12. interpersonal skills

INTERPERSONAL SKILLSChapter 5, Adler5th Edition

Layout

• Building Positive Relationships– Communication climate– Giving praise

• Dealing with Criticism– Offering constructive criticism– Responding non-defensively to criticism

• Managing Conflict– Approaches to conflict– Handling conflict

• Negotiating Skills– Negotiation styles and outcomes– Which negotiation style to use

Building Positive Relationships

Communication Climate

• Quality of personal relationships in an org.– Respected, trust one another, appreciated

• Individual relationships have microclimate– Feelings about tasks and each other

• People believe they are valued– Positive climate– Messages that express feelings of value:

confirming– vs. disconfirming

Ways to promote “confirming” climate Use descriptive “I” language Focus on solving problem, not controlling

others Be honest: don’t manipulate Show concern for others Demonstrate an attitude of equality Listen with an open mind

Giving Praise (tips)

Make praise specific Praise progress, not just perfection Praise intermittently Relay praise Praise sincerely

Dealing with Criticism

Offering Constructive Criticism• Consider the content

– Limit c. to one topic– Make sure c. is accurate– Define the problem

clearly– Show how your c. can

benefit recipient

• Consider the sender– Choose most credible

critic– Make sure criticism is

appropriate to critic’s role

• Consider the context– Deliver remarks as part

of a positive relationship

– Accept partial responsibility of problem

– Accompany your c. with an offer to help

• Consider the delivery– Deliver c. in a face-

saving manner– Avoid sounding

judgmental

Responding non-defensively to C.• Seek more information

– Ask for examples or clarification– Guess about details of the c.– Paraphrase the critic– Ask what the critic wants

• Agree with the criticism– Agree with the facts– Agree with the critic’s perception

Managing Conflict

Benefits

Ventilate frustrations Solve troublesome problems Promote group loyalty and cohesiveness Make progress towards mutual goal Draw people closer

Approaches to conflict

• Avoiding– Physical or psychological

• Accommodating– Giving up your original position

• Competing– Bargaining approach, power-based approach

• Collaborating– Working together to resolve conflict, assuming

possible• Compromising

– Each party sacrifices something.. Middle-range

Handling Conflict Assertively• Prepare:

– Identify the goal you are seeking– Choose the best time to speak– Rehearse the statement

• Deliver:– Pinpoint the specific behavior– Explain your reaction – interpretation, feelings– Make a request– Describe the consequences – tangible,

intangible

Negotiating Skills

Approaches

Bargaining assumption that only one side can reach its

goals Done out of self-defense or conflict Info about other party is most powerful asset

Lose-Lose Compromise

When disputed resources are limited or scarce Win-Win

Steps: identify needs, brainstorm, evaluate alternatives, implement, follow-up

Which Style to Use

Win-Win or Bargaining? Cooperation vs. competition Power vs. trust Distorted vs. open communication Self-centered vs. mutual concern