalertnessyouneedinordertoseethingsclearlyandjudgeyouractionsfairly.

Soyoutrytoholdtothesepreceptsandseewhatimpacttheyhaveonyourlife.That’stheonlywayyou’regoingtocometoanykindofcertainty.Andit’stheonlywayyou’regoingtoleadalifethatprovidesagoodcontainerforthepractice.Youseethissomanytimesonretreatswhenpeoplecomeinoffthestreettospendawholeweekjustbeingwiththeirbreath.Iftheyhaveany

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unskillfulbehaviorintheirpast,it’sgoingtocomeupatsomepointoranotherintheretreat.

Imyselfhaven’tbeentomanymeditationretreatsbutIdorememberoneinparticularwhere,halfwaythroughtheretreat,oneguyjustbrokedownandstartedsobbingdeeplyinthemiddleoftheafternoon.Itwentonforaboutten,fifteenminutes.Ifounditverydisturbing.Buteverybodyelseintheroomwassittingtherequietlyasifnothingwerehappening.Ilearnedlaterthatthisisanormaloccurrenceonretreats.Itturnedoutthisparticularpersonhadbeenacocainedealerandsomeofthestuffthathe’dbeenengagedinwhilesellingcocainewascomingupinhisawareness.

Iwasalsotoldthatthishappensonmodernmeditationretreatsallthetime:Peoplecomeinwithnobackgroundinvirtue,andthestillnessoftheretreatprovidesaspacefortheirremorsetosuddenlyerupt.Thismayprovideamomentofcatharsis,butnotmuchmore.Ifyouhavebigwoundsinyourlifecausedbyyourmisbehavior,it’sverydifficultforthemindtosettledownandreallybemindfulandalertwithenoughstabilitytoseethingsasthey’reactuallyhappeningandtodirectyourattentioninawisedirection.

Sotheprincipleofvirtueisveryimportant,bothasacontainerforthepracticeandasbasictraininginmindfulness,alertness,andardency.Thesearethequalitiesthateventuallyyou’regoingtobringtothebodyinandofitself,orfeelingsormindstatesormentalqualitiesinandofthemselves.Buttocometothoseframesofreferencewithanysolidity,youneedtohavepracticewiththesethreequalitiesinyourdailylife.Soremembertostickbythepreceptsandwatchoveryourbehavior.Bealerttoseewhenyoumightbebreakingaprecept.Ifyoufeelanytemptationtobreakit,developthequalityofardency,tryingtofigureouthownotto.

Mostoftentheproblemisthatagoodhalfofthemindwantstobreaktheprecept.SoeventhoughtherearelotsofskillsthattheBuddharecommendsforholdingtotheprecepts—learninghowtosayNotoourgreed,Notoouranger,Notoourdelusion—weapplythoseteachingsinonlyahalf-heartedway.ThenwesaythattheBuddha’srecommendationsarenotworking,sowegoandgiveintothetemptation.Buttheactualproblemisthatwehaven’tgiventheteachingsafairchance.Andtheresultofthishalf-heartednessisthatwestayhalf-mindedandbewildered.Wewonder:IstheBuddhareallyrightaboutskillfulbehavior?Ifyoutrytobehaveskillfullyandallyoudoisfindyourselfgettingreallytenseaboutit,isitreallyallthatskillful?

Well,therealquestionis:Whyareyougettingtense?Isthisthemind’swayoflookingforanexcusenottostickwithskillfulbehavior?Therearewaysofstickingwiththepreceptsandstayingperfectlyrelaxedaroundthem.Afterall,themindisinastateofnormalcywhenit’snotkilling,notstealing,notengaging

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inalltheseotherunskillfulformsofbehavior.Sowhyareyoutenseinrefrainingfromtheseactions?Areyoutryingtomakethemunattractivetoyourself?It’sonlywhenyou’rereallytruewithyourselfthatyou’regoingtoseethetruth,andthisiswhatitcomesdownto.

AjaanLeemadethispointmanytimes,asdidAjaanFuang.Thereasonwe’reuncertainisbecausewe’renotlookingtrulyatwhatwe’redoing.Therearethingswehidefromourselves,thingswe’vedonethatwedon’twanttoadmittoourselves.We’veactedonintentionsthatwedon’tliketoownupto.Thisiswhatkeepsusbewildered.Theonlywayoutofthisbewildermentistofinallyadmittoourselvesthat,yeah,wearecausingsuffering.Thisiswhatwekeeprunningupagainst.There’ssufferinggoingonandit’srelatedtoourbehavior.Youwanttolearntogetpastallthementalsubterfugesandelaborateexcusesyoucangivetokeeponengaginginthebehaviorthatpartofyoulikesbutalsoknowsisnotreallyskillful.Whenyou’vedecidedyou’vehadenough,that’swhenyou’rereallyreadyforthepractice.

Sosufferingiswhatcausesustobebewilderedbutit’salsowhatremindsusthatwewanttostopbeingbewildered.Otherwise,we’rejustgoingtokeepbangingourheadsagainstthewallofthatsuffering.That’swheretheotherreactioncomesin:thesearch.Maybethere’sawayout;maybethere’ssomebodywhoknowshowtoputanendtosuffering.TheBuddhastandsreadytogiveyouhisadvice.It’ssimplyuptoyouastowhenyou’rereadytotakeit.

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LessisMoreJuly2,2009

Wespreadthoughtsofgoodwillforalltheworld,thatwedon’twishanyoneanyharm.Wewishthatallbeingscouldfindhappiness.Sowhyarewesittingherewithoureyesclosed?Whyaren’twegoingoutthere,makingpeoplehappy?

Becausehappinessissomethingthathastocomefromwithin.It’sbasedonbeingskillfulinthewayyouact,whichincludesnotonlyyourphysicalactions,butalsoyourspeechandtheactionsofyourmind—andinparticular,theactofintention.Thisisbecauseit’sthroughourintentionsthatweshapetheworldweexperience,alongwiththeamountofpleasureorpainwetakeoutofthatexperience.Toformulateintentionsthatreallydoleadtohappinessisaskill.Andbecauseit’saskill,nobodyelsecanmastertheskillforyou;youcan’tmastertheskillforanyoneelse.Youcangiveotherpeopleadvice,youcanshowthemtosomeextenthowtodothings,butforthemtofindhappinessrequiresthattheytaketheissueofhappinessseriously,thattheylearnhowtobeskillfulintheirapproachtohappiness.Ifyou’regoingtogivethemreliableadviceorsetareliableexample,youyourselfneedtolearnhowtobeskillful,too.

So,bothforthesakeofourowntruehappinessandforthetruehappinessofothers,thisiswhywe’resittingheremeditating.We’retrainingthemindtobeveryattentive,continuallyattentivetowhatit’sdoing,sothatitcanlearnhowtodoitskillfully.Thismeansthateventhoughthereisthequestforpeace,thequestforstillnessinthemind,it’snotjustpeaceandstillnessforitsownsake.It’sforthesakeofunderstandingwhatwe’redoingtocausesuffering,andwhatwecandotostopit.That’sthepurposeofourunderstanding.

LastweekIwasteachingupinCanada,andthequestioncameup:Isn’tthepurposeofallthispracticetofindtheultimatetruthaboutthings?AndtheanswerisNo.We’retryingtofindaparticulartruththat’susefulforahigherpurpose,thepurposeoftruehappiness.It’struthwithapurpose.Afterall,therearemanytruthsoftheworld.Wecantalkabouthowlastingthingsare,andinsomewaysit’strue.Wecantalkabouthowephemeraltheyare,andinsomewaysthat’strueaswell.Wecantalkaboutthehappinessinrelationships,andtherereallyishappinessinrelationships.Butwecanalsotalkaboutthesufferinginrelationships,andthere’salotofthat,too.Thequestionis,whatusecomesfromfocusingonwhichtruths?Wheredotheyleadyou?

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Once,whenIwasfirststayingwithAjaanFuang,therewasanotheryoungmonkwhohadordainedathisfiancée’srequest.Shewantedtomakesureherhusbandhadhadsometrainingasamonkbeforetheygotmarried.Sohespenttwoweeksoutthereatthemonasteryandfoundthathelikedthelifeofamonkalotmorethanhehadexpected.WhenthenightcameforhisparentsandfiancéetopickhimupandtakehimbacktodisrobeinBangkok,AjaanFuangcouldsensethathewasgettingalittlereluctanttogo.Sothatnighthegaveatalkonhowwe’renotbornalone.We’rebornfromourparents.Weoweadebttoourparents,andweneedtorepaythatdebt.

Afewdayslater,Iwasbeginningtogetconcernedaboutmyowndebttomyfather,andAjaanFuangsaid,“Whenwecometothisworld,wecomealone.Nobodycomeswithus.Nobodyhiredustocome.”

Twodifferenttruths:bothtrue,andthequestionislearninghowtousethosetruthsproperlyintherightcontext.

Whichmeansthattheusesofthesetruthsarewhat’simportant.Theultimateuseisfindingouthowwecreatealotofunnecessarystressandsufferingforourselvesinspiteofourselves,andhowwecanputanendtoit.That’swhywetrainthemind.

Toseethisclearly,wehavetogetthemindstill.Getthemindwithoneobject,soitcansettledownandhaveagoodsolidfoundationthatdoesn’tshiftaroundallthetime.Themoreyoushiftaround,thelessyousee.Youmightthinkthatthemoreterritoryyoucover,themoresights,sounds,smells,tastes,andtactilesensationsyou’llsee.Butyoudon’tseethemclearly.Andthememoryofwhatyoudoseeisveryimpermanent.

Whenyoutrytogatherupthatkindofwealth—thewealthofmemoriesandexperiences—youfindthatitdoesn’tstaywithyou.It’slikebuyingahugeshiploadoflettuce,thinkingit’llsupplyyouwithallthelettuceyou’llneedfortherestofyourlife.And,ofcourse,thelettucebeginstorotprettyfastandafterawhileyoucan’tuseit.Youthenhavetheburdenoftryingtothrowitaway.

Soyouneedtogetadifferentkindofknowledge,thekindofknowledgethatdoesn’tchange.Youfindthatitdoesn’trequireyoutoknowalotofthingsoutside,butitdoesrequireyoutoknowyourmindverythoroughly.Howdoesyourmindprocessthings?That’swherethestressandsufferingcomefrom.

TheBuddhaexplainsthecausesofstressandsufferinginaveryelaboratesequence.Itstartswithignoranceandgoesthroughmanydifferentfactors.Butoneobviouspointtonoticeisthatmanyofthefactorscomepriortoyoursensoryexperience.Inotherwords,theissueisallaboutwhatyoubringtotheexperience.That’swhatmakesallthedifference.Thisiswhywetrainthemind:sothatitcanbringtherightqualities,therightintentions,therightattention—paying

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attentiontowherethere’sstress,andwhatcanyoudotoputanendtoit,byfocusingonwhatyoudidtocauseit.Thatkindofknowledgeisusefulinallcircumstances,foritenablesyoutobringtherightattitudes,therightqualitiestobear,nomatterwhatthesituation.

Sowestartoutherewithoureyesclosed,sittingstill,togetthemindtosettledownsothatwecanseeit,sothatwecandevelopsomeoftheseskills.Buttheseskillsarenotjusttobeusedwhensittingherewithoureyesclosed.They’reforustobringtoanysituationnomatterwhat,nomatterhowcomplex,nomatterhowlargeandcomplicated.Ifwecanbringtherightattitudestothosesituations,wedon’thavetosuffer.Wedon’thavetocausesufferingforotherpeople.Theymaynotlikewhatwesayordo,becausewecan’thaveanycontroloverpeople’slikesanddislikes,whichareprettyunreliable.Butwecanbefirminourintentnottocauseanyoneanyharm.

Thisisthekindofknowledgeandthesearethekindoftruthswe’relookingfor:thetruthofwhatyou’redoingrightnow.Whatisyourintentionrightnow?Isitaskillfulintention?Andskillfuldoesn’tmeanjustgood,becauseyoucanhavegoodintentionsforothers,butyoucanalsohavealotofdelusionatthesametime,inwhichcaseyourintentionisnotreallyskillful.Whenyou’relookingforskillfulintentions,you’relookingforintentionsthataren’tfoundedongreed,aren’tfoundedonaversion,andaren’tfoundedondelusion.That’swhatyou’reworkingfor.

Thatmeansyouhavetostartwithsomethingimmediatelypresentandreallyobvious—likethebreath.Justbewiththebreathasitcomesin;bewiththebreathasitgoesout.Partofthemindwillcomplainthatthere’snotmuchhappening,butthemorespaceyougivetothebreath,themoreyouseewhat’sthere.Inotherwords,youdon’twanttoclutterupyourmindwithotherthoughts.Youhavetorealizeinthiscasethatlessismore.Thefewerthingsyou’rethinkingabout,themoreyou’llseerighthere,rightnow.

Sowhateverotherconcernsyoumayhaveaboutyoursituationathome,atwork,ortheworldoutside,putthoseconcernsasideforthetimebeing.Beasfullyawareofthebody,asfullyawareofthebreathasyoucanrightnow.Thinkofthebreathasawhole-bodyprocess.It’snotjusttheaircominginandoutofthelungs.It’stheflowofenergythroughoutthebody,partofwhichisrelatedtotheflowofthebloodandtothesenseofalivenessinyournerves.Trytobesensitivetothewholebodyasyoubreatheinandbreatheout.Noticeifthere’sanytensionortightnessinanypartofthebody.Allowittorelax.Ifthere’sasenseofnourishmentandrefreshment,allowthattoexpand.Askyourself:Whatwouldbethemostrefreshingwaytobreatherightnow?Seehowthebodyresponds.Andstickwithit,tryingtostayontopofthebody’sbreath-needsandprovidingwhateveryousenseitneedswitheachandeverybreath.

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Becauseit’sinstickingwiththebreaththattheminddevelopssomesteadiness.Onceyourgazeissteady,itcanbegintoseeothermovementsinthemindastheyhappen.Butforthetimebeing,youdon’twanttopaythemanyattention.Youwanttopayattentionmoretothemovementsofthebreath.Ifthereareanythoughtscomingup,youcanjustletthemgo,letthemgo,letthemgo.Again,lessismore.Thefewerthethoughtsclutteringupyourawareness,themoreyou’llsensehowthebreathcanfilltherangeofyourawareness.Themoresensitiveyouare,themorelikelythemindistosettledown,tohaveasenseofeaseandwellbeingrighthere,rightnow.Combthroughanytanglesoftensioninthebody,anyknotsofblockageinthebreath.Themoredemandingyouareinnotallowingthetensiontostay,themoresubtletiesyou’llsee.It’slikebeingtheprincesswhocouldn’tevenhaveapeaundermanymattresses—thedifferenceherebeingthatifyousenseanylittlepeasunderthemattress,youtakethemout.

That’stheworkatthebeginningofthemeditation:ironingthingsout,smoothingthingsout,askingquestionsaboutthebreath.Whatkindofbreathingwouldfeelgoodnow?Andwhatwouldfeelgoodnow?Becausesometimesyoucanbreatheinawaythatstayssteadilythesameforlongperiodsoftime,andthebodyfeelsfine.Atothertimes,onetypeofbreathingmightfeelgoodforacouplebreathsandthennotsogoodwiththenextbreath,soyou’vegottochange.Theimportantthingisthatyoustaywiththebreathasyourmaintopic,todevelopwhatiscalledsinglenessofpreoccupation,whichmeansboththatyouholdtoonepreoccupation,thebreath,andyoumakeitsingleinthesensethatit’stheonethingthatfillsthewholerangeofyourawareness,withbreathenergyflowingthroughthebody,evenaroundthebody.Thinkofitasacocoonaroundthebody,protectingyoufromoutsideenergies.Seehowlongyoucanmaintainthatperception.

It’sanactofbalancing.Ifyou’veevernoticedpeoplewalkingacrossatightrope,younoticethattheydon’tstayperfectlybalancedallthetime.Theyshiftalittlebittotheright,alittlebittotheleft,andthentheycorrect,likethoseold-fashionedscalesthatswingbackandforthbeforefinallycomingintobalance.Ifsomethingtipsitinonedirection,thescalecorrectsitself,swingingbackandforthuntilit’sinbalanceagain.Theabilitytoregainyourbalanceiswhat’sgoingtokeepyouhere.

Ourmindisoftenlikethemindofanaddict,thesortofpersonwhosays,“I’vebeensmokingpotforthelastfiveyearsbutnowI’mtotallyclean,totallybeyondthat.I’llneverbetemptedtosmokeagain.”Thatkindofattitudeisgoingtogethimbackintosmokingpotprettysoon.Thewaytostayawayfromyouraddictionistorealizethattherearecertainthingsthatattractyou,soyouhavetobeonyourguard,armedwithantidotesforeverytemptation.Youneedtohaveantidotestobringyourselfbackintobalance.Sorealizethatthere’salwaysa

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possibilityoffallingoutofbalance,butyoucanmastertheskillsthatcangetyoubackin.

That’swhatthedirectedthoughtandevaluationatthebeginningofrightconcentrationareallabout.Ifyoufindthemindslippingoffthebreath,youcangetitbackrightaway.Ifitslipsoffinanotherdirection,yougetitbackrightaway.Youkeepregainingyourbalancenomatterhowmuchitwobbles.Afterawhile,thingsfinallysettledown.Yougetmoreandmoreabsorbedinthebreath.There’sagreatersenseofoneness.Agreatersenseofconcentration,composure,assurancethatthisiswhereyoureallywanttobe,andit’sallrightwhereitisrightnow.Atthatpoint,youdon’thavetoadjustoranalyzethebreathanymore.Juststaywith“fullbodybreath,wholebodybreath,aware,aware.”It’sasiftheawarenessandthebodyandthebreathpenetrateoneanother.There’sastrongsenseofoneness.It’sfromthisonenessthatwecanbegintoseethingsclearly.

Theimportantthingrightnowisjusttomakesurethatyourfoundationisstrong,andthatyoudowhateverisneededtomaintainandregainthatsenseofbalance.Youmayfindthemindgoingintoitsoldhabitsoftryingtogatherupthis,gatherupthat,soremember:Lessismore.Justthebreath.Justthebreath.Youdon’tneedanythingelse.Ifyougivealotofattentiontothebreath,youbegintoseeitspotentialsandcantakeadvantageofthem.Youfindthatasenseofeaseandwellbeingwiththebreathcandoalotmoreforyouthananyamountofstatus,materialgain,praise,outsidepleasures—anyofthewaysoftheworld.Asenseofeaseandwellbeingthatcomefromwithin:Thisisreallyallyouneedbecauseitfullynourishesthemindrightnow.

Awell-nourishedmindgivesrisetomoremindfulnessandultimatelytotheknowledgethatcanputanendtodefilement—whichisanevengreaterexampleofthecasethatlessismore.Thefeweryourdefilements,themorefreedomyouhave.AstheBuddhasaid,whenhegainedawakening,hedwelledwithanunrestrictedawareness,freefromanyattachments,freefromanyconstriction.It’sthegreatestwealththereis.

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RehabWorkJanuary16,2011

Takeacoupleofgoodlong,deepin-and-outbreathsandseehowthatfeels.Ifitfeelsgood,keepitup.Ifitfeelstoostrenuous,tryanotherrhythmofbreathing:shorter,moreshallow,heavier,orlighter.Justposethisquestioninthemind:“Whatkindofbreathingwouldfeelgoodnow?”You’llnoticethatthebreathingprocessisnotjustaircominginandoutofthenose.Thebodyhastomove.Themovementofthebodyiswhatwe’reinterestedin.That’salsoakindofbreath.It’stheenergythatallowstheairtocomeinandout.

Noticewhereyoufeelthatenergy:whereitfeelsgood,whereitdoesn’tfeelsogood.Ifitdoesn’tfeelgood,youcanchangeit.Justkeepaskingthatquestion,“Whatwouldfeelgoodrightnow?”Eachtimeyoubreathein,eachtimeyoubreatheout,trytogetasenseofexactlyhowlongabreathfeelsjustright.Youwanttostaywiththebreathingprocessasconsistentlyasyoucansothatyoucannoticethelittlesignalsthattellyouthingslike,“Nowthebreathisgettingtoolong,”or“Itwasn’tdeepenoughjustnow,solet’stryalittlebitdeeperthistime.”Onlywhenyouwatchcontinuallylikethiscanyoucanactuallynoticethesethings.Ifyourattentionskipsoffsomeplaceelse,youmissalotofthesignals.

You’retryingtostaywiththebreath,butdon’tstayjustthroughforceofwill.Trytostaywithasenseofcuriosity.You’reexploringandlearningnewhabits.Youmaydiscoverthatthewayyou’vebeenbreathinghasnotbeengoodforthebody.Somepartsofthebodyseemtobestarvedofbreathenergy;otherpartsareoverworked.Ifyoufindapartofthebodythat’sbeenoverworked,letitrelaxandthinkofeachbreathcomingindirectlytothatparttogiveitmoreenergy.Youmayhavetoadjustyourpostureabit,sothatthebodyismorebalanced,notleaningtotheleft,notleaningtotheright,notstoopedover,nottiltingback.Trytosensitizeyourselftowhatthebodyisdoingintheprocessofbreathingandtowhatyoucandotomakeitamorehealingprocess.Afterall,thebreathiswhatkeepsthebodyalive.Ifthebreathinggoesreallywell,it’lldomorethanjustkeepthebodyalive.Itcanactuallybehealingforthebody.

TheBuddhaoftencompareshisDhammatomedicine.He’sadoctor.Themedicineisnotachemicalcompound.It’smorelikearehabprocess.You’rerehabilitatingyourbody.You’rerehabilitatingyourmind—becausethemindhas

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itsdiseases,too,youknow:thediseasesofgreed,aversion,anddelusion.Wewoundourselveswiththingswedoundertheinfluenceoftheseunskillfulmentalqualities.Althoughwemayhavepickeduphabitsfromtheoutside,inthesamewaythatwecanpickupgermsfromtheoutside,theactofchoosingtofollowthehabitsthatothershavemodeledforuswasourchoice.Ourresistancewasdown.Sothediseaseswehaveinthemindareself-inflicted.Tohealthemind,youdon’tjustletitsitthereanddonothing,orbenonreactive.Again,thinkofthisasrehabwork.Ifyousprainyourankle,youcan’tjustsitthereandleaveitimmobile.That’llmakeitworse.You’vegottofindexercisestokeepitmobileandtokeepitfromfreezingintounhealthypositions.

Thisiswhy,whentheBuddhateachesmeditation,hedoesn’tsaysimplytobenonreactive.Hedoeswantyoutolearnpatience,soyoucansitwiththingsforawhileandwatchthem,butnotjusttoleaveitatthat.Youwatchthingscarefullyandpatientlysothatyoucanseewhenyouhaveanyunhealthyhabits,anyunhealthywaysofthinking,unhealthywaysofperceivingthings.Bynoticingthem,youcanchangethem.That’swhyhegivesyousuggestionsfordifferentwaysoflookingatthingsanddifferentwaysofexercisingthemind.

Hehadaconversationonetimewithsomemonks,tellingthemitwouldbegoodiftheypracticedmorebreathmeditation.Onemonksaid,“Ialreadypracticebreathmeditation.”TheBuddhaasked,“Whatkindofbreathmeditationdoyoupractice?”Themonkreplied,“Iputasidethoughtsofthepast.Idon’thankerafterthefuture.I’mjustveryequanimousaboutwhathappensinthepresentmomentasIbreathein,asIbreatheout.”TheBuddharesponded,“Well,thereisthatkindofbreathmeditation,butthat’snotthekindthatgivesthebestresults.”Then,hetaughtthemonksthesixteenstepsofbreathmeditation.

Ifyoulookatthosesixteensteps,younoticealotoftheminvolvetrainingyoutobreatheinacertainway:topayattentionto,emphasize,andgiverisetocertainfeelings;togiverisetocertainmentalstates,andtogiverisetomentalqualitiesthatarehealing.Forinstance,onceyougetintouchwithhowthebreathfeels,trytobeawareofthewholebodysothatyoucannoticetheimpactofthebreathonthebody.Ifyounoticethatit’stoostrenuousinsomespots,oryou’reputtingtoomuchforceonsomespots,trytocalmitdown.Youtrytobreatheinawaythatgivesrisetoasenseoffullnessandease.Youbegintonoticehowthefeelingscreatedbyfocusingonthebreathhaveanimpactonthemind.Youalsonoticehowtheperceptionsofwhat’shappeninginthebreathingprocesshaveanimpactbothonthemindandonthewayyoubreathe.Youtrytocalmallofthatdown.

Thenyoulookatthestateofyourmind.Isitsteadyenough?Howisitsenergylevel?Ifitsenergylevelislow,trytogladdenit.Ifit’stoofrenetic,trytosteadyit.Ifyounoticethatthemindisthinkingaboutorfocusingonthingsina

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waythat’sburdensome,trytofreeitfromthoseburdens.Inotherwords,you’redoingrehabwork.You’reexercisingthemindthroughplayingwiththeprocessofbreathing.You’regettingtoknowtheprocessofbreathingreallythoroughly,andthroughthatyou’regettingtoseehowtheprocessoffabricationshapesyourpresentexperience.

IntheBuddha’sanalysisofcausation,hetalksabouthowignorancehasanimpactontheprocessoffabrication,andthethreetypesoffabrication—bodily,verbal,andmental—thenhaveanimpactonhowwereceiveinputthroughthesenses.Oneofthewayswefabricateourexperienceisthroughthewaywebreathe.That’scalledbodilyfabrication.Whenwebreathewithignorance,itleadstosufferingandtostress.Butifwebreathewithfullawarenessandalertness,itcanalleviatethatstress.So,whatwe’redoingnowisbringingmoreknowledgeandawarenesstotheprocessofbreath-fabrication.Byexercisingallthepossibilitiesofhowyoucouldthinkaboutandperceivethebreath,youcandiscoverwhat’smosthealingforyou.Thiswaywe’realsoexercisingthemindbyexploringtheprocessofbreath-fabricationtogetherwithmentalfabrication:howwefabricatefeelingsandperceptions,andhowthosefeelingsandperceptionsshapethestateofthemind.We’retakingaproactivestance.Sometimesthismeansjustwatchingforawhileandnotdoinganythingsothatyoucanseethingsmoreclearly.Butonceyouseethingsclearly,thenwhenyouseeyou’redoingsomethinguncomfortableorharmful,youcanchangeyourhabits.

Asyoudevelopsensitivityfromthisexploration,itcanthenbeappliedtootherhabitsandwaysofthinkingandactingthatareharmfuleithertoyourselfortoothersaswell.You’recontinuingtodorehabworkonyourownmind,learninghowtothinkandactinnewways.

TherewasagroupofasceticsduringtheBuddha’stime,calledtheJains.Theyreasonedthatpeoplesufferbecauseoftheiractions.Therefore,peopleshouldjuststopacting.Bylearninghowtostopacting,beingtotallynonreactive,thatwouldbethewaytorelease.TheBuddhapointedoutthatit’snothealingforthemindtosimplystopacting.Itdoesn’treleaseorfreethemind.Itjustfreezesthings.Hispathismoreproactivebyteachingyoutoexamineyouractionsinthepresentand,whereverthey’recausingharm,tolearntoactinanewway,awaythatultimatelydoesleadtotheendofaction.Thisnewwayofactingalsoleadstotheendofintention,butitdoesthisthroughunderstandingandthroughthemasteryofskills:howtobreathe,howtoperceivethings,andhowtothinkaboutthings.Thesearetheskillswithwhichyouhealyourself.

Asyoulookbackonyourlife,you’reboundtoseelotsoftimeswhenyouactedinwaysthatwerehurtfultoyourselfandtoothers.Whatyou’retryingtocreatenowasyoumeditateisaplacewhereyoucandohealingwork:Dohealingactions,thinkhealingthoughts,thinkhealingperceptions.Youstartbytraining

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yourthoughtsorperceptionsandlearninghowtobreatheinahealingway.Thisisrehabworkforthemind;it’srehabworkforthewayyouapproachexperienceingeneral.

SotheBuddhawasn’tthekindofdoctorwhowouldhaveyoulieinbedandremainimmobile.Healsowasn’tthekindofdoctorwhowouldjustgiveyouashotandsendyouhome.Hewasmorelikeaphysicaltherapistteachingyounewwaystowalk,newwaystoholdyourbodyasyousit.Furtherthanthat,ofcourse,heteachesyounewwaystobreathe,newwaystothink,newwaystoperceivethings.Asyoudevelopthesenewhabits,youfindthatthehabitsthemselvesarehealing.

Sothinkofthebreathwork,themeditation,asrehabwork.Effortisinvolved.Youhavetolearnhowtothinkinnewways,howtoaskquestions,andhowtolookwithneweyesatwhat’sgoingon.Youhavetonoticehowyou’reshapingyourexperienceandthentryoutnew,morehealingwaysofshapingthatexperience.Asyoudevelopthesenewskills,youfindthattheytakeyoutotruehealth.That’soneoftheBuddha’snamesfornibbana:truehealthforthemind,amindthat’sbeenhealed,becauseitknowshowtodoitsownhealingwork.

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KindfulnessMay1,2010

Asyoutrainthemind,focusingonthebreath,allowingthebreathtobecomfortable,tryingtobecomefriendswiththebreath,it’saverydirectwayofshowinggoodwilltoyourselfandtothepeoplearoundyou.Goodwillforyourselfinthesensethatyoulearnhowtodevelopasourceofhappinessthatcomesfromwithin.Yourhappinessislessdependentonoutsideconditions.Andthisiswhyit’sanactofgoodwillforothers,inthatthishappinessdoesn’thavetotakeanythingawayfromanyoneelse.

Nowinthebeginning,asyou’relearningtheropes,it’sveryhelpfultohaveconduciveoutsideconditions.Aswithanyskill,youwanttolearnthebasicswithasfewdistractionsaspossible,alongwithasupportiveenvironment,andhelpfulpeopletoinspireyou,toencourageyou,togiveyouadvice.Sointhebeginning,thishappinessisverymuchdependentonconditions.

Butasyougetmoreandmoreskilled,youfindthatyoucancarrythesenseofbeingwell-centered—havinganawarenessthatfillsthebody,thatfeelsateasewiththebody,feelsateasewiththebreath—intoallkindsofsituations.Whereinthepastyoufeltthreatened,nervous,orillatease,nowyouhaveasolidcenter.You’regroundedandyou’retakingcareofthemind’sneedtofeed.

It’ssomethingwedon’toftenthinkaboutbutit’sanimportantquestiontoaskyourself:Whereisyourmindfeeding?Whatkindsofthingsisitlookingfortogiveitselfstrength,togiveitselfpleasure,togiveitselfnourishment?Alltoooften,youfindyou’refeedingonthewordsandactionsofotherpeople,thingsaroundyou.Inside,youfindyourselffeedingongreed,feedingonanger,feedingondelusion.Noneofthesethingsaregood,healthyfood.

Butasyoufeedonthecomfortablebreath,it’snotjustthebreathyou’refeedingon.You’realsofeedingonthegoodqualitiesyou’redevelopinginthemindasyoustickwiththebreath:conviction,persistence,mindfulness,alertness,concentration,discernment,goodwill,compassion,empatheticjoy,equanimity.Theseareallgoodqualitiestodevelop.Asforthewordqualitieshere,it’sbesttothinkofthemashabitsyoudevelopinthemind.That’sbecauseit’smoreusefultothinkofthemindintermsofwhatit’sdoingthanintermsofwhatitis.Inotherwords,ifyouthinkofyourmindasathingwithparticularcharacteristics—anarrowmind,abroadmind,agoodmind,abadmind—youfindyourselfstuck

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insidethatparticularcharacterizationandit’shardtogetout.Butifyouseeitsimplyasabundleofdifferentactivities,thenanactivityissomethingyoucanchange.Justbecauseyoudidsomethingyesterdaydoesn’tmeanyouhavetodoitagaintoday.Asyougivethemindabetterandbetterplacetostay,abetterplaceonwhichtobaseitsactivities—moresolid,morereliable,morepleasurable—it’smorelikelytodotheskillfulthingbecauseit’snotsotemptedtogooutandgetaquickfix,aquickbitetoeat.Thatwayyoucantrustyourmindmoreandmore.

Thisisprobablythescariestthinginlife:whenyoucomeacrossdifferentsituationswhereyousensethatyoucan’ttrustyourselftodotheskillfulthing,whereyou’retemptedtodosomethingthat’seitherharmfultoyourselforharmfultoothers.Butthat’sthewaythemindisifit’sdependentonconditionsbeingacertainway.Itbehavesitselfwhenthingsgowellbutnotwhentheydon’t.

TheBuddhaoncesaidhedidn’ttrustthemonkswhobehavedwellonlywhentherewasgoodfood,goodclothing,goodshelter,andgoodmedicineavailable.Ashesaid,hecouldn’ttrustthattheywerereallythereforthepractice.Whatwouldtheydowhenthefoodwasn’tsogoodoriftherewasalackintheclothing,shelter,ormedicine?

Thisisoneofthewaysinwhichthemeditationisagifttoyourself:Youlearnthatyoucantrustyourselfmorebecauseyou’remorenourishedandateaseinthepresentmoment.You’remoreateasewithagreatersenseofconfidence,stability,andstrength.Andthisisawellbeingthathasnodrawbacks.Especiallyasyoudevelopthemindfurtherandfurther,youultimatelyrunacrosssomethingthat’snotconditionedatall,notevenbyinsideconditions.That’swhatthepracticeisaimedat:adimensiontotallyfreefromsuffering,totallyfreefromconditions,pure,unadulterated,trustworthyhappiness.That’squiteagift.

Ontopofthat,you’renottheonlyonewhobenefits.That’stheothersideofthepractice:You’reshowinggoodwillforothers.Allaspectsofthepracticeshareinthisqualityofbeinggoodforbothsides.Youstartwithgenerosity,whichobviouslybenefitsotherpeople,butyoubenefitaswell.Themindgrowslarger,moreexpansive,moreabletoincludeotherpeopleinyourconsideration.

Thesamewiththeprecepts:Yourefrainfromharmingotherpeople.Thatmeansyouhavelessremorsetodealwithinside.Ifyou’regoingaroundintentionallyhurtingthisorthatperson,andthenyousitdownandtrytomakethemindquiet,thesethingsjustpopupinyourawareness.Whentheypopup,youcandooneoftwothings.Ontheonehand,youcandenythattheyhappenedorthattheywerewrongorthatthatpersonwasworthanything,allofwhichmakesyourmindmoreandmorenarrowandrigid.Or,ontheotherhand,youcanjustsitthereovercomewithremorse,whichislikestickingaknifeinanopenwound.

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Butifyoumakeapracticeofgoingthroughthedayresolvingnottoharmotherpeopleregardless,thenwhenyoufeeltemptedtosaysomethingthat’shurtfuloruntrue,youjustholdyourtongue.That,ofalltheprecepts—theoneagainstlying—isprobablythemostimportantandthemostrelevantallthetime.Therearenotthatmanysituationswhenwe’retemptedtokillorsteal.Illicitsex,maybe;alcoholanddrugs,maybe.Butcontrollingyourmouth:That’s24/7,exceptwhenyou’reasleep.

Asyouexercisemorerestraintoveryourmouth,you’reshowingmorerespectforyourself.AsAjaanLeeoncesaid,youshouldbowdowntoyourmoutheveryday.Youwenttoallthetroubleofdevelopingtheperfectionsthatallowyoutobebornasahumanbeing.Youhaveahumanmouth.It’snotlikethemouthsofanimals,whichcansayonlyafewthings.Youcansayallkindsofthings,soyouwanttousethatmouthwell.Thinkofalltheeffortthatwentintogainingit.

Sowhenyou’vebeenobservingtheprecepts,stickingwiththemasapromiseyoumaketoyourself,thenasyousitdownandmeditate,there’slessremorse.Instead,youhaveasensethatyou’relivingintheworldinaharmlessway,withalightfootprint,andyoufinditeasiertolivewithyourself.Inthisway,otherpeoplebenefit,andyoubenefitaswell.

Evenmorewiththemeditation:We’reworkingtoovercomegreed,anger,anddelusioninthemind.We’relearningtomakeourselvesmoreself-reliant—whichmeansthatotherpeoplewillbelesssubjecttoourgreed,anger,anddelusion,andwe’llhavetoleanonthemless.Aswedevelopmindfulness,concentration,discernment,compassion,thesethingscan’thelpbutspilloverintothewaywedealwithotherpeople.

TheBuddhaoncetoldthestoryoftwoacrobats.Themasteracrobatgotupontheendofabamboopole—apparentlytheywouldstickthesepolesupvertically.Hegotupontopofthepole,hadhisassistantgetuponhisshoulders,andthentoldher,“Now,youlookoutaftermeandI’lllookoutafteryouaswedoourtricksonthebamboopole,andthatwaywe’llcomedownsafely.”Andshesaid,“No,thatwon’twork.Ihavetolookoutaftermyselfandyoulookafteryourself,andthatwaywe’llhelpeachotherkeepourbalanceonthepole.”Inotherwords,bykeepingyourbalanceyou’rehelpingotherpeoplekeeptheirbalance.AndtheBuddhasaidthatinthatparticularcasetheassistantwastheonewhowasright.

Butthereareothercaseswhere,whenlookingoutafterotherpeople,you’relookingoutafteryourself.Asyoudevelopkindfulness—excuseme,asyoudevelopkindnessandcareinhowyoutreatotherpeople—you’rebenefitingyourself.Asyoudevelopgoodwill,patience,andharmlessnessinthewayyoutreatthem,you’rebenefitingyourself.Asyoudevelopgoodqualitiesinthemindasyoumeditate—persistence,dedication,mindfulness—you’rebenefitingother

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peopleaswell.Sothisiswhythisisaspecialpractice.You’redevelopingahappinessthatspreadsaround.

Atthesametime,thissenseofwellbeinginthemindiswhatallowsyoutolookatyouractionsinallfairnessandseewherethey’reskillfulandwherethey’renot.Whenthemindisfeelingtiredandhungryandweak,itdoesn’tliketolookatitsmistakes—andasaresultit’snotgoingtolearnfromthem.You’renotgoingtolearnfromanythingyouwon’tlookat.Butwhenyoucandevelopthisgreatersenseofwellbeinginside,youcanreflectwithmorefairnessandgreatersensitivityontheareaswhereyouractionseitherharmedyourselforharmedotherpeople.

Thissimpleprincipleoflookingatthingsintermsofactionsandresultsgoesverydeepinthepractice.AsIsaidearlier,whenyouthinkaboutthemind,don’tthinkaboutitasathingorentity.Thinkofitasjustlotsandlotsofactions.Lookatthewaysyouthink,thewaysyoufocusonthings,thewaysyouunderstandthings,thewaysyouinterpretthings,theintentionsyouhave,thewaysyoupayattentiontothings.Theseareallactionsthatmightbeskillfulornot.Asyoursensitivitydevelops,youbegintoseemoreandmorewhereyou’reactinginanunskillfulway,thinking,interpreting,orintendinginunskillfulways.Becauseyou’renowcomingfromthissettledplace,youcanbegintothinkmoreandmoreabouthowyoucandothingsmoreskillfully.Keepdoingthis,andyoursenseof“skillful”willgrowmoreandmorerefined.

Trytodevelopasenseofyourselfassomeonewho’salwayswillingtolearn,especiallyfromyourmistakes.Youdon’tbeatyourselfupoveryourmistakes.Youtrynottomakemistakessothatyoudon’thavetheextraburdenoflookingbackonblameworthymistakes—i.e.,oneswhereyouknewbetterbutwentaheadwithharmfulbehavioranyhow.Butwhenyoudomakeamistake,yousay,“Okay,thatwasamistake.WhatcanIlearnfromit?”Yourealizethatbeatingyourselfupextrahardisnotgoingtocompensateforsomethingyoudid—andit’scertainlynotgoingtoputyouinabetterpositiontodoitskillfullythenexttime.Themoreyoulookattheeventsinthemindinthisway,themoreyouseethatwhatyouthoughtwerethingsorentitiesorinherentnaturesyoucouldn’tchangeareactuallyactions.

Evenyoursenseofselfisatypeofaction.Youidentifywithideas,youidentifywiththebody,youidentifywithyourpossessions,yourrelationships,yourroleoutsideintheworld,andineachcasethatidentificationisakindofmentalactivity.Becauseit’sanactivity,thenthequestionbecomesnot,“Whichselfisthetrueme?”Thequestionbecomes,“Whenistheactivityofhavingasenseofselfskillfulandwhenisitnot?”Youseethatamongthevariousselvesyoucreate,theonesthataremoreresponsible,thataremorecareful,morewillingtolearn:Thosearetheonesyouwanttonurture.

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Inparticular,thesenseofselfthat’sconfidentthatitcandothepractice:TheBuddhastronglyencouragesyoutofosterthatsenseofself.Thesenseofselfthatwantstruehappiness:Hesaystohonorthatsenseofself.Don’tbeatraitortoit.Heedfulness,restraint:Theseareallactivitiesofwiseselfing.They’rethingsyouwanttodevelop.

Asforthesensesofselfthatsay,“Ijustwantmyquickfix;Iwantmyquickbiterightnow,”thoseareselvesyouhavetolookaskanceat.Thosearetheonesyoudon’tfeed.

Thisiswheretheteachingonnot-selfcomesin.Youbegintorealizethatjustbecausesomethingcomesupintheminddoesn’tmeanyouhavetoidentifywithit.Afterall,there’salotofactivityinthemindthatcomessimplyfromtheforceofpastkamma,yourpastactions.Andthat’snotyourkammarightnow.Yourkammarightnowiswhatyoudowiththosethings.Youhavethechoicetogowiththemornot.Trytomakethemostofthatchoice,becauseasyouexercisethatfreedom,youfindmoreandmorewhatfreedommeansinthemind.

Thisgoesdeepintothemeditation.Youhavetokeepthisinmindallthewaytothemostrefinedlevels,becausewhenthemindgetsverystill,verycentered,veryspacious,there’sastrongsenseofoneness,astrongsensethatyou’vearrivedatthegroundofbeing,anawarenessthatdoesn’tseemtobetouchedbyanything.It’sveryeasytomistakethatforsomesortofmetaphysicalprinciple,withthesensethat“thisisthewaythingsare”:“Being”withacapitalB.Buteventhere,theBuddhahasyourecognizeitasakindofactivity.It’sactuallyadoing.

Asheoncesaid,thehigheststateofonenessornon-dualityisasenseofthenon-dualityofconsciousness,asenseofknowing,knowing,knowingthatpermeateseverything.It’saskillfulstatebutit’snotwhatwe’rehereforbecauseit’snottheendofsuffering.Youhavetolearntoquestionitintermsofactivities:Whatweretheactivitiesthatbroughtyouthere?Whatdidyoudo,knowinglyorunknowingly,intentionallyornot,thatgaverisetothat?Whatareyoudoingtokeepitgoing?Eventhoughit’ssubtle,therehastobeanactivitytokeepitgoing.Evenjusttheperception,thelabelthere:That’sanactivity.Towhatextentisthatactivitystillstressful?Canyoudropwhatever’scausingthatstress?ThesearethequestionstheBuddhahasyouask,lookingateverythingasactions,actionsyouwanttodoskillfully,actionsyouwanttodoorstopdoingforthesakeofputtinganendtosuffering.

Inotherwords,thislineofquestioningismotivatedbygoodwill,motivatedbycompassionforyourselfandforotherpeople—alwaysrealizingthatthemoreskillfulyoubecomeintrainingthemind,learninghowtoactwithmoreprecision,moreskill,morefinesse,thenthelessyousuffer—andthelessthepeoplearoundyousuffer.Youhavemorepositivethingstoshare.

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AstheBuddhaoncesaid,thereareonlytwothingshetaught:sufferingorstress,andtheendofsufferingorstress.Togettotheendinvolvesunderstandingtheprincipleofaction:whatyou’redoing,whereit’sskillful,whereit’snot,whatyoucanlearnfromwhereit’sskillfulandwhereit’snot.Thatway,youcanultimatelyreachthedimensionwheresufferingends,orastheBuddhasays,youseeitwiththebodyortouchitwiththebody.Inotherwords,it’satotallyfullexperience—it’snotjustsomethinginyourhead—whereyourhappinessdoesn’thavetodependonanyconditionsatall.

That’swhenyoucantrustyourself.Youdon’tneedtofeedonanythingoutsideanymore.You’vegotsomethingsosolidthatitdoesn’tneedtobenourished.Anditdoesn’tdependonconditions;itdoesn’tdependonspaceandtime.Soitcausesnoharmtoanybodyatall.Aswithallaspectsofthepractice,it’sagifttoyourselfandtoothers.Onceyou’veexperiencedthis,youcanspeakwithmoreconfidenceaboutwhatreallyworks,howthemindcanbetrained,what’sskillfulintrainingthemind,what’snotskillfulintrainingthemind.Youcantrustyourself,andotherpeoplecantrustyoumoreaswell.

Sothispracticeisnotonlyagift,it’salsosomethinggoodtogiveyourselfto—becauseitgivessomuchback.Youlookattheworldandtherearesomanythingsthatclamorforyourtimeandattention.Butifyouaskyourself,“IfIgavemyselftothat,whatwouldIbeleftwith?”Andyourealize:notmuch.Butthisisonetraining,onepracticethatmorethanlivesuptoitspromise.Sogiveitaserioustry.

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AsDays&NightsFlyPastJanuary1,2010

Trytogetthebodyinacomfortableposition.Trytokeepyourbackstraight—butnotramrodstraight.Comfortablystraight.Faceforward.Closeyoureyes.Putyourhandsinyourlap,yourrighthandontopofyourleft.Andthereyouare.

Thenextstepistoputthemindinacomfortableposition,andthattakesmoretime.

Firststartwiththoughtsthatarecomfortabletothink.“MayIbehappy,mayalllivingbeingsbehappy,”asinthechantwechantedjustnow.That’sacomfortablethoughttothink.Andthinkaboutthepossibilityofatruehappiness:ahappinessthatdoesn’tharmyou,doesn’tharmanybodyelse,becauseitcomesfromwithin.Thosearegoodthoughtstothinkaswell.Truehappinessispossibleanditdoesn’thavetoharmanyone—unlikemostofthepleasuresoftheworld,whereifsomeonegainssomething,somebodyelsehastolose.Andnotjustlose:Somepeopleactuallyareharmedbyotherpeople’ssearchforhappiness.Buthere’sasearchforhappinesswherenobodygetsharmed.

Wheredoyoufindthathappiness?Youfinditwithin.Sothenextstepistofocusonyourbreath,becausethebreathisagood

anchorforkeepingthemindinthepresent.It’salsowhatmakesthepresentlivableintermsofgettingthemindtosettlecomfortablyintothebodyinthepresentmoment.Thebreathisthepartofthebodythat’smostchangeableandliesmostunderyourcontrol.Itcanhaveaneffectonwhetheryou’regoingtobesittinghereinpainorsittinghereinpleasure.

Takeacoupleofgoodlongdeepin-and-outbreaths.Seehowthatfeels.Ifitfeelsgood,keepitup;ifnot,youcanchangetoshorterbreathingorlongerbreathing.Heavierorlighter;deeperormoreshallow;fasterorslower;broaderormorefocused.Therearelotsofdifferentwaysyoucanbreathe.Experimenttoseewhattherangeofbreathingcandoforthebody.

It’slikegettinganewstereo.Youfiddlewiththedialstoseehowtheyaffectthesound,whatkindofnoisesyoucangetoutofyourstereo.Thenyoufinallydecideonthesettingsyouprefer.Andyoucandothesamewiththebreath.Nobody’sheretotellyouthatonewayofbreathinghastobebetterthan

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another.Yougettochoose.Andinchoosing,youdevelopyourownpowersofdiscernment.Asyoubegintoseethatsomewaysofbreathingfeelgoodforawhilebutafterawhiletheydon’tfeelsogood,well,yougettochange.Youtryotherways.

Youalsonoticehowyouthinkaboutthebreath.Whatkindofconceptdoyouusetopicturethebreathingprocesstoyourself?Whenyoubreathein,what’sactuallyhappening?Youknowthere’saircominginandoutofthelungs,butasyoubegintogetmoresensitivetohowyouexperiencetheprocess,youbegintoseethere’salsoasenseofenergythatflowsthroughthebody.Andthathasahugeimpactonhowyou’regoingtobesittingherefortherestofthehour.Iftheenergyisallowedtoflowsmoothlyandfreely,you’remorelikelytobeherewithasenseofcomfort.Infact,whentheBuddhatalksaboutthemindsettlingin,it’stodeveloppleasureandrapture.It’srighthere,inthewaythebreathenergyflows,thatthepleasureandtherapturearegoingtoappear.Soyouworkwiththat.

Onceyoufindasenseofease,whatcanyoudotomaintainthatease?Youcan’tclampdownonit.Butyoucan’ttakeacavalierattitudetowardit,either.It’ssomethingyouwanttoprotect.Youhavetobeveryobservantastohowyou’reexperiencingthebodyinthepresentmomentandtowhatwaysyoucanexperimentwiththatexperience.Noticewhichwaysofbreathingcreateasenseofease;whichwaysofbreathingdestroythatsenseofease;whichwaysofbreathing,whichwaysoffocusingonthebreathenergy,helptomaintainasenseofeaseandallowittogrowtoasenseoffullness,sothatyoufeelfull,full,full,allthewaythroughthein-breathandallthewaythroughtheout.Don’ttrytosqueezetheenergyoutasyoubreatheout,becausethatpreventsthesenseoffullnessandrapturefromarising.

So,thisallowsustosithere,thebodycomfortablyinposition,themindcomfortablyinposition.Andthatinandofitselfcanbehealing:healingtothebody,healingtothemind.Learnhowtomaintainthat.

Butit’smorethanjusthealing.Asweallknow,there’sanothersidetothemeditation,whichisgaininginsight.Maintainingthesenseofcomfortisactuallywhatmakestheinsightpossible.Whyisthat?Becausealotoftheissuesthatwe’regoingtotrytogaininsightintoarenotverycomfortabletothinkabout.Normallyweapproachthemwithasenseofdesperation,fear,andanxiety,andsowecan’treallyseethemforwhattheyare.

Likethatchantwehadjustnow:aging,illness,death,separation.Thesearethingswedon’tliketothinkabout.Mostpeopletakeanostrichattitudetowardthem:thatifyouburyyourheadinthesand,theywon’tseeyouandthey’llgoaway.Butthatobviouslydoesn’twork.Thebodygrowsold,evenasyou’resittingthere.Itgrowssick.Allthosegermscomefloatingtoyouthroughtheair.And,of

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course,thebody’sgoingtodiesomeday.Thisissomethingweallknow.Deathisoneofthethingsthat’stotallycertainandyetmostofusactasifit’snotgoingtohappen—becausewedon’tknowhowtothinkaboutit.Wecan’tapproachitwithasenseofcomfort,sowetrytoavoidit.ButwhattheBuddha’shavingusdoaswemeditateistodevelopasenseofcomfortinbodyandmindsothatyoucanlookatthesethingsfromabalancedandunthreatenedperspective.

Eventhoughthey’reinevitable,andpotentiallyverypainful,youdon’thavetosufferfromthem.That’sanimportantpoint.Formostofus,justtheideaofaging,illness,anddeathcausesustosuffer.Evenmoreso,theactuality:Asyougrowold,youfindtherearethingsyoucan’tdoanymore.Yourbodysimplywon’tletyou.Whenyou’resick,you’reevenmoredebilitated.Andwhenyoudie,thebodydoesn’tcomeandsay,“I’mgoingtodieonsuchandsuchadate.Geteverythingreadyintime.Isthisaconvenienttimetogo?Ifnot,wecannegotiate.”Itdoesn’tdiscussthatatall.Ifit’sgoingtogo,it’sgoingtogo.

Thequestionis,howdoyoulearnnottosufferfromthosethings?Andtheansweristhatyoudevelopqualitiesofmind,andyoualsodevelopacertainattitudetowardlife.Thisiscrucial.Youneedtogainasenseofwhat’sreallyimportantinthislimitedspanoftimethatwehavewhenthebody’sstillhealthy,stillrelativelyyoung,stillfunctioning—atleasttosomeextent—andstillalive.What’sreallyworthdoinginthislife?

There’saquestiontheBuddhahasthemonksreflectoneverydayandit’snotjustformonks.It’sforeverybodywhopractices.It’s:“WhatamIbecomingasdaysandnightsflypast?”Thisisaquestionhehasyouaskyourselfeveryday:“WhatamIbecomingasdaysandnightsflypast?”It’saninterestingquestion.Weallknowabouttheteachingsonnot-selfandgoingbeyondbecoming,butheretheBuddha’saskingyoutoreflectonyourselfandwhatyourselfisbecoming.Thisisbecausethereareareasinthepracticewhereitisusefultodevelopahealthysenseofself,askillfulsenseofself.Thisreflectionismeanttodevelopthatskillfulsenseofselfthroughheedfulness,becauseallskillfulqualitiesinmindcomefrombeingheedful.

Foralotofpeople,asdaysandnightsflypast,alltheycanthinkaboutis,“HowcanIcraminasmanypleasuresandmemoriesaspossible?IwanttomakesureI’mnotmissingoutonanything.”Ofcourse,whenyoudoonething,you’remissingoutonsomethingelse.Likepackingasuitcase:Themoreyoucramin,themoreotherthingsaregoingtospillout.Ifyoutaketheattitudethatthevalueoflifeliesinhavinglotsofmemories,well,weallknowwhattheprocessofmemoryislike.Westashawaycertainideas,andastheygetbroughtupfromthemindtoreflecton,eachtimeyouputthembackinthemindtheygetchanged.Afterawhileyourmemoriesgetdistortedanddeformed.Sowhat’sleft?Alotofliesthemindistellingitselfaboutthepast.Theymaylooklikegold,butthey’re

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fake.Yearsback,in1997,IwenttoAlaska,andthenIwentbackagainin2005.

Andevenallowingforthefactthatthingsdochange,stillIfoundthatmanyofmymemoriesfrom1997wereimpossible.ThingsI’drememberedfrommyfirsttripjustcouldn’thavebeenthatway,intermsofsitesIhadseen,placesIhadnoticed,detailsthathadstruckmebefore.Iwentbackandrealizedtheycouldn’thavehappened.Andsoyoubegintowonderaboutdevotingyourlifetogatheringupmemories.Afterawhile,thememoriesaretotallyworthless.

SotheBuddhadoesn’thaveyoureflecton,“WhatamIgatheringupasdaysandnightsflypast?”but,“WhatamIbecoming?”Whatkindofpersonareyoubecoming?Whatqualitiesofmindareyoudeveloping?Areyoudevelopinglaziness?Areyoudevelopingcomplacency?Orareyoudevelopingheedfulness?Areyoudevelopingmindfulness?BecauseastheBuddhasaid,thethingswetendtothinkaboutformaninclinationforthemind—oraswewouldsay,rutsforthemind:waysinwhichyoutendtoact,waysinwhichyoutendtothink,thatasyoukeeprepeatingthembecomeharderandhardertoleave.

Eachtimeyougooverthesamepattern,you’recreatingadeeperanddeeperrutinthemind.Doyouliketherutsyou’vebeencreatingforyourself?Doyoulikethewayyoutendtoact?Thisisimportant.Theytalkaboutpeoplewholosetheirmemoryastheygetolder,butmanyoftheirpersonalitytraitsarestillthere.Ifyou’vebeendevelopingkindness,compassion,andmindfulness,thenevenwhenyourmemoriesaregone,you’llstillhavesomethingvaluable.Butifyou’vebeendevelopingyourirritability,ifyou’vebeendevelopingangerorselfishness,thenthosearethequalitiesyou’llbeleftwith.Dotheyhaveanyvalue?Aretheyworthpackingupandtakingwithyouasyoumoveon?

InThailand,Iknewanumberofmeditatorswhohadgonethroughbraindamage,eitherthroughanaccidentorthroughsurgery.Oneofthem,oneofAjaanFuang’sstudents,hadbeenthroughanoperationonhisheart.Apparentlythedoctorshadclampedoffthewrongarteriesduringtheoperation,andwhenhecameoutoftheoperationherealizedthathisbrainwasn’tfunctioningthewayithadbeenbefore.Buthe’dbeendevelopingthemindfulnessandalertnessthroughhismeditationthatenabledhimtohandletheslowrecoverywithalotmoreskillandgracethanmostpeoplewould.

Soareyoudevelopingthementalskillsyou’regoingtoneedasthebodybeginstomalfunction?Orareyoudevelopingmentalattitudesandhabitsthatwillmakethingsworse?Thisisimportanttoreflecton.Itgivesyouahandleonhowbesttoapproachaging,illness,anddeath.Therearethingsyoucandoinpreparation.

Oneofthereasonsmostpeopledon’tliketothinkaboutthesethingsis

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becausetheyfeelthere’snothingtheycandotoprepare.Whenillnesscomes,wehavetogivethebodyovertothedoctors.Thedoctorswilltakecareoftheproblem—sometimes.Asfordeath,well,deathjusthappens.Youcan’treallydoanythingaboutit.Youcan’tprepare,soyoumightaswellnotthinkaboutit.That’swhatmanypeoplethink,butit’snotthecaseatall.Youcanprepare.There’saskillfulwaytodie,andtherearemany,manyunskillfulwaystodie.Theyalldependonthementalqualitiesyou’vedevelopedandwhatyou’vebeenbecoming.

Thisisoneaspectofthepracticewhereit’susefultothinkintermsofwhoyouare,whatyou’rebecoming.It’saskillfuluseofthesenseofself.It’snotthecasethateverytimeyouhaveasenseofselfit’sgoingtocauseyoutosuffer.Somewaysofthinkingaboutyourselfareactuallypartofthepath.Towardtheendofthepath,youwon’tbeneedingthemanymore.Butwhenyou’rechoosingwhattodo,youneedastrongsenseofwhat’sworthdoingandwhat’snot—whatyou’llbebenefittingfromdowntheline,whatyou’llbesufferingfromdowntheline,dependingonwhatyou’redoingrightnow.Theheedfulsenseofselfiswellworthprotectingbecauseitkeepsyouractionsinline,givesyouasenseofpriorities.Itencouragesyoutostayontheskillfulpath.

Thesedistinctionsareimportant.It’snotthecasethatnon-dualityiswherewe’reheadedorwhatwewanttodevelopalongthepath.Weneedtoseedistinctions,especiallybetweenwhat’sskillfulandwhat’snot,becausewe’remakingchoicesandtheyhavetheirimpact.Wecan’tsimplygoontheideathat,“Well,mymotivationiscompassionate,thereforeeverythingIdooutofmycompassionatemotivationisgoingtobeskillful.”Thatdoesn’tworkatall.

Youhavetoeducateyourcompassion.Therearetimeswhensomethingseemstobecompassionaterightnow,butasyoubegintolookdowntheline,yourealizeit’snottherightorwiseorevenkindthingtodo.

Thisrequiresthatyoubecareful,thatyounoticewhat’shappening.Andif,asdaysandnightsflypast,youbegintodetectsignsofcomplacency,youcandosomethingaboutit.Ifyoubegintoseesignsofmindlessness,trytodevelopmindfulnessinstead.You’vegottokeepwatchonthesethings.Afterall,withthepassageoftime,aswegetolder,wecandevelopmoreandmoreabilitiesforawhile,butthentherecomesapointwherethebodybeginstoreversedirection.Youloseabilities.Youlosestrength.Forawhileyoucanmakeadifferencebyexercisingandlookingafteryourdiet,butthey’vedonestudiestoshowthatthere’sacertainpoint,asyougetolder,thatexercisedoesn’tmakeanydifferenceanymore.Thebody’sjustgoingtodecay,regardless.Someformsofexercisethatusedtostrengthenthebodyactuallybecomebadforit.Soyouhavetobeverycareful,whileatthesametimerealizingthatyourtruewealthliesinthemind.Areyoustashingwealthintothemind?Orareyousquanderingyourmental

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wealthandreplacingitwithsandandbrokenfeathers?Areyoutradingcandyforgold?Orgoldforcandy?

There’sthatstoryintheCanonofavillagethatsuddenlyhadtobeevacuated,sothevillagersfled,leavingmanyoftheirbelongingsbehind.Afterawhile,twomenfromanearbyvillagesaid,“Let’sgocheckoutthisvillageandseewhatwasleftbehind.Maybethere’ssomethingvaluable.”Theywentthroughthehousesandfoundsomeflaxplantsthathadbeenharvestedandwerebeingpreparedtomakelinen.Becausetheseflaxplantshadsomevalue,thementiedthemupinbundlesandloadedthemontheirshoulders.Butastheywenton,theyfoundlinenthread.Andonemansaid,“Thisiswhatwewantedtheflaxplantsforanyhow,solet’sthrowawaytheflaxplantsandtakeupthelinenthreadinstead.”Thesecondmansaid,“No,Iwrappedupmyflaxplantsreallynicely.Idon’twanttoletgoofthem.”Sothefirstmanthrewawayhisflaxplantsandtookthelinenthread,whilethesecondonekepthisflaxplants.Theywentalongalittlefurtherandtheyfoundlinencloth.Thesamethinghappened.Thefirstmanthrewawayhislinenthreadtoloaduponthelinencloth,butthesecondonekepthisnicelywrappedflaxplants.Afterthelinencloth,theyfoundthingsofgreaterandgreatervalueuntiltheyfinallyranacrosscopper,silver,andgold.Sowhentheywerefinished,thesecondmanreturnedfromthevillagewithnothingbuttheflaxplantshewrappedupsonicely,whereasthefirstonecamebackwithawholeloadofgold.

Thewifeofthesecondmanwasprettyupset.Thewifeofthefirstmanwasveryhappy,becauseheknewwhattothrowawayandknewwhattokeep.

Soyouhavetoaskyourself:Doyouknowwhattothrowaway?Doyouknowwhattokeep?Whatareyougatheringup?Areyougatheringupjustmemories?Orareyougatheringupskills?Theskillsaregold.Thememoriesareflaxplants.Thegoldisgoingtobehelpfulastheinevitablehappens—asthebodygrowsill,asitages,asitbeginstoloseitsfunctionsandfinallydies.Thequalitiesofthemindyou’vebeendevelopingaregoingtobeyourgold.

Sowhathabitsareyougatheringupasdaysandnightsflypast?That’swhatyou’rebecomingasdaysandnightsflypast.Thisisoneofthereasonswhywetrytogetthemindintoastateofcomfortandease,sothatwecanthinkaboutthesethingsclearly,helpfully—sothatwe’llrecognizegoldwhenweseeit.Andwe’llknowhowtogetthemostoutofit.

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TheWisdomofWisingUpFebruary15,2011

WhenyoumeditateduringaDhammatalk,payverylittleattentiontothetalk.Giveyourprimaryattentiontothemeditation,towhatyou’redoingrightnow:focusingonthebreath.Ifyoufindthemindwanderingoff,bringitback.Thetalkhelpsyourealizewhenyou’vewanderedoff.Itactslikeafence.Ifyourunupagainstthefence,youcomebacktothebreath.Italsohelpspointoutthingsyoumightnoticeinthebreath,waysyoucandealwiththebreathtohelpthemindtosettledownandfeelsecureandhappy.

Thiscantaketime,gettingthemindandthebreathtosettledowntogether.Duringthatperiodofsettlingdown,themindcangetdiscouragedandbored.Itcanfindallsortsofreasonsfornotstayinginthepresent,whichabortstheprocess.Tosettlethemindtakesnotonlytimebutalsoasfewinterruptionsaspossible.Ultimately,though,themindcanbegintonoticethattheactoffocusingonthebreathdoesgiveitabetterplacetostay.Asresultsgraduallybuild,thebreathgrowssmoother.Theenergyinthebodyhasfewerconflicts.Itseemstoflowinharmonyanditprovidesagood,stableplacetostay.Themindisabletosettledownmorequicklyandsecurely.

Givingthemindagoodfoundationallowsittoreallyseeclearlywhatit’sdoingandtoseewhereit’smademistakes.There’salottolearnfrommistakes,andyetmostofusdon’tlikelookingatthem.Wepretendtheydidn’thappen.Ifsomethinginlifegoesbadly,wetendtoblameotherfactors,eitherotherpeopleorthingstotallybeyondourcontrol.Therearetimeswhenproblemsdocomefromoutside,butthosearen’ttheonesthatcausethemostsuffering,andthey’renottheonesyou’reresponsiblefor.You’reresponsiblefortheareaswhereyoucanmakechoices.That’swhatyouwanttolookfor.

TheBuddhaoncesaidthatoneofthesignsofwisdomisrecognizingyourownfoolishness,seeingwhereyou’vemademistakes.Thatgivesyouanopportunitytochangeyourways.Ashesays,“Afoolwhorecognizeshisownfoolishnessistothatextentwise.”Eventhen,therearefoolishandwisewaysoflookingatyourownfoolishness.Tosay,“Iamafool,”closesoffalotofopportunities.Ifyou’reafool,whatareyougoingtodo?There’snotmuchroomforself-improvement.Tellingyourself,“I’vebeenafool,”though,opensthepossibilitythatyoucanchangeyourways.So,howdoyourecognizeyou’vebeen

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afool?Youseetheconsequencesofyouractions.Youdidsomethinganditcausedharm,eithertoyourselfortootherpeople,andyetyouhadachoice.Youdidn’thavetochoosetodothatfoolishaction.Recognizingchoicesandrecognizingtheconsequencesofyourchoicesteachestheimportantprinciplethatthemindneedstobetrainedsoitcanmakebetterchoices.Alwayskeepthisinmind.It’sthebeginningofwisdom.

Whatcausesyoutomakewrongchoices?Threemainthings:faultyintentions,faultyperceptions,orpayingattentiontothewrongthings.Askyourself:“Whatwasmyperceptionofthesituation?Whyorhowwasitwrong?WhatsignalswerecomingmywaythatIdidn’tpayattentionto?”Sometimesyoumayhavereadthesituationandsignalsveryaccurately,yetyoustillproceededwithwhatyouwantedtodo.Thatwasyourintention.That’stheelementofwill.

Soyoucaninvestigatethreemainquestions:“WhatamIpayingattentionto?Whatismyperception?Whatismyintention?”Asmeditators,welearnhowtoexploreallthreeofthesequestions.

First,we’retaughttopayattentiontowherethere’ssufferingandwhat’scausingit.Thiscanstartonablatantlevelinanyareaoflifeandthenmoveintothemind.Whilemeditating,considerwhatwaysofbreathingandfocusingonthebreatharecausingstress.

Asyou’repayingattentiontotheissueofstress,youcanmovetoquestionsofperception,askingyourselfhowyourperceptionsareactingasacauseofstress,andhowtheymightbeconvertedtoactasthepathtoitsend.Youmightask:“IsthisstresscausedbythewayIperceivethebreath?WhatkindofmentalpicturedoIhaveofthebreathingprocess?Howdoesthataddtothestress?Wheredoesitcreatebarriersinthebodythatpreventthebreathenergyfromflowingineasily?”

