Assertive SkillsCommunication

LifestyleAttitude

A thought Process

1. Core Concept Of assertion

2. History of Assertive skills

3. Communication styles4. Communication Styles

with respect to Transactional Analysis and conflict management

5. To be assertive Do’s and Don’ts

6. Activities and much more.

Group Members;Hira Naz (Q&A)

2641Shenila Dossani

3305Shanza Khan 2639Muhammad Abdullah(Q&A) 2643Syed Hussain Raza 2666

Activity express in your way!!!Did You Ever reject the Wedding proposal ???Let us know how!!!

Assertion “the Concept”Posture Voice

Body Language

Perception

Words

Why I am Doing this! and What do I want to Achieve!

Confidence

ToneEye contact

Assertion “the Concept”Core Concept is Creating a Balance and Recognizing

What I want and What Others Point Of View IS !

NeedBelieveWant

From my Point Of View

I amNot

Arrogant But Its

about MY Ownership

!!!!As I See Things

N.U.TsN; Non negotiableU; UnalterableT; terms

In short Defining

Boundaries!!!

Its About

My prioritie

s

Without Violating the

rights of others

Assertive Communication History

Lazarus (1973) was the first to identify Specific classes of responses in which assertive behavior can be defined : “ THE ABILITY TO SAY NO, the ability to ask favor or make requests, ability to express positive and negative feelings, the ability to initiate, continue and finish a general conversation.” Lowrence(1997) extend the concept of assertiveness to “learning ability to adapt behavior to interpersonal situation on demands so that positive consequences are best and negative one minimum.”

Lange and Jacubowski (1976)claimed that “assertiveness involves personal rights and expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs directly, honestly and appropriately, without violating the rights of others.”

Styles of Communication4 Major Styles of

communication

PassivePassive AgressiveAggressiveAssertive

Communication StylesPassive CommunicationSoft voiceOverly agreeable, no point of view

expressedAvoidanceWithdrawn body languageSound unsureBeat around the bushSound hopeless or helpless

Passive/AggressiveCommunicationAppears to agree but really does not

agreeTells others but not the source of the

concernremarksMakes subtle digs and sarcasticKeeps score, sets conditionsNonverbal message contradicts the

verbal messageHolds back expressing concerns or

providing assistanceCriticizes after the fact

Communication styles

Aggressive CommunicationBlaming, accusing Intimidating body languageDemanding, orderingRaised voiceHarsh, personal languageVerbal browbeating

MARKET ANALYSIS

Assertive CommunicationTakes responsibilityTakes initiativeListens activelySpeaks up, is direct and constructiveShows sincerity Is solutions focusedAssumes a confident voice and body

languageAddresses concerns directly to the sourceRequests needs

Don’t confuse aggressive with assertive.

Aggressive BluntHarsh in toneBlame and BrowbeatPush for your own wayOne-way conversation

flow

AssertiveDirectFirm in toneCollaborates on

solutionsSpeaks up, yet hears

others opinionsTwo-way conversation

flow

Styles of Communication With respect to Transactional AnalysisMany Scholars related the assertive mood of communication with Transactional analysis

Child Ego (nurtured child)

Parent Ego (constructive parent)

Adult Ego state

Critical Parent Ego state and Wild Child

Passive behavior

Assertive behavior

Aggressive behavior

Open DirectHonest Equal

Call NamesJudge whole PersonHit person Says YOU

DishonestManipulativeSarcasticNot directpouting

TA: Life Positions

I’m not OK –You’re OK

I’m OK –You’re Not OK

I’m not OK –You’re not OK

I’m OK –You’re OK

Negative Positive

Attitude toward Others

Attit

ude

towa

rd O

nese

lf

Negative

Positive

Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people:

PassiveBehavior

AggressiveBehavior

Passive-AggressiveBehavior

AssertiveBehavior

Assertive Behavior with respective to Conflict Management Styles and life positions

Class Activity

Results to Activity0 – 5 You need to practice hard6 – 10 You are doing Ok, but still need some practice11 – 15 Doing well. Keep it up!

Do’s and Don'ts to be assertive

DoMake Eye Contacts while communicatingGo Direct, Brief, Honest and RelaxedBe Firm and determentSelect the words before formal communicationYou must know that what you are saying and you know that opposite party could understand what you are saying

Do notMake your eye do not like contact starving and visualizing whole bodyDon’t use your imagination or perception in negative way try to get a positive noteDon’t get excited or nervous in little bitsDon’t take thing to much personallyDon’t try to proof yourself more educated by making more deep language

Assertive Communication isNot a guaranteeNot another “should”Not negativeTaking charge of oneselfMiddle ground styleAn active expressive focus

World Most Assertive and Admirable Personalities

Hazart Muhammad Mustafa (SaallAllah-HuAlihi-waAlehii-wasalam)

Quaid e Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah