Rabbi Bruce R. Booker

An Exhortation Towards a Healthy Messianic Marriage

The Lord’s Prayer- Matthew 6:9-13

Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power and the Glory forever.

Introduction

“…On Earth as it is in Heaven…”

“Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.”

1 Corinthians 14:33

“…for God is not a God of unruliness but of shalom.”

Here, Scripture Tells us That

God is not the Author of Confusion, but of Order.

So, it is God’s Will is that there Will Be Order

In His Kingdom

The Highest In the Order of Heaven

Is God, Himself

God is the Head of the Messiah

1 Corinthians 11:3 “…and the head of the Messiah is God.”

Then There is an Angelic Order in Heaven

1) Seraphim (singular "Seraph"), Mentioned in Isaiah 6:1-7, are the highest angelic class and serve as the caretakers of God's throne and continuously shout praises: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts. All the earth is filled with His Glory."

2) Cherubim

Cherubim guard the way to the tree of life in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:24) and the

throne of God (Ezekiel 28:14-16).

The cherubim are mentioned in Genesis 3:24; Exodus 25:17-22; 2 Chronicles 3:7-14; Ezekiel 10:12–14, 28:14-16; 1 Kings 6:23–28; and Revelation 4:6-8.

3) Archangels

It derives from the Greek archō, meaning to be first in rank or power; and angělǒs which means messenger or envoy.

The word is only used twice in the New Testament: 1 Thessalonians 4:16 and Jude 1:9. Only Archangels Gabriel and Michael are mentioned by name in the New Testament.

4) Angels The "angels" or malakhim, i.e. the "plain" angels (i.e. messenger or envoy), are the lowest order of the angels, and the most recognized.

Then What ARE We Praying For?If We Pray as He taught us: then what we ARE praying for is that His Will is to be done here on Earth as it is in Heaven!

That being True:

Since there is a Heavenly Order of Things…

Then it is Especially True

With regard to the Order He set in the Marriage Covenant, which is the earthly Representation of His Marriage Covenant with US as His People!

He HAS Set an Order to This Marriage Covenant on Earth:

In Establishing the Order of what We Must Follow as a Husband or a Wife in our Marriage Covenant Here on Earth with Each Other!

Let’s Go to the First Part of the Passage of 1 Corinthians 11:3

“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is the Messiah, and the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of the Messiah is God.”

If In Heaven or On Earth

God’s Order of His Kingdom is VIOLATED, then there is Confusion,

DISORDER and a loss of Shalom (peace)!

So, if We Are a Husband or a Wife

And we REFUSE to obey the Order that God has Established for a Marriage Covenant, then we are RESISTING God, NOT Simply our Spouse!

Let Me Break it Down: If You Are a Husband and/or Father

Yet you REFUSE to be the Head (spiritually and physically) of your Household (or you have Relinquished your position to your Wife and/or children):

Then You are RESISTING God’s Order in the Marriage Covenant and you should not wonder why your household does not have

Shalom!

BUT Wives:

If You have USURPED the spiritual and/or physical Headship of your Husband…

…then You are RESISTING God’s Order for the Covenant

Relationship of Marriage that God set up.

And you should not wonder why in your home there is NO Order

or Shalom!

Now, Some Wives HereHave husbands who are NOT believers in God or in His Son Yeshua and are asking, “Well, what should I do, since my husband obviously is NOT the spiritual head of our family?”

Kefa (Peter) Answers that in 1 Peter 3:

1 In the same way, wives, submit to your husbands; so that even if some of them do not believe the Word, they will be won over by your conduct, without your saying anything, 2 as they see your respectful and pure behavior.

God Designed Us

And He wrote the Owner’s Manual for us to follow in ALL

areas of our lives!

When We Violate His Manual, the Bible

We open ourselves up to confusion, the lack of peace, and

a difficult life.

