What Happens Next? Adjusting to College

Advice from Crosby, Stills, Nash & sometimes Young

Linda Locher, Ph.D., Director, Psychological Services570-577-1604

“You, who are on the road…”

Parents & Students share the same road (college) but it looks very different from one generation to the next.

Who are they “who are on the road” and what are they facing?

Beloit College’s “Mindset List”For the class of 2011: What Berlin wall? Humvees have always been available to the public. They have grown up with bottled water. Nelson Mandela has always been free and a force in South Africa. Rap music has always been mainstream. The NBA season has always gone on and on and on and on. Classmates could include Bart Simpson. Eastern Airlines never “earned their wings” in their lifetime. Wal-Mart has always been a larger retailer than Sears. Stadiums and rock tours have always had corporate names. Fox has always been a network. MTV has never featured music videos. Avatars have nothing to do with Hindu deities. Chavez has nothing to do with iceberg lettuce and everything to do with oil.

Beloit College’s “Mindset List”For the class of 2012: Harry Potter is old enough to be a classmate. GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available. Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles. Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court. IBM has never made typewriters. There has always been Pearl Jam. The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno. Lenin’s name has never been part of the name of a major city in Russia.

The Soviet Union has never existed. Caller ID has always been available on phones. Club Med resorts have always been places to take the whole family. There have always been charter schools. They have really known only two Presidents of the United States. Iran & Iraq have never been at war with each other. “Whatever” is not part of a question.

The “Generational” differences:A Comparison of Generations

Baby Boomer(1943-1960)

Generation X(1961-1981)

Millennial(1982-2002)

Overall mood Passionate Cynical Practical

View of authority Attacked Ignored Trusted

Academic standards Easing Lax Tightening

Parental role Receding Distant Intruding

Violence & risk-taking

Rising High Conventional

Pop culture Controversial Alienated Bland

Racial/ethnic consciousness

Asserted Accepted Questioned

Cutting-edge fields Arts & humanities Business & high tech Politics & social science

Community service Falling Low Rising

Main arguments About war & country About race & gender About class & culture

The “big” question What does it mean? Does it work? How do we build it?

Generation Myths Baby boomers - Generation of protest, activism, liberalism!?

1969. Less than 1/3 of all undergraduates (28%) had participated in a demonstration.

1970. During the week following the shooting of students at Kent and Jackson state universities, 43% of the nation’s college and universities were entirely unaffected.

1969. Only 33% of undergraduates described themselves as liberal or left of center.

1969. Fifty-nine percent of students came to college to get training and skills for an occupation. Forty-nine percent saw the chief benefit of a college education as increasing their earning power.

Levine & Cureton1998

“You, who are on the road…”

1. Name one thing that you think is easier, and one thing that you think is harder, for college students today as compared with college students and the world a generation ago.

“Must have a code that you can live by…”Measure twice, cut once.You only live once.Golden rule.Platinum rule.

Wisdom from both sides: Despite “whatever”, they listen. (Values) Pencils & erasers. (Perfection isn’t

enough) Dyslexic faculty (Failure is part of growing)

“Must have a code that you can live by…”

2. Identify one value, belief or principle that has guided you in times of difficulty or doubt.

“Become yourself…”

Theory and Research regarding college student development.

Challenges across the years.

Social-Emotional DevelopmentCollege Students ParentsIdentity development - Fidelity Generativity - Care

Intimacy - Love Integrity - Wisdom

The Age of: IdentityInstabilitySelf-focusFeeling in betweenPossibilities

The Age of:Letting goDefining and assessing personal fulfillment in lifeCaring for aging parents - role reversalsTrusting, Faith & Hope

ChallengesStudents Parents

Develop skills of independent practice

Overcome anxiety and develop social comfort

Manage emotions Develop confidence over

narcissism Develop skills of assertiveness,

confrontation and negotiation

Develop skills of involvement “scaffolding” vs. intrusion

Develop skills of shared expectations and shared responsibility

Develop trust and compromise Differentiate between one’s own

expectations and necessities in life

Challenges across the yearsFi

rst Y

ear Students

Transition

Doubt - “Did I make the right choice?”“Will I succeed?”

