Watermark's Holiday Guide 2015

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CONTENTS07 INTRODUCTION11 HOLIDAY WISH LISTS19 COUPLES’ FIRST CHRISTMAS24 LAST MINUTE GIFT GUIDE29 HOLIDAY THEATER

Contents of this Holiday Guide are protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission of the publishers. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles, advertising, or listing is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or members or organizations. Opinions expressed in articles generated by Watermark do not necessarily re� ect the views of the editorial or advertising sta� . Watermark cannot accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

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SEASON OFLOVE!

� is year’s holiday celebrations may be the brightest ever

BILLY MANES

It’s clearly been a banner year for the LGBT community on the political front, and we’re not wasting any

time celebrating that. In fact, we’re currently decking the halls with rainbow-colored holly (and a slightly spiked punch). You should smell this place! Welcome to Watermark’s annual Holiday Guide!

Though Florida can sometimes seem like a season-free zone wherein one falling leaf, one half drop of snow, equates to our northern friends’ Norman Rockwell chills soundtracked by sentimental carols, it’s also the best place to be any time of year. For this year’s Holiday Guide, we’re tearing open the wrapping and looking what’s inside our I-4 corridor, our current LGBT momentum and our sweet spots. Even if we end up with another 80-degree Christmas, we’ll likely get by swimmingly, thank you very much.

Most importantly, we want you, our loyal readers, to see what we see and know what we know in terms of making the holidays sing. Check out some holiday-themed theater and grab yourself a chestnut! First, though, we want you to buy us things. Even though we aren’t typically the types to ask for anything (cough), this year we’re presenting our grown-up holiday wish lists, a task that spans the full gamut, from luxury to

heartache, from toilet accoutrements to luxury roadsters. We can be an odd bunch. But we’ve been nice.

Our advertisers are at the ready with carefully curated selections for your perusal as well, opening doors for you to experience everything from where to eat, what to see, how to play and how to live better. Good tidings to you, and all of that.

Because this has been the year of equality, we’ve also checked in with some newly married LGBT couples who will be dancing around the tree (or menorah; or whatever piece of joy they might choose) for the fi rst time as offi cially recognized families. That’s huge, and it’s also probably the greatest gift any one of us could have asked for this year.

Happy Holidays from your friends at Watermark Media, and Happy New Year, too. We’re looking forward to spreading more information, more joy, more entertainment and more love in 2016. Let’s keep it going!


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ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS...

� e Watermark staff is anxiously anticipating your

parcels of good tidings

While last year we were looking out for you in our Holiday Guide, pouring libations crafted from the

finest of liquors and drag queens available for our whimsy, this year, we’re taking a different route. We’ve roasted our chestnuts and baked our cookies, donned our finest apparel and burned our fingers on church candles, all in the name of getting you to buy us things. Some of us have serious requests; some of us have serious issues. All of us, however, make a pretty nice family. Send goods. Now.

RICK CLAGGETTPUBLISHER

Everybody poops! Why not make it more natural with the Squatty Potty?

Creators of the Squatty Potty say humans were made to poop in a squat, relaxing the puborectalis. This muscle creates a natural kink making elimination strained while we are sitting. Squatty Potty relaxes things and makes elimination easier and healthier. Want to be the bomb this holiday season? Give the gift that eliminates all the others. Squatty Potty comes in a variety of heights and material. Choose the one that will make your friend’s number two, number one. Squatty Potty is available online at squattypotty.com. You can also visit your local Bed Bath & Beyond and Target stores for purchase. Squatty Potty is priced from $25 to $80. Perfect for the offi ce Secret Santa or your loved ones.

SAM RENNELSORLANDO AD SALES

I have been a VERY good girl this year, so Santa, this is what I would like.I don’t need rings or things

but I would love to have a 2016 Mercedes Benz SL AMG 65 convertible (mbusa.com, $217.550), black please. It is one of the fastest ones, and the pop-up roll bar will keep me safe if I go too fast. I can just see myself cruising down A1A with the top down on a beautiful winter day in Florida heading for the beach.

It is handcrafted just for

me: AMG 6.0 liter bi-turbo V-12, 7-speed transmission, and goes from 0-60 mph in 3.9 seconds, and it has rearview camera, keyless go, heated 14-way power seats with memory, for when I go to the cold country, massage seats and ventilated front seats.

It is the perfect gift for this very good girl. If you don’t have one in your bag, Santa, you can go see Brian at Mercedes-Benz of Orlando. He has my name on it.


