ONLINE DATING: YOU’RE PROBABLY DOING IT WRONG

By Pei Kuo, dating coach and author of the following books:

THE ECONOMY OF ONLINE DATING

She will receive 20+ messages a day This means she will discard your message for any

possible pretext For even the sexiest people, online dating is a

numbers game

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YUP, YOU’RE PROBABLY DOING IT WRONG All-encompassing statements

Reliance on travel and food

Insecure language

Identifiable or frightening usernames

Unflattering or eyeroll pictures

Terrible messages

Answering profile questions literally

Being a penpal

Generic-isms

Humor that needs congruent body language and tone

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A TYPICAL OKCUPID PROFILE1. My self summary: I’m a pretty laid back guy, and I love to

be active. I travel as much as I can, whether for work or pleasure, and live to cook for my daughter. I’m caring, down to earth, and really sweet.

2. My typical Friday night: Hanging out with the boys making Cocktails, staying home engaging in some Risky Business!

3. What I’m doing with my life: Back on the dating scene after a long relationship.. Curious to see what’s out there! Acting. Trying to get into directing.

4. The first thing people notice about me: My dimples and that I’m taller than you might think.

5. Most private thing I’m willing to do admit: I used to love Oprah lol.

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…BY TOM CRUISE

Generalities and a glaring lack of detail Could be anyone in LA

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“BUT I’M BORING…”

FALSE. We’re not all Tom Cruise, but… Just by living life, we all have unique traits,

mannerisms hobbies, thoughts, rituals, and passions. Pet peeve? Making eye contact too early Talent? Getting to the bus stop right when the

bus arrives

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A BETTER APPROACH DON’T try to comprehensively sum yourself up

Analysis paralysis Generalities, generic, boring Impossible

DO focus on specific traits, interests, and passions that you can SHOW through story I love travel? Tell that story about how the Russian midget assaulted you

in Belgrade. I love to rock climb? Talk about how you learned as a Boy Scout, and want

to enter free climbing competitions.

Be more than the list of adjectives!PK Consulting

THE SURCCHH SYSTEM

Specificity Uniqueness Relatability Confidence Calibration

Humor Hooks

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ANDREW CASE... STUDY

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-Specificity-

Uniqueness-Relatability-Confidence-Calibration

-Humor-Hooks

ANDREW CASE... STUDY1. What I’m doing with my life:

2. The first thing people notice about me:

3. The most private thing I’m willing to do admit:

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-Specificity-

Uniqueness-Relatability-Confidence-Calibration

-Humor-Hooks

MESSAGING BASICS All you’re doing here is starting the conversation as organically

as the medium will allow Focus on how something relates to you Give them a prompt to reply to JENNY: is a nurse, has a dog named Ray, likes tennis, likes

country music, is a foodie, has a picture in front of a waterfall When I was 15, I shadowed my aunt (a nurse) into a childbirth, and

knocked over a tray while almost fainting. You guys have nerves of steel. What breed is Ray – let me guess, whippet?

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PICTURES: THE GOOD…

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AND THE LESS THAN GOOD.

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