Separation anxiety - homesickness, loss of childhood security, not being part of the family

Excitement of freedom and Experimentation

Competence & Confidence

Negotiating living with a “stranger”

ParentsTransition

Empty nest - Loss and Freedom

Letting go

Loss of parental identity

Trust

Loss of control

Change in First-Year Students’ Self-Concept Hurtado, S., Sax, L.J., Saenz, V., Harper, C.E., Oseguera, L., Curley, J., Lopez, L., Wolf, D., Arellano. L. (2007). Findings from the 2005 administration of Your First College Year (YFCY): National Aggregates. Los Angeles: Higher Education Research Institute.

Percent rating themselves “above average” or “highest 10%” relative to their peers on the following measures of self-concept:

At college entry

At the end of the 1st college year

Change

Self-understanding 52.3 56.7 +4.4

Spirituality 37.4 41.1 +3.7

Writing ability 50.8 54.1 +3.3

Forgiveness 56.6 59.8 +3.2

Cooperativeness 70.4 73.3 +2.9

Emotional health 51.6 53.9 +2.3

Artistic ability 30.6 32.1 +1.5

Change in First-Year Students’ Self-Concept

Percent rating themselves “above average” or “highest 10%” relative to their peers on the following measures of self-concept:

At college entry

At the end of the 1st college year

Change

Physical health 51.4 50.8 -0.6

Intellectual self-confidence 59.2 58.5 -0.7

Mathematical ability 48.2 44.9 -3.3

Drive to achieve 76.1 71.3 -4.8

Academic ability 76.5 68.4 -8.1

Change in Student Behaviors Over One Year

Percent indicating that they…“Frequently” or “occasionally”:

At college entry

At end of 1st college year

Change

Drink Beer 41.6 54.5 +12.9

Drink wine or liquor 50.4 62.0 +11.6

Participate in organized demonstrations

45.1 39.0 -6.1

Attend a religious service 81.2 56.4 -24.8

Perform volunteer work 87.3 61.5 -25.8

Change in Student Behaviors Over One Year

Percent indicating that they…“Frequently”:

At college entry

At end of 1st college year

Change

Feel overwhelmed 29.7 39.9 +10.2

Feel depressed 7.3 12.4 +5.1

Smoke cigarettes 4.1 6.6 +2.5

Discuss politics 28.2 20.7 -7.5

Socialize with someone of other ethnic group

69.9 57.2 -12.7

Challenges across the yearsS

opho

mor

eStudents

Allegiances & Decisions

Hall-mates new and old

Fraternity & Sorority membership

What does “Home” mean?

Decisions about majors

Has the relationship lasted?

Parents

Allegiances & Decisions

How do I divide time among other children, job, new interests & my college student?

Rejection - Do I convert his/her room? Why doesn’t she/he want to come?

Elder parent care

How much to I give advice, money, problem-solve and how much do I let my son/daughter take responsibility and consequences?

Challenges across the yearsJu

niorStudents

Stretching & Resilience

In-depth involvement in major and sport

Assuming leadership roles

Decisions about studying abroad & Culture shock adjustments

Relationships intensifying - commitment questions

Parents

Stretching & Resilience

How do I parent an adult child?

How do I welcome a possible future son/daughter-in-law?

What expectations do I have for my son/daughter to contribute to the family?

How do I let my son/daughter help me?

Challenges across the yearsS

enio

r Students

Transition

Self-reliance & Intimacy

Good-byes

Excitement and anxiety about possibilities

Commitments - to job, relationships, contributions to society,family

Parents

Transition

Pride & Anxiety

Good-byes

New life goals & roles for personal fulfillment

Am I ready for becoming a grandparent?

“Become yourself…”

3. Name one thing that makes you different from your son or daughter (answered by parents) from your mother or father (answered by students)Name one thing that makes your similar...

