Orly Benjamin y Sullivan Oriel. “Relational resources, gender consciousness and possibilities of change in marital relationships”

8/22/2019 Orly Benjamin y Sullivan Oriel. Relational resources, gender consciousness and possibilities of change in marital r

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Relational resources, genderconsciousness and possibilities of change

in marital relationships

Orly Benjamin and Oriel Sullivan

Abstract

Investigating the possibilities of change in marital relationships, we

argue, involves examining the interplay of gender consciousness, rela-

tional resources and material circumstances in their concrete, inter-

actional manifestations. The attempt to address this interface is

grounded in the idea that understanding gender relations necessarily

involves both institutional and interactional dimensions. While much

research has been devoted to the influence of material or structuralresources on indicators such as the domestic division of labour, relatively

little direct attention has been given to the issue of differing relational

or interpersonal resources. We use a multi-method approach based on

interviews with women in different occupations to analyse possibilities

of change in marital communication and the domestic division of labour

in relation both to womens material and to their relational resources.

We conclude that a combination of increased gender consciousness and

the development of particular inter-personal skills facilitates negotiation

and change in the boundaries regulating both communication and thedomestic division of labour within the marital relationship.

Introduction

For many years now there has been an interest among sociologists

in the extent to which gender power relations in the home have been

influenced by womens increased access to social and materialresources. The feminist argument that access to independent

resources is a major condition for the liberation of women consti-

tutes a significant theme of this debate. For example, Marx-Ferree

argued (1988, 1991) that access to material resources acts as an

important leverage in womens power position at home and a major

The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999. Published by Blackwell Publishers,108 Cowley Road, Oxford OX4 1JF, UK and 350 Main Street, Malden, MA 02148, USA.

Copyright 1999. All rights reserved.


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condition in the enabling of marital negotiation. In the same vein

Hartmann suggested that womens increasing economic indepen-

dence will create high levels of domestic conflict around their efforts

to raise their male partners levels of domestic participation

(Hartmann, 1981). Such suggestions encouraged several feminist

researchers to undertake the project of exploring the domestic

sphere in order to trace the development of conflict or negotiation

in this area. Particularly well-known in this respect are the studies

of Komter in the Netherlands (1989); Brannen and Moss in

England (1991); and Berk (1985), Hochschild (1989) and DeVault

(1990, 1991) in the USA. All of these studies focused, as part of

their more general scope, on employed mothers and their attitudes,

thoughts or feelings around the domestic division of labour. In fact,

what all of them reported were very low levels of domestic negotia-

tion, and these results were backed up by a range of theoretical

explanations for the relative absence of change in gender relations in

the home. All of these explanations (with the exception of Komter,

1989), directed their attention to the dynamics of the husband-wife

relationship, and the production of femininity and masculinity

through traditional domestic arrangements. Together with a range

of other studies (eg Thompson and Walker, 1989; Mederer, 1993;

Thompson, 1993), these studies therefore contributed to the recog-

nition that change in structural conditions does not translate in sim-

ple ways into domestic divisions of family labour, and that changes

in womens employment commitments, for example, has at best a

limited mediating influence on levels of mens participation. On the

other hand, there is increasing evidence recently to suggest that

some structural factors, such as the duration of a womans full-time

work commitment, can indeed lead to longitudinal adjustments

between partners in the domestic division of labour over time

(Gershuny, 1995).

These conflicting findings have been difficult to reconcile, in the

face of research which has shown a stubborn persistency in womens

almost exclusive responsibility for aspects of performance and man-

agement of domestic tasks, and which, moreover, has revealed the

complexity of an emotional situation in which structural factors

alone do not play the most significant role. In this paper we attemptto give recognition to the interconnectedness of dimensions of

power, intimacy and housework by conceptualising possibilities of

change in both marital communication and the domestic division

of labour in relation both to womens material and relational

resources.

Relational resources

The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999 795



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In particular, we develop the argument that, for some groups of

women, exposure to what we call therapeutic discourse (see below)

in both their professional and personal lives can promote both an

enhancement of gender consciousness (Gerson and Peiss, 1985),

and the development of particular inter-personal skills. This combi-

nation of increased gender consciousness and inter-personal skills

in turn facilitates negotiation and change in the boundaries regulat-

ing both communication and the domestic division of labour within

the marital relationship. The change referred to in the title is thus

conceived of as womens success in challenging normative scripts in

both marital communication and the household division of labour.

Therapeutic discourse and gender consciousness

Therapeutic discourse in the sense in which we use it is taken to

refer to part of the wider ideological environment, and encompasses

a range of practices and media at both the professional and popular

level: individual therapy and counselling; group or family therapy;

self-enhancing workshops; self-help books, tapes and videos; media

shows and advisory services. A major message of therapeutic dis-

course is that people can develop and improve the inter-personal

skills which they use within their relationships. It is claimed, for

example, that people are able to learn how to talk; how to commu-

nicate their feelings; how to change their feelings; and how to man-

age situations so as to maintain the sense of being in control. As

explained by Cancian and Gordon (1987) such messages are signifi-

cant in enabling feminist ideas regarding direct conflict and

womens empowerment to be brought into the intimate situation.

