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The Marmite alphabetacy 24

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Wazzup.I hope you had a great Christmas! Personally, I’m still recovering from David Tennant’s exit from Dr Who. Oh great! Now I’m all emotional... ANYWAY, I think you’ll be quite amazed at the way that I stretch out not a lot of actual content into lots of slides. I really am trying to get better. Well, enjoy and please contact me with any comments or CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

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“I’m-aack-I’m sorry” the girl choked helplessly “Please stop-ack- It’ll nev-never happen again! Please-”“Now, now, mistakes have to be punished,” a cold voice replied. “And this is the fourth time that you’ve put foam on my cappuccino when I specifically told you not to.”“Please...” the girl could hardly speak at all now.

Clutching her throat, the girl fell to the floor as her legs collapsed beneath her.

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“Laci, please...” she begged in barely more than a whisper.The witch waited still the girl had ceased to jerk feebly, gave her a prod with the toe of her pointed boot and frowned.“That’s Ms Johnson to you girl.”

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Laci watched as the natural shadows of the landscape gathered together, forming a spectral figure. Death approached the crumpled figure of the girl and sighed with a noise like sand running through a million hourglasses and then spoke in a voice like granite slabs falling onto each other. THIS WAS NOT HER TIME. SHE HAD MANY YEARS TO LIVE YET LACI JOHNSON.

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Laci laughed. “Since when is that any of your concern? You know your job, your limitations.” she sneered. “Right and wrong has nothing to do with it.”Death said nothing but tightened his grip on his scythe.“What are you going to do?” she jeered. Death remained silent. “hmm, I thought so”

Laci watched as Death swept his scythe, severing the bond between body and spirit. A pale image of the girl rose up into the air. It lingered for a few seconds then faded. Death dissolved into cold shadows.

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“Gok, do you not think it’s a bit mad?” Galinda asked worriedly. “I mean, shouldn’t Giselle be in a hospital or something?”Gok sighed. He was exhausted-they all were. No one had slept properly since they had found Giselle sprawled on the hall floor, apparently asleep but impossible to wake.“Doctors can’t help her, she’s not in a coma...medically she’s fine.”

“But what exactly is the logic behind our current plan? It’s just.. Well it’s barmy isn’t it?”“We don’t know what else to do and Godric says that-”“Oh Godric says does he? Well it’s Godric’s fault that she got all that princess stuff into her head!”

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“I admit that it’s a little unorthodox, but Godric’s right. I think this is what Giselle would want...it’s very well, it’s very Giselle.”“It’s just the thought of her locked away up there in that tower...”“Ok, it makes no sense to us.” Gok sighed. “But when has any part of Giselle’s world view made sense to us? Godric knows her better than anyone and he’s taken this harder than anyone. This plan doesn’t harm Giselle, Godric seems to think it will actually help her. And at any rate, it helps him.”“Yeah, I suppose” she replied forlornly.

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Godric had indeed suffered more than the rest of the family because he had always been so close to Giselle. He had taken a break from his band (My allergic reaction) but his band mates had been highly supportive and he was now ready to start performing again. “Great to have you back Godric,” Kate smiled.“I can’t spend any more time cooped up in the house with Meretrix” he sighed. “She’s driving me insane.”“I’ve always said she’s a nutter.”

“She says the same about you” he laughed.

It was the band’s first performance in 3 months and all of Godric’s siblings* had turned up to support him as well as some old friends.

*Except Giselle OBVIOUSLY.

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“You came!” he cried in disbelief.“Well after you went to so much effort to track me down.” Elphaba shifted uncomfortably and tried desperately to remember that as far as Godric knew her name was Emma. She just hadn’t been able to resist the temptation to be around so many unknowing relatives. She had half hoped that Ysabell might have been there but it was better that she wasn’t; how would she have acted around the daughter she abandoned?

“Thanks for coming Emma, I’ve got to get back on stage , I’ll come and chat in a bit.”“Ok, great!” She replied feebly. Now what? She asked herself.The bar. She replied.

