When Destiny Offers Her Hand Reach Out and Grab
It
By Meeta Kaur
My privilege and responsibility as a Sikh-American writer
Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes
responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who
does not want to carry his/her own weight, this is a frightening prospect.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Our responsibility as Sikhs
Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other’s
welfare, social justice can never be attained.
Helen Keller
Questions
• Is there a relationship between free will and destiny according to the Guru Granth Sahib
• How do free will and destiny work together in our lives as Sikhs?
• Can free will impact pre-determined karma that is in play?
• How does love shape our destinies as Sikhs?
Methodology for discussion
• We will engage in a story-telling exercise to tease out the questions
• Received permission to tell this individual’s story
• Reflect on patterns and the impact of those patterns
Discussion of Reflections
• In transparency, I am looking at these concepts through the lens of a story and my own biases
• I invite the audience to participate in the discussion during the Q and A so we can draw a more comprehensive conclusion
• Every voice counts• There is no right or wrong in these discussions
Story time
• Relax• Close your eyes• Take in the story like a breath of air
Dhanna Singh Malhi
Defining moments for Dhanna Singh
1. His mother passing at the age of 2 -- lost his primary bond, was unaware of what a mother’s love is
2. His father sending him to his Mama Ji’s home for education at the age of 8 – groomed to be a professional in the U.S.
3. Coming to America to practice medicine 4. A heart attack every 10 years – a chance to pause
and reflect at the way he was living (self-created)
Reflections on Dhanna Singh’s story
“O Nanak, only your actions shall go with you; the consequences of your actions cannot be erased.” Guru Arjan Dev Ji, Page 460
Reflections: Dhanna Singh decided to study 16-18 hours a day building up his destiny to become a doctor. Success begets success.
Reflections Continued
“O Nanak, only your actions shall go with you; the consequences of your actions cannot be erased.” Guru Arjan Dev Ji, pg 460Reflection: When Dhanna Singh chose success and money over developing his relationships with his wife and children, his decisions caught up with him in the form of heart attacks and his karmic debt as a householder
Reflections Continued
“O Nanak, only your actions shall go with you; the consequences of your actions cannot be
erased.” Guru Arjan Dev Ji, pg 460
Reflection: Again, Dhanna Singh chooses to work equally as hard to reverse his situation
with his family members and works at his relationships continuously non-stop for 5 years
rebuilding trust and respect
A different lens on the same story
Love is not an idea that a person may be taught or given, we learn what love is through experience. --
Wahe Guru Net
Reflection: To fulfill his duties as a Sikh, Dhanna Singh had to learn what love is in the absence of his
parent’s love. Wahe Guru equipped him to climb this learning curve and his free will allowed him to keep
making that choice continuously changing his destiny with his family.
Reflection
Why was it important that Dhanna Singh learn these virtues, learn the traits we need to love
unconditionally?
As Sikhs, I believe we are not only taught to love our families unconditionally, but also love humanity
unconditionally. When we understand our duty, our destiny as the ability to love and serve humanity
unconditionally, we can restore the vision of the world the Gurus blueprinted 500 years ago.
Reflections
“According to one’s desires, one’s condition is determined” (Guru Nanak Dev Ji, p.1342) “That alone is a good deed, O Nanak, which is done by one’s own free will” (Guru Angad Dev Ji, p.787)
What seems like a contradiction based on Dhanna Singh’s Narrative
“By one’s own actions, nothing can be done; destiny was pre-determined from the very beginning. By great
good fortune, I meet my God, and then all pain of separation departs” (Guru Arjan Dev Ji, p.135)
Dhanna Singh realized that his mother’s passing shaped him, defined him, and he also realized that he could use free will to change the destiny he had built
up from circumstances out of his control. We can overcome anything.
Our destiny as Sikh Americans
In understanding that as Sikhs, we determine our own destinies, we are primed to not only be
social justice advocates on behalf of our own community, but also defend the the rights of
other minority communities around the country/world.
We can pre-determine the destiny we hand to our children starting now