Parshas Shoftim English

7/31/2019 Parshas Shoftim English

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Dei Chochmah LNafshechah Parshas Shoftim

3

Shalosh Seudos1ofParshas Shoftim 5766

"..."

You must give him the first of your shearing2

The Repentance of the LetterAlef

With the advent of the holy days of Elul, a Jew tends to think, Who will

guarantee that this time I will return to Hashem? Days and months have passed and I

have tried so hard to repent. Despite this, I am still very far from truly changing for the

better

Although one is obligated to find workable strategies to return to his Creator by

rectifying his actions every day, each person nevertheless feels that he cannot possibly

overcome his evil inclinationwhich re-gathers force against him every day. How can

anyone really stand up to such a challenge? By what stratagem can one finally rid

himself of hisyetzer hara?

Rebbe Nachman teaches that the first step through the gates of the repentance of

Elul is to accept the embarrassment and shame that every Jew experiences in silence.3

For the main goal of of tesuvah is to reach the level of Kesseras symbolized by the

letter alef. This is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet and represents the towering

level ofAtikah Sesimaah. [Literally, this is the Ancient Hidden One and refers to the

level ofChochmah withinAtik/Kesserthe higher level ofKesser.] In terms of ones

personal spiritual work, this signifies a deep inner repentance that brings to true and

lasting change.

1The lesson was delivered at the third meal of Shabbos.

2Devarim 18:4

3Likutei Moharan I:6


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There are two elements of teshuvah associated with the letter alef. The first is

that one must feel ashamed and embarrassed that he does not yet serve Hashem as is

proper and fitting. Failure to successfully navigate spiritual tests is the ultimate

humiliation and should cause one intense pain. We petition Hashem during our morning

prayers that He not bring us to the hands of a test or a shamingwhich indicates that

if one doesnt stand strong in a spiritual trial, one suffers severe embarrassment. Feeling

the pain of this embarrassment yet bearing it with dignity and patience, with the

understanding that such feelings of pain and frustration are from heaven to expose oneslimitations and bring him to humility, is the primary step toward true teshuvah.

The First of the Shearing

TheArizal writes that the verse, "" You must give him

[the kohen] the first of your shearing...indicates that the mitzvah of reishis hageiz

includes all of the mitzvos of the Torah. The proof of this is that the first and last letters

of the words for this mitzvah "" equal 613 and they allude to the 613 positive

and negative commandments of the Torah. [ +++ = 200 + 400 + 5 + 7 = 612 + 1

for the kollel, or for the word as a whole = 613]

4

To understand the deeper meaning of this, we must see that in order to fulfill the

613 positive and negative commandments which are an aspect of the six lower sefiros:

Chessed / Kindness, Gevurah / Might, Tiferes / Splendor, Netzach / Victory, Hod /

Glory, and Yesod/ Foundation. [They are also called the six directionsthe six limits

of three-dimensional space: north, south, east, and west, up, and down.] These six are an

aspect of the world ofAsiyah / Action [when compared to] the three Mochin [sefiros of

the mentalities] ofKesser, Chochmah, and Binah. These upper three are an aspect of

yichudor union with Hashem. [This signifies kavanah, spiritualized focus, which is thefruit of the mind. Kavanah in this sensse means deep contemplation and connection with

the soul of every act, as opposed to the body of the six lower sefiros which are in the

realm of action and can exist exclusive ofkavanah.]

4Shaar Hapesukim, Shoftim 18:4


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The Arizal writes that in Elul the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy are aroused.5

There are three aspects withinArich [the lower aspect ofKesser] from which a separate

Thirteen Attributes of Mercy emanates: Chivartei [the white area of the scalp that can

be seen between the individual hairs] which is associated with KesserofArich; Nimin

[the hairs] which is associated with Chochmah ofArich; and Diknah [the beard],

which is associated withBinah ofArich.6 It also emerges form the Arizals teaching that

Reishis Hageiz, the first of the shearing which consists of hairs, represents

Chochmah.

7

The reishis, the beginning of teshuvah, is accomplished through reishishageiz: the source ofChochmah.

In terms of our Divine service, this teaches us a very important lesson: Although

deep introspection is bound to fill us with shame at the limited nature of our attainments

and our vast limitations and character flaws, we must nevertheless use this shame to

completely nullify ourselves to Hashem. We should grasp that Hashem is really leading

us and will guide us on our path to teshuvah. A person who capitalizes on his

embarrassment in this way shines with the light of Binahand this sefirah is

represented by the numerical value of the Divine Name when written out in the " form: [ +++ = 20 + 15 + 13 + 15 = 63 = " ] The root of the word SaG

means retreat and implies shaming, as we find in the verse: ""

They shall be turned back, greatly ashamed...8

The first thing one must do when he falls into the quagmire of sin is to use the

light ofChochmah, symbolized by the Nimin or hairsofArich, to extricate himself and

climb back to his original level prior to the sin. The light of the SaG form of the Divine

Name shines forth from the Nimin or hairs which are the source of Chochmah.