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JAMIE HYMANONLINE MEDIA DIRECTOR

My house used to be virtually clean, tastefully decorated

and just about clutter-free.And then, this past April,

we had a baby.Now my house is a

slovenly baby clothing and paraphernalia warehouse, sprinkled liberally with sweet potato spatters, burp cloths and a never-shrinking pile of bottle parts begging to be washed.

Therefore, for Christmas this year, experiences are at the top of my list. We have enough things, but now we have this adorable new member of the family and it’s time to get serious about showing him this world and all of the wonderful views, textures and opportunities it contains.

Plenty of things would fi t the bill, such as a season pass to The Crayola Experience (tickets.visitcrayolaorlando.com, $34.99), zoo tickets, a Disney annual pass (disneyworld.disney.go.com, $776.39) or membership at a Mommy-and-Me gym.

It doesn’t all have to be kid-friendly, either. My husband and I need date night more than ever right now and would love to receive a membership to Enzian Theater (enzian.org, $60) or a restaurant gift card so we could steal away for the occasional mimosa-soaked brunch.

Yes, there is something nice about opening beautifully-wrapped packages, and believe me - the baby will receive plenty of those. But under the tree for me this year, I’m hoping my friends and family will think of wonderful experiences that help us make some memories.

KATHLEEN HARPEROFFICE MANAGER

This year for Christmas, I’m asking Santa for a

paddleboard. Having my own paddleboard would make trips to the river and the beach much more enjoyable. The paddleboard I would like is a Wahine Classic Bamboo in purple. This one runs about $1,000 depending on where you buy it. And that’s why I will be looking for a used one on craigslist. For those that have been living under a rock the past few years, a paddle board is pretty much a large surf board. It has grips on the top for your feet. You stand on the board using an oar to move yourself along the river or any waterway of your choice. Paddleboarding makes me feel like Jesus walking on water. For the very balanced, there are also yoga classes on paddleboards. Check out paddleboards of all diff erent colors and sizes

at paddleboarddirect.com. They also sell standard boards at Dick’s Sporting Goods for around $300. Living in this wonderful sunshine state of Florida, even on Christmas Day, you can take it for a spin!

JEREMY WILLIAMSTAMPA BAY STAFF WRITER

When someone asks me what I want for

Christmas I always have an instinctive impulse to say, “I want an offi cial Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifl e” (amazon.com, $39.18). That bit of Christmas comedy comes from the 1983 holiday classic A Christmas Story. That makes me then think of Christmas morning, gathered around the tree with my brothers and sister marveling at the colorfully wrapped boxes, my Daddy looking on with great pride at the festivities as he sips his coff ee and Mama, smiling at her little creations and sighing, knowing that in a few moments she and Daddy are going to have to clean the mess of wrapping and bows and ribbons up from the living room, then spend the day in the kitchen making the most amazing Christmas dinner blending traditional foods with the specialty recipes of Italian cuisine that she learned from my grandmother. Those days are long gone, as the children have grown up and spread like seeds around the country. Those memories bring back warm fuzzy feelings. What do I want for Christmas you ask? I want Christmas.



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BOZ SCAGGSNOVEMBER 7, 2015 AT 7:30 PM

MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER CHRISTMASNOVEMBER 12, 2015 AT 7:30PM

LATE NITE CATECHISM SEQUEL ‘TIL DEATH DO US PART’

NOVEMBER 18, 2015NOVEMBER 18, 2015 AT 7:00PM

THE MUSIC OF LED ZEPPELINNOVEMBER 21, 2015 AT 7:30PM

RAGTIMEJANUARY 11, 2016 AT 7:30PM

DISNEY'S BEAUTY AND THE BEASTJANUARY 27, 2016 AT 7:30PM

VINCE GILL & LYLE LOVETTFEBRUARY 23, 2016 AT 7:30PM

THE BEACH BOYSMARCH 1, 2016 AT 7:30PM

JOSEPHJOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT

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KATHY GRIFFIN MARCH 30, 2016 AT 7:30PM

CELTIC WOMANAPRIL 27, 2016 AT 7:30PM

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JAKE STEVENSART DIRECTOR

Light switches are for CHUMPS. They’re permanently stuck in

place on your wall in your house, aren’t easily dimmable and you’re saddled with only one color of light. Why on earth would anyone want to use such an archaic form of lumination activation when there is the smartphone controllable lighting system that is Phillips Hue System Starter Kit A19 (amazon.com, $199.99).

Now you can use your smartphone to program your lights to switch on to your perfect customized color and brightness when you enter your house. Want to be greeted by soft, rich, orange glowing lights? Done! Want bright energy giving daylight-colored lights fueling your home arrival? Double done! Do you want to enter your house and have every single lightbulb shine a diff erent color and brightness in a beautifully chaotic mess? MAJOR DONE!

