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8/14/2019 Quotes From The Cyberworld - O
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/quotes-from-the-cyberworld-o 1/5
quotes: o
Everything is proceeding to plan. Lee and Dave are in the mini-sub preparing to take out
the Thames Flood Barrier at full tide. I am in Mountain View, hurrying around in a
MAE-WEST with a fast-depleting knapsack of Semtex hanging jauntily from myshoulder. Across the world, Y2K consultants are beginning to feel the effects of the
powerful time-release hallucinogen we secreted onto the pages of "COBOL for
Dummies" back in 1997. These last few days have left little time for love, laughter or editorial conferences, so we hope you'll make do with this seasonal quiz based on the last
years' events. We hope it will take your mind off the the sounds of the angry peasant
mobs milling outside your offices. Answers next week: first correct entry after midnightgets two week's supply of Evian and six vials of the emergency vaccine. In Year Zero,
suckers!
-Danny O'Brien, Need To Know News
In these terrible times, it's good to watch the tech community put its problems aside, andsupply what we were all so desperately short of: plenty of wild unsolicited opinions.After those first few hours of awful shocked silence - what a relief to be interrupted by
the CEO of CoffeeCup Software, producers of an innocuous Windows HTML editor, e-
mailing his 1.2 million customer base to "call for the country's complete destruction andannihilation". And at the end of that fateful day, noted hacker Eric S. Raymond rained his
thoughts like fresh water, revealing that those who "disarmed all the non-terrorists on
those airplanes ... bear some moral responsibility". Thanks too to BYTE's Jerry Pournelle,who slowly toughened his demands from an early request that /usr/bin/laden be handed
over "bound and chained", to Thursday's demand that Nablus, Gaza, Baghdad and
Damascus be razed to the ground; to the Evening Standard infowar expert who warned
that "inflamed young men" could escalate the conflict by releasing "cyber viruses,crashing our computers ... from council houses in Bradford"; and kindly John Keegan in
the Telegraph, who wrote that ISPs should ban encryption among their users, and those
who refused must be "destroyed with cruise missiles". And on through the lonely nights,as net.folk on chat traded credulous rumours and confused geopolitics, and Nostradamus
buffs mulled seriously over a quatrain that, sadly, was probably invented by a skeptic to
show how any random phrase could end up a doomladen prophecy. But be assured thatthe crisis is not yet over. Please help: opinions are still desperately needed - and bloggers,
columnists and sleep-deprived newsreaders are running short of ideas. So: do you have
some minority you'd like to haphazardly blame? Some half-arsed genocidal theory you'd
like to insist become global policy? Some simplistic demonisation of a country's recent
history that needs to be waved in the faces of everyone you know? Mail it to our hotlineon [email protected], and we'll pass it on to those who must fill the useless silence
which would otherwise be wasted on slow, methodical grief.
-Danny O'Brien, Need To Know News
8/14/2019 Quotes From The Cyberworld - O
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Still, at least Denise "Starship Troopers" Richards dresses up as Lara Croft for no readily
apparent reason...
-Danny O'Brien on The World is Not Enough
When the the London Stock Exchange trading computers crashed just at the point that the
US stock market bubble wobbled, it's tempting to see more than the usual invisible handmanipulating the market. Was it truly incompetence on an unparallelled scale, or could
this "accident" have been a deliberate denial of service prevent further instability? Well,given Andersen Consulting's involvement, we're assuming the former.
-Danny O'Brien, Need To Know News
A system admin's life is a sorry one. The only advantage he has over Emergency Room
doctors is that malpractice suits are rare. On the other hand, ER doctors never have to
deal with patients installing new versions of their own innards!
-Michael O'Brien
We live in a dangerous Age. To say how you feel is to lay your own grave
-Sinead O'Connor
I know you lived in France but that doesn't mean you know everything.
-Frank O'Hara
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage
boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke
Making fun of born-again christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle
and scope.
-P.J. O'Rourke
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're
looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should testthem for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
-P.J. O'Rourke
The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-P.J. O'Rourke
Writing on a computer makes saving what's been written too easy. Pretentious lead
sentences are kept, not tossed. Instead of sitting surrounded by crumpled paper, thecomputerized writer has his mistakes neatly stored in digital memory.