Ifyouperceivethebodyasabellowswithonlyatinyholewherethebreathcancomein,howaboutchangingtheperceptiontoonewhereallyourporesareholeswherethebreathcancomeinandoutsoyoudon’thavetopullitinorpushitout?Also,thinkofthebreathpermeatingeverywhereinthebody,likewaterinasponge.Youcanfindotherwaysofperceiving,too.Tryasking:“Whenthebreathcomesin,whatdirectiondoesitflowinthebody?Doesitflowup?Ifit’sflowingup,isitcausingheadaches?”Ifthat’sthecase,letitflowdown.There’safamousZenmonkofcenturiespast,Hakuin,whobegansufferingfromwhathecalled“Zensickness.”Basically,itwasexcessenergygoingupintohishead.Hiswayofcuringitwastothinkofahugeballofbutterontopofhisheadgraduallymelting.Eachtimehebreathedin,theperceptionofmeltingbutterallowedthebreathenergytoflowdown.

Thosearequestionsofperception.Thentherearequestionsofintention.Asyou’remeditating,you’redealingverydirectlywithintention.Areallthe

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membersofthecommitteeonboardwiththedesiretostaywiththebreath?Whichonesaren’t?Whenthey’renotonboard,wheredotheywanttowander?Whataretheylookingfor?Why?

TheBuddhasaidtotrytogetthemindtosettledowninrightconcentration,youhavetosecludeitfromunskillfulqualities.Youhavetosecludeitfromsensuality.Sensualitymeansyourobsessionwiththinkingaboutandplanningsensualpleasures.Alltoooften,whenthemindfindsithasanopportunityofawholehourwithnootherresponsibilities,itwantstothinkaboutsights,sounds,smells,tactilesensations,andflavors.Allkindsofthings:planningtomorrow’smealorreflectingontoday’smeal.Remindyourself,“Thatdoesn’treallyaccomplishanything.”TheBuddhaoncesaid,“Ifyoufindyourselfobsessedwithsensuality,you’dbebetteroffsleeping.”Heneverreallyencouragedsleepthatmuch,butthisisonecasewheresleepisthepreferablealternative—betterthanobsessingoversensuality.

Stillbetterisgettingthemindoutofthesensualrealmandintotherealmofform—yoursenseofthebodyfromtheinside—whichiswhatyou’redevelopingwhileyou’reworkingwiththebreathenergyinthebody.So,ifyoufindthemindwanderingofftosensualpleasures,remindyourself,“Thisisnotthetimeforthat.”Ifit’sreallyobsessed,youcanremindyourselfofallthedangersthatcomefromsensuality.TherearemanypassagesintheCanonwheretheBuddhadescribesorgivesexamplesandanalogiestoundercuttheglamourandtheallurethatsensualpleasureshaveforus.They’relikeadropofhoneyonthebladeofaknife.They’relikeborrowedgoodsthattheownerscantakebackatanytime.Thinkingabouttheseanalogiescanhelpbringtoyoursenses.

Hesaidyoualsohavetosecludethemindfromunskillfulqualities.Thiscoverseverythingfromwrongviews,wrongresolves,anyofthepathfactorsthatarewrong,thatinvolvethoughtsofcrueltyorillwill.Evenwhenpeoplebehaveunjustly,youhavetolearnhowtosetasidethoughtsofrevenge,becausetheyaccomplishnothinggood.Remindyourselfthatwhatotherpeopledoistheirkamma;whatyoudoisyourkamma.Youcan’tultimatelyberesponsiblefortheirkamma;however,youcanberesponsibleforyourownactions.So,youspreadthoughtsofgoodwill:thoughtsthattheymaybehappy,andespeciallythattheymayunderstandthecausesfortruehappinessandthenreallyactonthem.That’sathoughtyoucanextendeventopeoplewhoarereallycruel.Infact,youespeciallywanttoextendthattocruelpeoplesothatinsteadoffocusingongettingrevengeorretribution,youopenyourmindtothequestionofwhatyoumightdoorsaythatwouldactuallygetthemtochangetheirways.Thatwayyourintentionsbecomemoreskillful.

Sometimesit’sgoodtodopreventivestrikesonwrongresolvesbeforeyousettledown.Ifyouknowthatthemindhasbeenobsessingaboutaparticular

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thoughtduringtheday,you’vegottodosomeantidotethinkingtoprythemindloose.Othertimes,youmayrealizetheproblemsonlyafteryou’vestartedsettlingdownwiththebreath.Somethingspringsupunexpectedlyfromjustbelowthesurface.Forinstance,youmaystartthinkingaboutthingsyoudidorsaidinthepastthatyoureallyregret.Inthatcase,spreadthoughtsofgoodwilltowhoeveryouharmed.Resolvenottorepeatthatmistake,andthengetbacktothebreath,realizingthatamindwell-centered,withagoodsolidfoundation,ismuchmorelikelytobeabletosticktoitsskillfulintentionsandresults.

Inthisway,asyoumeditate,youlearnthelessonsthathelpyouwiseupafterrealizingyou’vebeenfoolish.Strengthentheselessonsbylookingatyourintentions,attention,andperceptions,andrealizethatthesegovernyouractions.Remember:Whatyoudoiswhatmatters.There’sacleardistinctionbetweenskillfulandunskillful.Youdon’twanttoactinunskillfulways.You’veseentheharm.

Thisisthewisdomofwisingup:recognizingwhenyou’vebeenafoolinanyway.Thelessonsimplicitinthatwisdomincludebelievingthatchoicesarereal;theyhaverealconsequences;thosechoicesdependonviews,whichinturnarebasedonperceptions,attention,andintentions,whatyouwouldliketoachievethroughyouractions.Theseareallimportantlessons.ThisiswhytheBuddhafocusesontheseelementsasbeingcrucialtowhatshapesyourlifesoyoucanstartshapingitinawiseway.

WhenyouconsidertheBuddha’steachings—forexample,thefournobletruths,thethreecharacteristics,thefivehindrances—it’seasytodismissthemasculturalrelicsorsomebody’spersonalproclivity.Whynotfiveorthreenobletruths?Whydoeshefocusontheseparticularteachings?Whyfocusonsuffering?Wastheresomethingabouthisculturethatkepthimfromseeingthebeautyoflife?Remember,though,thatallofhisteachingshavetheirrootsinsomeverycommonhumanexperiences,inparticular,thewisdomofwisingup.It’saboutseeingwhenyou’vebeenafool.It’snotthatyouareafoolbutyou’vebeenfoolish.Keepthatdistinctioninmindanduseittotakeheedofthelessonsyoucanlearnfromhavingbeenfoolish.Makethemostofanyopportunitiestoovercomethispastfoolishnessandtoactwisely.That’swhenyougetintouchwiththerootvaluesthatledtheBuddhatoteachthewayhedidandtofocusonthethingshefocusedon.Youseehowwisehereallywas.

Sotakethatwisdomofwisingupandseehowfaritcango.

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LivingForward,UnderstandingBackwardMarch7,2007

Asafamousthinkeroncesaid,thebasicprobleminlifeisthatweliveforwardbutunderstandbackward.Inotherwords,wemakedecisionsthataregoingtohaveanimpactonthefuture,butwedon’tknowthefuture,andoftenwedon’tknowwhatthatimpactwillbe.Allweknowiswhat’shappenedinthepast,andsometimeswedon’tevenknowthatverywell,becauseourmemorygetsfogged,distorted.Psychologistshaveobservedthatmostpeopletendtorepeatdecisionstheymadeinthepasteventhoughthedecisionsdidn’treallymakethemhappy.Weforget,wethoughtitwouldmakeushappythelasttimearound,anditdidn’t.Well,wetryitagainandagain.Inotherwords,it’sEinstein’sdefinitionofinsanity:doingthesamethingbutexpectingdifferentresults.

Soit’sanormalpartofourlivesthatwe’regoingtomakemistakes,makedecisionsthatwehopewillleadtohappiness,togoodsituations,andthentheyturnoutleadingtosomethingelse.Ifwedon’twanttobeinsane,wehavetolearnhowtolearnfromourmistakes.Thefirststepindoingthat,though,istopreventasmanymistakesaspossible.Wedothatbybeingasobservantaspossible.

Thisisoneofthereasonswhywemeditate:togetridofasmuchdelusionaswecan,totrytobemoremindful,morealert.Mindfulnessisbasicallytheabilitytostrengthenyourmemory—inthiscase,youractivememory.Ifyouwanttodosomething,youkeepremindingyourselftodoit.Yousensethatit’sgoingtobeagoodthing,thatitwillbeinyourinterest,soyoudon’tforget.Don’tgetdistractedbyotherideasorotherintentions.

Asforalertness,that’swhatenablesyoutopaycloseattentiontowhatyou’reactuallydoing.

Sowhilewe’refocusedonthebreath,we’redevelopingmindfulnessandalertness,andaqualitycalledardency,whichmeansthedesirethat,whateveryoudo,youtrytodoskillfully.Inthiscase,trytorelatetothebreathinaskillfulway.Trytonoticewhatinthepastworkedingettingthemindtosettledownwiththebreath,whatdidn’twork,andseeifthesameobservationsapplynow.Sometimestheywill;sometimesyoubegintorealizethatwhatyouobservedthelasttimearoundwasadifferentsituationoryoudidn’tobserveitcarefullyenough.So

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you’vegottobemoreobservantthistimearound.Butthebasicprincipleisaslongasyou’reobservantnow,youcanjudgethesethingsastowhat’sworking,what’snot.

Asyougetclearerandcleareraboutwhatyou’redoingintermsofyourthoughts,words,anddeeds,it’saloteasierthentoseetheconnectionsbetweenyouractionsandtheirresults.WhentheBuddhagaveinstructionstohisson,hetoldhim:Firstthing,beforeyoudoorsayorthinkanything,askyourselfwhattheresultsaregoingtobe.Ifit’ssomethingyou’vedonebefore,youcanprettymuchanticipatetheresults.Ifyourealizedinthepastthatthatkindofactionledtoharm,don’tdoitagain.Ifyourememberthatitledtoharmbutyougoaheadanyhow,that’sthekindofmistakeyoureallyregret,becauseit’sgoingtoleadtoharmagaineventhoughyoushouldhaveknownbetter.

Thereareessentiallytwokindsofmistakes:blameworthymistakes—theoneswhereyouknewbetterbutyouwentaheadanddiditanyhow—andmistakesthatareblameless,becauseyoudidn’tknow.Whenyoudon’tknow,youtrytofigureitoutandthenactonwhatyouthinkisyourbestintention,whatseemsmostlikelytoleadtohappinessandleastlikelytoleadtoharm.Now,ifyounoticethat,asyou’refollowingthroughwiththeaction,itdoesactuallyleadtoharm,youstop.You’renotcommittedtocontinuingwithamistake.Ifyoudon’tseeanyharmcomingfromtheaction,carrythroughwithit.Whenit’sdone,reflectbackonwhattheactualresultswere.Ifyouseethatitledtoanyunintendedharm,youmaketheresolvenottorepeatthatmistake,andtalkitoverwithsomeoneelsewhoisfurtheralongonthepath,toseewhatinsightstheyhavetooffer.If,however,youseethattherewasnoharmatall,takejoyinthefactthatyou’reonthepathandtrainingyourselfwell.Thenkeepupwiththetraining.

So,ontheonehand,youtrytopreventtherepeatofpastmistakes,butatthesametimeyourealizethereisthepossibilitythatyou’regoingtomakefurthermistakesinthefuture,becausetherearelotsofconditions,lotsofsituationsthatyoureallycan’tforesee,inwhichcaseyoutrytogowithyourownskillfulintentionsasmuchasyoucan.Thisisanotherreasonwhywemeditate:tostrengthentheskillfulintentionsinthemind,theintentionsthatarenotwoundupingreed,aversion,ordelusion.Greedandaversionarefairlyeasytosee.Delusionishard—becauseafterall,whenyou’redeluded,youdon’tknowyou’redeluded.Youdon’treallyknowthetruth.Theonlywayaroundthatistokeepyourpastmistakesinmindandtolearnfromthem.

Soalargepartofthepracticeislearninghowtotakemistakesinstride.TheBuddhasaysyoushouldfeelshameoveryourmistakes,butnotthekindofshamewhereyoufeelyou’reahorribleperson.Headviseshealthyshame:theshamewhereyourealizeyoudidsomethingthatwasbeneathyou,thatwasnot

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appropriateforyou.Youdon’twanttorepeatthatmistake.Thiskindofshameisafacetofhealthypride.It’snotdebilitating.

TheBuddhateachesthesameattitudearoundissuesofremorse.Yourealizeyou’vemademistakesinthepast.Hedoesn’thaveyoudwellonthembeyondjustrecognizingthattheyweremistakes.Youremindyourselfthathoweverguiltyyoumayfeelaboutthemistake,thesenseofguiltisnotgoingtogobackanderasethemistake.Thebestyoucandoistoresolvenottorepeatit.Ifyoudwellontheguilt,it’llsapyourresolve.So,instead,youtrytostrengthenskillfulqualitiesinthemind—inparticular,theattitudeswechantedjustnow:unlimitedgoodwill,unlimitedcompassion,unlimitedempatheticjoy,unlimitedequanimity.Inotherwords,putyourselfinapositionwhereyoucanmaintaintheseattitudestowardanybodyatanytime,wheneverappropriate.Don’tlettheseattitudesbelimitedbyyourlikesanddislikes.

Basicallyyoustartoutwithgoodwill.Remindyourselfthatthere’snoneedtoseeanybodyintheworldsuffer,becausewhenpeoplearesuffering,that’swhentheytendtodoevilthings.Theyfeelthreatened;theyfeelattacked;theyfeelthey’reinaweakpositionandsotheystrikeout.Sonomatterhowmuchyoumaydislikeaparticularperson,there’sreallynogoodreasontowishillforthatperson.Thewiseattitudeistowishthatthatpersonfindtruehappiness.Ifheorshecouldfindtruehappinesswithin,thedisagreeablebehaviorthatheorsheisengaginginwouldfallaway.Atthesametime,ifyoucandevelopgoodwillforeverybody,it’salotharderforyoutoharmpeople,yourselforanyoneelse.Itstrengthensyourresolvenottorepeatyourmistake.

Thesamewithcompassion:Youwanttobeabletofeelitforanyone,regardless.Compassioniswhatgoodwillfeelstowardpeoplewhoaresuffering,orwhoarecreatingthecausesforsuffering.Youdon’twanttopilemoresufferingontopofthem.Ifyoufindyourselfinapositionwhereyoucanhelp,goahead.You’rehappytohelp.Ifyou’renotinapositiontohelp,youextendthatwish—maytheyberelievedfromsuffering—sothatmaybesomeday,ifyoudofindyourselfinapositionwhereyoucanhelp,youcancarrythrough.

Asforempatheticjoy,that’swhatgoodwillfeelsforpeoplewhoarehappyorwhoarecreatingthecausesforhappiness.Youremindyourselfnottobejealousoftheirhappiness.Youdon’tresenttheirhappiness.Trytoputyourselfintheirplace.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,ifyouseesomebodyreallymiserableandsuffering,remindyourself:You’vebeenthere.Ifyouseealeperonthesideoftheroad,stickingaburningstickintohiswoundsbecausetheyhurtsomuch,tryingtonumbthesensationoftheitch,remindyourself:You’vebeenthere.Whenyouseesomeonewho’sreallywealthyandpowerful,remindyourself:You’vebeenthere,too.Thisshouldprovokeasenseofdismayovertheupsanddownsofthiswanderingon.

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Butwhatitalsomeansisthatwhenyouseesomebodysuffering,remindyourselfthatyou’renotnecessarilyabetterpersonthantheyare.Andyou’renotimmunetothatsufferinginthefuture.Soyoudowhatyoucantohelp.Whensomeone’shappy,remindyourselfthatyou’vebeenthere,too.Whateverthehappinessmaybe,it’sboundtopass.Andthehappinessyouseeinotherpeopleisnotasignthattheyhavemoregoodkammathanyoudo.There’snosuchthingasasinglekammaaccountforeachperson,andwhatyouseeisnottherunningbalanceinthatsingleaccount.Weallhavelotsofdifferentactionsinthepast,andthoseactionsarelikeseedsthatwillsproutatdifferenttimes.Someofthemtakealongtime;someofthemtakeashorttime.Whenyoulookatyourpresentcondition,oranyoneelse’spresentcondition,youdon’tseetheunsproutedseeds.There’snotellingwhatthey’llyieldwhentheysprout.Soaperson’spresenthappinessisnoindicatorofwhatkarmicpotentialsheorshehasinstore—whichmeansthatthere’snoneedtobejealousofanyoneelse’spresenthappiness.

Finally,equanimityisforthesituationsyoureallycan’thelp,aswhensomeoneisreallysufferingandthere’sreallynothingyoucandoforthem.Youhavetodevelopequanimity.Thisisnotahardheartedequanimity,it’sjustthatyourealizeyoucan’tletyourhappinessriseandfallwiththeirs,becauseyou’vegototherthingsyouneedtodo,otherareaswhereyoucanbeofhelp.Youwanttofocusonthose.

Thetrickwithalltheseemotionsislearninghowtodevelopthemwhenyouneedthem.Alltoooftenourattitudetowardouremotionsisthatthey’reagiven.But,astheBuddhapointedout,you’realreadyshapingyouremotions,whichmeansyoucanchangethewayyoushapethem.Thisisanimportantskill:thatyoubeabletofeelgoodwillforanyoneatanytimewhenit’scalledfor;thatyoucanfeelcompassionandempatheticjoyanytimeforanyonewhenit’scalledfor;thatyoucandevelopequanimityevenincaseswherepeopleareclosetoyou,youwantverymuchtohelpthem,butyoucan’t.You’vegottodevelopequanimityfortheirsuffering.Andthisrequiresskill.

Thisisanotherthingwelearnthroughmeditation.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,ouremotionsareafabrication.They’recreatedinthemind.They’renotnecessarilyagiven.Whataretheymadeoutof?Physically,they’reaffectedbythebreath.Insidethemind,theyareaffectedbythekindofconversationsthemindhaswithitself,andalsobyfeelingsofpleasureandpain,neitherpleasurenorpain,andperceptions—thelabelsweputonthings.Aswemeditate,we’relearninghowtobemoreconsciousofthesefactorssothatwecanturnthemintherightdirection.Ifyoubreathewithmoreknowledgeandalertness,ithelpstodevelopmoreskillfulemotions.Becausewhatisanemotion?It’sathoughtthatgetsinyourbody.Ithasanimpactonyourheartrateandotherphysical

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processes.Well,theimpactcomesthroughthebreath.Soifyoucanlearnhowtogetintouchwithyourbreathandcansmoothoutthebreath,sootheoutthebreathwhenitgetserraticordisturbed,thenyouhaveagroundingfordevelopingskillfulemotionsandembodyingskillfulemotions,sothey’renotjustthoughts.Youfeeltheminyourbody.

Asforyourperceptions:Youlearntolookattheworldinawaythatmakesiteasiertodeveloptheseattitudes.Thisisalsoaprocessthatyoulearnhowtomasterthroughthemeditationasyouperceivethebreath,say,inthedifferentpartsofthebody,perceivehowitcanbespreadaround,perceivehowthebreathcanbeawhole-bodyprocess,perceivevariouswaysofvisualizingthebreath,visualizingthewayyourelatetothebreath.Ifyoulearnhowtochangethesethingsconsciously,itgetseasiertoconsciouslychangeotherperceptionsinday-to-daylifeaswell.Thatwayyoucanactuallyturnyouremotionsintheproperdirection.

Thishasanimpactontheissueofmistakesinseveralways.One,ifyoucangetmoreskillfulinhowyourelatetootherpeople,howyourelatetoyourself,you’relesslikelytomaketheparticularkindsofmistakesthatwouldobviouslydoharm.Asformistakesthatyoucan’thelpsimplybecauseyoucouldn’tseewhatwasgoingtohappeninthefuture,there’sapassagewheretheBuddhasaidthatthosekindsofmistakes,ifyoulearnhowtodeveloptheseunlimitedattitudes,don’tcarrythatmuchkarmicimpact,becauseyourbasicattitudedoesn’thavelimits.Therearenolimitsonyourgoodwill,nolimitsonyourcompassion,nolimitsonyourempatheticjoy,oryourequanimity.Whenyourmindisbroadenedinthisway,thentheimpactoflimitedpasteventsjustdoesn’thititsohard.

Evenmoresoasyoudevelopmoreconcentrationanddiscernment:Youbegantoseparatethemindfromitsobjects.Inotherwords,whenpainarises,you’reawareofthepain,butyoudon’thavetoidentifywiththepain,orwiththeperceptionthatsays,“mypain.”Youcancutrightthroughitandyoufindthatlettingitdropmakesahugedifference.

Orevenjusttheperceptionof“pain”:Youlearnhowtoquestionthat.Youlearntoseewhenaparticularperceptioncomeswhen,forexample,there’spaininyourlegs.Howdoyouvisualizethatpain?Howdoyourelatetothepain?Whereareyouinrelationshiptothepain?Startaskingthesequestions,andyoubegintorealizehowstrangesomeofyourperceptionsare.Manytimesyoucomeupwithunexpectedanswers,whereyoucatchyourselfportrayingthepaininyourmindassomethingwithawillofitsown.Whenyoustopandthinkaboutit,yourealizethat,ofcourse,itdoesn’thaveawill,it’sjustthere,it’samalfunctionofthebody.Anditdoesn’thaveashape.Thepainalsomovesaroundquitealot,changesalotmorequicklythanwetendtoassume.Youbegin

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toseehowyourassumptionsshapeyourexperienceofthings.Thatmeansyoucanconsciouslychangeyourassumptions,changeyourperceptions,sothatyoudon’thavetosuffersomuch.

Thisgivesyoutheskilltodealwithwhatevercomes.Whenyouhavethatkindofskill,youcanhavealotmoreconfidence,knowingthatevenifyoudomakeunintendedmistakes,youhavetheskilltodealwiththeresults.Inotherwords,themoremindfulness,themorealertness,themoreconcentrationanddiscernmentyoucandevelopnow,thelesslikelyyouaretomakemistakes.Evenwhenyoudomakemistakes,youcanlivewiththemmoreeasilywithoutbeingharmedbythem.

Buddhismisunusualamongtheworld’sreligionsinadmittingthatitwasfoundedbysomeonewhoknewhehadmademistakes.TheBuddhawasahumanbeingjustlikeus.Throughmanyyearsofhismanylives,heknewhehadmadelotsofmistakesbuthelearnedhowtolearnfromthosemistakes.That’swhatmadeallthedifference.Thismeansthatheknewwhatit’sliketomakeamistake,toregretmakingmistakes,tobeinthepositionoflivingforwardbutonlyunderstandingbackwards.Andsofromhisexperienceoflearninghowtoovercomethosedifficulties,hegivesuswiseadviceonnotonlytryingtopreventasmanymistakesasyoucan,butalsolearninghowtolivewithmistakes,becausethat’swhatlifeisfullof.Weoftenmakemistakes.Ifwetakethemasanopportunitytolearnratherthanareasontogointostrongguiltorstrongdenial,wecanbenefitfromthem.Themoreclearlyyouseeandunderstandwhat’sgoingonrightnow,thenthelesslikelyitisthatthechoicesyoumakerightnowaregoingtocauseharmonintothefuture.

Soinsteadoffocusingforwardorbackward,welearnsomethingfromlookingbackandthenfocusingbackonNowasmuchaspossible,becauseeverythingcomestogetherrighthereandnow.Everythingcomesoutofrighthere.Soasyougothroughlife,trytobringasmuchattentionaspossibletothequalityofmindthatunderliesyourdecisionsrighthere,rightnow.Makeitisasskillfulaspossible,rememberingpastmistakes,rememberingpastrightdecisions,andlearninghowtoliveskillfullywiththeresultsofboth.

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AweJanuary21,2010

Whenweusethephrase,“goingoutintotheelements,”we’renotusuallytalkingaboutwarmbreezesofamildspringday.We’retalkingaboutwhenthewind,water,earth,andfireareshowingtheirextremes—liketonight,withthecoldwindandrain,thethunder,thelightning.Thisisactuallyathemeofmeditation:thinkingaboutthephysicalelements,abouthowhugeandawesometheyare.Theperceptionoftheelementsgoestogetherwiththeperceptionofwildernessasawayofcleansingthemindofitssmalleverydayconcerns,theconcernsthatotherwiseloomsolarge.Theseperceptionshelpyourealizehowsmallyouare,orattheveryleasthowsmallyourbodyis:yourlittlebundleofearth,wind,water,andfirerighthere.

That’soneofthereasonstheBuddharecommendsgoingoutintothewilds,intotheelements.It’sawayofgainingperspective.Forinstance,hetalksaboutleavingavillageandgoingoutintothewilds:Yousitdownandyouholdinmindtheperceptionthatyou’reoutinthewilderness,andit’saverydifferentperceptionfrombeinginthevillagewithhumanbeings.WhetherthevillageisasmallvillageinThailandortheglobalvillageonyourTV,youcomeouthereandthoseconcernsjustdropaway.Youthinkofyourselfbeingsurroundedbynature,surroundedbywilderness.Itcanbearefreshingperception,butitalsocarriesanedge.Wildernessisbigandcontainsdangers.Yourealizehowsmallyourbodyis,andhowvulnerable,andyoufeelasenseofawe.

Thataweisausefulemotion.It’sveryclosetosamvega.Infact,oneofthemeaningsofsamvegaisfear,awe,orterror.It’soneoftheprimaryemotionsinthepractice:realizinghowvulnerablethebodyis,andasaresult,howvulnerableyourmindis.Thisbodythatyoucaresomuchfor,thatyou’velookedaftersinceyouwereabletolookafterit,alltheseyears:It’ssuchasmallthing.Thewindwehadtodaycouldhavereachedthepointoftornadoes,andwhoknowswherethetornadoesmighthavelanded.Theycouldhavewipedoutthemonastery,wipedoutotherpeople’shomesandbusinesses.

Andthat’sjustthewind.Theraincanwashwholehillsidesaway.Therehavebeenfiresthathavecomethroughtheimmediateareaandhaveburnedthousandsofacres.WhenIfirstsawthefirethatforcedustoevacuatethemonasterythreeyearsago,myfirstthoughtwas:“Nature’stryingtokillus.”

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There’vebeenearthquakes.Thesethingshappenallovertheworld.Whenweseetheresultsof,say,anearthquake,it’sshocking,realizingthat

weliveonanearththat,withasmallshrug,candothistohumanbeings.Assoonasyoulayclaimtothephysicalelementsofabody,you’reexposedtothephysicalelementsoftheworld,regardlessofwhereyouare,andthoseoutsideelementscancrushthebodywithoutamoment’sthought.

Whenyou’reoutinthewilderness,you’reevenmoreconsciousofthatfact.Yearsback,IwasupinAlaska,campingattheArcticcircle,andeventhoughitwassummer—whichmeantthatitwasrelativelymild—therewasstillaverystrongsensethatforhundredsofmilesaroundtherewasjustnothingbutnatureandmorenature—andnaturedidn’tcareaboutyouatall.Youcoulddieanditwouldbetotallyindifferent.Thatgaverisetoasenseofawe.Itwasarealhelpinpracticingconcentration,ingettingthemindtosettledown.Ontheonehand,thedisturbancesofbeinginvolvedinhumansocietywerenotthere.Butontheother,natureseemedsomuchbiggerandimplacable.Downhereinthelower48,wildernessisjustlittleislandssurroundedbyaseaofcivilization.Upthere,it’stheotherwayaround.Civilizationislittleislandsandthewildernessisthesea.It’sallaround,andverysobering.Thatkindofsoberingthoughtisveryusefulinthemeditation,forithelpstostillthemind.

Sariputtarecommendsasimilarreflection:Thinkaboutthedifferentphysicalelementsinthebody.Yourealizethattheseelementsarethesameelementsyouseeoutsidewhenthere’sastorm,awildfire,anearthquake,aflood.Whenthoseelementsoutsidecanchangeinsuchradicalways,whataboutthislittlebodyyou’vegothere,composedofthesameelements?Isthereanythingconstantthere?Anythingyoucanreallylayholdtoasyourselforyours?Andinresponsetothatquestion,hesays,thebodyhasonlyaNo.Itdeniesyourdesireforownership.

Soit’susefultodevelopthissenseofawe.Ithelpsputthingsintoperspective,thatthesethingsweholdonto—thephysicalbody,theaffairsofourdailylives,theupsanddowns,theconcernsaboutwhatthispersonthinks,whatthatpersonsays,what’sgoingtohappentome,what’sgoingtohappentothepeopleIlove—areeventuallyallgoingtodie.Inonewayoranother,theelementsaregoingtotakeover.They’regoingtotakeeverythingback.Thesethingswe’veclaimedtobe“us”or“ours”aregoingtoshowthattheyknownothingofourclaims.Theyhavenorespectforourclaims.Thatthoughtfocusesyouinside:Whatdoyouhave?You’vegotjustyourawareness.You’vegotthemind.Whatshapeisthemindin?

Fortunately,theBuddhadoesn’tleaveusstrandedhere.AlltoooftenintheWest,thissenseofaweisleftsimplyasanaestheticsenseoravaguereligiousfeeling.ButtheBuddhagivesyoufurtherinstructionsonwhattodowithit.Take

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thatsenseoftheearthandthinkjustoftheearthnessoftheearth—orthewindnessofthewind.Don’tfocusonanyofthelittledetails.Maketheearthnessofearth,andhowvastitis,theobjectofyourconcentration.Allowyourawarenesstotakeonsomeofthatvastnessandthenlearnhowtoholditthere.

Iftheelementsseemthreatening,thinkofthevastnessofspace,thespacethatpenetratesallofthisactivityofthewindandfireandrain.Spacepenetratesthewallsofthemeditationhall,thefloor,theroof,everything.There’sspaceinalldirections,allaroundus.Learnhowtoholdthatperception.Thatcanformabasisforconcentration,andconcentrationofthatsortcanputthemindintherightstatetoreflectonthingsintheirproperperspective:tolookatwhereyouclingtothings,andwhatmightbeinyourbestinteresttoletgo.Ifyou’relookingforyourhappinessinsomethingthattheelementscoulddestroy,don’tthinkyouhaveaspecialpactwiththem.They’relargeandoverwhelminganddon’tgiveadamn.

Butyoucanescapetheirinfluence;youcanescapetheirpower.That’swhywe’repracticinghere:tofindsomethingthat’snotsubjecttoallthiswindandrainandthemovementoftheearth,thepotentialforfire.Thisisaveryusefulcontemplationonnot-self:theundependabilityoftheelements,thestressoftryingtofindhappinessinsomethingthattheseelementscoulddestroy.Evenifit’snotyetbeingdestroyedoutright,theseelementsarejustwearingaway,wearingawaytheelementsofthebody,thefacultiesofthebody,ourabilitiestoseeandsmellandtasteandhear.Tothinkinthesewaysreallyhelpsustoletgooftheattachmentsthatarecausingussuffering,thatweightheminddown.

Sohereweareinthemidstofastorm.Butthere’ssomethingdeepinsidethatdoesn’thavetosufferfromthestorm,doesn’thavetobethreatenedbythestorm.Eventhoughwemayreflectontheawesomenessofthepowersofnatureandhowhugetheyare,thereissomethinginthemindthat’sevenmoreenormous,moresolid,thantheyare.Itcanbefoundthroughourownefforts,anditoffersasecuritythatyoucan’tfindinanyplace—becauseit’soutsideofplaces.There’sarecurrentphraseintheCanonofthearahant’sbeing“releasedeverywhere,”whichmeansreleasedfromeverywhere,everyplace.Thatidea’sawesome,too.Therealityofit,onceyou’vetouchedit,isevenmoreawesomethantheidea.

It’salwayshelpfultokeepthesethoughtsinmind.

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Conviction&ConfidenceAugust22,2010

AjaanSuwatusedtorecommendthatwhenyoustartmeditating,trytodevelopanattitudeofconfidenceandclarity.Thosearethemeaningsoftheword,pasada.Thenhe’dsaytocombinethatattitudewithconviction,orsaddha—convictionthatyou’redoingsomethingreallyworthwhile.We’renotherejustgoingthroughthemotions.We’reworkingonsomethingthat’sreallygood:trainingthemind.Whethertheresultscomequicklyorslowlyisnottheissue.We’reworkingonsomethingthat’snoble.There’sdignitytowhatwe’redoing.We’resteppingbackfromourusualconcerns,ourusualappetites,andlookingcarefullyattheimplicationsofouractions,realizingthatifwe’regoingtoactinawaythat’sresponsible,wereallyhavetotakeresponsibilityforourminds.Andthat’swhatmeditationis:takingresponsibilityforyourmind.

Soyouneedtheconvictionthatthisisworthwhileandtheconfidencethatitcanbedone.Thewordconvictiontraditionallycoversfourthings.ThefirstthreeareconvictionthattheBuddhareallywasawakened,convictionthathisDhammaiswell-taught,andconvictionthattheSanghaofnoblediscipleshaspracticedwell—inotherwords,theyhavepracticedinsuchawaythatthey’vereachedawakening,too.Whenconvictioninthesethreethingsisconfirmedbyyourfirsttasteofawakening,itissuesinafourthquality,whichisthatyourpreceptsareclean.Inotherwords,you’refirmlyestablishedinthefiveprecepts.

Soeventhoughyourpracticemaynothavereachedthepointwhereyourconvictionisverified,thatyou’vereallyseenthatthesethingsaretrue,it’sgoodtocultivatethatconvictionasmuchasyoucan.Youcultivateyourprecepts.YoucultivateyourconvictionintheBuddha,theDhamma,andtheSangha.Thosepassageswechanteveryevening—therecollectionoftheBuddha,theDhamma,theSangha—areactuallydescriptionsofwhatverifiedconvictionislike.Someofthewordsmayseemstrange,butit’susefultoreflectontheonesthatresonate,theonesthatseemrelevanttoyourpractice.

Tobeginwith,reflectonthefactthattheBuddhawasawakenedthroughhisownefforts.Hewasabletoputanendtogreed,aversion,anddelusion.That’swhyhe’saWorthyOne.Thatrighttherereallymeritsconvictionbecauseitremindsusthatitispossiblethroughhumanefforttoputanendtosuffering.Itispossiblethroughhumanefforttocleansethemind.Sometimesyouhearthe

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ideathattheegoissocorruptthatanythingittriestodoisgoingtobecorruptedaswell.Thatideaclosesoffallthedoorsexceptforone:thehopethatsomebodyisgoingtocomealongandsaveyou.Butthathopeisirresponsible.

Theresponsibleattitudeisthatyou’reresponsiblefortheactionsofyourmind.Youreallycanchoose.Andfortunatelyyourmotivesarenotalwayscorrupt.AstheBuddhasaid,youcantakeadvantageofthefactthatyouwanttruehappiness,anddevelopsomenoblequalitiesoutofthat.Thequalitiesofpurity,compassion,andwisdomcomefromtakingyourdesirefortruehappinessseriously.

Sothesethingsarepossible.They’repartoftherangeofpossibilitiesofbeinghuman.Thatrightthereisachallenge.TheBuddha,ineffect,isaskingyou,“Doyouwanttoliveyourlifekeepingthispossibilityopenordoyouwanttocloseitoff?”Somepeopleactuallydowanttocloseitoff.Theydon’tliketheresponsibilitythatcomeswiththepossibilitythattruehappinesscanbefoundthroughhumaneffort,thatthemindcanbecleansedthroughhumaneffort.Itasksalot.Butthen,whatislifelikewhenthosepossibilitiesareclosedoff?Prettymiserableandconfined.

IrememberwhenIfirstwenttoSingapore.Imarveledathowplannedeverythingwas.Butthesenseofmarvelwasnottotallypositive.Theyhadeverythinglaidoutforyou:whereyouweregoingtobeborn,whatyouweregoingtodoasachild,whereyouweregoingtogetyoureducation,wheretheywouldchannelyouwhenyou’dgotowork.Theyhadthingsplannedoutforyourretirement,andthenforyourdeath.Itgivesrisetothefeelingthatyoumightaswellgoaheadanddieandgetitoverwith,ifthatwasgoingtocircumscribethetotalityofyourlife.Butthinkingaboutthepossibilitythattrueawakeningcanbefoundthroughyourefforts:thatbreaksthroughthosecircumscribedlimits.That’snotpartofanybodyelse’splan,butthatcanbepartofyourplan.Andtowhateverextentyoucannurturethatconviction,itkeepsyourheartnurturedandnourishedaswell.

AsfortheDhamma,theDhammaiswell-taught.TheBuddhasetthingsoutclearly.I’vebeenreadingrecentlyabouttheRomanticattitudetowardreligioustexts,whichisthatpeoplewhowritereligioustextsarethosewho’vegainedasenseofoneness,ofthedeeperpartsofthemselvesinonenesswiththeworldaroundthem,andtheyjustexpresspoeticallyhowwonderfulthatis.Thewaytheyexpressit,ofcourse,isgoingtobedeterminedbytheirculturalbackgroundandtheirpersonaltalents.Sothedifferencesintheirmodesofexpressiondon’treallymatter.Youcaninterprettheirwritingsaspoeticallyasyoulikebecausetheywerejustexpressivepoetrytobeginwith.

ButtheBuddhawasn’tthatsortofteacher.Hesaidthatthethingsheexperiencedthroughhisawakeningwereliketheleavesinaforest.Hedidn’t

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wastehistimetellingusaboutalltheleaves.Hegaveusthehandfulofleavesthatshowshowtogainawakeningforourselves.Hewasn’tjustexpressinghowwonderfulitistobeawakened.Hegaveusdirectionsforhowtodoit.Andhisdirectionsareveryprecise,veryclear.

There’sapassagewherehecontrastshiswayofteachingwithwhathecallstraininginbombast.Traininginbombastiswhereyou’retaughtthingsthatareverypoetic,thatsoundveryhigh,verylovely,veryinspiring,butnooneisencouragedtoaskwhat,precisely,theymean.Afterall,inbombasttherereallyisnoprecisemeaning.It’salljustvague,high-soundingwords.But,astheBuddhasaid,hetaughtcross-questioning.Yourtrainingwithhimwasincross-questioning.Whentherewasateachingyoudidn’tunderstand,heencouragedyoutoask,“What’sthemeaningofthis?What’sthepurposeofthat?Howfarshouldthiswordbetaken?”Thatway,whereverthereareanydoubtsoruncertainties,youcanclearthemup.

AndtheBuddhahimselfwasopentocross-questioning.Infact,hetookitsoseriouslythatthenext-to-the-lastthinghesaidbeforepassingawaywastoaskthemonks,“Doesanyonehaveanyquestions,anydoubts,anyperplexityabouttheBuddha,theDhamma,theSangha,thepath,orthepractice?”Hemadetheofferthreetimes,andeventhenafterthethirdtime,hesaid,“Okay,ifyou’retooembarrassedtospeakinpublic,justinformsomeonesittingrightnexttoyou.”Thatshowshowearnesthewas,inthathedidn’twanttoleaveanydoubtsorperplexitybehind.

SowhenwestudytheDhamma,we’renotdealingwithbombastorvaguepoeticexpressions.Wedon’thavealltheuncertaintyoftryingtofigureout,“Whatonearthdoesthissymbolize?Isthisanallegory?”TheBuddha’steachingsarelikeatrainingmanual.They’remeanttobeputintopractice,tellingyouspecificthingstodo.Now,insomecaseshedoesleaveanopenquestionhereandthere,butit’saquestionthatcausesyoutogrowwhenyoutrytofigureouttheansweronyourown.Ifyou’retryingtogetthemindtosettledown,hesays,watchthebreathasit’slong,watchitasit’sshort.Trainyourselftobeawareofthewholebodyasyoubreatheinandbreatheout.Trainyourselftocalmthesenseoffabricationthatcomeswiththebreath.Themeaningoftheseinstructionsisn’tobvious,butyoucanfigureouthowtodothemonyourownthroughexperimentation.Tryingtofigurethemoutisagoodexerciseforyourdiscernment.

Beforeteachingbreathmeditation,he’dencourageyoutodevelopanattitudeofpatience.Hesaidtobeasnonreactiveastheearth.Peoplethrowdisgustingthingsontheearth,andtheearthdoesn’tshrinkbackinhorror.Itjustsitsrightthere.Thesamewiththeothergreatelements.Youcanusewatertowashawaydirtythings,andthewaterdoesn’tcomplain.Windblowsdirtythingsaround,

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yetthewinddoesn’tcomplain.Fireburnsdirtythings,yetfiredoesn’tcomplain.Inotherwords,youtrytodevelopthatqualityofsolidityandimperturbabilitysothatyoucanreallyobservethings,toovercomeanytendencytopushorpulltogetquickresults,andthengettingfrustratedandfallingback—gettingdiscouraged,wantingthingstobeacertainwayandgettingfrustratedwhentheyaren’t.Ifyou’regoingtolearnfromyourmeditation,you’vegottodevelopanattitudeofpatienceandsoliditythatallowsyoutositwiththings,howevertheyare,andreallyseethemforwhattheyare.

Posethequestioninyourmindandjustwatch,trydifferentapproaches,becausetheBuddhadidn’tstophismeditationinstructionswithequanimityandpatience.Hewentontoteachthe16stepsofbreathmeditation,mostofwhichinvolvetraining,experimenting,andusingyouringenuity.There’sanintentionalelementtothispractice.You’retryingtofigureoutaskill,sensitizeyourselftoacertainareaofyourexperience:eitherthebodyoryourfeelingsorthestateofyourmind.Noticewherethere’sstressandthenfigureouthowyoucancalmthatstress.

Inotherwords,thesearethingsyoudo.Youdon’tjustsitthere.Youdon’tgiveuptryingtoimprovethings.Ifthingsaren’tworking,youdevelopaconfidentattitude:There’sgottobeawayoutofhere,butyousimplyhaven’tfigureditoutyet.Theproblemliesinsomethingyou’redoing.Maybeyou’repushinginthewrongdirectionorupagainstsomethinginthewrongway,butyoucanchangethatifyoustepbackandwatchforawhile.

TheBuddhahasitallveryclearlylaidout,sothatwedon’thavetokeepstartingfromscratcheverytimewepractice.Youjustlearnhowtoapplygeneralprinciplestoyourspecificcase.Inthisway,there’sacreativeelementinthepractice.Butyoucanrestconfidentthatthingswerelaidoutclearly.Whatever’sthereintheDhammaismeantforyoutouseaspartofthepathtoawakening.Whenyoufindawakening,youdon’thavetohaveanybodydescribeitforyou,ortellyouhowwonderfulitis.Youknowwhatit’slikeforyourself.

AsforconvictionintheSangha,thatthey’vepracticedwell,that’susefulforwhencomparingyourselftotheBuddhaseemsalittlebitunreal.YoulookatthemembersofthenobleSangha:men,women,young,old,educated,uneducated,rich,poor.Somepeoplepracticedquickly,gotquickresults;otherpeopletookalongtimebuttheyfinallygotthedesiredresults.Sometimesit’smostinspiringtoreadabouttheoneswhowerehavingthemostdifficulty,becauseyoulookattheirdifficultiesandsay,“Well,minearenothingcomparedtotheirs.”Yetinthemidstoftheirdiscouragement,theycouldfindsomethingworthwhile.Andtheyhadtheconvictionthatcarriedthemthrough,evenwhenthingslookedprettybleak.Theirconvictionwaswhatenabledthemtofindawayout.

It’slikebeinglostinthewoods.Ifyouthinkthere’snowayout,you’renot

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goingtofindawayout.Butifyou’reconvincedthattheremustbeawayout,youkeeplookingandlookingandlooking,andregardlessofhowlongittakes,theconvictionthatthere’sawayoutisanecessarypartoffindingtheescape.

Thefourthelementofconvictionislearningtokeepyourpreceptspure.Itmayseemstrangetolistthisasakindofconviction,butfortheBuddha,convictionisn’tjustconvictioninideas;it’ssomethingyouactuallyputintopractice.Ithastofinditswayintoyouractions.Ifyoureallydowanttodevelopcompassion,wisdom,andpurity,you’vefirstgottolookatyouractions:Whatareyoudoing?What’stheimpactofyouractions?Howscrupulousareyouaboutdoingthingstherightway,theharmlessway?Themoreyoufindthatyoucanstickwithyourprecepts,themoreconfidenceyougaininyourself.Atthesametime,you’redevelopingtheessentialqualitiesofmindyou’llneedforthemeditation:mindfulness,alertness,beingobservant,sothatyouractionsarenotatoddswithyourprinciples.

Whenprogressinyourmeditationseemsslow,youremindyourself,“AtleastI’mnotharminganyone.”That’ssomethingtotreasure.Whenyoulookatthewaytheworldis,everybodyseemstobeshovingeverybodyelseoutoftheway,toget—what?Somethingthat’sgoingtosliprightthroughtheirfingers.Alltheyhaveleftisthememoryofthehorriblethingstheydid,whichisnotreasureatall.Butherewe’redevelopingtreasures.We’vegotthetreasureofconviction,thetreasureofvirtue,thetreasureofasenseofshame,i.e.,yoursenseofyourownself-worth,thatyouwouldbeashamedtostooptoharmfulactions.Thetreasureofcompunction:thatwhenyouthinkofdoingsomethingharmful,youjustpullbackandsay,“No,Ican’tdothat,”forfearoftheharm.You’vegotfourofthesevennobletreasuresrightthere.

Whenyoubringthisattitudetothepractice,you’restartingwithagoodfoundation.You’rereadytolearnfromthemeditationregardlessofhowwellorhowpoorlyitmaygo.You’renotsoneuroticorbrittlethatyouhavetopretendthatthereisnosuchthingaspoormeditation.Sometimesthemeditationjustdoesn’twork.Okay,itdoesn’twork.Recognizethatit’snotgoingwellandposesomequestionsinyourmind.Exactlywhat’sgoingwrong?Teasethingsout.Istheresomethingwrongwiththebreath,somethingwrongwiththebody?Isitthestateofmindyou’rebringing?Thebeliefsyou’rebringing?Somethingthathappenedtodayandgotyouallstirredup?

Learnhowtoseparatethesethingsout,sothatregardlessofhowwellorpoorlythemeditationgoes,youknowhowtolearnfromit,tolearnhowtobenefitfromit.Thelessonsyoulearn,thebenefitsyouget,maynotbetheonesyouplanned,butyou’vegottolearnhowtoappreciatethemsothatyoursenseofconvictionstaysstrongandgetsmoreandmorereliable.Youlearntoappreciatetheresultsthatyoudoget,regardlessofwhetherthey’rewhatyouwantedin

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termsofthebliss,therapture,whatever.Therearealotofotherimportantthingstolearnfrommeditation,youknow.Andwhenyoulearnhowtorecognizethem,they’reallgood.

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ConcentrationWorkFebruary5,2011

AjaanLeewouldalwaysrecommendstartingoutwiththreetosevengood,long,deepin-and-outbreathstohighlighttheprocessofbreathinginthebodyandtogivethebodysomeenergy.Asthemindsettlesdown,there’satendencyforthebreathtogetverysubtleandquiet,andsometimesit’snotreallyenoughforthebody’senergyneeds.AjaanFuanghadastudentonetimewhoreallylikedthequietbreath.Shewouldalwaysgothereinhermeditation.Irememberhimcriticizingheronenightforthat.Hesaid,“Youreallyhavetoreadthebodytoseewhatitneedsrightnow.Ifyougojustforthequietbreathallthetime,itsapsyourstrength.”

Anessentialskillinmeditationislearninghowtoreadwhatyourbodyneeds.Giveitmoreenergywhenitneedsmore,eventhoughthatmaynotseemasquietandrefinedasyou’dlike.You’vegottotakecareofboththebodyandthemind.Considertheissueofdirectedthoughtandevaluation.AjaanLeerecommendedthatyougothroughthebodyinquitealotofdetailtosettlethingsdownandtoclearthingsuptocreateagoodplacewhereyoucanfeelathome.Peoplecomplainthatit’snotquietingtothinkaboutthebreathandworkwiththebreathenergyindifferentpartsofthebody.Well,it’spartoftheworkneededinordertogetthingsreadytosettledowninawaythatwillbesolidandlasting.

Bewillingtodotheworkthat’sneededforagood,solidconcentration.Don’tjustgohidingoutinalittlequietcorner.Allowingyourawarenesstospreadandfillthewholebodyiswhatgivesyoutheproperfoundationforyourmeditation.Indoingthiswork,youexerciseyourfacultiesofmindfulness,alertness,anddiscernment.There’satendencyinsomecirclestoencouragestudentstalentedinconcentrationtodirecttheirenergiesinthedirectionofconcentration.Ifthey’remoretalentedintheareaofanalyzingthemind,they’reencouragedinthedirectionofdiscernment.AjaanFuang,though,wouldturntablesonpeople.Iftheywerealreadytalentedinconcentration,he’dhavethemworkmoreinlearninghowtothinkaboutandanalyzethemovementsofthemind.Iftheywerealreadytalentedinanalyzingthings,he’dhavethemlearnhowtobequiet:justsitwiththingsforawhilewithoutpredeterminingallthetime.Thisway,youlearnhowtodetectwhenthingsareoutofbalanceandto

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bringthembackintobalancewhenneeded.There’sworktobedone.AjaanLeecalledityourconcentrationwork:the

directedthoughtandtheevaluation.Whenyoustartoutwiththesethings,theycanberathercoarse;butbyexercisingthem,youlearnhowtobringthemtorefinement.Sometimesyoufindthatrefinedbreathistooweak.You’redriftingoff.You’vegottostrengthenthingsagain,togetintouchwiththebodyandtogainasenseofhowtolistentoitandrespondtoitsneeds.Thisisespeciallydifficultforpeoplewhohavebodyissues,whobasicallywanttorunawayandblockouttheirawarenessofthebody.Learnhowtotrustthedifferentsensationsinthebodyandtrustyourabilitytohandlethem.Inthebeginning,youmaywanttostartwithjustonelittle,familiarspotinthebodyoraspotthatseemsokay,andbewillingtohangoutthereforawhile.Itmaynotseemimpressive,itmaynotseemallthatquietyet,butyou’reworkingonpotentialshere.You’realsoworkingonpatience,learninghowtoallowpotentialstodevelopinapositivedirection.

Oneoftheconstantthemesinthestoriesthatwehearaschildrenisthatyoucan’tjudgethingsbytheirappearances.Youcertainlycan’tjudgethingsnowastowhatthey’regoingtobeinthefuture:theuglyducklingthatturnsintoaswan,thetrollwhohasgold,thelittlemousethat’sabletohelpthelion.Youhavetolearntolookforpotentials.TheBuddhasaidtoworkwiththepotentialsinthebodyandinthebreathenergy.Eventhoughpartofthemindmaywanttoslipoffintoanicelittlecocoonwhereitdoesn’thavetothinkaboutanythinganddoesn’thavetodealwithanythingatall,thatgoesnowhere.You’vegotworktodo.You’vegottocomebacktothebreath.Eventhoughitmaynotseemcomfortableorblissfultobeginwith,you’regoingtoexploreapotential.Giveitsomespace.Don’tpushthebreathtoomuch.Don’tforceittoomuch.Justallowittogointoareaswhereitmaynothavegonebefore.

Again,you’renottryingtopushorforcethings.Theoperativewordisallow,allow,allow.Allowthebreathtogodowntheback,allowittogothroughthedifferentorgansinthetorso,togooutyourarmsandoutyourlegs.Asyougothroughthebodywiththeword“allow,”youbegintonoticethatsomepartsofthebodyareresistant.Insomecases,theresistanceisprettyshort-lived.Allyouhavetodoisthink,“allow,”andthingsbegintoloosenup.Othertimestheywon’tloosenupsoquickly.Justmakeanotetoreturntothatarea,andthencontinuetoworkthroughthepartsthatcanconnectintoafeelingoffree-flowing,mutuallysupportiveenergyamongthedifferentbodyparts,ratherthanworkingatcross-purposes.Thinkofallthedifferentorgansinthebodyconnectingupandstrengtheningoneanother.Theenergyinyourleftarmhelpsyourrightarm,andviceversa.Yourrightleghelpsyourleftleg,andviceversa.Asforthepartsthatdon’twanttojoininyet,justleavethemaloneforthetime

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being.It’slikecreatingaunionofdifferentcountries.Somecountriesarereally

recalcitrant.They’llwaittoseehowtheunionisgoingbeforethey’rewillingtojoin.Lookatthelongterminordertodevelopthingsforthebestresultsinthefutureratherthanforshuttingthingsoffforthequickfixinthecocoon.Thistypeofoutlookwillleadtoagreatersenseofwellbeing,agreatersenseofbliss.

InthecourseoftheBuddha’squestforawakening,hedidattainformlesslevelsofconcentrationthatcanbeattainedwithoutdealingwiththebodyatall.However,whenthetimecametosettleonthetruepath,hestartedwithaformofconcentrationthatwasverymuchwiththebody:focusingonthebreath,givingrisetoasenseofeaseandwellbeing,refreshment,andrapture.Thenheworkedthepleasureandrapturethroughthebodyinthesamewaythatyoukneadmoisturethroughdough.It’swhenyourawarenessiscenteredinthebodylikethisthatyouopenupareasthatmightbeclosed,tofeelmoreateasewithareasthatyou’vebeenrunningawayfrom.

Atthesametime,you’reopeningupareasofthemindthatyoumighthaveclosedoffaswell.Apsychologicaltestrecentlyfoundthatpeoplewhotendtogointodeepconcentrationareveryunawareofthemselvespsychologically.Ofcourse,thetestresultsdidn’tsaywhattypeofconcentrationthosepeopleweredoing.Thereisaconcentrationthatactuallyallowspeopletorunawayfromthepresentmoment,havingnosenseofthebodyatall.Thistypeofconcentrationattractspeopleindenialorpeoplewhoareillateasewiththeirownbodiesforonereasonoranother.Italsodoesn’tyieldmuchawarenessordiscernment.Asaresult,thesetypesofpeoplearenotgoingtobeveryself-aware.

Wrongconcentrationmakesyouunawareofyourself.Infact,it’softenyourunwillingnesstobeawareofyourselfthatdrivesyouintothatkindofwrongconcentrationtobeginwith.Rightconcentrationrequiresthatyoubeawareofthewholebodyandlearntofeelathomeinthebody.Thismaytaketimeasyougettoknowandtrustthings.It’slikedevelopingafriendship.Youcan’tjustwalkuptosomebodyandimmediatelybecomedeepandfastfriends.Therearesomepeopleyouhaveaninstantrapportwith,butthefriendshiphastobetestedovertimeforyoutoknowwhetherthatrapportwillreallygrowintoafriendship.Therearesomepeopleforwhomit’sdifficultinthebeginning,butyoufindovertimethattheyarepeopleyoucantrust.That’safriendshipworthcultivatinginspiteofwhateverdifficultiesmaybeinvolved.Sointhelongrun,theworkinvolvedinlearninghowtodevelopafriendshipwithconcentrationisgood,pleasurableworkusedforahigherend.

Wemaywanttocomeherejusttotuneoutandrelaxforabit.Butformeditationtobegenuinelyrelaxingwithasenseofclarity,wellbeing,andstrengthrequireswork.It’slikevisitingthegym.Ifyouwanttocomeaway

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feelingstrong,youhavetobewillingtoexercise.Here,theworkorexerciseisdirectedthoughtandevaluationaroundthebreath.Establishabeachheadinthebody,anareaofthebodywhereyoufeelateaseandconfident.Thenlearnhowtoexpandfromthere,listeningtotheneedsofthebody.Doesitneeddeepbreathing?Doesitneedshallowbreathing?Wemayhavetheideathatshallowerorgentlebreathingisbetterormoreadvancedthanheavierbreathing,butthat’snotalwaysthecase.

Listentotheneedsofthebody.It’sinthelisteningthatyourmindfulness,alertness,anddiscernmentdevelopand,actingtogether,bringthemindtoareallysolidconcentrationthatcanactasabasisforfurtherwisdom,discernment,andinsighttoarise.Youhavetobewillingtoputintheeffort,confidentthattheeffortwillpayoff.Whatyougivetothemeditationiswhatmakesallthedifference.

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ThreeLevelsofEvaluationSeptember29,2009

Twonightsagoitwassohotthatmostofusweresittingoutsidetocatchwhatlittlebreezetheremightbe.Tonightit’ssocoldthatwe’reclosingthewindows,andpeopleareallbundledup.It’shardtofindconditionsthatarejustrightineveryway.Theworldseemstoswingbackandforthfromoneextremetotheother.It’sprettymuchthesamewaywithourminds.Wecangothroughswingsofextremeenthusiasmandextremelaziness;dayswheneverythingseemstobegoingperfectlyfine—yousitdownandmeditate,andthemindisveryobedient—andthen,notmuchlongerafterthat,itgoestotallywild,outofcontrol.

Soyou’vegottolearnhowtobringitundercontrolyourself.Learnhowtomoderateit.Ifyou’regoingtogainaplaceofjustright,ithastocomefromthepath,thispracticewe’redoing.AsAjaanMunoncesaid,it’snormalthatwhenthemindstartsonthepathit’sgoingtogofromoneextremetotheother.Butyou’vegottolearnfromtheextremestoseehowyoucanbringthingsbacktothemiddle.Andagoodplacetolearnaboutthisisatthebreath.

Thetextssaythattherearefivefactorsthatgointothefirstjhana:directedthought,evaluation,singlenessofpreoccupation,pleasure,andrapture.AjaanLeemakesareallyusefulobservationaboutthem,thatthefirstthree—directedthought,evaluation,andsinglenessofpreoccupation—arethecauses.Thosearethefactorsyoucando,whereastheothertwofactorsareresults.Soyoufocusontryingtokeepthemindwithoneobject.Youdirectit,say,tothebreath.Andthereallyimportantfactorinallofthisisevaluation,learninghowtogainasenseofwhat’sjustrightforthebody,whatkindofbreathingisjustrightforthemind;what,whenyou’reoutofbalance,canbringthingsbackintobalance.Experiment.Ifyoubreathedalittlebitlonger,whatwouldtheresultsbe?Then,whenyou’vetriedlongbreathingforawhile,youmighttryevenlonger.Oryoumighttryshorter.

Evaluationhereinvolvesthreethings:One,trytofigureoutwhatchangesyoucanmake.Two,learnhowtoevaluatetheresultsofthosechangestoseewhat’sworkingwellandwhat’snot.Thenthree:whenthingsaregoingwell,howdoyoumakethemostuseofthesenseofeaseandrapturethatcancomewhenthingsaregoingwell?

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Tobeginwith,it’sgoodtoremembertherearelotsofwaysyoucanconceivethebreath,andthey’llgiveyoudifferentideasofwhatthepossibilitiesare.Ifyouthinkofthebreathonlyasairpumpinginandoutofthelungs,there’sjustalimitedrangeofpossibilities.Ifyouthinkofitmoreasbreathenergy,thatwidenstherangebecausethebreathenergycancomeinandoutatanyspotofthebodyandcanpermeateeverypartofthebody.AjaanFuangoncetalkedaboutthebreathinthebones.Haveyoueverlookedatthebreathinyourbones?There’salsobreathenergysurroundingthebody,likeacocoon.Isthatcocoonofenergyingoodshape?Canyousenseit?Somepeoplecan,somepeoplecan’trightoff.Butasyougetmoreandmoresensitivetothebreathenergyinthebody,yourealizeitisthereandyoucantellwhenthere’sariporatearinthebreathenergysurroundingthebody.Andyoucanthinkofhealingit.

Sothat’sthefirstpartofevaluation:thinkingofthebreathindifferentwaystoseewhichwayismosthelpfulrightnow.YoumightthinkofwhatAjaanLeecallstheup-flowingbreath,whichisthebreathcomingupfromthebaseofthespineupthroughthehead,andgoesoutthetopofthehead.Oryoucanthinkofitcomingfromthesolesofyourfeetuptothetopofthehead,supportingthebodysothatyou’renotslouchingdownasyousit.Oryoumightfindthatthebreathenergyflowingupfromthebodyisgettingstuckinyourhead.Hakuin,thefamousZenmonk,talksaboutsufferingfromZensickness.Basicallyitwasbreathenergygettingstuckinhishead.Tocounteractit,he’dvisualizeaballofbutteronthetopofhisheadmeltingdownoverthebody.Thatwashowhebroughttheenergybackdown.

Youmightalsothinkofthebreathenergycominginandoutthepalmsofyourhandsorthesolesofyourfeet.Ifthere’satightnessorheaviness,say,inyourchest,thinkofitflowingoutyourarmsandoutthepalmsofyourhands.Ifthere’satensioninyourhips,thinkoftheenergyflowingdownthroughthehipsandoutthesolesofyourfeet.Inotherwords,thispartofevaluationhastodowithyouringenuityinconceivingthebreathenergyandwhatyoucandowithit.

Thenextstepisactuallylearninghowtoreadtheresultsofwhatyou’vedone.Sometimesyoucangetstuckonverysubtlebreathing,whichmayseemverystill,veryrelaxing,verycalming,andyoustickwithitsometimesfordaysonend.Whatitcansometimesdo,though,istodraintheenergyinthebody.

Yearsago,YomThaem,anoldwomanwhohadbeenstudyingwithAjaanFuang,cametostayatthemonastery.Asweweresittinginmeditationoneevening,hecalledouttoher.“You’vebeenstuckoncoolbreathingnowforweeks,”hesaid.“It’snotgoodforyou”—coolbreathingheremeaningaverysubtle,verystill,veryrelaxedlevelofbreath.Sometimesit’sgoodtobreatheinawaythat’srelaxing,butothertimesyou’vegottofindawayofbreathingthat’smoreenergizing.You’vegottolearnhowtoreadwhatyourbodyneeds.

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AjaanLeecomparesittobeingagoodparent.Whenyourchildcries,youknowwhatthechildneeds.Youlearnhowtoreadthecryandyouhavedifferentwaysofdealingwiththechild—pickingitup,walkingaround,givingitsomethingtoeat,puttingitinaswing,whateveryousenseisgoingtowork.Themorefamiliaryouarewithyourchild,themoreyoucanreadthecries.Andthesamewiththebreath:Whenthingsaren’tgoingwellwiththebody,youwanttoobservewhythey’renotgoingwell:Exactlywhatkindofnotgoingwellisthis?Toomuchenergy?Toolittleenergy?Isthebreathflowinguptoomuchordowntoomuch?Isthebreathenergydeadandlifeless?Orisittooscattered?Thentrytothinkofwaysofbringingitbackintobalance.Then,again,youreadwhatyou’vegot:Isitworking?Ifit’snotworking,trysomethingelse.

Thisalsomeans,however,learninghowtoreadhowlongyouneedtostickwithsomethingbeforeyoucanevaluatetheresults.Sometimesyoucantellimmediately.Youtryacertainwayofbreathingandcanknowrightawaythatit’snotrightforthebody.Othertimesittakesawhile.BackwhenIhadmigraines,Ifoundthatreallydeepforcefulbreathingcouldbeveryhelpful.Itdidn’tfeelcomfortableatfirstbutafterawhileIbegantonoticethatitreallywashavingagoodeffectonthebody.SoIstuckwithituntilithaddoneitswork,andthenIletthingsrelax.Sosometimesyoucan’ttellrightawaywhat’sgoingtoworkandwhat’snot.Butthisisoneofthereasonswhywesitandmeditatesolong,sothatwe’llhavetimetoexperiment.

Whenyousensethattheresultsaregoingthewayyouwant,that’swhenyoucometothethirdaspectofevaluation,whichishowtomakethemostuseofthesegoodresults,howtomaintainthem.Saythere’sasenseofeaseandwellbeinginthemiddleofthechest:Howdoyoumaintainthateaseandwellbeing?Whatwaydoyoubreathe?Howdoyouadjustyourbreathsoastomaintainthatsenseallwaythroughthein-breath,allthewaythroughtheout?

Onceyoucandothat,howdoyouletthatsenseofeasespreadthroughthedifferentpartsofthebody?Wherearethechannelswhereitcanspread?Whatkindofspreadingforcesthingstoomuchandspoilsthewholeeffect?Inotherwordshowmuchallowingisinvolved,andhowmuchactuallyopeningthingsupandconsciouslyspreadingdoyouneedtodo?Thesearequestionsonlyyoucananswerforyourself.Nooneelsecananswerthemforyou.

Sothesearethethreeaspectsofevaluation.Youstartwithusingyouringenuityinthinkingofdifferentwaysofworkingwiththebreathandworkingwiththemind—i.e.,focusingondifferentpartsofthebody,noticinghowmuchpressureyouneedtoexertinordertokeepthefocusthere,howmuchpressureistoomuch,howmuchpressureisnotenough.Thenyoulearnhowtoreadtheresultsofwhatyou’redoing,toreadthesituationyou’restartingoutwith,andtoreadwhenyou’regettinggoodresultsandwhenyou’renot.Andthenthree,

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whenyoudogetgoodresults,useyouringenuitytofigureoutwhatyoucandowiththem:howyoucanmaximizethemsothatthemindcanstaystillandbalancedforalongperiodoftime,howtokeepthemindclearsothatyoucangetthehigherbenefitsofconcentration,i.e.,thediscernmentthatcancomewhenthingsareveryclearinthemind,withastrongfoundationofmindfulnessandalertness.It’saloteasiertokeepthebreathinmindthroughoutthedaywhenthebreathfeelsreallygood.Youcanwalkaroundandjustbefilledwithasenseofjustthat:fullness.Whenyoudothat,youfinditaloteasiertostaycenteredinthebody.Themindisnotreallyinterestedingoingoffanywhereelsebecauseitfeelssogratified.

Sothisfactorofevaluationisthereallyimportantoneingettingalltheotherfactorsoffirstjhanatogether.Ifyouevaluatethebreathinawaythatmakesitmorecomfortable,andthesensationofthebreathingmoreinteresting,it’saloteasiertokeepyourmindfocusedonthebreathandtostaythere,tomaintainasenseofsingleness,whichmeansbothhavingoneobjectinmindandthenhavingthatoneobjectorthatoneperceptionfillthewholerangeofyourawareness,throughoutthebodyandevenaroundthebody,includingthecocoonofenergyoutside.Thesignthatyourevaluationisgoingwellisthatthesenseoffullnessinthebodybecomesmoreandmorepronounced,withasenseofease,wellbeing,pleasuresimplyinbeingherewiththebreath,beinghereinthebody,lettingallthedifferentbreathchannelsinthebodyconnectsothateverythinginthebodyfeelsunified.

