How to win friends & influence people review

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

A LESSON IN COMMUNICATION

BookLeverageBlog.com

LEVERAGE:

“the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability than for any under the sun.”

-John D. Rockefeller

Part One -Fundamental Techniques in

Handling People

Section 1

• “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”

Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

Take-Away: Today’s enemy can be tomorrow’s ally; treat accordingly

Section 2

• “The Big Secret of Dealing with People”

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Take-Away: They might not remember everything, but they will remember how you made them feel

Section 3

• “He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way”

Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Take-Away: Help others get what they want and you will get what you want

Part Two – Six Ways to Make People Like You

Section 1

• “Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere”

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.

Take-Away: You are only as interesting as the interest you show in others

Section 2

• “A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression”

Principle 2: Smile.

Take-Away: You are only as happy as you want to be. Show others how happy you are

Section 3

• “If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble”

Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Take-Away: How did you feel the last time someone remembered your name unexpectedly

Section 4

• “An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist”

Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Take-Away: Everybody has something to say, be different and be the person that listens

Section 5

• “How to Interest People”

Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Take-Away: You may not be an expert in their field of interest, but you can always be interested

Section 6

• “How to Make People Like You Instantly”

Principle 6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Take-Away: You know who you are; find out about the other person and take the time to find out who they are

Part Three – How to Win People to Your Way of

Thinking

Section 1

• “You Can’t Win an Argument”

Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Take-Away: “Winning” an argument does not make you a winner

Section 2

• “A Sure Way of Making Enemies – And How to Avoid It”

Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

Take-Away: People’s opinions are like their children so treat them accordingly

Section 3

• “If You’re Wrong, Admit It”

Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Take-Away: Don’t hide from your mistakes, they will find you

Section 4

• “A Drop of Honey”

Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.

Take-Away: Regardless of where you are going, set the mood in a positive way to start

Section 5

• “The Secret of Socrates”

Principle 5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

Take-Away: A path of yesses will always lead to success

Section 6

• “The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints”

Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Take-Away: We have one mouth and two ears

Section 7

• “How to Get Cooperation”

Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Take-Away: Do you want the credit or to get things done

Section 8

• “A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You”

Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Take-Away: Forget walking a mile in their shoes, just imagine for a second how things might look to the person across from you

Section 9

• “What Everybody Wants”

Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

Take-Away: Remember when someone mistreated your ideas and desires…how did that feel

Section 10

• “An Appeal That Everybody Likes”

Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.

Take-Away: We all know what fair play is

Section 11

• “The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You Do It?”

Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas.

Take-Away: We all love a good story…do you tell good stories

Section 12

• “When Nothing Else Works, Try This”

Principle 12: Throw down a challenge.

Take-Away: What did you do the last time somebody told you it couldn’t be done

Part Four – Be a Leader: How to Change

People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Section 1

• “If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin”

Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Take-Away: Giving thanks always sets the right tone

Section 2

• “How to Criticize – And Not Be Hated for It”

Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Take-Away: People know when they have erred, how you respond to it is the teachable moment

Section 3

• “Talk About Your Own Mistakes First”

Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Take-Away: Making yourself human in another person’s eyes only adds to your powers of persuasion

Section 4

• “No One Likes to Take Orders”

Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Take-Away: The Socratic Method has many uses (and many benefits)

Section 5

• “Let the Other Person Save Face”

Principle 5: Let the other person save face.

Take-Away: Letting a person keep their dignity is a great gift that we should always be looking to give

Section 6

• “How to Spur People On to Success”

Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

Take-Away: Positive feedback leads to positive results

Section 7

• “Give a Dog a Good Name”

Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Take-Away: People will meet the expectations we set for them

Section 8

• “Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct”

Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

Take-Away: The mindset you instill in another will determine what they accomplish

Section 9

• “Making People Glad to Do What You Want”

Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Take-Away: Show others what is in it for them and you will leave a trail of satisfied people