Direct and indirect reference to these aspects of the wider discursive

environment can be found in the work of many authors. Along with

criticism directed at its origins in individualistic utilitarianism (see, for

instance, Bellah, 1985; Swidler, 1985), one can also find within this lit-

erature a recognition of the potential for a facilitation of change

embedded within therapeutic discourse. For example, Illouz makes the

claim that what she terms the therapeutic ethos should not only be

understood in terms of the pervasive influence of individualism, butalso as providing a dimension of self-observation and self-knowledge

(1991: 240). Crawford (1995) writes of the self-help industry:

The quest for self-transformation encouraged by individualistic

social science does, at least, give women the message that Your


796 The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999



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life is yours to control. And this belief may be necessary and

empowering for anyone committed to change. (Crawford, 1995:

179)

A similar message is to be found in Giddens (1991), where he argues

that therapy can be seen as an expression of generalised reflexivity,

which should be evaluated as a methodology of life-planning. It

represents a means by which the individual may acquire a more

developed self-understanding, and be able to harmonise present

concerns and future projects with a psychological inheritance from

the past (p. 180). Thus, womens access to expert systems or bodies

of knowledge can equip them with new perceptions of self and a

new awareness about relations with others. With perhaps a more

direct reference to the theme of this paper Cancian (1987) argues

that what she terms the human potential movement has had a sig-

nificant impact on culture in the United States, facilitating the

development of new blueprints of intimate relationships, based on

images of androgynous love.

So we suggest that, embedded in the emphasis within therapeutic

discourse on open and change-orientated communication, lie some

significant potential pathways to the development of enhanced gen-

der consciousness, defined according to Gerson and Peisss 1985

formulation. In their approach gender consciousness can be

thought of as a continuum along which a generalized gender aware-

ness is succeeded by a consciousness of the rights associated with

specific gender locations within a given system. This in turn implies

a reciprocal influence on the generation of these rights in social

interaction, which might be either reactionary or progressive in

nature. Finally, a clearly articulated challenge to the existing system

of gender relations may emerge, containing an explicit commitment

to change. Gender consciousness is thus, according to Thompson

(1993), central to whether or not partners, particularly women,

push for change (p. 566). It may be regarded as a critical enabling

element in the desire for the transformation of the normative

boundaries which regulate gender relations (see Potuchek, 1992).

Gerson and Peiss have stressed the need for more research on how

such consciousness develops or recedes and other writers havedrawn attention to the link between changing norms of intimacy

and the growth of what we have called therapeutic discourse (see

Giddens, 1991; Cancian, 1987).





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Relational resources and negotiation of boundaries

In addition to the relationship at the wider level between the influ-

ence of therapeutic discourse and an enabling gender consciousness,

we might also consider that those with high and systematic expo-

sure to therapeutic discourse may also develop specific interper-

sonal skills. Examples of such skills might include change-directed

negotiating skills, the ability to express thoughts and feelings more

clearly, and the controlled use of anger in conflictual situations. In

our analyses we use measures of such skills as operationalisations of

the concept of relational resources, which we understand as the

combination of the interpersonal and emotional skills and resources

that individuals bring to a relationship. We argue that relational

resources, like material resources, can act as important facilitators

of change in aspects of intimate relationships (specifically, in the

empirical operationalisation of these concepts in this paper, in mari-

tal communication and the domestic division of labour). While

much research has been devoted to the influence of material or

structural resources on indicators such as the domestic division of

labour, relatively little direct attention has been given to the issue of

differing relational resources. We argue that in order to investigate

the possibilities of change in marital relationships we should in fact

be examining the specific interplay of gender consciousness, rela-

tional resources and material circumstances in their concrete, inter-

actional manifestations.

With this model we attempt to bridge the different levels of analy-

sis which are involved in any theoretical conceptualisation of gender

relations, which are simultaneously and interpenetratingly con-

structed at the institutional level (shaping images and meanings of

intimate relationships, cf: Cancian, 1987; Hochschild, 1989, 1990;

Giddens, 1991, 1992; Illouz, 1991; Simonds, 1992) and negotiated

within individual relationships. The attempt to address this inter-

face is grounded in the idea that an understanding of possibilities of

change in the sphere of gender relations necessarily involves both

interactional and institutional dimensions: the gender perspective

simultaneously emphasizes the symbolic and the structural . . . the

interactional and institutional levels of analysis (Ferree, 1990: 868).

However, despite widespread recognition of the theoretical

importance of multidimensionality in the study of gender relations,

empirical analyses which attempt to incorporate it are relatively rare

in the literature, having tended to focus on either the interactional





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or the institutional level. The empirical analyses presented here

therefore involve both an investigation of the relational resources

resulting from womens differential exposure to therapeutic dis-

course at the institutional level, and their interactional outcomes in

respect of negotiation and change within the marital relationship. It

is argued that women who have been exposed (through professional

development activities, personal counselling, reading etc) to influ-

ences at the institutional level which promote the development of

reflexivity and self-awareness in intimate relationships are more

likely to have acquired the relational resources necessary to achieve

the successful challenging of normative boundaries regulating both

the communicative sphere within marriage (marital talk see

Zvonkovich et al, 1996) and the material measure of the division of

domestic labour.

The importance of our theoretical conception of negotiation and

boundaries in the marital relationship is also developed from

Gerson and Peisss influential article (Gerson and Peiss, 1985).

