Be Curious & Generous

How to be a Successful Networker

Mrmen.com

AcknowledgementsI was asked by my colleagues at Ayogo to help them to improve their networking skills.

Curiosity is the foundation for genuine interaction and engagement. Yet my co-workers - who were tremendously curious people - worried they were inadequately equipped to network. Some felt networking was some magical, mysterious skill outside of their ability.

This deck was originally developed to reassure them that they have what it takes to confidently participate in a professional engagement or event. This slide deck was part of a Lunch and Learn event I held for my coworkers.

I would like to thank my fellow Ayogis for being the kindest, most enthusiastic, most interesting people one can work with.

Yeah, I’m a little nosy

Be Curious

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Dale Carnegie

● Ask Open Ended Questions● “Tell me more.”● Use reflective comments (paraphrase back what you’ve heard)

You have a great mindLook to Eleanor Roosevelt, not to Alice Roosevelt:

Eleanor: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Bad Gossip vs Taking the Pulse● “Not my story tell”

● Good gossip intrigues, speeds up communication and gives social status, but is not divisive, no “them”, is complimentary or pro-person

● Spread Good Rumours (“I heard Ayogo is hiring.”)

● Asking questions in small groups or individually is taking the pulse. If it’s a candid conversation, still think of how you would feel if the news landed elsewhere

● Inside knowledge is powerful, desirable and has currency

● If you are asking and intend to share the answer- be transparent

A cheat to get started: one’s name is important!1. When you are being introduced to anyone, concentrate on getting the

name right. Think of only one thing: the name.

2. If you do not hear the name clearly, say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name. Will you please repeat it?”

3. Observe their face for distinguishing features.

4. Repeat their name right away! 3 times in 2 sentences is OK. It seems over-the-top but you’ll remember it.○ So, <Name> What drew you to <this event>?

5. Compliments are OK and memorable for you both but avoid commenting on physical characteristics

Dale Carnegie’s advice is going strong 80 years later.

When “networking” gets real: Generosity● Be thankful

● Give without expectation - your time, and expertise - within limits

● But be specific: Yes, I can email you that. Yes I have 30 minutes for coffee. Yes I can introduce you to a couple of people.

● Reframe goals: Rising Tide Lifts All Boats

● Pay it forward

● Build Referent Power

Networking builds Referent PowerThere are several types of power.Formal Power (comes with position or role)● Coercive - fear & punishment● Reward - bonus & incent, promote● Legitimate - position to make demands

Personal (built by individual● Expert - knowledge● Referent - trust & charisma

What we’ve been talking about in this presentation is how to build Referent Power

Be AuthenticBeing a “Try Hard”, for fake People Pleaser is a turn off.

What are you apologizing for?

Twelve Ways to Say I’m sorry

Let your quirks show

If you say “That’s so interesting!” you better genuinely care.

Images: Paul EkmanPaul Ekman: In a fake smile, only the zygomatic major muscle, which runs from the cheekbone to the corner of the lips, moves. In a real smile, the eyebrows and the skin between the upper eyelid and the eyebrow come down very slightly. The muscle involved is the orbicularis oculi, pars lateralis.NY Times: Can regular people learn to get better at telling real expressions from fake ones?Ekman. Much to my surprise, people can learn to do this in under an hour. I have developed a CD which teaches people to do this quickly. I thought it would take a lot longer.http://www.nytimes.com/2003/08/05/health/conversation-with-paul-ekman-43-facial-muscles-that-reveal-even-most-fleeting.html

Now remember...

Read morehttps://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/what-goes-engaged-brain-emotion-mavis-dixon/edit

http://info.ayogo.com/ayogo-whitepaper-02

Thank you!

Mavis Dixonayogo.com