Chapter 13:Standing Up For Your Point of

View

Lizette Solórzano

A state of opposition between persons or ideas or interests that exists when there is a divergence of goals, objectives or expectations.

Occurs when two or more people compete over limited resources and/or perceived or actual incompatible goals.

3 types of conflicts: Simple conflictPseudo conflictEgo conflict

Conflict

Is subject or topic oriented.Disagreements over differences about

substantive topics of social, political or economic nature.

Simple Conflict

Occurs when there is communication breakdown difference between sender and receiver.

Receiver decodes the message differently than the sender intended when they encoded it.

Pseudo Conflict

Occurs as a result of personality differences between two people.

Hardest type of conflict to resolve because one’s dignity, or self-esteem, or self respect, or pride is involved.

Ego Conflict

Relationship Argumentation Fighting is next to impossible in marriages where both

partners feel free to express their differences. Most important question is: Are the fights fair? Most common issues couples fight about are: sex,

money, work, children, in-laws, religion, and housework. According to family therapist Paula Hill common reasons

why fighting occurs are: Unresolved issues Sensitive issues Fighting for you deeper

needs Hidden payoffs Failure to stick to the issues Not wanting to compromise

Poor timing Garbage-bagging Playing psychologist Winning at all costs Claiming the moral high

ground

Individuals can approach the conflict, when faced with a dispute with one of the 3 behavioral ways: Nonassertive or passive behavior Assertive behavior Aggressive behavior

Behavioral Approaches to Conflict

People ignore disputes because they hope that they will go away soon.

Being passive is when someone fails to express honest feelings, thoughts, and beliefs or expressing one’s thoughts and feelings in such an apologetic, self-effacing manner that others don’t take notice.

Goal of passivity= to appease others and to avoid conflict at any cost.

Take no responsibility for conflict resolution. They do not see themselves as casual or active agents of positive change.

May complain, but usually do nothing to gain control in their argumentative environment. They fear they will lose from additional conflict encounters.

Nonassertive or Passive Behavior

Standing up for personal rights and expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest, and appropriate ways that do not violate another person’s rights.

“This is what I think. This is what I feel. This is how I see the situation.”

Goal of assertion= communication and mutuality.Want to resolve conflict in a positive way by

engaging in a conflict and argument. Set up a win-win or no-lose approach to problem

solving.

Assertive Behavior

Directly standing up for personal rights and expressing thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a way that is often dishonest, usually inappropriate, and always violates the rights of others.

“This is what I think- you’re stupid for believing differently. This is what I want- what you want is not important. This is what I feel- your feelings don’t count.”

Goal of aggression= domination and winning. Revenge is a major reason for using this approach. Can take 2 forms: direct and indirect. Both types seek a win-lose perspective.

Aggressive Behavior

Usually involves reacting to a conflict situation by trying to overpower a person through verbal abuse.

Use name-calling and high intensity language to intimidate the other party.

Direct Aggression

Expresses hostility in obscure ways that usually cause more anger and conflict.

Avoid direct confrontation. The following 8 types of indirect aggressors:

Guiltmakers: make other party feel guilty in order to get them to agree with their point of view.

Subject changers: avoid topic in favor of one they can win.

Jokers: try to turn every argument into a laughing matter.

Blamers: believes conflict is always someone else’s fault.

Backstabbers: talk negatively about someone behind their back.

Withholders: refuse to reveal what they really feel or want.

Trappers: set verbal traps to create a fight they feel they can win.

Kitchen-sink fighters: throw everything into an argument, causing the argument to lose focus.

Indirect Aggression

Refutation: the process of standing up for a point of view, being able to support and defend that point of view, showing weaknesses in your opponent's arguments, and being able to persuade a target audience that your point of view is the best one is skill-oriented process that must be learned and practiced.

May be the most important, overlooked and essential skill in the argumentative process.

Goal is to get audience to deny adherence to an opponent's position while getting them to grant acceptance to your position.

Defending Your Point of View

Failures in these areas that will causes a target audience to reject your rebuttal, and award adherence to your opponents:

Audiences expect the use of evidence and logical appeals in situations that they identify as attempts at influence.

Some receivers tend to be open to information and reasoning materials and are likely to be influenced by them.

Evidence and documentation can improve persuasiveness as contrasted to repeated assertions without support.

Two-sided presentations seem warranted when dealing with hostile audiences, with well-educated groups, and with people interested in the topic or desiring additional information about the topic.

Defending Your Point of View

The role played as a critic of arguments is important to the process of critical decision making.

Follow the rules of argumentation theory. In any argumentative situation, a tie goes to the

status quo. The pro side has failed to meet its burden of proof. Failure is reason enough to deny claim adherence.

Remain with the status quo.Anytime someone wants you to change something

that you currently believe or do, they must present enough proof to reach your threshold for accepting a new status quo.

Judging and Evaluating Arguments