[Although we said earlier that the SaG form of the Name is associated with Binah,attaining this higher level of the hairs is very much contingent on exercising

5See Shaar Hakavanos,Drushei Rosh Hashanah, Introduction

6SeeEitz Chaim, Shaar Arich Anpin

7SeeLikutei Torah, Shoftim

8Yeshayah 42:17


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discernment and undergoing an experience of limitation. This is itself symbolized by the

hairs, which represent constriction and limitation.] Chochmah parallels the Chayah

aspect of every soul. [Each soul consists of the three inner levels and two levels that are

too high to remain anchored in the body. The three lower levels ofNefesh, Ruach,and

Neshamah correspond to the levels ofMalchus, the six sefiros ofZeir Anpin, andBinah,

respectively. The final two aspects ofMakifin or surrounding levelsare Chayah which

corresponds to Chochmah, and Yechidah which corresponds to Kesser. The nature of

Chayah, the level discussed here, is expressed in the verse: "" Andthe chayos run and return...

9 This level of connection runs inside ones consciousness

and returns back out through the vessels of theNimin, the hairs.10

He Established the Earth with Wisdom...

The level ofChayah consists of an Ohr Makif (a surrounding light) and an

Ohr Chozer (a returning lightan allusion to the power of teshuvah). When one

confronts his meager avodah honestly [through Binah, discerning, his spiritual flaws],

he feels shamed. He can use this absolute feeling of humility to completely nullifyhimself before Hashem. The feeling of absolute smallness is represented by the chirik,

the smallest vowel which sits below the letter-line and is just a point. It is an aspect of

Malchus/ Kingship, the lowest and least of the sefiros. By going through this process,

one experiences the inner meaning of the verse: "" He established the

earth [Malchus, the earthiest of the sefiros11

] in wisdom [Chochmah].12

[The sefirah

ofMalchus is established by Chochmah; properly connecting toMalchus enables one to

access the heights ofChochmah.]

9Yechezkel 1:14

10See Chasdei Dovid, #2.

11ZoharIII:248a

12Mishlei 3:19


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Malchus is represented by the loweryudof theAleph [also just a point] through

which one ascends to the aspect ofMochin, the world of thought. One who reaches this

world truly grasps at all times that there is a Creator.

When one wishes to change his ways and realizes that this is truly beyond him

he can access the deep level of understanding that ein od milvado, there really is nothing

but Hashem, since he has finally grasped his own powerlessness. In this way, he

combats the aspect of Amalek that exists within every one of us and works to instill

doubt in Hashem. One who realizes that his every achievement is from Hashemneutralizes this impure force.

This is the meaning of the three great tasks that Rebbe Nachman explains relates

to the alef. The Talmud outlines the three tasks entrusted to Moshiach: to subdue

Amalek; to declare a King; and to build aBeis Hamikdash.13

When one wishes to enter

into the world of true faith, he must first overcome the inner force of Amalek that tells

him that he can do it all on his own without Hashem. When one finally overcomes this

barrier and rids himself of doubts, he is an aspect of the loweryudof the alef. This is the

mission of fighting Amalekwith which Moshe charged Yehoshua.

The Power of Powerlessness

This is the main element of the teshuvah of Elul. One must discard his image of

himself as one who can really change on his own. This can be achieved through

properly channeling ones embarrassment and shame at his limitations and small

spiritual stature. One who directs this pain properly draws down the light of the SaG

form of the Divine Name which is sourced in the aspect of the Nimin, the hairs of

Arich, and is the root of the aspect of Chochmah alluded to in the mitzvahofreishis

hageiz, the first of the shearing. The sheep itself is the paradigm of humble

13Sanhedrin 20b


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submissionLike a sheep before her shearers, she is silent and doesnt open her

mouth...14

The Arizal teaches that each hair, saarin Hebrew [ ], is actually a portal,

a shaar, to closeness to Hashem.15 [In Hebrew the letter shin which makes an sh-

sound and sin which makes an s sound are identical except for the reversed position of

the point above the letter.] By properly channeling the ache of ones shortcomings, one

comes to realize that he is like an infant who can do nothing without Hashem. In this

state, he doesnt feel any difference whether he advances quickly or slowly since heaccesses the towering level of true inner completion: the alef [of teshuvah, true

connection with Hashem, the Alufo Shel Olam] in an aspect ofAtikah Sesimaah. He

has internalized that only through truly turning to Hashem can he be rectified. This is

expressed by the quintessential statement of repentance through powerlessness:

"'" I called to You, Hashem, from the depths...16 When we know

that every hope for spiritual completion depends on turning wholeheartedly toward

Hashem, we will do so at every moment that we possibly can.

InLikutei Moharan I:6, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov goes on to explain that theword Kesseralso means to wait, as we find in the verse: "" Wait for me a

bit...17

This is meant to teach us that a person must have a great deal of patience when

he wants to change, and he must throw himself entirely on Hashems orchestration of

his life in trust that He will lead him on the path he needs to go. When a person lacks

this kind of patience, it is a sure sign that he feels that he has the power to accomplish

change on his own. However, when he nullifies himself completely to Hashem and turns

only to Him, he is gifted with the power of patience with his own process. Then these

lofty levels of the higher mental sefiros influence him to change his waysthe living

14Yeshaya 53:7

15Pri Eitz Chaim, Krias Sefer Torah, 5; SeeMachberes Hakodesh in the beginning ofShaar

Yetzias Mitzrayim.16

Tehillim 130:117

Iyov 36:2


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out of the Arizals teaching that the hairs of Chochmah descend and illuminate the

lower sefiros, which are the vessels of action.