Part 1

The Basic Family Unit

THE FAMILY: One Man/One Woman

A basic family unit is composed of one man and one woman united in the Covenant bond of marriage for as long as they live.

The Covenant of Marriage:

One Man/One WomanFor LIFE!

Regarding The “D” Word

The “D” Word Should NOT be in the Vocabulary of a God-Centered Marriage Covenant between a husband and his wife!

When Yeshua Was Asked if a Man Could Divorce His Wife for Any Reason, He Answered:

Matthew 194 He replied, "Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, 5 and that he said, `For this reason a man should leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two are to become one flesh'? 6 Thus they are no longer two, but one. So then, no one should split apart what God has joined together."

7 They said to him, "Then why did Moshe give the commandment that a man should hand his wife a get and divorce her?" 8 He answered, "Moshe allowed you to divorce your wives because your hearts are so hardened. But this is not how it was at the beginning.”

I recently heard of a quote attributed to Ruth Bell Graham, the wife of evangelist, Billy Graham, when asked if she had ever considered divorce in the many years of their marriage; her tongue-in-cheek answer came to mind on my completion of this book: "Murder - yes; divorce - never!"

If I'd Killed Him When I Met Him Sharon McCrumb

So, That’s It!

The Family Unit BEGINS WITH a Man AND a Woman!

The Reason for the Creation of Woman:

In the Creation account of Scripture in B’reshith Aleph (Genesis 1), He said “Tov” (Good).

However, there was only ONE proclamation in the ENTIRE Creation account of B’reshith where He said,

“Lo Tov” (“Not good”):

B’reshith Beth (Genesis 2)

18 ADONAI, God, said, "It isn't good that the person should be alone…

“…I will make for him a companion suitable for helping him."

kə·neḡ·dōw ‘ê·zer

Helper Suitable

“Helper…” - Ay-zer

help, succour one who helps

Strong's Number:  05828

‘ezer• The word 'ezer means “helper” and is never

used in the TANAKH to refer to an inferior or to a subordinate.

• In fact, the word is used in reference to God as our helper (Psalm 10:14; 30:10; 54:4; 70:5; 72:12; 121:2). Clearly God is not our subordinate.

• Ezer is a sign of strength and power.

“Suitable” – from Neged

what is conspicuous, what is in front of

•in front of, straight forward, before, in sight of, opposite •what is in front of, corresponding to

Strong's Number:  05048

“…Conspicuous…”

Just by looking at these figures, you can tell they

belong together!You don’t need words to

make the connection!

KenegdoKenegdo is a Hebrew preposition and adverb meaning “corresponding to” so it is best understood as meaning that Eve was a fitting partner for Adam, for she was like him.

So, Let’s Tie it Together“...in Genesis where it talks about the ‘helpmeet,’ the Hebrew is not just 'ezer‘ (help), but 'ezer kenegdo', which literally means ‘the help opposite to.’

Thus, God solved the loneliness of the Man…

…by giving him, not merely an assistant (help), but giving him a companion suitable in the journey of life.

B’reshith 221 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."

United as One

B’reshith 2:24 “This is why a man is to leave his father and mother and stick with his wife, and they are to be one flesh.”

“Basar Echad”

One Flesh - The Hebrew phrase " basar echad" means

"one flesh" or "one body."

Part 2

Marriage: A Covenant Relationship

God Gives Us the Earthly Marriage Covenant

So that We Can Understand Better the Covenant Relationship He has with Us!

In Jeremiah 31:31-33

God at least believed the Covenant He established with Israel at the Mountain was a Marriage Relationship!

31 "Here, the days are coming," says ADONAI, "when I will make a new covenant with the house of Isra'el and with the house of Y'hudah. 32 It will not be like the covenant I made with their fathers on the day I took them by their hand and brought them out of the land of Egypt; because they, for their part, violated my covenant, even though I, for my part, was a husband to them," says ADONAI.

