UUCD: October, Forgiveness

Public domain photo: http://pixabay.com/en/abstract-autumn-background-bright-21984/

The month of October is when, as Unitarian Universalists, we honor the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. One of the important rituals of this holy time is to prepare for forgiveness.

Practicing Jews consider from whom they need to ask forgiveness. It may be for things that were intentionally or unintentionally said or done. What matters is that the world was made worse as a consequence of our behavior. In addition to asking for forgiveness, which is a humbling act, those who are honoring the High Holy Days prepare themselves to grant forgiveness, if possible, to those who request it.

How many people have each one of us hurt in the course of a year? Almost all of us could be in the asking-for-forgiveness mode for days without a break. There was that little white lie about how the coveted ice cream disappeared in the fridge. Or when we said ‘no’ when we should have said ‘yes’ or saying ‘yes’ when we would have made everyone’s life better by saying ‘no.’ We need forgiveness when we did not take the high road in word and deed in a relationship, allowing for respect even when brokenhearted.

And consider the other side of the equation. All of us could devote another series of days listening to the requests from others who ask us for forgiveness. A lot of mistakes happen in the course of 12 months, beginning with the small things that lay the groundwork for trust. When we went looking for that ice-cream saved for us in the fridge, and there was denial that it ever passed the lips of our companion. When someone didn’t step forward to help in some small way, lessening the load for us. When a friend betrayed our trust and hid the truth. Only you know what has happened in your life.

Forgiveness may be the way to peace and health, but the journey is sometimes a convoluted and imperfect. We start the month with “Imperfect Forgiveness.” We’ll explore many aspects of forgiveness, from personal forgiveness with sermons from both of your clergy on staff, to the international work of The Fellowship of Reconciliation Executive Director, Rev. Kristin Stoneking. You have also been given the opportunity to share your thoughts to be considered for sermon or bulletin reflections. Look at the sermon descriptions for the focus of your input and the email/Facebook/letter mailbox addresses.

Forgiveness is complicated and cannot often be presented in a linear fashion. Often needs to be revisited until it is complete. Not to be confused with forgetting. – Rev. Beth Banks

Unitarian Universalist Church of Davis (UUCD) Theme Journal – October: Forgiveness

Greetings UUCD Congregation! It is my privilege to come alongside you to serve as the congregation's Assistant Minister for Pastoral Care. Over the next several weeks, I know we'll have the opportunity to meet one another and I hope that many of you will have the time to sit down with me over coffee, a meal, or around the church grounds to tell me your stories and why being a part of the UUCD community is an important part of your life. Through our shared ministry together, I look forward to the process of discovery, creation, and imagination as we continue cultivating a community of care at UUCD. Sincerely, Rev. Cody J. Sanders Welcome Reception: 12:30pm, October 5, Social Hall

� www.uudavis.org � Events/Publications � 2014-15 October, Forgiveness �

UUCD: October, Forgiveness

Worship Sundays, 9:30 & 11:15am

October 5, Imperfect Forgiveness, Rev. Beth Banks, Autumn Labbé-Renault, Worship Associate. This Sunday comes on the heels of Yom Kippur, one of the Jewish High Holy Days. This day honors how, as normal human beings, we have fallen short in some ways throughout the year. We ask for forgiveness and plan to attempt to mend what is broken. As you prepare for the service, consider this question, “Can all misdeeds be forgiven?" Share your thoughts with Beth and Autumn: Beth's inbox, or RevBanks@uudavis.org or send a Facebook message to RevBanks@uudavis.org. Let us know if your comments may be referenced in the sermon or bulletin.

Animal Blessing, 11:15am only: Near the

birthday of St. Francis of Assisi, patron saint of animals, we honor animals. Well-socialized animals are welcome. Pets will accompany their humans with leashes, cages, and carriers. We ask this for everyone’s comfort and care. There will be a blessing for all God’s critters!

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October 12, The Courage to Listen, Rev. Beth Banks & Rev. Cody Sanders; Suzanne Kimmel, Worship Associate. When we listen attentively without any purpose other than to be present with another, the world offers unexpected gifts. It’s easy to imagine creating more meaningful, intimate relationships. True listening is one of the cornerstones of forgiveness. But if we listen courageously, we may also change our strongly-held convictions or even our approach to life. Listening is a radical act in today’s world. Can you remember a time when you changed a conviction you held because of listening to the views or life story or another?

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October 12, 4pm, Memorial Wall Service Rev. Beth Banks, Rev. Cody Sanders; Suzanne Kimmel, Worship Associate. We'll recognize members and friends of our congregation who died in the past year. We'll begin in the sanctuary, with music, song, readings, and brief memories given by a family member or friend. We'll end at the Memorial Wall as we recreate a bouquet and honor those who are remembered: Stan Coppock, John Jungerman, Mary Lockhart, Del McColm, Myrna Paris, Olden Edwards Paris, Lynn Rohwer, Stephen Sosnick, Barry Wilson

October 19, Cheap Grace: Reflections on Forgiveness Across Contexts, Rev. Kristin Stoneking. The experience of suffering as a result of conflict, violation or harm exists across all communities. As human beings, we are drawn toward wholeness and reconciliation, but is it possible to forgive too soon? Reflecting on her experience as leader of The Fellowship of Reconciliation, founder of the Multifaith Living Community in Davis, and campus pastor with UC Davis for 14 years, Rev. Stoneking explores how worldview, belief system and culture affect forgiveness.