The Expertise ofTeshuvah

This, then, is the first element ofteshuvah: to be an expert is recovering oneself

from a low state [this is the returning as opposed to the running of the chayos]. This

element is associated withMalchus [the least and lowermost], the world of the Throne

of Hashems Glory [because it is the foundation on which higher things rest], and thelowermostyudthat comprises the alef. As Rebbe Nachman explains, this is the silence

in the face of embarrassment, it is the quiet and humble acceptance of ones

shortcomings and powerlessness, which brings a person ultimately to wisdom. The

sages taught: Silence is a fence [syag = Sag] for wisdom.18

The light ofChochmah

descends through the vessels of the hairs through the power of the Name in the form

ofSaGwhich is the essence of discerning ones own powerlessness. Chochmah is

the foundation of the earth /Malchus.19

The second element ofteshuvah is entering into the mentalities ofZeir Anpin,which are associated with the upper yudof the alef. This element parallels the task of

building the Beis Hamikdash [just as the first element parallels the destruction of

Amalek].20 This second part of the process is associated with the Divine Name in the

" form, and symbolizes the running phase of growththe moving forward

propelled by the awareness of Hashems infinite nature, that there is no end to possible

growth. [This is a permutation of the NameEHYeH, which translates literally as I will

be and implies the ever-evolving state of being = 111 + 15 + 20 + 15 =

161 = " ] If I were to fly up to the heavens, there You are...

21

18Avos 3:16

19ZoharIII:248a

20Likutei Moharan I:6

21Tehillim 139:8


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After being silent in the face of ones failings (the lower yud), and rising

through the experience of shame (the middle-most vav), one approaches the upper yud,

which represented the person who sits upon the chair [or the more lofty states that are

founded on the lowlier basis of humbling experience]. This is a living demonstration of

the concept, I will be like that which is abovefor a person must strive to emulate his

Creator and contemplate just how he will come to serve Hashem completely. This is the

mindset associated with Moshe Rabbeinu and the building of the Beis Hamikdashthe

task that must be accomplished after destroying the force of Amalek as describedearlier. Now that Elul has arrived, one must see to changing ones ways for the better.

Hashem is the JudgeHe Lowers This One and Raises This One

When it comes to spiritual growth in general, we are told that a person needs to

be an expert at running and an expert at returningwhat the Zoharcalls one who

can go up and come down.22

And the order here is important, because generally one

first has to have an awareness of how endlessly far he has to go in his efforts to come

close to Hashem, and must never be complacent about what he has already achieved,otherwise he will never get anywhere at all. If he falls, he must know how to return

and strengthen himself to begin again no matter what. This two-phase process is

expressed by the verse in Tehillim: If I were to fly up to heaven, there You are; but if I

should lay my bed in hell, here You are.23

However, when we are speaking of the work of teshuvah more specifically, one

must begin with the expertise of returning. This means realizing that no created being

has the power to accomplish anything on its own, and that one must throw himself

entirely on Hashems power and wait patiently for change. Even if it takes a lifetime to

change ones ways, it shouldnt matter to him, since he trusts himself to Hashems care

completely. This will empower him to truly return to Him; he will be an expert at

returning.

22Zohar Vayakhel 213b

23Tehillim 139:8


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Although it seems counterintuitive, this element of repentance is actually of a

higher quality than that of running since it is rooted in Chochmah and not inBinah, as

running is more directly. Even though it appears as though the mentality level that

is accessed at the upper point of theyudis much higher, because its source is inBinah, it

is the loweryudthat really stems from the more lofty place. We see this expressed in the

verse cited by the Zohar HaKadosh: Hashem established the earth (Malchus) in

wisdom (Chochmah); He established the heavens (Mochin of Zeir Anpin) with

understanding (Binah). Although the heavens appear higher than the earth, theirspiritual roots are reversed.

Hashem is the judgeHe lowers this one and raises this one.24

He lowers

this onethe letters " and " and raises this onethe letters " and " .25

This is meant to allude to the fact that Hashem has lowered the aspect of the hei,

which is Malchus, and raised the aspect of the vav, which represents Zeir Anpin.

Although the ultimate goal is to rise to ever higher levels and to come to a lofty

awareness of Hashem, the truth is that the state of full self-nullification before Hashem

is of an exceedingly high quality. However, knowledge of this is kept in a state ofeclipse by Hashem because otherwise there is a danger that people will not drive

themselves to grow and change when they experience true bitul. For this reason, a

person must act as a judge and place the aspect of running uppermosthe must

drive himself to improveeven as he realizes deep inside that it is only awareness of his

own powerlessness that will fuel any real change. This was always the way of the true

tzaddikim, who sanctified their minds more and more during the days of Elul and the

high holidays. After reaching the state of full dependence on Hashems mercy, they are

able to rise to a refined awareness of just how to change their ways every year,

throughout the year.

Even though it is possible for a person to change through the aspect of

running, it winds up being superficial because he hasnt sufficiently grasped the

24Tehillim 75:8

25Zohar Rayah Meheimana 274b


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nature of his own powerlessness. That is only possible through the path of the lower

yud, the path associated with Yehoshua the student of Moshe Rabbeinujust as it is

impossible to build theBeis Hamikdash without first destroying the force of Amalek.