“…On Earth as it is in Heaven…”

So, in the Marriage Covenant we have with our Earthly spouse He allows us but just a touch of Heaven here on Earth!

Marriage is a Covenant Relationship

If Both the Husband and the Wife follow the Biblical Principles of the Marriage Covenant…

They will “work together” in accomplishing the commandment that God gave them in Genesis 1:28 God blessed them: God said to them, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea, the birds in the air and every living creature that crawls on the earth."

We, as Husbands and Wives Can Either Work Together

Or Work OPPOSITE of One Another!

For Those of Us Who Are MarriedExamine your current marriage relationship with your spouse and ask yourself the question: “Which way are my spouse and I working: Together or Opposite of one another?”

It’s Our Choice:

We choose to do what God’s Word says, or we choose do the opposite of what God’s Word says!

To Best Work Together, God Must Be in The Middle of Our Marriage

Covenant!

“A three-fold cord cannot be broken.”Ecclesiastes 4:12

If God is in the Midst of Your Marriage Covenant, there is the:

1. Husband2. God3. Wife

We Even See This in the Names of Man and Woman: Genesis 2:23

The man-person said, "At last! This is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. She is to be called Woman [Hebrew: ishah], because she was taken out of Man [Hebrew: ish].

שיא“Ish” – Man

Notice: The word “Ish” has the Hebrew Letter “Yud” י in it!

האש�“Ishah” – Woman

Notice: the word “Ishah” has the Hebrew letter “Hey” ה in it!

The Word

“Ish” does NOT have the letter “Hey” and the Word “Ishah” does NOT have the letter “Yud”!

The Letters “Yud” and “Hey” are the first TWO letters of the Sacred Name of God:

Thus, if the man and woman bond in a proper, spiritual, peace-enhancing way then the yud and the heh which form HaShem’s Name come together and are expressed in full.

However, Without God

In the Covenant Relationship of Your Marriage, there forms Another Hebrew Word – Because BOTH Words “Ish” and “Ishah” have the letters Aleph and the Shin in them!

It produces the Hebrew Word: “Aish”

Meaning “Fire”

Thus, If God’s peace and harmony is removed from the Covenant of Marriage then the yud and heh are taken away from the words Ish and Isha, and the result is aish and aish - fire clashing with fire.

If You Wonder Why Your MarriageIs full of “fire” (bitterness, hatred, contempt) toward your spouse,

perhaps you are leaving God and His Rules of Order out of your Marriage!

The Concept of “Covenant”

…Marriage has become little more than an upgraded social contract between two people—not a holy covenant between a man and a woman and their God for a lifetime…

Although the word B’rit "covenant" is not actually used in the Marriage of Adam and Chava, Moses describes

what is in its essence the first covenant of marriage writing as We

Already Read in B’reshith 2

Breshith (Genesis 2:21, 22, 23, 24)Then He took (cut out ) one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. And the man said…

"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

The Concept of Covenant is More Easily Seen in the Common Treaty

terminology

Of the Ancient Near East

In the wake of intensive political relations between the various political powers in the Middle-East of the 15.-13. centuries B. C. E. a common treaty terminology had been established.

“Covenant” (B’rit) Means to “Cut.”

Covenants in ancient times were sometimes sealed by severing an animal, with the implication that the party who breaks the covenant will suffer a similar fate. In Hebrew, the verb meaning "to seal a covenant" translates literally as "to cut".

“…In the Old Testament days a covenant was solemn and binding. When two people entered into a covenant with one another, a goat or lamb would be slain and its carcass would be cut in half. With the two halves separated and lying on the ground, the two people who had formed the covenant would solemnize their promise by walking between the two halves (see book Covenant: A Walk into Death) saying…

http://preceptaustin.org/covenant_a_walk_into_death.htm

"May God do so to me [cut me in half] if I ever break this covenant with you and God!" You get the feeling that a covenant in those days had just a little more substance than today.”

http://preceptaustin.org/covenant_a_walk_into_death.htm

Marriage, as Exists In All Covenants is a Compromise:

When two neshamas (souls) join to form one, both need to give up some of themselves to create a new, peaceful unity.