Negotiation in this approach relates to the way in which women

and men, from an initial base of resources, bargain for privileges

and resources. This notion of negotiation is twinned in Gerson and

Peisss conception with domination, which is used to refer to the

ways in which women are oppressed, and may accommodate or

resist such oppression. The importance of boundaries as a concept

is that it simultaneously expresses a basic commonality in the divi-

sions between the sexes, while at the same time permitting analysis

of differences and change in patterns of gender experience. There

may be large boundaries, as between work and leisure, public and

private, but also smaller ones regulating, for example, the domestic

division of labour or talk and no-talk zones in the marital con-

versation (Benjamin, 1995). These intersections are significant in an

analysis of gender relations since they demarcate normative behav-

iours and attitudes, and permit the identification of points of

dynamic change when they are shifted. The relationship between the

three elements in respect of change is summarised by Gerson and

Peiss thus:

[C]hanges in gender relations occur along the three dimensions ofboundaries, negotiation/domination and consciousness; change

in any one variable elicits change in the other two. (1985: 327)

Thus negotiation may permit adjustment of boundaries either pre-

ceded, accompanied or followed by an alteration in consciousness





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(1985: 323). What we have tried to do in this study is to provide, in

an inevitably limited way, an empirical model of this theoretical

conception, operationalized in terms of interpersonal skills, marital

communication and the domestic division of labour. As referred to

above, however, we were also interested in the interaction of these

factors with the more conventionally-analysed differentials in mate-

rial resources, and the combination of all these factors gives us the

following working model, in which both the theoretical concepts

and the corresponding measured variables (shown in italics) are

indicated:

Data and method

The model suggested above requires assessment of the association

between exposure to a particular ideological environment (thera-

peutic discourse) and relational resources capable of facilitating the

successful negotiation of change within intimate relationships. It

was hypothesized that women with the most systematic exposure to

such discourse would be professional women who came into contact

with it through their employment. In order to fairly compare access

to relational resources between women it was therefore necessary to

select other professional women as a comparison group. Hence theanalyses presented here are based on professional women with dif-

ferential exposures to therapeutic discourse.1 An additional consid-

eration in this selection was that the evidence for change in

domestic division of labour is currently still relatively limited, and it

is precisely among such groups of middle-class employed profes-



gender consciousness

relational resources(= interpersonal skills)

structural resources

(= material circumstances)

negotiation in maritalrelationships: possibility of

boundary shifting(= communication/domestic

division of labour)

Figure 1 Working model of relationships



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sional women that there is the most evidence in the literature for

increased levels of male participation (Edgell, 1980; Gilbert and

Dancer, 1992; Gershuny et al, 1994). By controlling in this broad

way for occupational status, a more refined analysis can be per-

formed, relating both to differences in exposure to institutional level

forces (therapeutic discourse) and to differences in relational and

structural resources (such as years in full-time employment). The

method of sampling was thus based upon theoretical considerations

relating to the underlying conceptual model (theoretical sam-

pling).2

The data presented come from a study conducted in England in

199192, further details of which may be found in Benjamin (1995).

Four groups of professional women were sent detailed mail ques-

tionnaires, and, based upon their responses to this questionnaire,

some were subsequently interviewed in depth. This multi-method

approach is, we would argue, important if one plans to work at dif-

ferent levels of analysis, and in the analyses presented below differ-

ent methods were used to address and clarify different parts of the

model outlined above. In general, the survey material was used to

investigate exposure to therapeutic discourse, self-assessed interper-

sonal communication skills, and changes in the pattern of the

domestic division of labour, while the in-depth interview material

was used to assess womens experience of detailed negotiation and

transformation of boundaries in respect both of marital communi-

cation and the domestic division of labour.

The initial consideration in the selection of specific groups of

qualified professional women for the survey was to attempt to max-

imise the contrast between women who come into contact with

therapeutic discourse as part of their professional lives, and those

who are materially similar, but whose contact with therapeutic dis-

course would only be informally based. On the basis of these con-

siderations marriage guidance counsellors (with strong professional

exposure in both training and practice to therapeutic discourse)

were selected to be compared with chartered accountants (with little

professional exposure). Head teachers (with as little professional

training as chartered accountants but the probability of more infor-

mal exposure) and social workers (with some exposure through pro-fessional training, but not so much as marriage guidance

counsellors) completed the range.

All the women were aged between 35 and 50. It has been argued

that at these ages the parenting of young children is less likely to be

exerting strong pressure towards forming traditional gender roles





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(eg La Rossa and La Rossa, 1984), and there is evidence in the psy-

chological literature to suggest that the mid-life years are particu-

larly amenable to change regarding gender roles (eg Friedman,

1993). Following an initial pilot exercise the mail questionnaire was

sent to 1140 women aged between 35 and 50 in the four different

professions, who were contacted via their workplaces or profes-

sional organizations. Information was sought on aspects of employ-

ment (including training involving communicative skills), financial

situation, relationship history, domestic division of labour in the

household (including attempts at change), feelings about current

relationships, exposure to self-help or psychology literature and

self-assessed interpersonal communicative skills. Altogether 408

questionnaires were returned (an overall 36% response rate within

the range to be expected from the initial return to a postal question-

naire survey ranging from 28% from head teachers to 51% from

chartered accountants).3

Table 1 shows the general characteristics of the sample in respect

of employment (full-time or part-time employed), age (under 42 years

or older), mean age of youngest child and current partnership status

(no current partner, first live-in partner or second live-in partner).