To illustrate this concept, Rav Tzaddok HaKohein of Lublin taught that while in

this world we consider a Torah scholar to be the person who has merited to learn Torah

for its own sake and master all of its subjects. However, in the ultimate world of truth,

the person considered a Torah scholar is he who has really yearned to fulfill Hashems

will and has turned to Him in prayer so that he will be worthy of the gift ofunderstanding that which he learns. In the world of truth, even if a person has mastered

the Torahs wisdom, if he hasnt come to true self-nullification before Hashem, he will

not be considered a scholar. This is a reflection of a teaching of Rebbe Nachmans: that

the path to Eretz Yisrael is loftier and greater than Eretz Yisrael itself.26

[Longing in the

state of self-nullification unites a person to the object of his longing in a spiritual way

that surpasses an external accomplishment of a personal aim.]

Let Your Soul Know WisdomThis is the meaning of: "" Let your soul

(nefesh) know (dei) wisdom (Chochmah) and it will be a crown (Kesser) for your

head.27

One must know that the level ofnefesh orMalchus really surpasses that ofZeir

Anpin, because the light ofChochmah shines into it.

When the month of Elul arrives, the main work is to develop expertise in

running and returningand it all begins with returning. As the verse says: With

this [zos] will Aharon enter the sanctuary...28 This refers toMalchus; when a person

wants to enter the true Divine service of repentance like Aharon on Yom HaKippurim,

he must enter with the aspect ofMalchus, of true self-nullification. The main way that

we come to this is through silently accepting the humiliations that are sent to us from

26Likutei Moharan II:78

27From the Shabbos zemerDror Yikrah, based onMishlei 24:14.

28Vayikra 16:3


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heaven through the agency of other people. The shaming comes from realizing that

years have gone by and he has yet to really change and achieve the spiritual goals that

he has set for himself. He has hardly begun to improve. When faced by this realization,

most people fall into despair and lose faith that they will ever come close to Hashem.

Elul arrives, and they lose their willingness to do teshuvah or resolve to change.

However, it is exactly from this state that it is possible to really make a new

beginningfrom the awareness of ones own powerlessness and dependence on

Hashem.Then he can rise to the level of, ...and it will be a crown /Kesserto your head.

After doing the work of destroying Amalek, the work of Yehoshua, one rises to the level

of the building of theBeis Hamikdashthe level of awareness of Moshe Rabbeinu. The

sages taught, He who has true holy awareness, it is as though the Beis Hamikdash was

built during his time.29

Then he will really be able to change and emulate his Creator,

and he will be able to discover all of the stratagems he requires to come closer to

Hashem completely. Then the holy days of repentance of Elul and Tishrei will be filled

with inspiration to improve his ways, and he will become a new and more pure person.This is the meaning of the apparently contradictory traditions that the third Beis

Hamikdash will descend to this world complete and perfected in an aspect of in fire

from the heavens,30 and that it will be built at the hands of men.31 Really, there is no

contradiction between themafter coming to the realization of our own powerlessness

and absolute dependence on Hashem, we are gifted with the ability to build the Beis

Hamikdash through out own labors.

May Hashem help us to make proper judgments during this month of Elul, to

realize that at its source, the attribute ofMalchus is much higher than that ofZeir

Anpin. May we be worthy of nullifying ourselves before Hashem completely, in an

aspect of the first of the shearingand may all of our efforts be for the sake of heaven

29Berachos 33a

30Sukkah 41a, and Rashis comments there.

31Mishneh Torah,Hilchos Melachim


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rather than our own sakes. May we realize our dependence on Hashem, and then merit

to receive the awareness of Moshe Rabbeinu so that we will know exactly what to do to

improve ourselves. Then we will be privileged to see the building of the Beis

Hamikdash and the revelation of Hashems glory before all, with the coming of our

righteous redeemer, speedily and in our days. Amen.

Translated and Adapted by Rav Micha Golshevsky.


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Explorations in Tanya Chapter VII, Part 2

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Sefer Tanya

Chapter VII, Part 2

Such is not the case, however, with forbidden foods and forbidden

coition [i.e. relations that defy the halchah], which derive from the threeklippos that

are entirely unclean. These are tied and bound by thechitzonim forever, and are

not released until the day comes when death will be swallowed up forever. As is

written, And I will cause the unclean spirit to pass from the land

What this means is that, if a person sinned and did rectify his sin through

teshuvah, even the suffering of Gehinnom will not help to uplift the vitality that he gave

over into the hands of the chitzonim. It will have to wait until the final rectification,

when death will be swallowed up forever. We can see from here just how important it

is to be aroused to teshuvah immediately.

Or until the sinner repents to such an extent that his premeditated sins

become transformed into actual merits

When a person falls into a sin within the realm ofnogah, even a lesser degree of

teshuvah can correct it. But if he did an actual sin then he remains bound to the

transgression and release is only possible through a greater teshuvah.

Which is achieved through repentance out of love, coming from the

depths of the heart, with great love and fervor, and from a soul passionately

desiring to cleave to the blessed G-d, and thirsting for G-d like parched desert

soil

The Baal HaTanya explains the nature ofteshuvah from love here, that it is the

search for dveikus with G-d and engaging in the contemplation of G-dliness.