-P. J. O'Rourke
8/14/2019 Quotes From The Cyberworld - O
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slack off... my life is so much better now that I don't have something as silly as classes
getting in my way
-Erik Ogan
They are seldom found out, because they gravitate to the kind of clients who, bamboozled
by their rhetoric, do not hold them responsible for sales results. Their campaigns findfavor at cocktail parties in New York, San Francisco and London but are taken less
seriously in Chicago. In the days when I specialized in posh campaigns for The NewYorker, I was the hero of this coterie, but when I graduated to advertising in mass media
and wrote a book which extolled the value of research, I became its devil. I comfort
myself with the reflection that I have sold more merchandise than all of them put
together.
-David Ogilvy
When I write an advertisement, I don't want you to tell me that you find it 'creative'. I
want you to find it so interesting that you buy the product. When Aeschines spoke, they
said, 'How well he speaks.' But when Demosthenes spoke, they said, 'Let us marchagainst Philip.'
-David Ogilvy
Also, to answer the question "When will the new spreadsheet be ready for use?" The
answer is about five or six weeks, although it may appear to you to be as long as three
months, since, like all programmers, I am travelling at relativistic speeds.
-Drew Olbrich
Another industry secret is that "Schindler's List" was created entirely on a sound stage in
Burbank by one camera man, three actors, and a dozen guys using a custom version of
Photoshop.
-Drew Olbrich
At the suggestion of my reproductive system, I suggest that we create a new bboardcalled "I left my penis logged in."
-Drew Olbrich
C++ is like jamming a helicopter inside a Miata and expecting some sort of improvement.
-Drew Olbrich
I hope this doesn't disrupt the trendy "The World Sucks, Everybody Sucks; Well, Maybe
Not As Much As I Do; I'd Like To Suck More Than You Do, Really I Would; Hey,Sucking Any More Would Be An Improvement"... attitude.
-Drew Olbrich
8/14/2019 Quotes From The Cyberworld - O
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I love stress because it's a whole lot better than depression.
-Drew Olbrich
It's all about getting off the planet.
-Drew Olbrich
My inner child is toting an Uzi.
-Drew Olbrich
Sometimes, I'm not so much fishing for compliments as snorkeling for criticism.
-Drew Olbrich
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.
-Ken Olsen, President, Digital Equipment, 1977
We really need it because Microsoft keeps releasing sloppier and sloppier software that
needs a faster and faster machine.
-Ken Olsen
By the way, if you do mention Pez and my wife, also mention that she's a managementconsultant and has a master's degree in molecular genetics, OK?
-Pierre Omidyar, who founded eBay to help his wife collect Pez dispensers
We're selling more than a cracker here, We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of
happiness.
-The Onion
If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky that would be like thesplendor of the Mighty One... I am become Death, the Shatterer of Worlds.
-J. Robert Oppenheimer, quoting "The Bhagavad Gita", 1945
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds and the pessimist knows it.
-J. Robert Oppenheimer
We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried.Most people were silent.
-J. Robert Oppenheimer
8/14/2019 Quotes From The Cyberworld - O
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Leaving behind the OS X user interface is like leaving London - you don't realise what a
constant, nagging annoyance it is - like having a 24 hour toothache - until you've left
town.
-Andrew Orlowski
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep intouch.
-Robert Orben
Unfortunately, mathematics is about theory. Your question actually has practical
appliations. I can't really answer it.
-Alejandro Ortega
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on the human face --
forever... And remember that it is forever.
-George Orwell
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-George Orwell
Something else I'd like to do eventually is add the ability to supply the URL for an imageyou'd like to beat up on when you tire of thinking about killing Britney Spears (not that
that is likely to happen), then the server would fetch the image and allow you to use the
same set of weapons on it. This would let people ''cross-examine'' their thesis advisors,etc.
-Gerald Oskoboiny
My CPU can beat up your CPU with both its FPU's tied behind its MMU!!
-Lamar Owen
Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one
pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.
-from Oxford Union Society rules