Allofthisdependsonhowcarefullyyoudothisprocessofevaluation,howyoubringyourpowersofobservationtobear.Somepeoplehavesaidthatthefactorofevaluationissimplythewobblingofthemindbecauseyourconcentrationisn’tsolidenough,butthat’snotreallythecase.Youneedtodothisevaluationtogetthemindanditsobjectsnuglytogether,sothatthey’reongoodtermswitheachother.AndasAjaanFuangwouldsay,oncethingsarejustright,youreachthepointwhereyourealizeyoudon’tneedtoevaluatethingsanymore.Thebreathisjustrightcomingin,justrightgoingout,andyoucan’treallyimproveit.HisimageisofalargewaterjarliketheyhaveinThailand,wheretheycollecttherainwatercomingofftheroofsofhouses.Hesaidyoufillupthewaterjar,anditgetstothepointwhereit’ssofullyoucan’treallyaddanymore.Ifyoutryaddingmorewater,itjustspillsout.Thejarcan’tgetanymorefullthanthat.That’sthepointwhereyoucanlettheevaluationgoandjustbecomeonewiththebreath.Theawarenessfillsthebody;thebreathfillsthebody.Thatsenseofonenesscantakeyouallthewaytothedimensionoftheinfinitudeofconsciousness.Buttogettothat,you’vefirstgottoevaluatethingstogeteverythingfittingsnuglytogetherandwell-connectedtogetherinside.

Ioncemadethemistakeonetime,whentalkingtosomeoneinThailand,of

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sayingthatit’slikeadoglyingdown.Ishouldn’thaveusedadogtomakeacomparisonwiththemindinconcentration,butIthoughtitwasagoodimage.Thedogliesdown,andoops,there’sarock.Sohegetsupandscratchesawaytherock.Thenheliesdownagain.Oops,there’saroot.Okay,hescratchesattheroot.Andthenwheneverythingissmooth,hesettlesdown.

It’sthesamewiththebreath.Youscratchhere,youscratchthere,andyoufinallygeteverythingnice,smoothedout,andcomfortable.Thenthemindcanreallysettledownandreallybeatone.It’sthisscratchingaroundtomakethingsjustrightandkeepthemjustright:That’stheevaluation.

Sotrytodoaspreciseandobservantajobasyoucanwiththisevaluation,andtheresultswilljustkeepgettingbetterandbetter.

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RaptureAugust22,2011

Takeafewdeep,longin-and-outbreathsandthinkofthebreathenergyfillingthebody.Whenwetalkofthebreathenergybeingfull,it’snotamatterofhavingyourlungsstuffedwithair.It’smorethattheenergychannelsthroughoutthebodyareopenandtheyfeelsaturatedwithcomfortableenergy.Sotrytonoticewhereinthebodyyouhavethatsenseoffullnessrightnow.Protectthatspotasyoubreathein;protectitasyoubreatheout.Don’tsqueezeit.Don’tpullit.Thinkofitfloatinginmid-airrightthere.Somepeoplefeelthissenseofpotentialfullnessmosteasilyintheirhands.Otherpeoplefeelitmosteasilyintheirchest.Itreallyvariesfrompersontopersonwhereyou’regoingtofeelitfirst.

Onceyounoticethatthere’sanareathatdoesfeelrelativelyfullofniceenergy,thinkofitspreadingoutfromthatspot.Thisissomethingyoucan’tpushorpull.Youallowittospreadatitsownrate.Tellyourselfyou’reinnohurry.Youdon’thavetoanticipatehowsoonit’sgoingtohappen,howlongit’sgoingtotake.It’ssomethingthathappensrightonthecuspofthepresentmoment.Soifyou’releaningtoomuchintothefuture,you’renotgoingtoseeit.Ifyou’releaningbackintothepast,you’renotgoingtoseeit.Trytothinkofyourselfbeingbalancedrighthere.TheimagetheBuddhagivesisofamustardseedonthetipofanawl,likeanextremelysharpnail.

Now,developingthissenseoffullness,thissenseofwellbeing,requiresthatyoupayverycarefulattentiontothebreathandthatyoubeverymeticulousinhowyouevaluatethebreath.Howisitfeelingrightnow?Whenyoubreathein,doesthebreathenergyspreadsmoothlyordoesitfeellikeyou’repushingorpullingittoomuch?Whatwe’reworkingonhereissomethingthat’scalledpitiinPali.Youcantranslateitasrapture;youcantranslateitasfullness;youcantranslateitasrefreshment.Thebasicmeaningisthatitfeelsreallygood,reallynourishing.TheBuddhalistsitasoneoftheenergizingfactorsofawakening.

It’salsoakindoffood.There’sthatpassagewherehesaysthat,whenwemeditate,wefeedonraptureliketheradiantgods.Theproblemwiththewordraptureisthatsometimesitseemstoointenseforthewaysomepeopleexperienceit.Somepeoplefeelitasatinglingthroughthebody,theirhairstandingonend.Forothers,it’sgentler—asenseofbalanced,fullwellbeing.Somepeoplefeelitin

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wavescomingoverthebody.Andforsomepeopleit’ssointensethatthebodystartsmoving.

Theintensityisnotameasureoftheintensityofyourconcentration.It’smoreameasureofhowstarvedofenergythebody’sbeenfeeling.Ifit’sbeenfeelingreallystarved,thesenseofraptureisgoingtobeextremelyintense.Ifthebodyhasn’tbeenstarved,theraptureorrefreshmentwillbemoregentle.Sometimesyoumaywantittobeintensebutit’snotgoingtobeintense,butthatdoesn’tmatter.Beverypatientwithit.Again,ifyoustartpushingittoomuch,itwithersup.Haveastrongsenseofallowingtheenergytobethereandtoradiateout.Ifit’sgoingtospread,it’sgoingtospreadatitsownrate.Youjusttrytomaintainyourbalancerightthereonthecuspofthepresentandit’lldoitsownthing.

Thisisareallynecessarypartofmeditation.AjaanFuangusedtosaythatyourmindislikeamachinethatneedslubricant.Otherwiseit’sgoingtodryup.Yourpracticegetsdryifthere’snosenseofrealrefreshmentandwellbeing.That’swhatraptureis:lubricantforyourmeditation.HetalkedaboutbeingaloneupintheforestforyearsinNorthernThailand,missingAjaanLee.Andwhatkepthimgoingthroughthedayeachdaywashisabilitytotapintoasenseofrapturewheneverheneededit.

Realizethatraptureiswaitinghereforyouinthepresentmoment.Justlookverycarefullyandgiveitsomespace.Inthebeginning,itmightnotseemlikemuch,butyou’vegottogiveitachance.It’slikethatoldfableofthemouseandthelion.Thelioncatchesthemouse,butthemousepromisesthelionthatifheletshimgo,maybesomedayhe’llsavethelion’slife.Thelionisamusedandsoletsthemousego.Afterawhile,thelioniscaughtinanet,andthemousecomesandeatsawayatthenet,freeingthelion.

Sodon’tdisparagelittlethings,don’tdisparageweakthings—becausetheycangrow.Theycangetstronger.Whereverinthebodythere’safeelingof“okay,”allowittostayokay.Protectit.AjaanFuangwouldusethewordprakhong,whichmeanstohoveraroundsomethingtoprotectit.Trytodevelopthatsameattitudeofhoveringaroundthesesensationsinthebody.Don’tpushthemorsqueezethemtoomuch.Givethemtheirspace.Justprotectthemsothatnothingcomesinandstepsonthem.

Asforanyquestionsthemindmayhaveabouthowlongthisisgoingtotakeorhowmuchlongerwe’regoingtobesittinghere,justdropthem,dropthem,dropthem.Letthemfallaway.Trytofindasenseofbalancerighthere,becauserighthereiswhereallthegoodthingshappen—andwherealltheimportantthingshappenaswell.Ifyoucannourishandprotectthissenseoffullness,thenyoubegintonoticeanymovementsofthemindthatmightdisturbit.Youseewherethemindishungryandhowitoftengoesouttolookforwhat’sbasically

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junkfoodtoassuageitshunger.Now,however,yourealizeyoudon’thavetodothat,foryou’vegotsomethingreallyniceandnourishingrighthere.Whygooutandlookfortrouble?

Greed,aversion,anddelusionarealllookingfortrouble.They’relikestrongattacksofhungerandthey’reneverreallysatisfied.Whenyouactonthesethings,theymayprovidealittlebitoffullnessandalittlebitofenergy,butthenitgoes.It’slikefoodthat’sbadforyourhealth.Buthere’ssomethingthatyou’vebeencarryingaroundwithyouallthetime:thepotentialsinthebody.AjaanLeetalksaboutthisalot—thatthebodyhasallkindsofpotentialsthatwerarelytakeadvantageofbecausewedon’tletthemindgetquietenoughforthemtoshowthemselves.Sogivethispotential—thispotentialforfullness,asenseofrefreshment—somespace;giveitsometime.You’llfindthatitreallycanstrengthenyourpracticeandgiveyouasourceofenergythatyoucantapintowheneveryouneeditatanytimethroughouttheday.Whetheryou’reinformalmeditationornot,thesepotentialsarealwaysthere.Whenyoucanrecognizethemandlearnhowtoallowthemtogrow,you’llhaveaconstantsourceoffood,aconstantsourceofenergythatyoucantakewithyouwhereveryougo.

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TruthApril21,2011

AjaanLeeoftenmadethepointthatourpracticeisaskill.TheDhammaisallaboutskill.Thewordsaretheretohelpusmastertheskill,tounderstandtheproblemswefaceinmasteringtheskill,andunderstandthevariousapproacheswemighttaketosolvethoseproblems.ButthewordsarenottheDhamma;thewordspointtotheDhamma.ThegenuineDhammaissomethingwehavetodo.OneoftheoldmeaningsofthewordDhammais“action.”ToseeDhammainthissense,wehavetolookatouractionsverydirectly,verycarefully,toseewherethey’reskillfulandwherethey’renot.

ThisiswhyyouseealotofanalogiestoskillsinbothAjaanLee’steachingsandintheBuddha’s.TheBuddhacomparedaskillfulmeditatortoaskillfularcher,cook,orcarpenter.AjaanLeewouldsaythataswedevelopdirectedthoughtandevaluationinthepractice,it’sbasicallylearninghowtoobserveouractionsandtheirresults,andtofigureoutwhat’sgoingwrong.Hewouldcompareittolearninghowtoweaveabasket,sewashirt,ormakeclaytiles.Rememberthisasyou’rereadingandlisteningtotheDhamma:TheDhammaisn’tjustamatterofunderstandingthewordsasyoulisten.AjaanLeeoncesaidthatifyouwantedtoexplaintheDhammaatthelevelofbeingabletorememberthemainpoints,itwouldn’ttakethreehours.Butthen,takingjustoneofthosepoints,itmighttakethreeyearstoreallyunderstanditasyouputitintopractice.

SotheDhammaisnotsomethingtojustmemorize.It’ssomethingyouactuallyhavetodoandobserve.ThisiswhytheBuddhasaidthattruthfulnessisoneoftheprimaryrequirementsofpractice.Itinvolvestwothings.Oneisbeinghonestaboutwhatyou’reactuallydoingandtheresultsyou’reactuallygetting.Theothermeaningoftruthfulnessisstickingtosomethingonceyou’vemadeupyourmindthatit’swhat’sreallyworthwhiletodo.Thetwoqualitiesgotogether:Onceyou’venoticedthatsomethingseemsclearlyandtrulygood,thenyoustickwithitwithoutbetrayingyourknowledgeoryourunderstanding,untilyougetthetrueresultsyou’reafter.

Youhavetobetrueinordertolearnthetruth.Then,youtakethattruthandcontinuetobetruetoreallybenefitfromit.Foralotofus,thethoughtof“honesty”meansbeinghonestaboutourshortcomings.That’sonesideofhonesty.It’sapainfulside.Andthere’sanotherpainfulside:beinghonestabout

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ourcapabilitiesthatwehaven’tfullydeveloped.Wecouldmakemoreofourselves.ThatwasthehonestythatdrovetheBuddhaonthispath.Asaprince,hehadpower,wealth,andallkindsofsensualpleasures.Accordingtotraditionalaccounts,thepeoplearoundhimkeptasking,“Whatmorecouldyouwant?Thinkofallthegreatpeopleinthepast.Thisishowtheylivedtheirlives.Whycan’tyou?”TheBuddharesponded,“That’sasignthattheyweren’treallygreatoradmirable.Theyweren’tworthyofhonororrespect.”Trulygreatpeoplearetheoneswhochecktoseeiftheyhaveagreatercapacitywithinthemselvesandexplorethatcapacitybypushingtheenvelope.

That’swhattheBuddhadidandthat’swhyhefoundtheDhamma.Hewouldlookathisactionsandaskhimself,“AmIsuffering?”WhentheanswerwasYes,thenextquestionwas,“WhatamIdoingthatmightbecausingthatsuffering?”Hehadtolookhonestlyatwhathewasdoingandtheresultsthathewasgetting.Thenhehadtoaskhimself,“Isthereanalternativewayofdoingthis?Isthisallahumanbeingcando,oristheresomethingbetter,somethingmore?”Hestretchedhisimaginationandwouldtryoutanypromisingapproachestoseeiftheyactuallyworked.

ThisisoneofthereasonswhytheBuddharegardedtruthfulnessasthemostimportantvirtue,bothinthesenseofspeakingtrulyandinthesenseofnotbetrayingyourknowledgeoryourunderstanding.Allthepreceptscomedowntothisqualityoftruthfulness.Youobservethatyou’vebeenharmingpeople—yourselforothers—andyouwanttostop,andthenyoumakeupyourmindtostickwiththatdetermination.Preceptsaren’tcommands.TheBuddhaisn’tforcingthemonyou.Youhavetoseeforyourselfthatitreallywouldbebettertogiveupharmfulactions.It’sapromiseyoumaketoyourself.Onceyoumakeit,youwanttobetruetothatpromise.

Ifyoustartlyingtoyourselforbetrayingyourknowledge,itsetsupalongseriesofotherwaysyouhavetolietoyourself.It’sthesamewhenyoulietootherpeople:Youtellonelieandthenyouhavetocoverupthatliewithanotherlie,thenathirdlie,andthenafourth.Itgetsverytrickyandverycomplicated,forafterawhileyouforgetwhoyoutoldwhichlieto.It’salotsimplerjusttostickwiththetruth.“Okay,Idohavetheseshortcomings,butIalsohavethesepotentials.”It’sbybeingtruethatthepotentialsopenup.

TheBuddhaplacedgreatemphasisonthisvirtueoftruthfulness.It’soneofthereasonswhyhesaidthatpeoplewhofeelnoshameintellingaliearecapableofanykindofevil.Thisdoesn’tmeanthateverybodywholiesiscapableofallkindsofevil.Therearepeoplewhowillfeelashamedabouttheliestheytell,whichshowsthattheyknowsomeboundaries,thattheyhaveasenseofrightandwrong.Thepeoplewhofeelnoshameatallaretheonesyouhavetowatchoutfor.It’sespeciallytroublingwhenyouhearsomebodysay,“Thereare

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circumstanceswherealieisperfectlyacceptable.”They’llgiveextremeexampleswhereifyoudon’ttellalie,somebodymightdie.Thentheyturnitintoaprinciplethatliescanbeokayincircumstancesthatarefarlessdrastic.Buteveninthedrasticcases,canyoubesurethattellingaliewillsavetheperson’slife?Somepeopleareverypoorliars.Moreimportantly,whatkindofpersonfeelsnoshameinjustifyingthetellingofalie?Ashamelessperson.Ifyoufeelthatlyingcanbeokay,thenyou’recapableofanyevil.

Soyouwanttomakesurethatyoutakerefugeinthetruth.AjaanMahaBoowaoncesaidthatifyouholdtowhat’strue,thenthetruthholdsnodangerforyou.Whenyoupretendormakefalseassumptions,thenthetruthbecomesathreat.Whenyoubegintopracticeandlookatwhereyou’resuffering,younoticecertainthingsthatyouholdontothatcauseyoutobefearfulandtofeelthreatened.Lookintothetruthoftheseassumptions.“Isthisreallytrue?Isthisreallymine?”Thesearecaseswheretheperceptionofnot-selfiscrucialasatoolforlettinggoofthethingsthatmakeyoufeelthreatenedbythetruth.Whenyoucanletgoofthosethings,thethreatgoesaway.

Theresultisthatthemorehonestyouarewithyourselfaboutyourshortcomingsandstrengths,thebetteryoursenseofyourself.AttaññutaistheBuddha’stermforthis.Thistakestimeandrequirestruthfulness.Havingasenseofyourselfmeansknowingyourstrengthsandweaknesses,theareasyouhavetofixand/orimprove,andalsowhatareasorqualitiesofthemindyoucandependontomakethoseimprovements.Tobehonestwithyourselfandaboutyourselfdoesn’tmeansaying,“I’mmiserableandIacceptthefact.MaybeIcanbeokaywiththis.”That’snotwhattheBuddhaaskedfororrecommended.Herecommendedknowingyourstrengthsaswellasyourweaknesses.Makeaclearevaluationhere.Thecleareryouareaboutthis,thentheeasierthepathwillbecome.

TheBuddhaaskedtwothingsofapersonwhocametostudywithhim:thatthepersonbebothobservantandtruthful.Thosetwoqualitiesgotogether.Themoretruthfulyouareingeneral,themoreyoucanbegintotrustyourobservationsastowhat’strueorwhat’snot,what’sworthwhileorwhat’snot.Inthatway,thetruthbecomesyourrefuge.Yourtruthfulnessbecomesyourrefuge.Otherwise,howareyougoingtoknowwhat’sskillfulandwhat’snot?Howareyougoingtoknowwhomyoucantrustandwhomyoucan’t?Youhavetwobasicsourcesofknowledge:whatyougainfromotherpeople,andwhatyougainfromyourself.Bothhavetobetestedthroughthetruthfulnessinyourownpowersofobservationandinthethoroughnesstowhichyouputtheteachingstoafairtest.

That’swhythetruthisyourultimaterefuge:thetruthofyourownheartandmind.AjaanLeeoncesaid,“Ifyouaren’ttrue,thentheBuddha’steachingswon’tbetrueforyou,andyou’llneverknowwhattheBuddha’steachingstrulyare.”

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Turnthataround.Ifyou’retrue,thentheBuddha’steachingswillbetrueforyou,andyoudohaveachanceofknowingwhattheyare.That’swherehonestyhasitsmorethanpleasantside:first,whenyoucansaythatyouhonestlywanttolearntheDhamma,andthenwhenyoucanhonestlysaythatyouknowtheBuddha’steachingsabouttruehappiness,theultimatehappiness,aretrue.

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YourMindisLyingtoYouSeptember15,2010

There’saCalvinandHobbescartoonwhereCalvin’ssittingonasledatthetopofthehillandhe’sthinking,“Goahead,godownthehill,youwon’trunintothatboulder,youwon’trunintothatstream,it’snottoosteep.”Andinthelastpanelheturnsandsaystothereader,“Mybrainistryingtokillme.”

Andthat’soneofthemainproblemsinlife:Yourmindistryingtokillyou.Ifnotkillyouphysically,it’stryingtokillyourgoodness,killyourpossibilityforreallygettinganywhereinthepractice.AjaanMahaBoowatalksabouthowwhenhewasayoungmonkhewasafraidtogooutandpracticeforfearthatitwouldbewastedenergy.Therewasabeliefinthosedaysthatthetimeforjhanahadpassed,thetimefornirvanahadpassed,andhewasafraidanyeffortinthatdirectionwouldbewasted.HegotoverthefearbyrealizingthatwhatevertheBuddhataughtwasnotmeanttobeanexecutionerofyourhappiness.Whatever’srequiredofthepath,whetherit’seasy,whetherit’sdifficult:It’sallgood.

Andit’snotthatprogresshappensonlywhenthepathiseasyoronlywhenyou’reenjoyingit.There’sasuttawheretheBuddhatalksabouthowsomethingsaregoodinthepresent,goodinthefuture;goodinthepresent,badinthefuture;badinthepresent,goodinthefuture;badinthepresentandbadinthefuture.Theonethat’sbadinthepresentbutgoodinthefuture,hesays,isthecasewhereapersonispracticingtheDhamma,leadingtheholylife,thoroughlymiserable,tearsrunningdownhischeeks,buthe’swillingtostickwithit.

Incaseslikethat,themindhaslotsofwaysofpullingyouaway,andyouhavetowatchoutforthem,learnhowtocatchthemindwhenit’slyingtoyou.Sometimesitcomesaspsychotherapy,saying,“Forcingyourselfisbadforyou,youknow.It’sunhealthy,”andallthejargonthattherapistshavecookeduptokeeppeoplefromexertingthemselves,tokeepthemhappywithalifethatreallyisnotworthbeinghappywith.

LikethetherapistIwastalkingtoupinVancouverlastyear:Hewasworkinginastorefrontthatofferspsychologicalcounselingtodrugaddicts.Andhewastellingmethatforyearstheyhadtroublejustgettingpeopletocomeinoffthestreetforfreetherapy.Theyfoundtheoneapproachthatworkedtoatleastpullthepeopleintothestorefrontwastohelpthemworkontheirself-esteem.Buttheproblemwasthattheyendedupwithclientswhohadhighself-esteembutwere

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stillondrugs.Theywereperfectlyokaynowwithtakingdrugs;theydidn’tfeelbadaboutthemselvesfortakingdrugs.Andthetherapistwasbeginningtorealizethatthiswasnotanadvance.Itwasactuallyasetback.

There’salotofthatinpsychotherapy.Therapistswilltellyouthattherearealotoffellowtherapistswhoareafraidthey’regoingtolosetheirclients,sotheytelltheclientswhatevertheythinktheclientswanttohear.Andbecausepsychotherapyclaimstobeascience,itbeginstosoundscientific.Sowehavetowatchoutforthat.

PeopleevenusetheDhammaasawayoflyingtothemselves,usingthewrongDhammaatthewrongtime.There’saclassiccaseofthatinthefour-volumenovel,JosephandHisBrothers.JosephhasbeenworkingasaslaveinchargeofPotiphar’shouse,andPotiphar’swifehasbeentryingtoseducehimforanentirevolumeofthenovel.Andyouthinkhe’sbeenabletosteerclearofher,butthenonedaythewholefamilygoesoutforaholidaythatrequireseverybodytogoovertothewestsideoftheriverforceremoniesatthetombs.Whentheycomebackhome,there’sgoingtobeabigdinner.AndPotiphar’swifeletsitbeknownthatshe’snotfeelingwell,soshe’sgoingtostayhomealoneinthehouse.Atfirst,Josephgoesoverwiththegrouptothewestsideoftheriverbutthenhestartstellinghimself,“Gee,asaresponsiblestewardhereIreallyoughttogocheckthearrangementsbackatthehouse.”Thisisfollowedwithalongseriesoflittlemaximsthatherepeatstohimselftoconvincehimselfthatthat’shisdutytogoback.So,asafool,heendsupgoingbackandPotiphar’swifeattackshimphysically.He’sabletogetawaybutshehashiscloakinherhand:theevidencethathetriedtorapeher.It’sbecauseofthatthathehastogointoprison—alloutofafalsesenseofduty.

Soyouhavetowatchoutforthevoiceinthemindthatsays,“Well,you’dreallybebetteroff,you’vegotthisduty,you’vegotthatduty.”Butisitgenuinelyyourduty?That’soneofthemostseductivewaysthemindhasoflyingtoitself.

Thisiswhy,whenyoumeditate,youhavetolearnhowtosayNotoeverythoughtthatcomesup.It’syourfirstlineofdefense.Thatmeansnotjustputtingitasidebutquestioningit.“Isthatreallytrue?Isthatso?Isthatso?”youcouldask.Andthenwatch.Trytokeepthemindinpositionwiththebreathorjustwiththesenseofthebodyinthepresentmoment,stayingoutsideofyourthought-worlds.Andremembertheoldprinciple,Don’tbelieveeverythingyouthink.Becauseit’sveryrarelythatwefallforjustrawdesire.Desireshavetheirreasons.

Thiswasanoldprobleminancientphilosophy.Platosaidthatreasonanddesirearetwototallyseparatefunctionsofthemind.ButthentheStoicsnoticedthat,no,ifyoucanreasonwithyourdesiresorreasoncanwinoutoverdesires,you’renotwinningoutthroughsheerforce.Ifdesiresactuallylistentoreason,it

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meanstheyhavereasonsoftheirown.Andoftentheywon’ttellyouwhattheirrealreasonsare.They’relikepoliticians.Theywaveaflagoverheresotheycandotheirdirtyworkoverthere.Ifyoureallyloveyourself,reallycareforyourself,reallywanttoputanendtosuffering,youhavetolearntorecognizetheredherrings,thedistractions,thegood-seemingreasonsthatareactuallygoingtoleadyouastray.

Oftenthey’reintermsofabstractions.Thisisonewayyoucanrecognizethem.TheBuddhadidn’tdealwithabstractions.Hedealtwithactions,specificactions.Thisaction:Whatisitgoingtoleadto?Thataction:Whatisitgoingtoleadto?Wheredoesittend?Ifyougetpulledoffintoabstractions,yougetpulledfurtherandfurtherawayfromtheactualmentalactofseeingtheconnectionbetweentheactionandtheresult.

Thisiswhyalotofmeditationisamatterofstayingundertheradar.Abstractionsareflyingthroughtheairbutyoustaydownclosetotheground.Justwatch:WhenIthinkinthisway,what’sthetoneinthebody?What’sthetoneinthemind?Whereisthisleading?Whichofmydefilementswantsmetobelievethis?It’slikethatoldwayofprotectingyourselfwhenyou’rereadingmagazinesornewspapers:“Somebodywantsmetobelievethis.Why?”Thatway,youdon’tgetentirelypulledinbyaskewedwayofthinking.

Thisisoneofthemostvaluablegiftsofthepractice:Itgivesyouaplaceherewiththebreathwhereyoucanstepbackandwatchyourthought-worldsintermsofcauseandeffect.ThisishowtheBuddhahimselfsaidhegotontothepath.Afterrealizingthatjhanawasoneofthefactorsofthepath,hehadtoworkonrightresolve,i.e.,traininghismindtoseewhatkindofthoughtsleadtowardconcentrationandwhatkindofthoughtsleadawayfromconcentration.Inthesameway,youlookatyourthoughtsintermsofcauseandeffect.Towhatextentaretheybringingthemindtoasenseofwellbeingorease?Ofcourse,sometimesthepathtothateaseisgoingtobehard.TheBuddhaneversaidit’sgoingtobeeasyallalongtheway.Youhavetokeepaneyetowardthelong-termresultsofwhatyou’redoing.

Sotheconcentration,asyou’reworkingatit,developsasetofskillsthatenableyoutogaugewhat’sbeingsaidinthemind,sothatyoucanfigureoutwho’slyingtoyouandwho’stellingthetruth.Whohasyourbestinterestsinmindandwhodoesn’t?RememberthatimageofAjaanLee’s,ofallkindsofbeings—germsandwhatnot—inyourbloodstream.Athoughtgoesthroughyourbrainandmaybeit’sthethoughtofoneofthoselittlebeingsgoingthroughthebloodstreamaroundyourbrain.Thinkinginthiswayremindsyouthatyoudon’thavetoidentifywitheverythingthatcomesupinthemindorgetslodgedinthebodyasanemotion.

I’vebeenreadingabouttheRomanticsandtheTranscendentalists,howthey

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reallyhadastrongrespectforthemind’sintuitionsandtheygavethemabsoluteauthority.That’sdangerous.Youcan’tgiveabsoluteauthoritytoanything.Youhavetotesteverything,andtestthewayyoutestthings,andinthetestingyoutrytodeveloptheabilitytojudgemoreandmorereliably.ThisiswhywetakerefugeintheBuddhatobeginwith,becauseweneedsomeoneasanexample—someonewithwhoseexamplewecancompareourthoughtsoractionsorourwordsuntilwereachthepointwherewereallycandependonourselves.

Soifanything’spullingyouawayfromthepractice,remember:It’slyingtoyou.Andit’snotgoingtopresentitselfsimplyasrawdesire.It’sgoingtohaveitsreasons,someofwhichsoundverysmoothandconvincing.Oneoftheskillsyouhavetodevelopasameditatoristolearnhowtoseethroughthat.

OneofAjaanFuang’straitsthatreallystruckmewhenIfirstmethimwashowskepticalhewas.Hewasn’twillingtojumptoconclusions,eitherbelievingornotbelieving.He’dwatchandhe’dwatchsomemoreandhe’dwatchsomemore.That’showtopreventevenyourinsightsfromgettinghijackedbyyourdefilements.Whenaninsightcomesin,pridecanarisearoundit—whichiswhyUpasikaKeeNanayonalwaysadvisedthatwheneveraninsightcomes,watchtoseewhathappensnextandwhathappensnext,andthenwhathappensnext.AjaanLee’stestwouldbeifyougainaninsight,askyourself:Towhatextentiswhatyoujustlearnedtrue?Towhatextentisitsoppositetrue?It’sthisabilitytostepbackandwatchthat’ssoimportant,sothatultimatelyyoucanseethroughtothetruth.

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EncouragingPerceptionsNovember23,2010

Whenwemeditate,we’reworkingwiththeprocessofperception.Whenwefocusonthesensationofthebreathing,we’realsokeepinginmindaparticularperceptionofthebreathsothatweknowwhattolookfor,wheretolookforthebreath.Forexample,ifyouhaveaperceptionofbreathsimplyasaircominginandoutofthelungs,you’regoingtobelookinginoneplaceandseeingonekindofthing.Ifyouchangeyourperceptionandthinkofthebreathasenergyflowinthebody,you’regoingtobelookingotherplaces,seeingotherthings.

Perceptionisalsousedingaininginsight.Sometimesyouhearthatconcentrationbasicallydealswiththeperceptionorthementallabelofsomething,whereaswhenyou’redevelopinginsightyou’redealingwiththeactualexperience,butthat’snotthecase.Thetwogotogether,theperceptionandtheexperience,bothinconcentrationpracticeandininsightpractice.Whenyou’retryingtoconcentrate,youusetheperceptionofthebreathtodirectyoutotheexperienceofthebreathandtokeepyouthere.Whenyou’restartingtodevelopasenseofdispassion,youusetheperceptionofinconstancy,ortheperceptionofstress,ortheperceptionofnot-self.Thesearementallabelsandyou’reapplyingthemtothingsyou’reexperiencing.

Oneoftheimportantlessonsyoulearnfrommeditationisthepowerofperception,howitcanshapeyourexperience:whatyousenseinyourworldofexperience,bothinsidethebodyandaroundyou;whereyou’regoingtofocusyourattentionandwhatyou’regoingtodowithit;yoursenseofyourpossibilities,ofwhatcanbedone.Again,ifyouthinkofthebreathassimplytheaircominginandoutofthelungs,there’salimitedrangeofpossibilitiesforwhatyoucando.Theideaofallowingthein-and-outbreathtostopgetskindofscary.Butifyouthinkofthebreathenergyflowingthroughoutthebody,extendingouttoallthepores,thentheideaofthein-and-outbreathstoppingisnotsoscary.Ifyouthinkofyourselfasstarvedofbreath,youhavetokeepgulpingitin.You’regoingtobreatheinawaythat’snotveryconducivetogettingthemindtosettledown.Butifyoudevelopaperceptionofthebodybeingfilledwithbreathenergy,thenthein-breathisjustconnectingwithwhat’salreadythere,energizingwhat’salreadythere,andyou’regoingtobreatheinadifferentway,withalotlessdesperation,withagreatersenseoffullnessandease.

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What’scalledthebodilyfabricationaspectofthein-and-outbreathhasanimpactonthemovementofenergyinthebody,andthewayyoufeelthebodyisgoingtogetmoreandmoresubtle,moreconducivetothemind’ssettlingdown.

Alltheseperceptionsaretruetosomeextent,it’sjustthatsomeofthemaremoreusefulthanothers,morebeneficial,forsomepurposesandnotforothers.Forthepurposeofmeditating,youwanttoholdontoaperceptionthat’srightforwhatyou’redoingrightnow.Inthisway,theperceptionsyouholdinthemindareakindofmentalchatter,akindofinnerspeech—thewordsthatgointothesentencesofyourdirectedthoughtandevaluation—andthesameprinciplesapplytoinnerspeechastheBuddhaappliestoouterspeech.Inotherwords,beforespeaking,youhavetoaskyourselfthreequestions.Thefirstquestionis,isittrue?Thereareallkindsofthingsthataretrue.So,thenextquestionis,isitbeneficial?Isitreallygoodtosaythesethings?Isitreallygoodtoholdtheseperceptions?Whatusedotheyhave?Whatimpactdotheyhaveonthemind?Eventhoughtheymaybetrue,ifthey’renothavingabeneficialimpactonthemind,youmightwanttoletthemgo.Butevenifthey’rebeneficial,thenextquestionis,isthistherighttimeandplaceforthem?Isthisthetimeforcomfortingperceptionsoristhisthetimeforperceptionsthatcrackthewhip?—theonesthatsay,“Hey,you’vegottogettowork.”Thesearethesortsofthingsyoulearnthroughexperience.Butforthepurposesofthemeditationrightnow,youwanttoholdtoaperceptionofthebreaththatallowsthemindtosettledown,sothatitdoesn’thavetothinkalotaboutbreathingin,breathingout.Youwantperceptionsthatsimplyallowthebreathtocomein,allowittogoout.

So,aperceptionoftheeaseofthebreath,thefullnessofthebreathisveryhelpful.Atthesametime,youneedsomeusefulperceptionsaboutyourownmind.Youhavetobeconvincedthatyoucandothis.AsVen.Anandasaid,thisisaformofconceit,butit’sahealthyformofconceit.Youhearthatotherpeoplehavegainedawakeningandyoutellyourself,“They’rehumanbeings.I’mahumanbeing.Theycandoit,socanI.”Butsometimesyou’refightingsomeperceptionsyou’vecarriedoverfromthepastthattendtoundercutthatkindofself-confidence.Soagain,thisisaquestion:Howevertruetheymayhavebeen,aretheybeneficialrightnow?No.Soyou’vegottofigureoutwaystoletthemgo.

AjaanMunwoulddothiswithhisstudents.Hehimselfwasthesonofapeasant;mostofhisstudentswerepeasants’sons,andpeasantsinThailandarewaydownonthesocialladder.ThemessagecomingoutofBangkokinthosedayswasthatifyouwantedtogetanywhereintheBuddha’steachings,youhadtogotoBangkokandstudywiththeexpertsthere:Bangkokpeoplefromtheroyalfamily,peoplefromeducatedbackgrounds.Ifyou’rejustapeasantsonmeditatingoutunderthetrees,whatwouldyouknow?Alotofpeopleinthecountrysidehadinternalizedthatmessage,soAjaanMun’sfirsttaskwasto

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counteractit.Oneofhisfrequentteachingswas,“Whatdoyouneedinordertopractice?Youneedahumanbirth:you’vegotthat.Youneedthe32partsofthebody.Sometimesyoudon’thavetohaveall32functioningproperly,butyou’vegotahumanbodyandyou’vegotahumanmind.You’vegotwhatittakes.”Youseethisrepeatedagainandagaininhisteachings.Hehadtobuilduptheconfidenceofhisstudents,andYes:Eventhoughtheywerepeasantsandhadhadminimaleducation,theyhadenough.Theyhadwhatittakes.ThisiswhywehavetheWildernessTradition.Theywereabletoovercomethemessagesthatsocietyhadbeensendingtothem.

Youneedconfidenceinordertodothis.Onehelpfulperceptionisnottothinkofyourselfasaunitaryself,butasmanyselves.You’vehadmanydesires.Eachdesirehasitsownsetofselves,theselfthat’sgoingtogainthedesiredpleasureandthentheselfthatcanmanagethingstoproducethatpleasure.Now,inmanyareasoflife,wemaynothavemanyskills,inwhichcasethatsecondkindofselfmaybeprettyunderdeveloped.Butyouhavetothinkaboutthefactthatyoudohavesomeskills,therearesomethingsthatyoudowell,andsothinkofthoseasthestrongmembersofyourcommittee.Thenlearntotakethelessonsthey’velearnedinmanagingthingsskillfullyandapplythemtoyourmeditation.Thisisaskillthatrequirestime,requirespatience,sothatwecancomprehendsuffering,letgoofitscause,developthepathsothatwecanexperienceorverifyforourselvesthatthereisacessationtosuffering.Thehardparthereiscomprehendingthepain,becausepain,bothphysicalandemotional,issomethingwetendtorunawayfrom.Whowantstositaroundwithpainlongenoughsoyoucancomprehendit?Soyouneedskills.Youneedstrengtheningfactors.

Thisiswhatthepathisallabout,fromrightviewallthewaydowntorightconcentration.Thefactorsofthepatharetheretostrengthenyou,toencourageyou,togiveyoutheskillsyouneedtositwithsuffering,sitwithpain,andunderstandit.So,again,whateverperceptions,whateverwaysoftalkingtoyourselfthataretruebutmaynotbebeneficial,ormaynotbetimely,you’vegottolearnhowtodropthem.

Sometimesyouhaveabiginvestmentinthemandsometimesthey’vebeendrummedintoyourheadsolongyoucan’tthinkofanyotheralternative.That’swhenyou’vegottorememberthatyoudohaveskills,youdohaveabilities,sofocusonthose,buildonyourstrengths.Again,don’tperceiveyourselfjustasaunitarybeing.You’vegotallthesecommitteemembersinhere,sotrytofigureoutwhichonesareskillful,whichonesaregoingtobehelpfulrightnow,andencouragethemsothatyouhavethestrengthtolookatyoursuffering.

Thisiswhyweworksomuchonconcentration,becausetheconcentrationdevelopsasenseofease,asenseofrapture,asenseofstability.It’snourishingfor

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themind,strengtheningforthemind.Therearealsootherobjectsofconcentrationbesidethebreath,meditation

exercisesthatcanbehelpfulwhenyouneedthem.Forexample,reflectiononyourowngenerosity,reflectiononyourownvirtue,recollectionoftheSangha,rememberingallthosemonksandnunswhowentthroughalotofdifficulties.Someofthemwereonthevergeofsuicideandyettheywereabletopullthemselvestogetherandultimatelygainawakening.That’sencouraging.Theycoulddoit,whycan’tyou?Anyofthecontemplationsthatyoufindencouragingandstrengthening,you’vegottolearnhowtodevelopthem.Ifthere’sanaggingvoiceinthebackofthemindthatsays,“Well,thatmaybetrueofthembutit’snotreallytrueofme,”you’vegottorecognizethatvoiceforwhatitis,somethingthat’sunbeneficial,andonlytellingpartofthetruth,forapurposeyoucan’ttrust.Youmayhavesomeweaknessesbutyou’vealsogotstrengths.Don’tletthecynictakeover,becausethecynicwantstodestroyyou.Itdoesn’twanttopractice.It’samemberofthecommitteethatyoucan’tallowtohaveanypower.Youneedtolearnhowtoundermineitspowersothatitdoesn’tgetinthewayofthestrengtheningexercisesthatwedoaswepractice,aswemeditate,aswedevelopmindfulness,alertness,concentration,anddiscernment.

Allthesethingsaremeanttohelpuscomprehendsufferingsothatwecanunderstandhowitcomes,howitgoes,andrealizewherethecauseis.Theremaybealotofcausescomingfromoutside,butthethingsthatreallyharmus,thatreallyhurtus,arethewayswecauseourselvestosuffer.Sometimesthat’shardtoadmittoyourself,butthat’sanotherreasonwhyyouneedinnerstrength:soyoucanlookatyourownfeelingsandnotgetknockedoffcoursebythem,notgetoverwhelmedbythem.Ithelpstorealizethateverybodydoesthis,everybody’sharmingthemselves,causingthemselvessuffering;theonlypeoplewhoaren’tarearahants.

Sowe’reallinthistogether.Butwedon’thavetostayhere.Thesenseofaccomplishmentthatcomeswhenthemindcansettledown,the

senseofeasethatcomes:Theseareallthingsthathelpyoutostepback,tolookatthewaysinwhichtheunskillfulmembersofyourcommitteehavebeencausingalotoftrouble.Oneoftheusesofthenot-selfteachingislearninghowtodis-identifywiththesemembers,towatchthemsimplyaspatternsofbehavior,oldconversations,oldmovies,oldhabitsthatyouhaven’thadarealchancetolookatcarefully,butnowyoucan.Youwanttodeveloptheimaginationthathelpsyouthinkofotherwaysofdealingwithaparticularproblemsothatyoudon’thavetomakeyourselfsuffer.That’swhenyouseethatthetypeofbehavioryou’redoingiscausingyourselfsuffering,andalsothatit’snotnecessary.Afterall,it’sjustatypeofaction.It’snotbuiltintoyouressence.Therearealternatives.Whenyouseethem,that’swhenyoucanreallyletgo.

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Thisrequirespatience.Itrequiresendurance.Itrequiresself-confidence.Anyperceptionsthathelpinthisprojectofgivingyoumorestrengtharetheonesyouwanttoholdonto.Thosearetheonesyouwanttodevelop.Thatwayyou’llhavetheconfidencethat,likeAjaanMunandAjaanMun’sstudents,youcandoit,too.Afterall,theywerehumanbeingswithalotofstrikesagainstthembuttheywereabletotaketoheartthefactthattheywerecausingthemselvestosufferandthatthepathtotheendofsufferingwassomethingeverybodycanfollow.Thosearegoodperceptionstokeepinmind.

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Broad,Tall,&DeepOctober6,2010

WhenAjaanFuangwasteachingpeopletomeditate,they’dgettothepointwherethebreathstopped,withasenseofthebreathenergyfillingthebody,alltheporesoftheskinwideopen,andallthebreathchannelsinthebodyconnected.Onceyouhadattainedthatstate,he’dhaveyoustaythereforawhiletogetusedtobeingthereandtogetgoodatmaintainingasubtleperception.Thenhe’dhaveyoufocusonthesensationofspace.You’dbegintorealizethatthespaceyouwerefocusingonhadnolimitations.Whenyou’refocusedonthebody,thingsgoouttotheskin,ormaybejustalittlebitbeyondtheskin,toincludetheenergycocoonaroundthebody.Butwithspace,therearenolimits.

Afteryouwereusedtostayingwiththatperceptionofspace,AjaanFuangwouldthenhaveyoufocusontheawarenessofthespace,whichlikewisehadnolimits.Therewasjusttheperceptionofknowing,knowing,knowing.

Ordinarily,he’dhaveyouwaituntilyourconcentrationwasstrongsoyoucouldstaywiththeseperceptions,andthemindwouldhavetheprecision,stability,andstrengthneededtostaywiththemforalongperiodoftime.Butthey’reusefulperceptionstokeepinmindevenbeforeyoureachthatlevelofstrengthinyourconcentration.Whenthebodyfeelsweak,youcanremindyourselfthatthere’sanawarenessthat’slargerthanthebody,onewhoseenergydoesn’tneedtodependonthebody.Whenthingsinyourlifeseemtobecrowdingin,youcanrememberthatthere’sanawarenessthat’slargerthanallofthosethings.Keepingthatperceptioninmind,youcangetintouchwiththatdimensionforatleastsomeperiodoftime,andthat’shelpfulinalotofways.

One,ithelpsstirupwhateverenergyyouneedjusttohangon,tostickwiththingsregardlessofhowbadtheyare,eitherinthebodyorintheworldaroundyou.

Italsogivesyouaplacetostandwhereyoucansimplybeawareofwhatevercomesup.Sometimesthingswillcomeupinthemeditationandyouwon’tbesurewhetherthey’regoodorbad,soyouwanttobeabletostepbackandsay,“Let’sjustobservethesethingsforawhile.”Alargerobserverisareallygoodplacetogo,becauseithelpsremindyouthatwhenyou’regoingtowatchsomething,youwanttowatchit360degrees.Youwanttolookallaroundyou,fromeveryangle,especiallywhensomethingcomesupinthemindandyou

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wanttoseeitseffects.Youwantyourawarenesstobeasbroadaspossible.Soit’sgoodtopracticewiththatperception.Thisisoneofthereasonswhy

AjaanFuangwouldhavehisstudentschantTheDivineMantra,becauseitgetsyouusedtothinkingintermsofthepropertiesofthebody,alongwiththepropertiesofspaceandconsciousness.Yougetmoreandmorefamiliarwiththeseconceptsandfinditeasiertostaywithyourperceptionofwhateversensationsmightcorrespondtospace,whateversenseofawarenessoraspectofyourawarenessseemstobelarge.Youcantakethatasyoursafespot.It’sagoodfoundation.

TheBuddhatalksaboutthisenlargedawarenessintermsofseveraldimensions.Hetalksaboutmakingthemindbroadandexpansive.Hetalksaboutmakingittallandhigh.Hetalksaboutmakingitdeep.Forbroadandexpansive,hebasicallytalksabouttwothings.Oneisdevelopingthebrahma-viharas:limitlessgoodwill,limitlesscompassion,limitlessempatheticjoy,limitlessequanimity.Hecomparestheseattitudestoalargeriver.Whenpeoplesayreallynastythingstoyou,youwanttodevelopasenseofgoodwillthat’sasexpansiveastheRiverGanges,thatnoamountofnastinesscandestroy.Youwanttocherishthisgoodwillasamotherwouldheronlychild—thisabilitytokeepthisdeterminationinmindthatyou’llalwaysactongoodwill,regardless.WhenthemindisliketheRiverGanges,it’simperturbable.Supposeamancamealong,sayinghewasgoingtogetallthewateroutoftheRiverGanges,andhetookatorch,hopingtoburnitallup,toevaporateallthewater.AstheBuddhasays,themanwouldjustwearhimselfoutbeforeallthewaterwasgone.

Soyouwanttodevelopthatkindofgoodwill,agoodwillthatnothingcanevaporateaway.Youwantyourgoodwillnottobedependentonotherpeople’sbeinglovableornice.Whenyoucandothat,it’snotacaseofyourgivingthemsomethingtheydon’tdeserve.Youhavetorememberthatyoubenefitfromyourgoodwill.Youwanttomakesurethatgoodwillinformsallofyourintentions,allofyourmotivations,sothatyoudon’tendupcreatingalotofunskillfulkamma.Whenwetalkaboutlimitlessorimmeasurablegoodwill,itdoesn’tmeanjustthattherearenooutsidelimitstoit;italsomeansthattherearenoconditionsplacedonit.Wheneverit’sappropriate,that’swhatyouacton.

Now,therearealsotimeswhenyouhavetodevelopequanimity.Regardlessofhowmuchyoumightwantsomebodytobehappy,it’snotgoingtohappenrightaway.Soyouhavetodevelopequanimityaroundthat.Butagain,that,too,hastobemeasureless,aqualityyoudevelopsothatyoucancallonitwheneveryouneedit.

Youalsowanttomakeyourgoodwillasexpansiveastheearth.Justaswhenamancomesalongandsayshe’sgoingtotrytogetalltheearthoutofearth,andhespitshereandthere,heurinateshereandthere,andhedigshereandthere,

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buthe’snevergoingtocometotheendofthegreatearth,forthegreatearthistooexpansive.Inthesameway,youwantyourgoodwilltobeasexpansiveasthegreatearth,somethingthatnoamountofurinatingorspittingcanwashaway.

Theotherwayinwhichthebrahma-viharasarelikealargeriverhastodowiththeimageofthelumpofsalt.Thelumpofsaltstandsforanypastbadkammayoumayhave.Ifyoucanmakeyourmindexpansivethroughthedevelopmentoflimitlessgoodwillandtherestofthebrahma-viharas,theniftheresultsofanypastmeasureablebadkammacome,theyhardlyeventouchthemind,inthesamewaythatalumpofsaltthrownintotheriverwouldn’tmakethewaterintherivertoosaltytodrink.Youdon’twantyourmindtobethewaterinacup,narrowandconfined.Ifallyouhaveisjustthewaterinthecup,thenwhenyouputabiglumpofsaltinit,youcan’tdrinkitatall.

Butthisimageofexpansivenessrefersnotonlytothedevelopmentofthebrahma-viharas.Thewaterintheriveralsocorrespondstoyourabilitytodevelopthemindsothatitdoesn’tgetoverwhelmedbypain,doesn’tgetoverwhelmedbypleasure.Inotherwords,youwantyourmindtobelargerthanpain,largerthanpleasure.Onewayofpreventingitfrombeingoverwhelmedbypleasureistopracticewithpleasure.Yousometimeshearthatstrongstatesofconcentrationarebestavoidedbecausethepleasureisjustsoseductivethatit’sgoingtopullyouoffthepath.Butifyoudon’tworkwithpleasure,howareyougoingtoovercomeit?Ifyoujusttrytoavoidit,thenwhenitreallyhits,youwon’thaveanytoolstokeepyourselffrombeingoverwhelmedbyit.

Soyouconsciouslyusethebreathtoinducepleasurablesensationswhereveryoucaninthebody.Inthebeginning,thiswillbejustincertainareasofthebody,certainchannelsofthebodythatyoucangetcomfortable,sofocusonthose.Astheybecomemoreandmorepleasurableandmoreandmoreconnected,thenfurtherconnectionswilldevelop,andthenmoreconnectionsandmore,untilyou’vegotthewholebodyconnectedwithasenseofease.You’llcometorecognizeforyourselfthetonethatfeelseasefulthroughoutthebody,andyoucangorightthere.Atfirstitmaynotbeveryintense,butifyoustickwithit,it’llhaveachancetogrow.

Butevenasitgetsmoreandmoreintense,youdon’twanttofocusontheeaseasyourmaintheme.Youwanttostayfocusedonthebreathbecauseyourattentiontothebreathiswhatproducestheease.Lettheeasedoitsworkinthebodybutdon’tletyourselfgetoverwhelmedbyitorsuckedintoit.Bedeterminedthatyou’renotgoingtoloseyourfocus,you’renotgoingtoloseyourgrasponthebreath.That’syourpracticeinlearninghownottobeovercomebypleasure.

Asimilarprincipleworkswiththepain.Asyouworkwiththebreath,youmayencounterpainfulsensationsinthebodythatevengoodbreathingcan’t

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dissolve.Butyoulearnhowtonotletyourselfgetfastenedonthepain,oroverwhelmedbythepain.Focusinsteadonthepleasurablepartsofthebody.Ifthewholebodyseemstobepainful,gotothesenseofspacethatsurroundsthebody,permeatingthroughallthedifferentatoms,andkeepyourfocusthere.Ifyoucan,consciouslyerasefromthemindanyperceptionsthattellyouthere’salimitationtothebody—i.e.,thattheskinislocatedhere,theboundarybetweenthebodyandtheairoutsideislocatedthere.Justdon’tpayattentiontothoseparticularsensations,ordon’tinterpretthosesensationsinthatway,andyou’llfindthatyou’vegotalargeawarenessyoucanbackinto.Thepainswillappearwithintheawareness,buttheydon’thavetoovercomeit.

Thosearesomeofthewaysyoumakethemindexpansive.Asformakingittallorhigh,theBuddhacomparesdiscernmenttogoingup

onatowerandlookingdownontheworldbelow,seeingalltheconcernsofhumanbeingsastheyscurryaround.Whenyou’relookingatthemfromwayuphigh,theyallseemsosmall.Ifyoucanlearntolookatyourowneverydayconcernsinthesameway,you’veheightenedthemind.Thisisoneofthetermstheyuse,adhicittam,whichmeansthatyouraisethelevelofthemind.You’vegotahigherlevelofpleasureasyourstandingpoint:thepleasureofform.Thenyoulookatthepleasureofsensualityandseethatit’sgotlotsandlotsofdrawbacks.Youlookatyoureverydayissuesconcerningthispersonorthatprojectorwhatever,andyouseetheminthecontextofthelargerschemeofthings.ThevisiontheBuddhahadofthewholecosmosonthenightofhisawakeningwasawayofheighteningthemind,and—fromthatheightenedperspective—understandingtheprincipleofaction.

Whenyoucanseetheprincipleofactionasuniversal,andthatwhateverhappensinyourlifeispartofthislargerplayofkammicforces,ithelpstodepersonalizeyoureverydayconcerns.Thisdepersonalizationisanimportantaspecttodevelopingdiscernment.Forinstance,supposeyou’redealingwithpeoplewhosaynastythings.OneofthethingstheBuddhahasyoutellyourselfifyou’rehearingsomeonereallylashingoutatyou,is,“Anunpleasantsoundhasmadecontactattheear.”Wedon’tusuallythinkinthoseterms.Weusuallythink,“Whyisthatpersonbeingsonastytome?”Andindoingthat,weputourselvesrightinthelineoffire.Whereasifyoucanstepbackandthink,“Anunpleasantsoundismakingcontactattheear,”you’veraisedthelevelofyourmind.Youcanlookatthenastywordsgoingrightbeneathyouorrightpastyou.Yourealizethatwhatthatpersonissayingishisorherownkamma,notyours.Itdoesn’thavetotouchyou.

Thefactthatpeoplearesayingthosethingsdoesn’tviolateyourrightsbecause,afterall,they’vegotamouthandtheycansaywhatevertheywanttowithit.Butyoulearnhowtotakeyourselfoutofthelineoffire.Youcanactually

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feelsorryforthosepeopleifthey’resimplyspeakingoutofgreed,aversion,ordelusion.Ifwhattheyhavetosayisactuallytrue,ifyou’veactuallydonesomethingwrong,thenbyliftingyourmindtoahigherplane,you’reinabetterpositiontoadmityourmistakeandtolearnfromit.

Sothisabilitytodepersonalizethingsiswhatheightensthemind,raisesthelevelofthemind,soyou’reuponthetowerlookingdownatpeopleonthegroundbelow,oruponamountainlookingdownatthepeopleinthevalley,seeingyourlifeinabroaderperspective.

Asfordeepeningthemind,theBuddhausuallyuses“deepening”torefertoarahantship,thepointwherethemindissodeeplyrootedthatit’slikeastonecolumnsixteenspanstall,eightspansburiedintherockofamountain.Asfortheeightspansaboveground,nomatterhowstrongthewindscomefromanyoftheeightdirections—thesearethewindsofgain/loss,status/lossofstatus,praise/criticism,pleasure/pain—thestonecolumndoesn’tshiverorshake.

SometimestheBuddhawouldusetheimageofdepthasinthedepthoftheocean.Thefullyawakenedmindisunfathomablelikethesea.It’ssodeepyoucan’tmeasureit,sobigyoucan’tmeasureit.Eventhoughthistechnicallyappliestoarahantship,youcanholdthatperceptioninmind:thatyouhaveapropertyofawarenesslargerthaneverythingitknows,thatgoesdeeperthaneverythingitknows.Itcanencompasseverything.Holdthatimageinmind.Andthatawarenesskeepsonknowingregardlessofwhetherthebodyfeelsstrong,weak,sick,whatever.AjaanMahaBoowaevenadvises,atthemomentyou’reabouttodieandthere’spaininthebody,thatyoutrytogetintouchwiththatsenseofawarenessandaskyourself:“Whichisgoingtodisappearfirst,thepainortheawareness?”Thepainisgoingtogofirst.Aslongasyoucankeepthatperceptioninmind,itgivesyouthestrengthtodealwithalotofthingsthatotherwiseyoucouldn’tbear.You’relesslikelytobeoverwhelmed.

Andasyouholdthisimageofalarger,deeperawarenessinmind,it’saloteasiertodealwithdistractions.Insteadofthinkingofyourmindbeinghereandthenzippingoverthere,gettingdistracted,yourealizethedistractionisappearingwithinthisfieldofyourawareness.Soit’sjustamatterofallowingthedistractiontodissolve,whiletheawarenessremainsthere,grounded—unaffected,untouched.

Thesearesomeofthereasonsyouworkonexpandingyourconscioussenseofthebodysothatyou’resensitivetothewholebodyasyoubreathein,sensitivetothewholebodyasyoubreatheout.Youtrytodevelopasenseofgoodwillthat’simmeasurable,regardlessofwhatpeopledo.AndeventhoughtherearetimeswhenyouhavetosayNotopeople,oryouhavetosaythingsthataredispleasingtothem,thatdoesn’tmeanthatyourgoodwillhasshrunk.Becauseafterall,lettingpeoplegetawaywithallkindsofnastinessisnotbeingkindto

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them.You’recomingfromalargerawarenessthat’snotgoingtobedestroyedbyanything,onethatcantakeinthebiggerpictureandactforthelargergoodinthelongterm.That’stheperceptionyouwanttoholdinmind.Eventhoughyouhaven’tyetfullytouchedthatawareness,ordon’thaveareallysecureholdonit,thesimplefactthatyoucanhavethatconceptandreverttoitwhenyouneedithelpsgetyouoverandaroundalotofdifficulties.

Sopracticethinkingaboutyourawarenessintheseterms:broad,tall,deep,whattheBuddhacallsexpandedawareness,theexpandedmind,mahaggatamcittam,theheightenedmind,adhicittam.Thesearesomeofthekeyconceptsinthepractice,thekeyconceptsintheskillsyouneedtogetthemindpastsuffering.

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YourGyroscopeJanuary16,2010

Bringyourawarenesstothebreath.Thinkaboutthebreathandthennoticewhereyoufeelthebreath—notjusttheaircominginandoutofthelungs,throughthenose,butanyplaceinthebodywherethere’sasensationthatcorrespondstothebreathing:theriseandfalloftheabdomen,theriseandfallofthechest,themoresubtlefeelingsyoumayfeelinyourneck,yourhead,yourshoulders,yourback,yourarmsandlegs.Anyplacewhereyouclearlynoticeasenseofenergy,beawareofthat.

Andtrytoestablishasenseofbalance:Whatkindofbreathingfeelsright?Whatkindofbreathingistoolong?Whatkindofbreathingistooshort?Whatkindofbreathingisjustright—justlongenough,justshortenough?Thesamewithdeepandshallow,heavyandlight,broadandnarrow.Experimenttoseewhatbringsthebreathintobalance—andbringsthemindintobalancewiththebreath,sothatyou’renotclampingdownonittoohardand,atthesametime,notholdingittooloosely.

Theclassicimageisofapersonholdingababybirdinhishand.Ifyouholditalittletootight,thebirdisgoingtodie.Tooloose,andthebirdwillflyaway.Sotrytobringthingsintoasenseof“justright,”asenseofbalance,andseewhatyoucandotomaintainthatbalance.Ifthingscomeupinthemind,whatcanyoudonottogetsweptawaybythem?Youstayrightwhereyouare.It’slikebeinginashipoutintheocean.Thewavesriseandthewavesfall,butifyourshiphasagoodgyroscope,theshipdoesn’tloseitsbalance.

Thisprincipleisimportant.Thepracticeisnotonlyamatterofwhatyoudowhileyou’resittinghere,butalsoasyoutakeyourpracticeoutintheoutsideworld.Becausetheworldhasitswaves.There’smaterialgainandthere’smaterialloss;status,lossofstatus;praiseandcriticism;pleasureandpain.Thesethingsriseandfall,riseandfall,likewaves.Andsomeofthemareroguewaves.Theycomewithahugeriseinthewater.Sometimesthey’remoregentle.Butsometimesevengentlewavescanknockyouoveranddrownyouifyou’renotcareful.

Soyouwanttohaveasenseofagyroscopeinside,somethingthathelpskeepyouonanevenkeel.Partofthisisjustthephysicalsenseofhavingagoodcenterinside,acenteryoumaintainwhereveryougo.Itmightbeinthemiddleofyourchest,itmightbeinyourhead—anyplacewhereyoucanmaintainasensethat

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thebodyishere,andyourawarenessishere,andtheawarenessisn’ttootight.Thebloodisflowingeasily;you’renottensinguparoundyourcenter.Asforwhateversenseofeasethereisinyourcenter,thinkofitspreadingoutfromthere.Thenjusttrytomaintainthatsenseofcenter.That’sonekindofgyroscopeyoucancarryintoyourdealingswithotherpeople,whereveryourencountersare.Trytomaintainthatphysicalsenseofcenterassteadilyasyoucan,soyoudon’tgetknockedoverbythewavesofwhattheotherpersonmightbesaying,orhowyou’rereactingtothatperson.Whatevercomesup,youtrytomaintainthisbalanceinside.

It’simportanttomaintainthis,bothforyoursakeandfortheotherperson’ssake.There’sanotherclassicimageintheCanonoftwoacrobatsonthetopendofabamboopolesetverticallyintotheground.Thequestionis:Shouldtheylookaftereachotherorshouldeachlookafterhimorherself?Andtheansweristhatyoueachlookafteryourself,maintainingyourbalance.Youcan’tmaintaintheotherperson’sbalance,butthemoresteadilyyoumaintainyourbalance,theeasieritisforotherpeopletomaintaintheirbalancearoundyou.

Sothinkofthisphysicalsenseofcenter—wherethebreathenergyisgoodandyouconstantlytendtoit—asyourgyroscope.

Butyouneedmorethanjustthat.Youalsoneedtounderstandaboutthewaysoftheworld,andtheimportanceofmaintainingyourstateofmindassomethingsolidinthemidstoftheworld.Otherwise,eventhoughyoumayhavesomeskillinmaintainingyourphysicalsenseofinnerbalance,oldideasandoldvaluescancomewellingup.Ifyouhavenothingtofendthemoff,yourgyroscopewillgetknockedoffkilterandyou’llgetwashedaway.

Thisiswhyreflectingontheeightwaysoftheworldisahelpfulpractice.Whatdoestheworldhavetooffer?Justthoseeightthings:materialgain,materialloss,status,lossofstatus,praise,criticism,pleasure,pain.That’sit.Andwhatisthereofanylastingvalueinanyofthesethings?Theonlyvalueisifyoufindawaytodogood,say,withyourgainoryourstatus,andtolearnlessonsfromyourloss.Keepremindingyourself:Thisisthewaytheworldis.Thingscome.Thingsgo.Whentheycomeandgo,remindyourselfthattheyreallyweren’tyourstobeginwithanyhow.Whenyougoaroundflauntingyourgains,you’relikeamangoingaroundwithborrowedgoods,gettinghispleasureandsenseofself-esteemoutofthingsthatbelongtootherpeople.Buttheownershavetherighttotaketheirthingsbackatanytime.

That’sthewaytheworldis.Lookatyourmoney:Itdoesn’thaveyournameonit.Evenonyourcreditcard,thenameofthebankisbiggerthanyourname.It’smoreimportantthanyourname.Andthebankcancalltheircreditcardbackiftheywant.It’snotreallyyours.

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Soifyou’relookingforpleasureandsatisfactionoutside,you’relookinginthewrongplace,becausenoneofthesethingsreallybelongtoyou.Evenyourownbodydoesn’treallybelongtoyou.Youcanuseitforthetimebeingbutthenyouhavetosenditback.Inthemeantime,whileyouhaveit,youwanttomakethebestuseofit,sothatyoucangetsomethingofpermanentvalueorlastingvalueoutofittotakewithyouwhenyougo.

Soit’snotthepleasureofhavingthesethings,it’sthegoodnessyoudowiththem:That’swhatreallymatters.Whenyoulearntobegenerouswithmaterialthings,thatbecomesaqualityofgenerosityinthemind.Whenyouuseyourstatustohelpotherpeople,thatbecomesaqualityofcompassion.Thequalitiesyoudeveloparetheonlythingsthatreallystaywithyou,evenpastdeath.

Whenyoumeetwithpraiseandcriticism,youcandevelopthewisdomoflookingatwhatotherpeoplesay,lookingattheirintentions,andlookingatyourself.Afterall,sometimescriticismisveryuseful.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,ifsomeonepointsoutyourfaults,youshouldregardthatpersonashavingpointedoutatreasure.Inotherwords,ifthefaultsreallyaregenuinefaults,you’velearnedsomething—becauseourfaultsareveryhardforustosee.Wetendtohidetheminplaceswhereweknowwe’renotgoingtolook.Onlyifyouseeyourfaultsclearlycanyouworkwiththemanddevelopgoodqualitiesintheirplace.That’sagenuinetreasure.Andwhenpeoplepraiseyou,rememberit’stheirwayofencouragingyou,notjusttostaywhereyouarebuttogetbetter,tokeeponbeinggood.

Asforpleasureandpain,therearemanydifferentkindsofpleasure.Youwanttolearnhowtofindpleasurethat’snotintoxicating,thatdoesn’tbluryourmind’svisionwhenyoulookfortherealsourceofpleasureinside.Asforpain,theBuddhasaidthisisanexcellentwayoflearningthenobletruths.Thefirstnobletruthisstress:thestressthatcomesfromcraving,thestressthatcomesfromclinging.Whenyoufindthemindsufferingfrompain,youaskyourself,“Whereisthecauseofthatsuffering?”It’snotsomuchinthephysicalpain.It’sintheclingingandcravingwithinthemind.That’swhereyouwanttolook.

Whenyouadjustyourunderstandinginthisway,thenwhenthesewavesoftheworldgoupanddown,youcanlearnfromboththeupsandfromthedowns.That’swhenyou’resafe.Andyourgyroscopewon’tgeteasilyknockedoffkilter.You’llbeabletomaintainyourbalance.

Soyourprotectionisboththeconcentrationandthediscernmentworkingtogether.Thishelpsyoutomaintainyoursenseofbalance,sothatthingsthatusedtoknockyouoverdon’tknockyouoveranymore.Thewavescomepast,andtheyjustgopast.Youstayuprightasthingsgoupandasthingsgodown.That’stheskillyouwanttotakewithyou.Youcan’ttakethemonasterywithyou.Youcan’tfolditinalittlepackageandtakeithome,spreaditoutand

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surroundyourselfwithit.Butyoucantaketheskillsyou’vebeendevelopinghere.Trytomaintainthatcenterasyougetupfromwhereyou’resittinginmeditation,asyouwalkaround,whenyougotosleep.Trytostaywiththatsenseofthecenteruntilyoudriftoff.Whenyouwakeup,thatshouldbeyourfirstquestion:Whereismycenter?Establishthatbeforeanythingelse,andthenthinkaboutwhatyouhavetodonext.

Thewisdomliesingivingprioritytoyourgyroscopeinside,sothatnoneofthewavesoftheworldcanknockyouoffcourse.

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BettertoGivethantoConsumeAugust17,2011

IntheNovice’sQuestions,themostinterestingquestionistheveryfirst:Whatisone?Andtheansweris:Allbeingssubsistonfood.Thisiswhatdefinesusasbeings:thefactthatweneedfoodtomaintainourexistence.Andformostofusthat’sprettymuchallourlives.Whatweconsumeisthebigissue.

Yearsback,therewasaTVseries,LifestylesoftheRichandFamous,andtheydidn’tshowanyrichandfamouspeoplemakingtheirownthingsorshowingoffthingsthattheyhadproducedthemselves.Itwasallaboutwhattheyhadbought,whattheywereconsuming.Ourcultureisobsessedwithconsuming.OneofmyfavoriteNewYorkercartoonsshowsacouplesittinginalivingroom,talkingtosomefriends,andthehusbandissaying,“Ofcourse,it’shaditsupsanddowns,butbyandlargeMargaretandIhavefoundtheconsumerexperiencetobearewardingone.”

That’stheattitudemanyofusbringwhenwecometotheDhamma.We’reusedtoconsumingnotonlythingsbutalsoexperiences.There’sahugeindustry—theexperienceindustry—wherethey’llcreateexperiencesforyoutobuy.RememberbackawhilewhentheyadvertizedtheFordexperience?Theyweren’tsellingyouFords;theyweresellingyoutheexperienceofhavingaFord.ParkrangerstalkedaboutmaintainingtheYosemiteexperienceortheZionexperienceforpeopletocomeandconsume.Soit’sunderstandablethatwhenpeoplecometothemeditation,theythinkofthemeditationexperienceassomethingtheycanconsumeaswell.Wewantthebliss;wewantthepleasure,thesenseoffreedomthatwe’veheardthatwillcomefrommindfulnessandconcentration.Butinordertoconsumethosethings,wefirsthavetoproducethem.