Q & A session 12:30pm - with Rev. Stoneking, facilitated by Karen Klussendorf.

A vocal advocate for the Occupy/Decolonize movement, Kristin achieved national attention in November 2011 for her role in a situation with violent overtones. Police officers pepper-sprayed activists who had joined a large Occupy Davis protest. Kristin successfully mediated between the parties and, when video footage of the dramatic incident “went viral” via social media, promoted the disciplined, principled use of nonviolent action.

Kristin is an ordained United Methodist minister and coordinates a social justice network in the California-Nevada Conference of her denomination. Her previous service includes pastoral work on gang and gun violence, and research and advocacy for immigrant rights. Kristin is also nearing completion of a Ph.D. in interreligious studies and nonviolence education at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California. She and her spouse, Elizabeth Campi, have two children. http://forusa.org/about/staff/stoneking

Oct 19: Special Collection – Cool Davis Foundation. Checks to UUCD, memo Cool Davis.

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October 26, Just the Right Questions, The Dream Team. When was the last time you really had a really great conversation? Whether it was with a partner, some long-time friends, or new acquaintances, it usually starts by being asked the right questions. Whether you are a founding member or a seeker who has just recently come to our congregation, we've got some questions for you, and we think they're the 'right questions.' This is a continuation of the invitation The Dream Team extended to this congregation to be a part of "something big." It's getting bigger, and we'll reveal how.

UUCD: October, Forgiveness

Read The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and

Limits of Forgiveness by Simon Wiesenthal

Listen Download or listen online to edited

Sunday services at www.uudavispodcast.org

Sing Wind in the leaves, I’ve missed you/ Wind in the

leaves, I’m sorry/ Wind in the leaves, I’m back/ Let me feel you near me/ Let me feel you near

I wrote this reconciliation song wandering the UUCD campus, listening to the sound of wind blowing through oak leaves and pine needles. Such a beautiful sound to me, it sounded like a homecoming: soothing a soul that had been too busy to stop and listen to such things for a long while.

Forgiveness flows in and around us. As spiritual beings, we stretch our hearts on a daily basis in forgiveness—for each other, the world, ourselves. And we long to be forgiven, to be enough as we are.

We can practice with small things, like forgiving ourselves for forgetting about the trees, for not listening to the birds sing outside our window. And we can work toward bigger things, like forgiving our bodies for being mortal, our contributions for being limited, even as our spirits and yearnings may be limitless. Carrying a forgiveness song in our hearts can help.

– Laura Sandage, Choir Director

Reflect The Committee on Ministry (Lucas

Frerichs, Sarah Keith, Stefan Harvey, Steve Reynolds, Karen Urbano) invites UUs to make the theme part of their spiritual practice.

Desmond Tutu: 'I am sorry' – the three hardest words to say. Forgiveness takes practice, honesty, open-mindedness and a willingness (even if it is a weary willingness) to try. It isn't easy. Perhaps you have already tried to forgive someone and just couldn't do it. Perhaps you have forgiven and the person did not show remorse or change his or her behaviour or own up to his or her offences – and you find yourself unforgiving all over again. It is perfectly normal to want to hurt back when you have been hurt. But hurting back rarely satisfies. We think it will, but it doesn't. If I slap you after you slap me, it does not lessen the sting I feel on my own face, nor does it diminish my sadness over the fact that you have struck me. Retaliation gives, at best, only momentary respite from our pain. The only way to experience healing and peace is to forgive. Until we can forgive, we remain locked in our pain and locked out of the possibility of experiencing healing and freedom, locked out of the possibility of being at peace.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/mar/22/archbishop-desmond-tutu-sorry-hard-to-say

Reflective Question: Please take a moment and think of a situation where you have been hurt- emotionally or physically. Were you able to forgive the person or the situation? How did you achieve forgiveness?

2014 UUCD Auction: Beyond the Bridge The autumn auction, Beyond the Bridge, is ramping up, and we need everyone’s creative thoughts and energy! Our collective excitement will overflow into action on Sat., Nov. 15, 6pm. Join us for hearty appetizers and wine at our silent auction. The Putah Creek Crawdads and Celia Cottle’s student jazz group will entertain us in the Social Hall. Then, it’s time to get down to business at the raucous live auction featuring professional auctioneer David Sobon.

To make this year's auction fun and successful we need QUALITY DONATIONS: dinners, vacation homes, excursions, services, gift baskets, etc. Please see the website for additional suggestions. With one mouse click, you can see items that you have previously donated as a reference, and you can offer it again. How easy is that!

Three Ways to Make a Donation:

� 1. Enter it using our TogetherAuction website: http://togetherauction.com/uudavis/statement/id/272/

Your PIN is the last 4 digits of your phone number (902-9553). You can change it later if you like. Look for the big blue "Donate a New Item" link. If you see the smiley face thank-you page, you'll know we've got it!

� 2. Email the auction team with ideas for donations (or any questions or offers to volunteer) at auction@uudavis.org

� 3. Visit Auction Central in the Social Hall on Sunday. We can help you purchase advance tickets ($30), make a donation, or sign-up to volunteer.

http://togetherauction.com/uudavis Thanks to the UUCD community, Barbara Bower & Hiram Jackson