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Seated next to her was a girl who simply had to one of Godric’s siblings. As she could not be Giselle and was clearly not the famous Galinda Elphaba assumed she was Ginny. “Um, Ginny?” she ventured. The sad looking girl turned and smiled weakly.“Yes..sorry, have we met?”“I..er...knew your parents way way back. How are they?”“I wouldn’t know” she said sorrowfully. “I’m told they’re fine but as I haven’t spoken to them in over a year...”she trailed off.

Elphaba asked her why and had worried that this would be too personal a question but Ginny actually seemed grateful for an opportunity to vent her frustration. She explained about her mother’s insane pressure and refusal to listen, her leaving in the middle of the night and the crazy accusations made against her. It seemed very unlikely to Elphaba that this sweet girl would ever sell her mother’s inventions to her most hated rival and she greatly pitied Ginny. Disguising exact names (for obvious reasons) she told Ginny about how she too had felt an outcast from her family. This seemed to comfort her and the two bonded quickly.

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They spent lots of time together from then onwards and when the rest of her siblings left for Susan’s birthday party (which she was not attending because she knew Farnsworth would be there) Ginny went for a stroll with ‘Emma’. Accidently, they stumbled upon an overgrown courtyard with a wishing well in the centre.“What is this place?” ‘Emma’ asked.

“Oh just an old courtyard left over from before this was a University. It’s really quite old. Giselle used to come here lots to make wishes back before-” she fell silent and looked away to disguise tears. In doing so, she noticed a man standing by the wishing well.

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Prince Edward had come here every day since he had met Giselle, the love of his life, but she had not returned.“Oh where are you Giselle?” he sobbed

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“Erm, are you ok?” Ginny asked.“Unfortunately kind peasant I am not. I am Prince Edward of Andalasia,I seek a fair maid, the princess Giselle, whom I love and I fear some evil may have befallen her.”Ginny’s first reaction was to get this man a therapist, but if he knew Giselle perhaps he could shed some light on what had happened to her.

“Giselle’s...unwell. No one knows what’s wrong with her. It’s like she’s asleep but no one can wake her.”He gasped. “ A foul enchantment! Is this the hag who bewitched her?!”

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Before Ginny could stop him he had launched at ‘Emma’ brandishing his sword wildly.“NO!” Ginny yelled. “This is Emma and she’s a friend of mine!”Edward sheathed his sword but continued to eye ‘Emma’ with suspicion.“Take me to her!” he pleaded. “I will free her from the enchantment!”“Oh yeah?” Ginny asked “How exactly?”“Why with true love’s kiss of course; the most powerful thing in the world!”

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“True love’s kiss?” Ginny asked in disbelief. “You really think that a kiss will-”“Erm actually-” ‘Emma’ interjected. “If magic is the cause of her condition, which is perfectly plausible seeing as princesses are always such likely magical targets, Edward’s plan may actually help. It’s very old magic, almost forgotten, but there’s a chance...”

“See! Listen to the wise hag!” Flinging himself to the floor he bowed before them.“I beg you kind peasant, if you love the fair Giselle then take me to her.”

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And so they ascended to the highest room of the tower in which Giselle slept peacefully inside a glass coffin. Like the courtyard, the tower had stood there for over 3 centuries. Godric had considered it to be perfect as it seemed to have everything that that towers in Giselle’s favourite stories had: a single window, a self playing harp, a mysterious glass coffin etc. It was strange really that such a place should exist...

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Edward approached his sleeping love. She looked so peaceful and even more beautiful than he remembered.

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Ginny was muttering something about how ridiculous this all was but ‘Emma’ shushed her as Edward puckered up and approached the coffin. He laid a single delicate kiss on her sleeping lips and stood back, hardly breathing in excitement. Despite herself, Ginny found that she too was holding her breath. They watched in wonder as Giselle began to stir and all three of them let out a cry of joy as she opened her eyes.

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Giselle let out a yawn. “How ever did I get here? Have I been asleep long?”“Errr... You could say that.” Ginny laughed as Ginny made her way down from the coffin.

“My head...it feels really most peculiar...I can’t quite...I’m so confused.” Just then she spotted Edward. “Edward!”“Giselle!”“I’m so confused Edward.”“Don’t worry my love, we’re together now, ready to live happily ever after.”“Hey,” said Ginny as Giselle and Edward began to twirl about the room. “Where’s that music coming from?”

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You're the fairest maid I've ever metYou were made...