The A19 kit is even Apple homekit compatible! That means iPhone users can call on Siri to turn on, dim, or activate a lighting preset. Can a standard wall switch do that? No. It cannot.

MARK CADYSALES MANAGER

I need batteries: AA, AAA and C. I have lots of toys and gadgets that are in

constant need of batteries. There is nothing worse than an undercharged toy when you really want to play with it. And goodness knows what other fun things I might get this year that will surely need batteries.

DANNY GARCIAORLANDO AD SALES

For Christmas, I really want to visit Iceland! Not just because it’s the birthplace

of Björk or the thought of the country being fi lled with rugged Viking men, but because of its incredible scenery.

The thought of taking a dip into some volcanic hot springs while there’s a chill in the air and looking up into the night’s sky and seeing the Northern Lights beats any other location. Plus, Iceland has been very LGBT progressive and friendly over the last several years and seems to actively welcome LGBT travelers from all over the world!

Various tours of everything Iceland has to off er are available including: trips deep into the mountains, whale watching or simply partying the night away in August during Iceland’s Gay Pride. I’ve been good this year, I will fi nd a trip to Iceland under my tree. If I’ve been really good, the trip would be hand delivered to me by Strongman and actor, the six-foot-nine-inch Hafþór Júlíus “Thor” Björnsson, the Icelandic native that plays Gregor “the Mountain” Clegane on Game of Thrones.

DEANNDRA MENOCREATIVE ASSISTANT

Allow me to enlighten you with all the wonders that

is the LED Color Changing Shower Head ($10.78,

amazon.com) This amazing product uses 16 LEDs to transform the outcoming water to a range of colors such as red, green, blue, purple and orange. Imagine it: rainbow fabulousness shooting all over. Showering will never be boring again.

The LED Color Changing Shower Head can be set to specifi c colors, so red and green it up. The only con this author fi nds is that, unfortunately, it is not detachable, nor does it feature that wonderful pressure massage. Sorry ladies. Nothing is perfect.

BILLY MANESEDITOR- IN-CHIEF

Having not even written the thank you cards from my

wedding registry free-for-all (or me and him) this year, I feel a bit guilty asking for anything else material in nature. The altruistic side of my wandering mind would likely list something like LGBT workplace rights or whirled peas, but there’s that certain nagging that always pulls me down into the point-of-purchase gutter. This year, dear reader or Santa or Jesus or mom, I really probably need to consider something sensible. How about a new pair of the same shoes-for-shoeleather that I get myself annually, the Calvin Klein Fane slip-on loafer boredom hustlers (Size 9, amazon.com, $59.99) that suit my utilitarianism? Try walking in my shoes. You’d stumble in my footsteps; I certainly do! Happy holidays.



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WHAT IF YOU’RE JUST NOT CUT OUT FOR ORDINARY

EXPERIENCES? HAVE WE GOT A PLACE FOR YOU.

When you explore our selection of artisanal shops selling one-of-a-kind hand-crafted items made by local masters, the

only thing you can expect is the unexpected. You thought you knew us? Think again. We’re your antidote for the ordinary.

Bass Pro Shops | Ron Jon Surf Shop | Cinemark Theatres

5250 International Drive | 407.351.7718 | artegon.com

Receive special perks by bringing this ad to Guest Services (code: WMH)

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Provincetown’s Gay & Lesbian Holiday Festival

December 4-6Jingle Bell Run • Drag BingoShop Hop • Drag BrunchBoston Gay Men’s Chorus Concert& Much More!

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New Year’s Celebration including fireworks!

COUPLES’ FIRST CHRISTMAS!

What the holidays are looking like for the newly, legally entwined

STEPHEN J. MILLER

What a year! For many Florida couples, 2015 will conclude with their fi rst holiday

together, fi nally legally married.Florida accepted marriage equality and

started issuing licenses Jan. 6. The US Supreme Court made it the law of the land June 26.

With such signifi cant changes in LGBT people’s lives, we asked a few local pairs how they planned to celebrate their fi rst holiday season together.

JAMES BLANCHARD-HERBST AND TROY HERBST

P O R T R I C H I E

James and Troy married August 8 this year after dating for more than two years. They love entertaining their families in

their new home, especially around the pool.JAMES: We just bought this house, so we thought the time was right to get married. We’re pretty family-oriented, and we like to have them close by. This is the fi rst Christmas that both families are at our place. I’m looking forward to it. We’ve been getting everything ready.

Troy also is looking forward to decorating the new house; he’s not happy unless you can see it from space. I’m scared for the electric bill.