It is evident that there are some structural differences between the

different occupations in respect of these characteristics. Of particu-

lar relevance to a discussion of change in the domestic division of

labour is the fact that chartered accountants are on average

younger, while head teachers and social workers are more likely to

be employed full-time than are the other groups. According to the

literature on the relationship between structural factors and change

in domestic division of labour, we would expect to find a more equal

division of domestic labour in the households of younger and full-

time employed women (see, for instance, Gershuny, 1995). We

return to a discussion of this point in the following section of the

paper, and simply note here that although there are important

structural differentials between the occupational groups, the expec-

tations which we would have about the consequences of these differ-

ences based on the existing literature on structural difference and

the domestic division of labour are not borne out in any particularly

clear way in the analyses that follow.The depth interviews were conducted with women on the basis of

their responses to questions in the survey (including willingness to

be interviewed). According to responses to questions about

attempts to change domestic arrangements, six categories of women

were identified for interviewing. These ranged from those reporting





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successful attempts at change, through those unsuccessfully

attempting change, to those who reported never attempting change.

Altogether 28 women (13 marriage counsellors, 3 social workers, 2

head teachers and 10 chartered accountants)4 were interviewed in

detail about their relationships (focusing particularly on housework

and patterns of communication), their communication skills, their

attempts at changing aspects of their relationships, and their experi-

ence of processes of change where this had been attempted and/or

achieved. It was from these interviews that information about nego-

tiation and transformation of boundaries in marital communication

and the domestic division of labour was collated.



Table 1 General characteristics of the sample by occupation

Marriage Social Head Chartered

counsellors workers teachers accountants

% % % %

Part time employed 78 30 2 37

(103) (20) (1) (56)

Full-time employed 22 70 98 63

(29) (47) (54) (98)

N 100% 132 67 55 154

Mean of full time years* 14.5 9.8 19.0 15.0

Under 42 years 28 42 38 74

(37) (28) (21) (114)

42 and older 72 59 62 26

(95) (39) (34) (40)

N 100% 132 67 55 154

Mean age of youngest child 15.0 13.8 12.8 7.9

No present partner 9 22 27 8

(12) (14) (15) (13)

First live-in partner 70 51 58 77

(92) (34) (32) (118)

Second live-in partner 21 28 15 15

(28) (19) (8) (23)

N 100% 132 67 55 154

*Calculated only for women currently in full-time employment



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Findings

Therapeutic discourse and relational resources

The first connection within the proposed model relates to the extent

of exposure to therapeutic discourse, and the association between

this and the level of relational resources among the different groups

of women. The investigation of this association constitutes the first

step before moving on to investigate the relationship between rela-

tional resources and negotiation and boundary change in aspects of

the marital relationship.

Table 2 shows the proportions of the four groups of professional

women who had attended a relationship/interaction focused course

(including the marriage guidance training course, another coun-

selling or psychotherapy course and/or communication/assertive-

ness courses); had experience of personal or marital counselling;

and who had some familiarity with the self-help literature.

There are some strong relationships evident between exposure

and occupation. All of the marriage guidance counsellors received

the Relate counselling training course (including basic counselling,

supervision and education skills), which was considered to be thestrongest average indicator of exposure. On the other hand, nearly

80% of chartered accountants had no exposure to the various kinds

of courses recorded here. This major differential is reflected in the

other two types of exposure, with marriage counsellors being the

most likely to receive personal counselling (over 50%, compared to

9% of chartered accountants) and the most likely to have read sev-

eral self-help books (nearly 70% reporting themselves as having

read more than a few compared to just 3% of chartered accoun-tants). Social workers and head teachers occupy intermediate posi-

tions with respect to all three types of exposure, with social workers

tending to have higher levels of exposure than head teachers. With

regard to the translation of this exposure into relational resources

there is previous evidence to suggest that marriage guidance train-

ing in particular leads counsellors to adopt a more analytic

approach to their own marriages (Walker and Baird, 1988), which

in turn tended to improve some aspects of their marital relation-ships (Morgan, 1992; Walker and Baird, 1988). The qualifications

for social work in England is not as directed at counselling skills as

the training for marriage guidance, but nevertheless involves train-

ing in relevant areas such as communication skills, decision-making

and evaluation. Collins and Collins (1992: 57) have explicitly





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Table 2 Exposure to therapeutic discourse by occupation

a) Number of respondents who had taken various relationship related courses



Relate* training course

(basic counselling,supervision, education) 132

Assertiveness course 10 12 6 11

Communication course 9 3 13 12

Counselling course

other than Relate 20 13 1 10

Psychotherapy course 5 12 1

% of respondents whoreceived any of the above 100 60 38 21

N 132 67 55 154

*Relate is the name of the main marriage guidance organization in Britain

b) Number of respondents with exposure to personal and marital counselling



Had personal counselling 69 27 8 14

Of these who didnt have

personal counselling

had marital counselling 9 3 3 12

% of respondents who

received any of the above 59 45 21 17

N 132 67 55 154

c) Number of respondents reporting familiarity with self-help literature*



Read no such books 2 1 11 104

(2) (2) (3) (68)

Read only one 2 5

(2) (3)

Read a few 36 43 29 40(28) (70) (66) (26)

Read more than a fe w 90 18 4 4

(69) (29) (9) (3)

N 132 67 55 154

Of these who read any

% who reported it was

useful 81 48 32 29

*The numbers in brackets are the percentages of the relevant occupational category



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referred to the development of reflection, self-disclosure, challeng-

ing, emotional support and the promotion of change as part of the

social workers practice skills. In contrast, neither head teachers nor

chartered accountants receive any formal training in counselling or

communication skills (although opportunities for such training are

usually available to head teachers in the course of their careers),

with more stress in both professions increasingly being placed on

the development of management skills.