Thisiswhy,whentheBuddhastartshisteachingsonthemostbasiclevels,hestartswithgenerosity.It’sthefirstoftheperfections,thefirstofhisteachingsinthegradualdiscourse,whenhe’sleadingpeoplestep-by-stepuptothefournobletruths.Hestartswithgenerosityandthenmovesontovirtue,therewardsofvirtueinheaven,thenthedrawbacksofthoserewards,andthenfinallythevalueofrenunciation.Oncethemindcanseethatrenunciationwouldbeagoodthing,thenit’sreadyforthefournobletruths.

Inmanyways,renunciationisacontinuationoftheprincipleofgenerosity.Youlearnthatyouhavetogivesomethingawayorgiveitupinordertoget

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somethingofgreatervalueinreturn.Soinsteadofencouragingustocometothemeditationasconsumers,theBuddhaencouragesustocomeasgivers.Whatareyougoingtogivetothepractice?

SomeofthefamousAjaansinThailandtalkabouthowthepracticeisonethingclearthrough.Inotherwords,itstartswithoneprincipleandjustworksouttheimplicationsofthatprincipleallthewaythroughtotheend.Andtheonethingisthisprincipleofgiving.Thisiswhatraisesusupbeyondandabovethelevelofjustbeingbeingsthathavetoconsumeandfeed.Remember,thearahantissomeonewhoisnolongerdefinedbyanydesireandsoisnolongerdefinedasabeing.Becausearahantshavefullycomprehendedfood,theirpathcan’tbetraced.Eventheirconsumingoffoodisagift.Thosewhogivetothearahantgetrewardedmanytimesover.That’swhythearahantistheonlypersonwhocaneatthealmsofthecountrysideandnotincuradebt.

Sothepracticeisoneofgivingfromtheverybeginning.Alltoooftenweencountertalksaboutdanaasthinlydisguisedrequestsformoney,whichiswhysomepeoplehavearealaversiontothetopic.ButtheBuddhahadanetiquettearoundthis.There’sastoryintheCanonofsomemonkswhowerebuildinghuts.Theystartedgettingintoacontestwithoneanotherastowhocouldbuildthenicesthut.Theywereconstantlyaskingformaterialsandworkmen,andthehouseholdersweregettingharassedwithallthebeggingandrequests.Whenthey’dseeamonk,they’dturnaway,runaway,closethedoor.Asthestorysays,sometimesintheeveningtheymightseeacowcominginthedistanceand,assumingthatitwasamonk,they’drunaway.Thingsgotthatbad.

SotheBuddhacalledthemonkstogetherandgavethemaseriesofstoriesabouthowpeopledon’tliketobebeggedfrom.Onestorytoldoftwohermits,anolderbrotherandayoungerbrother,livingnearariver.Anaga,averybeautifulnaga,wouldcomeupoutoftherivereverydayandjustshowitselftotheyoungerbrother.Thisfrightenedtheyoungerbrother,ashehadnoideawhatthenaga’sintentionswere,andwhoknowswhatthenagamighttrytodotohim.Sohewenttotheolderbrotherandaskedhim,“WhatcanIdotokeepthisnagafromcoming?”Sotheolderbrothersaid,“Doesthenagahaveanythingofvalue?”Theyoungerbrothersaid,“Yes,he’sgotabeautifuljewelonhischest.”Sotheolderbrothersaid,“Well,thenexttimeyouseethenaga,askforthejewel.”

Sothenextdaythenagacameandasthenagawasinfrontoftheyoungerhermit,thehermitaskedforthejewel.Sothenagawentaway.Thefollowingday,asthenagawashalfwayupfromtherivertothehermit’scave,thehermitaskedforthejewel.Sothenagawentaway.Andthethirdday,assoonasthenagacameoutoftheriver,theyoungerhermitaskedforthejewel,andthenagasaid,“Okay,enough.I’mnotcomingback.You’reaskingfortoomuch.”Andthenofcourse,afterthenagastoppedcomingback,theyoungerbrothermissedhim.It

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waskindofcoolseeinganagainyourmeditationlikethat.Butbythattimehe’ddrivenhimaway.

Sowhengenerosityispresentedaspartofabeggingtalk—that’swhatthose“danatalks”are;they’rebeggingtalks—it’snotreallywelcome.Asaresult,wemissthemeaningofgenerosity,andwemissalotoftheotheraspectsofthepractice,too,becausethepracticehastostartwithgenerosity.Generosityisnotjustamatterofgivingthings.Youlearnhowtogiveofyourtime,togiveofyourenergy,togiveofyourknowledge,andindoingsoyou’rechangingyourwholerelationshiptotheworldaroundyou.You’renotjustabeingwho’seatingandeatingandconsumingthingsandexperiences.You’refindingthatyou’vegotthingsinsidethatyoucanshare,thingsyoucangive,andthere’sasenseofwealththatcomeswiththat.Ifallyou’rethinkingaboutisconsuming—“WhatcanIgetoutofthis?WhatcanIgetoutofthat?”—you’repoor.Nomatterhowmuchyouhave,you’repoor—becausethere’salwaysabiglack.Butifyoucometoeverysituationwiththequestion,“WhatcanIgive?”you’recomingfromapositionofwealth.Andyoufindthatyoudohavereservesofenergyandknowledgethatyoucanshare,andinsharingyougainalotinreturn,alotwithmorevalue.

Bothgenerosityandrenunciationareformsoftrade.There’sapassagewhereamonksays,“Iwilltradewhatdiesforthedeathless.I’lltradewhatislimitedforunbinding.”You’retradingup.Youcan’tgetthebetterthingwithoutgivingupthelesserthing.Whenyouunderstandthat,yourealizethatwhateveryou’redoinginthepractice,youwanttocomewiththeattitudeofWhatCanIGive.Ifyoudon’thavematerialthingstogive,howaboutyourtime?Howaboutyourenergy,yourknowledge,yourskills?Whenyou’redealingwithotherpeople,thequestionisnotsomuch,“Howmucharetheyentertainingme?”or“WhatcanIgetoutofthem?”It’s:“WhatcanIgive?WhatcanIgivetothesituation?”Therearetimes,forinstance,whenthere’salotoftensionintheroom.Canyougivesomepeace?Canyougivesomehumor?Somethingtomakeitbetter.

Virtueisalsoagift.AstheBuddhasaid,whenyoumakeupyourmindnottoharmanyoneunderanycircumstances—nokilling,nostealing,noillicitsex,nolying,notakingofintoxicants—you’regivinglimitlessprotectiontoallbeings.Inotherwords,attheveryleast,fromyourquarter,theyhavenothingtofear.Asyougivethemlimitlessprotection,yougainashareinthatlimitlessprotectionaswell.Sovirtue,too,isagift.

Meditationisagift.Youhavetogiveyourenergy,youhavetogiveyourattention,todevelopyourmindfulness.Whenyou’refocusedonthebreath,it’sgoodnottoholdanythingback.Justthinkofyourselfplungingintothebreathandthebody,totally.Therewardisthatyoudevelopanall-aroundexperienceofeaseandrefreshment.Ifpartofyouispulledback,there’sapartofyouthat’snotsharinginthis,that’snotgaininganythingofrealvalue.

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Sotrytocometothepracticewiththeattitudethatit’sallaboutgiving.Ultimately,you’llbegivingupyourgreed,aversion,anddelusion,givingupevenyoursenseofselforyourmanysensesofself.Firstyougiveupyourunskillfulselvesasyoudeveloptheskillfulones,butthenafteryou’veworkedsohardondevelopingtheskillfulones,theBuddhasaidyou’vegottogivethoseup,too,forthesakeofyourlong-termwelfareandhappiness.There’sarewardthatcomesfromnothangingon.

You’realwaystradingup—butyoucan’ttradeupunlessyoustartgivingtobeginwith.Otherwise,ifyou’rejustinconsumingmode,you’relivingoffyouroldgoodness.

OneoftheBuddha’sforemostdiscipleswasawomanVisakha,whosenicknamewasMigara’smother.Itwasn’tbecauseshehadasonnamedMigara.HerfatherwasnamedMigara.Thereasonshewascalledhismotherwasbecauseshesawthathewasjustlivingoffhisoldmerit.Hewasjustinconsumingmodeallthetime,andshemadehimrealizethis.She’dlearnedtheDhammafromtheBuddhaandsoshetaughthim,“You’rejustlivingoffallyouroldmeritandifyoudon’tcreateanynewgoodness,you’regoingtorunout.”Thatwastheteachingthatconvincedhimtochangehisways.Becauseshewashisteacher,shewascalledhismother.ShehadgivenhimthegiftofDhamma.

Soremember,we’reheretogobeyondourselves,togobeyondjustbeingbeingsthatareconsumingallthetime.Wetrytoredefineourselves,notbywhatweeatorwhatweownorwhatweconsume,butbywhatweproduce,whatwecangive.Makingthisswitchinthemindchangeseverything.Difficultpatchescomeupinthemeditationandyouaskyourselfnot,“Whyisthissobad?DoesthismeanI’mamiserablemeditator?”Yousay,“No,whatcanIgivetothissituationsothatitdoesn’tsnowball?WhatresourcesdoIstillhave?WhatcanIdrawontogivetothesituationtoturnitintoadifferentkindofsituation?”Whenthingsaregoingwell,again,whatdoyougivetomakesurethattheycontinuetogowell?Youdon’tjustsitthereslurpingupthepleasureandtherapture.Youlookafterthem.Yougiveyourenergytoprotectthem—sothatasyougetmoreandmoreintothegivingmood,whenyoufinallydohaveyourtasteofthedeathless,insteadoftryingtograbontoitorholdontoit,whichplacesaseparationbetweenyouandtheexperience,yougiveupanyclingingyoumighthavearoundit.That’showyoureachthedeathless.

Soingivingupyou’renotbeingleftadrift.You’regivingupthingsoflesservalueforthingsofgreatervalue.Butremembertheonlywayyoucantradeupistobewillingtogivesomethinginthefirstplace.Otherwisethere’snoexchange.

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ForgivenessNovember2,2010

Rightviewcomesinmanylevels.There’smundanerightview,whichdealsmainlywithactionandtheresultsofaction,theprincipleofrebirth,andtheconvictionthattherearepeoplewhoknowthesethingsfromdirectknowledge;it’snotjustatheory.Thenthere’stranscendentrightview,whichdealsmorewitheventsinthemind:suffering,itscause,theendofsuffering,andthepathtoitsend.Manyofusmakethemistakeofwantingtogostraighttothetranscendentlevel.Whowantstomuckaroundinthemundane?Especiallywhenyouhearthetheoryabouttwolevelsoftruth,thatthere’sjustconventionaltruthandthenthere’stheRealThing,sowhowantstogetstuckonconventions?

ButtheBuddhanevertaughtthatway.Hewouldleadpeopleintotranscendentrightviewbystartingwithmundanerightview.Itprovidesthecontextforunderstandingeverystageofthepractice,becausethemorerefinedpartsofthepracticehavetobuildonthebasics.Ifyoucan’tgetthebasicsright,thingsaregoingtogetskewedbythetimeyougettotheend.

Liketheissueofforgiveness:Forgivenessseemstobesuchabasichumanactivitythatweforgetthatourideasaboutforgivenessarepickedupfromourcultureandourviewofwhat’sgoingonintheworld.Ifyouwantforgivenesstobeahelpfulpartofthepractice,youhavetolookathowyourideasofforgivenessaretiedupwithyourviewsabouttheworld.

ManyofusintheWesthaveafeelingthatwe’vepickedupfromtheculture,thatthere’saplanforeverything:Theuniversehadabeginningpoint,it’sgoingtohaveanendpoint,there’sastory,andit’sgoingtocometoclosure.Nowtherearedifferentideasaboutwhatexactlythatstoryisandwhereit’sheaded,butjusttheideathatthereisabeginningpointandthereisanendpoint,thatthere’sapurposetotheuniverseatlarge:Thatrighttherehasabigimpactonhowwethinkaboutforgiveness.Ifthere’sabeginningpoint,youcantallyupwhodidwhatfirst:howmanytimesyou’vebeenwronged,howmanytimesyou’vewrongedtheotherperson,whoowesadebtofforgivenesstowhom.Iftheplanforallofthisisthatwe’regoingtobecomeonelovingcommunity,weneedtogetbackongoodtermswitheverybodyelse.Especiallyifwe’regoingtobedividedintotwocommunitiesforeternity—thosewhoareonlovingtermsandthosewhoarenotonlovingterms—everyonewouldwanttobeontheloving-

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termsside.Thisiswhywebelievethatforgivenesshastoinvolvelearninghowtolovethepersonyouforgave.

Thenthere’sanotherviewabouttheplanforallofthis,whichisthateachpersonhashisorherownindependentinspirationfromwithinandthatwe’renotinanypositiontojudgeanybodyelse.Inauniverselikethat,forgivenessisinappropriate.Howcanwejudgesomeoneelse’sbehavior?Whoareyoutodecidethatyou’reinapositiontoforgivesomebodyelsewhenyoucan’tjudgeanyone’sbehavioratall?

WeseethisnotonlyinmodernWesternculturebutalsointheMahayana.Severalyearsback,ascholarwhowasworkingonanearlyMahayanatextgotintouchwithmeandwantedtoknowwheretheprincipleofnotjudgingothersappearedinthePaliCanon,becauseapparentlyit’sallovertheMahayana:theideathateachbodhisattvahashisorherownindependentinspirationorpathtofollow,sonoonecanjudgeanyoneelse’sbehaviororteachings.IlookedaroundintheCanonandIcouldn’tfindit.ThereisactuallyalotaboutjudgingpeopleinthePaliCanon—whatprinciplesyoushoulduse,whatprinciplesyoushouldn’tuse—buttheideathatyou’reinnopositiontojudgeanybodyelsedoesnotappearintheBuddha’steachingsatall.

Inotherwords,youcanjudgewhenyou’vebeenwronged.Now,youmayhavesomemisperceptionsabouttheotherperson’sintentionsorabouttheactuallong-termimpactofthatperson’sactions,buttherearetimeswhenyouknowyou’vebeenwronged.Sowhatareyougoingtodoaboutit?

YoulookatitintermsoftheBuddha’smundanerightview.Hesaysthatthisprocessofwanderingoncomesfromaninconceivablebeginningandthere’snowaytomakesenseofit.Henevercomesdownforsureonwhethertherewasabeginningpointornot,buteitherwayyousimplycan’tconceiveit.It’stoofarback;it’stoobizarre.Asfortheendpoint,again,hedoesn’tmakeanystatementsaboutwhetherthere’sgoingtobeanendpointtoallthis.Buthispictureofhowtheuniversegoesthroughitscyclesisprettyrandom.Yougetalotofpeopleimprovising.There’snobigplan.There’snoonenarrativeaboutallthis,whichmeansthatifyoustoptoaskyourselfthatquestion—whowasthefirstpersontodowrong,youortheotherperson—youdon’treallyknow.

There’sastoryofSomdetToh,whowasafamousmonkin19thcenturyThailand.HewasabbotofamonasteryrightacrosstheriverfromtheGrandPalace.Oneevening,ayoungmonkcameintocomplainabouthowanothermonkhadhithim.SomdetToh’sresponsewas,“Well,youhithimbeforehehityou.”Andtheyoungmonksaid,“No,hecameupandjusthitmeoutofnowhere.Ididn’tdoanythingtohim.”AndSomdetTohkeptsaying,“No,youhithimbefore.”Theyoungmonkgotreallyfrustratedandwenttocomplaintoamonkhigherupinthehierarchy,andSomdetTohhadtoexplainhimself.He

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said,“Well,itmusthavebeeninsomepreviouslifetime.Thecomplainingmonkhittheothermonkfirst.”Ofcourse,thatmightnothavebeenthefirsttime.Itcouldhavebeenjustthelatestinstallmentofalongbackandforth.

Sothere’saninconceivablebeginningandnorealclosure.Differentpeopledecidethatthey’vehadenoughofthewandering-onandtheyfigureouthowtostop,butthatdoesn’tkeeptheotherbeingsintheuniversefromcontinuingtowanderonandon.There’snorealplan.Asoneofthechantswereciteintheeveningsays,“There’snooneincharge.”There’snooverallnarrative.

Whatthereis,though,isthequestion:Whatkindofkammadoyouwanttocreate?Iftheansweris“skillfulkamma,”thenoneofthethingsyou’vegottolearnhowtodoisnottogetfocusedonhowyou’vebeenwrongedbyotherpeople.Youdon’twanttogoaroundgettingrevengebecausethatjustkeepsthebadkammiccyclegoingonandonandon.

Thisiswhatforgivenessmeansinthecontextofmundanerightview:Youdecidethatyou’renotgoingtoholdanydangertothatperson.You’renotgoingtotrytogetbackattheotherperson.You’lllettheissuego.Whateverunskillfulnesshasbeengoingonbetweenthetwoofyou,youwantittostop—andithastostopwithyou.

Andthat’sit.Itdoesn’tmeanyouhavetolovethepersonorgoandkissandmakeuporanything,becausetherearesomecaseswherethewayyou’vebeenwrongedissoheavythatit’sreallyhardeventobearoundtheotherperson,muchlesstointeract.You’renotcalledontolovethepersonandthere’snoforcingoftheissuethatyouhavetocometoclosure,thatyouhavetocontinueweavingtherelationship.Youcanjustleavethefrayedendswavingintheair,andyou’redonewiththem.

Nowifyouwant,youcangoforareconciliation,butthatrequirestheotherperson’scooperationaswell.Bothofyouhavetoseethattherelationshipisworthcontinuing.Butthere’snosensethateverywronghastobereconciled,becausetherearelotsofcaseswherereconciliationisimpossible.Onesidejustdoesn’twantitorwon’tadmittohavingdonewrong.

YouseethisevenintheVinaya.TheBuddhaplacesaheavyemphasisonharmonywithintheSanghabutheneveradvisestryingtoachieveharmonyattheexpenseoftheDhamma.Ifsomeoneisadvocatingapositionthat’sreallyagainsttheDhamma,andyoucan’tgetthepersontochangehisorhermind,thenthat’sit.TheSanghaexpelstheperson.Oriftheconflictisbetweentwogroupsofpeople,oneofthemwilljustleave.Ifyoufigureoutthattheotherside’smotivationisjusttoocorrupt,thentheBuddhasaysyoucan’tachievereconciliationinacaselikethat.Youcan’tachieveharmony.Totrytoforceharmonybypretendingthatthere’snodifferenceorthatbothsidesareokay,is

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againsttheVinaya;it’sagainsttheDhamma.Soagain,there’snomasterplanthateverything’sgoingtohavetoget

resolvedintheend.It’suptoyoutodecideexactlywhereyouwanttotaketherelationship.Now,it’sforyourowngoodtogiveforgiveness,andforgivenessissomethingyoucangivefromyoursidealone,regardlessofwhethertheotherpersonacceptsyourforgivenessoreventhinksthatheorshedidsomethingwrongthatmeritsforgiving.Butforthesakeofyourowntrainingofthemind,forthesakeofgainingfreedom,youhavetoforgive.Youdon’twanttoposeadangertoanybody,yourselfortheotherperson.Youdon’twanttogetback,foritwillforceyoutokeepcomingback.

Asforbeingforgiven,youhavetoaccepttherearetimeswhenpeoplewillnotforgiveyouforsomethingyou’vedone—butthatdoesn’tmeanthatwhatyoudidwassoawfulthatnobodycouldeverforgiveyou.Again,it’stheotherperson’sindividualchoice.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,therearetwokindsoffools:one,thefoolwhoneveradmitshavingdonewrong;andtwo,thefoolwho,whenpresentedwitharighteousandsincereapology,refusestoacceptit.Now,asincereapologymeansnotonlythatyoureallyaresorry,butthatyou’realsosincereabouttryingnottodothatagaininthefuture,whateveritwas.Somepeoplearewiseandthey’llacceptthatkindofapology.Otherpeoplearefoolish.Youcan’tmakeyourhappinessdependontryingtogetthemtoforgiveyou,toovercometheirfoolishness.

Sokeepthatphraseinthebackofyourmind:“There’snooneincharge.”There’snooverallnarrativethatsayseverythinghastobetiedupintoniceneatpackages.Noteverystoryhastocometoclosure.Thinkofyourselfmoreasanauthorjusttossingoutstoryideas.Ifthestorygetstothepointwhereit’snolongergood,it’snotgoingtogoanywhere,soyoujustthrowthestoryawayandstartanewstory.

Thisisoneoftheadvantagesofmundanerightview:Itallowsyoutostartnewstoriesallthetime,storiesinwhichyoulearnhowtodevelopskillfulqualities.Howeverbadyourupbringingorhoweverbadyou’vebeenbehavinginthepastorhoweverpoorlyyou’vebeentreatedinthepast,youovercamethedifficulties;youtookchargeofyourlife.Yourealizedthatwhateverhappinesswasgoingtobetrueandlastingwasgoingtohavetocomefromtrainingthemind,givingupanydesiretosettleoldscores,ortogoaroundlovingeverybodyorbeinglovedbyeverybody.Yougivethoseattitudesup.

Nowyoudodevelopgoodwill.Goodwillisnotlovingkindness.Goodwillisthedesirethatallbeingsbehappy.Insomecasesthathappinesscanbefoundbycontinuingarelationship;inothercasesyouhavetosay,“Well,that’sitasfarasthisrelationshipgoes,butmayyoubehappywhereveryougo.”LikethechanttheBuddhagaveforwishinggoodwillforsnakesandscorpionsandratsand

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creepingthings:Mayallbeingsbehappy,whethertheyhavenolegsortwolegsorfourlegsormanylegs,maytheymeetwithgoodfortuneandmaytheynowgoaway.

Therearesomecaseswhereacontinuedrelationshipisnotgoingtobeagoodthingforeitherside.LikethestoryofAjaanFuangwiththesnakeinhisroom:Thesnakemovedin—Idon’tknowwhetheritwasduringthedayorthenight—andAjaanFuangrealizedhehadasnakeintheroombuthedecidedtotakeitasatest.Sohecontinuedlivingwiththesnakeinhisroomforthreedaystoseehowmuchfearmightcomeupinhismindandwhetherhereallycouldspreadgoodwilltosnakes.Andhewasspreadinggoodwilltothesnakeallthetime.Finally,onthethirdnight,hesatandmeditated,andinhismindheaddressedamessagetothesnake,whichwasbasically,“Wecomefromdifferentbranchesoftheanimalkingdom,likepeoplefromdifferentsocieties.Ourlanguageisdifferent,ourattitudes,ourbackgroundsaredifferent.It’sveryeasytomisunderstandeachother.Imightdosomethingthatyouwouldtakeoffenseat.It’dbemuchbetterifyouwentsomeplaceelse.Therearemanyniceplacesoutthereintheforest.”Andthesnakeleft.

Rememberthatoneofthosepassagesinthephraseforgoodwillis,“Mayalllivingbeingslookafterthemselveswithease.”It’snotthatyou’regoingtogoaroundtolookaftereverybodyelseandcleanupafterthemandtakecareofthemandtrytopleasethemandalwayshaveacloseintimaterelationshipwiththem.Therearesomebeings,somepeople,whereit’sreallyhardandit’stoomuchtoask.Youwanttofocusinsteadonyourownmind,makingsurethatyouhavenoillwillforanybodyandthat,attheveryleast,you’reharmlessinyourbehavior.

Whenyouunderstandforgivenessinthisway,thenthepracticeofforgivenessisaloteasier.Andit’salotmoreconducivetobecomingfree.

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StubbornClingingJuly26,2011

Theterm“becoming”referstothemind’shabitoftakingonanidentityinaworldofexperience.Thiscanrefertooursenseoftheworldoutsideandouridentitywithinthatworld,whetherit’sthesocialworldorthephysicalworld.But“world”canalsorefertoworldsinthemind.Asyoumeditate,you’reactuallytakingonastateofbecoming.Theworldhereistheworldofform:yoursenseofthebodyfromwithin.Forthetimebeing,youridentityisthatyou’rethepersonstayingwiththissenseofform:lookingafterthebreath,makingsureyourattentionstayswiththebreath,makingsureyourthoughtsstaywiththebreath,tryingtobesensitivetohowyourthinkinghasaneffectonthebreath.You’remonitoringthisatthesametimeasyou’redoingit,creatingthesenseofconcentrationinside.

AjaanLeewasonceteachinganoldscholarlymonkinBangkokhowtomeditate.Atonepointtheoldermonkcomplained.Hesaid,“Waitaminute,we’resupposedtobedoingawaywithstatesofbecomingbutwhenwe’remeditatingitseemslikewe’recreatingone.”AndAjaanLeesaid,“That’spreciselywhatwe’redoing:We’recreatingastateofbecoming.”Hewentontosay,“It’slikehavingachickenthatgiveseggs.Youdon’tjustdestroyalltheeggs.Youlearnhowtoeatsomeofthem.”Hedidn’tcompletetheimage,butifyouwanttolearnabouteggs,youneedtoeatinordertohavethestrengthtolearn.Soyouhavetoeatsomeoftheeggsyou’restudying.Butthatdoesn’tdepriveyouofeggstostudy,becauseineatingtheeggs,youhavetocookthemfirst,andincookingthemyoulearnalotabouteggs.

Soasyou’remeditatingonthebreath,you’vegotgoodeggstoeat.Themindhaslotsofotherwaysofeatingthatyoudon’twanttogetinvolvedwithrightnow.Everystateofbecominghastodependonclinging,andtheBuddha’swordforclinging—upadana—isthesamewordfortakingsustenanceorfeedingonthings.Soeverystateofbecominghastobebasedeitheronfeedingonviews,feedingonhabitsandpractices,orfeedingonyoursenseofyourself.Somestatesofbecomingfeedonsensualdesires:yourfascinationwiththinkingaboutsensualplans,thoseworldsyoucreateinyourmindaroundthesensualpleasureyouwanttogetfromfoodorpeopleorwhatever.Thatkindoffoodcanbebadforyou.

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Soaswedevelopastateofconcentrationhereinthemind,we’retrainingthemindtofeedinabetterway.Younoticeasyougothroughlifethatthemoreskillsyouhave,thewidertherangeofdifferentsensesofselfyoucandeveloparoundthoseskills.Youhaveanenlargedsenseofwhatyoucanmanipulate,whatyoucontrol,andifonesetofskillsdoesn’thelpinasituation,youcantryanother.Masteringconcentrationgivesyouanewrangeinwhichtomoveandexertcontrol,whichisreallyliberatingbecausesooftenwegettiedupinourunskillful,unhealthyworlds:statesofbecomingwherewe’reclingingtounhealthyviewsofwhoweareorwhattheworldshouldbelikeorhowthingsshouldbedone.Wecangetreallytiedupinwho’srightandwho’swrong.Somepeoplearesothoroughlyenmeshedintheirworldsthatyouwonderifthey’reevergoingtogetout.Theytotallyresistanyefforttopushthemoutortolurethemoutortopersuadethemthatwheretheyareisnotintheirbestinterest.

You’vealsogotcharacterslikethatinyourownhead:certainidentitiesyoutakeonincertainsituations,especiallywhenyoufeelyou’vebeenwronged.Thepartofyouthatfeelswrongedwantstohavejusticeserved.Youdon’tliketoheartheideathatmaybeyou’retheonewhocausedtheproblem.Oreveniftheotherpersonreallyiswrong,thefactthatyou’resufferingherecan’ttotallybeblamedontheotherperson.Sometimesyoutrytotalktothatmindstateaboutlettinggoandnotcarryingonwiththatparticularfight,anditwillreallyresist.Thatsenseofhavingbeenwrongedisprobablyoneofourstrongestmanifestationsofoursenseofself.Eventhoughyou’rebangingyourheadagainstthewall,ifsomeonethentellsyou,“Youknow,youreallydon’tneedtobangyourheadagainstthewall,”there’sastrongpartthatresists.Itdefinesitselfbythepainit’screating,andifitstops,it’safraidit’llbeannihilated.

Thisiswhenyouhavetogatherthedifferentmembersofyourcommitteearound,toshowthattherearealternativewaysoflivinginthisworld,waysthatdon’tinvolvesomuchfrustrationandpain.That’soneofthereasonswhywedeveloptheskillofbringingthisnewmembertothecommittee:thememberthat’sgoodatgettingthemindintoconcentrationandkeepingittherewithasenseofwellbeing,asenseoffullnessandrapture,refreshment,averygratifyingsenseofserenity.Thisgivesyouanalternativeplacetostay.Itgivesyouanewidentitytotakeonasyoutrytodealwiththemorestubbornandheedlessmembersthathavebeenbullyingtherestofthecommitteeforsolong.

Nowthisdoesn’tmeanthatoncethemindgetsagoodstateofconcentrationlikethis,it’sgoingtoautomaticallyslipoutofitsunhealthystates.That’swherediscernmenthastocomein.ThisiswhytheBuddhataughtthefournobletruths,whyhebeganthepathwiththefournobletruths:pointingoutfirstthatourclingingissuffering.Thisistheessenceofallthemind’ssufferings:itswaysofclingingtothefiveaggregates.Therecognitionofthissuffering—thestress,the

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painyou’recausingyourself—andtherecognitionthatit’snotnecessary:Thosearetheonlythingsthataregoingtogetyououtofthosereallystubbornmindstates.

Thatandrespectfortheteaching.Therearetimeswhenthesemindstatesaresostubbornthattheywon’tlistentoanybody.Whenthat’sthecase,ithelpsifsomeplaceinthemindthere’saseedoftheattitudethatmaybetheBuddhareallydidknowwhathewastalkingabout,andmaybesettlingscoresintheworldisnotwhatlifeisabout,andmaybefeedingontheinjusticesthatyou’vesufferedisareallymiserablewayoffeeding.Maybethere’ssomethingbetter.Whenyouhaverespectforthatattitude,respectforthatpossibility,that’swhenyouhaveanout.

Sooneofthedutiesofdiscernmentistonoticewhereyourstubbornnessis:thestubbornnessthatreallylikestoholdontoyoursensualfantasies,yoursexualfantasies,lust,whatever,forpeople,forthings,food,oryourverystrongviewsaboutwhat’srightandwrong,yourstrongviewsoftherightwayofdoingthings—“Ithastobedonethisway,itcan’tbedoneanyotherway”—oryourstrongviewsofwhoyouareandwhenyoufeelyou’vebeenwronged.You’vegottolearnhowtoferretoutthatstubbornnessandseehowtogetarounditbynoticingthesufferinginherentinthatkindofclinging.TohaverespectfortheBuddha’steachingsisabighelp.

TheBuddharecognizedthatthisisanimportantpartofteachingtheDhamma—i.e.,ofonepersonteachinganotherpersontheDhammaandalsoofyouteachingyourselftheDhamma.Therehastobeanelementofrespectalongwiththerealizationthatnomatterhowrightyoumaybe,ifthere’ssufferinginvolvedinthatrightness,something’swrong.Youalsoneedtorealizethatwhenyou’rewillingtostepbackfromthatsenseofrightness,it’snotlikeyou’reabandoningafightorforegoingthejusticeyoumightfeelyoudeserve.You’redoingitbecauseyou’resufferingandyoudon’thaveto.

Youseepeoplesufferingreallymiserableevents,andsomeofthemarescarredfortherestoftheirlives.Theyjustcan’tgetoverthatparticularsorrow,thatparticularloss.Andyetotherpeoplewho’vesufferedthesamesortofthingcanrealizethatfeedingonthatlossisnothelpinganybodyandsothey’reabletodropit.Whichsortofpersondoyouwanttobe?

Ifyouwanttobethesecondsort,youneedtolearnhowtodeveloptheskillstodealwithalltheplaceswherethemindisstubborn,holdingontoitsopinions,holdingontoitsrightness.Realizethatyou’retheonewho’ssufferingandyou’retheonecausingit.Otherpeoplemayhavecreatedbadoutsideconditionsforyou,butyou’retheonestabbingyourselfwiththem.They’veputknivesinyourpath,butyou’retheonepickingthemuptoinjureyourself,repeatedly.Howmuchlongerdoyouwanttocarryiton?

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SowhenwetalkaboutrespectfortheBuddha,Dhamma,andSangha,it’snotjustamatterofbowingdown.Admittedly,wedoalotofbowingdownaroundhere.It’spartlytoinculcatetheattitudethatmaybethere’ssomebodywhoknowsmorethanwedo.RespectfortheDhammameansrealizingthatyoudon’thavetosufferandit’syourchoice.Doyouwanttocontinuefeedinginwaysthatgiverisetosuffering?Ordoyouhaverespectforthealternativewhereyoudon’thavetosuffer?Thisrequiresswallowingsomeofyourpride.Butswallowingyourprideisabetterwayoffeedingthancontinuingtofeedoffyoursenseofhavingbeenwronged.

Actually,whenyouletgoofyourpride,youdon’tswallowit.Youspititout.Sothisiswhatitalwayscomesdownto:learningtospitoutalltheunhealthy

foodyou’vebeengobblingdown.Doyoustillwanttokeepsufferinginyourrightness,orhaveyouhadenough?WhenyoufindpartsofthemindthatresisttheDhamma,whatcanyoudotosoftenthemupabit?That’salotofthepracticerightthere.Theconcentrationhelpsinsofteningthesethingsupbecauseyoukeepremindingyourself:“Idohavethisotherskill.Ihavethisplaceofwellbeingthatdoesn’thavetodependonsettlingoldscoresoutthereintheworld,doesn’thavetodependontheworldoutsideatall.Andwouldn’tIbebetteroffadoptingtheperspectivethatcomesfromtakingthatasmymaincenter,mymainsourceoffood?”

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AVictorythatMattersApril16,2011

“Betterthanvictoryoverathousandisvictoryoveroneperson—yourself.”ThisisaverseintheDhammapadathatpointstosomeveryimportant

questions:Whatexactlydoyouwanttowininthislifetime?Whatdowanttogain?Whatbattlesareworthfighting?Theprimarytalentofagoodwarriorisknowingwhichbattlesareworthfighting,whichonesarenot,andknowingwhenit’stimetoacceptdefeatforthestrategicpurposeofcomingoutaheadsomewhereelsethatmattersalotmore.Therearethingswemaywantoutofotherpeoplethattheydon’twanttogive,likerespect,acknowledgmentofourexistence,oracknowledgmentofourworthasaperson.Thenyouhavetoaskyourself,“Isitreallyworthfightingfor?Whatdoesthefightingaccomplish?Isitgoingtogainanyrespect?Andevenifitdoes,howmuchisthatrespectworth?”

Therearesomanybattlesintheworldthatjustleadtobadkammaevenwhenyouwin,sometimesespeciallywhenyouwin.Lookatthehistoryoftheworldwhennationsthatwonbattlesendedupbeingtransformedintotheenemy,takingontheenemy’scharacteristics.Isthiswhatyouwant?Atthesametime,whenyouwinabattle,yougaintheanimosityofthosewholost.

ThisiswhytheBuddhasaidthatit’sbettertofocusonthebattlesinside,battlesoveryourowndefilements,greed,aversion,anddelusion.Thosearethebattlesthatcanbewon,andwhenyouwin,youdon’tcreateanybadkamma.Asforwhetherthepeopleoutsidewillacknowledgeyourvictory,thatdoesn’treallymatter.Infact,asAjaanLeeoncesaid,“Thingsthatotherpeopleknowaboutaren’tsafe.Youknowforyourself;nobodyelsehastoknow.”

LookatthehistoryofBuddhism.Whereisthehistoryofthosewhotrulygainedawakening?Althoughsomepeoplereportedlyhavegainedawakening,eitherthroughtheirownreportorthroughthebeliefoftheirfollowers,whoreallyknows?It’ssomethingpurelyinternal;that’swhereitmattersmost.

There’sanotherthingthat’spurelyinternalaswell.That’syourexperienceofsuffering.Weeachsuffer;however,wecan’tfeelanotherperson’ssuffering.Wecansometimessensethatthey’resuffering,althoughwecan’tactuallyfeeltheirpain.Weonlycanfeelours.It’sthesubjectiveexperience.TheBuddhapointsoutthatthesufferingthatreallyweighsdownonthemindisnotthesufferingthat

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comesfromotherpeople.It’sthesufferingyoucauseyourself.So,ifyoucanwinthatbattle,you’vewontheonethatreallymatters.

Lookatthewaysyou’recausingyourselftosuffer.This,accordingtotheBuddha,istheissuetowhichweshouldgiveprimaryimportance,andyetforthemostpartwe’reignorantofit—andthatignoranceisaprimepartoftheproblem.Hedefinesignorancenotsomuchasignoranceofhisteachingsasawhole,butmoreignoranceofthefournobletruthsandthetasksappropriatetothem:comprehendingsuffering,abandoningitscause,realizingitscessation,anddevelopingthepathtoitscessation.Justknowingthosethingsdoesn’tendtheproblem.Youhavetoactuallylookatthingsintermsofthenobletruthsandtreattheminlinewiththetasksappropriatetothosetruthsuntilyoucanmasterthosetaskstothepointofcompletion.That’swhenyourignoranceisended.

Howareyougoingtocomprehendsuffering?Howareyougoingtoletgoofitscauseandrealizeitscessation?Bydevelopingthepath.Whatinthemindfightsthatbysayingthatotherthingsyou’dratherdoaremoreimportant?Thepartofthemindthattossesupallkindsofobstacles.Youcouldgoalongwiththeobstaclesandblockyourpath,oryoucantaketheBuddha’sapproachbylookingathowsufferingfeelsfromtheinsideandhowalltheprocessesthatleadtosufferingfeelfromtheinside.

Oneoftheprocessesyouhavetowatchfromtheinsideistheprocessofrebirth.

AnissuethatcomesupoftenwithpeoplewhoobjecttotheideaofrebirthisthattheywantaclearexplanationfromtheBuddhaonthemechanicsofrebirth,onwhatitwouldlookliketoanoutsideobserver.Howcoulditwork,especiallygivenourmodernscientificviewonhowthingswork?Itdoesn’tmakeanysense,theysay.Sotheyclingtoamaterialisticview,asifholdingeverythingtothetestofamaterialisticviewwouldproveordisproveit.Buthasthematerialisticviewmadeushappy?It’sprovideduswithsomeconveniences.It’ssolvedanynumberofmaterialproblems.Butithasnevermadepeoplehappydeepdowninside.Itcertainlyhasn’tmadethembetterpeoplethantheywerebefore.Thehumanraceisjustassavageasitwasbeforethescientificrevolution.

Thatshouldindicatethatthematerialisticviewdoesn’thavethefinalwordonthings.It’sliketheMBAapproachtobusiness,whereonlyprofitmatters.Wheneverythingelsehastobesacrificedforprofit,seewhathappens.Everythingdoesgetsacrificed.Societiesbreakdown.Thesocialfabricgetstornapart.Thisiswhathappenswhenanarrowviewbecomesascendantanddemandstobeascendantineveryarea.

It’snotjustnowthatpeoplearechallengingtheBuddhaaboutthemetaphysicsofrebirth.Backinhistimeitwasacontroversialissue,too.

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OneofthemajorfallaciesthatyouhearrepeatedlyisthattheBuddhajustpickeduptheideaofrebirthfromhisculturebecausethat’swhateverybodybelieved,andnobodythoughttoquestionit.Peoplewerequestioningit.“Isthelifeforcethesamethingasthebodyorisitsomethingelse,separatefromthebody,somethingdifferentfromthebody?”Thatquestionwasahotissueatthetime,anditwasdirectlyrelatedtothequestionofrebirth.Ifthelifeforcewassomethingdifferentfromthebody,thenyouhadametaphysicalexplanationforhowrebirthcouldhappen.Ifitwasthesamethingasthebody,thenrebirthwouldbeimpossible.ButtheBuddharefusedtotakeapositiononthequestion.It’soneofthosetenquestionshesetaside.Thebattleofmetaphysicsisnotworthwinning.Yousay,“Whatisitthattakesrebirth,whereisit,canyouseeit?”Butthequestiontakesyounowhere.

TheBuddhaentirelyavoidedthequestionofwhethertherewasorwasnota“what”behindtheprocess,buthedidexplainhowtheprocesshappens,andhowit’sexperiencedfromtheinside.Youwouldn’tberesponsibleforthe“what”anyhow,butyouareresponsibleforthe“how.”It’spartofthesuffering—birth,aging,illness,anddeath—thatcomesfromyourcraving.Becausebirthcomesunderthecategoryofsuffering,it’ssomethingyouhavetocomprehend.Youdon’tcomprehenditintermsofsomebody’stheoryabouthowtheworldworks,butintermsofhowyoudirectandexperiencetheprocessesofthemind.Thisiswherethebattleisreallyimportant,becauseit’sthroughcravingthatrebirthhappens.

ThinkofthefourDhammasummaries:theworldisinsufficient;there’snooneincharge;ithasnothingofitsown;it’saslavetocraving.Eventhoughit’sfilledwiththingsthatareinconstant,stressful,andnot-self—aging,illness,anddeath—cravingkeepsuscomingbackforallthatunsatisfactorystuff.Ifyoucan’twinoutoverthatcraving,youreallyhaven’twonanythingworthwhile.Thewholepointofthefournobletruthsisthatyou’reresponsibleforthiscravingandyoucanputanendtoit.Andit’snothingfaraway.It’ssomethingyoudirectlyexperiencerighthereandnow.

ThisiswhytheBuddha’sapproachiswhatyoumightcallphenomenology:howphenomenaaredirectlyexperienced,withoutanyreferencetowhatthereisbehindthatexperience—andwithouttryingtoimposeyourideasofwhat’sbehindexperienceonsomebodyelseorlettingthemimposetheirsonyou.You’remeditatingtolookatexactlywhatyourmindisdoingrightnowtocreatethephenomenonofsuffering.Whenyoucanseecravingandignoranceinaction,you’vegotthefocalpointforthereallyimportantbattle—thebattlethat,whenyouwinit,you’vewonsomethingreallyworthwhile.

Thebigissueinlifeisthatwedon’twantsuffering,butwekeepcreatingit.AjaanSuwatwouldoftensay,“It’sthroughourownstupidity.”Heoften

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translatedignoranceas“stupidity.”It’shappeningrightbeforeourveryeyes,righthereinthemind.It’snotsomemysteriousprocessoffsomeplaceelse.It’scausingsufferingrightbeforeoureyes.Thesufferingisnotoffsomeplaceelseeither.We’retheoneswhokeeplookingoffsomeplaceelsewhileignoringwhat’srightherenow.

Themeditationgivesustoolstoovercomethatignoranceandcraving.That’swhatwe’rebasicallygettingvictoryover.Wedothisbyseeingthroughthesethingsandunderstandingwhywe’redoingthem.Wethinkwecangetsomepleasureoutofthem,butwehavetolookverycarefullyatthatpleasure,toseewhywe’resoattachedtoit.Hereagain,theproblemisn’tmetaphysical.Ourattachmentdoesn’tcomebecausewehavesomemetaphysicalbeliefaboutwhetherthingshaveanessenceordon’thaveanessence.That’sprettyirrelevant.Weclingtoactionsthatwekeepdoingoverandoverbecausewe’readdictedtothem,andwe’readdictedtothembecausewebelievethatthepleasuretheygiveoutweighsthepaintheycause.Weseeitthatwaybecausewe’renotlookingcarefully.We’reignorantofourownactions.

Toovercomethatignorance,youneedagoodpointofcomparisonagainstwhichyoucanmeasurethatpleasureandpain.Thisiswhyyou’repracticingconcentration.Youtrytodevelopastateofgoodsolidconcentrationinthemindwithasenseofeaseandwellbeingthatcancomesimplyfrombeingwiththebreath,beingabsorbedinthebreath,fillingthebreathenergythroughoutthebodywithasenseofhealthyenergy.Thisputsyouinagoodpositiontocomparethings.Youcanlookattheotherpleasuresyoufollowedinlifeandask,“Aretheyanythinglikethisbreath?Aretheyassteady,reliable,andharmlessasthiskindofpleasure?”You’retrainingyourselftobeaconnoisseurofpleasure,sothatyoucanreallyunderstandwherethepleasurelies,wherethepainlies,andhowthingsstackup.Whichpleasureisgreater?Howaboutthepainofgoingbacktoyouroldwaysoflookingforpleasure?Youseethesethingsalotmoreeasilywhenyou’recomingfromavantagepointofstablewellbeing.

Eventhoughconcentrationisn’ttheultimate,itdoesgiveyouahigherstandardforunderstandingwhattruepleasurecanbe.Itdoesn’tautomaticallyweanyouoffofyouroldwaysofthinking,butitgivesyouabasisforactuallydoingtheworkofcontemplation,especiallywhenyourealizethatfollowingyourdailypleasuresgetsinthewayofthispleasureofconcentration.You’vegottomakeachoice.Onceyouadmitthatyou’vegottomakethechoice,thenit’seasiertosortthroughyourotherpleasuresandstartseeingwhichhabitsyou’rewillingtosacrifice.Whenyoucandropthem,you’vewonavictoryovertheclinging,craving,andignorancethatkeptyouboundtothosehabits.

Thisiswherethevictoryreallymatters.Asforwhatthepeopleintheoutsideworldmightthink:Whydoyouwanttogainvictoryovertheirheartsortheir

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opinions?Whatdoesitaccomplish?Especiallyifthey’reresistant.Youjustdevelopbadhabitsofprideandthedesiretocontrolothers.Youloseouttoyourowndefilements,thekindofdefeatthatcanreallybeharmful.

Learntoseethatdefeatasawarningthatyou’refocusingonthewrongbattles.Thenusethatrealizationtosetyourheartongainingavictoryoveryourgreed,aversion,anddelusion;yourcraving,ignorance,andclinging—sothatthisverypersonalsufferingthatyou’recausingyourselfcanfinallystop.Nobodyelseneedstopraiseyouforthis.Nobodyelseneedstoknow.Whenyoureachthisdeathlesselementinside,itisitsownreward,worthmuchmorethantheopinionsofotherpeople.Giveitachance.SeeifwhattheBuddhasaidwasreallyright,thatthisiswheretruehappinesslies,andthatthere’snootherhappinessthatcancompare.Ashesaid,theflavoroftheDhammabeatsallotherflavors.

Soseeifyoucancometotastethatflavoranddecidewhetherhe’sright.

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Gratitude&TrustOctober12,2010

TonightmarksthetwentiethanniversaryofthefoundingofWatMetta.ItwasonOctober12,1990,thatthelandwasfirstpurchased.Andit’sgoodtoreflectonhowmuchweowetothepeoplewhofirstthoughtuptheideaofhavingthismonasteryandtothepeoplewhosegiftoflandandwhosedevelopmentofthelandintoamonasteryhaveprovideduswithanopportunitytopractice.

Heretherearetwothemesworthyofreflection.FirstistheBuddha’ssaying,Vissasaparamañati:Ourforemostrelativesarethoseforwhomwefeeltrust.ItwasAjaanSuwatwhofirstthoughtuptheideaofhavingthismonastery.Thedonoroftheland,thepeoplewhogavemoneyandtimeandenergytogetthemonasteryofftheground:Theyweren’trelatedtousatallandyettheyhadasenseoftrustinfuturegenerationsthatthiswouldbeagoodthingtodo,agoodgifttogive,andtherewouldbepeoplewhowouldtakegoodadvantageofit.AstheBuddhasaid,thatrelationthroughtrustismuchcloserthanourbloodrelations.Ifyou’relikeme,youhavesomebloodrelativesforwhomyoufeelnotrustatall.Thesenseofrelatednessthereisprettyweak.Butthepeopleforwhomyoufeeltrust:That’sarelatednessthat’sverystrong—thekindofrelatednessthatkeepstheworldgoingandgivesusasensethathumansocietyisaworthwhilething.

Whichrelatestoanothertopic:gratitude.There’sasayingthattherearetwopeoplewhoarehardtofindintheworld.Firstisthepersonwho’sanupakari:someonewhohelpsyoubeforereceivinganyhelpfromyou.Secondisthepersonwho’sreceivedthatkindofhelpandfeelsgratitudeinresponse.Bothofthesepeopleshouldbecherished.

There’salotofmisunderstandingaroundthetopicofgratitude.Wetendtoconfuseitwithappreciationandcontentment.Appreciationiswhatyoufeelforthingsorincidentsfromwhichyoubenefit,butnooneelse’sgoodintentionsareinvolved.AnexampleofappreciationwouldbethestorytheBuddhatellsofthemanwhohastocrossoverariverandrealizeshe’sgoingtoneedaraft,sohemakestheraftandthenswimsacrossindependenceontheraft.Whenhegetstotheotherside,hesays,“Howhelpfulthisrafthasbeentome!”That’sasenseofappreciation:Withouttheraft,hewouldn’thavegottenwherehewas.Butthe

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factthatheappreciatestheraftdoesn’tmeanthathehastocarryitaroundwithhimfromthenon.Hepullsituponlandorhesinksitdowninthewaterneartheshoreandthengoesonhisway.

Inotherwords,withappreciationyourealizethatyouhavebenefitedfromsomething—anditcanbeathing—andyettheneedtorespondisprettyminimal.Inthecaseofsomethingyoucancontinuetouse,youtakecareofit.Andthentherearecasesofreallynegativeeventsthathelpedtoturnyouaround.Someonemayhavedonesomethingthatwasreallynasty,butyougrewintoastrongerpersonbecauseofit.Youwanttohaveanappreciationforthefactthatsometimesyoudobenefitfrommisfortune,butthatdoesn’tcarrythelessonthatyoushouldheapmisfortuneonotherpeopleforthesakeofwhatyoucanrationalizeastheirbenefit.Withgratitude,though,you’vebenefitedfromsomeone’sgoodaction,andthatdoescarrythelessonthatgoodactionsareneededforhumansocietytocontinue.

Asforcontentment,thatsimplymeansbeinghappywithwhatyou’vegot,realizingthatyouhavegoodthingsandit’senoughforthesakeofthepractice.Thegoodthingsdon’thavetobeallthatgoodbuttheycanbegoodenoughsothatyoudon’thavetokeepscramblingformore.That’scontentment.

Asforgratitude,that’smorerelatedtotheteachingonkamma.WhentheBuddhaintroducedthetopicofgratitude,hedidsointhecontextofexplainingkamma.Aftersayingthattherearegoodandbadactionsthatleadtogoodandbadresults,hewentontosay,“Thereismotherandfather,”whichsoundslikeanonsequiturandsomethingperfectlyobviousexceptforthefactthatinthosedaystherewerepeoplewhosaidthereisnosuchthingasmotherorfather,meaningthatyourparentsjustgavebirthtoyoubecausetheywerecompelledbyforceslargerthanthemselves.Whoevercreatedtheuniversedecreedthattheyweregoingtogivebirthtoyou,soitinvolvednogoodnessontheirpart.Thefactthattheylookedafteryouwasalsodecreedbysomeoutsideforcesoagain,therewasnogoodnessontheirpart.Whatthisstatementmeans—“Thereisnomotherorfather”—isthatyoudon’towethemanything.

SowhentheBuddhasaid,“Thereismotherandfather,”hemeanttheopposite:thatyoudoowesomethingtoyourparents.Youoweadebtofgratitudebecausetheywereabletomakethechoiceofwhethertheyweregoingtocareforyouornot.Itwastheirchoicenottoabortthepregnancy.Itwastheirchoicetoteachyouabouttheworld:howtowalk,howtotalk,howtobehave.Andregardlessofhowfoolishtheymayhavebeeninotherways—andtheBuddhaadmitsthatthereareparentswhoarestingyandunvirtuousandprettyignorant—eventhenyouoweahugedebtofgratitudetothemforwhatthey’vedone,becausetheyhadtomakesomedifficultchoices.It’snotaneasythingtogivebirthtoachildortoraiseachild,andyettheymadethedifficultchoice.

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That’swhatmarksthewholeissueofgratitude:Peoplehavethepowertomakechoices.WhentheBuddhatalksaboutgratitude,thelanguageheusesfocusesonwordsthatderivefromtherootforaction:karinPali.There’supakari,thepersonwhohelpedyoutobeginwithandtowhomyouoweadebtofgratitude.Itliterallymeanssomeonewhoactedfirst.Andyourresponsetothatpersonshouldbethatyouaregoingtoactinreturn,patikarosi.Andeventhewordgratitudeitself,kataññu,meansthatyouknowwhatwasdone,youappreciatewhatwasdone.

Sogratitudeisnotjustageneralappreciation.It’sspecificallyanappreciationforactions,realizingthatyouhaveadebtcomingfromotherpeople’skindactions,adebtthatrequiresyoutodosomethinginreturn.Youhavetoreturnthegoodness.Andagain,eventhoughyourparentsmayhavebeenabusive,stilltheBuddhasaysyoutrytorepaythembyteachingthemoratleastbeingagoodexampleforthem.Hesaysifyourparentsarestingy,youtrytoinducethemtobecomemoregenerous;ifyourparentsarenotvirtuous,youtrytoinducethemtobemorevirtuous;iftheyhavenofaithintheprincipleofaction,youtrytodevelopthatsenseoffaithandconvictioninthem;andifthey’renotwise,youtrytoteachthemthewaysofwisdom.Ofcourse,it’sdifficulttoteachyourparents.Theydon’tlikebeingtaughtbytheirchildren,butyoucanteachbyexample.That’sonewayofrepayingthedebt.

Butthentherearecaseswhereyourparentsarenolongeraround—orthepeoplewhohelpedyouarenolongeraround,asinthecaseofLuangPuSuwat,whowasthefirsttothinkuptheideathatweshouldhavethismonasteryhere.Sohowdoyourepayyourdebttohim?Youthinkabouthisoriginalintentionandyoutrytomaintainthatintention:thegoodnessofhischoice,thegoodnessofhisideas.Youappreciatethatgoodnessandthenyoutrytoactinawaythatextendsthatgoodnessfurtherthroughtime.Hisintentionwastohaveaplacewherepeoplecouldpractice:quiet,secluded,withtreeswecouldsitunder.

ThinkaboutthetimeoftheBuddha,whowasbornunderatree,gainedawakeningunderatree,gavehisfirstsermonunderatree,andpassedawayunderatree.TouseAjaanSuwat’swords,“TheinstitutionofBuddhismwasestablishedintheforest.”Sohewantedtheretobeaplacewhereyoucouldreallybeoutinthetrees,outinthewilds,thatoffersboththeseclusionthat’sneededtopracticeandalsosomeofthedifficulties.Wemisssomeoftheconveniencesoflifeintownhereoratleastwedon’thavethem,andit’sagoodtest.Ifthingswereverycomfortable,veryeasy,andveryconvenient,you’dhavenotestagainstwhichtomeasureyourgreed,aversion,anddelusion.Butthehardshipsaren’tsooverwhelmingthatwecan’tpractice:That’sthewholepoint.Sothatwashisintentionforstartingthisplace.That’sthemeaningofthisplace.Tokeepmaintainingthemeaningoftheplace,youwanttokeeppracticing.We’re

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indebtedtothepeoplewho’vemadethispossible,andsothebestwaytorepaythatdebtistofocusonthepractice.

TheThaiwayofexpressingthisisthatotherpeoplehavestartedweavingsomethingandsoyoucontinuetheweaving.Youdon’tlettheedgesgetallfrayed.Thisiswhatgratitudeisallabout:It’sasensenotonlythatyouappreciatethechoicesthatpeoplemadebutalsothatyouneedtorespond.Thewordpatikarotimeanstorepayortomakeamends,butitcanalsomeantoimitate.Inotherwords,youimitatethegoodnessthattheydid,theintentionthattheyhad.Youtrytocarrythatout.That’stheresponsethatkeepstheirgoodnessalive.

There’sthatquestionthatpeoplewouldoftenaskAjaanFuang:“HowcanIrepayyouforhavingtaughtme?”andhisresponsewas,“Bereallyintentonthepractice.”That’sthebestrepaymentrightthere.

SothisiswhytheBuddha’steachingsongratitudeareallsurroundedbywordsthatdealwithaction.Youappreciatesomeone’sgoodactionsandthenyourealizethere’sanactionthat’scalledforfromyou,anappropriateresponse.That’swhatmakesitdifferentfromappreciationorcontentment.AstheBuddhasaid,it’sacharacteristicofagoodpersontofeelgratitudeandtowanttorepaythatdebtinonewayoranother.ThisiswhyAjaanFuangwouldoftensay,ifhesawsomeonewhowasungratefultohisorherparents,thatyoudon’twanttohaveanythingtodowiththatperson,forthatpersondoesn’tvaluegoodness.Ifthatpersondoesn’tvaluethegoodnessofhisorherparents,youcan’ttrustthatpersontobegoodtoyou.Gratitudemeansthatyouvaluegoodness;youappreciatethedifficultiesthatareinvolvedinmakingtheskillfulchoiceandcarryingitout.Whenyouappreciatethatandhavegratitudeforit,you’remorelikelytomakethesamekindofeffortyourself.

Sokeepinmindthedistinctionbetweengratitudeontheonehandandattitudeslikeappreciationorcontentmentontheother.Someonesaidrecentlythatgratitudeiswantingwhatyouhave.That’sactuallyadescriptionofcontentmentorappreciation.Gratitudeismorefocused.It’sfocusedonactions:theactionsyou’vebenefitedfromandtheactionsyoufeelcalledontomakeinresponsetorepayyourdebtofgratitudeandtotrytocontinuethisstreamofgoodnessintotheworld,onintothefuture,soallofthebenefitsthathavebeenentrustedtouswillbearfruit.That’showweshowthatwe’reworthyofthattrust.

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AnApprenticeshipinIntegrityJuly9,2011

There’satermthattheBuddhaoftenyokeswiththephrase“thenobleones”andthat’s“peopleofintegrity.”Alargepartofthetrainingislearninghowtodevelopintegrity.It’snotjustlearningafewideasorafewprotocols.It’saqualityoftheheart,ofyourbehavior,ofyourcharacter.Andittakesmorethanjustunderstandingwordstodevelopintegrity.Youneedawell-directedintention,andsomegoodexamplestoabsorb.

There’sapassagewheretheBuddhatalksaboutsevenqualitiesofapersonofintegrity.Oftheseven,twohavetodowiththingsthatyoucanlearnfrombooksorfromlistening.Buttheotherfivehavetodowiththingsyoucanpickuponlybybeingaroundpeopleofintegrityandtryingtobecomeapersonofintegrityyourself.

ThetwoqualitiesyoucanlearnfrombooksorfromlisteningareknowledgeoftheDhammaandknowledgeofthemeaningoftheDhamma.YoucanlearntheDhammabylisteningandbyreading,andagoodpartofthemeaningyoucanpickupbytryingtofigurethingsout:readingonesuttaandthenreadinganotherone,comparingwhattheyhavetosay,tryingtogetasenseofwhattheBuddhameantwhenhewastalkingabout,say,sufferingoremptinessoranyofthosebigtermsthatplayamajorroleinthewayhetaught.Butevenhere,itreallyhelpstolivearoundapersonwhohaspracticedtheDhamma,forithelpstoputyourideasaboutthepurposeandmeaningoftheDhammaintoperspective.Emptinessmayseemtomeanonethingintheabstract,butwhenyousenseemptinessasit’sembodiedinanotherpersonitcanmeansomethingelseentirely.

Asfortheotherfivequalities,thefirstishavingasenseofyourself:whereyourstrengthsare,whereyourweaknessesare,whereyoucantrustyourself,whereyoucan’ttrustyourself,whereyouneedtoworkonyourself.Youcouldlookinawholelibraryofbooks,youcouldlookthroughtheentireInternet,andyouwouldneverfindthatkindofknowledge.Youhavetolookatyourselfinactionandyoualsohavetobearoundpeopleofintegritysoyougetasenseofwhereyoudoanddon’tmeasureup—andhowtheyseewhereyoudoanddon’tmeasureup.It’snotjustamatterofyourownopinion.Youhavetolistentotheiropinions,besensitivetotheirstandards.Youhavetoreadnotonlytheirwords,

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butalsotheirbehaviorandtheirbodylanguage.ThisiswhytheBuddhaputsomuchemphasisonchoosingagoodteacher.

Youwantateacherwhohashighstandardsandholdstothem,livesbythem.Thatwayyougettopickuphighstandards,too.Thesenseofyourownstrengthsandweaknesses—andparticularlythisissueofwhereyoucantrustyourselfandwhereyoucan’t—takesalotoftimeandsensitivitytodevelop.AstheBuddhasaid,youhavetobeveryobservantandwatchforalongtimetogainthiskindofknowledge.

Anotheraspectofapersonofintegrity’sknowledgeishavingasenseoftimeandplace.Again,youcanlearnthisonlybybeinginlotsofdifferenttimesandlotsofdifferentplacesandbeingaroundsomeonewhoissensitivetotimeandplacetoseehowthatpersondealswiththesetimesandplaces:when’sthetimetospeak,when’sthetimenottospeak;when’sthetimetoact,when’sthetimenottoact.That’ssomethingyoucanpickuponlybybeingaroundsomeonewhohasdevelopedthatkindofsensitivity.Anditrequiresthatyoubesensitive,too,thatyoubeopentothatperson’sinfluence.Atthesametime,youhavetolearnhowtocloseyourselfofftotheinfluenceofpeoplewhodon’thavethatsense.

Anotheraspectofintegrityishavingasenseofenough:howmuchisenoughsleep,howmuchisenoughfood,howmuchisenoughtalk,howmuchistoolittle.Youcanextendthesequestionsintoalltheareasofyourlife.Andagain,youcanpickthisuponlybybeingaroundotherpeoplewhohaveasenseofenough.It’salltooeasytofallintoapartofsocietywherethevaluesarereally,reallystrangeastowhatconstitutesenough.Youhearaboutpoliticianswhoseemtobehonestenoughwhenyouvoteforthem,butthentheygetintoadifferentcircleoffriendsoradifferentcircleofsociety,andwhatwasenoughbeforeissuddenlynotenough.Theystopbeinghonestbecausetheyhavetobecometwo-facedinstraddlingtwosocieties,showingonefacetoyouandanothertothesocietytheywanttoinhabit,wheretherearedifferentstandardsforwhat’sworthcompetingoverandwhatcountsassuccess.Soagain,youwanttofindsomeonewhohasareallyclearsenseofwhat’senoughandwhat’snotenoughbasedontheBuddha’sreflectionsontherequisites—howmuchfoodisreallyenough,howmuchclothing,howmuchshelter,howmuchmedicine.

Anotheraspectofintegrityishavingasenseofgroupsofpeople.TheBuddhadescribesthisasknowinghowtobehavearoundbrahmans,howtobehavearoundnoblewarriors,andsoforth.Forus,thiswouldincludeknowinghowtobehavearoundupperclasspeople,lowerclasspeople,peoplewithalotofeducation,peoplewithverylittleeducation.Howdoyoutalktopeoplelesseducatedthanyousothattheywon’tfeelyou’retalkingdowntothem?Howdoyoutalktopeopleaboveyouonthesocialscalesotheywon’tfeelyou’reaftertheirmoney?Moreimportantly,howdoyoutalkwithpeople,howdoyou

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behavetowardtheminawaythatyoucancommunicatewiththembutnotgetsuckedintowhateverweirdvaluestheymayhave?Havingasenseofgroupslikethisisnotjustamatterofbeingpleasingtothem.It’salsoamatterofholdingtoyourstandards.Howdoyounotgetsuckedintotheirstandards?Howdoyoudothatinsuchawaythatyou’renotcuttingoffalltieswiththosepeople?Thisisadelicateissue.Tolearnthis,youhavetobearoundthesortofpersonwhohasthatkindofsenseanddemonstratesitinaction.

Finallythere’sasenseofhowtojudgepeople.AccordingtotheBuddha’sstandards,youjudgepeoplebytheextenttowhichthey’rereallysincereinwantingtolearntheDhamma.Oncethey’velearnedtheDhamma,towhatextentaretheysincereintryingtounderstandit?Oncetheyunderstandit,towhatextentdotheytrytoapplyittotheirlives?Thosearetheareaswhereyoujudgepeople.Youdon’tjudgethembytheirrace;youdon’tjudgethembytheiroccupation;youdon’tjudgethembytheirage.Thewholepointofthis,ofcourse,isthatthestandardsyouusetojudgeotherpeoplearetheonesyouwanttousetojudgeyourself.TowhatextentareyousincerelyinterestedintheDhamma,sincerelyinterestedinputtingitintopractice?Thesearevaluesthatyoupickupbybeingaroundpeoplewhoexemplifythem,peoplewhoarepeopleofintegrity.

ThisisoneofthereasonswhytherelationshipthattheBuddhaprescribedforateacherandastudentisoneofanapprenticeship.Thewordantevasika,whichtheyuseforthestudentofamentorinthemonkhood,isthesamewordforapprenticeinallkindsofoccupations.Thevariousprotocolsoftheapprentice—howthestudentissupposedtobehaveinrelationshiptothepreceptor,inrelationshiptothementor—areverymuchanapprenticekindofrelationship.Youlivetogether.Infactthat’sthewordforthestudentwholiveswithapreceptor:saddhimviharika,onewholivestogether.Youlivewithyourpreceptor.Youspendalotoftimewiththepreceptor;youregardthepreceptorasyourfather;thepreceptor’ssupposedtoregardyouashisson.Andyoureallylookaftereachother.Whenthepreceptor’ssick,youlookafterhim;whenyou’resick,thepreceptorlooksafteryou.Youlearntogetsensitivetothepreceptor’sneedsbecauseyou’renotjusttryingtopickupverbalknowledgefromhim.Youwanttogainasenseofhimasapersoninallsortsofsituations.Whatdidthispersonlearnfromthetrainingwhenhewasapprenticed?Whatkindofqualitiesdidhepickup?

Idon’tknowifIcanexemplifyallthequalitiesthatAjaanFuangexemplified,butonequalityinparticularthatIreallyfeltcomfortablewithandIreallyadmiredhimfor,washissolidityinthefaceofantagonism.Therewerepressuresfromthelocalpeopletodropthisrule,dropthatrule,playfavoritesthiswayorthat,andhewouldn’tgivein,wouldn’tgivein.Hewassolidacrosstheboard.If

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thatmeantbeingunpopular,thatwasperfectlyfinewithhim.Oncehewasgoingtochoosethetreasurerforthemonasteryandhefinally

spottedsomeonehefelthecouldtrust.Butjusttomakesure,heaskedtheguyaquestion.Itwasaninterestingquestion.Hesaid,“Whichwouldyouprefer?Tobepopularortobewealthy?”Andtheguysaid,“I’dratherbewealthybecauseifyouhavemoneyyoucanbuypopularity.”AjaanFuanglikedtheanswer.Takethatandthinkaboutitforawhile.Whenyou’redealingwithsomeonewho’scaringforthemoneyatthemonastery,youdon’twantsomeonewho’sconcernedaboutbeingpopular.Thatsortofpersonwillgiveintopressureonewayoranothertomisusethemonasteryfunds.AndsureenoughIsawthetreasurerhavetostanduptoalotofpressure.Successfully.Hewasagoodexampletobearound.