So too, in like manner, when we want to create the relationship with our spouse we need to make sacrifices and cut things out of our lives which will not help the relationship for it is only by losing do we really gain!

Yet, Marriage is a 100% Proposition

NOT a 50/50 proposition!

BOTH Spouses MUST INVEST

100% Each!

The Husband Gives 100%

AND

The Wife Gives 100%

And if One of the Partners

Cannot come up to the 100% because of health, then the other needs to make up the difference.

Part 3

Responsibilities of the Family Unit Members According to

God’s Word

The Husband/Fatheris responsible to God to his Household for 1) leadership

(headship/covering), 2) protection/covering, 3) provision - spiritual as well as material and 4)

the source of love in his household.

1) Leadership – Headship/Covering

Headship of the Husband, Under Messiah - Husbands are the Covering

of their Wives

1 Corinthians 11:3

But I want you to understand that the head of

every man is the Messiah, and the head of a

wife is her husband, and the head of the

Messiah is God.

2) Protection - 1 Kefa (Peter) 3:7

“You husbands in the same way, live with {your wives} in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman…”

The Hebrew Word “Ab” or “Av”

Paleo-Hebrew has a Symbolic Meaning, as explained by Hebrew Scholar Danny ben Gigi

It is Composed of The Hebrew Letter - Aleph

And the Hebrew Letter Bet (Beth; Bayt) or Vet

Bet is a picture of a house or floor plan of a tent and comes with idea of home and family

So, From the Root Ab אבAb or Av (the Hebrew word for

father) is spelled with an aleph and a bet (reminder: read the Hebrew word

beginning on the right)

We Get the Affectionate Hebrew term

“Abba” or “Daddy”

So, the Ab orAv is the Aleph Bet or Aleph Vet

The Strength of the House

3) Provision - 1 Timothy 5

8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

4) the Source of love in his Household

Husbands are COMMANDED to Love (agape) Their Wives

God commands the husband to love his wife as Messiah loves the Messianic

community

25 As for husbands, love (agapate) your wives, just as the Messiah loved

(hgaphsen) the Messianic Community, indeed, gave himself up

on its behalf…

Ephesians 5

26 in order to set it apart for God, making it clean through immersion in the mikveh, so to speak, 27 in order to present the Messianic Community to himself as a bride to be proud of, without a spot, wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without defect.

28 This is how husbands ought to love (agapan) their wives - like their own bodies; for the man who loves (agapwn) his wife is loving (agapa) himself. 29 Why, no one ever hated his own flesh! On the contrary, he feeds it well and takes care of it, just as the Messiah does the Messianic Community, 30 because we are parts of his Body.

Just as God is Our ONLY Source of Agape Love

1 John 4:8 - Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love (ἀγαπάω)…

Agape Love is NOT Something that Comes Naturally to a Man

Phileo and Eros love IS!

The Agape love that a husband NEEDS to be able to GIVE to his wife and children comes from God, who is the ONLY Source of Agape love!

That is Why God MUST BE in the Middle of the Marriage Covenant

Between a Man and his Wife!

We Respond to His Love 1 John 4

19 We ourselves love (ἀγαπάω) now because he loved us first.

Wives (in fact women in general) are built to respond to love.

The Wife/Mother

Occupies a tremendously important role as life-giver and nurturer but one of submission to her husband’s God-given role of responsibility.

Ephesians 5:22"Wives, be subject [be submissive and adapt yourselves] to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.”

It is DIFFICULT for WivesTo SUBMIT to or to RESPECT

their Husbands! BUT She MUST do so as Unto the Lord!

Again,That is Why God MUST BE in the Middle of the Marriage Covenant

Between a Man and his Wife!