Following on from this, Table 3 shows the self-assessment (on a 5-

point scale) of interpersonal skills from the mail questionnaire for

the different groups of women. In accord with expectations based

on the above information on occupational exposure, marriage coun-

sellors and social workers reported higher levels of control than

head teachers and chartered accountants over the following skills:

effective communication of self-interest; effective communication in

delicate situations; awareness of own emotions and approval of

open conflict in relationships.

There is support here for the idea that exposure to therapeutic

discourse is distinctly different for women in different professional

occupations, and that this exposure is associated with the acquisi-

tion of the relational resources which we hypothesize are useful to

the negotiation of boundaries regulating aspects of the marital rela-

tionship.

Relational resources and change

Having indicated an association between exposure to therapeutic

discourse and the development of relational resources, Table 4 below

examines the main link in the model; that between levels of rela-tional resources and reported success in the achievement of change

in marital relationships. Change applies here both in the more con-

ventionally measured area of the domestic division of labour and in

respect of marital communication. The index of relational resources

used in the table has been constructed from five Likert-scale ques-

tions on the questionnaire which deal with interpersonal skills such

as how effective a woman feels she is at communicating her own

interests (see Table 3) and how easy she finds it to go against herpartners opinions/expectations. The index ranges from one to five,

and its overall mean is 2.8. The categories relating to attempts to

change aspects of the marital relationship are constructed with

reference to three dimensions for both marital communication and

the domestic division of labour: attempted/didnt want to change;





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success/disappointment following attempts at change; and degree of

partners cooperation in an aspect where change was not sought.

These categories are shown ranked in Table 4 according to the mean

relational resource score associated with each.6 The table shows that

no successful attempts to introduce change in either communication

or housework are found within the lowest eight category means (ie

where mean relational resources were less than the overall mean),

while in all the remaining categories except one, women reported

success in changing at least one aspect of their marital relationship

either the domestic division of labour or marital communication or

both (refer to italics in the table).

We have some support in the correlation shown in Table 4 for the

connection in the model between the level of relational resources

and the accomplishment of change in aspects of the marital rela-

tionship. But how might such change actually be achieved on the

micro-level? The qualitative interviews provide us with information

about change in the interactional context. In particular, they yield

insights into the negotiation of boundaries governing both commu-

nication (eg talk/no-talk zones) and housework (her responsibil-

ities).



Table 3 Comparison of means of self-reported interpersonal skills

by occupation

Mean for Mean for

MC and SW HT and CA T-Value

Effective communication of

self-interests 3.8 3.3 4.96**

Effective communication in

delicate situations 3.5 3.0 6.28**

Awareness of ones own emotions 4.1 3.6 6.51**

Approval of open conflict in

relationship 3.7 2.9 6.70**

N 199 209

Key: MCmarriage guidance counsellors; SW social workers;

HT head teachers; CA chartered accountants

(note: the means of the occupational groups are combined due to small sample

numbers)

**statistical significance of difference


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The negotiation of change: shifting boundaries

Authors in the field of marital negotiation emphasize its mostly

implicit and unspoken nature (eg Backett, 1982; Luxton, 1986;

Hochschild, 1989). Askhams 1985 study presented one possibleexplanation for this pattern: apparently, all marital conversations

exclude certain issues which are perceived by the couple (the man,

the woman or both) to endanger the relationship. Womens respon-

sibility for housework is perceived, within the context of traditional

gender ideologies, to be part of the cultural given. Explicit conversa-

tion on this topic is therefore both redundant and dangerous.

Discussing housework (outside the gendered allocation of com-

plaining entitlements, where women may complain about theirpartners failure to properly provide and men may complain about

their partners failure to provide them with appropriate services

Tomaskovic-Devey, 1989) is therefore tantamount to a challenge of

the relationship itself. In Hochschilds terminology it upsets the deli-

cate balance of the couples economy of gratitude (Hochschild,

1989).

The interviews conducted in this study support Askhams argu-

ment: most interviewees showed how they could not bring theirpartner to discuss certain issues, at least for a substantial part of

their relationship. For some of them this was because they had

assumed there would be a negative emotional effect on the relation-

ship, which they preferred to avoid. For others, this inability to dis-

cuss things had to do with negative past experiences. That is, events

in which they tried to voice their concerns and encountered a force-

ful attack, withdrawal or ridicule. Of the twenty-eight marital con-

versations which were described, seventeen excluded housework as atopic for open conversation. These cases included six interviewees

for whom housework remained excluded despite attempts to bring it

into the marital conversation. On the basis of this analysis and par-

ticularly because of the implications of this exclusion for the possi-

bility of change in this area, it seemed that a boundary in Gerson

and Peisss (1985) terms was being reported.