...to finish your duet

And in years to come we'll reminisce

How we came to love

And grew and grew love

Since first we knew love through true love's kiss

E

E

G

G

E&G

E&G

Do they always burst

into song like this?Oh yes.

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..........................................

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“Well this is fantastic! Everyone will be so surprised once they get back from Susan’s party! In the meantime, let’s boogie to this apparently enchanted harp!”

Memories rushed back to Giselle with dizzying speed.She remembered all that she had overheard.Laci, Meretrix, their plot to murder Susan, the lies Meretrix had told to drive Ginny and Farnsworth apart...Giselle stumbled backwards and was caught by Edward. “We have to get to that party” she whispered.

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Hastily, she told them all she had overheard, much to their horror. “But why would they want to harm little Susan?!” cried Ginny“Because of me.” ‘Emma’ growled. They stared at her in surprise. “ I’ve not been honest with you. My name is Elphaba Marmite. Yes, the sister of your grandfather Elendil. I tricked Laci and effectively stole powerful dark magic from her. I had intended to resurrect my father but decided to first help another.”“When you resurrected Casper, Eeyore’s husband?” Ginny asked and Elphaba nodded.

“The magic was deeply flawed and Casper was a crude imitation of his former self. I sought help from a friend, Kennedy Cox the vampire, who helped me restore Casper fully. But to do so I made a deal with Death. He asked me to take care of an item for him. I had no choice, I couldn’t leave Casper the way he was, so I agreed. It turned out that the item was a child. The next morning I found I was pregnant.”“You had a baby with DEATH?”“Yes,” she sighed. “But Laci and the sisterhood hadn’t finished with me. I knew my daughter would never be safe whilst she was in my care. So I left her with Elendil shortly before I was driven from Gotham.”“Ysabell?” Ginny and Giselle asked together.“Yes. I should never have returned to Gotham. I should have known that it would only be a matter of time before Laci discovered that I had a daughter...and now a granddaughter. She will murder Susan in revenge for what I did to her.”“Not if we stop her.” Edward said determinedly.

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Meanwhile, Susan was currently the centre of The Leaky Cauldron’s finest birthday party package-complete with black balloons!Her family gathered to watch her grow into a child who greatly resembled her grandmother at that age (although no one knew this of course)

“Happy birthday Susan.” Meretrix’s smile unsettled Susan for reasons she couldn’t quite place.“Erm, thank you” she replied timidly“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten your present. I’ll arrive soon, and it’s something we can all enjoy.” She laughed in a cold cruel chuckle that made Susan’s skin prickle. Meretrix reached out to stroke Susan’s cheek when suddenly-

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“GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH!”Ginny burst through the doors followed closely by a witch known to a few of those present as ‘Emma’, a slightly goofy man in a cape who was wildly brandishing a sword and- much to everyone’s amazement- Giselle. “She’s going to try to murder Susan!”

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“Don’t be ridiculous!” Meretrix snapped but Giselle’s unepected presence had shaken her and her voice trembled slightly.

“It’s true! I overheard everything!” Giselle exclaimed. “She’s in cahoots with an evil witch. She’s been feeding her information and trying to tear us apart. She’s the one who’s been selling Mum’s inventions to Wernstrum! They cursed me so that I couldn’t warn anyone!”

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“Is this true Meretrix?” Godric was devastated. Had she been using him for all this time?“No! Uh-of course not Goddykins!” she replied desperately.“Oh give it up girl.” said a new voice.

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“I had hoped to make my entrance rather more dramatic than this but I no longer have the option. Yes boy, she’s been using you and you deserve some credit for putting up with her for all this time. She’s been very useful to me but I don’t think I could stand her for more than an hour at a time. And you’re here too are you?” she said turning to Elphaba. “ I had hoped to keep you out of this lest you complicate things but I think it will make things rather more thrilling. Prepare to see Susan die.”

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*POP*

“You foul sorceress! Taste my blade!” yelled Edward as he unsheathed his sword and swung it crazily as he ran towards her-popping some balloons in the process. Laci sighed and lazily flicked her wand.

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Edward threw his sword aside and began to behave like a chicken.“Oh Edward.” Giselle moaned sorrowfully.

