5 Cai de a Raspunde Criticii

7/28/2019 5 Cai de a Raspunde Criticii

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/5-cai-de-a-raspunde-criticii 1/3

5 Ways to Respond to a Critic without being

Controlled

Written by E. Coye Still, III

After I preached one Sunday evening on a difficult Bible doctrine, a man commented to me, "Most people

here tonight are more confused now than they were when you started." A concerned woman dropped a jewel

on my wife: "If Coye had visited that family sooner, they probably wouldn't have left the church."

Criticism is inevitable. How we respond to it makes a huge difference. A seasoned pastor wisely observed: "If

your critics control you, you're defeated." How might they control you?

Do they agitate you to

anger?

Paralyze you with

paranoia?

Intimidate you into

inactivity?

Dunk you in

despair?

Here are five ways to respond to a critic with out letting them control you:

1. Respond in your time, not the critic's (Prov. 19:11)

A Christian businessman prudently applied James 1:19. At the beginning of every meeting he wrote these

initials at the top of his notepad:

"QTL" (quick to listen), "STS" (slow to speak), "STA" (slow to anger).

Tools for an Essential Church - Church Manual

How can we apply QTL, STS, STA to fielding criticism?

Does the critic run your response clock? He shouldn't. It is almost always your prerogative to choose

not to respond definitively in a given exchange.

Maintain composure. You display wisdom in holding your tongue. "It is to a man's honor to avoid strife,

but every fool is quick to quarrel" (Proverbs 20:3, NIV).

You may buy yourself important time by saying, "I'd like you to clarify for me your concern, and then I

want to put some thought into it."

Way: Biblical Solutions for Life http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/rd_article_content/0,2815,A%253D

3 30.04.20



Don't obligate yourself to respond at a later time unless you think its imperative to do so. You may not

need to respond at all.

Let the decision be yours to respond on the spot, later, or not at all. Don't hand the wheel to the critic.

2. Respond positively (Prov. 15:1)

Affirm the critic's valid concerns (usually some valid concern exists) and state positively your own concerns.

It's not necessary to validate the criticism itself. Here are two responses, one mine and one from my wife:

A woman once criticized me for being "too direct" in witnessing to her husband in the ICU. She said it

increased his stress and made him less open to the Lord. I acknowledged her concern for her husband's

well-being and suggested that we pray together for the Lord to lead both of us in our witnessing to him.

I prayed for the man's salvation and for both his wife and me to be wise, courageous, and sensitive in

sharing the gospel.

When my wife heard the criticism from others of how I had handled a family departing from our

church, she wisely chose to respond as follows: "Coye and I hurt with you over their leaving. In fact,

Coye has been in touch with them a few times in recent weeks. It might be helpful for you to talk to

him directly." My wife's response ended the exchange with the critic.

To speak positively is not to shrink back from confrontation or the need to rebuke the critic.

3. Take it to the Lord (1 Peter 5:7)

Anxiety often follows quickly on heels of criticism. An effective means of "taking it to the Lord" is to ponder

the promises of the Bible to the believer.

In regard to criticism, ponder particularly the promises of Psalm 46:10; Isaiah 41:10; John 16:33; and

Romans 8:31-39.

Are your critics maliciously lying about you? Make Psalm 62 your close companion, a prayer daily

upon your lips.

Do you fear forced resignation? Remember that "To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the

Lord comes the reply of the tongue" (Proverbs 16:1, NIV).

Critics are not in control of your tenure."The Lord knows those who are his" (2 Timothy 2:19, NIV). If

dismissal does take place, how does God intend to glorify Himself through you?

4. Consider it with wise counselors (Prov. 19:25)

Sometimes a criticism contains a needed rebuke. We prove ourselves discerning, prudent, and wise when we

learn and grow from it. "Rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser

still" (Proverbs 9:8-9, NIV).

Counselors, such as respected colleagues, trusted friends, a discerning spouse, godly parents, will help us

know when and how to respond to criticism (Prov. 15:22). When sharing with our trusted counselors we

should:

Describe the situation and ask what else they need to know to understand it

1.

Ask what we should learn from the criticism

2.

Way: Biblical Solutions for Life http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/rd_article_content/0,2815,A%253D

3 30.04.20



Documents

5 Cai de a Raspunde Criticii