Housework was of course not the only issue excluded by a

boundary within the marital conversation. For quite a few couplesdiscussing topics related to the relationship itself was also impossi-

ble. Fifteen of the interviewees described their marital conversation

as regulated by this boundary, which excluded intimacy and emo-

tional support from the marital conversation. Seven of the women

who reported facing this boundary described events in which they





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Table 4 Means of relational resources index for 16 categories of

experience of change in marital situation

Experience of change in marital situation Relational resources index

Grand mean 2.8 N

Tried to change ddl. but remained disappointed,

didnt want to change com. cooperative partner. 2.0 6


didnt want to change com. despite lack of

cooperation. 2.4 11

Didnt want to change ddl. despite lack of

cooperation and tried to change com. but

remained disappointed. 2.5 41


cooperation and didnt want to change com.despite lack of cooperation. 2.6 19


tried to change com. but remained disappointed. 2.6 68

Didnt want to change ddl. cooperative partner,

didnt want to change com. despite lack of

cooperation. 2.7 10


didnt want to change com. cooperative partner. 2.7 18Didnt want to change ddl. despite lack of

cooperation, didnt want to change com.

cooperative partner. 2.8 23

Wanted and managed to change ddl., didnt want

to change com. despite lack of cooperation. 2.8 10

Tried to change ddl. but remained disappointed

and wanted and managed to change com. 2.9 30

Wanted and managed to change ddl. and tried tochange com. but remained disappointed. 2.9 40

Wanted and managed to change ddl. and didnt

want to change com. cooperative partner. 2.9 8


cooperation, wanted and managed to change com. 3.0 30

Didnt want to change ddl. cooperative partner

and tried to change com. but remained

disappointed. 3.0 11

Wanted and managed to change ddl. and wanted

and managed to change com. 3.0 49


wanted and managed to change com. 3.1 21

Key: ddl. domestic division of labour; com. marital communication



17/27

tried to challenge it but were unsuccessful. Their partners responses

protected the boundary against any attempt to shift it.

However, as was indicated in the previous section, some of the

women interviewed in this study did describe achieving what

could be regarded as a successful shift of boundaries. Issues (eg

housework) which earlier in the relationship could not be dis-

cussed were brought by the interviewees into the marital conver-

sation in a way which enabled that issue to be discussed, and

often this seemed to enable change in the related aspect of the

relationship. For seven women this process of shifting the bound-

aries involved the rejection of previous norms delegitimizing the

expression of anger. For example, one woman who succeeded in

achieving change said:

. . . You know good girls dont shout . . . I was a good girl. But

now, anything like . . . being late or breaking the rule of the house

or disobeying can raise my anger . . .

. . . with my first marriage we never raised our voices, we never

ever had a row or anything like that. But here we have wonderful

rows. Banging on the table. There isnt any . . . neither of us are

scared to show his or her anger . . .

In this household once banging on the table became a possibility, a

range of previously excluded issues appeared to become available

for discussion. The respondent felt that this possibility enabled her

to take a more active role in shaping the marital conversation, and

the concrete household arrangements which emerged from it.

Five other women experienced boundary shifting in respect of

housework as part of an increased awareness of the nature of their

communication with their partners. For these women often the most

important first change was that involving bringing their partners to

the realisation that a change in communication was needed. Once

their partners were convinced on that point, the old boundaries

around housework started to weaken. This example is illustrative:

Interviewer: I asked you whether you have been trying to change

the situation and you said you did. May I ask you how? Whatdid you do?

Communicated how I felt about it.

Interviewer: Like saying youre angry or what?

Yes, or like saying why is it always expected that I should do it?

you know I wasnt actually born with a hoover in my hand . . .





18/27

I think it was needing to get the message across that because I

do it it doesnt always mean to say that I like doing it . . .

The interview material shows that these efforts to get the message

across is a major part of the process by which boundaries are

shifted, and change can occur. The possibility of bringing previ-

ously excluded topics into the marital conversation enables women

to take an active role in shaping their domestic arrangements as well

as other aspects of their relationships.

An important additional element in linking changes of the kinds

described above to the possession of relational resources is the sub-

jective assessment of the respondents in respect of the reasons for

their success or otherwise in initiating change. Table 3 above identi-

fied that women with greater access to therapeutic discourse through

their work (marriage guidance counsellors and social workers)

report themselves as equipped with greater interpersonal skills. But

to what extent do women in these occupations attribute their ability

to negotiate and change aspects of their relationships to the impact

of the relational resources acquired through their professional lives?

These acquired resources were directly perceived by some women as

contributing to the successful negotiation of change in their maritalrelationships. For instance, of the thirteen marriage guidance coun-

sellors interviewed, three confidently related a significant change in

their marital relationships to their counselling training, while

another six described changes they had experienced as being related

primarily to individual therapy (often undertaken during or as a

consequence of the Relate training). Some descriptions of this

process include:

Interviewer: Why do you say that [your partner] has changed a

lot?

Because he was a lot more selfish maybe I was too but I

think he was, and Ive told him that, and these are the things

weve been able to discuss and communicate you see. (marriage

guidance counsellor)

So I was getting a lot of training from outside about feelings

and what makes us react to things. And I was able to use thatin my relationship. I was growing up because of what I was

learning from outside. (social worker)

So it seems that some women (9 of 13 marriage guidance counsel-

lors, for example) do directly attribute the accomplishment of





19/27

change to specific skills acquired through their professional careers.

This conclusion is supported in the survey data, where of 230

respondents who reported that it had become easier to go against

their partners expectations, more than half (N 130) related the

change to the impact of their occupational life. Of those who made

this connection, 60% were either marriage guidance counsellors or

social workers.