SolearningtheDhammaisnotjustamatterofreadingbooksandunderstandingthewordsinthebooks.It’samatterofpickingupgoodhabitsofobserving,habitsofwalking,andhabitsoflooking,talking.Everythingyoudoispartofthetraining.WhichiswhytheDhamma’snotsomuchsomethingyoufindinbooks;it’saqualityoftheheartyoucanabsorbovertimebybeingobservant.

Thisissomethingthat’slostnowadays.PeoplethinktheycanreadtheDhammaandinterpretitinwhateverwaytheywantandthensetthemselvesupasDhammateachers.Iwasjustreadingrecentlysomeonesaying,“Well,asweallknow,meaningisaconstruct,meaningissomethingyoucreate,soeverybodyhasthefreedomtoreadwhatevermeaningtheywantoutofthetextsandnobodycansaythatanyoneelseiswrong.”Withthatattitude,theDhammabecomesjustonemorethingtobecreativeabout.Butthatwasn’ttheBuddha’spurposeinteaching.Hispurposewastolayoutthestepsofwhat’srequiredtoputanendtosuffering—whatworksanddoesn’twork.Andhelearnedwhatworksanddoesn’tworkbytestingthingsinaction.Then,whenhehadtestedtheDhammaandtestedhimself,hetaughttheDhammaandsetupasocialframeworktohelppasstheentirebodyofskillsalong.

Sothetextsaretherewithinacontext.TheteachingsoftheDhamma,therulesoftheVinaya,areallinthiscontextoftheapprenticeship:pickingupqualitiesoftheheart,pickingupasenseofvalues,frombeingaroundsomeonewhosebehaviorisDhamma.Afterall,thewholeideaofputtinganendtosufferingisaverystrongstatementofvaluesrightthere—thatthisistheimportantissueinlife.WhentheBuddhawastalkingaboutthefournobletruths,hewasn’tjusttellingusinformationaboutthefournobletruths.Hewasassertingavalue,thatthisisthemostimportantwayoflookingatthingstohelpattainthemostimportantgoalyoucansetforyourself:puttinganendtosuffering.Sotounderstandhim,youhavetounderstandnotonlythewordshe

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usestodescribesuffering,itscause,itscessation,andthepathtoitscessation,youhavetounderstandwhyallthisisimportant,whyhegivesthissuchhighpriority.

WhenWesternersfirstencounteredthetextsoutofcontext,they’dsay,“Oh,thisisaveryselfish,verynarrowapproachtospirituallife.”ButmyexperienceofgoingtoThailandandlivingwiththeajaanswasthesewerenotselfishornarrowpeopleatall.Theyreallyhadsomethingspecialandtheywantedtoshareit.Thiswasevidentineverythingtheydid.

Sothere’stheaspectoftheDhammathatyoucanpickuponlybybeingaroundpeoplewho’vetrainedintheDhamma,whohavebeentrainedbytheirteacherswhointurnwerewell-trained:peoplewho’vebeenwillingtoapprenticethemselves,topickupthevalues.Inthepast,thisaspectofdirectpersonalexamplewashighlyvalued,notjustintheareaoftheDhammabutintermsofotherskillsaswell.TherearealotofoldskillsthatusedtobepracticedinThailandthathavediedoutbecausetheteachersdidn’tseeanyoneworthyofpassingthemonto.Andthequestionofworthinesshadtodowiththecharacterofthestudent.

IoncebecamefriendswithawomaninBangkok,PaaPhaa,whohadbeenborninthepalace.Herfatherhadbeentheheadmusicianoftheroyalorchestracomposedofxylophones,gongs,andotherclassicalThaiinstrumentsduringthetimeofRamaVI.SoPaaPhaawasborninthepalaceandspentherchildhoodthere,partofwhichinvolvedlearninghowtocookfromthepalacecooks.Andshelearnedherlessonswell;sheknewallkindsofcleverandunusualcookingskills.Evenaftershehadleftthepalaceandhadtomakealivingonherownafterherhusbanddied,shedevelopedareallygoodreputationasacook.Infact,otherwomencametostudywithher.Shetoldmeonce,though,thatonewomaninparticular—amutualacquaintance—wasreallybegginghertoteachherhowtocook,andherresponsewas,“Idon’twanttoteachthiswoman;she’stooflighty.”Youmaynotthinkthatflightinesshadanythingtodowithcooking,butherattitudewasthatshehadsomethingreallyvaluableinhercookingknowledgeandshedidn’twanttowastehertimetrainingsomeonewhodidn’thavethecharactertobeagoodcook.AsfarasIknow,sheendedupteachingonlythreeotherpeoplehowtocook.Andherhighestpraiseformeonetimewaswhenshesaid,“Youknow,ifyouwerealayperson,I’dteachyouhowtocook.”Itookthatasahugecompliment.

Sowhatwe’relearninghereisnotjustthewords.It’saqualityoftheheartandaqualityofthecharacter.Ifyou’reopentolearningthatdimension,thesearethethingsyouhavetolookat:gainingasenseofyourself;gainingasenseoftimeandplace;gainingasenseofhowmuchisenough,howmuchistoolittle,howmuchistoomuch;gettingasenseofhowtobehavearounddifferentgroupsofpeople;andthengainingasenseofhowtojudgepeoplebytheircharactersothat

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youstartjudgingyourselfbyyourcharacter.Youneedtodevelopintegrityinordertoknowwhatintegrityis.Allofthesequalitiesgotogetherandtheyplayahugepartinthetraining.

Soit’snotjustameditationtechniquethatwe’relearninghere,andnotjustafewstatementsaboutthetruth.We’relearninghowtobeatrueperson,apersonofintegrity,tryingtoadoptandliveuptothesamestandardstheBuddhausedwhenhedefinedwhatapersonofintegritywas.

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TheBreathAlltheWayOctober2,2010

Mindfulnessofbreathing,keepingthebreathinmind,isthemeditationthemetheBuddhataughtmorethananyother,andhepraisedithighly.Hesaidthatitcantakeyouallthewaytoclearknowledgeandrelease:clearknowledgeofawakening,releasefromallsufferingandstress.It’salsothemeditationthemehetaughtinmostdetail.Youcanthinkofitasyourhomeasameditator.Youmayneedtogoforagingoutinotherareas,usingotherthemestodealwithspecificproblemsthatcomeupinthemind,butit’sgoodtohavethebreathashomebase,asafeplaceyoucomebackto.

TheBuddhawasonceadvisingthemonkstopracticebreathmeditation,andoneofthemonkssaid,“Ialreadypracticebreathmeditation.”SotheBuddhaaskedhim,“Whatkindofbreathmeditationdoyoupractice?”Themonkreplied,“Iputasidethoughtsofthepast,don’thankerafterthoughtsofthefuture,andtrytokeepthemindatequanimityinthepresentasIbreathein,breatheout.”TheBuddhasaid,“Well,thereisthatkindofbreathmeditationbutit’snotthemostbeneficial,notthemostproductive.”Thenhewentontoteachbreathmeditationinsixteensteps.

Soit’sgoodtoknowthesteps,becausethesearethemosteffectivewaysofmakingthebreathintoyourhomebase.

Thestepscomeinfoursets,andeachsetfollowsapattern:Yousensitizeyourselftoanaspectofthemindfocusingonthebreathinthepresent,thenyounoticehowthataspectisfabricated—inotherwords,howit’sshapedbyyourpresentintentions—andthenyoutrytocalmthefabrication.Inthefirstset,theaspectisthebreathitself,aspartofyourexperienceofthebody.Inthesecondset,theaspectyou’refocusingonconcernsthefeelingscreatedbythewayyoupayattentiontothebreath.Inthethirdset,theaspectyou’refocusingonisthestateofthemindasittriestostaywiththebreath.Andinthefourthset,youfocusonthementalqualitiesthatareinvolvedindevelopingdispassionforthewholeprocessoffabrication.

Becauseofthefocusonfabrication,thisisaninsightpractice.Becauseyou’reusingyourunderstandingoffabricationtobringthosefabricationstocalm,it’satranquilitypractice.Soyou’reworkingoninsightandtranquilityintandem,whichmakesthisanidealpracticeforawakening.

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Youbeginwithasimpleexercisetomakeyousensitivetothebreath,beingmindfultonoticewhenthebreathislongandwhenit’sshort.Youcanexpandonthisexercisetonoticeothervariationsinyourbreathingaswell:whenit’sheavyorlight,deeporshallow,noticingwhetherit’scomfortableornot.Whenyoucanbesensitivetothesevariationsinthebreath,theBuddhagetsyoutobecomemoreactivelyinvolvedinthebreathingprocess.Youtrainyourselftobeawareofthewholebodyasyoubreathein,awareofthewholebodyasyoubreatheout.Thisrequiressomeskillandpractice,foryouhavetolearnhowtoexpandyoursenseofawarenessandkeepitexpandedthroughoutthebodywithoutatthesametimelosingfocus.

Onewaytoapproachthisistopracticegoingthroughthebodysectionbysection,noticinghowthesensationofbreathingfeelsindifferentpartsofthebody.Howdoesitfeelinyourabdomen?Howdoesitfeelinyourchest?Howdoesitfeelinyourhead?Howdoesitfeelinyourback,inyourshoulders,yourarms,yourlegs?Rememberthatbreathingisawhole-bodyprocess.Wethinkofitprimarilyastheaircominginandoutofthelungs,butthere’sanenergyflowthatgoesthroughouttheentirebodyeachtimeyoubreathein,eachtimeyoubreatheout.It’sbeneficialtobeawareofitinthedifferentpartsofthebodytomakesureit’scomfortableineachpartandthatthedifferentpartsareworkingtogetherandnotatcrosspurposes.

Somakeasurveythroughoutthedifferentpartsofthebodytofamiliarizeyourselfwithhowthebreathingfeels.Thatrightthereisaprojectthatcanoccupyyouforthewholehour.Youcandoitformanydaystogetmoreandmoresensitivetothebreathing.Thinkofitasawayofshowinggoodwillforyourselfandgoodwillforotherpeople—goodwillinthesensethat,asyou’relearninghowtobreathecomfortably,you’relearninghowtocreateasenseofwellbeingthatdoesn’thavetodependonthingsoutside.Itjustfeelsgoodbreathingin,feelsgoodbreathingout.Whenthebreathingfeelsgood,you’regoingtobemuchlessirritable,muchlesslikelytofeeloppressedbythesituationsaroundyou.Soevenwhenthingsgobadlyoutside,youdon’tsensethatthey’reweighingonyou,becauseyou’vegotyourownspacerightherewhereyoucanstillbreathecomfortably.Havingthissafeinnerspaceisanactofkindnessforothersaswell,becausewhenyou’recomingfromacomfortablespothere,acomfortablesensationhereinthebody,you’relesslikelytoactongreed,aversion,delusion,oranyoftheotherwaysofbeingunskillfulwithothers.Thatway,otherpeoplewillsufferlessfromyourdefilements.

ThisisanessentialprinciplethroughouttheBuddha’steachings:thatifyoucareforyourmindreallywell,you’renottheonlypersonwhobenefits.TheimagethattheBuddhagivesisoftwoacrobats.Thestorygoesthatanacrobatoncesaidtohisassistant,“Okay.Yougetuponmyshouldersandwe’llgetontop

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ofthebamboopole.ThenyoulookoutaftermeandI’lllookoutafteryou,andthatwaywe’llcomedownsafely.”Buthisassistantsaid,“No,that’snotgoingtoworkatall.Youlookoutafteryourself,I’lllookoutaftermyself,andthatwaywehelponeanothertocomedownsafely.”

Inotherwords,youlookoutafteryourbalance,becauseyoucan’treallylookoutforotherpeople’sbalance.Thebestwayyoucanhelpthemistolookoutafteryourbalance,andindoingsoyoudon’tknockthemoffbalance.So,inhelpingyourself,you’rehelpingothers.

ThisistrueforalltheBuddha’steachings.Whenyou’regenerous,youhelpyourselfandyouhelpothers.Whenyou’revirtuous,youhelpyourselfandyouhelpothers.Whenyouspreadthoughtsofgoodwill,youhelpyourself,youhelpothers.Whenyoumeditateinotherways,youhelpyourselfandyouhelpothers.Thishelpstoblurthelinebetweenwho’shelpingwhom,orwho’sgoingtobenefitfromyourpractice.You’renottheonlypersonbenefitingwhenyou’remeditating—inthesamewaythat,whenyou’regenerouswithotherpeople,they’renottheonlypeoplebenefiting.You’rebenefitingaswell.

TheBuddhateachesaformofhappinessthatdoesn’thaveboundaries.Andasastepinthatdirection,youneedtotrainyourawarenesstobemoreexpansiveuntilitsboundariesdissolve.Thisiswhatyoustartdoinginthethirdandfourthstepsofthefirstset,whereyoutrainyourselftobeawareofthewholebodyasyoubreathein,thewholebodyasyoubreatheout.Thenyoutrytocalmthebreathing.Thisdoesn’tmeanthatyoustifleitorstopit.Itsimplymeansthatyouallowthebreathenergiestointerconnectandgrowmorecoordinatedsothatbreathnaturallygrowsmoregentle.Inanyplaceswherethebreathfeelsharsh,youthinkofitgettinglighterandmoresoothing.

Onewayyoucandothisistothinkofthebreathenergycominginandoutofthebodythrougheverypore,soitrequireslesseffortonyourparttobreathein,tobreatheout.

That’sthefirstsetoffourstepsinbreathmeditation:beingawareofshortbreathing,longbreathing,trainingyourselftobeawareofthewholebodyasyoubreatheinandbreatheout,andthentrainingyourselftoallowthebreathtogrowcalmasyoubreathein,breatheout,soitfeelsgentleandsoothing.

Thenextfourstepshavetodowithfeelings.Firstyoutrainyourselftobreatheinandoutsensitivetorapture.Thewordraptureherecanalsomeanrefreshment.Askyourself,whatkindofbreathingwouldfeelrefreshingrightnow?Rememberthatfeelingsdon’tsimplycomeandgoontheirown.Themindhelpstofabricatethem—inotherwords,there’sanintentionalelementineveryfeeling.Thewayyoufocusonthebreathcangiverisetofeelingsofrefreshment,ifyoudoitright.So,askyourself,“HowcanIbreatheinawaythatwouldfeel

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refreshing,feelfullthroughoutthebody,fullasIbreathein,fullevenasIbreatheout?”Onceyou’vemasteredthat,thenextstepistobreatheinawaythatfeelseasefulandpleasant.Thedifferencebetweenrefreshmentandpleasureisthatrefreshmentislikecomingacrossaglassofwaterafteryou’vebeenoutinthedesert.It’saveryintense,energeticpleasure—sometimessointenseoroverwhelmingthatit’sactuallyunpleasant.Pleasure,however,iscooler,gentler,moreeaseful.Oncethebreathgivesrisetofeelingsofease,theBuddhatellsyoutobreatheinandoutsensitivetowhathecallsmentalfabrication,toseehowthefeelingsinducedbythebreathhaveaneffectonyourmind,andhowyourperceptionshaveaneffectonthemindaswell.

Perceptionsarelabels—thewordsormentalimagesyouapplytothingstoidentifythemtoyourself,suchasthelabelsyouapplytothebreath.Whatkindofmentalimagedoyouhaveofthebreathing?Ifyouthinkofthebodyasabigbellowsthatyouhavetopumptopullthebreathinandpushthebreathout,that’sgoingtomakethebreathcoarseandtiresome.It’snotgoingtobesoeasefulandsoothingforthemind.Butifyouthinkofthebodyasalargesponge,withlotsofholesthatallowthebreathtocomeinandgoout,justholdingthatperceptioninmindeasesthebreathingprocess.It’salsoamoreeasefulperceptiontoholdinyourmind.Ithasamorecalmingeffectonthemind.

Ifyoufindthatyourbreathingislaborious,youcanthinkofthebreathenergycominginandoutoftheforehead,downfromthetopofthehead,inthroughyoureyes,inthroughyourears,infromthebackoftheneckgoingdownyourback,inatyourthroatgoingdownthroughthechesttotheheart.Justholdthoseimagesinmindandseewhatimpacttheyhaveonthebreathingandonyourmind.

Inthenextstep,theBuddhasaystotrytofindtheperceptionorfeelingthat’smostcalmingtothemind.Ifyoufindthatthespongeperceptionismorecalming,youholdontothat.Ifit’smoreeasefultothinkofthebreathcomingdownfromthetopofthehead,orinandoutofthepalmsofyourhands,thesolesofyourfeet,thenholdthoseperceptionsinmind.Therearelotsofdifferentperceptionsyoucanplaywith.Trytofindtheonesthataremostcalmingforyourighthere,rightnow.

Thosearethefourstepsthatdealwithfeeling.Thenextfourstepsdealwiththemind.Tobeginwith,youjustwanttobe

awareofthestateofyourmindasyoubreathein,thestateofyourmindasyoubreatheout.Asyoudothis,youwanttonoticeifit’sinbalanceoroutofbalance.Ifit’soutofbalance,therearedifferentwaysyoucandealwithit.

Ifthemindisfeelingdepressed,sluggish,orstale,askyourselfhowyoucouldbreathein,howyoucouldbreatheoutinawaythatwouldbegladdeningtothe

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mind.Whatkindofbreathingwouldgiveenergytothemind,giverefreshmenttothemind?Oryoucanbranchoutanduseothertopicsofmeditationtogladdenthemindaswell.ThinkabouttheBuddha,toseeifthatcreatesasenseofgladness.TrythinkingabouttheDhamma,theSangha.Seeifthatgivesasenseofgladness.Thinkaboutthetimesyou’vebeenvirtuousorgenerousinthepast,andseeifthat’sencouraging.Inotherwords,anyDhammatopicthathelpstogladdenthemind:Youcanbringthatinanduseit.Then,whenit’sdoneitswork,gobacktothebreathandtrytomaintainthatsenseofgladness.

Alternatively,ifthemindisfeelingscatteredorrestless,whatkindofbreathingcouldsteadyit?Orwhatothermeditationtopicscouldsteadyit?Hereyoumightfindthatifyou’refeelinglazyanddon’treallywanttomeditate,youcanfocusonthereflectionondeath,oronthosefivereflectionswechantedjustnow:rememberingthatyou’resubjecttoaging,illness,death,andseparation.Theonlythingsyoureallycanholdontoareyouractions.Wheredoyouractionscomefrom?Theycomefromthemind.Andifyourmindisn’ttrained,what’sitgoingtodo?Alotofunskillfulthings.Sothebestwaytoprepareforaging,illness,anddeathistotrainthemind.Thinkingaboutdeathcanhavearivetingeffectonthemind.

YoucantrythecontemplationthattheBuddharecommends:Everymorningatdawn,asyouseethesunrise,remindyourself:Thiscouldbeyourlastsunrise.Areyoureadytogo?TheusualanswerisNo.Well,whynot?Whatchangesneedtobemadeinthemindsothatyouwouldbereadytogo?Afterall,veryfewpeopleknow,atsunrise,thatthisisgoingtobetheirlastday.Youcouldbeoneofthosepeople.Soyoudon’twanttobeheedless;youdon’twanttobecaughtoffguard.Thinkinginthiswayisanencouragementtopractice.Itfocusesthemind.Thenagain,atsunset,theBuddhasaid,remindyourselfthatthiscouldbeyourlastsunset;youmightdietonight.Areyoureadytogo?IftheanswerisNo,you’vegotworktodo.Andyouknowwhatworkyou’vegottodo:Youneedtotrainthemind—attheveryleast,getitmoresteady,moreresilient.Trainittoletgoofallitsfoolishattachments.Thatrequireswork.Youneedtraining.Whenthesethoughtshavefocusedthemind,bringthatfocusbacktothebreath.

Finally,ifthemindisfeelingburdened,figureouthowtoreleaseitfromitsburdens,particularlyifit’sbeingburdenedwithunskillfulthinking.Thesemightbethoughtsofsensualityorthoughtsofanger.Howcanyouletgoofthose?Sometimesyoufocusontheobjectofthethinking,sometimesonthethinkingitself.Iftheobjectisonethatexcitesdesire,lookatthesidethat’snotsodesirable.Thisiswhywehavethecontemplationofthebody.Thebodymaylookprettyonthesurface,butifyoutookofftheskin,youcouldn’tlookatitatall.You’drunaway.Andyetwhyisit,withjustthatlittlefilmofskinwrappingitup,thatweperceiveitasattractive?What’stheminddoingtoitself?What

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gamesisitplayingwithitself,soitfocusesonlyonthethingsthatitperceivesasattractive,andblotsouteverythingelse?

Similarlywithanger:Usually,whenyou’refeelingangryatsomebody,allyoucandoisfocusontheirunattractiveside,theunappealingside,theunpleasantside.Youcanworkyourselfupintoarealfury.Butareyoureallybeingfair?Areyoubeingfairtotheotherperson?Areyoubeingfairtoyourself?Afterall,who’ssufferingfromyouranger?You’recertainlysufferingfromitrightnow.

Soifyoufindthatthemindisbeingburdenedbythingslikethis,youfindwaysofunburdeningit.TheBuddhatakesthisevendeeper,intothesubtlestlevelsofconcentration.Eachlevelhasacertainelementofstressthat’sverysubtle,butit’sthere.Whenthemindgetsfocusedonalevelofconcentration,sitwithitforawhiletogettoknowitreallywell,untilyourecognizewhat’sreallygoingoninthatstateofconcentration.Thiscantakeawhile,becausewhenyoufirsthitanewlevelofconcentration,youoftendon’treallyseethewholething.Youseethatthemindseemslessstressfulthanbefore.Youdon’tseeanystressinthisconcentrationatall.Butyouhavetogetfamiliarwithituntilyoubegintoseethatthereisstillalittlebitofinconstancy,alittlebitofwaveringintheconcentration,ortherearecertainmentalactivitiesthatarealittlebitburdensome—notmuch,butenoughsothatyoucannoticethevariationsinthestress.Whenyounoticetheseactivitiesandcanseethatthey’reunnecessary,thenyoucandropthem.

Thislaststepcombinesbothinsightandtranquility:insightintothetranquility,andtranquilityinresponsetotheinsight.AstheBuddhasays,insightiswhatreleasesthemindfromignorance;tranquilityiswhatreleasesthemindfrompassion.Theyhavetoworktogetherforthereleasefromanyburden—fromthegrosstotherefined—tobecomplete.

That’sthelastofthestepsdealingwiththestateofthemindasawhole.Butitmovesyouintothefinalsetoffoursteps,whichhavetodowithwhattheycalldhammas,ormentalqualities:thecomponentfactorsthatgointoshapingthestateofthemind.

Thefirststepinthisfinalsetislearninghowtolookatinconstancy.Sometimesthisword,anicca,istranslatedasimpermanence,buttheissueisnotsomuchthatthingsareimpermanent,it’sjustthattheykeepchangingunreliably.Ifyouthinkaboutthatmountainoverthere,themountainisimpermanent,butyoucantellyourself,“Atleastit’ssolidenoughforme.Icouldbuildahouseonitandnotworryabouttheoceanwashingitawayinmylifetime.”Butifyouapplytheperceptionofinconstancytothethingsyoudependonforyourhappiness,youseethatifthere’seventheslightestbitofchangeorunreliabilityinthosethings,it’sthreatening.That’swhattheBuddhais

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pointingto.Therearesomanythingsinlifethatwepinourhappinesson,pinourhopeson,butyouhavetolookcarefullyatthemtoseeiftheyreallyaredependable.Theychangerightbeforeyoureyes.Eventhestateofconcentration,whichinthebeginningseemssosolid,afterawhileshowssomewavering.It,too,hasitsupsanddowns.Andsothequestionis,What’scausingthat?Whatistheminddoingthat’screatingthatriseandfallinthelevelofstress?

Thisiswhereyoubegintogetintothefournobletruths.AstheBuddhasaid,eachtruthhasaduty.Thedutywithregardtostressistocomprehendit,whichmeanswatchingitcarefullysoyoucanseeexactlywhatitis—inparticular,toseewhereit’scomingfromandthendevelopdispassion,bothforthestressandforitscause.Thisiswhywatchinginconstancyisanimportantpartofseeingstress,becauseitallowsyoutoseethatthelevelofstresswillgoupandgodown,whichsignalsthatcertainthingsarehappeninginthemindtocauseittogoup,andotherthingsarehappeningtocauseittogodown.Butwhatarethosethings?Feelingsandperceptions.

ThisiswhytheBuddhahasyougetsensitivetomentalfabrication.Whatareyourperceptionsrightnow?Whatarethefeelings?Whataretheperceptionsthatyouapply,say,topleasure,thatyouapplytopain?Andhowdotheyincreaseordecreasethelevelofstressinthemind?Ifyouseethattheycauseanincrease,dropthem,becausethat’sthedutywithregardtothecauseofstress:toabandonit,toletitgo.Youdothisbydevelopingthepath,whichwe’vebeendoingallthewaythrough,withallthesestepsofmeditation,soyoucaninducethesenseofdispassionthatallowsyoutoabandonthecauseofstress.That’swhywelookatinconstancy:togetasenseofdispassionforthethingswe’reattachedto.

Youreallyhavetounderstandwhatattachmentisallabout.You’reattachedtothingsbecausetheygivepleasure,andevenwhenyou’reattached,youcanadmitthatthepleasure’snotconstantandthatittakessomeeffort.Still,itseemsthatyougetatleastenoughpleasuretomaketheeffortworthwhile.ButwhattheBuddhawantsyoutoseeisthatthepleasureisnotworththeeffortatall,thatthedrawbacksofthatparticularpleasurearemuchgreaterthantheactualnourishmentyougetfromit.Afterall,themindtendstodeludeitself.Itseesitspleasuresaswonderful.Itpaintsthemup.Itdressesthemup.Itelaboratesonthemsotheyseemmuchmorewonderfulthantheyactuallyare.TheBuddhawantsyoutoreallylookatthatfact,thatprocessinaction.Whatisthegratificationyougetoutofthatpleasure?Whatarethedrawbacksofthatpleasure?

It’sthroughthiskindofanalysisthatyougaintheinsightallowingyouactuallytoletgoofthings.Ifyousimplyseethingsasempty,aschanginginlinewithconditions,youcandropthemtemporarily,buttheycomebackbecausethere’sstillapartofthemindthatsays,“Well,evenifthey’rechangingwith

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conditions,thepleasureIgetoutofthemisworththeeffortIputintogettingthoseconditionsright.”That’swhatyouhavetolookinto.Whereistheactualpleasurehere?Whereistheeffort?Where’sthepainandstressintheeffort?Dotheygiveyouagooddealorabaddeal?That’swhatitcomesdownto:Whatkindofdealareyougivingyourself?TheBuddhahasyoulookatthisuntilyouseehowyou’vebeenfoolingyourself.Toseethefoolishnessonbothsides—thesidethatlikestodeceiveandthesidethatlikestobedeceived—givesrisetoasenseofdisenchantmentanddispassion.

That’sthenextstep,focusingondispassion,becauseit’sthroughpassionthatwegetinvolvedwiththingstobeginwith.Wegetattachedtothem.Wecreatethesethings.AstheBuddhasaid,ineveryexperienceofform,feeling,perception,fabrication,andconsciousness,there’sanintentionalelement.Athoughtarisesinthemindandyougetinvolved,turningitintoastateofbecoming,alittleworldinwhichyoucandwell.Afeelingarises,andyouelaborateonit.Aperceptionarisesandeitheryougowithitoryoudon’t.Butthere’sachoicebeingmadethere.Sometimesthearisingofthesethingscomesfrompastkamma,butthenit’suptoyoutodecidewhetheryouwanttogowiththemornot.Thatdecisionisyourpresentkamma.

It’slikesomebodydrivingupinacarandsaying,“Okay,jumpin,let’sgo.”Youactuallyhavethechoicetojumpinornotjumpin,andifyou’rewiseyou’regoingtoask,“Whoareyou?Whereareyougoing?What’sgoingtohappenifIjumpin?”That’sifyou’rewise,becauseitturnsoutthatthisisnotgoingtobeafreeride.You’regoingtohavetopayforthegas.Willitbeworthit?Youmayactuallyhavetopedalthecar,ifitturnsouttobeapedalcar.Isitworthit?Andwhereisthedriverplanningtotakeyou?Ishegoingtorobyou,killyou,anddumpyouoffthesideoftheroad?Whenyouseethatit’snotworthit,yourmindgrowscalminthefaceofanytemptationtojumpinthecar.That’sthetranquilitythatfollowsondiscernmentandreleasesyoufrompassion.Dispassioncomesinitsplace,andwhenthedispassioncomes,fabricationsbegintostop—becausewhatkeepsthemgoingisyourpassion.Whenthere’snopassion,fabricationsallcease.Soyouwatchthemceasing,ceasing,ceasing,becauseofdispassion.That’sthethirdstepinthelastsetoffour:focusingoncessation.

Thenthefinalstepofbreathmeditationistostayfocusedonrelinquishmentasyoubreatheinandout.Youletgoofeverything.Eventhepathgetsabandonedatthispointbecauseyoudon’tneeditanymore.It’slikehavingasetoftools.Aslongasyouhavetoworkwiththetools,youtakegoodcareofthem,youlookafterthem.Buttherecomesapointwhenthejobisdoneandyouleteventhetoolsgo.Inotherwords,allyourattachmenteventothepath—theconcentration,thediscernment—getsabandonedatthatpointaswell—each

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timeyoubreathein,eachtimeyoubreatheout.Sothisisthekindofbreathmeditation,theBuddhasays,thatgivesgreat

rewards.Itdevelopsthefourestablishingsofmindfulness;itdevelopsallthesevenfactorsforawakening.You’redevelopingmindfulnessinkeepingthebreathinmind.Asyouanalyzehowyou’redoingthispracticeskillfullyorunskillfully,howyou’refabricatingyoursenseofthebodyandmindinthepresentthroughthebreathandthefeelingsandperceptionsaroundthebreath,thatdevelopstheanalysisofqualitiesasafactorforawakening.Youtrytodoyourbesttofabricatethesethingsinskillfulways,andabandonanyunskillfulfabrications:That’syourpersistence,energy,effortasafactorforawakening.Asyoudothesethingsskillfully,refreshmentandeasearise:Thosearetheraptureandtheserenityfactorsforawakening.Youdevelopconcentrationandtheabilitytowatchwithequanimityallthesethingsasthey’rehappening.Whenyouhaveallthesesevenfactorstogether,they’rethequalitiesyouneedtobringthemindtoawakening.Andthesefactorsareallbeingdevelopedasyoupracticethesesixteensteps.

AstheBuddhasaid,thesefactorsleadtoknowledgeandrelease—theknowledgeofawakening,understandingwhatthemind’sbeendoingthat’sbeencausingstress,howitcanletgoofthecause.Whenyou’vecompletedallthedutieswithregardtothefournobletruths,themindisreleasedandnolongercreatesanyunnecessaryburdensforitself.Ittastesthedeathless.

Sothisiswhatbreathmeditationcando.It’snotjustapreliminaryexercise.It’sapaththatcantakeyoualltheway.Youcanaugmentitwithotherpractices,asI’vesaid.Whenthemindneedsgladdeningorsteadying,whenyoufindthatyou’restuckwithunskillfulmentalqualities,youcanuseothertechniquestoprythemindfreefromthem.Butthebreathiswhereyoualwayscomeback.It’syourhomebecauseit’srighthere,wherethebodyandthemindmeet.It’stheidealplacetowatchbothwhat’sgoingoninthebodyandwhat’sgoingoninthemind.Andit’soneofthefewbodilyfunctionsyoucancontroltogiverisetoasenseofwellbeingthatallowsyoutostaysteadilyrighthere.

Thiswayyoucanbegintoseethingsastheyactuallyare,asthey’reactuallyhappeningandbeingfabricated,toseewhereyourhabitsoffabricationarecausingunnecessarysufferingandstress.Youcometoseethatthestressisactuallyunnecessary.Therearechoicesyou’remakingasyoufabricateyourexperienceoutoftherawmaterialsthatcomefrompastactionsand,throughthepath,youlearnhowtomakethesechoicesmoreandmoreskillfultothepointwherethere’sreallynothingmoretodo.Everythingisatperfectequilibrium.Anyfurtherintention—eithertostaythereortomoveon—wouldjustcausestress.Andyouseethisclearly.Atthatpointthemindletsgo.

Sowhateverothermeditationyoupractice,makesurethatattheveryleast

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you’vegotyourhomebasecovered.AstheBuddhasaid,whenyougetinvolvedinothermeditationtopics,unskillfulstatescansometimesarise,inwhichcaseyoushouldalwayscomebacktothebreath.HecomparedittothebeginningoftherainyseasoninIndia.Duringthehotseasoneverythingisdrywithlotsandlotsofdustintheair.Butwhenthefirstrainscome,theywashallthedustoutoftheairandleavetheairveryclean,clear,andrefreshing.Thesamewaywithbreathmeditation:Whenyoudoitright,itcanclearthemind,refreshthemind,washawayallitsdust.

Sogivetimetothisskillbecauseit’sthemostbasicskillintrainingthemind.It’syourfoundation,andyouwanttomakesurethefoundationisstrong.Ifyoutrytobuildabuildingwithaweakfoundation,it’sgoingtofallover.Nomatterhowbeautifulthebuildingmaybe,it’sgoingtocollapse.Butwhenthefoundationisstrong,youcanbuildasmanystoriesasyoulikeandyoudon’thavetoworryaboutthemfallingdownatall.

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YourMainFoundationNovember21,2011

Whenyoufocusonthebreath,you’vegotallfourframesofreferencerighthere.Thebreathisamanifestationofthebody.Thentherearefeelings.Feelingscaneitherbephysicalormental.Theycomebasicallydowntopleasure,pain,andneitherpleasurenorpain.Thenyou’vegotmindstates,suchasamindthat’simpassioned,amindthat’snotimpassioned,amindthat’saversiveornot.Thisanalysisofmindstatesworksitswayuptomoresubtlethings,likeamindthat’sconcentratedornot,oramindthathasreachedastatebeyondwhichithaseverbeenbeforeornot.Thosedealwithmorerefinedstatesofconcentration.Andthenfinallytherearementalqualities,thingsthatgetinthewayofyourconcentrationlikethehindrances,orthingsthathelpyourconcentration,likethefactorsforawakening.

Oftenit’shardtomakecleardistinctionsamongthesethings,especiallyonthementalside.Forexample,withmentalfeelings:Thefeelingpartofthementalfeelingisthefeelingtone,eitherpleasant,unpleasant,orneutral.Butrarelydowehavefeelingsthataresimplypositive,ornegative,orneutral.Wehavestoriesthatgoalongwiththemandcolortheparticularfeeling.Thosestoriescomefromperceptionandfabricationinthemind,whichgetsyoumoreintotheframeworkofmindstatesormentalqualities.

Also,thelinebetweenmindstatesandmentalqualitiesisveryhardtopindown.Youmightthinkofthemindstateasbeingwhenthewholementalcommitteehasagreedonsomething,whereasthementalqualitiesarethespecificmembersofthecommittee.

Theclearestlineisbetweenbodilyphenomenaandmentalphenomena,andthat’sanimportantdistinctiontofocuson.You’vegotthebreathcominginandgoingout,andthenyou’vegotthemindhere,likinganddisliking,makingupallkindsofstories,andthenreactingtothosestoriesonewayoranother:eitherseeingastoryasreallyfascinatingandwantingtofollowthroughwithit,orrealizingthatit’snotaveryskillfulstoryandlearninghowtoseparateyourselfoutfromit.That’soneofthewaysinwhichthesedifferentwaysofanalyzingmentalphenomenaarehelpful.Whenyoucanseementalphenomenasimplyasmentalphenomena,andnotasaworldthatyou’vegottoenterintooronethatyou’vegottobelieve,thatgivesyouacertainmeasureofsafetyrightthere,a

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certainamountofprotection,theabilitytopullyourselfout.Thisiswherethebodyishelpful.Whenyoucanstaywiththesensationof

thebody,thathelpstopreventyoufromgettingtotallywrappedupinaparticularmindstate.Thinkofthefactthatyou’vegotbreathhere,you’vegotthedifferentelements:earth,water,fire,thatyoufeelassolidity,liquidity,warmth.Ifyoukeeptheseasyourframeofreference,ithelpskeepyoufrombeingsuckedintotheotherframesofreference,orhelpsyouseethemasframesofreferenceratherthangettingsuckedintothemasworlds.

WhentheBuddhatalkedaboutapracticethathelpsdevelopallfourframesofreference,hepointedtobreathmeditation.Witheveryframework,you’realwaysconsciousofthebreath,regardlessofwhetheryou’redealingwithbody,feelings,mindstates,ormentalqualities.Youneverloseyourreferencetothebreath,evenwhenyou’retryingtodevelopthingslikedispassion:Youtrytobreatheinawaythatdevelopsdispassionoryounoticehowyou’rebreathingwhendispassionarises.Younoticehowyou’rebreathingasyou’recontemplatinginconstancy.Youtrytostayanchoredherewiththebody.

Thisiswhysomuchisfocusedhere,becauseifyoudon’thavethisanchor,it’slikebeingpulledintotheclouds,carriedoffbythewinds.Youdon’tknowwhereyou’lleventuallycomedowntoearth.Butwhenyouhavesomethingtoanchoryourselftotheground,youdon’tgetpulledaway.Theremaybesomepull,butyoucanresistit.Youdon’tloseyourbearingsandyouknowwhereyouare.

Soit’simportanttorealizehowmuchyouneedtohaveareallysolidfoundationherewiththebody,andnotbeintoogreatahurrytomoveontosomeotherframeofreference.Evenwhenyou’reawareoffeelingsormindstates,youwanttohaveyourbodyhereasapost.RemembertheimagetheBuddhagaveofthesixdifferenttypesofanimalstiedtogetherbyaleash.Ifthey’renottiedtoapost,thenwhicheveranimalhappenstobestrongestisgoingtodragalltherestoffinthedirectionitwantstogo.Butifthey’retiedtoapost,theycanonlygosofar,anditdoesn’tmatterwhichoneisstrongerthantheothers.They’reallrighthere.

Thenasyou’rerighthere,youcannoticewhatelseisgoingoninsidethemind.It’snotthatwhenyou’reawareofthebreathyou’reawareonlyofthebreathandnotofthemind.Infact,whatusuallyhappensis,asthebreathgetsmoreandmorecalm,moreandmoresubtle,tothepointthatitstops,youseetheactivityofthemindmoreandmoreclearly.Whenthebreathstops,it’snotbecauseyou’reholdingthebreathbutsimplybecausetheactivityofthemindissocalmthatyou’renotinneedofalotofoxygen,you’renotusingupalotofoxygen,you’renotcreatingalotofcarbondioxideinthebloodstream.Sothere’snotthatmuchneedforyourinandoutbreathing.Simplymaintaininga

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perceptionofthebreathchannelsinthebodyallbeingopenandallconnectedwithoneanotherisenoughtokeepyougoing.Whenthebreathisthatstill,thentheeventsofthemindbecomemoreandmoreprominent,andyoucanwatchthemfromthatstillness.Thestillnesscanbeyourfoundation.

Atthatpointyoucanworkwiththeotherelements.AjaanFuangusedtotellhisstudents—oncetheyreachedthestageinthemeditationwherethebreathgotreallycalmandstill—tofocusfirstonthewarmthinthebody.What’sthewarmestspotinthebodyrightnow?Focusthere,andthinkofthewarmthspreadingoutfromthatspot.Thenyoucandothesamethingwiththewaterproperty,whichheidentifiedasthefeelingsofcoolness.Wheredoyoufeelcoolestrightnow?Canyoubalancethetwo?It’slikeplayingwiththedialsonanewstereo.Youturnupthevolume,turnitdown,playwiththebalance,untilyougetsomethingthatfeelsjustright.Thenyoudothesame,balancingthebreathenergywiththesenseofearth.Sometimesifyougetreallyintotheearthelement,everythinggetsreallyheavy,anditcangetreallyunpleasant,soyouwanttobalanceitoutabit.

Whatyou’relearningabouthereisthepowerofperception,thelabelsyouplaceonthings,andhowperceptioncanhaveahugeimpactonyourfeelingtone.Sorightthereyou’replayingwithfeelingsandmindstates.Atthesametime,you’regainingasenseofwhat’sskillfulandnot,whichequateswithanalysisofqualities,oneofthefactorsforawakening.Soyou’vegotdhammas,ormentalqualities,theretoo.It’shardtomeditatewithoutgettingeverythingengagedlikethis.Butwhenthebreathisreallystill—thisisoneofthereasonsweworkwithitsoassiduously—whenthebreathisverystill,thenwecanseethingsveryclearly,whatexactlyisgoingoninthemind,andwecansortoutallofthedifferentwaysthatweglomthingstogetherandturnthemintohugebigstickyformsofsuffering.

Thisiswhy,whenoneofAjaanFuang’sstudentscomplainedthatherpracticewasn’tmakingallthefastprogressthatshewanted,hesaid,“Look,workonyourfoundation.Makeitgoodandstrong.Don’tworryabouttheinsights,don’tworryaboutalltheotherthingsthatyouthinkliedownthepath,becausewhenthefoundationisgood,that’swhentheotherthingsarepossible.”Ifthefoundationisn’tgood,theneverythingelseisunstable,shaky.Youcanthinkaboutthesethings,youcanplaywiththemabit,butthentheyallstarttofallapart.

Butifyourfoundationisgood,asyoustayherewithyourbreath,thenyouhaveafoundationforunderstanding:WhentheBuddhatalksaboutform,feeling,perception,fabrications,orconsciousness,whatishetalkingabout?Youcanseethesethingsinaction.Orfeelings,mindstates,andmentalqualities:Youcanseetheminactionbecauseyou’veworkedthroughalltheinterferencethat

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thebreathwascreating.Bystayingherewiththebreathandmakingitreallystill,you’velearnedhowtoparethingsdown.Youhavehands-onexperiencewiththesedifferentframesofreference,orthedifferentaggregates.

Thismeansthatconcentrationisnotsomethingjusttosteponandthenimmediatelyjumpoffandgosomeplaceelseinsearchofinsight.Youwanttostayhere.Thisisyourfoundation.Everythingelsewillhavetostandonthisfoundation.Sodon’tletyourselfdoaslipshodjobhere.Becareful,bemeticulous,becauseit’snotjustasteponwhichyouplaceyourfootforabitandthenjumpoff.Thisiswhereyou’regoingtostay.Thisisyourhome,yourvihara-dhamma.Makesuretobuilditsothatit’lllast.

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ThreeStagesinthePracticeMay26,2010

Therearetwosidestothepractice:thesideoflettinggoandthesideofdeveloping.Wehearalotaboutthelettinggoandtherearemanythingswedohavetoletgoof.Asyou’resittingherefocusingonthebreath,lotsofotherthingswillcomeintothemindandyoujusthavetosayno,no,no,no,no.TrytohavethediscernmentthattheBuddhacomparestoawell-plasteredfortresswall.Theenemytriestoclimbupthewallbutcan’tbecausetheplaster’ssosmooth.Youdon’twanttoleaveanytoeholdsorhandholdsforanythingtocomeintothemindrightnow—whichmeansthatassoonasyouseethemindlatchingontosomethingasidefromthebreath,youwanttocutitoff.

TheBuddhaalsocomparesdiscernmenttoaknife.Assoonasyouseethatsomething’scatchingatoehold,youtrytocutitrightthroughthetoes.Ifyoucanletitgothatquicklywithoutmuchmoreado,thenfine.Atothertimes,though,youactuallyhavetolookintoit.Whyisthemindattractedtothatkindofthinking?Whatpleasuredoesitgetoutofit?Whatgratification?Thenlookatthedrawbacks.AstheBuddhasaid,ifyouweretositthereandthinkaboutthatkindofthinkingforalongperiodoftime,wherewoulditleadthemind?Toaplaceyouwanttogoortosomeplaceyou’drathernotgo?

Remember,yourthoughtsarenotjustlittlebubblesthatappear,gopopaboveyourhead,andthendisappearwithouttrace.Theyleadtohabits;theyleadtoactions;theyhavetheirconsequences.That’sonethingtocontemplate:Whataretheconsequencesofthiskindofthinking?Whereisitgoingtolead?Sometimesalittletinythoughtplantsalittleseedinthemindandthentheseedbeginstosproutandsendoutroots.Eventhoughthemindmayseemtohaveanicewell-plasteredwall,theseedwillfindacrack,likethosebanyanseedsthatfindacrack,sendoutroots,andcantakedownbuildings.Thoselittletinyseedscandestroywhateverskillfulqualitiesyou’retryingtodevelop.Sotheabilitytoletgo,toabandon,tocutaway,isanimportantpartofthemeditation.

Ontheotherside,there’stheneedforestablishing,ofgivingrisetoskillfulqualitiesinthemind.Intermsofrighteffort,thereareactuallythreelevelstodevelopingskillfulqualities.Oneisjustgivingrisetothem.Likefocusingonthebreath:That’sthebeginningofconcentration.Focusingonthebodyinandofitself:That’sthebeginningofmindfulness,thebeginningofconcentration.If

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youfindthatyou’vebeenawayfromthebreath,justcomebackandre-establishyourmindfulness.That’sthebeginning,theestablishing,thegiving-rise-to.

Thenfromthenextsecondon,it’samatterofdeveloping:inotherwords,maintainingand,intheBuddha’swords,bringingtoculmination.You’vedoneonebreath,sonowyoudotwo,nowthree,nowfour.Justkeepatit.Five,six,seven.Seehowmanybreathsyoucanstaywithinonecontinuouslongtrackingshot.We’renotheretomakeamoviewithlotsofquickcutsandjumpingaround.Wewanttoseewhatworldrecordwecansetforlong-trackmeditation.Howlongyoucanstaywiththebreathwithoutgettingdistracted?

Obviously,themaintainingandthelettinggoaregoingtohavetoworktogether.Assoonasyouseethatanythinghastheslightestinclinationtoexertapullonthemind,you’vegottodropit.Onewayofworkingagainstthatpullistotrytomakethebreathasinterestingaspossible.Noticewhenyoubreathein:Wheredoyoufeelit?Wheredoesthesensationofanin-breathstartforyou?Itmaystartinaplacethatitdoesn’tstartforsomebodyelse.Howdoyouknowthatyourbodyneedsanin-breathrightnow?Howcanyoutellwhenyou’vebeenbreathingouttoolong?Aspeoplegetoldertheyhaveatendency—AjaanLeenoticedit—tostartbreathingouttoolong.They’resqueezingouttheirenergy.

Ifyoufindthathappening,trytoshortenyourout-breaths.Learntobecomemoreandmoresensitivetohowyoucanreadtheneedsofthebodyandcompensateforanybadhabitsyoumayhavepickedupinthewayyoubreathe.

Thebreath,whenit’shandledproperly,ismedicine.Itcangiveyouenergywhenyouneedenergy;itcancalmyoudownwhenyouneedcalmingdown.Itcanhelpyoudealwithpainindifferentpartsofthebody,aswhenyoulearntobreathearoundthepainorthroughthepainsoyoudon’tfeelsothreatenedbythepain.

Asyou’redoingthis,yourmeditationbecomesamatterofmaintaininganddevelopingtogether.Theconcentrationdeepens.Itgetsmorefirmlyestablishedandbeginstoshowsomeofitsrewards.There’sasenseofease.Asenseofrefreshment.Justthefactthatyouhaven’tbeenworryingaboutotherthingsforfiveminutesisagoodsignrightthere.That’sahealthythingforthemind.Andoftenweoverlookthat.

That’swhattheBuddhacallsthepleasurethatcomesfromseclusion:simplythatyou’renotgoingafterunskillfulthoughts;youkeepthemindsecludedfromtheirinfluence.Thatbringsacertainamountofeasetothemind.

There’sapassageintheCanonwheretheBuddhatalksaboutdevaswhoarecorruptedbyplayandcorruptedinmind.Theyspendalltheirtimegazingwithlustandenvyatoneanother.Itwearsthemoutphysicallyandmentally,andsotheyfall.Butyoudon’thavetogotothedevarealmtoexperiencetheimpactof

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lustandenvy.Evenhereonthehumanlevel,alotofunskillfulthinkingdoesjustthat:Itwearsyouout.Sothesimplefactthatyou’renotthinkingaboutanythingsensual,notpayingattentiontoanythingsensual:Thatallowsforalevelofpleasureandenergythatyoushouldlearnhowtoappreciate.

Thentrytomaintainit.Allowittodeepen.Allowittoseepintothedifferentpartsofyourbody.Thisiswhererapturebeginstoappearasthesenseoffullness,moreandmoreapparentinthedifferentpartsofthebodythatarenotbeingrunoverbythemovingbreathenergy.They’reallowedtomaintaintheirfullnessasyoubreathein,asyoubreatheout.

ThisiswhattheBuddhacallsthedevelopingoftheestablishingofmindfulness.Thereareactuallythreestagesasyouestablishmindfulness.Oneisjustthat:gettingitestablished,givingyourselfaframeofreference.Andthen,astheBuddhasays,youdevelopitbylearninghowtounderstandtheprincipleofcauseandeffect,howthingsareoriginatedandhowtheypassaway.

Notice,hesays“origination”here.Hedoesn’tsayjust“arising.”Thewordissamudaya,origination.You’retryingtoseehowcausesacttooriginateeffects.Theonlywayyoucanknowtheconnectionofacausetoaneffectisbyexperimenting.Trydifferentwaysofbreathing,seehowyoucangiverisetoasenseofease,asenseofpleasure,howyoucangetridofanysenseofstrainordiscomfort.Asyoudothat,yourconcentrationgetsmoreandmoreestablished;yourmindfulnessgetsmoreandmoreestablished.Thesetwoqualitiesgotogether.

Sometimesyouhearthatmindfulnessandconcentrationaretwototallyantitheticalqualities:thatmindfulnessisabroad,open,acceptanceofthings,whereasconcentrationisanarrowfocus,exclusiveofallelse.Ifthatwerethecase,youcouldn’tpracticemindfulnessandconcentrationtogether.Butthat’snothowtheBuddhadescribedmindfulnessandconcentration.Thetwoqualitiesgotogether.Mindfulnessgetsfullypurifiedonlyinthefourthjhana.Andtheestablishingsofmindfulnessarethethemesofconcentration.Sothey’remeanttogotogether.They’rebothmeanttobesettledandbroad.AlloftheanalogiestheBuddhausesforconcentration—waterbeingkneadedthroughaballofdough;acoolfountofwaterwellingupintoalake,fillingthelakewithcoolwater;lotusesgrowinginwater,saturatedwithwaterfromtheirrootstotheirtips;apersonsittingwithawhiteclothcoveringhisentirebody—alloftheseanalogiesindicatealarge,expansivestateofmind.Itfillsthebodybutit’ssettledandsecure.

Thatkindofconcentration,infact,tendstobemorefirmthantheconcentrationthat’sfocusedonasinglepointbecauseifyou’reonasinglepoint,thenassoonasyoumoveevenslightlyfromthatpoint,yourconcentration’sgone.Butifthethemeofyourconcentrationisthisfull-bodyawareness,thenthingscancomeandgowithinthatrangeofawarenessandtheydon’tknockyou

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offyourfoundation.Sorightnowwe’reinthedevelopingstage.Intermsofmindfulness,we’re

learningtheprincipleofcauseandeffect:howonethinggivesrisetosomethingelseandhow,whenthecausepassesaway,theeffectpassesawayaswell.Intermsofconcentration,we’relearningmasteryovertheconcentration,deepeningitaswegothroughmoreandmorerefinedstatesofconcentration—whenthepleasure’snotjustthepleasureofnotthinkingaboutunskillfulthingsorbeingsecludedfromthem,butactuallythepleasureofbeingmoreandmorefocused,confident,andassuredaboutwhatwe’redoing.Themindgainsgreaterfocus,steadierfocus.Andsoonthroughthedifferentlevelsofconcentration.

Butindealingwithskillfulqualities,it’snotjustamatterofgivingrisetothemandthenmaintaininganddevelopingthem.Therecomesapointwherethey’refullydevelopedandyouhavetoletthemgoaswell.Intermsofthepracticeofmindfulness,there’sthepointwhereyoucansimplytakenoteofthefactyou’vegotthebodyhere,you’vegotfeelingshere,orwhateveryourframeofreferenceisatthatpoint.Andthat’sit.You’renotdoinganythingelseatthatstagebecauseyou’vedevelopedeverythingtoitsculmination.

Intermsofconcentration,theBuddhadescribesthisasfullymasteringconcentrationthesamewayanarcherwouldmasterarchery.Youcanfirerapidshotsinquicksuccession,piercegreatmasses,andshootgreatdistances.Inthesameway,youlearnhowtodevelopyourconcentrationandhowtosettleintoit,gainthepleasureandthesenseofnourishmentitcanprovide.Youlearnhowtodevelopitinallsituationssothatit’snotjustamatterofsittingherewithyoureyesclosed.Youcanhaveasenseofbeingcenteredasyouwalk,asyoutalkwithotherpeople,asyoudealwithotherchoresthroughouttheday.

Ultimately,youlearnhowtodevelopdispassionforyourconcentrationbyseeingthatit,too,ismadeoutoftheaggregates,andthoseaggregatesareinconstant,stressful,andnot-self.Therearesubtlevacillationsinthepleasure,subtlevacillationsinthesenseofclarityofyourconcentration,andyourealizethatthosevariationsshowtheelementofinconstancyandstress.Thenyouaskyourself:Isthiswhatyoureallywantinlife—asenseofease,asenseofwellbeingthat’sstillsubjecttoconditions?Nomatterhownourishingitmaybe,it’sstillnottheultimate.

Atthatpointyouturnthemindtohowgooditwouldbetofindahappinessthat’sdeathless.Andthenyoustayrightthere.Justawareofwhat’sthere.Thisisthethirdstageofthepractice:non-fashioning.You’renolongerdevelopinganythingandyouronlytaskatthatpointis,withwhatevercomesup,justletitgo,letitgo.Eventheconcentrationandtheactivitiesofmindfulnessgetletgoofaswell.

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TherewasadevawhoonceaskedtheBuddha,“Howdidyougetacrosstheriver?”AndtheBuddhareplied,“Byneitherpushingforwardnorbystayinginplace.”Paradox.There’snointentiontostaywhereyouare,andnointentiontomovetoanythinganywhereelse.Athirdalternativeappears.That’sthefinallevelinhowyoudealwithskillfulqualities.You’llfindthisoutasyougetthere.Butuntilyougetthere,theBuddhaallowsyoutoleaveitasaparadox—becauseforthemostpartwe’reinmuchtoogreatahurrytogettherewithouthavingdonethework.

Theworkisinthemaintainingandthedeveloping.Whatevergetsintheway,youletitgo,buttheskillfulqualitiesarethingsyouwanttodeepenanddevelopuntilyoucometothepointwhereyoudon’thavetoworkatthemanymore.You’vecompletedthedutywiththatparticularquality,you’vedevelopeditasfarasitcango.

It’sonlythenthatthereallycoolstuffcomes.Whichisnottosaythatthere’snotsomefairlycoolstuffalongtheway.Havingasenseofrefreshmentthatyoucantapintowheneveryouneedit:That’snottobesneezedat.Butitissomethingyouhavetoworkatanddevelop.It’snotjustamatterofwatchingthingscomeandwatchingthingsgo:“That’sokay,theregoesconcentration,I’mnotattachedtoit.”Wehaven’tgivenitanyopportunitytoshowitspotential.TheBuddhawantsyoutogetattachedtoit,todevoteyourselftodevelopingit.Howelseareyougoingtogetfree?Ifyou’renotattachedtoconcentration,allthelittlesuckersofthemind,likethesuckersonanoctopus’slegs,willstretchoutandholdontoallkindsofotherthings.Concentrationiswhatallowsyoutodevelopafoundation,asafeplacetoattachyoursuckersandfromwhichyoucanlookatallyourotherattachmentsandcutthemloose,cutthemloose.

Thepleasuresthatyouusedtogetoutofsensuality:Youbegintoseetheirdrawbacks,andtherealizationofthedrawbacksisnotthreateningordisorientingbecauseyou’vegotabetterplacetokeepthemind.AsAjaanLeeoncesaid,youcan’tmakethemindzerountilyou’vemadeitone.You’vegottomakeitoneintheconcentration:firmlyestablishedinmindfulness,veryclearaboutwhat’sgoingon,notshakenbyanythingthatarisesorpassesaway—sothatwhenthingsdoariseandpassaway,youcanseerightthroughthem.You’vedevelopedthatlayerofplasteronthewallsothatnothingcangetatoeholdanymore.

Thewholepointofthisistogetyoureallyattachedtoonethingandthen,whenyouletgoofthatfinalattachment,there’snootherplacethemindcanlatchonto.TheBuddhaisintentionallytryingtogetyoucorneredhereinconcentration,sothatwhenyoufinallydoletgoofthat,themind’snotgoingtofallbacktoitsoldways.Thecorner’sgoingtoopenupintofreedom.

Sothegruntworkofmeditation,justlettinggoofdistractionsandbringing

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themindbackandtryingtostickwithit:Thisisimportantworkwe’redoinghere.It’sgoodtoknowthatultimatelytherewillcomeapointwhereyoudon’thavetokeeponworking—butyoualsohavetorealizethatyou’renotgoingtogettherewithoutdoingthegruntwork.

Whentheytalkaboutthepathandthegoalbeingthesame,themostfruitfulwayofunderstandingthatistorealizethatyou’renotsittinghereinacargoingdownthepathandlookingaheadtoseewhenthegoal’sgoingtoshowup.You’llseethegoalbylookingcarefullyatthepathyou’refollowing,whereyouarerightnow,eachstepalongtheway.Sopayallyourattentionrighthere,towhatyouhavetobedoingrighthere.That’swherealltheimportantandvaluablethingswillappear.

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AcceptingtheBuddha’sStandardsFebruary10,2010

Whenyoucometothemeditation,youshouldcomewithanattitudeofrespectbecauseyou’redoingsomethingimportanthere.You’retryingtomasteranecessaryskill,askillwithstandardsthattheBuddhasetveryhigh.Youwanttohaverespectforthatfact.

Peopletalkalotaboutdevelopingacceptanceinthepractice,butthemainthingyouhavetoacceptisthatyou’reconstantlyactingonintentions.Thewayyouexperiencethingsisshapedbyyourintentions.Andthoseintentionscanbeskillfulornot.Youhavetoacceptthefactthatyou’vebeendevelopingalotofunskillfulhabitsofintentionovertime,andit’sveryeasytojustifythoseunskillfulhabitstoyourself.

Ourcultureprovideslotsofjustificationsforthem.AsAjaanMunoncesaid,thesocietyofordinarypeopleisacultureofdefilement:greed,anger,anddelusionalongwiththeirjustifications.Peoplesay,“Ifwedidn’thavegreed,societywouldn’tdevelop.Theeconomywouldcollapse.Ifwedidn’thaveanger,wecouldn’tbringaboutjustice.Wecouldn’tstandupforourrights.”Andeventhoughthere’snoconsciousdefenseofdelusion,peopleareconstantlydefendingtheideathatweneedalittlebitofalcoholor,say,alittlebitofplayingaround,soastogetawayfromourmiseries,awayfromoursuffering.

There’salotofdenialgoingon.Peoplelearntolivewithdenialasanordinarypartofeverydaylife.Thefactthatwe’regrowingill,aging,thatwe’reallgoingtodie:Societyisinhugedenialaroundthis.Wetendtopickupthesehabitsfromourupbringing,fromthemedia,fromeverythingaroundus.Sowhenwesitdowntomeditate,allofasuddenwefindourselvesface-to-facewithgreed,aversion,anddelusion.Partofuslikestodefendthesethings,sayingthatthey’reokay,thatwehavetoacceptthemasanecessarypartoflife.Butskillfulacceptancemeansacceptingthefactthatyou’recreatingsufferingforyourselfandotherpeoplewhenyougiveintothesetraits.Soyouhavetobeverycareful,veryalert,veryvigilantasyoupractice.

ThisiswhytheBuddha’slastwordsweretobringaboutcompletionthroughheedfulness.“Completion”heremeansdevelopingthefactorsofthepathtotheirfullpower.“Heedful”meansthatwehavetobealerttothedangersthatcomewhenourpracticeisnotyetcomplete.Sowe’renotjustplayingaroundhere.

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We’redoingsomethingserious—butnotgrim.Oneofthethingsyounoticeaboutthegreatajaanswhenyoumeetthemisthattheyallhaveagoodsenseofhumor.Afterall,oneofthebestwaysofdealingwithyourdefilementsislearninghowtolaughatthem—andtolaughatyourselfwhenyou’renotuptostandard.

Andtherearestandards.Youwantthemindtostaywiththebreath.Youwanttoevaluateandadjustthebreath,keepyourattentionfocusedonthebreathuntilitgivesrisetoasenseofeaseandfullness.Onlywhenthemindissettledlikethisisitgoingtoseeanythingclearly.

YesterdayIreadsomebodycomplainingthattheyhadseenapassagewheresomeonehadsaidthatjhanaisnecessaryforawakening,andhesaid,“No,thatcan’tbethecase.Myteachersaysyouseeyourdefilementsmostclearlywhenthey’rereallystrong:stronglust,stronganger.That’swhenyou’regoingtogainawakening.”That’swhathesaid,butwhereareyouinrelationtothatanger,whereareyouinrelationtothatlustwhenyou’veallowedthesethingstogrowstrong?Whentheystirupthemind,youcan’tseethingsclearly.Therehastobeatleastpartofthemindthat’sstandingverystillandwatchingwhateverishappening,nottheleastbitstirredbythosethings.Otherwiseyoujustslipalongwiththem,acceptingthisasthenormalwayofthemind.Butitdoesn’thavetobethatway.Partofthepracticeislearningthatthemindatnormalcyisnotaffectedbythosethings.It’samindthat’sbeentrainedinlinewiththeBuddha’sstandards.

Thosestandardsaresetoutinthefactorsofthepath,andyouwanttohaverespectforthatfact.We’renotherejusttomeditateasweplease.Wehavetocheckourselvestoseeifthere’sanythingwe’redoingthat’scausingstress,anythingcausingharmtoourselvesortopeoplearoundus.Youwanttocheckforthat.Asyoulearnthroughobservingthepreceptstocauselessandlessharm,yourfocusmovestomoresubtlelevelsofstressinthemind,learninghowtodropwhateveritisthatyou’redoingtocausethem,untilfinallyyoucometothesubtlestdisturbances,causedbytheconcentrationitself.Ineachcase,youwanttoaccept,one,thatthestressisactuallyhappening,and,two,thatit’scomingfromsomethingyou’redoing:aperceptionyou’reholdingonto,anattitudeyou’reidentifyingwith.That’swhatyouhavetolearnhowtoaccept.

Thisrequireshavingamatureattitudetowardyourownweakpoints,amatureattitudetowardtheareaswhereyou’restilllacking.Beingmaturemeanslearning,ontheonehand,nottobeatyourselfupoverthesethings,butontheotherhand,learninghownottojustsay,“That’sokay.Itdoesn’treallymatter.”Matureacceptancemeansacceptingresponsibilityandacceptingthatthesehabitsaredeeplywornrutsinthemind.It’sgoingtotaketimetolearntoovercomethem,butyoudowanttoovercomethem.

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Becauseit’salsogoodtoacceptthefactthatthereissomethingbetterinlife.Afterall,thefournobletruthsdon’tpointjusttosufferingandthecauseofsuffering.Theyalsopointtothepathandtothecessationofsuffering.Thosethingscanbeapartoflife,too.

Now,alotofpeoplewouldn’twanttobebothered,butagain,that’stheirchoice,andweshouldbeallowedours.AjaanFuangtalksaboutthedevasthatgetbotheredbyourpractice,afraidthatwe’llgopastthem.Butit’snotjustdevas.Therearehumanbeingsouttherewhodon’tliketheideathattherereallyisadeathless,andthatitreallyisattainablethroughhumaneffort.Theydon’tliketothinkaboutthechallengethatposes.Theyprefertothinkthatit’snotreallytrue,andtheBuddhawassimplyteachingushowtoacceptthingsastheyareandbeperfectlyokaywiththem.Becauseotherwise,there’sapathtofollowandthere’seffortthathastobeputforth.Youhavetobedisciplined.Alotofpeopledon’tliketohearthis.Theydon’twanttoacceptthat.Theirideaofacceptanceisverylazyandnarrow.

Butifyoucanacceptthefactthattherereallyisadeathless—thatthere’sadimensionfreeofsuffering,adimensionoutsideofspaceandtime,anditcanbereached,itcanbetouchedthroughhumaneffort—that’slearninghowtoacceptyourpotential.Youwanttolearnhowtoacceptthedemandsofyourpotential.Nobody’sforcingyoutodothis,butifyouwanttomakethemostofyourpotential,thisiswhatyou’vegottodo.AlloftheBuddha’s“shoulds”areconditional.Heneverforcedanybodytodoanything.Buthesaidifyouwanttoattainastateofpeace,thisiswhatyoushoulddo.Thisiswhatyouhavetodo.It’srequiredbytheprincipleofcauseandeffect.

Sohaverespectforthisfact.Haverespectforyourownpotential,respectforyourdesirefortruehappiness,andacceptthefactthat,Yes,itisalongpath.Thepeopleforwhomthepathisshorthavealreadygonetotheendofthepath.YoureadthestoriesaboutallthepeopletheBuddhataughtinhistime.Itwasasifhewaspickingtheflowersinafieldfullofflowers,selectingjustthosethatwerereadytobloom,andleavingtherestbehindtobloomlater.We’rethelatebloomers.Whoknowswherewewereatthetime,hidingoutunderarocksomeplace.Youmightsayhepickedallthefruitthatwasalreadyripe,andnowwe’regraduallyripeningourselves.

Soitmaytaketime,itmaytakeeffort,dedication,discipline:allthosevirtuesthattendtogetshortshriftinoursociety.Butwe’renothereasconsumers,whichisapparentlywhatoursocietywouldlikeustobe.We’reheretomakesomethingofourpotentialtofindtruehappiness,notthehappinesstheywantustobuy.Wehavetodisciplineourselvesbecausethat’swhat’srequired,tohaverespectforthatfactandacceptwhatevercomesalongaspartofthetraining.Whateverthetrainingrequires,trytobeupforit.

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Thisistherighteffortthatreallyconstitutesthemiddleway:inotherwords,appropriateeffort,appropriateforwhatevertheoccasion,whateverthedefilementcomingupinthepresent,andwhateveryourstateofmind.Sometimesthisrequiresverydelicatework,veryrefined,veryeasy.Sometimesit’shardandtakesalotofeffort.Youhavetositthroughagoodamountofpainandstruggleoversomeofyourdefilements.Thestrugglecomesfromthefactthatthedefilementsaren’tallobviouslybad.Theyhavetheirappealingside.Theyhavetheirhooks.They’resticky,likeVelcro.Sothere’sgoingtobeastruggle,back-and-forth.Learnhowtoacceptthataswell.

