To: Matt McCaffrey From: Jed Rardin October CONNtact Article

A RECIPE FOR RECONCILIATION

Conflict. Sadly, it's a word that we in the church have come to dread. Conflict is the inevitable experience any group has when it's unity feels threatened. Yet in and of itself, it is neither good nor bad; it simply is. What makes a conflict "good" or "bad is our response to it. We can allow it to bring out the automatic "fight or flight" instincts in us, or we can embrace it as a vehicle for self-discovery. It is true that the fruits of "fight or flight" are bitter. If, however, the response is one in which opposing parties value understanding more than they do "winning" or avoiding, then the fruits of conflict can be sweet indeed.

Nine months ago, we at South Britain Congregational Church found ourselves deeply conflicted over the New Century Hymnal. After nearly a year of reflecting, studying, singing and discussing, we were still deeply divided over the changes the NCH had wrought with familiar hymn texts, and the theological and christological concerns some of those changes raised. Our division was most clearly brought to light at our annual meeting in January in which a vote affirming the purchase of the New Century Hymnal passed by a slim margin of three votes.

During the week that ensued, it became clear that the vote, if acted upon immediately, would not be in the best interests of the congr gation. AB informal discussion continued, many who had voted in favor of the New Century Hymnal found themselves experiencing "new century reservations." What emerged was not so much a sear~h for a quick fix but a desire to come together in the search for a mutually satisfying solution. The result was a subsequent resolution by our Church Council based upon informal polling of the congregation, to put the purchase on hold and to create a new committee made up of nine members with opposing viewpoints to discuss and research all oth~r available hymnals. It was that decision which gave us what all congregations need to think more clearly: breathing room.

The Ingredients

On April 25th, the special committee convened. Rather than trying to "solve the problem," members of the committee focused instead on defining the outcome it felt the congregation wanted. The defined the outcome in terms of "the perfect hymnal for us," understanding that no hymnal would perfectly fit that description. Thefollowing is a sumary list of the "ingredients" the committee selected:

-A large measure of old favorites, with minimal tune or text changes; -A healthy infusion of new hymns, bringing freshness and new ideas to worship but with

inclusive language that was not so-far reaching as to be considered "exclusive;"

-A large measure of modernity, reflecting the explosion in hymn writing in the last two decades as well as concerns for diversity and inclusivity;

-A sprinkling of selections from other cultural or religious traditions; -A small dose of "old hymns" which had been left out of the Pilgrim Hymnal; -Several patriotic favorites left out by the New Century Hymnal.

In short, the outcome was defined as "a hymnal that is fresh for today, retains and celebrates the traditions of the past, and will still be vital tomorrow. 11 The second and third criteria made it clear to all that neither the New Century Hymnal, nor the Pilgrim Hymnal were the best options. Having established the shortcomings in both hymnals, the committee proceeded.

The Preparation

April 18 - May 28. Having invited anyone interested to attend the meetings, the committee researched eleven hymnals published since 1975, including the Presbyterian Hymnal, the Methodist Hymnal, the Chalice Hymnal (Disciples of Christ), the Mennonite Hymnal, the Moravian Hymnal, and the Worshipping Church.

By May 28th the list had been readily whittled down to three "finalists. 11 Next, a list of the committee members' favorite 225 hymns was cross-referenced to each of the three hymnals still being considered. All omissions, text changes and tune changes were noted and discussed. By the end of the meeting the ii st had been narrowed to two hymnals. Before concluding the meeting, hymn selectious from each were sung in the meetinghouse with an accompanist.

On June 11, the committee convened one last time to compare again and sing selections from the two finalists. Following discussion on the theology and history of the Disciples of Christ, the committee voted unanimously and without reservation for the Chalice hymnal, citing the fact that in content, presentation and spirit, "it felt like our hymnal should feel. 11 Soon thereafter, the committee made separate presentations to both the ~<' lmuHJ11tU. > n< Diaconate and the Church Council, receiving unanimous approval and gratitude from eo..~h ·

Food For Thought

The spirit and unanimity with which everyone thus far has embraced the Chalice hymnal has been nothing short of remarkable given the differences that had arisen over the January vote. Although a special meeting of the congregation is still needed to affirm the recommendation of the special committee and to amend the action taken last January, a spirit of comfort and assurance has prevailed.

While the process was often draining, I, for one, am thankful for the experience. It has validated the notion that the function of pain in the body of Christ, just as in the human

body, is to preserve life and encourage growth. Pain can also be an invitation to seek out God's presence in new ways. Several individuals have shared with me the thought that throughout the conflict over the New Century Hymnal, a larger hand has been at work, teaching us about ourselves, showing us how to grow in love and admiration for one another, and reminding us that the question to ask is not, "How do we get out of this mess?" but rather, "How might God be using this mess to strengthen and stretch us?"

Our recipe for reconciliation may not suit the tastes of other congregations. But we share it in the hope that others going through a similar experience will remember to season their work together with respect and pepper it with humor, knowing that the result can be an experience not unlike a feast, a feast which will nourish them well into the future . I suspect that if you were to ask a member of our special committee if they have any regrets about the way things have turned out, they would answer, as I do, "I wouldn't have had it any other way."

Jared Rardin is the Pastor of the South Britain Congregational Church in Southbury.