For inasmuch as his soul had been in a barren wilderness and in the

shadow of death, which is thesitra achra, and infinitely removed from the light of

the Divine Countenance, his soul now thirsts [for G-d] even more than the souls of


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the righteous. As our sages say, In the place wherebaalei teshuvah stand, not even

the perfectly righteous can stand. It is concerning the repentance out of such great

love that they have said, The premeditated sins of thebaal teshuvah become, in his

case, like virtues, since they are the means through which he has attained this

great love

The Komarna Rebbe explains that when a person feels a great deal of dveikus

when he prays or learns, it is also a kind of teshuvah from love. At such moments, he

feels how far he is from Hashem, and this stokes his thirst and yearning for G-d. Sowhen a Jew feels dveikus at those times, he must hold himself to his avodah because it

can repair all of his sins, even those from previous incarnations. One must certainly first

do teshuvah from yirah, by confessing and feeling real regret, but it is not enough. It

must be combined with teshuvah from love in order to really break down the barriers

that exist between him and his Creator.

The sages taught, Anyone that observes the Shabbos in accordance with its

laws is forgiven all of his sins. The Apter Rav explains that Shabbos indicates dveikus,

and that is what has the power to tear down the walls that intervene between a Jew andHashem. This form of teshuvah from love is accessible to every single person, and can

be reached through relatively simple actions. This idea is echoed in the teaching of the

Vilna Gaon, that when a person learns for three hours straight at night and feels great

dveikus, all of his sins are forgiven.

In essence, the transformative power of teshuvah from love is when the sin

becomes a stepping-stone to holiness, in that it is the catalyst of the persons great thirst

for G-d. The sin left the soul in an arid wilderness; the parched realm of distance from

Hashem is what gives rise to the thirst and yearning for holiness.

The Zoharfocuses on the Torahs words, With this [ , the feminine] will

Aharon enter into the holy One enters into Divine service through the aspect of

Malchus [ , the feminine], and there are different manifestations ofMalchus. One is

its role asAteres HaYesod, the crown ofYesod, which is the capacity of visualization,


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or the holy use of the imagination. We can understand this idea by way of a parable; if a

person is walking through the desert, even for only half an hour, and he receives a

message that he will never be given water again, his thirst will be many times more

intense than that of a person sitting in his home, even if that person hasnt had a drink

for half the day. The thirst is in his imagination; his imagination tells him that he will

die of thirst in the desert.

Similarly, when a person sins a terrible barrier is thrown up between himself

and the light of holiness, and what happens to him next depends on the state of hisimagination. Most people, after they fall, are beset by despair. The sin instills a kind of

heresy into hima conviction that he has nothing to do anymore with the Divine light.

But when the sin makes him feel a great thirst for holiness and pained over his distance

from Hashem, and when he sees this barrier as a manifestation of G-dliness because it

will motivate him to teshuvah, then the Ohr Ein Sofcomes to shine upon him. Hashem

can certainly transform everything into good in an instant; even a person who violated

every commandment a hundred times over can be brought by Hashem to every form of

good in the world in a moment. The entire difference depends on the correct exercise ofhis imagination; he has to really feel and see that all of his distance from G-d was only

meant to make him feel more longing to return to Him.

This yearning opens the way for the light of Chochmah, which is the upper

yichud. With this shall he enter the holyholiness is the light of Chochmah, the

awareness that Hashem is in control of everything, even when a person sins. With the

force of his holy imagination, he will grasp Hashems nearness to him even after the sin,

and in this way he will feel overpowering yearning that will draw him closer to Hashem

again and bring him to the kodesh. This is why, even if he serves idols as they did in

the time of Enosh, if he observes the Shabbos it will all be forgivenif his sins bring

him to greater dveikus, then he will come to complete teshuvah and he can be a total

tzaddik.


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If a person does not hold strong to this thought, however, he will lapse into

thoughts of hopelessness and despair. Then it is as though the sin still clings to him,

because the despair is a product of the sin. Even if he does some teshuvah, it is not

enough to fully detach from the sin, and in that case his deliberate sins are only

transformed into inadvertent ones. They do not propel him into holiness.

The Zoharstates that the Torah has the potential to bring a person to teshuvah

from love, and that is because the Torah can provide a person with whatever he seeks. If

he wants to be a great man who gets a lot of respect, the Torah can make others honorhim. If he seeks power in the material world, the Torah can give it to him too. But if he

seeks only to draw closer to Hashem, the Torah certainly has the potential to make him

genuinely closer to G-d. This great potential is accessed by devoting oneself to Torah

study with mesirus nefesh; to learn with more energy than one really has, with a deep-

seated longing that the Torah restore him to Hashem. This will transform him, will fill

him with thoughts ofteshuvah from love, and purify his mind. The main path of study

with self-sacrifice is in reviewing, because learning something new provides a vitality

that is all its own. Real review isnt even reached during the first few times, because thattoo tends to reveal new information. It comes with learning something many, many

times, purely to embed it in the mind and for the mitzvah, without any new flavor in

the study. Such study is a living demonstration of the persons love for Hashem.