LAURIE SOLEIM AND MICHELLE MAILLARD

O R L A N D O

Laurie and Michelle just got married September 12 after more than six years together. They also have been

renovating their living room, dining room, and kitchen to make an open fl oor plan. MICHELLE: When marriage became legal, it really made sense for us.

LAURIE: Once I asked, she didn’t want me to back out, so she said, “Oh, we’ve got to do it soon!” [They both laugh.] We got married at the old historic inn at Lake Lucerne; it was beautiful!

MICHELLE: We are also in the middle of our renovating. Laurie’s mom [before she passed away] gave us a Christmas Village, and when everything’s fi nished, we’ll have a nice place to put it. It’ll be the fi rst year that we’ll have everything where we really want it without stuffi ng it into a corner.

JIM HARRISON AND ROBBY PIGOTT

O R L A N D O , F L

Jimmy and Robby are both performers who’ve been together for 25 years. Besides acting, singing

and dancing on local and international stages, Robby collects Snoopy items, and Jimmy is an accomplished photographer.ROBBY: We met when we were doing Starlight Express in Germany. I was leaving, and Jim was in the cast replacing us. We got married this year on January 6 by Mayor Buddy Dyer.

JIM: We also said there was no point in getting married unless there was a legal reason; we felt married pretty much from the moment we met.

ROBBY: We used to do more for the holidays, but then I got lazy and sick of putting the tree up and down every year.

Since my mom moved to Florida, James, my sister, her family and I all meet at Mom’s house very year.

JIM: Nothing seems very diff erent after 25 years. We are saving up for a cruise, so we’ll probably commit Christmas to that.


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OOPS! Watermark’s handy guide to fi nding last minute baubles when you forget

you were supposed to plan ahead BILLY MANES

We’ve all been there. You’re simply going about your holiday business, pulling up to bumpers (and bumping

into them), ruing your very existence, anxious to get home and as far away from the noise of capitalism rearing its ugly holiday head like that of a Cabbage Patch baby. You thought you had it all fi gured out, did you? The scarves, the sweaters, the plastic toys and electronic joy-makers, all of them are already in your virtual cart. Now, it’s time to nap.

Except it isn’t ever, is it?The holidays bring with them exponential

pressures to impress the desires of others. You don’t have to do nice things with debit cards on Dec. 21, but you damn well better pull out some magnetic-stripped magic by Dec. 25. Your aunt will notice if you do not, friends.

To that end, Watermark has come up with some panic-scramble suggestions for making certain that it doesn’t look like you’re faking your way through these themed pleasantries. Here are some tips!

1 7-11: It’s not all about Slurpees and Taquitos and emergency iPhone power cords (though sometimes it is when you’re in a pickle). If you really

want to impress your celebratory peers at an obligatory party swish you forgot about, check out the improved beer and wine selections at the corner store. You may be surprised by how convenient convenience stores have gotten.

2 THE DRUG STORE: No, we’re not suggesting that you raid your grandmother’s medicine chest for the latest trend in opioids. Rather,

we’re acknowledging that with in your local apothecary, especially the larger ones, there are endless options of sometimes trashy gifts that will make you the life of the party. Look for the “As seen on TV” section, rinse, repeat.

3 PRINTABLE GIFT CARDS: The proliferation of “egift cards” from places like amazon.com and giftcards.com have removed the

“I don’t care about you” stigma from the gift certifi cate Hail Mary pass. Everything from food to booze to whatever people buy at Sears can be in consideration. Or you can just get a prepaid Visa or somesuch and give your friends some debit credit.

4 REGIFTING: Had a big birthday party, a wedding, a shower? Have a whole bunch of pots and pans you don’t need that are still in their packaging?

You win! Just wrap it in some irony newspaper and rush out the door. You’re running late!

5 DO NOT BUY A PET ON CHRISTMAS EVE FOR AN UNSUSPECTING FRIEND: We all know the tragedy of puppy mills and animal kill-shelters by

now, just as we know that people who aren’t adopting pets for themselves are probably not interested in having pets, or they aren’t equipped to. What you can do is buy a harness and a leash at the bustling pet store , though, and then craft a fancy certifi cate saying that you will go to the local animal shelter or rescue with them in the new year to fi nd the perfect pet to fi t them. Thoughtful and easy!


