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What's Up with the Work World?
Dealing with Difficult Coworkers and Constituents
October 23, 2012
For webinar audio, call 888-437-3195.
Today’s Speakers
Bruce Feustel
Senior Fellow, NCSL Legislative Management Program
Denver, Colorado
Lore Christopher
Human Resources Director, Legislative Assembly
Salem, Oregon
Legislator-Citizen Connection Project
Dealing with Difficult Co-workers and Constituents
Overview:
• What's important?
• Difficult behaviors
• General considerations
• Specific strategies for common problems
• Final tips
What’s Important?
• Dealing with difficult co-workers and constituents
just part of the job
• This is a skill, like any other, that you can improve
• You can control your attitude and actions
• You can improve by planning, practice and
reflection
• Start by thinking of the best models you have seen
What’s Important?
Two models:
• Attacked by the Speaker
• Handling the unbalanced constituent
What’s Important?
Question 1: What's the most important attribute in
these situations:
• Calm demeanor
• Patience
• Focus on doing your job
• Objectivity
• Don't take things personally
• Courage to stick up for yourself
• Assertiveness
What’s Important?
Difficult Behaviors
Difficult behavior/ co-workers:
• Negative Attitude
• Bullying
• Gossiping
• Micromanaging
• Nonresponsive (ignoring your emails or other
communication)
• Untrustworthy
• Personality differences
Difficult Behaviors
Difficult behavior/ constituents:
• Anger
• Chronic complainer
• Long winded
• Political opponent
• Disrespectful
• Won't accept legislator's solution/decision
• Unrealistic expectations
Difficult Behaviors
Question 2: What's your most difficult coworker?
• Negative Attitude
• Bully
• Gossip
• Micromanager
• Nonresponsive (ignoring your emails or other
communication)
• Untrustworthy
General Considerations
• Stay in the moment-difficulty may come as
surprise
• North Star focus on what is important
• Emphasize engaged listening
• Calm
• Professional
General Considerations
• Can I handle this by myself? What goes to
HR/my boss?
• Violence or threat of violence
• Criminal or ethical violation
• Sexual harassment
• Persistent and significant problem
General Considerations
• Handle in the moment as best you can
• Don't respond in emotion or anger
• Reflect on what you want, what is wrong
• Is this ongoing?
• Would it help to talk to trusted colleague/
friend/supervisor?
• Stick up for yourself
• Decide what needs to be done and do it
General Considerations
What's my role in all of this?
• Personality differences-Myers/Briggs
examples
• Knowing your hot buttons
• Recognizing stress
• Objectively review your own behavior
• To someone, you are the difficult co-worker
General Considerations
Discussing problem with the difficult person
• Find safe, neutral ground and time
• Using "I" statements
• Active listening-seek first to understand (Covey)
• Ask open-ended questions
• Be clear and specific
• Have suggestions
• Be open to other's suggestions
• Professional, not personal
• Find solution or find help
General Considerations
Anger:
• Stay calm and focused
• Listen to make sure you understand person's
viewpoint
• Assess anger: general bully, genuine anger, a
tactic or what?
• Stay professional-you can only control yourself
• Don't take personally unless it is
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Negative Attitude:
• Keep your positive approach
• Is this legitimate criticism?
• Ask for specific facts
• If appropriate, ask the person for ideas
• Avoid whiners where possible
• You can't change everyone
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Disrespectful:
• Stay professional
• Use evidence-based information
• Use opinions of others
• Use team approach or have witnesses where
appropriate
• Cover yourself
• Be clear about what's next
• Take satisfaction in your own actions
• You won't earn everyone's respect
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Micromanaging/bossy:
• Is the person your boss?
• Build the case for more independence
• May get independence in some areas,
not others
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Gossip:
• Legislatures are gossip havens
• Differentiate between intel and gossip
• Develop strategy to pull out of gossip
conversations
• If it focuses on you, clarify with people who need
to know
• Protect confidential information
Specific Strategies for Common Problems
Points of emphasis:
• Dealing with difficult people is a skill-consciously
develop it
• Find models who do this well
• Seek guidance, then plan, reflect and practice
• Recognize when you hit these situations
Final Tips
Points of emphasis:
• Arturo's North Star focus
• Stay calm and listen
• Reflect with mentor/supervisor/HR where
appropriate
• Decide what needs to be done and do it
Final Tips
Why Involve HR…ever?
Neutral Party Perspective
Documentation of concern and remedy
Experience with workplace issues
When and How to involve HR?
Sooner rather than later before the conflict escalates
and HR is involved in potential disciplinary action.
Accept responsibility up front for asking HR for help.
Inform other party in advance of asking for HR help.
Brief HR prior to meeting together of your concerns.
Allow other party to brief HR of their concerns.
Meet as one body to solve the concerns.
What HR will do for you…
Objectively listen to both party’s concerns.
Propose solutions based on experience with similar
past concerns and remedies.
Follow-up to ensure that progress is being made and
that the concerns are diminishing.
Document the concerns.
Serve as a “safe haven” for both parties to speak
frankly to resolve the issues.
Questions?
Contact Information
•The webinar archive and power points will be
available next week.
•Bruce Feustel: [email protected]
•NCSL: [email protected]
NCSL Fall Forum
• December 5-7, 2012
• Washington, D.C.
www.ncsl.org/forum
Thank You