The sages said, Whoever learns without reviewing is like one who sows

without harvesting. It is the review that binds a person to the light of the Torah, that

allows him to access all of the spiritual facets and segulos of the Torahit unites the

surrounding and internal lights of the Torah so that it can really nourish his soul.

It is a mitzvah to do teshuvah every day, and especially at the morning prayers

every day because it is from the morning prayers that one draws spiritual vitality for the

entire day. The Meor vShemesh explains that this is the reason for the practice of

learning Torah before prayer. The kind of Torah study described here arouses the heart

to teshuvah by helping a person first feel the pain of his distance from Hashem; only


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then it is possible to pray properly. This is why it is so important to get up very early in

the morning, so that there will be sufficient time to study before prayer.

To delve into the concept of teshuvah ilaah really deeply, we need to first

discuss the creation ofyeish from ayinex nihilo. What is the nature of the tzimtzum? Is

the reality of the vessel really different from the light? At the beginning of the Eitz

Chaim, we learn that the primary vessels were formed from the denser aspects of the

light. [Note: This is explained at length in the lessons collected in Nesiv Chaim. The

basic idea is that when the first lights emerged in the world ofAdam Kadmon, theyafterward retreated, and the denser elements of the lights remained. They developed

into keilim, vessels.]

The Ramchal provides a parable that can help us to understand the nature of the

transition from ayin to yeish, from light to vessel. When we see a tree and we see its

fruits, we can understand that there is a relationship between the tree and the fruits. But

if we were to see pieces of gold growing from the tree, we would be confused, because

we cannot see a relationship between the tree [the origin/light] and the metal [the

product/vessel] even though we see clearly that the gold is emerging from the tree.[Note: The natures of tree and metal are so different, we cannot understand an organic

relationship between them. This is accurate, because it is really impossible.] Now, if we

saw light that had a 100 lumen intensity, and then another light with a single lumen

intensity, we could understand that they are both of the same type, and the latter is just

one hundredth of the former. If it was to be increased by 99 increments, they would be

equal. However, if that single lumen could be subdivided in as many fractions as it took

for it to lose any association with light as we know it, we would no longer be able to see

the relationship between them [even though it still exists]. Similarly, if we were to take a

fruit from a tree and cut it so finely that it was reduced to its most basic elements, we

would also not be able to see any relationship between those final products and the tree

that originated them, even though such a relationship certainly exists. And we would be

right in calling both the sub-particle of the light or the fruit by an entirely different


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name, because it would no longer have any observable relationship with its origins; it

would be like an entirely new entity.

Now, the parable teaches us that even though the original Divine light included

everything, the denser light gave rise to vessels that were not really new but only

seemed new, because their observable nature was so different. We call the new reality

yeish from ayin because the two seem so very different. When the original light shone

at its original intensity, the dense light that was the forerunner of the vessel was

subsumed within the origins brightness. But when that higher light was withdrawn,the denser nature of a part of the light [the one lumen, or the minute fraction of that

one lumen] came forward. When they were together, the potential for yeish was just a

part of the ayin. And when the ayin withdrew, theyeish crystallized.

Even though the downward development of vesselsyeish from ayin resulted in

the lower worlds ofBeriyah-Yetzir-Asiyah appearing distinct from that which is above

them, they are still a part of the place from which they originated. They are like a small

flame standing nearer to or further from a great blaze. If it is closer, it loses its

independent existence because it can hardly be called a fire in comparison to the blaze.If it is further away, it has its own identity even though its nature hasnt changed.

When the Baal HaTanya speaks ofhibonenus, he means focusing on Hashems

presence being everywhere, on Hashems light both surrounding and filling all worlds,

that no place is devoid of Him. Our failure to see this clearly is only due to our limited

perspective, not by any absolute truth. From the Creators perspective, His light is

everywhere, and it is the same in His placeeverywhereas it was before the

tzimtzum.

Now we can better understand a teaching brought earlier; to find release from

the barriers thrown up by sin, one should immerse himself in Torah study and focus on

the bedtime Shema. In Berachos, the sages taught, One should always incite his yetzer

tov against his yetzer haraand if not, he should recite Shema. When a person is

surrounded by the klippah because of the sin he has done and the barrier it has created,


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learning Torah is not necessarily enough. He needs to recite Shema, which the Baal

HaTanyabased on what he learned from the Maggid of Mezeritch, who received it

from the Baal Shem Tovinterprets to mean hisbonenus. [Note: Hearing is associated

with Binah-type contemplation.] Reciting Shema means looking around at the world

and seeing how creation is all a part of the Creator. It is one of the constant duties to

unify G-ds Namethis is the essence ofShemaand we do this by realizing that the

observable universe is not separate from the One who created it. This constant duty will

bring a person to fulfill all of his Torah obligations; it helps him to repair all of thedamage caused by his sins, because it is really teshuvah ilaah, the loftiest form of

repentance.