Becausewhenyoudoit,ultimatelyyougettothepointwheretheminddoesn’tneedacceptanceorrejection.That’soneofthequalitiesinarahants.Anarahant’smindisbeyondacceptance,beyondrejection.Buttogetthere,youhavetolearnhowtodistinguishwhatreallyneedstobeaccepted,whatreallyneedstoberejected,andbringtheproperamountofrespectsothatyoudoitright.Bringyourpracticeuptostandard.Don’ttrytopulltheBuddha’sstandardsdowntoyourlevel.Trytopullyourselfuptohis.

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LoveMe,LoveMyDefilementsMay3,2010

Aconceptthatmanymodernpeoplefindveryhardtoacceptisthattheirmindshavedefilements.Theythinkthattheirmindsareperfectlyfine,withnothingdirtyordefilinginthem.Peoplecanbeespeciallysensitiveaboutthisissuebecausetheygrewupwiththeideaoforiginalsin,thattheyweresomehowinherentlybadthroughnofaultoftheirown,andnowthey’veheardthatBuddhismteachesthatwe’reinherentlygood,thatweallhaveBuddhanature.ThisiswhytheycometoBuddhism,sotheydon’twanttohearaboutdefilement.TheywanttohearabouttheirinherentlypureBuddhanature.

Well,one,eventhoughtherearetypesofBuddhismthatteachaboutBuddhanature,theBuddhahimselfneversaidanythingaboutit.Infact,henevertalkedabouttheinnatenatureofthemindatall.Andtwo,thefactthatthemindhasdefilementsdoesn’tmeanthatwe’renecessarilygoodorbadoranything.It’sjustarecognitionthatsomestatesofmindobscureourawareness.Theyobscuretheclarity,thebrightnessthatcanbefoundinthemind.

Theproblemisthatwetendtoidentifywithalotofthem.Weidentifyourselveswithourgreed,ouraversion,ourdelusions.Weidentifywithourdefilements,butwedon’tliketorecognizethemassuch.Wespeakoftheminotherways.“Thisismyidentity,”wesay.“Thisismyinnernature,mybackground;thisisthewayI’vebeenbroughtup;thisishowI’velearnedhowtofunctionintheworld.”Thesearetheattitudespeoplehave.There’sapassageinoneofAjaanMahaBoowa’sDhammatalkswherehe’ssayingtothemonks,“SupposetheBuddhawereabletoseeyourdefilements.Don’tyouthinkhe’dbedisgusted?”I’veheardpeoplereacttothat,sayingthattheBuddhawouldn’tbedisgustedwithus.TheBuddhawouldloveus;hewouldbecompassionatetowardus.Tosaythatisreallytodefineyourselfveryintenselywithyourdefilements.Ourattitudeis,“Loveme,lovemydefilements.”

Butit’sbecausetheBuddhahascompassionforusthathepointsoutthatthemindhasdefilementsandthattheycanberemoved.That’stheimportantpoint:Thefactthatthere’sadefilementdoesn’tmeanthere’sapermanentstainonthemind.It’snotlikegrapejuiceorbloodstainsyoucan’twashout.Butalwaysrecognizethatthesethingsdocausesuffering,andtheycertainlydoobscurethemind.Ifwewantrealpeaceandhappiness,wereallyhavetoletthemgo.

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It’susefultoseethesethingsnotasthingsinthemindbutasactions,ashabits.Greedisanhabitualaction.Soisanger;soisdelusion.Thesearethewayswedealwiththeworld,reacttotheworld,shapetheworld.Andwe’vegottensomeresultsthroughthem,whichiswhywetendtoholdontothem,tokeepfallingbackonthem.Thesearepartofourrepertoireoftools.Butthey’reprettyshoddytoolsandtheydoaverycrudeandclumsyjob.

Imean,youreadabouthumanhistoryandyouseeineachgenerationthatthereweresomanygoodthingsthatcouldhavebeendonethatweren’tdonebecauseofpeople’sgreed,anger,anddelusion.It’samazingthatthehumanracehasgottenasfarasithas.Somepeoplethinkthatit’sbecauseofgreedthatwehaveprogress.Butyouseewhathappenswhengreedgetsunbridled.Theeconomyturnsintoahugecasino,andthethingsthatcouldbedonewiththewealthofthecountryjustgetfritteredaway.

Thesamewithanger.Thinkofallthemoneythat’sspentforarmies,munitions;alltheintelligencedevotedtocreatingweaponstokillinsteadofbeingdevotedtosolvethegenuineproblemsinlife.It’sallawaste.Again,it’samazingthatthehumanracehasgottenasfarasithas.

Delusionisevenworse.Itpreventsusfromseeingtheharmcausedbythesequalitiesinthemind.Acaseinpointiswhenwelookbackatourupbringing.WecometoBuddhismfromothertraditions—Hinduism,Christianity,Judaism—andalotofattitudesgetburieddeepinthemindfromthesetraditions.Orwemaybecomingfromamodern,Western,scientificattitude,amaterialistattitude.AndsomethingdeepdowninsideusinsiststhatBuddhismbenditselfinordertomeetwhatwethinkisrightorwrong.Orwefeelthatwe’reabandoningouridentity,we’reabandoningourbackground,ourfamily,ifweadoptBuddhistbeliefs.

Allofthatisthinkingofouridentityasathingthatcan’treallybechanged.AndthisispreciselywheretheBuddhasaysNo.Youridentityismadeupofclinging-aggregates.Theclingingitselfisanaction.Theaggregatesareactions.Eachoftheaggregatesisdefinedbyanactivity.Formde-forms—inotherwordsitkeepschanging.Feelingsfeel,perceptionsperceive,fabricationsfabricatetheotheraggregatesintoactualaggregates,andconsciousnesscognizes.Thesethingsaredefinedbytheiractivity.Andtheseactivitiesaretherawmaterialsfromwhichwecreateoursenseofself.

Inourdelusionwetendtothinkof“self”asathingwe’restuckwith,eitherformetaphysicalreasonsorforsocialreasons.Butthat’snotthecase.Selfingissomethingwedo.Wepickuphabitsfromourenvironment.Wepickupideasfromourenvironment,largelyinthecourseofourquestforhappiness,ourquestforpleasure.Wefindthatcertainthingsareunderourcontrolandtherearecertainthingsthatwewant,andwedefineourselvesaroundthe“we”that

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controlsandthe“we”thatwantsorwantstoexperiencecertainthings.Thesearecalledselfasproducerandselfasconsumer.Andeachofus,eventhoughwemayhavebeenbroughtupinthesameenvironmentasoursiblings,findthatwehaveverydifferentsensesofwhoweare,whotheyare.Soit’snotthecasethatwe’reirrevocablyformedbyourenvironment.It’sthroughourinteractionwithourenvironmentthatwecreateoursenseofwhat’spossible,whatwecando,whatwewant,what’sworthwanting.Someofthat’spickedupwilly-nillyfromtheoutsidebutalotofit’stherebecauseweletourgreed,aversion,anddelusiondothechoosing.

Ifyou’veeverbeenaparent,yourealizethatthere’sonlysomuchyoucanforceonyourchild.Andyetwhenwelookatourselves,wefeelthatourparentshadahugeinfluencethiswayorthat,butactuallyweweretheonesdoingalotofthechoosing.Sothequestionis,didwemakegoodchoices?Ifwedidn’t,wecanalwayschangethem.Whenyouseetheactofidentificationsimplyasthat,asanact,andyourmanydifferentidentitiesaredifferentpatternsofactions,differentstrategies,thenyoucanbegintoaskyourself:Whichofthesestrategiesprovidegoodresultsandwhichonesmuddythingsup?Whichofthemotivationsbehindthesestrategiesareclearandcleaninthesensethattheyharmnobody?Theydon’tharmyou;theydon’tharmanybodyelse.Andwhatkindofpleasuresareclearandcleaninthesensethattheydon’tgetyouintoxicatedandblinded?Ifyouhaveapleasurethatyoureallyenjoyandyetitcausesharmtootherpeople,youtendtodenythefactthatitcausesharm.Youblindyourself.

Thisiswhyit’simportanttoadopttheBuddha’spointofviewoflookingatthemindasabundleofactions.It’snotathing.It’sjustlotsofdifferentactions,lotsofdifferentstrategies.Someofthemkeepthemindobscured,darkenedfromwhatitcouldbe.WhentheBuddhapointsthisouttous,it’snotbecausehewantstocriticizeus.Ifhe’sdisgustedwithourdefilements,it’sbecausehelearnedhowtobedisgustedwithhisown,havingaverystrongsenseofhowlonghe’dbeenundertheirpowerandgivingintothem.Hehadidentifiedhimselfwiththemandthencametorealizeallthedamagethatwasdone.Sohe’dhadenough.

Youknowthewordnibbida,whichwetranslateasdisenchantment.Itcanalsomeandisgust.You’vebeenfeedingonthesethingsforwhoknowshowlongandnowyourealizethatit’sjustbeencausingalotofdamage.Youthoughtyouweregettinggoodnourishmentbutthatwasnotthecase.Soyouloseyourdesiretoeatthesethingsanymore.TheBuddha,inhiscompassion,seesotherpeoplesufferingfromthesamemisunderstandingsheusedtohave,andsoheshowsusthatthesearedefilements.Theydoobscurewhatwecouldactuallyseeinthemindifwe’donlyletourselvesletgoofthem,createbetterstrategies,betterhabitsinthemindsothatwewouldn’thavetodependontheseoldclumsyones.

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Wecanfashionbettertoolssowecanthrowtheoldshoddyonesaway.Thisisanimportantstepinthepractice.Andanimportantunderstanding.

Wereallydobenefitwhenweseeourdefilementsasdefilements.Theyreallydodefilethemind.ButasIsaid,theydon’tputapermanentstainonthemind.TheBuddha’simageisofcloudsinfrontofthesun:Theydarkenit,butthecloudsdon’thavetobethereandwhentheydoleave,theydon’tleaveastainonthesun.It’sbecausehewantedustoseethebrightnessthat’spossiblewhenthemindiscleansedofthesedefilements:Thatwashiscompassion.

Solearnhowtoseethesethingshisway.Lookataspectsofwhatyoumaythinkofasyourself,youridentity,thebeliefsandotherthingsyoupickedupfromyourenvironment,andaskyourselfwhichonesareobscuringyourawareness.Youmayhaveasentimentalattachmenttosomeofthem,asenseofnostalgia,butyoucan’tletthatgetinthewayoflettingthemgo.Youhavetorealizethattheyreallydoalotofharminthemind.Onlywhenyourecognizethatfactcanyoubefreefromthem,freefromthatharm.Andthefactthatsomeofthedefilementsareonesthatyouidentifywithmorethanothers,thatyoureallyholdontight,doesn’tmeanthattheyreallyaregenuinelyyouoryours.They’resimplyhabitsthataremoredeeplyentrenched.They’regoingtotakealongertimetodigup.Butthefirststepislearninghowtoseethemasaproblem—thatyoureallywouldbebetteroffwithoutthem.Learntoseeyourdenialofdefilementastheprimarydefilementyou’vegottoletgo.

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TheKindnessofBodyContemplationJanuary30,2013

Whenwefocusonthebreath,we’rewiththebodyinandofitself.Whatdoesthatmean,“inandofitself”?Therestoftheformulatellsusthatwe’re“ardent,alert,andmindful,puttingasideanygreedanddistresswithreferencetotheworld.”Inotherwords,wearen’tlookingatthebodyintermsofhowitfunctionsintheworld.We’resimplylookingatwhatit’sliketohaveanexperienceofabody,bothrightnowandovertime.

Likethebreathwe’refocusingonrightnow:Howdoesthebreathfeelrightnow?Wheredoyoufeelthebreath?Wheredoesthebreathflowsmoothly?Wheredoesitnotflowsmoothly?Ifit’snotflowingsmoothly,wherearethepatternsoftensioninthebodythatgetintheway?Howcanyoudissolvethem?Thesearethingsyoucanexplorerighthere,rightnow.

Butit’salltooeasytoslipawayfromthebodyinandofitselftothebodyintheworld—inotherwords,whatitlooksliketootherpeople,whatyourimageofthebodyisthatyou’recarryingintotheworld,whetherit’sstrongenoughtodotheworkyouwant.Alltheseareissuesyouwanttoputasiderightnow.Whetheryoulikeyourbodyordon’tlikeyourbodyisnotanissue.Theissue’sjustbeingwiththebodyrighthere,rightnow.

Soweneedtoolstocutawaythesetendenciestogobacktoourlikesanddislikesaboutthebody,ourfrustrationwiththebody,ourpridearoundthebody,whatevertheissuesare.That’swhythereareothersupplementarymeditationthemestogoalongwiththebreath.

Oneofthosethemesistocontemplatethebodyintermsofitselements,torealizethatit’smadeofthesameelementsthateverythingelseoutthereismadeof.It’snothingreallyspecial,betterorworsethantheyare.Oryoucancontemplatethepartsofthebody,usingthelistwechantedjustnow,startingwithhairoftheheadandendingwithurine.Thatlistinparticularisanimportantmeditation.Thebeginningsofthatmeditationaretaughttoeverypotentialmonk,everypotentialnovice.Thepreceptorissupposedtoteacheachnewcandidatethefirstfiveitemsonthelist:hairofthehead,hairofthebody,nails,teeth,skin.You’retaughttoreflectonthesebackandforth.Thinkabouteachpartonitsown.Whatwoulditbelikeifitweretakenoutofthebodyandjustplacedonthefloorallbyitself?Howwouldyoureacttoit?Ifyouwalked

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intothemeditationhallhereandsawyourbodypartsonthefloor,eveniftheywereneatlylinedupandlabeled,you’drunaway.

Andwhenthosepartsareinthebody,whataretheywith?They’rewiththeblood,thelymph,andalltheotherthingsyouhaveinthebodythatyoureallydon’twanttothinkabout.Butthey’rethere.Andyouhavetoquestion:Whydon’tyouwanttothinkaboutthesethings?Ifyou’relookingatapersonandhaveotherissueswiththepersonyou’relookingat,theideaofthesethingsseemstogetintheway.Particularlyifyou’rephysicallyattractedtotheotherpersonorifyou’rephysicallyattractedtoyourself—orifyou’renotattractedtoyourself,thethoughtofthesethingsdisgustsyou.It’sinterestingthatwhetheryoulikethebodyordon’tlikethebody,thecureisthesame:lookatthebodyintermsofits32parts.Ifyouhavepridearoundyourbody,youdothiscontemplationtoremindyourselfthatthere’snothingtheretobeproudof.Ifyou’reashamedofyourbody,youdothiscontemplationtoremindyourselfthateveryoneelsehasthesamebodyparts,sothere’snothingtobeashamedof.Thiscontemplationisagreatequalizer.

Howdoyoudoit?Youcangothroughthelist,visualizingeachofthepartsandaskyourself,wherearetheyrightnow?Onecommonexerciseistostartwiththebones.Visualizeeachofthebonesasyoucanrememberthem,startingwiththebonesatthetipsofyourfingersandgoingupthroughthehands,thearms,andtheshoulders.Thenshifttothetipsofthetoesandgoupthroughthelegs,thepelvis,allthebonesinthespineupthroughtheneckandtheskull.Whenyoudothis,yourealizethatwhatyouhavehereisthesameaswhateverybodyelsehas.Thishelpsliberateyoufromtheideathatyourbodyisbetterthanotherpeople’sbodiesorworsethanotherpeople’sbodiesbecauseweallhavethesameparts,andnoneofthemareworthputtingonshow.

YoucanthinkofthebodyintermsofthewaytheyeatmangosinthePhilippines.Youtakeaknifeandfirstyoucutthesidesofthemangoawayfromtheseed,andthenyou’vegottwolittleboatsofmango,eachinitsskin.Thenyoucutthefleshcrosswiseinlittlesquareswithoutcuttingtheskin,andyoucanturnitinsideoutsothatthesquaresofmangoseparateoutandyoucaneatthemwithoutusingaspoon.Imaginedoingthatwithyourbody.ImagineMissUniverseorwhoeverdoingthattoherbodyaspartofherwalkdowntherunway.Whatshehasisthesameaswhatyou’vegot.Thenreflectonthecosmeticindustryandyourealizethateverythingtheysellisjusttopaintthisup,topretendthatthingslikeliversandintestinesarenotthereinthebodyortodisguisethefactthatthebody’sgettingolderandolderaswespeak.

Ifyou’rewillingtodothispractice,youfindit’sreallyliberating.You’renolongeraslavetothecosmeticindustryoralltheotherfacetsoftheadvertisingindustrythatwanttomakeyoufeelbadaboutyourbodysothatyou’llbuytheir

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productstomakeyoufeelbetteraboutyourbody.Theywantyoutokeepfeedingoffthefearthatyourbodyisnotuptosnuff,butit’scloseenoughtobeingbeautifulthattheirproductswillmakethedifference.Butifyouholdnodelusionsaboutyourbodyoranyoneelse’sbody,you’refree.

I’malwaysamazedatthepeoplewhodon’tlikethiscontemplation,whosayit’simposedonthem,thatit’soppressiveorunfair,whatever.It’sactuallyveryliberatingbecauseitequalizesandstripsawaythedelusionsthatkeepusenslaved.Asforwhatevernegativeimagecomesupinthecourseofthecontemplation,there’sadifferencebetweenahealthynegativeimageandanunhealthynegativeimageofyourbody.Theunhealthyoneiswhenyouseeyourbodyasdeficientinonewayoranother,andotherpeople’sasbeautiful.Ahealthynegativebodyimageiswhenyouseethateverybody’sequalinhavingallthesepartsofthebodythatarereallynotallthatappealing,reallynotallthatworthholdingonto.

Thisisnotmeantjusttoovercomelust.It’salsomeanttoovercomeanykindofattachmenttothebody,realizingthatthisattachmentcancauseallkindsofproblems,allkindsofsuffering.Ireadrecentlyaboutalayteacherwhodecidedthatthiswasabadkindofcontemplation,meanttomakewomenfeelinferior,andsoshehaddecidedtosubstituteitwithanotherone,havinggoodwillforyourbodyandgoodwillforanysenseofshamearoundthebody.Butshe’dalsonoticedthattheresultsofthiscontemplationwerefragile.Everytimeanewwrinkleappeared,she’dhavetogothroughitalloveragain.Whereasifyourealizethatthere’sreallynothinghereworthgettingallexcitedabout,theappearanceofwrinklesisnobigdeal.Everybodyhasthem.They’rejustawarningsignalthatyoushouldaccelerateyoureffortstodogood.

Solearntoseethiscontemplationasreallyliberating.AjaanMahaBoowatalksaboutitasoneofhismaincontemplationsforgaininginsightnotonlyintoyourideasaboutyourownbodyandabouteverybodyelse’sbodies,butmoreimportantlyintothedeceptionsofperception—andparticularlyyourperceptionofwhat’sattractiveandwhat’snot.Theperceptionsarewhatyou’reafter.Whyareyourperceptionssoarbitrary?What’shidingbehindthefactthatyouchooseoneperceptionoveranother—thatthisisattractive,that’snotattractive?Yourperceptionsaredrivenbyyourgreed,aversion,anddelusion.Andifyoucan’tseethat,you’llneverbefreefromyourgreed,aversion,anddelusionbecausethey’llbeparadingtheseperceptionsinfrontofyouandfoolingyouallthetime.

Sothisisnotacontemplationthatbad-mouthsthebody.It’sjustfocusingonhowthemindrelatestothebodyanditputsthemindinapositionwhereitreallycanbewiththebodyjustinandofitself.Thatwayyoubegintoseeotherthingsinandofthemselvesaswell:yourfeelings,yourperceptions,thoughtfabrications,statesofyourmind,anyqualitiesthatwouldpullyouawayfrom

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stayingwiththebodyhereinthepresentmomentoranyqualitiesthatwouldhelpinthatdirection.Youwanttobeabletoseethesethingsclearlyforwhattheyareandwhilethey’rehappening.Themoreyou’reabletostepbackfromeitheryourpridearoundyourbodyoryourshamearoundyourbody,themoreyourealizethatneitherisahelpfulattitudetobringtothepractice.Whenyoucanstepawayfromthesethings,you’rethatmuchclosertofreedom,tofindingahappinessthat’sindependentfromboththebodyandtheeventsinyourmind.

It’snotlikewe’resayingthebodyisbadandthemindisgood.There’ssomethingdeeperthaneventhemindthatwe’reafter.AstheBuddhasays,this“something”canbetouchedbythemindandit’stouchedandseenatthebody.Thepotentialopeningtoitisalwaysrighthereinthepresentmomentwherethemindandthebodymeet.Whereyouhaveanexperienceofthebodyrightnow:That’swheretheexperienceofthedeathlesswillcome.Aslongasthemindhastheseissuesaroundlikingordislikingthebody,it’snotgoingtobeabletosettleintothespotwhereitcantouchandseethatotherdimension.

Sousethiscontemplationforitsintendedpurpose.It’snottohatethebody,ortomakeyoufeelashamedofyourself.It’stofreeyoufromthebodyandfromalltheattitudesinthemindthatgetattachedtothebodyandtheneitherlikeitordislikeitbecauseoftheattachment.Whenyouunderstandthiscontemplation,youfindthatitreallyisveryhelpful.It’soneofthekindestthingstheBuddhaleftbehind.

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Freedom&ResponsibilityOctober30,2011

Ifyougotoanallopathicdoctor,yougetaskedcertaintypesofquestionsaboutyoursymptoms,questionsthathelpthedoctorfigureoutwhereyoufallwithinthedoctor’srangeofexpertise.Ifyougotoahomeopathicdoctor,yougetadifferentsetofquestions.IfyougotoaChinesedoctor,adifferentset.Ayurvedic,adifferentset.Ifyou’vegrownupwithinanyofthesesystems,thequestionsinthatsystemwillseemmostnaturaltoyou.They’rethesortofthingsyou’velearnedtoobserveaboutyourself.You’velearnedtointernalizethewaythatsystemlooksatyourbodyandatyourdisease.Otherwaysoflookingatdiseasewillseemstrange.

Ofcourse,thequestionalwaysis,doesthatwayoflookingatyourbodyserveyourneedsorjusttheneedsofthesystem?Youhearthehistoryofallopathicmedicineandhowtheysqueezedouteverybodyelsesotheyweretheonlyoneswhowerenotlabeledasquacks.Ithelpedexposealotofactualcharlatans,butit’salsocausedustomissoutonalotofalternatives.

Thesameappliestopsychiatryorpsychotherapy.TherearecasesthatwouldcometoanexorcistinThailand,andtheexorcistwouldimmediatelysay,oh,spiritpossession.IfthesamesortofcasecametoapsychiatristhereintheStates,he’dsay,ah,schizophrenia.Sowhichisit?Youhavetolabelitsoyoucancureit,butwhichlabelwillleadtothemosteffectivewayofcuringthedisease?There’salwaysthequestion:Areyoubeingbestservedbythesedifferentsystemsorareyoujustbeingtreatedasmoregristfortheirmill?

ThisisoneoftheareasinwhichtheBuddha’steachingsarereallyspecial.Allheteaches,hesays,aresufferingandtheendofsuffering.Buthedoesn’treallydefinesufferingthatclearly.Hegivesexamplesandthey’reprettybroad:notgettingwhatyouwant,havingtostaywithwhatyoudon’tlike,beingseparatedfromwhatyoudolike.Youcaninterprettheseexamplesinyourownlanguageandtailorthemtoyourneeds.Andthecureheadvisesisnotonethathe’sgoingtoimposeonyou.It’sonethatyouhavetoadministeryourself.

Thisgivesyoualittlebitmoreconfidence.You’renotthereforthesakeoftheinstitution.Ofcourse,therehavebeenBuddhistinstitutionsthathavedevelopedaroundwaysofdefiningyourproblemforyou,liketheTibetanBookoftheDeadortheChineseSutraoftheTenKings,wheretheytellyouyou’vegot

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tolookoutforyourdeadancestorsbecauseatthisnumberofdaysaftertheirdeaththey’regoingtogotothiscourtorthey’regoingtogothroughthisstageofthebardoandyou’vegottopaythemonksorthenunstodotheproperchantstomakesureyourdeadlovedonesgetthroughthestage.Thatsortofteachingisobviouslythereforthesakeoftheinstitution.Butasfortheoriginalteachings,yourealizethatyou’retotallyfreetotakethemornot.Eventhedefinitionofyoursufferingissomethingyouprovideforyourselfwhenyoustartout.Asyoupractice,you’llfindthatyoursenseofwhatsufferingisandhowyou’regoingtocomprehenditwillgrowalotmoresubtle,butitgrowsmoresubtlebecauseyou’regettingmorefamiliarwithit.

SotopreservetheBuddha’soriginalintention,it’sourresponsibilityasindividualstotakechargeofourownpractice,ourowncure.TheBuddhagivespointersastowheretolook.Youlookatwhereyourcravingsare,youlookatwhereyourignoranceis,youlookatwhereyourclingingsare,allofwhichareverydifficultthingstosee—andverydifficultthingstoletgoof,especiallyinthecaseoftheclinging.Youhaveacertainsenseofyourownidentity:thethingsyoulike,thethingsyoudon’tlike,thethingsyou’rewillingtoputupwith,thethingsyouwon’tputupwith,thethingsyouwilllookat,andthethingsyourefusetolookat.Thiscancreateobstaclestoyourseeing,andittakesalotofhonestytoovercomethoseobstacles.Ithelpstohavesomeonewho’sbeenonthepathbeforeyoutokeepyouhonest.

ThisiswhywhentheBuddhawasteachingRahulatolookathisactionsintermsofhisintentions,theimmediateresults,andthelongtermresults,hesaidthatifyounoticethatyoudidsomethingthatcausedharm,goandtalkitoverwithsomeonewho’salreadyonthepathsoyougainthebenefitofthatperson’sinsight.WhenhetalkedtotheKalamas,tellingthemnottogosimplybywhatyourteachersaysorbywhatthetextssay,healsoadvisedthemnottogobytheirownsenseofwhatseemsrightorwrong.Thismeansthatyou’vegottotestthingsinpracticetoseewhichtypesofactionsactuallygivegoodresultsandwhichonesgivebadresults.Atthesametime,hesays,youhavetotakeintoconsiderationtheopinionsofthewise.

Soyoudon’thavetoreinventtheDhammawheeleverytimeyouact.You’reinapositionwhereyoucantakeadvantageofotherpeople’soutsideperspective,whichisarealhelpbecauseit’saloteasierforotherpeopletoseeyourdefilementsthanitisforyoutoseeyourown.Forthosewhohavegonefurtheronthepath,it’seveneasiertoseethetypesofdefilementsthateverybodyelseinsocietytakesforgranted.

ThisisoneofthereasonswhytheBuddhaoftenhadhisstudentsgotopracticeindifferentpartsofIndiaawayfromwheretheyhadgrownup.Theculturewouldbedifferentandthat’dgiveadifferentperspectiveonthethings

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youusuallytookforgranted.IknowthiswasoneofthemajoradvantagesofmygoingtoThailand.SomeofthevaluesItookforgrantedandsomeoftheactivitiesandattitudesItookforgranted,Isuddenlydiscovered,werequestionedoverthereandviewedwithacertainamountofsuspicionandskepticism.Itwasgoodtohavethatoutsideperspective.

ButIstillhadtodotheworkonmyown.ThisiswhatAjaanFuangmeantwhenhesaidyouhavetothinklikeathief.Don’texpecttheteachertohandeverythingtoyou.Youhavetotrytofigurethingsoutforyourself.Thatdoesn’tmeanjustfiguringoutwhattheteachingsarebutalsofiguringoutwhereyourowndefilementsare,figuringouthowyouplaytricksonyourself,howyouhidethingsfromyourself.You’rethejointthathastobecased.

Onlyifyou’rewillingtotakeonthatresponsibilityisthetrainingpossible.Theteacherisheretoprovideperspective,tohelpsuggestopportunitiesorapproachesyoumightnothavethoughtofonyourown—orthatmighthaveoccurredtoyouonlyafteralongtime.Butthebasicworkinadministeringthecureisyourwork.Itrequiresalotofhonesty,alotofpatience:allthequalitiesthatmakeyouareliableperson.

Soinsteadofsimplypresentingyourselftothedoctorandaskingforthecure,youstarttakingchargeofyourowncure.Theroleoftheteacheristokeepwatchsoastonoticewhenyou’regettingoffcourse.AsAjaanChahsaid,heseespeoplewanderingofftherightsideoftheroadsohesays,“Goleft,goleft.”Otherpeoplewanderofftheleftsideandhesays,“Goright,goright.”It’snotamatterofsimplycopyingdownafewofateacher’steachingsandputtingtheminabook,takingthemashisbasicapproachtotheDhammaorhisbasicteaching.Theteachingshavetobeunderstoodincontext.

Thecrucialcontextisyourownsensethatyou’vehadenoughsuffering—howeveryoufeelburdened—andthatyouwanttoputanendtoit.Thismaytakeyoualotfartherandrequirealotmorefromyouthanyoumighthaveoriginallyimagined.Butasyougetonthepath,yourealizethatthat’swhereyouwanttogo.Nobodyforcesyoutostayonthepath.Ifyoudecideatacertainpointthatyouwanttowanderoffpath,that’syourchoice.We’retryingtopreserveyourfreedomallthewaythrough.Butwithfreedomcomesresponsibility.

Whatkeepsyougoingisastrongsensethatifyoudon’tfollowthepath,ifyoudon’ttakecareofyourownmind,there’sgoingtobesuffering—whichisnotapointthatsomeinstitutionistryingtousetothreatenyou.It’safactoflife.

Theytalkinpostmoderntermsabouthoweverythingisdeterminedbylanguage,butpainisnottotallydeterminedbylanguage.Thewayyouinterpretthepain,thewayyouunderstandhowit’scausedislargelydeterminedbylanguage,butthefactofthepainisalwaysthere,evenpriortolanguage.It’sthe

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realitythatkeepsimpingingonwhateverideaswehaveaboutourselves,whateverstructureswebuildforourownself-identityorourideaofwherewefitintheworldorhowtheworldfitsaroundus.Thoseideasmaybeexpressedinlanguage,buttheykeeprunningupagainstpain,whichissomethingbeyondlanguage.ThegoaltheBuddhaproposesisalsosomethingbeyondlanguage.Hestatesthatoneofthethingsyourealizewhenyoucometotheendofsufferingisthatyouknowhowfarlanguagegoesandyouknowwhatgoesbeyondlanguage.

Soit’snotjustastructurethatwe’retryingtoimposeonyoutokeepyouinthestructure.Thisisastructurethat’smorelikeafireescapedesignedtogetyououtofthestructure,anditdealswithproblemsthatcomepriortothestructure.It’snotthatthediseaseisdefinedbytheabilityofthedoctortotreatyou.It’sdefinedbyyourownsenseofbeingburdenedandweigheddownbysomethinghardtobear.

Sokeepthesepointsinmindasyoupractice.Theteacherisheretogivepointers,tohelpgiveperspective,tocallyouonthingsyouneedtonoticeaboutyouractions.Butbasically,you’retheonewhohastodecidewhetheryou’regoingtotaketheteacher’sadvice.Andyou’retheonewhohastodecideifyou’rereallyseriousaboutputtinganendtosuffering.There’sfreedomofchoice,butwiththefreedomcomesalotofresponsibility.Ifyoudon’ttakeonthatresponsibility,youwon’tbeabletofindtheevengreaterfreedomofrelease.

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ChoicefulAwarenessJuly21,2012

Sometimesourproblemasmeditatorsisthatwe’vereadtoomuch,listenedtotoomanyexplanationsaboutmeditation.Weknowwhathappensattheendand,givenourgeneralimpatience,wewanttorushrightthere.We’veheardaboutallthewonderfulthingsthathappenwhenyougaindiscernmentandinsightarises,andsowewanttoberightthere,rightnow,withoutbuildingthefoundation,withoutmasteringtheskillsthatareneededforthatinsightreallytohaveanimpactonthemind,tohavethereallydesiredeffect—whichistotrainthemindnottocreatesufferingforitself.

Sorememberthatwhatwe’redevelopinghereisaskill,andtheskillhastogothroughverybasicsteps.Don’tthinkthatyou’retooadvancedforthosebasics.They’rebasicnotbecausethey’resimplebutbecausethey’reimportant,likethebasicprincipleofkamma:thatourlivesarebeingshapedbythechoiceswemake.We’drathergostraighttochoicelessawareness,whereeverythingisalreadyokayandnothinghastobedone.Now,itistruethatatthemomentofawakeningthemindisnotmakingchoices;ithasfinallyarrivedataspotwhere,innotmakinganychoice,itopenstothedeathless.Buttogettothatpointyoufirsthavetomasterchoicefulawareness—inotherwords,beingveryclearaboutthechoicesyou’remaking,andtryingtodothemskillfully.

Forinstance,rightnowyoucouldbestayingwiththebreathoryoucouldbefocusingonsomethingelse.Youcouldbebreathinginonewayoryoucouldbebreathinginanother.Youcouldbeperceivingthebreathsimplyastheaircominginandoutofthenoseoryoucouldbeperceivingitasakindofenergy.Youcouldperceivethatenergyasflowingorasstill.Therearelotsofchoices,andthefactiswe’remakingalotofdecisionsallthetime.Theproblemisthatmanyofthosedecisionsarebeingmadeondefaultmodesothatwe’rehardlyawareofthem.Asaresult,whenyouthinkyou’repracticingchoicelessawareness,what’sactuallyhappeningisthatyou’reclosingyoureyestothechoicesyou’remaking.

Yearsback,therewasthestoryofamonkwhohadgonetoAjaanMahaBoowa’smonasteryanddeclaredtosomeofthejuniormonkstherethathehadnodoubtsabouttheBuddha’steachings—whichinthevocabularyofthemonasterywasadeclarationofstreamentry.SosomeonereportedthistoAjaanMahaBoowa,andAjaanMahaBoowaputhishandsoverhiseyesandsaid,“I

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havenodoubts.IhavenodoubtsaboutanythingIsee.”Ofcourse,youdon’tseeanythingwithyourhandsoveryoureyes.Thepointhewasmakingisthatthemonkwasreallynotpayingmuchattention.There’salottodoubt;there’salottoquestionyourselfaboutinthepractice.Andthisisnotamatterofunskillfuldoubt.Therearelotsofthingsyoucanhaveskillfulquestionsabout.Youwanttoexplore.

Thisespeciallyappliestoyourchoices.Toooftenwethinkwe’renotmakingchoicesandyetit’ssimplybecausethechoiceshavegoneunderground.Oneofthepurposesofmeditationistobringthosechoicesupintothelightofdaysoyoucanseethemandlearnhowtomakethemmoreskillful.Infact,bymakingthemmoreskillful,yougetmoreandmoresensitivetothechoicesthatarebeingmadeonevensubtlerlevels.

Soforthetimebeing,choosetostaywiththebreath.Ifyoufindthemindwanderingoff,choosetocomebacktothebreathagain.Andifitfeelslikealotofeffortisbeingputintofocusingonthebreath,well,choosetomakethateffort.It’sinsettingupthissortofintentionthatyougivesomethingforallyourotherintentionstobounceoffof.That’showyoubecomesensitivetothem.Ifthemindseemstobetotallyplacid,acceptingeverythingthatcomesalong,giveitthischoicetostaywiththebreathandseehowacceptingitis.Ifit’snotacceptingofthischoice,you’vegotaproblem.Whenyourecognizethattheproblemissomethingyouneedtosolve,youcanbegintodigupsomeoftheissuesinthemindthatyouhaven’tbeensensitivetobefore.Youcanrealizehowthemindwasmakingalloftheseotherchoicesanditlikedwanderingaroundorallowingthoughtstocomeinwithoutanyresistance.Itseemedtobemakingnochoicesbecausenoneofitschoiceswerebeingchallenged.

Sohereyou’rechallengingthosechoiceswiththebreath.Noticehowyou’rebreathing.Explorewhatkindofbreathingfeelsgoodrightnowbecausethat’sanareawhereyoucanexercisesomeskillfulchoices.Noticehowyouthinkaboutthebreath.Noticehowyouevaluatethebreath.Thosearewaysinwhichyoumakechoicesaswell.

Decidewhetheryoulikethiskindofbreathingornot.Ifyoufindsomethingyoulike,stickwithittotestforyourselfwhetheryoumadeagoodchoice.Ifitfeelsgoodforawhile,that’sokay.Choosetostickwithit.Ifafterawhileitdoesn’tfeelgoodanymore,youcanchoosetochange.It’sthroughexercisingyourpowersofchoicethatyoubecomemoresensitivetohowtheyfunctionandtotheimpactthattheyhave.Thatenablesyoutogetbetterandbetteratmakinggoodchoices.

Forexample,youcanfocusonthewayyouperceivethebreath.Whenthebreathcomesin,wheredoyouthinkofitcomingin?Fromwhichdirectionsdoesitcomein?Youmightwanttoexplorefirsttoseewhatthosedirections

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alreadyarebeforeyoudecidetomakechanges.Sometimes,whenyoubreathein,somepartsofthebodyaregettingtheirbreathenergyfromthefrontandothersaregettingbreathenergyfromtheback.Somepartshavethebreathenergycomingdownfromthetopofthehead;othershavebreathenergycomingupfromthesolesofthefeet.Theseenergiesmaybeharmoniousormaybeinconflict.Thisissomethingyoucanexplore.

Thenyoutrytofigureouthowtoresolvesomeofthoseconflicts.Howdoyoubreatheandhowdoyouholdaperceptionofthebreathinmindthatallowsthingstoworktogether,sothatwhenthebreathenergycomesin,thewholebodyfeelslikeit’sbeingnourished,withnosenseofconflict?Asyoustaywiththebreath,youbegintonoticethatthebreathenergyinsomepartsofthebodyismoving,whileinotherpartsofthebodyit’sstill.Now,itcanbestilleitherbecausethosepartsofthebodyarebeingdepletedorstarvedofbreathenergy,orbecausethey’refull.Theydon’tneedanymoreenergy.AjaanFuang’simageisofabigjarofwater.InThailand,whentheycollectrainwater,theyuseenormousearthenwarejars.Aslongasthejarisempty,youcanputmorewaterin,putmorein,putmorein,butyougettoapointwhereit’sfullandnomatterhowmuchmorewateryouputin,thewaterinthejarisjustgoingtostayasitwas.Youcan’tmakeitevenmorefullthanthat.Anyexcesswaterjustoverflows.

Thesamewiththebreath:It’susuallyagoodideatotrytobreatheinanenergeticwayasyoubeginmeditating,andtothinkofthemovingbreathenergygoingthroughallpartsofthebody,wakingupthedifferentelements,wakingupthedifferentpartsofthebody,energizingthemuntilyougainasensethatthebreathenergyisfullandthattryingtopushmoreenergyintoaparticularpartofthebodyisactuallyunpleasant.That’sasignyou’vegotasectionofthebodythatshouldbeleftaloneandallowedtostaystill.Thesenseofstillnessthat’sfull:That’swhatyouallowtospreadatthenextstage.

There’saDhammatalkwhereAjaanLeementionsthatyoudon’twanttospreadthemovingenergyaround.He’stalkingaboutthissecondstage,wherethere’sjustasenseoffullness,stillness,lightness,pleasure.Sometimes,paradoxically,thefullnessfeelsempty,butthere’sasensethatitfeelsreallygood.Youallowittospreadaround.Letitspreadthroughthebodyandallowallthestill-energyareastoconnectup.Thebreathwillthengetalotmorerefined.Youcanpursuethistothepointwhereeverythinggrowstotallystill.Yourthoughtsarestill;thebreathisstill;thebodyfeelsfilledwithstillbreathenergy;themindfeelsnoneedtogothinkingaboutanythingelse.

Ofcourse,deepdowninside,it’sstillmakingchoices,choosingsubtlytostayrighthere,stayrighthere,tomaintainwhatyou’vegot.Butalotofotherchoicesjustfallaway.You’renotinterestedingettinginvolvedwithotherthings,andwhenotherchoicesorintentionsdocomeup,youseethemveryclearly:how

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theyformatthefrontierareawherethey’renotclearlymentalorphysical.There’sakindofstirring,andyoucanjustleaveitasastirringinthebreathenergy,orthemindcouldslapaperceptionorlabelonitandturnitintoathoughtandgorunningwithit.Butasyou’restayingrighthere,yourealizethatyou’rerightatthepointwherethatkindofdecisionisbeingmade.Forthetimebeing,youcandecide:nothoughts,nothoughts.

Whenlittleeddiesofbreathenergythreatentoturnintonodules,allowthemtodissolveaway.Youdon’twanttoexploretheircontentbecausefirstyouwanttogetreally,reallyskilledatknowingwhatthemindislikewhenaveryminimalleveloffabricationorchoiceisgoingon.That’ssoyougetmoreandmoresensitivetochoiceswhentheyhappen.

Thisishowyouapproachtheadvancedlevelofmeditationwherethemindismakingfewerandfewerchoicesafterfirstchoosingtobeverysensitivetohowyou’remakingthechoicesandwhattheresultsare.You’repracticingchoicefulawareness:learninghowthemindchoosestobestillandchoosesvariouswaysofbreathingandperceivingthebreathandperceivinganydistractionsthatmaycomeupinsuchawaythatyoucanmaintainthisstillness.Ifyou’regoingtobethinkingaboutinconstancy,stress,ornot-self—anicca,dukkha,anatta—focusthatanalysisonthedistractionssothatyoucanquicklyletthemdissolve.Allowyourconcentrationandawarenessofthebreathtobeasconstantandpleasurableandasmuchundercontrolaspossible.It’sinexercisingthesechoicesthatyougetreally,reallysensitivetowhat’sgoingon.

Thatway,whenthemomentarriveswherethere’sagenuinelackofchoice,you’repoisedrightatthethresholdofsomethingreallyimportant.It’sbecauseyou’vedevelopedthissensitivitytochoicethatyoucandetecteventheslightestglimmeringsofchoicethatmaycomeupinthemind.That’showyouletthemgo.Withouthavingdevelopedthissensitivity,youwon’tseethem.Ifyoudon’tseethem,there’snowayyoucanletthemgo.

Sodon’tbeintoogreatahurrytogettotheendpoint.Whatyoushouldbefocusingonrightnowismakingsureyou’vegotthebasicchoicesdownpat,overandoverandoveragain.Thisrequirespatience.Everybody,ofcourse,wouldliketogostraighttotheendbutyoucan’tgototheenduntilyou’vegottenreallysensitiveaboutthebasics:thechoicetokeepcomingbacktothebreathandtochooseskillfulwaysofbreathing.Thosearethechoicesthatwillopenthingsupinside.Thepathmaynotprogressasquicklyasyou’dlike,butitdoesprogress.Itgetsyouthere.Otherwise,ifyoutrytoforceyourselfstraighttotheend,youendupfallingoffandgoingnowhereatall.

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TheTruthofTranscendenceOctober27,2010

Yearsback,afriendofmybrotherfoundoutthatIwasaBuddhistmonkandsohedecidedtogetapresentformyniece.Itwasalittlebox,calledBuddhainaBox.IthadalittleplasticineBuddhaandalittlebookletontheBuddha’steachings,whichtoldofhowtheBuddhaawakenedtofourwonderfultruths:lovingkindness,compassion,sympatheticjoy,andequanimity.[Pause.]There’snolaughter.[Laughter.]Youthinkthat’swhattheBuddhaawakenedto?Thosefourwonderfultruths?[Morelaughter.]Ihadtositmyniecedownandexplainthingstoher.

MorerecentlyIreadsomeonesayingtheBuddhaawakenedtofournobletruthsaboutlife,andthatwasit.Inotherwords,hedidn’tawakentoanythingtranscendent,hedidn’treallyputanendtosuffering,didn’tfindanythingunconditioned.Hejustfoundthattherewerefour,again,wonderfultruthsaboutlife.Andthat’snottrueeither.Partofhisawakeningwasdiscoveringthefournobletruths,buthealsodiscoveredthereweretasksappropriatetothem.Therewereskillsthatyoudevelopedaroundthetruths,eachtruthrequiringaspecificskill:Sufferingistobecomprehended;thecauseofsuffering,craving,issomethingyouwanttolearnhowtoabandon;thecessationofsufferingissomethingyouwanttorealize,andthepathtothatcessation—whichinvolvesdispassionforthecraving—issomethingyouwanttodevelop.

ButtheBuddhadidn’tstopthere.Remember,theDhammawheelhastwelvespokesandsofarweonlyhaveeight.Theremainingfourspokeswererealizingthathe’dcompletedthedutieswithregardtoallfourtruths,anditwasthecompletionofthosedutiesthatledtosomethingbeyondthefournobletruths.Afterall,thetruthsarepartofthepathandthepathdoesgosomeplace.IftheBuddhadidn’thaveagoal,hewouldn’thaveusedtheimageofthepath.Thereisatotalendofsuffering;thereisatotalreleaseandit’stotallyunconditioned.

AnotherteacherIwasreadingsaidthatreleaseissomethingconditioned.ShecitedatextintheCanonwheretheBuddhastartsoutwithdependentco-arisingupthroughsufferingandthenfromsufferingtalksabouthowsufferinggivesrisetoconvictionandconvictiongivesrisetoeffortandjoy,concentration,discernment,allthewayuptorelease.Soherconclusionwasthatrelease,too,iscaused;therefore,shesaid,nibbanaisalsoaconditionedphenomenon—itcomes

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andgoes—andsheclaimedtobeabletodipintonibbanawhenevershewantedto,withthematurerealizationthatitwasn’tgoingtolast.Shepresentedthisasifitweregoodnews.

Againthisismissingthewholeimageofthepath.Thepathissomethingconditionedbutitcanleadtosomethingunconditioned.It’slikegainingreleasefromprison.Youhavetogothroughcertainprocesses—allthepaperwork,alltherequirementsthatyouhavetofulfillinordertogetoutofprison.Butthoseprocessesdon’tcreatethefreedomyoufindoutside.That’ssomethingindependentofthepaperwork,thebureaucratichassles.Thepaperworkgetsyouthere,butthefreedomisn’tcausedbythepaperwork.

Inthesameway,thereissomethingunconditioned.Thatpointhastoberepeatedoverandoveragain,becauseforsomereasontherearepeoplewhodon’tliketheidea,whetherit’sbecauseitmakesthemfeelinferiororthatthere’sademandplacedonthem:“There’ssomebodyouttherewho’sattainedfreedom,whereasIhaven’tattainedfreedomandthereforethere’ssomethingwrongwithmeandIdon’twanttofeellikethere’ssomethingwrongwithmesolet’snoteventhinkaboutit.”Andthat’sjustsettingthebarsolowthatthere’snosuchthingasaccomplishment,nosuchthingasattainment,whichisnotagiftinanywayatall.

ButthepathwastheBuddha’sgifttootherpeople:Hefoundthepathtototallyunconditionedfreedomandhewasabletoteachit.Heshowedtheway.AsintheThaiwordnaenam:Nae-hewasabletoadvise;andnam-hewasabletoleadyouthere,showyouthepath,showyoubyexamplethatthiswaspossible.

Soeventhoughtheissueofanunconditionedfreedommaynotbeyourimmediateproblemrightnowasyou’remeditating,iftherewerenofreedom,itwouldbeabigproblem.Itwouldshutthedooronanyhopeofatotalreleasefromsuffering.We’dbestuckhere—andhowthatcouldbegoodnews,Ihavenoidea.Therealgoodnewsisthatthereisanunconditioned.And,throughyoureffortsandthroughyourdesiresandthroughyourattemptstoachievemastery,itcanbeattained.Thereisanendtotheworkwe’redoinghere.

Sodon’tconfusethepathwiththegoal.Thepathisonething;thegoalissomethingelse.Andpartofthepathisunderstandingthefournobletruthsandlearninghowtousethem.Thatmuchistrue,butit’snottheend.Wewanttolearnhowtoseethingsintermsofthefournobletruthssothatwecanapplythedutiesandmastertheskills.

Now,thisisaveryspecialwayofseeingthings.Itdoesn’tcomeautomatically.Insomeofthetexts,theBuddhastartsrightoutwiththefournobletruths,butinothershehastoworkuptothem.Basically,hestartsoutwithwhat’scalledmundanerightview,whichessentiallyisbeliefintheprinciple

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ofkamma,youractions:thatyouractionsreallydomakeadifference,thatthequalityofyourintentionsreallydoesdeterminethequalityoftheresults.Therearegoodandbadactionsleadingtogoodandbadresults.Alotofusresistthisteachingbecauseassoonaswethinkaboutourpastactionshavingresults,wethinkaboutallthebadthingswedidandsay,“Oops,they’regoingtocomeandgetme.”

Butthat’snothowtheBuddhaintroducedthetopicofkamma.Whenhewastalkingaboutmundanerightviewortheprincipleofkamma,he’dstartoutwithgenerosityandgratitude.Thephrasingis,“Thereiswhatisgiven,thereiswhatissacrificed,thereiswhatisoffered.”Itsoundsstrange,buthe’sbasicallypointingoutthatgivingdoesconstituteameritoriousact,andfortworeasons.One,youdohavechoices—andthisisprobablytheessentialpartoftheBuddha’steachingsonkamma,onaction:thatyouhavechoices,thatthingsarenotdeterminedtotallybythepast.Theresultsofpastactionsaregoingtocropup,butgiventherangeofthingsthatcancropup,youhavechoicesinanyonemomentastowhetheryou’regoingtoshapethoseexperiencesinaskillfulorunskillfulway.Sowhenyougivesomething,it’sbecauseyou’vemadeachoice.Youweren’tforcedtogive.

Thesecondreasonforwhygivingismeritoriousisbecausetheactionofgivingdoeshaveresults.Itdoesleadtopositivestatesofmind,positiveconditionsthathaverealvaluebecausepeoplehavevalue.Peoplehavevaluebecausetheycanmakechoices.

Asforgratitude,theBuddhastartsoutbysaying,“Thereismotherandfather.”Thiswasinoppositiontoabeliefthatyoudidn’thaveanyrealdebttoyourparentsbecause,ingivingbirthtoyouandraisingyou,theyjustwereactingundertotallypredeterminedforces,sotheyhadnochoiceinthematter.Youcameout,andthat’sit.Itwasjustamechanicalorabiologicalprocess.

Butonceyourealizethatyourparentshadchoices—theyhadthechoicetogivebirthtoyou,theyhadthechoicetoletyoulive,andinmanycasestheytaughtyouhowtospeak,howtowalk,raisedyou—youhaveahugedebttothem.Eveniftheydidn’traiseyou,eveniftheyabandonedyouatbirthtobeadoptedbysomebodyelse,atleasttheygaveyouthebodyyouhave.Theydidn’tabortthepregnancy.Sothere’sadebttothem,adebtofgratitude—gratitudeheremeaninganappreciationofthegoodnessthatotherpeoplehavedoneforyou,thefactthatthehappinessyouhavedependsontheskillfulchoicesthatotherpeoplehavemade.

There’sadebtthatgoesalongwiththat.Andthere’salessonaswell:thatwedependonthegoodnessofothersandthehardchoicesthatsomepeoplehavetomake.Ifwewantgoodnesstocontinueintheworld,we’regoingtohavetolearntomakehardchoicesaswell.Wecan’tjustassumethatwhatevercomeseasyis

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okay.Sometimesyouhavetomakethehardchoicetogooutofyourwaytodosomethingyouknowisreallygood,reallyhelpful,eventhoughitrequiressacrifices.

Sothat’showtheBuddhaintroducedhisteachingonkamma,onaction:Thereisgoodnessintheworldbecausepeoplecanchoose.

Thenfromthoseprincipleshe’dgivewhatwascalledagraduatedteachingoragradualteaching.He’dgothroughvarioustopicsstartingwithgenerosityandvirtueandthentherewardsthatcomefromgenerosityandvirtue.He’dtalkaboutheaven,whichisanotherpartoftheteachingonkamma:Thereisalifeafterthisone,andtheactionswedointhislifetimebearresultsnowandonintothefuture.Iftheactionsaregood,theycanopenthewaytoheaven.Butheavenisn’tpermanent.Youhavesomegoodtimesupthere,sportingwithyourfellowdevas,andthenyouhavetofallagain—andwhenyoufall,youfallhard.TherewereacoupleofpeopleIknewinThailandwhowereconstantlydissatisfied.Youcouldneverdoenoughforthem.AndAjaanFuangmadeacommentaboutthemonce,sayingthattheyweredevasinapreviouslifetimeandtheydon’tlikebeinghumanbeingsagain,becauseit’salotharderandalotlessfun.

Sothere’sadanger,therearedrawbackstoeventhegoodrewardsthatyouwouldgainfromgenerosityandvirtueasyouwanderthroughvariousstatesofbeingandbecoming.ItwasaftercomingtothesedrawbacksthattheBuddhawouldtalkabouttherewardsofrenunciation,lookingforahigherhappiness,tradinginthehappinessthatcomesfromgenerosityandvirtueforthesakeofahappinessthat’smorelasting,thatcomeswithgivingupyourdesireforsensualpleasuresandlookingforsomethingdeeperinside,morelastinginside.

Onceyou’dseentherewardsofrenunciation,you’dbereadyforthefournobletruths,whichrequireawillingnesstoturnaroundandlook,evenwhenthingsaregoingwell,toremindyourselfthatthesethingsthataregoingwellarenotgoingtogowellforeverandisthatreallysatisfactory?There’salwaysgoingtobeahitch;there’salwaysgoingtobesomethingimpermanent.There’salwaysstresseveninthepleasure.

Thesecondnobletruthteachesthatthecauseforthatstresscomesfromthecravingthattendstogoalongwiththepleasure.Soyouwanttolookforthatandtodevelopthequalitiesofmindthatcanseethatcravinganddevelopdispassionforit.Thisiswhywedevelopallthedifferentfactorsofthepath,whywe’resittinghereconcentratingrightnow,tryingtobemindful,tryingtogetthemindcentered:soitcanfindapleasurethatliesabovethesensualpleasure.AstheBuddhasaid,it’sonlyifyoufindthispleasurethatcomesfromstillnessthatthemindcangetabetterperspectiveonitssensualdesiresandgenuinelyletthemgo.

Sohereyouare,cultivatingthedesireforahigherpleasure—whichis

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perfectlyfine.It’spartofrighteffort.TherewasanotherthingIreadrecently,whereateachersaidhewaswriting

withthepurposeofgettingpeopletogetridoftheircravingforawakening.That’sreallydestructive.TheBuddhasaidthatthedesireforawakening,thedesiretobeskillful,tobringskillfulnesstofruition,ispartofthepath.AsVen.Anandasaid,thecravingtogainawakeningissomethingthat’snecessaryforthepractice.Sowe’reworkingonthisdesiretocreateabetterstateofmind,amoresolidstateofmind,bothbecauseitgivesahigherpleasureandbecauseitputsthemindinabetterpositiontoseeitsmovements—toseeexactlywhereisthatmovementofcraving.Whatdoesitlooklike?Howdoyourecognizeit?Whereisthestress?Therearestressesthataresimplypartofthefactthatthingsariseandpassaway,butthenthere’sthestressthatcomesfromcraving.It’sadifferentkindofstress.It’stheonethatreallycausesthesufferingthatdigsdeepintothemind.Butit’stheoneyoucanreallydosomethingabout.

Sothisishowyoupreparethemindtostartusingthefournobletruthsanddevelopingtheskillsaroundthemsothatatsomepointyouwillhavetheskillsfullymastered.That’swhenyou’vegotacompleteDhammawheelinyourheart.Andthat’swheneventhetruthsgetputaside.RemembertheBuddha’simageoftheraft.Thefournobletruthsarepartoftheraft.Youdon’tcarrythemaroundafteryou’vegottentotheothershore,butwhileyou’recrossingtheriveryoudon’twanttoletthemgo.Ifyouletgooftheraftwhileyou’restillcrossingover,youjustgetsweptdowntheriver—andgoingwiththeflowoftheriverdoesn’tleadyoutogoodplaces.IntheBuddha’simage,you’reswepttomonsters,whirlpools,crocodiles,andotherbeastsdowntheriver.

Soweholdontotherafttogetacross,whichmeansholdingontothepath,ontoallthefactorsofthepath.Butit’salwaysgoodtohaveinthebackofyourmindtheconvictionthatthiswillleadtoadimensionoftruefreedom—total,ultimate—whereyouwon’tneedtoholdontoanything.Thisconvictionissomethingthatcanbetested,thatcanactuallybeverifiedinthislifetime.Andthat’sawonderfultruth.

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LossApril19,2010

Oneofthethingsyounoticeasyoupracticeishowmanyselvesyouhave.Oftenyouhavemorethanyounotice.Foreverydesireyoutakeon,there’sgoingtobethesenseofwhatyoucandotobringthatdesireabout,whatpowersyouhaveunderyourcontrol,andthenthesenseofyouasthepersonwho’sgoingtoexperiencethehappinessthatwillcomewhenthedesireisfulfilled.AstheBuddhasaid,thisdesireorcravingisthewaterthatnourishesoursenseofself.It’swhatprovidesthelocationaroundwhicheachsenseofselfdevelops.Thatholdstrueforeverydesirewehave.Sometimeswehaveadesireforfood,sometimesforshelter,forfriends,forrelationships,forallkindsofthings.Andwehaveasenseofselfforeachofthosedesires.

Especiallywhenwesufferlossofsomeoneorsomethingwethoughtwehad—somethingwedidhaveforawhilebutwasn’treallyasmuchoursaswethoughtitwas:It’snotjustthelossofthatthingorthatrelationship.There’sastrongsensethatwe’velostpartofourself,oneofourselves.

ThisisverycentraltotheBuddha’steachingsonsuffering.It’soneofthemaincausesforsuffering.Anditgoesdeep.OnceKingPasenadiwastalkingtotheBuddhaandoneoftheaidesfromthepalacecametohimandwhisperedinhisear,sayingthatQueenMallikahadjustdied.TheKingbrokedownandcried,sotheBuddhasaidtohim,“Didyoueverthinkthatshewouldliveforever?Howcanwehaveitinthisworld,thatthethingsandpeoplewelovedon’tpassaway?”

Butthenhegoesontosaytotheking,“Aslongasyoufeelthatthere’savalueingivingexpressiontoyourgrief,goahead.Buttherewillcomeapointwhenyourealizeit’sself-indulgence.Atthatpoint,”headded,“youhavetorealizethatthereareotherdesires,otherdutiesyouhaveinlifeandyoucan’tabandonthosejusttokeepongivingexpressiontoyourgrief.”Inotherwords,thereareotherpartsofyourselforotherselvesthathavetokeepfunctioning.

That’swherehisfirstcommentcomesin:toremindthekingthatlossisnothappeningjusttohim.It’suniversal.Thisisoneofthebizarrethingsaboutgrief.Youwouldthinkthatthinkingofthegriefexperiencedbyeverybodyintheworldwouldmakeyourowngriefevenheavier,butitdoesn’t.Itactuallytakesalotofthestingoutasyourealize,“It’snotjustme.Thisisbuiltintothewaythingsare.”

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Thereflectionweoftenrecite—“Iwillgrowdifferent,separatefromallthatisdearandappealingtome”:That’sactuallyonlypartofthereflectiongivenintheCanon.Thatpartofthereflectionisforthepurposeofinspiringasenseofheedfulness,remindingyouthatyouhavetobeskillfulinwhatyoudoandinthedesiresyoufoster,choosingwhichonestofosterandwhichonestoputasidesoasnottoputyourselfindanger.

ButthentheBuddhaencouragesyoutogoonandremindyourselfthatit’snotjustyou,it’severyone:man,woman,andchild;laypersonandordained;now,inthepast,andinthefuture.Everyoneisgoingtogrowdifferent,separatefromallthatisdearandappealingtothem.AstheBuddhasaid,thatinspiresinyouadifferentmotivation,themotivationtogetonthepath.

Inotherwords,youdevelopanewself,aselfthatreallydoeswanttofindawayoutofallthisturmoil,allthisrepeated,repeatedsuffering.Theemotionhereissamvega,thesenseofterroroverunendingrebirthandredeath,andasenseofurgencyinfindingawayout.

Inanothercontext,hecallsthissenseofurgency“renunciategrief”asopposedtohouseholdergrief.Householdergriefiswhenyoudon’tgetwhatyouwantintermsofsights,sounds,smells,tastes,tactilesensations,andideas.Thatsoundsprettyabstractbutitactuallyincludesallourrelationshipsanddealingswiththeworldasawhole.Afterall,that’swhattheworldis:therangeofexperiencethroughthesixsenses.Andtheskillfulcureforthatgrief,theBuddhasays,isnottryingtofindhouseholderhappinessinthesenses.It’stoconceiveadifferentkindofdesire,thedesiretofindatruehappinessinsidethat’snotgoingtoleaveyou,that’snotgoingtochange.Therealizationthatyouhaven’tgotthereyet:Hecallsthatrenunciategrief.

Now,renunciategriefisgoodbecauseit’swhatgetsyouonthepath.Tryingtofindanescapefromhouseholdergriefbysearchingforhouseholderjoyendsupinnothingbutrepeateddisappointment.Ifyougainalittlehouseholderjoy,itscauseswillhavetochange,andthenyou’rebackwithhouseholdergriefagain.Whatyouwantisadependablejoy,whichiswhatrenunciatejoycanprovide.Butthequestforrenunciatejoystartswithrenunciategrief,realizingthatthereisagoalthatcanbeattainedandyouhaven’tgottenthereyet.Thatgriefhastobeencouragedandaccompaniedbypasada:confidencethatthereisawayout,thatyoucanfindthatwayout,andthatyouhavewhatittakestogoalltheway.

Inotherwords,youtaketheconceitthatliesatthecenterofgriefandyoupointitinanewdirection.There’sastorywhereVen.Sariputta’stalkingabouthowhe’dreflectedonedayaftermeditating,“Isthereanythingintheworldthat,inchanging,wouldcausegrieftoariseinmymind?”AndtheresponsewasNo,there’snothing.Ven.Ananda,whowaslisteningin,immediatelyasked,“Well,whatiftheBuddhapassedaway?Wouldn’tyoufeelgriefthen?”Sariputtasaid

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No,he’dreflectthatit’sasadthingthatsomeonewhowassousefulfortheworldhadtopassaway,butitwouldn’tcauseanydisturbanceinhismind.AndAnanda’sreactionwasinteresting.Hesaid,“Ah,it’sasignthatyouhavenomoreconceit.”Becausethat,essentially,iswhatthegriefis:It’sawoundtoyoursenseofselforoneofyoursensesofself.

Butthecureisnottoabandonconceitentirely.Youcan’tdothatrightaway,foryou’dhavenosenseofselftosupportyourpractice.Soyouturnyourconceitintorenunciateconceit:reflectingthatotherpeoplehavefoundawayout,andmanyofthemstartedoutinsituationsworsethanyoursintermsoftheirstrengths,theirweaknesses,theirinnerandouterqualities,buttheywereabletofindtheirwayout.Theycoulddoit,socanyou.

Youtakethatconceitandyouputittoagoodpurpose.Youcreateanothersenseofself,asenseofselfthataimsattruehappiness.Thisisasenseofselfyouwanttoencourageandnourish.Youdevelopasenseofresponsibility,asenseofconfidenceandpurpose.Youcanbegintomarshalallyourdifferentsensesofselfinthisdirectionbecauseit’snotthecasethatonceyou’reonthepathyou’llhaveonlyonedesire.Weliveinaworld,wehavetodealwithpeople,wehavetodealwithsituations,we’vegotbodieswehavetocarefor,we’resocialanimals,sotherearegoingtobeotherdesiresaswell.Butyouhavetolearnhowtomarshalthem.Andreallylookatthem:Whichdesiresarepullingyouawayfromtruehappinessandwhichonesareactuallyhelpfulorattheveryleastnotobstaclesonthepath?

Thatrightthereinvolvesakindofshedding:sheddingthedesiresthatpullyouawayandsheddingtheselvesthatgoalongwiththem.Thisiswhyit’ssometimesverydifficultbecausewehaveastrongidentificationwithcertaindesires,certainaspirations,certainaims.Youhavetoreflect:Ifwedon’tletgoofthesethingsnow,nomatterhowmuchwelikethem,nomatterhowintimatetheyare,ifwedon’tletgoofthemnowwhilewe’refocusedandmindful,thedaywillcomewhenthey’llbepulledawayfromuswhenwe’reinnoshapetoletgoofthematall.It’sgoingtobeasifpartofyouhasbeenrippedoutofyou.

Soyoureflectonthefactthateverybodyhastodothis.It’snotjustyou.Andthatallowsyoutolookatthewholeissueofwhereyou’relookingforhappinessfromabroaderperspective.Thebroaderperspectivehelpstotakealotofthestingaway.

Whereverthere’slossinlife,youhavetoreflectthattheimportantthingshavenotbeenlost.ThestoryofAnandaandSariputtacontinued,anditturnedoutthatSariputtaendedupdyingbeforetheBuddha.Forsomereason,there’saMahayanaversionofthestoryinwhichtheBuddhasayshelosthissenseofthedirections,hewassoupsetthathe’dlostSariputtaandMoggallana.Butthat’sreallyaninsulttotheBuddha.It’spanderingtopeople’sideasoftheimportance

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oftheiremotionstoslanderandbetraytheBuddhainthatway.TheactualstoryisthatAnandawastheonewhowasupsetwhenheheardof

Sariputta’sdeath.HewenttoseetheBuddhaandcomplainedthathehadlosthissenseofthedirectionswhenhelearnedthatSariputtahaddied.AndtheBuddhasaid,“Well,didSariputtatakevirtueawaywithhim?Didhetakeconcentrationaway?Didhetakediscernmentaway?Didhetakereleaseaway?”No,alltheimportantthingsinlifewerestillthere.Theimportantpossibilities,theimportantopportunitieswerestillthere.AndtheBuddhacontinued,“DidIevertellyouthatanythingbornwillneverleaveyou?Thingsthatareborn,thingsthatage,thingsthatgrowill:Doyouthinkthey’llneverleaveyou?”AndAnandahadtosayNo.

Butthereisonethinginlifethatwillneverleaveyou,andthat’srelease.I’vetoldyoumanytimesthatstoryofAjaanSuwat,butitbearsretelling.Itwasmylastvisittohimbeforehepassedaway.Hehadsufferedbraindamageinanaccidentandhesaid,“Youknow,mybrainistellingmeallkindsofweirdthings;allkindsofweirdperceptionsarecomingup.”Attheveryleast,hehadthemindfulnesstorecognizethattheywereweird.Andthenheadded,“ButthatthingIgotfrommymeditation.Thathasn’tleft.”