ONLY If God is in the MIDDLE of the Marriage Covenant between a

Man and his WifeCan the Husband have the AGAPE love for his wife and the Wife can have the Respect for her husband!

Husbands (and men in General)

Are built to be respected

Ephesians 5:33

" 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. "

Titus 2

3 Likewise, tell the older women to behave the way people leading a holy life should. They shouldn't be slanderers or slaves to excessive drinking. They should teach what is good, 4 thus training the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to take good care of their homes and submit to their husbands. In this way, God's message will not be brought into disgrace.

Scriptural Principle

“Husbands, love your wives – wives, respect your husbands.”

The Key: Love & Respect

The Crazy Cycle

Husbands: Do You Want ALL Your Prayers to be Heard by God?

7 You husbands, likewise, conduct your married lives with understanding. Although your wife may be weaker physically, you should respect her as a fellow-heir of the gift of Life. If you don't, your prayers will be blocked. 1 Peter 3

Part 4 - About Children

Children are Added to the Basic Family Unit through reproduction, but they are NOT the Basic Family Unit!

Children Do NOT a Marriage Make!

Your Marriage to your Spouse DOES NOT “Hang Together” by having Children.

Children are NOT the Glue That Holds your Marriage Together!

Children bring additional Complications to an already troubled Marriage; they are NOT the Solution to an already troubled marriage!

Leah Found that Out – Genesis 29 31 ADONAI saw that Le'ah was unloved, so he made her fertile, while Rachel remained childless. 32 Le'ah conceived and gave birth to a son, whom she named Re'uven [see, a son!], for she said, "It is because ADONAI has seen how humiliated I have been, but now my husband will love me."

33 She conceived again, gave birth to a son and said, "It is because ADONAI has heard that I am unloved; therefore he has given me this son also." So she named him Shim'on [hearing].

The Children

Are to be obedient and in submission to both parents.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord [as His representatives], for this is just and right. Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother; this is the first commandment with a promise: [Exodus 20:12] That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

So, God’s Order of Things in the Basic Family Unit: “…On Earth as it

is in Heaven…”

1. God2. Messiah3. Husband

4. Wife5. Children

Conclusion

Just In Case You Haven’t Noticed by Now:

God has made Males and Females different from One

Another!

And HaSatan Tries to Use These Differences to Divide Us

To place a “Wedge” between the Man and the Woman!

The God-Created Institution of Marriage is Under Attack

The Adversary wants to destroy that which God has created and ordained, especially the family. All of our marriages are under attack.

…We can learn how (rather than allow those differences to cause friction and division between us in our marriages) we can compliment our spouses’ differences and understand that God has made us to be one.

Yet, from God’s Word…

BUT We don’t Need to Blame the “Devil”

We do well enough on our own to bring trial and tribulation into our lives, because we willingly violate God’s Word.

So, if We Wonder Why So Many Marriages are Failing, Especially Among the Believing CommunityIt occurs because we VIOLATE God’s Order of

Things.

Sadly, In Believing Community of Messiah Alone:

1 in 2 Marriages are ending in Divorce!

That is NOT what God had originally intended.

Long before there was a man-made institution called “nation” or “government” there was the God-made institution of marriage between the man and the woman.

“As goes the marriage, so goes the family; as goes the family, so goes the community; as goes the community, so goes the county; as goes the county, so goes the State; as goes the State, so goes the nation…”

“As goes the marriage…”

That being the case, our Nation That being the case, our Nation is in Deep Trouble!is in Deep Trouble!

We Have a Domino Effect that’s destroying our Country!

BUT

WE can be obedient to God’s Word and follow it in our Households to

have a godly and orderly marriage!

God has a Perfect Order in His Kingdom

So, Let us pray and obey, so that we can carry out His Words in the Order of our Earthly Marriage Covenant with our spouse, “…on Earth as it is in Heaven…”