This teshuvah comprises two parts: the first, as explained earlier, is that it serves

as a springboard for a greater yearning for dveikus. In this way, the sin contributes to a

mitzvah afterward. The second is that, with the right contemplation, one realizes that

since the sin can fill him with greater yearning when he does teshuvah, there is also

Elokus there, albeit in a hidden way. This is an even greater revelation, because it

demonstrates that Hashem was there with him the entire time, that the barrier was itselfa manifestation of G-dliness. The dark and dry wasteland was actually not empty at all;

this awareness can even rectify the three klippos that are completely impure. This latter

avodah is very, very difficult though, and it is not effective unless a person immerses

himself in this hisbonenus for extended periods of time. He needs to work at his

recitation of the Shema day and night, until he fully grasps that there is nothing but

Hashem at any time, in any place, within any soul; everything that he has gone through

in his entire existence has always been a manifestation ofElokus. The deeper a person

enters into this avodah, the more of his sins are transformed into merits.

Of course, all this is after the person has actually done teshuvah in its simpler

sense and has ceased to sin. The deeper works explain that teshuvah from love is only

possible after having performed teshuvah from yirah, because one cannot skip levels

when it comes to spiritual growth.


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However, repentance that does not come from such love, even though it

is true repentance and G-d will pardon him, does not transform a persons sins into

merits, and they are not completely released from theklippah until the end of time,

when death will be swallowed up forever

The Yismach Moshe, Rav Yisrael Salanter and other tzaddikim taught that even

teshuvah from yirahwhen done publiclyhas the advantage of teshuvah from love.

This is one of the strongest points in favor of participating in mass gatherings that are

meant to stir the community to teshuvah, as well as the special added prayers andtikkunim that are done during Shovevim and other times. [Shovevim are the six weeks

from Parshas Shemos until Mishpatim; " is an acronym of the initials of the

parshios.]

Yet the vitality which is in the drops of semen that issue wastefully, even

though it has been degraded and incorporated in the three

uncleanklippos, nevertheless it can ascend from there by means of true repentance

and intensekavanah during the recital of the Shema at bedtime, as is known from

our master, the Arizal. It is implied in the Talmudic saying: He who recites theShema at bedtime is as if he held a double-edged sword,

1with which he slays the

bodies of the chitzonim that have become garments for the vitality which is in the

drops [of semen], so that this vitality may ascend, as is known to those who are

familiar with the Kabbalistic tradition. Therefore, the sin of wasteful emission of

semen is not mentioned in the Torah among the list of forbidden relations,

although it is even more grievous than they are. And his sin is greater because of

the enormity and abundance of the impurity andklippos which he gives rise to and

magnifies to an exceedingly great extent through wasteful emission of semen, evenmore than through forbidden relations. The difference is that, in the case of

forbidden relations, he contributes strength and vitality to a most uncleanklippah

from which he is powerless to uplift the vitality by means of repentance

1Berachos 5a


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[Note: The reason being that this vitality has been absorbed by the female

Yesod-element of the klippah, which receives and absorbs the vitality from holiness.

Not so with wasteful emission of semen, where there is no obvious female element

of klippah,and only its powers and forces provide the garments for the vitality of the

[wasteful] semen, as is known to those familiar with the Kabbalistic tradition. For this

reason, it is easier to repair the damage through the recitation of the bedtime Shema.]

Unless he repents with such great love, that his willful wrongs are

transformed into meritsOn the one hand, damaging the area of bris is the most serious of all sins

because it multiplies the extent of impurity in the world so much more than other sins. If

a person does not repent, he will suffer terribly for it later. Nevertheless, teshuvah from

yirah can repair the damage, and in this sense it is less grievous than forbidden relations.

Once a forbidden relationship has generated a being with a body, it is far more difficult

to repentfor this, one must reach the level ofteshuvah from love. (Even so, the Mittler

Rebbe did say that a genuine teshuvah fromyirah will cause the mamzerto dieit will

deprive it of its vitality.)From the above, one may understand the comment of our sages:

Which is a fault that cannot be rectified?having incestuous intercourse and

giving birth to amamzer.2

For in such a case, even though the sinner undertakes

such great repentance, he cannot cause the [newly created] vitality to ascend to

holiness, since it has already descended into this world and has been clothed in a

body of flesh and blood.

There are people who think that they are really far from such awful sins, but that

is only because they are not sufficiently aware of the damage caused by bad middos.

The Baal HaTanya explains in another place the sages praise of the Jewish people,

How goodly are your tents, O Yaakovthat their openings did not face one

anothers, really refers to each persons openinghis mouthnot being open

2Chagigah, Chapter 1


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against his fellow Jew. We know that the sins of slander, character assassination, the

pride that is gained at the expense of another persons honorall sins of the

openingare very real aveiros. In fact, they are considered to be the most serious

types of sins. A person who habitually rips into others is not fit to receive the Shechinah;

better that he should throw himself into a burning furnace than publicly humiliate

another Jew. And, even so, how common are such sins?

Each and every person is filled with the bad middos with which he was born,

and we all have endless cheshbon nefesh to doa great deal of hisbonenusto seewhere our moral flaws lie. The damaged character is far harder to identify than the more

obvious sin; a person could see himself as filled to the brim with Torah and prayer and

still indulge his lowest impulses at the expense of others without realizing the extent of

his guilt. When he approaches his final judgment, he will be shocked to discover how

much he had sinned throughout his life, and in failing to recognize his flaws he also

failed to repent and repair them.

Sometimes a person feels as though he has no place in the world, as though he is

a wanderer without a real home. Rav Tzaddok Hakohen explains that this is his duepunishment for having committed a sin akin to murderfor humiliating another Jew

publicly. We know that Kayin expiated the murder of his brother by being sent to

wander the earth. The more subtle manifestation of this is a feeling of displacement that

just does not go away.