“And you, of tender years, Can’t know the fears That your elders grew by…”

Helicopter parents? Taking on the responsibilities as an

adult child - son/daughter

“Helicopter” Parents?Lafayette College’s First-year Parents’ & Students’

Survey (1999)

How close are you to your child entering college?Not close Somewhat close Close Very close

.5% 7.4% 28.0% 64.0%

During the college years, I expect to be involved in the decisions my son or daughter makes about: (Parents’ responses are in green, Students’ responses in red)

Item Disagree Somewhat Disagree

Somewhat Agree

Agree

Choosing a career 9.0 7.1 14.3 29.5 49.2 34.9 27.5 18.5

Choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend 48.9 61.6 31.9 33.6 18.6 3.4 .5 1.4Having sexual relationships 39.4 65.5 33.0 26.8 22.3 4.9 5.3 2.8Drinking alcohol 21.8 50.7 29.3 22.9 30.3 17.4 18.6 9.0Choosing classes each sem. 5.8 14.4 19.6 26.7 52.4 39.7 22.2 19.2

“Helicopter” Parents?Lafayette College’s First-year Parents’ & Students’

Survey (1999)

I expect to be notified by the college when…

(Parents’ responses are in green, Students’ responses in red)

Item Disagree Somewhat Disagree

Somewhat Agree

Agree

My student is missing a class regularly

6.8 9.7 4.7 15.2 13.2 32.4 75.3 42.8

My student is found guilty of a minor disciplinary violation

11.1 22.1 19.5 26.5 22.6 28.3 46.8 22.8

My student is found guilty of a major disciplinary violation

5.3 4.1 0.0 1.4 3.2 20.7 91.6 73.8

My student is doing poorly academically

4.7 4.8 2.6 8.3 8.9 33.1 83.7 53.8

My student is having a conflict with a roommate

13.2 20.7 24.3 42.8 32.3 28.3 30.2 14.5

“And you, of tender years, Can’t know the fears That your elders grew by…”

4. Identify one challenge you expect to face this year. How could your parents/son or daughter help you with this challenge?

“ Feed them on your dreams…” Taking on the responsibilities as an

adult son/daughter Dialogue - Initiative - “nature abhors a

vacuum” Negotiate - Give and take Empathic perspective - Recognize flaws

in parents & self

Talking about My Generation’s GoalsThe Pew Research Center for The People & The Press. (2007). How young people view their lives, futures and politics: A portrait of “Generation Next”, Washington: Pew Research Center.

Your generation’s most important goals in life?

Gen Next(18-25)

%

Gen X(26-40)

%To get rich 81 62

To be famous 51 29

To help people who need help 30 36

To be leaders in their community 22 33

To become more spiritual 10 31

None of these 2 2

Don’t know 1 1

Source: 2006 Gen Next Survey. Respondents were asked to choose the most important and next most important goals from these five options.

2007 College Senior Survey Institutional Profile – 17,156 respondents from Private 4yr. colleges

Item %Becoming accomplished in one of the performing arts 17.8Becoming an authority in my field 63.2Obtaining recognition from my colleagues… 56.4

Influencing political structure 26.5Influencing social values 52.7Being very well off financially 59.3Helping others who are in difficulty 77.7Becoming involved in programs to clean up the environment

30.4

Developing a meaningful philosophy of life 58.2Participating in a community action program 37.3Improving my understanding of other countries and cultures

60.6

Helping to promote racial understanding 39.9

Student objectives noted as “essential” or “very important”

“ Feed them on your dreams…”

5. Identify one thing you’d like your parents/son or daughter to appreciate about you.

6. Name one dream that you haven’t previously shared with your parents/son or daughter.

“ And know they love you…”

Poll: Young people's heroes are parents By Alan Fram and Trevor Tompson, Associated Press Writers  |  August 20, 2007 WASHINGTON --When it comes to those they most admire, young people do not

look chiefly to the worlds of music, today's wars or history. Instead, they turn to their own families.

Asked to name their heroes, young Americans surveyed by The Associated Press and MTV make their parents the collective top pick. Twenty-nine percent choose their mothers, 21 percent name their fathers and 16 percent pick their parents without specifying which one. Allowed to choose as many heroes as they'd like, nearly half mention at least one of their folks.

Jacquelynne Eccles, a University of Michigan psychology professor who has studied young people, says surveys she has helped conduct since 1980 have consistently found that parents are youths' most oft-named heroes.The AP-MTV poll was conducted by Knowledge Networks Inc. from April 16 to 23, and involved online interviews with 1,280 people aged 13 to 24. It had a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3 percentage points.

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