Training Program on

Presented By:-

Sucheta Deshpande 09-715Supriya Gouda 09- 717Deepali Koli 09-735

Assertiveness Skills

Training Module

Course Level: Basic through advancedDuration: 1 dayTraining Presented in: EnglishTrainers: Supriya, Sucheta & DeepaliNumber of Trainees: 8Venue: Vidyalankar Institute of

TechnologyTime: 1 p.m

Icebreaker : Congratulations

Course Objectives

Understand the philosophy of being assertive.

Recognize the differences between being assertive & aggressive

Controlling emotions

Successful Strategies to become confident

Setting clear boundaries

Experiential working through simulations

Use what already works

Use of quiz, management games, simulations etc.

Have You Ever

Felt… … guilty about saying “no”?

… that others regard you as a pushover?

… that it’s better to be well liked than well respected?

… that outbursts of anger are appropriate?

… that intimidation is the only way you can get what you want?

Sounds Familiar?

If any of these things sound like you, it means you are probably exhibiting non-assertive behavior.

Realize that you are not alone.

Non-assertive behavior is very common in people.

What Assertiveness is..

An honest, direct, and appropriate expression of one's feelings, thoughts, and beliefs

A response that seeks to maintain an appropriate balance between passivity and aggression.

Respect for yourself and others

Effectively influencing, listening, and negotiating with others.

Why Assertiveness Is Important? Effective communication brings

about the achievement of individual and/or shared goals.

Assertiveness increases your ability to reach these goals while maintaining your rights and dignity.

Quiz

Characteristics of Assertive Person

Tend to face problems promptly and they focus

on solutions rather than problems. 

A person with an assertive attitude recognizes

that each individual has rights.

Defend themselves when someone else attempts

to dominate them

Use aggression defensively, and never offensively.

Chocolate Game

AGGRESSIVE PASSIVE ASSERTIVEMeaning opinions, feelings,

and wants are honestly stated, but at the expense of others

– opinions, feelings, and wants are withheld altogether or expressed indirectly

opinions, feelings, and wants are clearly stated without violating the rights of others

Advantages

get what they want

minimizes responsibility for making decisions

– active participation in making decisions, getting what you want without alienating others etc

Disadvantages

– make enemies and people avoid them

– low self-esteem and having to live with others decisions

What you are???

What’s Keeping You From Being Assertive?

Fear of change.

Fear of ruining relationships if you speak your mind.

Fear of making mistakes

Fear of displeasing others

Fear of disapproval

Lack confidence in your ability

The Myths About Assertiveness

Other people’s feelings and rights are more important than yours.

You are not important enough to express your feelings and rights.

You will offend other people by being assertive.

ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

Situation # 1

Your friend, who habitually arrives late for

your plans, has shown up twenty minutes late

for a lunch date.

“You’re so rude! You’re always late.”

"We were supposed to meet at 11:30, but now

it’s 11:50."

Situation # 2 Your friend’s certain type of

behaviour annoys you.

“You need to stop that!” “I’d like it if you’d stop that.”

Verbal Communication

Avoid fillers like “uh” and “um” and diminutives like “little,” “only” and “just.”

Don’t use “I’m sorry” if you’re not sincere or if the situation doesn’t call for it.Always keep in mind your tone and volume, and how think about how they may be perceived by others.

Non-Verbal CommunicationBe aware of gestures and

body language.

Make sure to allow for comfortable personal space between you and the person you’re communicating with.

Always maintain good

posture.

Written Communication

Be concise and clear.

Use the active voice when writing, and remember to be inclusive and aware of your audience.

Use specific and simple language.

Assertive Listening

Let the other person know that you

want to understand his/her point of

view.

Understand accurately what the other

is saying.

Let the other know that s/he has been

understood.

*This doesn’t mean that you have to

agree!

Examples:

“I’d like to hear your views on…”

“Could you tell me about…”

“I’m confused about your stand on…”

“What does the situation look like from

your perspective…?”

Nonverbal Assertiveness

Eye contact.

Posture

Facial expression

Gestures

Personal Appearance

Tone of Voice

Conflicts & Assertiveness Deal with the situation immediately.

Listen carefully.

Avoid being defensive.

Ask questions.

Compliment the individual/group

for having the courage to bring this to your

attention.

Respond calmly and clearly.

Offer alternatives.

Controlling Your Emotions

1. Breathe, relax, and

remain calm.

2. Realize demonstrations

of anger, shouting, and

threats are never

appropriate.

3. Use neutral, non-

judgmental statements.

Contd..

4. Consider the other

party’s viewpoint and

emotions.

5. Don’t make accusatory

statements-- blame is

usually a dead-end road.

6. Check yourself before

you say something you’ll

regret later on.

Four Steps To Saying “No”

1. Listen to the request

2. Say no immediately

3. Give a reason for your refusal

4. Offer to find an alternative

Assertiveness Tips… Actually use the word "no" when declining. Pay attention to what others are saying

and let them know that you are listening. Anger may seem like a quick fix, but it will

get you nowhere fast. Yelling until you are blue in the face will

only come back to haunt you later.

Be aware of your gestures and how you hold

and present yourself.

Always ask questions when clarification is needed to avoid misunderstanding.

Look for ways to solve the problem so all parties are satisfied.

Make sure your body reflects confidence Try to think win-win Don’t assume you know what the other

person’s motives are Avoid feeling guilty

It Doesn't End Here !!

Think about the situations you encounter

where you would like to be more assertive.

Develop an action plan: what will you do

differently in the future in order to be

more assertive?

"Let's build bridges, not walls“

-MLK, Jr.

THANK YOU