That’ssomethingyoucandependupon.It’stheonlythingyoucanreallydependon,soyouwanttodevelopthedesiretofindit.Nourishthatdesireandnourishwhateversenseofselfisskillfulinpursuingthatdesire.Ultimatelyyou’llhavetoletthatselfgo,too,butinthemeantimeit’sgoingtogetyouwhereyouwanttogo.Liketheraftacrosstheriver:Onceyou’vecrossedtheriver,you’renotgoingtoneedtheraftanymore.Everybodyknowsthatpartofthestorybutpeopletendtoforgetthatwhileyou’recrossingtheriver,you’regoingtoneedtheraft,andyouwantaraftthat—eventhoughitwon’tlastforever—willlastlongenoughtogetyousafelytotheotherside.You’regoingtoneedtoholdontoeverythingfromrightviewonthroughrightconcentration.Allthesethingsrequireasenseofselfthat’sstrong,competent,willingtolearnfrommistakes,focusedondoingwhat’sskillful,learningtorecognizewhat’snot,admittingwhenyou’vemadeamistake,andwantingtolearnfromitsoyourskillscangrowmoresolid.

Thatmayseemlikeafarawaygoal.That’srenunciategrief:realizingthatthistakestimeandenergy.Butit’stimeandenergywell-spent.Whenyouthinkofallthetimeandenergythathasbeenwastedinyourlifeandyourmanylifetimes,itshouldn’tseemtoomuchtoputenergyintothisgoalthatdoesn’tleadtodisappointment,doesn’tleadtoloss.It’stheonethingthat,whenyouattainitandyouhavetoletgoofthesenseofselfthatgotyouthere,youdon’tletgoofitwithregret.Youletgowithappreciationandjoy.

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Don’tWorry,BeFocusedDecember27,2011

InseveralpassagesintheCanon,theBuddhasaysthatthemainthingtokeepinmindifyousuddenlyfindyourselfapproachingdeathisnottoworry.Now,he’snotsayingdon’tworryaboutthestateofyourmind;ordon’tworry,everythingisgoingtobeokay;ordon’tworry,behappy.He’sbasicallysayingdon’tworry,befocused.Staycenteredandstill,becausethemindisgoingtograbatthingsifithasn’tbeentrained.Ifyou’vebeenresponsibleforvariousthingsinyourlife,yousuddenlyrealizeyoucan’tberesponsibleforthemanymore.Ifyou’reattachedtocertainthings,youhavetoletgo—andfortheuntrainedmindthat’sverydifficult.You’regoingtoflailaround,tryingtograbontothingsthatyoucan’tgrabontoanymore,andtoweighyourselfdownwithconcernsaboutthingsyoucan’tberesponsibleforanymore,whichiswhyyouhavetopracticeaheadoftime.

AsAjaanFuangusedtosay,“Whenyoumeditate,you’reactuallypracticinghowtodie.”Youdropallyourotherconcernsandfocusonthestateofyourmind.Whileyouhaveabreathtofocuson,youfocusonthebreathasaplacetogatherthemind,andthenyoutrytomakesurethatitdoesn’tgostickingitsarmsorheadoutlikeaturtle.

Aturtleisinitsshell,there’safoxoutside,andtheturtleknowsthatifitsticksitsheadout,oritstail,oranyofitslegs,thefoxisgoingtogetit,soithastostayinsideitsshell.Thisisaskillyouhavetopracticebecauseit’ssoeasy—asyoutellyourselfyou’regoingtostaywiththebreath—forothermembersofthemind’scommitteetohaveotherideas.Hereyou’vegotawholehour.Youcouldthinkaboutallkindsofthings,andassoonasyourmindfulnesslapses,oryouralertnesslapses,theretheygo.

Themindgoesoutfortwosortsofreasons.One,isbecauseofmisunderstandingandtwo,something’swrongwithyourenergy.Now,ifit’sacaseofmisunderstanding,themindtellsitselfyouwouldreallyratherthinkaboutthisoryou’vegottothinkaboutthat,whatever.Youhavetolearntoreasonwiththosevoices,totellthem:No,thisisnotthetimeforthat.Nomatterhowcompellingtheworriesmaybe,youhavetolearnhowtosayNo,No,No,wecan’tgothererightnow.

Oneofthebestarguments,whenyou’reworriedabouthowthingscouldget

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reallybad,istoremindyourselfthatyoudon’treallyknowexactlyhowthingscouldgetreallybad,butyoudoknowthat,regardless,you’regoingtoneedmindfulness,alertness,concentration,anddiscernmenttodealwithwhateverthesituationis.Now,whereareyougoingtogetthosequalities?Youcangetthemonlybydevelopingthemthroughthepractice.Thisiswhatyou’redoingrightnow.Hereisyouropportunitytopractice,sothisisthebestwaytoprepareforanythingthat’sgoingtobedifficult.

That’soneexample.You’llhavetofindinyourowncasewhatthebestargumentsareforallyourdifferentdefilements.

Thisisalotofwhatdiscernmentisabout.Sometimespeoplethinkthatdiscernmentissimplylearninghownottothinkatall.Youjustwatcharisingandpassingawayandjustletitariseandpassaway,andthat’sit,butaslongasthereareanybitsandpiecesofmisunderstandinghangingaroundinthemind,themindisgoingtohaveitssurreptitiouswaysofsneakingoutagain.Soyouhavetolookandseewherethemindstillhassomemistakenideasthatwouldcompelittowanttogoafter,say,sensualthinkingorworriesaboutthis,worriesaboutthat.Thenyoulearnhowtocutthoseideasshort.Trytofindsomewaytogostraightforthejugular.Themoreyoucanfindtheheartofwhateverthemisunderstandingis,gostraightforthat,becauseyou’retryingtokilloffyourmisunderstandingsasquicklyaspossiblesoyoucangetbacktoworkonyourconcentrationasquicklyaspossible.That’showyoudealwiththedistractionsthatcomefrommisunderstanding.

Asfortheonesthatcomefromanimbalanceinyourenergy,youhavetodealwiththembytryingtobringtheenergybackintobalance.Sometimesit’saphysicalenergy.Whenthebodyisallwiredandthemindisbouncingaroundlikeapingpongball,you’vegottofindsomeplaceinthebodywheretheenergyissolidandstill.It’sthere.Thebodyhasmanylayersofenergy,manydifferenttypesofenergy,solookforthecounteractingenergy.Whereisthereasenseofstillnessinside?Itmightbeinyourbones.Yourbonesareverystill.They’renotwired.Sothinkaboutyourbones,howtheyjustsitthere,solidandheavy.Trytobreatheinawaythatallowsyoutogetintouchwiththatsenseofheaviness,solidity,toanchoryou.Focusasmuchaspossibleonthat.

Thereareothertimeswhenthedistractionsaremoreduetoalowlevelofenergy.Alotofthedistractionscomebecauseyou’rejusttooweaktokeepthingsinmind.You’vebeenworkinghardallday.Themindfeelsweak.Thebodyfeelsweak,andthoughtsarejustwanderingallovertheplacewithnospecificpurpose.It’snotthatyoufeelarealneedtothinkabouttheseotherthings,it’sjustthatyourenergyissolowthatwhatevercomespoppingupthroughthenervoussystempopsrightintothemindandyoudon’thaveanydefenseagainstit.Soyou’vegottofindwhereyourstrengthis.

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AjaanLeetalksabouttheenergythatcomesupthebackofthespine.Youmightwanttofocusonthatforawhile,orjustmakeupyourmindyou’regoingtofocusononelittlepointinthebodyandjustreallystayrightthereandtrytodevelopthequalityofawarenessthat’slikelisteningveryintentlyforverysubtlesounds.Youdon’tholdanythingback.Youfocusrightinandstayrightin,in,in,in,in.Thatwayyougatherwhateverlittleenergyyouhaveandgiveitacharge.Asyoubringtheseenergiestogether,theycanbegintonourishoneanother.Thisisespeciallyimportantwhenyoufindthatthebodyisweak.Whenyou’reworkingwiththebreathandthebodyisstillfunctioning,youfindthattherearedifferentsourcesofenergyindifferentpartsofthebodyyoucandrawon.

AjaanLeealsotalksaboutbeingsensitivetooutsideenergies.Differentplaceshavedifferentkindsofenergy.Differentspeciesoftreeshavedifferentenergies.Insomeoftheplaceswhereyoumeditate,theenergyishealthyandhelpful;inotherplaces,it’snotsohelpful.Soyouhavetolearnhowtotuneintothelevelsofenergythatareactuallygoingtohelpyou.Iftheenergiesfromoutsidearenotsohelpful,youhavetofillthebodywithyourownenergytohelpkeepthemout.

Buttherewillcometimeswhenyou’rereallysickandtheredoesn’tseemtobeanythinginthebodythatgivesyouanysourceofenergy.That’swhereyou’vegottodependonthemind.

TheBuddhaenumeratedfivekindsofmentalstrength:conviction,persistence,mindfulness,concentration,anddiscernment.You’vegottofindyourenergyhere,andtheenergystartswithyourunderstanding,understandingthatyouractionsmatter.That’swhatconvictionisallabout,andthatcanmakeadifference.Buttherearesomeareaswhereyouractionscan’tmakeadifference.That’swhereyouhavetodropanyworriesyoumighthave.

TheBuddhaliststhreethingsthatpeoplemightbeworriedaboutasthey’reapproachingdeath.Theymightbeworriedabouttheirchildren,theirfamily;ortheymightbeworriedabouttheirparents;ortheymightbeconcernedaboutthepleasuresthey’regoingtohavetoleave.Hereweareinthehumanrealmwithallitshumanpleasures.Youstartthinkingaboutthefactthatyouwon’tsensethesepleasuresanymore:Youwon’tseeanybeautifulsunsets,youwon’tseeanyrockcanyons,youwon’ttasteanydeliciousfood—alltheotherpleasuresyoucanthinkof.Youhavetoputthemaside,andoneofthewaysyoucandealwiththatistorealizethattherearebetterpleasures,onotherlevelsofbeing,upintheheavens.

There’sasuttawheretheBuddhaadvisesapersonwho’scounselingsomeonewho’sdyingtosay,“Well,therearebetterpleasuresthanthat.”Whenyougetthepersonfocusedononelevelofheaven,yousay,“Well,therearebetterpleasuresthanthat.”Whenthepersonisfocusedonthebrahmaworlds,youtellthepersonthateventhosebrahmapleasuresareinconstant.They’renotgoingtolast.

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Brahmasstillhaveself-identity,whichmeanstheystillsuffer,evenifit’sonlyasubtlelevel.Ifthemindisreallyready,itcanactuallyletgoatthatpoint.

Asforthethingsyoumightbeworriedabout,youhavetoremindyourselfthattherecomesapointwhereyouhavetoputeverythingdown.Youcan’tcarrytheworldaround,orastheysayinThailand,youcan’tholduptheskyforever.Whenyouseethatthosethingsarebeyondyou,youhavetorealize,okay,youdidwhatyoucould,that’sasfarasyoucangetwiththatparticularissue,thatparticularresponsibility.Maybesomeoneelsewillpickitup,buteveniftheydon’tpickitup,youcan’tworryaboutthatanymore.Yourworriesaren’tgoingtohelpthesituation.You’vedevelopedtheperfectionsthatcomefromworkingatthattaskandwhat’sleftisthedregs.

AsAjaanLeesaid,it’slikesqueezingjuiceoutofapieceoffruit.You’vegotthejuice,andwhat’sleftofthefruitafteryou’vetakenthejuiceisjustdregs.Thejuiceisthegoodqualityofthemindthatyou’vedeveloped.Don’tforgetthat.Holdontothat.Andtowhateverextentyou’reabletobemindful,tobealert,youjustkeepatit,keepatit,keepatit.Don’tgiveup.Havetheconvictionthatfiresyourpersistence,thatenablesyoutostaymindfulandalert.Andthecontinuityofmindfulnessandalertnessiswhatdevelopsconcentration.Attheveryleast,youwanttostayreallyfocused.Whenyoucanstartmakingdistinctions—thepainthat’scomingin,thesenseofweakness,thesenseofbeingoverwhelmed,whatever—justseethat“whatever”asanobjectofthemind,whereasyourawarenessissomethingelse.

Thisiswherediscernmentcomesinandstartsseeingthedistinctions.There’stheawarenessofthefeeling,butthenthefeelingitselfissomethingelse.Staywiththeawareness.ThisisaconstantthemethroughouttheWildernessTradition.WhenAjaanMahaBoowagavethosetalkstothewomanwithcancer,thatwasoneofthethemesherepeatedoverandoveragain:Learnhowtoseethedistinctionbetweenyourawarenessandthepain.InthetalkwehadfromAjaanChahlastnight,that,again,wasthemessage:Thepainisonething;theawarenessissomethingelse.Learnhowtoseethattheyreallyaredistinct.They’realreadydistinct,it’ssimplythatwe,inourignorance,glomthemtogether.

Now,thiskindofdiscernmentrequiresthatyoubereally,reallystill,toseethesedistinctions.Ifthemindisrunningaround,thedistinctionsaregoingtobeblurred,butwhenyou’rereallystillyouseethatthingsactuallydoseparateoutthatway,andthereasonyoudidn’tseethatwasbecauseyouwererunningpastallthetime.

Sothat’stheenergyofthemind.It’safocusingin,withthedeterminationthatyoudon’twanttocomebackandsufferanymore.Asforanythingthatpullsyouawayfromthatdetermination,thatdistractsyoufromthatdetermination,you’vegottolearnhowtodropit,dropit,dropit.Allthestories,allthe

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narrativesthatyoutellyourselfaboutwhoyouare,whatyourresponsibilitiesare,andwhat’sgoingtohappenintheworld,what’sgoingtohappentoyourfamily,yourfriends,alltheprojectsthatyoutakeon:Youneedaspotinthemindwherethosethingsjustdon’tmatter,wherethequalityofyourmind,thequalityofyourawarenessdoesmatter.So,you’vegottostayfocused.You’vegottolearnhowtodevelopthisqualityofstayingfocused,ofnotlettingyourselfgetdistractedbywhateverstories,ornarratives,orsenseofresponsibilityyoumayhave,orfearthatyou’regoingtomissoutonsomething.Thereallyimportantthingsarerightinhere.

So,aswemeditate,we’rebasicallylearningtwothings:therightwayofunderstandingallthis,andtherightwayofbringingyourenergytobear,todevelopthisfocus.Whentheytalkaboutmakingthemindone,it’sbothamatterofthesinglenessofyourfocusandalsoofmakingthemindyourfirstpriority.Thisisthenumberonethingyouneedtoworkon,thenumberonethingofrealvalue.I’vealwaysfounditstrangethatpeoplesaythatthere’snoessencetotheBuddha’steachings;thattheBuddhataughtthereisnosuchthingasessence.Thiscomesfromamodernacademicprejudiceagainstwhattheycallessentialism.TheyliketoseetheBuddhaasanearlycriticofessentialism,claimingthattheBuddhadeniedtheexistenceofanyessenceinyouorinhisteachingsorinanythingatall.ButtheBuddhanevertaughtthat.Hesaidthatthereisonethingofessence,andthat’srelease:themindwhenit’stotallyfree.Thathastruevalue,essentialvalue.

So,whenyou’remakingyourmindone,it’sbothtobringitalltogetherandtomakethatsenseofreleaseitsoneobject,itsonepriority.That’swhatthispracticeisallabout.

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RecollectingtheDevasSeptember28,2009

Therewasamonkbackintheearlypartofthe20thcentury,KrubaSrivichai,whowaswell-knownallovernorthernThailand.Hesponsoredmanyconstructionprojectsandwasresponsibleforgettinglotsoftemplesbuilt.Bridgeswerebuilt,eventheroaduptoDoiSuthepwasbuiltbyvolunteerlaborunderhisdirection.Someoneonceaskedhimwhyalltheprojectshesethismindtosucceeded.HeansweredthatitwasbecausehechantedtheMahasamayaSuttathreetimeseveryday.Thedevaslikedhearingitandsogavehimtheirbehind-the-sceneshelpwithhisprojects.

DuringmyearlyyearsinThailand,Ihappenedtohearthatstory.ImentionedittoAjaanFuang.Wewereabouttobuildachediatthemonastery,andsoheaskedmetochanttheMahasamayaeveryday,andhechantediteveryday.Eventhoughatthatpointhewasintohis60’s,hewasabletomemorizeit.Anditbecamethebasicchantatthemonastery,thetheorybeingthatthedevaswouldoffertheirhelptotheprojectbecausetheylikedtohearthattheirnameswerestillremembered.

That’swhattheMahasamayais:alistofallthedevaswhocametoheartheBuddhaonenight.Hesaidthatalmostallthedevasintheuniversewerepresent.Nothingmuchhappened,exceptthatatonepointthegarudascameandsawthenagasthere.Theywereabouttoswoopdownonthenagas,buttheBuddhaforgedatrucebetweenthenagasandthegarudas.Sothenagasliketohearthissuttaaswell.

Thisissomethingwecanthinkaboutintermsoftherecollectionofthedevas—whichisameditationexercisethatveryfewpeoplepractice.Butit’sausefulpracticeforseveralreasons.

One,itremindsusofthepossibilitiesoutthere.Peoplesometimeshavevisionswhentheymeditate,andbeingssometimesappearinthevisions.IfyouhadanimpoverishedcosmologylikewehavehereintheWest,youwouldeitherthinkthatyouweregoingcrazyorthatthebeingwaseitheranangeloranagentofthedevil.Buttherearemanymorepossibilitiesthanjustthat.Thereareallkindsofbeingsoutthere.Youdon’twanttoshowthemanydisrespect,becauseifyou’reoutintheforestandbeingsappearinavision,theniftheyreallyarebeings,youdon’twanttooffendthem,fortheycouldcauseyoutrouble.You

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wanttotreatthemwithgoodcourtesy.Ontheotherhand,though,youdon’thavetoregardthemasaforceofevilandyoudon’thavetoregardthemasreliableguides.They’rejustneighborsyouwanttogetalongwith.

ThisisanotherareawheretheBuddhafollowsamiddlepath.Justbecausepeoplehavebecomespiritsdoesn’tmeantheyknowwhatthey’retalkingabout.Andjustbecauseyoucan’tfigureoutwherethesebeingsarecomingfromdoesn’tmeanthatthey’renecessarilyevil.Soyou’repolitewiththem,butyoudon’thavetofearthemorworshipthem.

AjaanMunofferedagoodexampleinthisregard.Oneofhisamazingaccomplishmentswashisabilitytorediscoveragreatdealofthepractice,inmanycasesalmostallonhisown,outintheforest.Anordinarypersonoutaloneintheforestlikethatcouldeasilygocrazy,andyethedidn’t.Hehadalotofvisionsinhismeditation—manymorethanhisteacher,AjaanSao—butherealizeditwasn’tthathewassomehowabettermeditatorthanAjaanSao.Itwasjustthathehadthisparticulartemperamentandtheseparticularproblems.Heregardedthemasproblems,butalsoaspotentials.ThebiographiestellstoriesofhowinhisvisionshewouldseedevaswhowouldcomeandteachhimtheDhamma,tellhimhowheshouldpractice,wherehewaslaxinhisobservanceoftherules,wherehecouldbemoreprecise.

Forexample,there’soneaccountaboutwhenhewasdoingwalkingmeditation.Devasappearedtohimandsaid,“Now,whenyou’redoingwalkingmeditation,don’tgazearound,lookingatthescenery.You’resupposedtobefocusingonyourmind.Sotrytokeepyourgazecontrolled.”Hereflectedthatthatwasagoodinstruction,sohegaveitatryandfoundthatithelpedimprovehismeditation.Thisistheimportantpointabouthowhehandledthosevisions.Itwasn’tthatheacceptedeverythinghewastold.Whateverhesawinthevision,hewouldthentakeitandtestit,andconsiderwhetheritreallywasausefulprincipleintrainingthemind—whetheritwouldmakehimmorescrupulous,makehimmoreobservant,givebetterresults.Inthoseways,thevisionswereagoodthing.Butitwasn’tthecasethatheacceptedeverythingthatcameineveryvision.Otherwise,hewouldhavegonecrazy.

AjaanFuangwasanotherteacherwhotendedtohavealotofvisions.HetoldmemanytimesthetwomainpointsthatAjaanMunhadtoldhimaboutvisions.One,whenyouhaveavision,it’syourprivateaffair.Youcantalkaboutitwithyourteacherbutyoudon’twanttogotalkingaboutitwithotherpeople.Two,youhavetoanalyzeit,toseewhatkindofDhammalessonthevisionisteaching.ThenyouhavetoanalyzeitfurthertofigureoutwhetherthatDhammalessonisuseful.Thisisthesameprincipleweusewitheverythinginthepractice.

Whenyoureadapassageinthetexts,there’sno100%guaranteethateverythinginthePaliCanonwassaidbytheBuddha.Soyouhavetotestit.The

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Buddhahimselfencouragedustotesttheteachings.HisinstructionstoGotami,hisstepmother,andhisinstructionstoUpali,themonkwhowasexpertinVinaya,allboildowntothefactthatifyouwanttofigureoutwhat’sreallyDhammaandreallyVinaya,youhavetolookatwhatkindofbehavioritencourages,andwhatkindofresultscomefromthebehavioritencourages.Ifyoufindthatitinducesmorepassion,ifitmakesyouhardforotherpeopletosupport,orgetsyouentangledwithotherpeople,thenit’snotDhamma,it’snotVinaya.Ifitleadstodispassion,tobeingcontent,tobeingunburdensome:That’sDhamma,that’sVinaya.

Sowhatevercomesupinyourmeditation,whetherit’sanidea,avoiceinyourhead,oravision:Itallhastobetested.Asforvisionsthatdon’tpassthetest,letthemgo.Ifbeingsappearinthevision,youtreatthemwithrespect.Youtreatthemwithgoodcourtesy.Wishthemgoodwill.ThisiswhywechanttheMahasamaya,asanexpressionofcourtesy,andanexpressionofgoodwillforthedevas.Butthehabitofextendinggoodwilltoanyonewhoappearsinavisionisagoodhabittodevelopinanyevent.Whenanyvision,say,ofamemberofyourfamily,anoldfriend,anybodythatyou’vehaddealingswith,appearsinyourmeditation,wishthatpersongoodwill,regardlessofwhatyourhistoryiswiththatperson.Ifastrangerappearsinthemeditation,wishthatpersongoodwill.Thengetbacktoyourmeditationobject.Thisagoodhabitualattitudetodevelop.Ifthebeingappearspowerfulorangry,firstfillyourbodywithgoodbreathenergyandfullawareness,asaformofprotection,andthenspreadgoodwillasanexpressionofharmlessness.

AnotheraspectofrecollectionofthedevasisonethattheBuddharecommendsforpeopleobservingtheuposathaprecepts.Hesaidthatthisuposathawepractice—theeightpreceptsthatlaypeopleobserveonthefullmoonandnewmoonandhalf-moondays—areamongthepracticesthatleadtoheaven.Virtueisoneofthequalitiesthatmakesapersonadeva.Youcanthinkaboutthatintwoways.Oneismakingyouadevaafteryoudieandtheotherismakingyouadevawhileyou’reherenow—inotherwords,liftingthequalityofyourmind.

Anotherqualitythatmakesyouadevaisconviction—inparticular,convictionintheBuddha’sawakening.Thisdoesn’tmeanconvictionjustinthefactthattheBuddhawasawakenedbutalsointhewayheawakened:howhediditbyquestioninghismindandexamininghismindtoseewhatwasskillful,whatwasunskillful,andbyhavingtheheedfulnesstokeepdevelopingwhatwasskillfulandabandoningwhatwasnot.Thatrelentlesscross-questioningheimposedonhimselftorootoutanyunskillfulbehavior,anyattachments:That’showhegainedhisawakening.Tohaveconvictioninthatmeans,ofcourse,thatthat’sthepaththatyouwanttofollow,too.Lookatyourbehaviorcarefully.Doitwitha

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senseofcompassion,doitwithasenseofhonesty,andyou’resuretobenefit.Convictionherealsomeansconvictionintheprinciplethatyoucandevelop

what’sskillful,youcanabandonwhat’sunskillful.ThisisoneofthereasonswhytheBuddhaemphasizedrepeatedlythefactthatstrictdeterminism—theideathateverythingthatyouexperiencehasalreadybeendeterminedbythepast—isaveryunskillfulteaching.Theirony,ofcourse,isthatnowadaysmanypeoplethinkthattheBuddha’steachingonkammaisdeterministic.ButhewenttogreatpainstosayNo.

HetoldthemonksmanytimesabouthisencounterswiththeJains,hisencounterswithotherdeterministicteachers,andhow,stepbystepbystep,herefutedtheirteachings.Itwasrareforhimtosearchoutotherpeopletorefuteinthatway,buthesawtheimportanceofemphasizingtimeandagainthatdeterminismisnotthewaythingswork.Ashesays,practicewouldbetotallypointlessifeverythingwerepredeterminedbythepast.Soconvictionalsofocusesontheprinciplethatrightnowyoucandevelopwhat’sskillfulandabandonwhat’snot.

Anotherqualitythatmakesyouadevaisgenerosity.Thisisthebeginningofrightview—thatthereiswhatisgiven—whichsoundsalmosttooobvioustostate.ButyouhavetorememberthatbackinthetimeoftheBuddhatheissueofgenerositywasacontroversialone.Thebrahmanshadbeensayingforcenturiesthatgenerosityisfruitful,butyouhadtogivetothebrahmansforthegifttobearfruit.Othercontemplativeschoolssprangupinreaction,saying,No,generositydoesn’tbearanyfruitatall,eitherbecausepeople’sbehavioristotallydeterminedbythepast,orbecausetheyjustgetsnuffedoutafterdeath,withnothingleftover—whichmeansthatitdoesn’treallymatterwhetheryou’regenerousornot,forgenerositybearsnolong-termrewards.

SowhentheBuddhaassertedattheverybeginningofmundanerightviewthatgenerosityexists,thatwhatisgivenexists,hewasmakingtwostatements.Oneisthatwedohavefreedomofchoice;andtwo,ouractionsreallyarefruitful.Thereisalong-termbenefitthatcomesfromgiving.Inotherwords,givingmaterialthings,givingyourtime,givingyourenergy—givingisgood.

Afourthqualitythatmakesyouadevaislearning.ThismeanslisteningtotheDhamma,readingtheDhamma,andmemorizingwhatyoucan.ThisisespeciallyimportantinourmodernculturebecausethereissomuchinmodernmediathatgoesagainsttheDhammaandtheyhavesomanywaysofsneakingtheirmessagesintoyourhead.Allthosecommercialjinglesthatseemtobejinglingandjanglingaroundyourheadwhenyou’remeditatingweredesignedtodojustthat:togetstuckinyournerves.

Oneofthebasicprinciplesofadvertisingisthat“Truehappinessis

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impossibletofind,soyou’dbetterfindyourhappinesswiththestuffwe’reselling.”Ittakesastrongeffortnottogiveintothatmessage.ThisiswhyweneedtolistentotheDhammafrequently,toreadtheDhammafrequently,todoourbesttounderstanditandtobeartheminmind.Readingthesethingsdoesn’tmeanjustbelievingthem.Youthinkaboutthem,youcontemplatethem,youquestionthem,andthentrytoputthemintopracticetoseewhatdevelopsasaresult.Buttheessentialmessageisthesameallthewaythrough:thathowyoudevelopyourmindisofutmostimportance.Theimportantthingsintheworldarenotwhatsomeoneelseisdoingsomeplaceelse.What’simportantiswhatyou’redoingrighthere,rightnow.

Thisleadstothefifthqualitythatmakesyouadeva,whichisdiscernment.Now,eventhoughnotalldevasarereliableguidesallthewayalongthepath,theystillhaveatleastsomediscernment,atleastsomeinsightintowhat’sskillfulandwhat’snot.That’showtheygotwheretheyare.Thecentralpointinthisdiscernmentisseeingclearlywhatworksandwhatdoesn’twork,seeingclearlyhowcauseandeffectareconnected,seeingclearlyhowthingsariseandpassawayinthemindsoyoucangetasenseofwhat’sacause,what’saneffect,what’sconnected,what’snot.Thatwayyoucanfocusonthecausesofsufferingsoyoucanputanendtothesuffering.Butagainyouhavetolookinyourownmindtolearnthesethings.Youcan’tdependonthedevastoteachyou.

TheCanoncontainssomeinterestingstoriesaboutinteractionsbetweenmonksanddevas.Oneisaboutafemaledevawhoseesayoungmonkrightafterhisbathinariver.He’sstandingonthebankoftheriverwearingonlyhisunderrobe,andshe’sattractedtohim.Shecomesdownandsays,“Hey,you’rewastingyourtime.Waituntilyou’reold.Thenyoucanbecomeamonk.”Hesays,“No,I’mnotwastingmytime.I’mputtingmytimetogooduse.”Aconversationensuesbetweenthetwoofthem,withalotofPaliwordplayaroundtheword,“time,”andshe’sconfused.

SoheofferstotakehertoseetheBuddha.Shesaysshe’sneverbeenabletogetintoseetheBuddhabecausethedevasaroundhimaretoopowerful.Sohetellsher,“I’llseewhatIcandotogetyouin.”SohegoestotheBuddha,withherfollowinginhiswake.TheBuddhastartsteachinghersomereallyhighlevelDhammaandshedoesn’tunderstandaword.Sohebringsthelevelofhisteachingdownbitbybit,andfinally,again,hesayssomethingveryrefined,veryprofoundaboutthetrainingofthemind,andthenasksher,“Whatdoyouunderstand?”Shesays,“Iunderstandthatgivingisgood.Virtueisgood.”That’sasfarasshewasabletoget.

Soyouhavetowatchoutfordevaslikethat.Somedevashavealittlebitofdiscernmentthatdoesn’tgoveryfar.ThisistrueevenoftheBrahmas.Inanothersuttaamonkgainsavisionofsomedevasinhismeditation,soheasksthem,

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essentially,“Wheredoesthephysicaluniverseend,howfardoesitgo?”Thedevassay,“Wedon’tknow,butthere’sanotherlevelofdevasaboveus.Maybetheyknow.”Sohemeditatessomemoreandheseesthosedevas.Heasksthemandtheyreply,“Wedon’tknoweither,butthere’sanotherlevelaboveus.”Sohegetssentup,levelbylevel,upthroughthedevabureaucracy.Finallyhegetstoaveryhighlevelofdevasandagainasksthemwherethelimitsofthephysicaluniverseare.Theydon’tknow,either.“But,”theysay,“thereisthegreatBrahmaandsometimeshewillappearinagreatflashoflight.Soifaflashoflightappearsandyouseehim,youcanaskhim.”Finally,asthemonkmeditatessomemore,thegreatflashoflightappears,andthere’sthegreatBrahma.SothemonkgoesuptotheBrahmaandasks,“Howfardoesthephysicaluniversego?Wheredoearth,water,wind,andfireend?”AndthegreatBrahmasays,“IamthegreatBrahma,knowerofall,seerofall,creatorofeverythingthathasbeenandwillbe.”

NowifthishadbeentheBookofJob,themonkwouldhavesaid,“Okay,Iunderstand.You’remuchgreaterthanIam.”Andhewouldhaveleftitatthat.ButthisisnottheBookofJob.It’sthePaliCanon.Themonksays,“That’snotwhatIaskedyou.Howfardoesthephysicaluniversego?”ThegreatBrahmasays,“IamthegreatBrahma,knowerofall,seerofall,creatorofall,fatherofallthateverhasbeenandwillbe.”Themonkagainsays,“That’snotwhatIaskedyou.”FinallythegreatBrahmatakeshimbytheelbow,pullshimaside,andsays,“Look,Idon’tknow.ButmyretinueherethinksthatIknoweverything.It’dbeagreatdisappointmentforthemtohearthatIdidn’tknowsomethinglikethis.”SohesendsthemonkbackdowntotheBuddha.TheBuddhatellshim,“Youaskedthewrongquestion.Thequestionis,‘Wheredoesthephysicaluniversefindnofooting?’”Andthereplyisconsciousnesswithoutsurfaceorconsciousnesswithoutfeature:theconsciousnessoftheawakenedone.SoeventhegreatBrahmahaslimitsonhisdiscernment.

Butthisdoesn’tmeanthatthedevasareallignorant.There’sanotherstoryaboutamonklivingintheforest.Hegoesdowntoapondofwatertobatheandbendsovertosniffalotusgrowinginthepond.Adevaappearssuddenlyandsays,“Hey,youjuststolethescentofthatflower.”Andthemonkbasicallysays,“Oh,comeon,that’snotstealing.”Thedevareplies,“Look,foranyonewhoreallywantstopurifyhismind,eventheslightestfaultshouldappearaslargeasacloud.”Inthosedays,acloudthatcoversthewholeskywasthelargestthingimaginable.Themonkcomestohissensesandreplies,“Well,gee,Iguessyou’reright.Thankyouforinformingme.Andifyouseememakingothermistakeslikethatagain,pleaseletmeknow.”Butthedevasays,“I’mnotyourservant.Youshouldlookafteryourself.”Andshedisappears.

Sovisionslikethismighthappeninyourmeditation.Itdoesn’thappenonlyinAsia.Iknowpeoplewho,especiallyhereintheSouthwest,havehadlotsof

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visionswhentheygotoplaceslikeBryce,Zion,orArches—spiritsofIndians,thecoyotegod,alotofspiritscorrespondingtoNativeAmericanlegends.SomeofthesemeditatorshavenoknowledgeofNativeAmericanlegends,yettheyseemanyofthesamethings.Soit’sgoodtorememberthebasicprincipleforhowyoutreatdevas.Yourecollecttheirvirtues.Youtreatthemwithrespect.Andthenyoutakewhatyoulearnfromthemandyouputittothetesttoseeifitreallyisconducivetotrainingthemind.

Asfortherecollectionofthevirtuesofthedevas,that’susefulifyouwanttoraisethelevelofyourmindhereinpresentlife.Youdon’thavetowaituntilyoubecomeadeva.AjaanSuwatdidmakeastatementonce,sayingthatwhenyou’rethinkingaboutyournextlife,don’tmakeadeterminationtocomebackasahumanbeing.Thehumanworldisgoingtogothroughalotofdifficulties.It’dbebettertotakerebirthasadeva.Thebeliefthatdevascan’tpracticeisnottrue.Therearelotsofdevaswhopractice.IftheygettheopportunitytoheartheDhamma,theycanevengainthenobleattainments.

Butforrightnow,focusonthosedevavirtuesrighthere.Howdoyoumakeyourmindadevamindrightnow?Howdoyoumakeyouractionsdevaactions?Focusrightnowonconviction,generosity,virtue,learning,anddiscernment,regardlessofwhetheryouhavevisionsornot.Andthatwayrecollectionofthedevasreallycanraisethelevelofyourmind.

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RecollectionofHellFebruary9,2010

We’resittingherefabricating,puttingtogetherasenseofthebody,puttingtogetherfeelings,perceptions,morefabrications,evenputtingtogetherourconsciousnessofthesethings.It’ssomethingwedoallthetime.Andthethingsweputtogetherarenottotallymind-made.Therawmaterialscomefromourpastactions.Sometimesthosematerialsaregoodandsometimestherangetheyofferisprettylimited.Butthemindhasthisobsessiontokeeponfabricating,keeponmakingthesethings.Theylastforawhile,andthenyouhavetomakenewones,scroungingaroundforwhateveryoucanfindtogiverisetoasenseofpleasure.Wegoforthepleasurebutdeepdowninstinctivelyweknowthatit’snotgoingtolast,whichiswhywetendtogobbleourpleasureswhentheycome,thencastaroundtoseewhatwecandoeithertomaintaintheoneswe’vegotortocreatenewonestogobbledownnext.

Thepleasurewegetoutofthisprocessiswhatkeepsusgoing.Andoursenseofcontrolleadstooursenseofpossession:thatwehavetheabilitytocreatethesepleasuresandtoconsumethem.Aslongastherawmaterialsaregood,we’redoingfine.

Likerightnow:Therearemanygoodaspectstowhatwe’vegotgoingonaroundoutsideus.Therainmaybecold,butthere’ssomethingaboutarainydayorrainynightthattendstofocusthemindinside.Allaroundusoutsideiswet,soinstinctivelywelookinsidetoseewhatpotentialswehavehereforsecurityandwarmth.Andallofthiswouldbeokayifitweren’tforthefactthatit’ssoprecarious.Itdependssomuchontherangeofmaterialsthatareavailableandyetthatrangecanchangesoquicklyandradically.

ThiseveningIwasreadingapieceonGermanyintheearly1930s.Peopleweresaying,“Oh,dictatorshipcouldn’thappenhere.”ThatwasjustayearbeforeHitlertookpower.Andformanyofthepeoplewhoweresayingthat,thingsturnedverybad,veryquickly.Therangeofoptionsopentothemsuddenlynarroweddownhorribly.Sothereispoliticalchange,economicchange,earthquakes,storms,illness,death.

Deathisthemostradicalchange,becauseyouhavenoideawhereyou’llgetthrownthenexttimearound.Thegroundcandisappearfrombeneathyourfeet.Andyetthemindkeepsgoingwiththatinsatiabledriveformorefeeding,more

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fabricating.That’swhywegetrebornorexperiencerebirth.Wekeeplookingformore.Wekeepcravingthingstofeedon,toclingto,tofabricate,toturnintothekindoffoodweenjoy.Yettherearetimeswhenwesuddenlyfindourselvesinplaceswheretheoptionsarenotappetizingatall.Iftheuncertaintyofthehumanrealmisn’tscaryenough,youcanthinkabouttheBuddha’sdescriptionsofhell:allthosehellbeingstryingtofabricatesomehappinessoutofhorrendoussurroundings.

Whatseemsparticularlyhorribleaboutthehellrealmsisthattheyholdoutaglimmerofhopeforhappiness.Thinkoftheglowingironhellwithanopendooronthefarside.Everybodyisrunningthroughfire,theirbodiesaflame,togettothedoor,hopingtogetout.Butrightastheygettothedoor,itslamsshut.Thenadooropensonanotherwall,sotheygorunningthroughthefiretogettothatdoor,which—justastheygettoit—alsoslamsshutintheirface.Thiskeepsupuntilfinallytheydogetthroughoneofthedoors,anditturnsoutthatthedoorleadstoahellofshit.Andthingsjustgetprogressivelyworse.

Therearehellswherethehellguardiansfinallypullyououtwithahook.Youthinkyou’veescaped.Theyevenplaynicecopandaskwhatyouwant.Yousayyou’rehungryandthirsty.Yourfirstthoughtisyourneedtofeed.Sotheylaugh,pourmoltencopperintoyourmouth,andthenthrowyoubackin.

Thesearesomeofthepossibleplaceswherefabricationcanleadyou—thisneedwehavetokeepturningtherawmaterialsofexperienceintoform,feelings,perceptions,fabrications,consciousness.Soithelpsyourealizethatwhenthingsaregoingwell,youwanttofabricateawayout.Becauseformostofus,whatdowedo?Weplayaround.Thingsgetcomfortableandweliketoplay,justfabricatingforthepurejoyoffabrication.Thisiswhatmusicandartareallabout.Fabricatingpurelyforentertainment,withoutrealizingthatthefabricationswemakeareakindofkamma.Ifweneglecttheopportunitytocreatesomethinggoodandsolidoutofthesefabrications—inotherwords,creatingapaththatleadstosomethingsecure—thenthoseperiodsofplay,thoseperiodsofjoy,arejustlittleinterludes.Theycansuddenlycomecrashingdown.

Whichmeansthatwhenthingsaregoingwell,wehavetobeheedful.We’vegotthisopening.We’vegotthisopportunity.Wewanttomakethebestofit.Evenwhenthingsaren’tgoingwell,wewanttomakethebestofwhatwedohave,tofigureoutwhat’sthemostskillfulpathtomakeoutofthesepotentials.

TheBuddhasaysthemostskillfulthingwecanfabricateisthenobleeightfoldpath,likewe’redoingrightnow:focusingonthebreath.That’saform,oneoftheelementsofform.Youdirectyourthoughtstothebreathandevaluatethebreath:That’satypeoffabrication.Youholdtheperceptionofbreathinmind,allthissoyoucancreateasenseoffeelingthat’spleasant,easeful.Youwanttospreadthatthroughoutthebody.Thenyou’vegotaconsciousnessthat’s

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awareofallthis.Thefabricationofmindfulnessistryingtokeepyouhere.That’swhatmindfulnessis:akindoffabrication,remindingyouwhattodo.Alertnessisalsoafabrication,asistheardencywithwhichyoutrytodoallofthisskillfully.You’retryingtoturntheseaggregatesintofactorsofthepath—rightmindfulnessandrightconcentration—awayoutofallthepotentialheavensandhellstowhichtheaggregates,theseprocessesoffabrication,canleadyou.

Eventhedevelopmentofdiscernmentinrightviewisakindofperception.Youapplytheperceptionsofinconstancy,stress,andnot-selftotheaggregates.First,asyou’resittingheretryingtocreateasenseofeaseforthebreathtogetthemindconcentrated,anythingelsewouldcountasadistraction.Whatever’sadistraction,trytoseeitasstressful,inconstant,andnot-self.Thathelpsyoutoweanyourselfawayfromtheattractionsofplayingaroundwiththosedistractions.

Ultimately,oncetheoutsidedistractionshavebeendealtwith,youstartturningaroundtoapplythesameperceptionstothestateofconcentrationyou’vegotgoinghere.Yourealize:Hereareaggregatesaswell.Andalthoughthestressmaybesubtle,it’sstillthere.Theinconstancymaybesubtle,butit’sstillthere—whichmeansthatthesethingsarenottotallyunderyourcontrol.They’renottheultimatehappiness.

Asyoukeepthatperceptioninmindandconvinceyourselfofitstruth,that’swhenthemindbeginstoinclinetowardthedeathless.Itperceivesthedeathlessasadesirablegoal,andthatperceptioncanhelpopenthewaytoanactualexperienceofthedeathless.Yeteventhen,themindhasthistendency:Itlikestokeepfabricating,soitcancreateasenseofpassionaroundthedeathlesswhenitexperiencesit.That’swhytherearedifferentlevelsofawakening.Thelowerlevelsstillhaveasenseofpassion.Thereisstillsomefabricationgoingonaroundtheperceptionofthedeathless.Thisiswhy,whentheBuddhadescribesthecontemplationoftheaggregates,firstthere’s:“Allfabricationsareinconstant.Allfabricationsarestressful.”Thenthere’s:“Alldhammasarenot-self.”Theworddhammahereappliestounfabricatedphenomena,likethedeathless,aswell.Whateverpassionyoufabricateforthat,youhavetolearnhowtoletgoofthat,too.Onlythencantherebefullawakening.

Soitispossibletousetheseaggregatesasapathtoatrulysafeplace.Someoftheepithetsfornibbana—haven,harbor,refuge,security—emphasizeitsaspectasgenuinelysafe.Withoutthatsafety,themindjustkeepsgobblingthingsdownandtryingtofabricatemore.Ifitcan’tfindgoodthingstogobbledown,itjuststuffshorriblethingsinsideitself.Ittakeswhateveritcanget.Ifitcan’tgetgoodthings,ittakespainandgobblesdownthepain,fabricatingevenworsepainforitself.Itgobblesdownmoltencopperandshit.That’sourtendency.Wewanthappiness,butwetakewhateverpotentialswe’vegot,andweturntheminto

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suffering,weturnthemintostress.Weturnthemintomisery,allbecauseofourignorance.Andthenwegobblethemdown.

Onlywhenwelearnhowtolookdirectlyatthisprocessoffabricationanddoitwithknowledge,understandingwherethere’sstress,what’scausingthestress,whatcanbedonetoputanendtoit:Onlywhenwebringthatknowledgetotheprocesscanitbecomeapaththatreallydoesleadawayfromstressandsuffering,doesreallyleadtosecuritywherethere’snomorepotentialforanymorestress.

WhentheBuddhadescribedthosehellsthatcanopenuptousifwedon’treachthatsecurity,hesaidattheendofthedescriptionthathehadn’theardthesethingsfromotherpeople.He’dseenthemdirectlyforhimself.They’rereallyoutthere:thesehorrendousstatesofsufferingwecanfallinto.Andallourcontinualobsessionrightherewithfabricatingandfeedingandfabricatingmoreandfeedingmoreiswhatcanleadusthereifwe’renotcareful.

Sonowthatthingsaregoingrelativelywell,youdon’twanttojustfoolaroundandplay,lookingforfun.Yourealizethatthere’sworktobedone.Remembertheoldstoryoftheantandthegrasshopper.Duringthesummer,thegrasshopperjustsangandsang,andtheantkeptworking,working,workingaway.Thegrasshopperkeptsaying,“Whyareyouworking?It’ssoniceout.Let’sjustsing.”Andtheantreplied,“Winteriscoming.Winteriscoming.”Thegrasshoppersaid,“Well,I’lltakewinterwhenitcomes.I’drathersingrightnow.”Then,ofcourse,whenthewintercame,theantswentunderground.Theyhadfoodandtheysurvived.Thegrasshoppersalldiedofthecold.

Soasyou’refabricatinghere,remember:Meditationisnotjustanopportunitytosingandtohaveagoodtime.We’vegotthiswholehourhere;we’vegotwholedaystomeditate.Wedon’tknowhowmuchlongerthesedaysaregoingtolast.Theworldisaveryprecariousplace.Ourkammaisveryprecarious.Youhavenoideawhatgoodandbadthingslurkinthedarkpoolofyourpastkamma.Butwhatyoudoknowisthatyou’vegotthisopportunityrighthere,rightnow.Sodoyourbesttofabricateitintoapath,apaththatreallygoessomeplacesafe,secure—arefugewherethere’snolurkingdangeratall.

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SkillsoftheDhammaWheelNovember10,2009

EverytimewechanttheSuttaonSettingtheDhammaWheelinMotion,IliketolookattheDhammawheeluponthewall,theonemyfathermadeyearsback:It’sgoingon13yearsnow.It’sgottwelvespokes,whichsymbolizeoneofthepassagesinthesuttawheretheBuddhagoesthroughthefournobletruthsandthethreetypesofknowledgeforeachtruth:knowingthetruth,knowingthedutyappropriatetothattruth,andthenknowingthatyou’vecompletedthatduty.Fourtruths,threelevelsofknowledge,threetimesfouristwelve:That’sthewheelintheDhammawheel.Anditshouldformthebasicframeforthewaywelookatourpractice.It’showweshouldframeourattentiontothings.

TheBuddhanevertaughtbareattention.Hetalkedaboutonlytwokindsofattention:appropriateandinappropriate.Whenyouattendtothings,it’snotreallybare.Thefactthatyou’renoticingsomething,payingattentiontosomething,meansyouhaveapurposeinmind.Evenifyoudecidethatyou’regoingtopayattentiontowhateverpopsup,regardless,therearestillsubtlechoicesgoingon.Withmanythingshappeningallatonce,youcan’thelpbutpayattentiontoonethingratherthananother,andyoucan’thelpdoingsomethingaboutwhatyou’repayingattentionto.Thereisapurpose,thereisanintention,thereisanactivitythatgoesalongwithyourattention.It’simportant,asameditator,thatyoubeveryclearaboutthis.Otherwise,ifyouthinkyou’vereachedbareattentionandyou’retoldthatthat’satasteofawakening,atasteofthedeathless,atasteoftheunconditioned,youstoplooking.Youdon’tdigdeepertosee,“Waitaminute,what’sgoingonhere?Isthereanelementofintentionhere?Isthisfabricatedorisitnot?”

InoneofAjaanMahaBoowa’sDhammatalkshetellsyoutotesteverything,tobewillingtodestroyeverythingthatcomesup,becausewhateverisreallytrueandreallyunconditionedisnotgoingtobetouchedbyyoureffortstodestroyit.Nowtheword“destroy”heremeansthatyoulearnhowtotakeitapart,questionit,seeifyoucanfigureouthowit’sformed,howitcanbemadetocomeandhowitcanbemadetogo.Thisgoesforeverything,includingtheactofattentionitself.

There’salwaysgoingtobeanelementofintentionintheactofattention.WhentheBuddhaplacesattentionintheseriesofconditionsindependentco-

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arising,it’sunderthecategoryof“name,”mixedupwithcontactandintentionandperceptionandfeeling,andallofthesefactorshavefabricationunderlyingthem.Sothere’salotgoingonevenwhenyouthinkyou’rejustgivingbareattentiontosomething.Oneofyourtasksasameditatoristonoticethat,toferretitoutandtolearnhowtoapplyappropriateattentiontowhat’sgoingon.Whatmakesitappropriateisthattheperceptionsrelatedtoitareframedintermsofthefournobletruthsandthedutiesappropriatetothosetruths—or,youmightsay,theskillsappropriatetothosetruths.

That’sbecausethey’retheactivitiestheBuddhaencouragesyoutoapplytothedifferenttruths.Stressorsuffering,hesaid,issomethingthatyouhavetocomprehend.Tocomprehendmeanstoknowitsothoroughlythatyoudevelopdispassionforit.Weusuallydon’tthinkthatwe’repassionateforstressandsuffering,butwereallyare.Thethingswegenerallyarepassionateaboutcarryalotofstresswiththem,butwejustchoosetoignorethatfact.Soanimportantpartofthepracticeistomaketheefforttoseehowthesethingswelove,thesethingswe’repassionateabout,havethatsidetothem:thatstressful,sufferingside.Thenwekeepfocusingonthatstressfulsideuntilwecandevelopasenseofdispassionforit.

Thedutywithregardtothecauseofstressistoletitgo.Lettinggoisalsoaskill.Youdon’tjusttossthingsoutwilly-nilly.Youlooktosee:Whereisthecraving,whereistheignorancethatunderliesthatstress?Asyoudothis,youhavetolearnhowtodiscernwhichdesiresyouwanttoholdontoforthetimebeing,andwhichonesyouwanttoletgoof—becausethepathincludesdesireaspartofrighteffort,andthat’ssomethingyoushoulddevelop.Thepathissomethingyouwanttodevelopuntilit’sserveditsfunction,andthenyouletitgo.Thatrequiresdiscernment.

Thedutywithregardtothecessationofstressandsufferingistorealizeit,toverifyit,tobearwitnesstoit,i.e.todirectlyexperienceit.Inotherwords,youexperiencewhatitmeanstoletgoofcraving,todevelopdispassionforcraving.This,too,isaskill.Youhavetolearnhowtowatchyourselfletgoofaparticularcravingandnoticethatitreallydoestakeaburdenoffthemind.Forthemostpart,wedon’tnoticethesethings.Whenwedroponecraving,we’requicktogotoanotherone.Infact,that’susuallywhywedropthefirstone:Wethinkwe’vefoundsomethingbettertocrave,somethingmoreinteresting,somethingnew,somethingintriguing.Yougettiredofwhatyou’vebeenholdingonto,andsoyougograbbingatsomethingnew.There’sverylittletimetostopandnotice:Whatisitliketoletgoofcraving?Inwhatwaydoesitdecreasesuffering?

Atthesametime,therearethingstodevelop.That’sthepath,startingwithrightviewandgoingonthroughrightconcentration.Andalthoughthereisastageattheveryendofthepracticewhereyouletgoofthepathaswell,you’ve

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gottodevelopitinthemeantime.Thepurposeoflookingatthingsinthiswayistohaveaframeworkforhow

you’regoingtounderstandyourlife,andhowyoucanusethatunderstandingtofreeyourselffromsuffering.TheBuddhawantsyoutodroptheframeworkwhereyou’relookingatyourself,yourself,yourselfallthetime:what’sme,what’smine,whatI’vegotthatIdon’tlike,whatI’vegotthatIdolike.Heasksyoutoputthoseconceptsasideandusetheseotherconceptsasawayofframingthings,becausethetwoframeworkshavedifferentimperatives.Ifthere’sa“me”thatyouhavetoshoreup,thatyouhavetolookafter,thenitcarriestheimperativeoffiguringouthowtofeedthisme,howtochoosefoodforit,howtomakesureyouhaveagoodstoreoffood,andhowtomakesurethatthatstoreoffoodisgoingtolast.Theseareallimperativesofgetting,getting,andgetting.Whentheworldgoeswell,everythingissmooth,theteethonthat“getting”aren’ttoosharportoovicious.Butwhenthingsgetreallydifficult,whenresourcesgetscarce,you’vegottowatchoutbecausetheimperativetofeed—physicallyandemotionally—isnotalwaysafriendlyone.

Ifthat’stheframeworkforourattentionandtheimperativesthatwe’reactingon,thingscangetprettynasty.SotheBuddhasaystolookatthingssimplyasstress,itscause,itsending,andthepathofpracticeleadingtoitsending.Learntodepersonalizeeverything.Thatcarriesadifferentsetofimperatives,afriendliersetofimperatives.Insteadoftryingtopushawayyoursufferings,youtrytounderstandthem.Whenyoucan’tunderstandthem,youdevelopthepathtomakethemindreallyquiet,still,alert,untilit’sinapositiontoseethedifferencebetweenthestressandthecauseofstress,soyoucanapplytheappropriateduty.

It’slikegoingintoaroomwherethere’salotofsmoke.Youdon’tputoutthesmoke.Youtrytoputoutthefirethat’scausingthesmoke.Ifyougoaroundputtingoutthesmoke,thefirejustkeepschurningoutmoreandmoresmokeallthetime,andyounevercometotheendofit.

Thesamewiththemind:Oneofourproblemsiswedon’treallyunderstandwhattodowithstress.Wetrytoabandonit,anditjustwon’tbeabandoned.Themorewetrytoshakeitoff,themorefirmlyitstickstous,burningusallthetime.Wehavetoworkourwaythroughthesmoketofindthefire:That’swhatyouputout.That’swhatyouletgoof:thecauseofstress.Sofocusonlearninghowtodistinguishthesethings,inthesamewayyouhavetodistinguishbetweenthekindofcravingthatcausesstressandthekindofcravingordesirethatdevelopstheskillfulfactorsofthepath.

Allofthisrequiresskill.Infact,onewayoftranslatingignorance,avijja,is“lackofskill.”Theknowledgethatreplacesit,vijja,isskilledknowing,whichcomesfromhavingdevelopedtheskills.Notethatthereisadoingandagradualperfection,agradualmastery,ofthesedifferentimperatives.Whenyou’vegotthe

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frameworkfirmlyinmind,thenwhenthingscomeup,youcanperceivethemintermsofthatframework,andthatwayyouknowwhattodowiththem.Asyoukeeptryingtodotherightduty,yougetbetterandbetteratit,untilyouhaveitcompletelymastered.

Inmanyways,eventhoughit’salltoooftenoverlooked,themostessentialpassageinthesutta,theheartofthesutta,isthewheel.BackintheBuddha’stime,that’swhattheywouldcallthecombiningoftwovariables:notatable,butawheel.Youseethisinthelegaltexts,liketheVinaya.Therewouldbemanypossiblefactorsforanoffense,sothey’drunthroughallthevariouspermutations,aroundthecircletoshowtheverdictineachpossiblecase.Inthiscase,therearefourtruthsandthreelevelsofknowledge,sothesuttajustgoesaroundthelist,onebyonebyone,untilit’sgonethroughallthetwelvepermutations.Thisiswhyit’scalledtheDhammawheel,andwhywehavethewheelofDhammawithtwelvespokesonourwall.It’salsoaconvenientsymboltomakeyouthinkaboutthecirclethatgoesaroundtherimofthewheel.It’stheframeworkforhowwewanttoperceivethings,andtounderstandwhatyou’vegottodoonceyouunderstand.Whenyouhaveanexperience,youknowwheretoputitintheframeworkofthefournobletruths,soyouknowwhattodowithit.

Thisisthekindofattentionwe’retryingtodevelop.TheBuddhawouldoftensayatthebeginningofaDhammatalk:Paycarefulattention.Thisdidn’tmeanjusttolistencarefully.Italsomeanttobringtherightframework,therightframeworkofthoughtandquestioning,toseehowyoucangetthemostoutofwhathehastosay.Thenyoutakethatframeworkandapplyittoyourpractice.

Forinstance,asyou’resittinghererightnow:Whereinthebreathisstress?Whatqualityofmindcanyoubringtothebreathtoalleviatethatstress—tohelpputanendtoit,toundercutthecauseofstress?Evenjustthinkingintheseverybasictermsofhowyoudealwiththebreathisthebeginningoftheframeworkforthefournobletruths.

Thenasyouworkwiththebreath,asyougetmoreandmoreskilledatit,youcantaketheskillsandturnaroundandstartapplyingthemtothemind,tothedifferenteventsinthemind.Youfindthatthisframeworkwilltakeyoufar.That’swhytheBuddhasaidthatthemostimportantinternalqualityforawakeningisappropriateattention.

Soseeifyoucanbringthiswayoflookingatthingstobearrighthere,rightnow,atthebreath.Startgettingsomepracticeinmasteringthoseskills.

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TheParticularsofYourSufferingSeptember22,2011

IonceknewajournalistinBangkokwhoaskedmewhyBuddhismfocusessomuchonsuffering.Hesaid,“Idon’thaveanysufferinginmylife.Whyallthetalkaboutsuffering?”SoIaskedhimifhehadanystressinhislifeandhesaid,“Ohyeah,lotsandlotsofstress.”Andheproceededtotellmeallthedifferentthingsinhisfamilyandhisworkthatwerestressinghimout.

Soregardlessofwhatyoucallit,sufferingorstress,ifyou’renotanarahant,you’resufferingfromit.Andit’sgoodtorecognizethateverybodyissufferinginthesameway.Therearedifferencesintheparticulars,butdeepdowninsideeverybodyhasthatsamesenseofbeingburdened,beingovercome:pushedinwaysthey’drathernotbepushed,weigheddowninwaysthey’drathernotbeweigheddown.

AstheBuddhasaid,whenyoufacedukkha—sufferingorstress—youhavetworeactions.Oneisasenseofbewilderment:Whyisthishappeningtome?Andthesecondisasearch:Isthereanyonewhoknowsawayoutfromthissufferingandstress?

TheBuddhatookthatsenseofbewildermentveryseriously.Theotherteachingsgiveninhistimethathecriticizedthemostweretheonesthathesaidleavepeoplebewildered:teachingsthatwouldsaythere’snothingyoucandobecauseyouhavenopowerofactionorchoice.That,hesaid,leavesyouunprotected,leavesyoubewildered.Ortheteachingthatyourlifeistotallydependentonthedecisionsofsomecreatorgod:That,too,leavesyouunprotectedandbewildered.Ortheteachingthateverythingisrandom,there’snopatterntowhyyousuffer,sonomatterhowhardyoutrytofigureitout,there’snopatterntobediscerned:Thatleavesyoubewilderedandunprotectedaswell,foritleavesyouwithnowayofmakingadecisionastowhatyoushouldandshouldn’tdotodealwithyoursuffering.

Soheofferedhisteachingsasaidsbothinovercomingbewildermentandinfindingprotection,i.e.,protectionfromthesuffering.Oneofthefirstthingshehasyoudoistrytotakethepersonalstingoutofyoursuffering.Thisisveryhardforpeopletodo.We’reobsessedwiththeparticularsofoursuffering.I’venoticedthatpeoplecangooverandoverandoveragaintheparticularsofwhythey’resufferingandwhytheirsufferingisspecial.This,ofcourse,keepsthemmore

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boundtotheirsuffering.Soit’simportantthatyoulookintowhyyoumayhavethatfeeling:whatsort

ofspecialattentionyouwanttodemand,oryoufeelyoudeserve.I’verunintosomepeoplewhodevelopthatfeelingofdeservingspecialattentiontothepointwhere,ifthey’renotgiventhatspecialattention,theyseethemselvesasmartyrs.There’sacertainenjoymentinmartyrdom,butitstillleavesyouunprotected.It’sstillnotasolutionforsuffering.

Youdon’twanttofocusontheparticulars.Youwanttofocusonadifferentkindofdetail:theuniversaldetails.ThisisoneofthereasonswhytheBuddhahasusdevelopthebrahma-viharas:realizingthateverybodyissufferinganditwouldbebetterifwecouldallfindawaytotruehappiness;feelingcompassionforallthosewhoaresufferingandempatheticjoyforthosewhoarenot.

Inotherwords,ifyouseethatsomeone’sbetteroffthanyouare,youdon’tgiveintofeelingsofjealousyorresentment.Youdon’twanttopullthemdowntoyourlevelorwhatyouperceiveasyourlevel.Afterall,ifyoureallylookcarefullyintopeople’shearts,youfindthatevenpeoplewholookhappyontheoutsidestillhavetheirsuffering.Itmayseemminortoyou,butit’sstillsuffering.Remember,we’realllookingforhappinessandmanyofushavefoundatleastameasureofhappinessbutit’snotsecure.Sothere’snoneedtofeeljealousyforpeoplewhoareinwhatseemstobeafortunatebutactuallyisaveryunsecureplace.You’rehappyforthembutyoualsoneedtohavecompassionfortheirinsecurity.

Thenthere’sequanimity,realizingthatthere’sanawfullotgoingon,bothintheworldandinyou,thatyourchoicescannotchange.Therearepeopleyouwouldliketoseehappierthantheyare,butthey’renot.Therearethingsyoucan’tchangeinonewayoranotherinyourownlife.Yourealizethatotherpeoplehavethesameproblem:Therearethingsintheirlivesthattheywouldliketochangebuttheycan’t.

Thisishowequanimitygivesrisetoasenseofsamvega:therealizationthatwe’reallsufferinginonewayoranother,andinalotofwayswecan’tdoanythingabout.Unlesswepractice.

Tothinkofallthesufferingintheworldisnotmeanttogetyoudepressed.It’smeantforyoutoquestionyourself:HowcanIfindawayout?IfIcanfindawayout,howcanIshareitwithothers?Thismeansthatinsteadoflookingtootherpeopleforacureforyoursuffering,leadingtoyourhappiness,youwanttofindwhatyoucanwithin.

Thisway,havinglookedatallthesufferingsofotherbeings,anddevelopingasenseofgoodwillforallbeings,youcomebacktotheparticularsofyoursufferingfromadifferentperspective.Insteadoflookingatwhatmakesyour

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sufferingspecialordifferent,youwanttolookatitintermsofwhatithasincommonwitheveryoneelse’s.

ThisiswheretheBuddha’ssummaryofwhatsufferingisbecomesreallyimportant.It’sthefiveclingingaggregates:clingingtoform,clingingtofeeling,clingingtoperceptions,clingingtofabrications,clingingtoconsciousnessatthesenses.Itsoundsprettyabstract,andyoumaywonderwheretheBuddhagotthisparticularwayofdividingupthepieofyourexperience.Apparently,itcomesfromhispracticeofconcentration.Whenyoutrytogetthemindtosettledownhereinthepresentmoment,thefirstthingyoucomeintocontactwith,ofcourse,isthebody.You’vegotthebreathcomingin,goingout.That’sform.Andyou’regoingtoencounterfeelings.There’llbefeelingsofpleasure,feelingsofpain,neitherpleasurenorpain.Youwanttolearnhowtodealwiththosefeelingsinawaythatallowsyoutosettledown.Thisiswhereperceptioncomesin.Youperceivethebreathnotonlyastheaircominginandoutofthelungsbutalsoasenergythatsuffusesthebody.Youstartthinkingabouthowthatenergycouldbeadjusted,howitcouldbemademorecomfortablesothatyouhaveabetterplacetosettledown.That’sfabrication:thinkingaboutthebreathandthenevaluatingthebreath.Thenthere’stheconsciousnessofallthesethings.

Sothosearethecomponentsofconcentrationpractice.Andyoufindthatasyoutrytobringthemindintoonenesswithitsobject,youhavetolearnhowtoisolatetheseparticularfunctionsofthemind,theseaspectsofyourexperience,sothatyoucanadjustthemskillfully.Howdoyouadjusttheform,i.e.,thebreath?Well,thatrequiresfabricationanditalsorequiresperceptionbecausesomeperceptionsgetinthewayofevenimaginingthatbreathenergycouldgodownthebackoroutthelegs,orthatitcouldhaveaneffectonanypainsthatyoumightfeelinthebody,anysenseofblockageinthebody.Ifyouperceivethebreathsimplyasaircominginandoutofthelungs,thenthebreathistotallyirrelevant,say,tothesenseofblockageinyourknee.Butifyouperceivethebreathastheenergyflowingthroughthenervesandthroughthebloodvessels,thenthequestionis:Whyisthereablockagethere?Howisitrelatedtotheflowofthebreath?Howcanyougetaroundit?Howcanyoudissolveitaway?Youneedtolearnhowtoisolateyourperceptionsandthenadjustthem.

Youalsoneedtolearnhowtoisolateyourfeelings.Theremaybepainsindifferentpartsofthebodybutistherepaineverywhereinthebody?No.Somepartsofthebodyfeelokay.Andbecausethey’resimplyokaytheymaynotdemandalotofattention,butifyoulearnhowtogivethemattentionandspacetogrow,todevelop,thenthissenseofokay-nessbecomesmorethanjustokay.Itbecomespositivelypleasant.There’sasenseoffullnessandrefreshmentthatcancomewhenyougivetheseareasofwellbeinginthebodysomespace,whenyougivethemachancetogrowasyouhoveraroundthemandprotectthem.

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Soasyou’regettingthemindtosettledown,thesearethementalfunctionsyouhavetopayattentionto:feeling,perception,fabrication.Atthesametime,yougainadifferentsenseofyourconsciousness.Itdoesn’thavetobejustinonespotorscatteredoutside.Youcansuffusethewholebodywithyourawarenesssothatyou’resensitivetothewholebody,allatonce,allatoncecontinually.Thisallowsthemindtosettledownsothatyoucandroptheactivityofevaluationbecauseeverythingfeelsreallyfineandyoucanactuallybecomeonewiththebreath,alongwithasenseofeaseandfullness.

Sometimes,though,thefullnessgetstobetoomuch.Thisiswhereperceptioncomesinhandyagain.Youcanperceiveamoresubtlelevelofbreathenergythat’snotsoactive,notsoburdensome—becausethesenseofrapturecangetreallystrong.Inthebeginningit’sreallynicetohavethatsenseofrefreshmentandfullness,butafterawhileitcangettiresomeandoppressive.Soyoucanuseyourperceptionofamoresubtlebreathenergytotuneintoadifferentlevelwherethere’ssimplyeaseinthebody.

Thenyouuseyoursenseofperceptiontoletthebreathstop,asyouholdinmindtheideathatthereisanoxygenexchangeattheporesofyourskin.Andifthemindisreally,reallystill,thebrainisusinglessoxygen,andtheoxygencominginthroughtheporesisenough.Soit’sokaytoallowthebreathingtostop.

Thisisthewaythemindgetsintostrongerandstrongerconcentration.Fromthereyoucanmoveiteventomoresubtlelevelsofconcentration.Whenthebreathenergyisstill,yoursenseofthedefinitionofthebody,thesurfaceofthebody,beginstodissolve.It’slikeyou’resittingherewithacloudoflittledotsoffeeling.Youhavetheoptionoffocusingonthedotsoronthespacebetweenthedots.Yourealizethatthatspacehasnoend;there’snoboundaryaroundit.Youholdthatperceptioninmind.Thatcreatesanevenmoresubtlelevelofconcentration.Andsoonthroughthedifferentlevelsofabsorption.It’sallamatteroffeelingandperception.Fabricationsofdifferentkindsfallsilentasyourdirectedthoughtandevaluationdropaway,asthemotionofthebreathingdropsaway.