We cannot of course (nor do we wish to) claim any necessary or

invariant causality here. Some women reported that they were able

to use interpersonal skills acquired in this way in order to achieve

significant changes in both their marital communication and in

their partners participation in domestic work. However, there were

also a few women who received an extensive occupational exposure

to therapeutic discourse yet who perceived that they had failed at

introducing change at the concrete level of household arrangements

into their relationships despite trying (n 3). All these women had

low levels of material resources a point we will return to below. On

the other hand one woman (a successful chartered accountant expe-

riencing upward mobility in her profession) who had not received

any such exposure, reported that she had tried and been successful

in achieving change. This diversity at the level of individual house-

holds only illustrates the complexity of attempting to provide an

understanding of change in an area where dimensions of power,

intimacy, material resources and individual histories are deeply

embedded and mutually interconnected. We only hope to provide

some evidence in support of our argument that specific institu-

tional-level influences can play a significant role in the development

of individual relational resources, and that such resources constitute

one important element in the negotiation of change in aspects of the

marital relationship. Other elements are also of course significant,

two obvious examples being partners previous history of relation-

ships (there is increasing evidence that there may be more equality

in second marriages: Ishii-Kuntz and Coltrane, 1992; Pyke and

Coltrane, 1996; Sullivan, 1997), and the impact of structural factors

such as employment history and relative income.

Structural and relational resources

In illustration of the interconnectedness between some of these ele-

ments we return here to a question raised earlier concerning the rela-

tionship between structural and relational resources. There is in fact

an interesting inversion evident in this sample between levels of struc-





20/27

tural resources and those of relational resources. Marriage guidance

counsellors and social workers, who have the highest levels of rela-

tional resources, score lower than head teachers and chartered

accountants on a range of measures of material resources: income;

financial circumstances of the family of origin; number of years in

full-time employment; paid hours per week. It appears that high lev-

els of relational resources go together in this particular sample of

professional women with lower levels of access to material resources.

This relationship can be seen in Figure 2, where material and rela-

tional resources are graphed together with a more conventional indi-

cator of relative gender power in households; partners participation

in domestic work.7 A word of explanation is required about the cal-

culation of the indices. The index of relational resources is the one

introduced in a previous section (p. 807). The index of material

resources was based on four components: the respondents income;

the number of weekly hours in paid employment; the number of

years spent in the profession; and the financial situation of the

respondents family of origin. The index of partners participation is

based on a question which asks, for seven feminine-associated

tasks8 (Goldsheider and Waite, 1991), who does that task as part of

the daily household routine. In respect of the relationship between

material and relational resources, it can clearly be seen that those



*

**

*

*

75.3572.46

0.49

3.433.390.61

3.76

33.72

0.72

4.05

0.62

13.46

material resources

relational resources

partners participation

Figure 2 Relational resources, material resources and partners

participation in domestic work



21/27

professional groups with the lowest access to material resources are

those with the highest access to relational resources. When the index

of partners participation is added an interesting effect is evident.

There appears to be a slight positive association between the level of

material resources and partners participation over the first three

groups, but chartered accountants, whose material resources are the

greatest, report the lowest levels of partners participation. This raises

an interesting question, since in general in research in this area it is

found that higher levels of partners participation in domestic work is

associated with higher levels of womens material resources. There is

clearly a more complex relationship involved, to which other factors,

including relational resources and perhaps selection effects into dif-

ferent occupations (see, for instance, Crompton, 1996), are likely to

be making a contribution. Looking at the relationship between part-

ners participation and relational resources, the two professions with

the highest levels of relational resources have intermediate levels of

partners participation according to these indices, while head teach-

ers, with levels of relational resources equivalent to chartered accoun-

tants have in fact the highest levels of partners participation.

In the face of this somewhat inconclusive macro-level relation-

ship, we felt it to be important to directly consider the effects of

relational resources while holding constant a measure of material

resources in multivariate analysis. In other words, what is the effect

of relational resources on partners participation at different levels

of material resources? Table 5 shows an example of such an analysis.

The multiple classification analysis from a non-hierarchical analysis

of variance is presented, in which the measure of material resources

used is the number of years in full-time employment, while rela-

tional resources are dichotomised into low and high categories

(above and below the mean value of the index of relational

resources). The dependent variable is, as above, the index of part-

ners participation in domestic work. The adjusted deviations show

that, while holding constant the effect of years in full-time employ-

ment, there is still a significant difference in the expected direction

according to whether womens level of relational resources are high

(where the level of partners participation is found to be above the

mean) or low (where it is below the mean).In other words, irrespective of the material resources measured

where womens relational resources are higher their partners make

on average a greater contribution to domestic work. An examina-

tion of the category means shows that the difference is particularly

marked for those women who have been in full-time employment





22/27

for ten years or more. In other words, the impact of relational

resources is higher when the level of material resources is also high.

This reinforcement effect between material and relational resource

derives theoretical support from the assessment that: (gender) con-

sciousness . . . is the outcome of processes of negotiation and domi-

nation as well as the result of womens structural location.

. . . (It) influences processes of negotiation and domination, and

ultimately, the boundaries shaping gender relations (Gerson and

Peiss, 1985: 325) (our italics).