The truth is that these interpersonal sins are rooted in pride, because the ego is

boosted at the others expense. The remedy for this is Torah study and the study of

Kabbalah. In either case, the earnest student learns early on that he has to invest a great

deal of effort and time, and he still does not necessarily understand what he is learning

clearly. It is a humbling experience that forces him to develop his capacity for

hisbonenus-type contemplation, because without delving and pulling his study apart and

putting it back together, and seeking the connections that exist between the disparate

seeming things he learns, he will not grasp anything. This is as true of Kabbalah as it is


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of the revealed Torah, since the study of the Torahs inner dimension feels, at first, to be

disconnected from the world of his personal avodah. It just seems theoretical, without

any connection to his inner life. But this is only at the beginning, before he has

developed his power ofhisbonenus.

There is a story about the Sfas Emes, that when he was a young man he

approached his grandfather, the Chiddushei HaRim, and asked that he teach him

Kabbalah. The Chiddushei HaRim told him to begin learning on his own, and to come to

him if he had any questions. So the Sfas Emes began to learn the Arizals teachings, andas he learned throughEitz Chaim he wrote down question after question. When he came

to his grandfather with a sheaf of questions, the Chiddushei HaRim said, If you say

you labored and you found what you sought, you can be believed. Learn through

everything again and then come to me with your questions.

The Sfas Emes went back and learned through it again, and found that some of

his questions had resolved themselves. He then approached his grandfather as before,

and received the same response, so he went back and learned it again. This happened

time after time, until it was clear that the Chiddushei HaRim never intended to answerthe Sfas Emes, but only intended that he review and work at the concepts over and over

again, until he merited to understand the concepts himself.

While its true that Torah lectures are excellent at the start, nevertheless a

person must get used to having to sit and struggle and work through concepts on his

own until he has them clear. This is the root of the axiom, If you struggled and attained

it, you can be believed. It is certain that Hashem wants to reveal His Torah to every

single Jewish soul, and if a person really works he is sure to gain understanding. The

work is the most basic level ofhisbonenus. Critical as it is, though, it still does not have

the power to transform a persons middos or his nature.

The Zoharteaches that there is a point within the chamber [like the dagesh

within the first beis ofBereishis], and the soul is constantly seeking this innermost point

of G-ds glory that is hidden within the chamber of this world. To do so, one begins by


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developing the capacity to contemplate the Torah and struggle to find its meaning.

Later, one expands on this ability and applies it to everything elseall of his

circumstances, all of the reality that surrounds him, all eventsto reveal G-dliness

within everything, including within himself. It is not only a power of reasoning or of

contemplation; it requires the ability to pause and really reflect on that which is before

him, and not to rush headlong through life superficially.

A person must devote himself to this kind of focus at least during his recitation

of the Shema and his Shemonah Esrei. He must review over these ideas time after timeand reflect upon them, and this will bring Binah [hisbonenus] down to the level of the

practical and actual, which isDaas. In this way,Binah gives birth toDaas, because the

contemplation is more than just a matter of holding onto a dry thought; it gives rise to

emotion, it is alive for him and within him, and he lives it. Binah isImma Ilaahthe

Supernal Motherbecause it gives birth to a new way of living that carries the

person throughout his day. He is not in hisbonenus all day, but rather lives with the new

Daas, with new levels of love and fear of Hashem, generated byBinah.

Ultimately, every person really does need to feel his own self, but if his senseof self is divorced from the Divine Self, it will get him into trouble. The individual ego

drives a person to act out his bad middos, but the more ones sense of self is rooted in

his source in Hashem, the less possible it is for him to cause offense to anyone else.

The study of Kabbalah is most effective for enhancing ones spiritual growth

and service of G-d because its speaks of nothing but Hashem. And if a person studies

the works of the Arizal and forgets his Creator, then what has he gained? The entire

purpose of studying Kabbalah is to increase ones emunah and dveikus. This is why it is

important to stop at intervals just to think about Hashem. [This is also the pause of

hisbonenus.] The beginning of the Otzros Chaim [teachings of the Arizal] includes a

diagram of the four major permutations of the Shem HaVaYaH[ ",","," ]and

the kavanos ofmesirus nefesh through the four forms of the Biblical death penalties.

This is meant to prepare a person to truly study, and such mental reorientation is


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necessary throughout his study too. After every thing that he learns, he should go back

and review; go back and reflect upon Hashems existence.

The main means of sanctifying ones thoughts is through focusing them on

spiritual matters. The writings of the Arizal help a person embark on the path of

purifying his imagination [since you cannot contemplate spiritual realities except by

way of the imagination]. One must therefore bind his thoughts to Hashem as he

studiesto think about the Ohr Ein Sofand the tzimtzum and the kav [that draws the

surrounding light into the space of the tzimtzum so that it can be accessed here]. Onebegins to see and feel that everything he is studying is really just a spiritual image or

form that Hashem has revealed within the Torahs secrets, and this helps to bind him to

G-d. It refines his mind so that he can achieve dveikus with Hashem.

Translated and Adapted by Rav Micha Golshevsky.

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