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“Well you still have to get through me!” Elphaba snarled. “Oh I haven’t forgotten you Elphaba.” Laci smiled

“Elphaba?” Ysabell cried. “As in-”

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“Yes, Elphaba as in your mother Ysabell. Who abandoned you.”“That’s not fair! “ Elphaba cried. “I couldn’t have taken you! It wouldn’t have been safe. I left you with Elendil because I knew he’d love you and care for you. I’m so sorry...” she trailed off.“Just think, soon your father will be here too and it’ll be a real reunion!” Meretrix laughed.“Quiet!” Laci snapped.“How do you know?” Elphaba yelled in shock.

“You can’t trust a vampire to keep secrets Elphaba.” Meretrix continued. “Especially not a hungry one. Kennedy only needed a little persuasion before he revealed you secret.”“Shut up Meretrix!” Laci snapped again but she continued.“Your father Ysabell, is Death!” her eyes were wild now.“What do you mean?” asked Ysbabell“Death himself! The Reaper!” Meretrix cried.“Is that true?”Ysabell asked Elphaba quietly “How is it even?- I-I-” “Ysabell, I-can explain- I-” Elphaba began. Seeing that she was distracted, Laci waved her wand, sending a jet of light across the room. It hit Elphaba squarely in the chest.

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Elphaba span across the room and lay still in a crumpled heap.

“And now for little Susan...” Laci sneered. “Happy Birthday.”

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With lightening speed, Mort pulled his daughter behind him as Laci released her spell.“Ysabell!” he cried He didn’t notice that his wife was slowly rising into the air beside him, glowing as her power built up inside her, unable to control her own power or hear Mort’s cry.

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Stretching her hand in front of her, Ysabell began to speak in a voice very unlike her own, a voice like snapping marble.“TÔL ACHARN LACHO CALAD! DREGO MORN Á VALA MANWË !”A silver beam shot from her palm and nearly collided with Laci’s emerald one in mid air.

The emerald beam hit Mort and hid him in a cloak of sparks and stars .

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Ysabell’s beam sent Laci reeling, not that anyone noticed.

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Because all eyes were on Mort as he fell to his knees letting out a hoarse croak of pain. They feared the worst; and they were right.

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Ysabell sobbed as she watched a shadowy figure emerge through a wall.I’D HOPED WE WOULDN’T MEET LIKE THIS.“So, you are then? My-my-”YES. YOUR FATHER-TO ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES AT LEAST. I IMAGINE THIS EXPLAINS QUERIES YOU MAY HAVE HAD ABOUT YOU UNUSUAL...TALENTS.Ysabell nodded and continued to weep, her tears fell down onto Mort’s body.

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AND THIS IS YOUR..HUSBAND? MORT STO HELIT...THIS WAS NOT HIS TIME.

“Oh please! Can’t you do something?! Please father!” she sobbed. YES. I BELIEVE I CAN.

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Death produced an hourglass from...somewhere. Upon it was a plaque that read ‘MORT STO HELIT’ and all of the sand had run into the bottom half. With a flourish of his skeletal hand, Death tipped the hourglass over and Mort rose from the floor.

He was alive again.Death gave the hourglass a tap thereby balancing the sand out a little better.CONSIDER THAT TO BE FOR A LIFETIME OF MISSED BIRTHDAYS AND CHRISTMASSES.

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“You can’t do that!” Laci had almost been forgotten about. “There are rules!”YES. THERE ARE RULES. AND YOU BROKE THEM. HOW DARE YOU.“But that’s just the way life is! It’s cruel, it’s unfair. THAT’S LIFE!”

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YES. BUT I’M NOT.

Death turned to face Laci and began to glide towards her.A SOUL FOR A SOUL.“No! Nonononono!NO!”Both figures faded away into nothingness but Laci’s screams lingered long after.

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Ysabell rushed to the corner in which the mother she had never known lay curled and still.“Mum?”She breathed a sigh of relief as Elphaba stirred.

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“Urgh,” she said as she sat up. “That was one hell of a birthday party.”

“Ysabell, I’m so sorry. I-”But Ysabell had pulled her into a tight embrace before she had a chance to finish her struggling sentence.