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ADDING SPICE TO SEASONAL SHOWS

STEPHEN J. MILLER

Yes, nothing gets many of us in the holiday spirit like the classic stage chestnuts. Our hearts race when a choir belts

the Hallelujah Chorus, we love to battle a Mouse King on the ballet stage, and we get all warm and fuzzy when Tiny Tim blesses us all. Yet, there are also several alternative off erings sure to keep up the holiday cheer. Here are just a few options:

CENTRAL FLORIDAFOREVER PLAID: PLAID TIDINGSWINTER PARK PLAYHOUSE, 711 N ORANGE AVE, WINTER PARK, FL 32789NOV. 13 THROUGH DEC. 19, 7:30PM, SAT. AND SUN. SHOWS ALSO AT 2PMPREVIEW: NOV. 12, 2015, 7:30PMWINTERPARKPLAYHOUSE.ORG

Looking to add some hilarious doo-wop harmony to your holidays? An angel Rosemary Clooney raises the singing Plaids from the dead. These four handsome, heavenly harmonizers are charged with creating Christmas cheer. It’s a corny, comedic Christmas concert with plenty of heart and some gorgeous singing by the theme parks’ � nest performers. Move over, Christmas Carol ghosts; here are some new holiday spirits!

THE PERFECT GIFTDANGEROUS AT THE METHEATRE, 1300 LA QUINTA DRIVE, ORLANDO, FL 32808.DEC. 3 THROUGH 20 (NO PERFORMANCES ON SAT. 12/5 OR THURS 12/17), THU. THROUGH SAT. AT 8PM, SUN AT 4PMDANGEROUSTHEATRE.COM

This offbeat comedy with an LGBT bent has been a hit in Denver; now it debuts in Orlando. Stacia hates everything about the holidays, especially the panic of picking out the right presents for everyone. That isn’t her only problem; her closest acquaintances are a homeless man she shares lunch with and an invisible friend. Perhaps a holiday party under a local bridge is the answer to Stacia’s problems? One reviewer called the show powerful, personal, and memorable.

WANZIE’S ORANGE BLOSSOM TRAIL “LIVING NATIVITY” CHIRSTMAS SPECTACULARFOOTLIGHT THEATER AT THE PARLIAMENT HOUSE, 410 NORTH ORANGE BLOSSOM TRAIL, ORLANDO, FL 32805SATURDAYS, NOV. 28 - DEC. 19 AT 7:30 PMMONDAY, DEC. 21 AT 8 PMWANZIE.COM

After a bonanza of sellouts for last year’s bit of hilarious blasphemy (we mean that in the kindest way), Orlando confection and playwright and actor Michael Wanzie is ready to make the yuletide gay again, on the Trail, along with a generous swath of the rest of the Orlando theatrical community. Expect to spill your drink, eat a wafer, drown in your sorrows and laugh your way through the holiest of messes.

LAKELANDCIRQUE DREAMS HOLIDAZETHE LAKELAND CENTER, 701 LIME ST, LAKELAND, FL 33815FRI. NOV. 13, 7:30PMTHELAKELANDCENTER.COM

Launched in 2014, this weird and wildly popular circus-themed holiday show overtakes Lakeland for one night only. This is pretty impressive, festive stuff! This year, you can grab dinner before the show right at The Lakeland Center. Then sit and enjoy over 300 costumes, 20 acts, and 30 artists from all over the world. Enjoy talented singers, attractive aerialists, and sexy contortionists. Music, decorations, and new traditions for the entire family make this an oddball odds-on choice!

TAMPA BAY/ST. PETECHRISTMAS IN IRELANDLARGO CULTURAL CENTER, 105 CENTRAL PARK DR., LARGO, FL 33771WED. DEC. 9 AT 2PM & 7:30PM

Riverdance singer Michael Londra has been called “one of the greatest Irish singers of our time.” He’s also not hard on the eyes. Londra will be sharing some particularly Gaelic charm this holiday season at two concerts in Largo.

CELTIC WOMEN – HOME FOR CHRISTMASTHE MAHAFFEY THEATER, 400 1ST STREET SOUTH, ST PETERSBURG, FL 33701WED. DEC. 16, 7:30PMTHEMAHAFFEY.COM

Made popular by Putamaya Records, Celtic Women have gone multi-platinum worldwide, appearing on stages and televisions all over the globe. This Symphony Tour will not only feature an orchestra backing up these beautiful voices. Celtic Women will showcase songs from their second holiday album.

PETER AND THE STARCATCHERFREEFALL THEATRE, 6099 CENTRAL AVE, ST PETERSBURG, FL 33710DEC. 5 – 24, 2PM, 7PM, OR 8PMFREEFALLTHEATRE.COMThough not speci� cally a holiday show, this musical prequel to Peter Pan has enough magic and childlike wonder in it to melt any holiday heart. Expect pirates, mermaids, pixies, Lost Boys, a crocodile and lots of wondrous mayhem in this origin story about the boy who wouldn’t grow up.


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