Conclusion

The main argument of this study is that the concepts of relational

resources and gender consciousness have an important contribution

to make to our understanding of processes of change in marital rela-

tionships. Although the evidence can only be considered prelimi-

nary, we found that women from occupational groups with high

levels of exposure to therapeutic discourse (in professional training,

personal counselling, reading etc) are more likely to report them-

selves as having acquired specific interpersonal skills through theiroccupations. Moreover, combinations of these interpersonal skills

(relational resources) were associated with the successful challenging

of normative boundaries regulating both the communicative sphere

within marriage and the material arena of the division of domestic

labour. Many women attributed such success to their professionally



Table 5 Multiple classification analysis from analysis of variance;

dependent variable index of partners participation in domestic

work

Grand Mean.62Adjusted

N Deviation Beta P-value*

Years of full-time work

No full-time experience 179 .09

Up to 10 years 59 .10

10 or more years 163 .13 .27 .000

Level of relational resources

High 240 .04

Low 161 .05 .11 .031

*See note 5



23/27

derived interpersonal skills, and in in-depth interviews some

described the process whereby they had achieved the successful chal-

lenging of boundaries through the use of such skills. In addition, the

possibilities of transformation in marital relationships in one of

these areas (the division of domestic labour) appeared to be influ-

enced by a reinforcement of relational resources and material

resources, such that those women with high levels of both material

and relational resources were more likely to have more participatory

partners.

In part, this paper was prompted by Gerson and Peisss call

(Gerson and Peiss, 1985) for more research into the processes by

which gender consciousness develops of recedes. Such conscious-

ness, according to Thompson, 1993, constitutes a central compo-

nent in our understanding of womens attempts at change, and in

connected here with the argument advanced by Giddens (1991,

1992) among others, that exposure to expert systems of knowledge

about self and relationships can serve to enhance reflexivity and

control over relationships with others. We have argued that the

accomplishment of change in these areas is connected to an

enabling gender consciousness, which may also derive from the

same exposure. The approach presented here therefore connects on

one level with research on gender ideologies and the transformation

of intimacy (eg Giddens, 1992; Cancian, 1987), and on another with

research on the links between housework and levels of intimacy/

communication at the individual household level (Thompson, 1993;

Zvonkovic, 1996; Sanchez and Kane, 1996; Pyke and Coltrane,

1996). We have recognised the complexity of the different levels of

analysis that are involved in a study of this kind by stressing

throughout the interconnectedness of the relationships between

resources, intimacy, power and their material expression in indica-

tors such as the division of domestic labour. We believe that it is

necessary to take on directly the challenge of doing research at the

interface of the institutional and interactional levels of analysis in

order to move forward in this area. This approach is, we believe, not

only justifiable from the theoretical literature on gender relations,

but is centrally constitutive though one only rarely taken on in

empirical studies.In terms of further research, while the analysis here has been

restricted to a specific group of women chosen for particular theo-

retical reasons, other models connecting possibilities of transforma-

tion in marital relationships relating both to gender consciousness

and to material and/or relational resources could clearly also be





24/27

postulated and examined. In addition little attention has been given

in this paper to the detailed relationship between the two aspects of

marital relationships examined (the domestic division of labour and

marital communication), despite the recognition that these dimen-

sions are strongly interconnected. The qualitative data suggest that

housework becomes negotiable in conditions where marital com-

munication provides a framework for the open discussion of house-

work-related feelings. More likely, though, the causal connections

are not as straight-forward as this implies, and further research is

needed in order to clarify these relationships. Finally, the examina-

tion of negotiation and communication in marital relationships

should of course ideally include information from both partners in

the relationship. In this study, since the particular interest was on

the acquisition of resources derived from specific discourses, it was

decided (for reasons of manageability) to focus only on professional

women. The analyses presented here therefore provide information

on womens perceptions of their experiences, but research which

included similar information for both men and women in other sta-

tuses would constitute an important further step in our understand-

ing of these processes.

Bar Ilan University and Received 20 November 1997

Ben Gurion University of the Nagev Finally accepted 16 March 1999

Acknowledgements

The author would like to thank Professors Julia Brannen and Jonathan Gershuny for

advice and inspiration.

Notes

1 We are aware that there is evidence for differential sorting into occupations, and of

the existence of different occupational subcultures (see Kanter, 1977). However,

as the analyses below demonstrate, there is evidence for the direct effect (at least as

perceived by the women themselves) of skills developed as part of occupational

training.

2 We have therefore tried to keep the use of techniques of analysis relying on statisti-

cal significance to a minimum, since their use implies probability sampling.

3 On the issue of whether the response balance attracted any specific pattern regard-ing attempts to change the division of domestic labour, results were compared to

previous studies concerning mens domestic participation, and in this respect the

sample resembled representative samples.

4 Marriage guidance counsellors and chartered accountants were focused upon,

since these were thought to provide the main contrast in respect to exposure to

therapeutic discourse.





25/27

5 Strictly speaking, the use of tests of statistical significance with a non-probability

sample is not justified. Readers should bear in mind that they are included here for

descriptive purposes only.

6 Although this classification produces a table with a large number of categories, we

did not want to lose the richness of the full description of womens successes anddisappointments in their attempts to change different areas of their relationships.

7 This indicator is used in order to be able to refer more directly to previous research

which deals with the relationship between womens material resources and the

domestic division of labour.

8 These tasks are: cooking, child-care, washing, cleaning, shopping, planning meals

and planning shopping.

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Documents

Orly Benjamin y Sullivan Oriel. “Relational resources, gender consciousness and possibilities of change in marital relationships”