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“Sarah Jessica Parker! Thank God that’s over eh?” Galinda breathed as Ysabell hugged Mort, Elphaba hugged Susan, Giselle hugged Edward, Farnsworth hugged Ginny and Gok hugged a rather attractive plantsim named James. “Not quite over.” said Godric angrily.

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“I cannot BELIEVE you!” he yelled.“Now Goddykins let’s not overreact... Come here-”“OVERREACT?! You tried to destroy my family. You tried to murder a child!”“But Godric I love you! I was using you to start with of course. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with you. I’m so sorry. I was in too deep. Forgive me Godric! I love you!” She fluttered her eyelashes and tried to look helpless and sorry.

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If a large percentage of the writers working in Hollywood today took control of the story at this point, Godric would forgive Meretrix, marry her and have a bunch of kids.

He doesn’t.

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“Bullshit. Just more lies. Get out of here, I never want to see you again. You were beginning to do my head in anyway.”

“Godric!” rage was definitely detectable in her voice now.“NO! Get away from me!”

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He threw her off. For a few seconds Meretrix continued with her crocodile tears but she soon gave up.“Fine” she whispered icily.

Spinning on her heel she sprinted out of the door. “Where’s she going?” Archie asked.“Who cares?” replied Godric “As long as that whore never comes near us again.”

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It was soon time for the kids to graduate. They all did so on the same day of course despite having arrived in different years...*shifty eyes*There was just enough time to teach Edward to slap dance (although it was clear that the spell wasn’t quite out of his system yet) and leave Kate as placeholder for the Greek house.

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Which meant that it was time for the results of the heir poll to be announced! Godric held up the ceremony as he was having a little difficulty with his horde of troublesome fangirls. (I hope that the fantastic simmers featured here don’t mind!)

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When he eventually made it, an excited chatter broke out although Giselle was more interested in exactly what it was that Galinda was wearing.“It’s haute couture .” Galinda sighed.“Oh...” “I like it!” chimed Gok “It makes me think of smarties...God I love smarties...”

It was customary for a simself to announce the heir, but since she had been locked outside with the rest of the fangirls, todays it was Farnsworth’s job. “Where am I?”“Is mum alright Dad?”“She’s just a little more senile these days.” replied the new elderfied Archie.“I can’t see anything!” yelled Farnsworth.

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Seeing that his wife was caught in the shadows at the back of the stage he cried “Step into the light Farnsworth!”

“Oh God! I’m dead!” she yelled. “Ah well, no matter.” she pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and walked forwards.

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“Ah yes, I remember now... Well you’re all graduated now and I’m very proud of you- although not one of you has a real qualification.”“Hey!” they cried.“I’ve got a degree in Design!” shouted Gok.“And I have one in drama!” added Galinda indignantly. The others knew better than to argue.“You have degrees in baloney!” she shouted. “Anyway, the important thing is, that Godric won the heir poll. Congratulations son.”

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A raucous applause broke out and no one was more pleased for Godric than Giselle. Godric was concerned that Galinda might have been upset but she laughed and said “Don’t be silly! I get to stay young and famous forever!”

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Not one but TWO proposals followed immediately after the ceremony. Ginny became engaged to Merlin...

And Giselle to Edward meaning that she would one day become Queen of Andalasia. (which conveniently was just an hour’s drive from Gotham although no one had heard of it until Edward turned up...)

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It was a stunning royal wedding held in Andalasia’s finest palace

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Alfarin was present to bless her goddaughter’s wedding and everyone was overjoyed for the couple.They wooped and cheered as the couple had their first kiss as man and wife...and continued to cheer as they carried on smooching..and carried on as the kiss progressed into a decidedly un-regal and gropey make out session.

“Eeewwww...” said Farnsworth as her sons giggled behind her. “I do not need to see that on my daughter’s wedding day.”“Hey,” said Archie “Stop doing that to my little girl! Eew! Come on now stop that-oh good they’re stopping!”“No, just taking a breath” laughed Alfarin.

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It was no great surprise then that Giselle was pregnant VERY soon after the wedding.

She gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl whom she named Hansel and Gretel.“HA! Two beautiful children, happy ending achieved I think.” Alfarin cheered as she performed a celebratory twirl.

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The twins quickly grew up and, even quicker, Giselle had given birth again!

This time, it was to a girl with golden hair who was named Rapunzel.