It’sinthiswaythatthedifferentaggregatesseparateout.Youisolatethemasyougetthemindintoconcentrationinthesamewaythatsomeonewhohastodevelopaphysicalskillhastolearnhowtoisolatedifferentmuscles.Whenyou’replayingthepiano,whenyou’redancing,youhavetobeabletoisolatethedifferentmusclesinyourhandsandarmsandlegsandback,inyourtorsoingeneral,sothatyoucanmovethebodyinpreciselythewayyouwant.It’sthesamewaywithconcentrationpractice.Youhavetoisolatethesedifferentfunctionsofthemindtogetthemindtosettledown.

Onceyou’veisolatedthem,you’vegottherawmaterialforunderstanding

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whythere’ssuffering,becausetheBuddhasaidthatsufferingisclingingtotheseaggregates.You’vegothands-onexperiencewithallthesefabrications.Infact,oneofthemostimportantinsightsinallofthisistoseehowallofthesedifferentaggregatesarefabricated.There’sanintentionalelementineach,eveninyourexperienceoftheformofthebody.Forinstance,youhavehandsallthetimebutyou’reconsciousofthemonlywhenyouthinkofusingthem,whenyoufeeltheneedtousethem.Otherwise,theperceptionofthehandsgetsblurred.Thesamewiththeotherpartsofthebody.There’sanintentionalelementinyourexperienceofallthesethings.

Solookintothatintentionalelement,thatelementoffabrication,toseewhereanyclingingislurkinginthere.Bylookingatyourexperienceinthisway,you’regettingyourselfoutofthenarratives,alltheparticular,personaldetailsofyourparticularsufferings—thedetailsthatdistractyoufromactuallylearninghowtoputanendtothesuffering.Instead,youturnyourattentiontothedetailsthathelpyougetout.Exactlyhowisperceptioncontributingtoyoursuffering?Howisfeeling,howisfabrication,form,consciousness?Whatdoesitmeantoclingtothesethings?TheBuddhadefinesclingingaspassionanddelight,anditcancomeinfourways:throughsensualobsessions,throughviews,throughhabitsandpractices,andthroughideasofwhatyouridentityis.Thosearethewaysinwhichwecling,inwhichwetakepassionanddelightintheseaggregates.

Aswedothis,we’removingintosomeverydelicatedetailsherebutthey’redetailsofadifferentsort.They’renotsopersonalinthesenseofyourparticularnarrativeofyourparticularsufferings,buttheyarepersonalinthesensethatthey’reintimate.They’rehappeningrightinyourownmind.Bylookingattheintimatedetailsthatallformsofsufferinghaveincommon,youopenthepossibilityoffreeingyourself.

Sowhereveryoufindyourselfcaughtupinthedetailsofwhyyou’resufferingorwhyyou’refeelingthatnobodylovesyou,nobodycaresforyou,nobody’sreallyhelpingyouwithyoursufferings,orwhyyou’reoppressedbyaparticularaspectofyourlife,remember:Everybody’ssufferinginonewayoranother.Obsessingaboutthoseparticulardetailsisnotgoingtogetyouout.Butifyouturnaroundandlookattheuniversaldetails,thatopensthepossibilitytofreedom.

Learntoacquaintyourselfwiththeseaggregatesinactionasyougetthemindtosettledown—becausetheyprovidethekeyforunderstandinghowyoucandomorethanjustsettledown.Youcanmakeyourescape.

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IsolatingtheAggregatesJuly20,2011

AstheBuddhasays,oneoftherewardsofconcentrationisthatyougettounderstandtheaggregates:what’sform,what’sfeeling,perception,fabrication,consciousness.Yougettowatchhowtheyarise;yougettowatchhowtheypassaway.Whenyouseethemclearly,youcanbegintoseewhereyou’reclingingtothemandhowtheclinginginvolvessuffering.Onlywhenyoucanpinpointthesethingscanyoubegintoletgo.It’slikehavingaroomfullofpilesofstuff.Onlywhenyousortthingsoutcanyoubegintoseewhichthingshavetobethrownawayandwhichthingsshouldbekept.

Oneofthereasonswhyconcentrationhelpsthissortingoutprocessisthatyoucanseethingsclearlyonlywhenthemindisreallystill.Butanotherreasonisthatyouactuallygethands-onpracticeinmanipulatingthesethingsinthecourseofgettingthemindtosettledowninconcentration.It’sinthecourseofthathands-onpracticethatyoucanbeginsortingthemout.

It’slikelearningaphysicalskill—playingamusicalinstrumentordancingorlearningasport:Youhavetoisolateyoursenseofthemusclesyou’reusingifyouwanttomastertheskill.Iftheskillinvolvesjumpingandyouhaven’tbeenabletoisolatethedifferentmusclesinyourlegsandtheotherpartsofthebodythatyou’regoingtoemploy,thejumpisgoingtobeclumsy.Butasyougetyourownsensefromwithinofwhichmusclesareneededtomakethejumpgracefulormakeitgofarorhigh,thenyouperformalotbetter.

It’sthesamewaywiththemeditation.Westartouttryingtofocusonthebreathandweputalotofpressureonit,forfearthatifwedon’t,themind’sgoingtoslipaway.Ofcourse,alotofthepressureonthebreathhasaneffectonthecirculationoffluidsandenergiesinthebody.Youcancreatealotoftension,alotoftightness,alotofdiscomfortdoingitthatway.Andevenallthattensionandtightnessdoesn’tpreventyoufromslippingoffbecausethere’smoretoconcentrationthanjustpressure.You’vegotalltheseothermentalactivitiesgoingonthatyouhavetolearnhowtomasteraswell.Pressureonitsownisn’tgoingtobringeverythingtostillness.Youneedtounderstandyourrawmaterials.

Todealeffectivelywiththebreath,youhavetogetabetterunderstandingofhowyou’resensingthebodyfromwithin.Thismeanslookingatitintermsof

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thepropertiesthatmakeuptheaggregateofform—earth,water,wind,andfire—alongwithspaceandconsciousnessorawareness.Ordinarily,whenyoubreathein,there’safeelingofpressurethatyouspreadthroughthebody.Sowhenwesaytospreadyourawarenessthroughthebodyortospreadthebreaththroughthebody,yourimmediatereactionistospreadpressurethroughthebody,butthat’snotgoingtogetgoodresults.Infact,itcancreateproblems.Youhavetolearntoseparatethesethingsout:Whichsensationsarethebreathsensationsthatflowthroughthebodywithoutdisturbinganythingelseatall,withoutexertinganypressureatall?Ifthere’spressure,it’sanaffairofthebreathelementpushingthewaterelementagainsttheearthelement.Soyouhavetoseparatethoseout,sothatyou’respreadingonlythebreath.

Asforawareness,that’snotsomethingphysical,sowhyshouldyourawarenesscreatepressureinthedifferentpartsofthebody?Again,youhavetolearnhowtospreadyourawarenesswithoutpushingtheotherpropertiesatall.

Whenyoucanstarttoseparatethesethingsout,itgetsaloteasiertosettledownandstaywiththebreath,realizingthatthebreathenergydoesn’thavetobepennedinbyanything,doesn’thavetoexertpressureonanything.Itcanflowsmoothly,lightly,allthroughthebody,instantaneously.Youdon’thavetodragitthroughduringthein-breath.Youdon’thavetosqueezeitbackoutwiththeout-breath.

Somepeoplesay“Itrytobreathedownthroughthebodythroughthein-breathandIonlygetasfarastheneckoronlyasfarasthemiddleofthebackbeforeIhavetostartbreathingout.”Well,that’samisconceptionofthebreath.You’veprobablybeenpushingsomeblooddowntherewithoutrealizingit—becausethere’sanaspecttothebreaththat,assoonasyou’reawarethatyou’vebeguntobreathein,hasalreadygonethroughoutthewholebody.Whenyoucanlearnhowtodetectthat,itgetsaloteasiertofollow,tostaywiththebreath.

Thesamewithfeelings.Wetalkaboutgivingrisetoafeelingofpleasurewiththebreath,pleasurewiththeconcentration.Wheredoesitcomefrom?Youcan’tpushpleasureintothebody.Youhavetorealizethattherearelotsoflittlecentersinthebody,littlesensationcenters,andallyouhavetodoisgivethemalittlebitofspace,andthenafeelingofwhatseemslikeneutralitytobeginwithwillactuallybecomepleasurable—ifyougiveitspace,ifyou’renotpushingandpullingitaroundtoomuch.Thenthemoreconsistentlyyoucanmaintainthatsenseofspace,thegreaterthepleasuregrows.Andyouletitspreadwithoutpressure.Itbecomesrapture:asenseofrefreshment,fullness.Sometimesitcangetsointensethatyoufeellikeyou’redrowning.You’renot.It’ssimplythefactthatyou’reallowingthesesensationstomovethroughthebodyandthemovementofthebreathisnotdisturbingthem.It’sgivingthemspace.

Thismeansthatsensationsthatyouusedtoassociatewiththein-and-out

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breatharenothappening.Now,somespotinsideyourmindmaybesettingupalarmsignals,butyouhavetoreassureitthateverythingisallright.Thebreathisstillmoving,it’sstillcomingin,goingout,butyouroldforcedwaysofbreathingarenothappening.Whenyoulearnthatitwasforcedandunnecessary,youfindthatyoucanbreatheinandoutwithamuchgreaterfeelingofrapture,fullness,andpleasure.Itbecomessomethingyoucantapintoatanytime.

Asyoulearnhowtodissociatethebreathfromthepressure,dissociateyourawarenessfromthepressure,youbegintoseethatwhatwasholdingyoubackfromsettlinginproperlywasyouroriginalperceptionofthebreath.Nowthatyou’vechangedthatperception,thenewperceptioniswhat’shelpingtoholdyoucomfortablyinplace.There’samentallabelthatjustsays,“breath,”andthere’sapicturethatgoesalongwiththelabel.Andasyou’velearned,somepicturesaboutthebreatharemoreconducivetoconcentrationthanothers.Soaskyourself:howdoyouconceivethisprocessofbreathinginthebody?Canyoureadjustyourperception,readjustyourlabel,readjustyourlittlementalpictureintheretomakeitevenmoreuseful?

ThisiswhenAjaanLeeadvisesyoutothinkofalltheporesinyourskinopeningup.Whenyoufocusreallyclearlyanddistinctlyonthatperceptionoftheporesopeningup,theyreallydoopenup.Thisisoneofthewaysinwhichthebraincommunicateswithitself,communicateswiththebody:throughtheseimages.Sobitbybityou’rebeginningtoisolateouttheactofperceptionasyoufindperceptionsthataremoreandmoreconducivetosettlingdown:whattheBuddhacalls“calmingmentalfabrications.”

Thatbringsustotheaggregateoffabricationitself.Thesearethequestionsyouaskyourselfaboutthebreath.Yourintentiontostayhereisalsoafabrication.Yourintentiontochangethebreathisafabrication.Thewayyouevaluatehowthingsaregoing:That’safabricationaswell.Themoreclearlyyoucanisolatethesefunctions,themoreskillfullyyoucandothem.

Andthenthere’sconsciousness,whichistheawarenessofallthesethings.Consciousnesscomesindifferenttypes.There’sfocusedconsciousnessthatspotlightsspecificsensationsandmentalactivities,andthenthere’sabackgroundawarenessthat’salreadytherethroughoutthebody.Whenwetalkaboutspreadingyourawareness,it’sprimarilyaquestionoflettingyourspotlightconcentrationgetintouchwiththeawarenessalreadyfillingthebody.Thisbackgroundawarenessdoesn’thavetoexertanypressureonanythingatall.Youlearnhowtoseparatethisconsciousnessfrom,say,theearthandthewaterandtheotherthingsinthephysicalsideofthebodythatyoumayhavebeenconfusingitwith.

Themoreclearlyyoucanisolatethesethings,theeasieritistofigureoutexactlywhat’sgoingwrongwhenthemindisnotsettlingdown.Yougetmore

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sensitivetoanyfeelings,perceptions,orfabricationsthatmightdisturbyourconcentration.Yougetabettersenseofhowtohandlethoseaswell.Inparticular,yougetmoresensitivetothatlittleprocesswherethere’sastirringsomewhereinthebody—whichcouldeitherbephysicalormentaltobeginwith—butthenyoudecideit’sgoingtobeathought,soyouplacethelabelof“thisisathoughtaboutx”andthenyouallowittogrowinthatparticulardirection.Whenthemindisreallystill,youcanseethisasit’shappening.Youcanseeitmoreclearlybecauseyou’reintentonnotallowingittotakeoveryourconcentration.

Soit’sthroughyourmasteryofthesedifferentprocessesoftheaggregatesthatyoucanactuallygetthemindtosettledown—whichiswhywhenthemindhassettleddownyoucanseetheseprocessesevenmoreclearlyandarereadytoevaluatethemforwhattheyare.Youcanseethingsinthesetermsbecauseyou’vehaddirectexperienceinseparatingthemoutintheprocessofgettingthemindtosettledowntobeginwith.

It’sworthnotingthatthefiveaggregatesarenotamongtheteachingstheBuddhapickedupfromotherschoolsofthoughtthatweretaughtbyhiscontemporaries.Thetermsfor“form,”“feeling,”andsoonwerealreadycurrentinhistime,buttheideaofgroupingthemtogetherasasetwasoriginalwithhim.Andit’sverydirectlyrelatedtothemasteryofrightconcentration.

AjaanLeepointsthisout.Hesaysthatwhenyou’redealingwiththebreath,you’redealingwithform.Astheformbeginstogetmoreandmoresubtleuntilthebreathstops,themindbeginstofocusonspace.Theeasethatcomeswiththatfeelingofspacepartoftheaggregateoffeeling.Thenitgoestoconsciousness.That’stheaggregateofconsciousness.Thenthere’snothingness,andyoubegintorecognizethatthesenseof“there’snothing”isafabrication.Thenthere’sthestateofneitherperceptionnornon-perception,whichallowsyoutoseehowattenuatedperceptioncanbe.

There’sanimagethatAjaanLeeusesinanothercontext,butitapplieshereaswell.Thinkofarockcontainingdifferentminerals.Asyouapplyefforttoyourconcentration,it’slikeapplyingheattotherock.Whenyouhitthemeltingpointfor,say,tinorleadorsilverorgold,eachofthosemetalsintherockwillflowoutandseparateonitsown.Youdon’thavetogosortingthroughtherockwithapick,saying,“Thisisalittlebitofgoldandthisisalittlebitofsilver.”Theynaturallyseparateoutasyouapplytheheat.

Inthesameway,theactivitiesoftheaggregatesallseparateoutasyougetdeeperanddeeperintotheformlessstagesofconcentration.Now,theteachersoftheBuddha’stimewereabletogetintothesestages,butheseemstohavebeenthefirsttorealizehowusefulitwastotaketheseterms,theabilitytoseparateouttheseprocesses,andrunwiththemfurther.

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Thisiswhy,whenyou’vebeenpracticingconcentrationandyou’rebeginningtolookattheissueofsuffering,youbegintoseemoreclearlyhowclingingtothesefiveaggregatesiswhatbringssufferingabout.You’reclingingtoanyoneofthesefiveactivitiesoranycombinationofthem—becausetheyareactivities.Wecallthemaggregates,whichmakesthemsoundlikeapileofgravel,butthey’renot.They’rejustdifferentconglomerationsofactivitiesorprocesses.Whenthemindhasbeeninconcentration,youcanbegintosee,“Thisiswherethere’sstress,”say,aroundaging,illness,death,birth,orwhereverelsethemindfeelsstress.Thestressistherebecauseyou’vebeenclingingtothesedifferentactivities.Thismeansthatyoushiftyourfocusawayfromtheagingorwhatever,anddirectittowardwatchingtheseactivitiesinaction—thesameactivitiesyou’vebeenengagingintogetthemindtosettledown.Themoreclearlyyoucanseetheseactivitiesandtheirdirectconnectiontosufferingandstress,thentheeasieritistoletthemgo.

Sowhenyoufindyourselfrunningupagainstproblemsinthemeditation—asenseofdiscomfortinthebodyorsomesloppinessinmaintainingyourfocus—askyourself:Whichoftheseactivitieshaveyounotbeenabletoisolateout?Whichonesareyouconfusingorglommingtogetherinanunskillfulway?Themoreeasilyyoucanisolatethemout,thenthemoreefficientyourconcentrationisgoingtobe,themoresolidit’sgoingtobe,andthebetterit’sgoingtobeasafoundationforgainingevendeeperinsights.

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TheLimitsofControlAugust19,2009

Theysaythey’vefoundthatwhentheystimulateacertainpartofyourbrain,youcanfeelaverystrongsenseofoneness;yoursenseofboundarybetweenyourselfandtheworldoutsidedissolves.There’saverysatisfyingsensethatyou’reonewitheverythingyou’reawareof.Ofcourse,thisdoesn’tmeanyoureallyareone.Thebrainisjustsendingthatsignal.Thequestionis:Whatuseisthatperception?Ifyou’refeelingonewiththings,canyouchangethemtobebetter?Canyouexertcontroloverthem?Andeventhoughtheremaybeasenseofwellbeingthatcomeswiththatoneness,howlastingisit?

TheBuddhahimselfpointedoutthatthehighestsenseofonenessisthesenseofconsciousnessbeingtotallyoneandsingle,wheneverythingintherangeofyourconsciousnessbecomesone.But,hesaid,eveninthatsenseofoneness,thereisinconstancy.Thereisstress.It’snottotallyunderyourcontrol.

Healsosaidthattheideathatyouareonewiththeworld,oryou’reonewiththecosmos,isthemostridiculousself-viewthereis.Afterall,ifyouareonewithsomething,oritreallyisyou,youshouldbeabletocontrolit,getittodowhatyouwant.Allyouhavetodoisthink,andthereitgoes:Itchangesinlinewiththethought.Andifsomethingisyou,thenit’salsogoingtobeyours.Ifyou’reatonewitheverything,thenthepieceoflandnexttooursisyours.Thecarsintheparkinglotareyours.Everythingthatcomesalongshouldbeyours.Butit’snot.Trytogoandexertyourownershipoverlandorthecars,andalotofpeoplewillfightyouoff.

Sothesenseofonenessmaybeanicestateofconcentration,averyrelaxingsenseofwellbeing,butbeyondthat,itdoesn’treallymeananything.Itdoesn’thaveanytruthvalue,andit’scertainlynottheendofsuffering.

Amoreusefulwayoflookingatyoursenseofselfislookingatwhereyoudoexertcontrol.AjaanSuwatoncemadeacomparisonbetweentwoofthepassageswechanthereregularly.Ontheonehand,there’sthepassagewechantedjustnow:Anabhissaro:thereisnooneincharge.Assakoloko,theworldhasnothingofitsown,whichmeansthereisnothingofyourowneither,nothingworthyofcallingyouoryours.Butwealsohaveanotherchant,Kammassakomhi,I’mtheownerofmyactions.Youractionsareyours.AsAjaanSuwatsaid,thinkaboutthat.There’saveryusefulteachinginthatparadox.Wedohavethepowerto

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exertcontroloverourintentionsrightnow.Andourintentionsdoshapeourexperienceoftheworldaroundus,theworldinsideus,atleasttosomeextent:enoughtomakethedifferencebetweensufferingandnotsuffering.

Whatwe’reexperiencingrightnowistheresultofpastintentions,plusourcurrentintentions,plustheresultsofourcurrentintentions.Eventhoughwemaynothaveabsolutecontroloverthings,andwillultimatelyhavetoletthemallgo,wedohavesomecontroloverouractionsnow.Andyouwanttomakethemostofthatfact.Youwanttobeabletofabricateapathtotheendofsufferingoutofyourintentions,whileyouhavetheabilitytodoso,becauseultimatelytherecomesapointwhereyouhavetoletgoofeverythinghere,andgoontowhoknowswhere.

Sowhatwearedoingaswe’remeditatingistofindoutexactlyhowmuchcontrolwecanexertoverform,feeling,perceptions,fabrications,andconsciousness.Thisisthepointofalltheaspectsofthepractice.Generosity,forinstance:Oneofyourfirstexperiencesoffreedomiswhenyouhavesomethingthat’syours,butyoudecideyouwanttogiveitaway,notbecauseyouhavetooryou’reexpectedto,butsimplybecauseyouwanttoshareitwithsomeoneelse.That’syourfirstsensethatyou’renottotallyaslavetoyourdesires,totallyaslavetoyourgreed.You’refreetosayNotothem,andahigherpleasurecomesasaresult.Thisisaveryskillfulwaytoexercisecontrol.

Thesamewiththeprecepts:YoucansayNotoyourdesiretoharmsomeoneelse,Notoyourdesiretoharmyourself,Noeventoactionsthatseempleasantintheshort-termbutinthelong-termcauseharm.

Thenthere’stheusefulsenseofcontrol,theskillfulsenseofcontrol,whenyou’repracticingconcentration.You’retakingthosefiveaggregatesandbasicallypushingagainstwhattheycallthethreecharacteristics.Pushagainstaniccam:Seehowconstantyoucanmakeyourmind.Pushagainstdukkham:Seewhatsenseofpleasureyoucancreateoutofyoursenseofthebody,outofyourpresentawareness.Pushagainstanatta:Howmuchcanyoucontrolthemindtostaywiththeobjectofyourconcentration?Pushagainsttheenvelope.Youfindthatyoucancreateasenseofgreaterconstancythanyouhaveinanyotherway,agreaterpleasurethanyou’veexperiencedformanyotherthings,greatercontroloveryourmind.

Thisisnotonlytogivethemindapleasantdwellingplace,butalsotodevelopmoremindfulnessandmorediscernment.It’seasiertobemindfulwhenyoursenseofthebreathinthebodyfeelsreallygood.It’seasiertostaywithitforlongperiodsoftime.Soyouwanttotakeadvantageofthat.It’seasiertoseethingsclearlywheneverythinginthemindisverystill.Likethewaterinalake:Ifthewaterisstill,youcanseeclearlywhat’sinthebottomofthelake.Ifit’sstirredupbythewind,ifthere’stoomuchmovementonthesurface,ifthere’sastrong

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currentinthelakethatgetsitmuddied,theneventhoughtheremaybethesamestonesandeverythingelsethat’sunderthewaterwhenit’sclear,youcan’tseethemthroughthewater.Butifyouallowthemindtosettledownandbestill,thingsbecomealotclearer.Youcanseethesubtlemovementsofthemind:whereitsmovementscausestress,wheretheydon’tcausestress,oratleastwheretheyreducetheamountofstressyou’vebeenexperiencing.

Sointhispractice,we’repushingagainstthosecharacteristicsofinconstancy,stress,andnot-self,allforagoodpurpose.Itallowsustogainthewisdomthatultimatelygoesbeyondthem.AsIwassayinglastnight,youdodevelopahealthysenseofselfasyoupursuethepractice.Youdogetagreatersenseofcontrol—butyouhavetomakesureitstayshealthy.Avoidtheunhealthysensesofselfthatcandeveloparoundthepractice.AstheBuddhasays,don’tgocomparingyourself,saying,“Mypracticeisbetterthanotherpeople’spractice.”Or,“I’mabetterpersonthantheyarebecausemypracticeisbetterthantheirs.”That’snothelpfulatall.Whatishelpfulisthatyoubegintogainahealthiersenseofwellbeing,agreaterinsightintowhat’sgoingoninthemind,bypushingitinthedirectionofconcentration.

Ultimatelyyoufindthatthingspushback.Themindcanbemadeonlysoconstantthroughconcentration.Afterall,theelementofintentionthatkeepsitgoingissomethingyouhavetokeepfabricatingagainandagainandagain.Andeventhoughit’srelativelyuseful,there’sastillanelementofstresssimplyinthatfact.

That’swhenyourunupagainstthelimitsofhowfaryoucancontrolthesethings.Butifyouhadn’tbeentryingtoexertthatcontrol,youwouldn’tseeexactlywherethelinebetweencontrollableanduncontrollablelies.Andyouwouldn’tseethesubtletiesofthestressthatveryrefinedcontrolcontains.

Thisisonewayyoucaninduceasenseofdispassion,disenchantment:thatnomatterhowgooditgets—andthisisasgoodasitgets,intermsoffabricatingasenseofwellbeing—it’sstillnottotallysure.It’sstillnottotallysolidorconstant.Now,somepeoplemightgiveupatthispointandsay,“Ifthisisasgoodasitgets,Ihavetosatisfymyselfhere.”ButtheBuddhawasnotthatkindofperson.Hehadtriedtoseeifthereissomewaytotouchtheunconditioned,andhefoundthattherewas,bydevelopingthesethingsasfarastheycangoandthenlettingthemgo.Thinkoftheoldimageofclimbingupthetopofthepoleandlettinggo.Youfindthatyoudon’tfall,becauseyou’veletgonotonlyofthepole,butalsoofgravity.You’veletgooftimeandspace.

That’ssomethingyoucan’tcontrol,butitdoesn’tmatteratthatpointbecauseitdoesn’tneedtobecontrolled.Itdoesn’tneedtobefashioned.Youdon’thavetokeepworkingatit.Ithasnothingtodowithpartsofthebrainbeingstimulatedornotbeingstimulated.Itliesoutsideofthatdimension.And

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althoughyoumightsaythere’saoneness,it’sadifferentkindofoneness.It’snotbasedonperception;it’sbasedontotalunlimitedness.

Soasyouworkatthepracticehere,trytobeveryclearaboutwhereyoursenseofcontrolis.That’swhereyoursenseofselfistogoingtobefound,totheextentthatyou’recreatingaself.Ifit’saselfbasedaroundtheskillsyoudevelopinthepractice,it’sactuallyuseful.It’snotsentimental.It’snotbasedonsomeabstractidea.It’sbasedonyourskilllevel,soyouwanttoexpandyourskillssotheycanleadyoutogreaterhappinessandfinallytothepointwhereyoudon’tneedthoseskillsanymore.That’swhenthewholeissueofcontrolgetssetaside.Thewholeissueofselfandnot-selfgetssetaside.Butyougettherebyexploringexactlyhowmuchcontrolyoucangainovertheaggregates,howmuchcontrolyoucangainoveryouractions,andbypushingtheminasskillfuladirectionasyoucan.

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Staying,Moving,&NeitherDecember28,2010

Ifyouweretoboilalltheissuesofconcentrationpracticedowntothemostbasicone,they’dcomedowntothequestionofwhentostayinplaceandwhentomove.Thenextlevelup,whenyou’regoingtostayinplace,ishowdoyoudoit?Howdoyougetthemindtosettlein?Andwhenyoumove,howdoyoumoveinawaythatdoesn’tobscurethings?Inotherwords,therearetimeswhenyousimplywanttostaywithoneobjectandgeteverythingtosettledownaroundthatobject,andothertimeswhenyouwanttoquestion,lookintosomething,allowsomethoughtstocomeintothemindandseewheretheygo,sothatyoucanunderstandtheprocessesofthemind.

Thesameprincipleappliestothebody.Whenyou’resittinginmeditation,therearetimeswhenpaincomesup.Howdoyouknowwhenit’stimetostaywiththepainandwhenit’stimetomove?Partoftheanswerliesinlearninghowtousethebreath.Whenyou’reworkingwiththebreathhere,it’slikedoingbodywork.Therearebasicallytwokindsofbodywork.Themoreaggressivestyletriestostraightenyououtrightnow.Itpullsyouhere,bendsyouthere,forcesthebodyintoabetteralignment.Theotherstyleismoreindirect:justplacingthebodyinaparticularpositionwhereitwillnaturallyreleaseandrelaxintoalignment,ratherthanbeingforcedthere.

Whenyou’reworkingwiththebreath,thesecondapproachisyourprimaryfocus.Youwantyourposturetobestraight.Youwanttheorgansofyourbodynottobescrunchedupagainstoneanother.Butifyoutrytoohardtostraightenthingsout,youcanactuallydamageyourself.Remember,we’reworkingwithbreathenergyhere.AsAjaanFuangusedtosayagainandagain,thisisthekeytoourskillhere.Ancrucialpartofthatskillliesinlearningtodistinguishthebreathenergyfromtheotherpropertiesofthebody—andfromthefeelingsitcreates—andtoworkprimarilywiththebreath.

Now,thebreathissubtle.Sometimeswefeelthatwesuckitintolittlesacksinthebodyandthensqueezeitbackout.Well,that’sair.That’snotthebreath.Thebreathistheenergyflow,anditdoesn’thaveanyclearedges.There’snoclearlydemarcatedareawherethisisthebreath,thisisnotthebreath.Breathenergyactuallysuffuseseverythinginthebodyanditcanflowunimpeded,eventhroughthesolidparts.Theliquidpropertyiswhatgetsimpededbythesolid

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parts.Butthebreathcangoanywhere.Sowhenthealignmentofthebodydoesn’tseemquiteright,thinkofthis

totallyunboundedenergy,unboundedinthesensethatithasnospatialboundaries.Itcangoanywhere,doanything.Allowthatsenseofunboundednesstorealignthings,sothatyou’renotpushingandpulling,becausesometimesthepushingandpullingcandodamage.Simplyopenandallow,andonceyou’retherewiththatkindofenergy,it’saloteasierforthemindtosettledowninawaythatdoesn’trequirealotofeffort,alotofexertion.

Thisisoneoftheproblemswithreadingthetextstoomuch.Wegetalotofpreconceivedideasofwhatthemindshouldbedoing,whatphasesitshouldbegoingthrough.Thenwetrytosqueezeitintothosephases.Youcansqueezeitinforawhile,butafterawhileyourunoutofenergy.Andifyouthinkofanythingthat’sbeensqueezedintoaconfiningplace,yourealizeitcangetalldistorted,whichisnotwhatyouwant.Youworkonthecausesandlettheeffectstakecareofthemselves.

Intermsoftheconcentration,thecausesarethree.Youdirectyourthoughtstothebreath;youevaluatethebreath;andyoutrytostaywiththebreathasyoursinglepreoccupation.That’sallyouhavetoworryabout.Therearetimeswhenyou’llfindthatyourconceptionofthebreathgetsconfused,asinthetendencytoconfusethebreathenergywiththeliquidenergyinthebody.Whenliquidrunsupagainstobstacles,itcan’tgothrough.Itgetssqueezedin.Itbuildsuppressure.Butthebreathdoesn’thavetobesqueezedin.Yetwhenwestartbreathingasifitwere,thatcreatesproblems.

So,remember:It’stotallyfreetogoanywhereatall,allthetime.Theneatboundariesweplacearounditareartificial.Learntoerasethemandseewhathappens.Asforthepleasureorraptureyouwant,thatwillhappenonitsown.Youcansqueezeit,youcanforceit,butsqueezedandforcedpleasureisnotgoingtolastverylong.It’slikesqueezingapieceoffruittomakeitripe.Youknowthatripefruitsaresupposedtobesoft,soyousqueezeyourpieceoffruit,squeezeitandsqueezeituntilit’ssoft,butthatdoesn’tripenit.Youjustgetmush.Therightwayistoleavethefruitonthetree,waterthesoil,makesuretherearenoinsectseatingyourfruit,andgivethetreesomefertilizer.Inotherwords,youfocusyourattentionontheroots,andthefruitstakecareofthemselves.Andforthetimebeing,youdon’twanttogoanywhereelse.

Thisiswheretheprincipleofstayingcomesin.We’recreatingastateofbecominghere,astateofmind.AstheBuddhasaid,thatrequiresadesire,becausedesireisthebasicseedaroundwhicheverythingelsegrows.Theseedhastobelocatedinacertainplace.Sowe’relocatingthingsinthebreath,locatingthingshereinthebody,hereinthepresentmoment.Ourdesireistostayhere.Indoingso,welearnalotabouttheprocessofbecoming:howthemindcreates

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theseworldsbycreatingaworldthathasreferencetothepresent,that’ssolidlystill,andthatenablesustoseetheotherworldsastheybegintoform.Thisallowsustoseethatwehavethechoicetogowiththemornot.

Alltoooftenthechoiceisalmostautomatic.Athoughtcomesupandyoujumprightinandrideoffwithoutlookingtoseewho’sdriving,wherethey’replanningtogo.Andsooneoftheimportantskillsinthemeditationislearninghownottomovealongwiththethoughts.Athoughtwillshootout,andyoudon’thavetogetinvolved.Youstayrightherewiththebreath.Whenyoucanmakethatseparation,youseethatthethoughtsshootoutforalittlewaysandthenjustfall.LiketheoldlegendofthehilltribechieftaininnorthernThailandbackintheseventhcentury:HehadfalleninlovewiththequeenwhohadcomeupfromthecentralplainstothecityofLamphun,wheresheestablishedherkingdom.Hesenthisemissariestoproposemarriage,sosheaskedthem,“Whatdoesyourchieftainlooklike?”Theywerescrawnylittlehilltribesmenandtheysaid,“Well,helooksjustlikeus.”Shewasn’tinterested.Butthenthechieftainproposedthroughhisemissariesthathewouldstandonhismountain,whichwas30–40milesaway,andthrowthreespears.Ifanyofthespearslandedinthecity,shewouldbehiswife.Iftheydidn’t,he’dabandonhisrequest.Shefiguredthattherewasnowayhewasgoingtogetthespearsthatfar,sosheagreed.

Sohechantedhismagicalcharmsandthrewhisfirstspear,anditalmostgotintothecity.Thiswaswhenthequeenbecameconcerned.Soshecreatedahatforhimoutofherclothing.Sheputherowncharmonitandthensentittohim.Andhethought,“Ah,thisisasignshehaschangedhermind.”Soheputthehaton.Ashegotreadytothrowthenextspear,hetriedtodohismagicalchants,buttheyhadnopower.Thespearjustwentupintheairandcamerightdown.Didn’tgoanywhereatall.

Mostofourthoughtsarelikethat.Theyhavemagicalpowerbecausewegivethemthepowerthatallowsthemtogomilesandmiles.Wejumprightinandwekeepthemgoing.Sooneoftheskillswe’relearninghereistodeprivethemoftheirmagicalpower,toseethatthey’resimplyconstructs.Ifyoudon’tjumpinwiththem,ifyou’renotmaintainingthem,theydon’tgoveryfar.

Sothebigissuesinconcentrationarehowtogetthemindintopositionandhowtokeepitthere,atthesametimeallowingittosee.Thisisimportant,becausetherearetypesofconcentrationwhereyoujustblankout.You’restill,butyou’renotlearninganything.Thewholepointofthisistoputyouinapositionwherethemindisstillandclearandcanseethingswithinitsdepths,likefishinapoolofclearwater.Whateverisgoingtomove,youcanseeit,butyou’renotmovingalongwithit,unlessyouseethatitisanecessarythought,somethingyou’vereallygottothinkthrough.“Okay,”yousay,“we’regoingtomovewiththis,we’regoingtogowithit.Andwhenwe’vefinishedourwork

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withit,we’llcomebackhere.”Soit’snotthatweshuttheminddowntotallyandleaveitthere.Asthe

Buddhasaid,whenyougainfullcontroloveryourthoughts,itmeansyoucanthinkwhenyouwanttothinkandnotthinkwhenyoudon’t.You’vegotthechoice—insteadofjustwilly-nillyridingalongwithwhatevercomesby.You’reinapositionwhereyoucanseewhichthingsareworththinking,andhowalotofthingsarenot.

ThisisoneofthereasonswhytheBuddhahasuslearnhowtoquestionourassumptions,becauseourassumptionsarewhatpullusintoalotofthoughts.Thisisalsowhyheteachessomuchaboutquestioning.Oneofthemainlessonsheteachesisthatsomequestionsaresimplynotworthanswering,becausethedichotomiestheysetuparefalse,eitherbecausetheissueitselfisjustanon-issue,orbecausetherearemorealternativesthanjustthetwo.

SowhentheBuddhatalksaboutgaininginsightthroughinvestigation,thisispartofit:learningtheprocessofquestioning.Whenyousetupaquestion,howareyoupredeterminingtheanswer?Whenyoucanseethat,youlearnhowtostepoutsideofthequestions.ThereisthatfamousexchangethatAjaanChahhadwhenawomaninEnglandaskedhim—accordingtooneversionofthestory—aboutwhathappenstopeoplewhogotonirvana.Dotheystillexist?Dotheynotexist?Nobodyhadeverbeenabletoanswerthisquestiontohersatisfaction.Herepliedthatneitheralternativeappliedandhegavetheimageofthecandletoexplainwhy.Whenthecandleisburning,youcantalkabouttheflame:whatshapeithas,whatcolorithas.Whenit’snotburning,youcan’ttalkaboutitsshapeorcoloranymore.Andit’sthesamewiththepersonwhohasattainednirvana.Youcan’ttalkaboutwhethertheyexistornot,becausethey’renolongerburning.Thenheaskedherifthatanswersatisfiedher,andshesaid,No.Shewasn’tsatisfiedwithhisanswer.Hesaid,“Inthatcase,I’mnotsatisfiedwithyourquestion.”Whichinonewayisstartling,becauseusuallythepersonwhoasksthequestionistheonewhohasthepowertosay,“Thisanswersatisfiesme,thisonedoesn’t.”Thisishowthemindtrapsitself.Itsetsupquestions,setsupdichotomiesandmakesthemauthoritative,anditendsupdemandinganswersthatkeepittrapped.

Sooneoftheskillsyouwanttodevelopasameditatorishownottofallintothattrap.Youhavetoquestionthequestion,tolearnwhichquestionsareworthridingwithandwhichonesarenot,becausequestionshaveahugeshapinginfluenceontherestofyourthoughts.Inotherwords,yougettodecidewhichquestions—andwhichmotivationsforsettingupthequestion—aresatisfactory,andwhicharenot.

Ultimately,itturnsoutthatthisdichotomybetweenmovingandstayingstillisafalsedichotomy,too.Therecomesapointwhenthemindisfullytrainedin

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learninghowtostaystillanditrealizesthattheoneissueremainingisitsattachmenttostayingstill.Butyoudon’twanttorunoffmovingeither.Soyou’retrapped,aslongasyouseethatthosearetheonlyalternatives.Aslongasyouseethingsintermsofmindstateswithalocation—likeyourstateofbecoming,centeredaroundthatparticulardesire,thatparticularintention—thenallofyourchoicescomedowntowhetheryou’regoingtostaywiththisintentionormovetoanotherone.

Butwhenthemindisstillenoughandsharpenough,itcomestoseethatthereisanotheralternative.ThisiswhytheBuddhasaid,inthedimensionwheresufferingends,thereisnocoming,thereisnogoing,andnostayinginplace.Whenthatdevaaskedhimhowhecrossedthestream,hesaidhecrossedbyneithermovingforwardnorstayinginplace.Heleftitatthatanddidn’texplainitbecausehewantedthedevatorealizethattherewasmoretothemindthanwhatthedevahadpresupposed.Hewantedtosubdueherpride.Butforusaswe’remeditating,wefindthatthisisoneoftheseriousquestionshoveringoverthepracticeaswegetcloserandclosertogainingrealinsight:Whatarethealternativesasidefrommovingandstayinginplace?

AjaanLeeoncesaidwehaveatendencytoseethebigissuesasthebigabstractions,allthetechnicalvocabulary,ashigh-levelDhamma,whereasthesimplebusinessoflearninghowtokeepthemindstillislow-levelDhamma.Butthat,hesaid,iswrong.We’vegotitallbackwards.Lookingatthebasicsagainandagainandagain:That’swheretherealhigh-levelworkgetsdone.

Thatwillenableyouultimatelytoseewhatthatotheralternativeis.That’salotofthepracticerightthere.

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AMindWithoutInertiaFebruary13,2010

ThetextstellusthatwhentheBuddhawasnewlyawakened,hesurveyedtheworld.Ontheonehand,hesawhoweveryonewasaflamewithpassion,aversion,anddelusion,burningfromthesethings,andhefeltcompassion.ButthenhereflectedontheDhammahehaddiscovered.Hewasstruckbyhowmuchitwentagainstwhatpeoplewouldwanttohear,howsubtleitwas,howharditwouldbeforthemtounderstand.Healmostgaveupontheideaofteaching.ItwasonlyafteraBrahma’sinvitation—andtheBuddha’sownreflectionthattherewouldbepeoplewhowouldunderstand—thathetaught.

Noticethedynamicthere.Therewasthecompassion,buttherewasalsotherealizationthatitwasgoingtobeverydifficult.Heneededtobeconvincedthattheeffortwasworthwhile.Thatwaswhyhetaught.

Oneofthemainproblemshefacedwasthatthefireburningawayinourmindsissomethingwereallylike—inparticularthefireofpassion.WhentheBuddhasaysthatwe’reattachedtosensuality,it’snotsomuchsensualthingsthatwe’reattachedto.We’reattachedtopassionforsensualthoughts,ourobsessionwithsensualthoughts.Welovetothinkaboutsensualpleasures.Ifwecan’tgetonesensualpleasure,well,we’rehappytothinkaboutanotherone.Butwe’rereallyattachedtothethinking,eventhoughitmakesussuffer.Wethinkofpassionasagoodthing.Alotofpeoplesay,howcouldyoulivewithoutpassion?

Thinkaboutthatforaminute.Whatdoesthatmean?Weneedtheoomphofpassiontoovercomeanawfullotofinertia.Toliveistostruggle.Wehavetofeed;wehavetoprovidefortheneedsofthebody.Thisisonethereasonswhywe’retaughttorepeatthecontemplationoftherequisiteseveryevening:Wehavethisneedforfood,clothing,shelter,medicine.Ifthebodywereperfectlycomplete,wewouldn’tneedthesethings.Butwe’rebornwithabiglack,awholeflurryofneeds.Ourparentsprovideforuswhenwe’reyoung,buttherecomesapointwherewehavetoprovideforourselves.Andit’snoteasy.

Andit’snotjustourowneffortthatgoesintoprovidingforourselves.There’salotofsufferingonthepartofotherpeople,otherbeings,thatgoesintothefactthatweneedfoodtoeat.Evenifwewereallvegetarians,farmerswouldstillhavetoworkatgrowingthefood,transportworkerswouldstillhavetobringthefoodfromthefarmtomarket,peoplewouldstillworkinthemarket,

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peoplewouldstillhavetocook:Allthesepeoplewouldbeinvolvedinalotofeffort.

Thisholdsnotjustforfood,butalsoforclothing,shelter,medicine.There’salongchainofsufferingthatgoesintoprovidingthesethings.Yetevenwhenthebodyisfullyprovidedwiththesethings,it’sstillfullofachesandpains.Thepainsofhungerhiteveryday,andthingsgetworseasyougetolder.Thingsbreakdownwithoutaskingyourpermissionorgivingadvancedwarning.Thispartbeginstoweardown.Thatpartbeginstoweardown.Youfindyourselfwithlessandlesstoworkwith.Itgetsharderandhardertobeupandrunning.Togetoverthebarrierofthatinertiatakesafairamountofpassion,whichiswhyweseepassionasagoodthing.Butit’safirethatkeepsburningaway.

TheBuddhahadatwofoldsolutiontoallofthis.Oneistodirectthepassioninaskillfuldirection,learningtogetthemindmotivatedforthingsthatreallyarehelpful,thatreallydoleadtoatrulylastinghappiness.Forthemostpart,ourpassionsaretotallymisguided.SotheBuddhasaidtofocusyourpassioninthedirectionoftheDhamma.Findthehappinessthatcomesfromgenerosity,thehappinessthatcomesfromvirtue,frombeingprincipledinyourbehavior,andthehappinessthatcomesfrommeditation.Hecomparesthesethingstofood—andparticularlythesenseofwellbeing,rapture,andrefreshmentthatcomefromgettingthemindintoagoodstrongconcentration.That’syourfoodandnourishmentonthepath.Itgivesyouenergy.Atthesametime,hisvariousteachingsonthethingsthatcanbeattainedaswepracticeprovidethemotivationthatgivesyouthepassionfortheDhamma,thathelpsovercometheinertiathatotherwisewouldkeepyoufrompracticing.

Beyondthat,theBuddha’sultimatesolutiontotheproblemistototallygetridofthatinertia,thebaggagethatweighstheminddown,thatwehavetofightagainstinordertoaccomplishanything.That’swhyhehasuslookatourattachments.ThePaliword,upadhi,meansbaggage,anditderivesfromatermthatnomadswoulduseforalltheirtentsandfoodandalltheirotherbelongingsthattheywouldpackontheirhorseswhentheypickedupandmovedon.Allyourmentalbelongingsarecalledupadhi:thebaggageyoucarryaroundwithyou,theextraweightthatcreatesthatdeadsenseofinertia.

Thisiswhywehavetolookverycarefullyintothemind,whywepracticeconcentrationtogivethemindaplacewhereitcanseeveryclearlythestepsbywhichitfunctions,bywhichitcreatestheseburdens,thismassiveloadofbaggageit’sholdingonto.Yourgreed,youraversion,andyourdelusion,identifyingwithyourbody,identifyingwithyourfeelings,yourperceptions,yourthoughtfabrications,evenwithactsofconsciousness:Thesethingsweightheminddownifyouholdontothem.

ThisistheBuddha’sultimatemodeofattackwhenyouseethemindholding

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ontosomething.Thephrase,“holdingon,”here,ismetaphorical.Theminddoesn’thavehandsthatgrabthings,butithashabitsthatitkeepsrepeatingoverandoveragain.Theplacesitgoestoforitshappiness,thethingsitdoesagainandagainandagain—partlybecauseitdoesn’tknowanybetter,partlybecauseit’shabitual:Thoserepeatedactionsareyourattachments.Torepeatthemistoholdontothem.Whenwebegintopryintoourattachments,webegintoseewhatcreatesthemind’sinertia.Wealsoseehowwecanlightenthemindbylearninghownottokeepgoingaftertheideasthatweighusdown,thatkeepusback,orwaysoffunctioningthatkeepusback.Weletthesethingsgobyseeingthatthey’renotworththebother.Theymayprovidealittlepleasure,butthatpleasuredoesn’tcomparewiththestressandpaintheycause.That’swhytheBuddhahasyoufocusonstress—inAjaanMahaBoowa’swords,thesqueezetheyputonthemind.They’redeadweightonthemind.Whenyoudecideyou’dratherletthemgo,themindgetslighterandlighter.Asaresult,ithaslessandlessneedforpassion,becausethere’slessandlessinertiaforittoovercome.

ToreallycomprehendtheBuddha’steachings,toappreciatethem,youhavetothinkoutsidethebox.WhentheBuddhasaysthatthemindinnibbananolongerhastofeed,itdoesn’tcorrespondtoourordinaryideasaboutpleasureandhappiness.Ourhabitualwayoflookingforhappinessistokeepfeedingonsights,sounds,smells,tastes,tactilesensations,ideas,relationships,intentions.Andsowhenhetalksaboutthemindnotfeeding,itsoundslikeit’sbeingstarved.What’sactuallyhappeningisthatthemindhasarrivedatsuchastrongplacethatitdoesn’tneedtofeedanymore.

Thesamewithpassion:Wethinkalifewithoutpassionwouldbedeadanddullbecauseallweknowistheinertiaofthemindthat,ifitcan’tstiruppassion,can’tdoanything.That,inoureyes,isadeadmind.ButtheBuddhawasawareofastateofmindthatdoesn’thavethatinertia,thatdoesn’thavethatdeadweight,andsoitcandothewisething,thehelpfulthing,theskillfulthing,thecompassionatething,withnoneedforanypassiontospuriton.

Aswe’repracticing,wehavetobringpassiontothepracticebecausethemindstillhasitsbaggage,alotofresistancethatwehavetoovercome.That’swhytheBuddhadescribespassionfortheDhammaasagoodthingonthepath.Whenyoufindthatyoureffortsaregettingslack,youdowhatyoucantoremindyourselfofwhyyou’reherepracticing,whatthealternativewouldbeiftherewerenowayoftrainingthemindtofreeitfromitsburdens,tofreeitfromitsfiresofpassion,aversion,anddelusion,thefeversthatinflamethemind.Bykeepingyourselfmotivatedinthisway,youusethepassionfortheDhammatoreplaceyourotherpassions,tokeepyourselfonthepath.AsyoubecomemoreandmorepassionatelyengagedintheDhamma,youcanseemoreandmoreclearlyexactlywhereyou’vebeenweighingyourselfdown.Youcandropallthe

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weight.It’slikethoseoldballoonsthatpeopleusedtotravelin.They’dhavebigbagsfullofweightsandwhentheballoonwasreadytogoup,they’ddroptheweights,droptheweights,andtheballoonwouldrisehigherandhigher.

Thesamewiththepractice:Asthemindgetslighterandlighter,yourpassiongetsmorerefined,andultimatelyit’stotallyweightless,totallyfreeofinertia.That’swhenyounolongerneedthepassion.

It’sgoodtorememberthattherearealotofthingswevalueinlifebecauseofalack.Wevaluefoodbecausewefeelhungry.Wevaluepassionbecauseithelpsustoovercomeourinertia.Butwhenthemindnolongerneedstofeedonthings,it’stotallyweightless.Itlooksatfoodandfeelsnoinclination,foritdoesn’tneeditanymore.ItlooksatpassionandseesitastheBuddhadid:simplyasafever,fromwhichhewasgladtobefreed.

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PissingonPalacesApril9,2010

AfamousscholarlymonkfromBangkokwhowasveryskepticalabouttheWildernessTraditionandaboutthepossibilityofgettinganywhereinmeditationoncewenttovisitAjaanMunandaskedhim,“Hereyouareoutintheforest,meditatingallalone.WheredoyougotolistentotheDhamma?I’minBangkokwithfamousDhammateachersallaroundandeventhenIcomeupwithproblemsthatIcan’tsolveandtheycan’tsolve,either.Sowhathopedoyouhaveouthereintheforest?WherecanyoulistentotheDhamma?”AndAjaanMun’sresponsewas,“IheartheDhammaallthetime,24hoursaday,exceptwhenI’masleep.”Andthemonkreplied,“Well,thatshowsyouknowhowtolisten.”

Andit’strue.TheDhamma’salwaysproclaimingitselfwhereveryoulook—ifyoulookintherightway,listenintherightway,ifyoutuneintothefactthatthereisDhammabeingtaught.Actually,it’snotreallytaught,it’sjustthewaythingsare.Theysimplyshowthewaytheyarebytheirbehavior.AsAjaanMunsaid,youseealeaffall,anditteachesyoutheprincipleofinconstancy,impermanence.Youhearamonkeycall,andwhatyouhearisitspainandsuffering.It’sallaroundus.

WhentheBuddhareferredtohisteachingoftheDhammaandtheVinaya,he’dusedifferentwordsforhowhetaught.TheVinayawassomethingheformulated.Inotherwords,hehadtoputtogethertherulesfortheretobeaVinaya.ButtheDhamma’ssomethingalreadythere,andsohesaidthattheDhammawassomethinghesimplypointedout.Allhehadtodowaspointitoutsothatpeoplecouldsee.

Sothisisaskillwehavetodevelop:theabilitytoheartheDhammaallthetime,toseetheDhammaallthetime,sowedon’thavetobedependentonsomebodyelsetoteachustheDhamma,allthewhilewonderingifthewordsaretrueornot.Ofcourse,oneoftheproblemsisthatwe’resurroundedintheWestbypeoplewithlotsofanti-Dhammaattitudes,andthatincludesalotofDhammateachers.Butthat’sthenatureofhumansocietyingeneral.TotuneintotheDhamma,youhavetolearntotuneoutalotofthemessagesthatarebeingsentyourway.Andthatrequiresawholesetofskills.

Oneistomakesurethatyourintentionisskillfulinwhatyoudo,say,andthink.Thisiswhywerecitethosepassagesonthebrahma-viharaseveryevening.

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It’snotthatwe’reprayingtosomegodtomakethesethingshappen,thateverybodybehappy.Andit’snotthatwebelievethatsimplybywishingit,it’sgoingtobeso.AstheBuddhaoncesaid,ifthingscouldbemadetruesimplybywishingandpraying,therewouldn’tbeanypoorpeople,anysickpeople,anyillpeopleintheworld.Actually,thegoodthingsthereareintheworldaretherebecausepeoplehavehadgoodintentionsandactedonthoseintentions.

Sothat’swhatwe’redoingaswedevelopgoodwill,compassion,empatheticjoy,andequanimity:We’reworkingonourintentionstomakesurethatthey’restraightinlinewiththeDhamma.Justthatmuchrighttherehelpstuneusin,becauseitfocusesonthepointthatouractionsaretheimportantthingsintheworld.Whatwe’redoingrighthere,rightnow:That’sthemostimportantthing—whichisverydifferentfromthemessagethatwegetfromeverybodyelse.Thenewspresentedbythemediaisaboutwhatsomebodyelseisdoingsomeplaceelse:Theytellusthatthat’smoreimportantandthatyou’rejustalosersittingherewatchingTVorlisteningtotheradioorontheweb,absorbingwhattherealactorsintheworldaredoing.Thenyougetsuckedintotheillusionthat,“Well,maybeifIsendoutamessage,I’llbecomeanimportantactor,too.”

But,actually,thereallyimportantthingsinyourlifearethingsthatnobodyelsecanknow:whatyou’redoinginyourmind.Thisisimportantbecausewhatyoudointhemindthenbecomesthebasisforwhatyousay,whatyoudo,whatyouthink.Sothat’sonewaytotuneintotheDhamma.

Whenyouseeorhearanythingthathelpstosupportthat,youknowyou’reseeingandlisteningtotheDhamma.Asforanythingthatpullsattentionawayfromthat,youknowyou’relisteningtosomethingthat’snotDhamma.

Thisiswhereyouhavetodevelopyourequanimity,soyoucandetachyourselffromanti-Dhammaideas.Youneedcompassionandgoodwillsothatyourdetachmentdoesn’tbecomecold,indifferent,orhard-hearted.Butyoualsoneedthedetachmentofequanimitysothatyoucanstepbackabitandnotgetsuckedintothewaysoftheworld.Becausewhatdotheyhave?Theyhavegainandloss—andwe’veseenalotofthisrecently:peopledoingthingsthattheythinkaregoingtomakethemwealthy,togetaheadinlife,anditturnsoutthatthey’rejustshootingthemselvesinthefeet.

Thentherearethethingspeopledoforstatusandpraisebutendupcausingalotofsufferingforthemselvesandforthepeoplearoundthem.Thethingstheyclaimtodoforthesakeofloveandcompassionplaceburdensonthepeopletheysaytheylove.Tolookrealisticallyatthehumanconditionrequiresastrongsenseofirony.Everybody’smotivatedbythedesireforhappiness,andyetlookatwhatwedo.Wecreatemoremiserythananyotherspeciesontheplanet—andwe’resupposedtobethesmartestspecies.Soweneedtostepbackabit.

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OneofthethingsIappreciatedmostaboutAjaanFuang,especiallywhenIfirstmethim,washow,eventhoughhewasaThaiperson,heseemedtobestandingoutsideofThaisociety.Hewasn’tsweptupwiththeusualThaicaresandconcerns.AndthisistypicaloftheWildernessTraditioningeneral.IthasrootswaybackintheBuddhisttradition.It’soneofthereasonswecomeoutintothewilderness:togetaseparatesenseofperspectivesothatwe’renotspinningaroundwitheverybodyelse.We’restandingoutsideofthespinning.

Wehavetokeepremindingourselvesthatthethingspeoplerunafterarenotreallyallthatreal,allthatworthwhile.InSriLankatherearetheremainsofancientforestmonasteriesandmostoftheremainsarereallyplain.Theywerejustbrickbuildingsandalltheyhavenowarethebrickfoundations.Onedetail,though,wasreallyelaborate:thestonepanelsintheurinals.Theyhadbas-reliefpicturesofpalacesonthebackpanelsoftheurinalssothatthemonkscouldpissonpalaceseveryday.IsupposeIshouldsaythattheywerepissingwithcompassionbutno,probablynot.Theywereexpressingtheirdisdain,whichIthinkisemblematicofanattitudethat’sreallyhealthy.Youlookatallthethingsthatpeoplerunafter—power,wealth,fame,orasTwiggyoncesaid,allthemosthorriblethingsinlife.Ifthat’swhatyou’retunedinto,you’renotgoingtoheartheDhamma.

You’vegottotuneintootherthings.Youhavetotuneintocompassion,kindness—butnotidiotcompassionoridiotkindness.Youhavetotrainthesequalitieswithdiscernmentsothattheydon’tprovidecoverforyourdefilements.Thismeansthat,primarily,youhavetotuneintoheedfulness,thesensethatyouractionsreallyarelife-shapingandyou’vegottobecarefulhowyouact.Youcan’tallowyourselftowasteyourtimeoverthingsthatarereallynouseatall.Becausethequestionis,giventhatlifeissoshort,whatareyougoingtotakewithyou?

WhenIwasinNewYorklastmonth,Igaveaseriesoftalksonnot-self.InoneofthetalksIfocusedonthewholeissueofrebirthandhowrebirthwasanimportantteachingonnot-self.Everyonelookedkindofpuzzled,becausemostpeoplethinkoftheideaofrebirthastheultimateformofselfing:notonlydoyouhaveaselfinthislife,butitalsoextendsintothenext.Buttheconnectionbetweenrebirthandnot-selfcomesinthesuttawhereVen.Ratthapala’stalkingtoKingKoravya.Thekinghadaskedhim,“Whydidyouordain?Yourfamily’shealthy,you’rehealthy,youhaven’tsufferedanyloss.Whatwouldinspireyoutogoforth?”AndRatthapalasaid,amongotherthings,that“Theworldhasnothingofitsown;onehastopassonleavingeverythingbehind.”Andthekingsaid,“Well,howcanyouexplainthat?I’vegotlotsofwealthandIcantakeitwhereverIgo.”AndRatthapalareplied,“Canyoutakeitwithyouwhenyoudie?”Andthekinghadtoadmit,“Well,no.WhenIdie,Ihavetoleaveeverythingbehind.”That’showdeathteachesnot-self.

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Butitalsoteachesyouthattherearesomethingsthatdocarryover,thatyoudotakewithyou.Youtakeyourkamma;youtakethequalitiesofmindyou’vedeveloped.Soyouneedtomakesurethatyou’vegotsomegoodqualitiestotakewithyou.Whatwe’relivingforasmeditatorsistodevelopthequalities—insomecasesthey’recalledthenobletreasures—ofconviction,virtue,asenseofshameandcompunctionovertheideaofdoingsomethingharmful,thewillingnesstolearn,generosity,andwisdom.Thesearequalitiesofmindyoucantakewithyou,andyoudon’twanttoscroungearoundforthematthelastminute.Deathislikebeingsuddenlyevacuatedwithnotimetopackyourbags.Youfindyourselfswepttoanewland,anewplace,andallyouhaveareyourskillsets.Sowhatskillssetshaveyoubeencollecting?

Focusinonthat,listentothatquestion,keepthatquestioninmindbecausethat’swhatenablesyoutoheartheDhammaintheotherthingsyounoticearoundyou.Youseeotherpeopleandsomeofthemareworkingongoodskillsets,whileothersareworkingonwhoknowswhat:theskillsofimpatience,entitlement,overweeningpride.Whenyoulookatthem,youshouldaskyourself:“IsthissomethingIwanttotakeasamodelformybehaviororisthissomethingIhavetolearnfromasalessoninpreciselywhatnottodo?”Whenyoudothis,you’renotpassingjudgmentonthevalueoftheperson;you’relookingatthepersonasapossibleguideanddecidingwhetheryouwanttotakethatperson’sactionsasaguidetoyourown.It’snotharshandjudgmentaltolookatpeopleinthisway.It’scommonsense.

AndtheBuddhaneversaidthatitwaswrongtojudgeotherpeople.IwasreadingabookrecentlythatcontainedasupposedquotefromthePaliCanonwheretheBuddhasaysthatifyoujudgeotherpeople,youdestroyyourselfbytheroot.ThisstatementwasevenaddressedtoVen.Ananda,togiveitanairoftruthiness.Butthewholepassagewasaninterpolation.TheBuddhaneversaidthat.Heactuallysaidthatyouhavetolearnhowtojudgepeoplewiselyintermsoftheskillorlackofskillintheiractions.Youneedtodothisforthepurposeofdecidingwhetheryouwanttotakethemasanexampleornot.

Whenyouseeotherpeoplewho,throughtheirgreedandheedlessness,havedestroyedtheirwealth,destroyedtheirstatus,destroyedthecompanytheyworkfor,youcantakeitasawarningsignal:That’saDhammalessonrightthere.Whenyouseesomeonewho’sfoundpeaceofmind:There’saDhammalessonrightthere,too.

Theimportantthingistodetachyourselffromtheusualsnaresoftheworld.Theydanglethingsinfrontofyourfaceandleadyouonsothatyoucan’treallyhearthemessageoftheDhamma.It’slikethecartooninTheNewYorkerthatshowspeopletrudgingalongonacitystreet,eachwithabigstickcominguptheirbackandhangingdowninfrontofthem,danglingacarrotinfrontoftheir

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faces.Theyalllookprettyglum.Andonthestreet,there’saguydrivinghistop-downsports-carrotdowntheroad,smilingtohimself.We’reallgoingafterthosedanglingcarrotsandthat’swhywedon’treallyseetheDhammaaroundus.

Solearnhowtostepbackandputaquestionmarkaroundthemessagesyou’regettingfromthepeoplearoundyou,fromthemedia,fromwhateverthesource.Say,“Okay,isthataDhammalessonaboutwhattodooraboutwhatnottodo?There’sgottobeaDhammalessoninheresomewhere.”It’sliketuningyourradio.Therearealwaysdifferentradiowavesordifferentfrequenciesgoingthroughtheairrightnow,goingthroughyourbodyrightnow.Ifyoutuneintoonefrequency,yougetclassicalmusic.Ifyoutuneintoanotherfrequency,yougetTijuana.Ifyoutuneintoanother,yougethateradio.It’sallthereintheair.Thequestionis,towhichfrequencyareyougoingtotunein?Ifyoutuneinproperly,youtuneintotheDhammabecauseit’salwaysthere,too.

Butitrequirestherightattitude:yourdesiretobeskillful,tosearchforhappinessinawaythatembodiesgoodwill,compassion,andempatheticjoy,alongwiththeequanimitythatallowsyoutostepbackandquestionanynon-Dhammastations,anynon-Dhammafrequenciesyouencounter.Whenyoulearntotuneinyourmindjustright,youfindthattheDhammaisbroadcasting,asAjaanMunsaid,24hoursaday.It’stheretolistento,it’stheretoseewheneveryouwantit—ifyouknowhowtolisten,ifyouknowhowtolook.

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Glossary

Ajaan(Thai):Teacher;mentor.

Arahant:Apersonwhohasabandonedalltenofthefettersthatbindthemindtothecycleofrebirth,whoseheartisfreeofmentaldefilement,andisthusnotdestinedforfuturerebirth.AnepithetfortheBuddhaandthehighestlevelofhisNobleDisciples.Sanskritform:arhat.

Deva:Literally,“shiningone.”Aninhabitantoftheterrestrialandheavenlyrealmshigherthanthehuman.

Dhamma:(1)Event;action.(2)Aphenomenoninandofitself.(3)Mentalquality.(4)Doctrine,teaching.(5)Nibbana(althoughtherearepassagesinthePaliCanondescribingnibbanaastheabandoningofalldhammas).Sanskritform:dharma.

Jhana:Mentalabsorption.Astateofstrongconcentrationfocusedonasinglesensationormentalnotion.Sanskritform:dhyana.

Kamma:Intentionalact.Sanskritform:karma.

Khandha:Aggregate;heap;pile.Theaggregatesarethebasicbuildingblocksofdescribableexperience,aswellasthebuildingblocksfromwhichone’ssenseof“self”isconstructed.Therearefiveinall:physicalform,feeling,perception,thought-fabrications,andconsciousness.Sanskritform:skandha.

Nibbana:Literally,the“unbinding”ofthemindfrompassion,aversion,anddelusion,andfromtheentireroundofdeathandrebirth.Asthistermalsodenotestheextinguishingofafire,itcarriesconnotationsofstilling,cooling,andpeace.Sanskritform:nirvana.

Pali:ThenameoftheearliestextantcanonoftheBuddha’steachingsand,byextension,ofthelanguageinwhichitwascomposed.

Samvega:Asenseofdismay,terror,orurgency.

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Sangha:Ontheconventionallevel,thistermdenotesthecommunitiesofBuddhistmonksandnuns.Ontheideallevel,itdenotesthosefollowersoftheBuddha,layorordained,whohaveattainedatleasttheirfirsttasteoftheDeathless.

Sankhara:Fabrication;fashioning.Theforcesandfactorsthatfashionthings,theprocessoffashioning,andthefashionedthingsthatresult;allthingsconditioned,compounded,orconcoctedbynature,whetheronthephysicalorthementallevel.Insomecontextsthiswordisusedasablankettermforallfivekhandhas.Asthefourthkhandha,itrefersspecificallytothefashioningorformingofurges,thoughts,etc.,withinthemind.

Sutta:Discourse.Sanskritform:sutra.

Uposatha:Observanceday—thedaysofthefullmoon,newmoon,andhalf-moon—andthepracticestraditionallyfollowedonthosedays.ForBuddhistmonks,theseincludemeeting(onthefullmoonandnewmoondays)toheartherecitationofthePatimokkha,thebasiccodeofmonasticdiscipline.ForBuddhistlaypeople,thesepracticesincludeobservingtheeightprecepts:againstkilling,stealing,sexualintercourse,lying,takingintoxicants,eatingduringtheperiodfromnoontothefollowingdawn,watchingshowsanddecoratingthebody,andusinghighandluxuriousbedsandseats.

Vinaya:Themonasticdiscipline.

Wat(Thai):Monastery.

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TableofContents

Titlepage 2Copyright 3Introduction 4AConnoisseurofHappiness 6VirtueContainsthePractice 11LessisMore 16RehabWork 21Kindfulness 25AsDays&NightsFlyPast 31TheWisdomofWisingUp 37LivingForward,UnderstandingBackward 41Awe 47Conviction&Confidence 50ConcentrationWork 56ThreeLevelsofEvaluation 60Rapture 65Truth 68YourMindisLyingtoYou 72EncouragingPerceptions 76Broad,Tall,&Deep 81YourGyroscope 87BettertoGivethantoConsume 91Forgiveness 95StubbornClinging 100AVictorythatMatters 104Gratitude&Trust 109

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AnApprenticeshipinIntegrity 113TheBreathAlltheWay 119YourMainFoundation 129ThreeStagesinthePractice 133AcceptingtheBuddha’sStandards 139LoveMe,LoveMyDefilements 143TheKindnessofBodyContemplation 147Freedom&Responsibility 151ChoicefulAwareness 155TheTruthofTranscendence 159Loss 164Don’tWorry,BeFocused 168RecollectingtheDevas 173RecollectionofHell 180SkillsoftheDhammaWheel 184TheParticularsofYourSuffering 188IsolatingtheAggregates 193TheLimitsofControl 198Staying,Moving,&Neither 202AMindWithoutInertia 207PissingonPalaces 211Glossary 216

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