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And by the time Rapunzel had grown up there were two new babies in the family. The twin boys were named Jacob and Wilhelm*.

*after the brothers Grimm.

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Now is it just me, or does Hansel here look like a total Elijah clone? He grew up into the same outfit too!Adorable as he is, he also STINKS. Regardless of how many times he showers, he still smells. And so he was known throughout the land as ‘Prince Hansel the ever stinky’. Behind him you can see his twin Gretel and younger sister Rapunzel who are yet to be given such titles!

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The three older children’s favourite game was of course to make one sibling dress up like a dragon and chase them with sticks before ‘slaying’ them just like their Daddy the brave prince*.

*Although Giselle knew for a fact that Edward had never been able to slay so much as a flobberworm.

Here, Jacob is on the right and Wilhelm is on the left. Although Wilhelm was rather more boisterous than his quiet twin, it was clear that they were very close.

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That’s right! Yet another baby! But this is the end of the Giselle baby frenzy-for now at least. They want lots of kids and that’s what royal families did a while back isn’t it?This princeling is called Eric and, like his siblings, he‘s adored by Godric. “You really have to get down to this too Godric. The heirship comes with a mothercare membership card.”“I know, I know,” he sighed. “But it’s hard to find someone.”“It’s hard for you to find a wife?”“Well yeah actually! I haven’t found anyone that I really like. No one that I could love...and since Meretrix I’m a little paranoid if I’m honest.”

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“Well I never thought I’d have to give you dating tips! Try to be a little more adventurous. I mean you’re a rock star and you’re only going out to play your gigs and then going home again! Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have someone to share that shiny new house with soon-besides Mum and Dad I mean.”

But Godric wasn’t so sure. It didn’t help that his parents were also piling on the pressure.“There must be someone.” Archie sighed. “What about that Hannah girl. I always liked her.”“I haven’t spoken to her for years.”“Well look her up! You never know...”Godric sighed. It was worth a go.

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“-so after all this time, you’ve come to see if we can establish a marriage based on a teenage fling?”“Errr...yeah.”“And you assume that I spent all this time pining over you? That I’ve been waiting?”Godric shifted uncomfortably.Hannah sighed.“Godric, if you like it then you should have put a ring on it, before someone else did. Someone else has and I love them very much”

“Aaahhh.”“But even if I weren’t married, is this what you would have really wanted? I mean, we were what? 16? That wasn’t a real relationship. You need to find someone you love, someone better suited for you. And I’m sure you’ll have no difficulty.”

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Truthfully, Godric was relieved. Everything Hannah had said was right. But if she had said yes he wouldn’t have been faced with the daunting task of going out into the world and finding a girl to settle down with. How was he supposed to fall in love when he couldn’t put his heart into it?

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And Godric wasn’t the only one who was having romantic issues. “Oh Gok, I know it’s hard but I’m sure you’ll get over him in time .”“How?! Fernando was my rock! Oh Nando why did you leave me?!”

It had all been going so well. Galinda and Gok had spent their days relaxing in their fabulous villa, discussing Gok and Fernando’s future. Gok had hardly ever stopped talking about him and he was constantly singing to himself.“There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando!”“Ok Gok, I get it. You’re blissfully happy.”

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But when Gok had proposed-right in front of their favourite naughty time hammock, Fernando rejected him leaving Gok devastated. He couldn’t understand what he could have done wrong.

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Galinda was similarly befuddled by the situation. On numerous occasions, when she and Fernando had been alone, he had told her, with full sincerity, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Gok. Something was definitely fishy.“Hello, Fernando? It’s Galinda.”She would have to sort this out herself.

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A week later, Gok arrived home to find Galinda waiting for him in the hall wearing a glittering gown. This was not unusual, but something in her manner made him suspicious. Without a word, she lead him out into the garden.He couldn’t believe his eyes.

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“Gok, I am so sorry for treating you so badly. I was crazy...I-I think I was just scared. But I know now that it’s ok to be a little scared, because I’ll always have you. That is, if you want...”“Of course I do!”

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So Gok settled down with the man of his dreams and consequently found a new passion for his work.Can Godric be so lucky? He’ll have to sort himself out a bit but I daresay we can arrange that...Thanks for reading! I hope to see you again!