Effective Listening

Key Elements of Good Listening

LISTENING IS VOLUNTARY

Hear the MessageInterpret the MessageEvaluate the MessageRespond to the Message

Step 1: Hear the Message

We choose to listen because The message is important We are interested We feel like listening We listened to this kind of information in the

past We like/respect the person speaking.

Even when we choose to listen, these factors can impede our listening Anger Frustration Grief Hostility

OFTEN WE TEND TO HEAR WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR AND FILTER OUT THAT WHICH IS NOT CONSISTENT WITH OUR OWN FEELINGS AND ATTITUDES!

Three keys to hearing the message

Care about the messagePay attentionSelect what is important

Step 2: Interpreting the Message

Filters Both listeners and speakers have filters, which

help or hinder the interpreting process. These filters are in our brains’ data base and

they attach personal meaning to information as it is presented

Examples of filters Memories, perceptions, biases, attitudes,

expectations, attention span, past experiences, values, knowledge, intelligence, feelings, age, needs, motives, emotions

Tone of Voice

Monotones Insistent Pleading Whining Demanding Questioning High-pitched Angry Emotional Condemning Accusing Argumenative

Nonverbal Communication/Body Language

Messages sent by such things as a speaker’s gestures, facial expressions, body movements, eyes, and posture

Three Keys to Interpreting the Message

Understand the filtersUse all five channels—ears, eyes, heart,

mind, and intuitionAsk for clarification

Step 4: Evaluate the Message

“Good listeners make sure they have all the key information before forming an opinion. They do not jump to conclusions based on a bias or incomplete information. They may agree or disagree with the speaker. Good listening does not mean automatic compliance. A good listener will weigh and analyze all of the evidence before reaching a final decisions or making a written or verbal judgment.” (Bone, 1994)

Three Keys to Evaluating the Message

Ask questionsAnalyze the evidenceDon’t jump to conclusions

Step 5: Respond to the Message

Even though responding to the message is a speaking role, rather than a listening role, this step is imperative to effective communication.

The listener has a responsibility to let the speaker know by either verbal or nonverbal feedback whether they clearly understood the message from the speaker.

The listener must convey to the speaker that …

The message was heard.The message was understood.The message was evaluated

appropriately.

Three keys to responding to the message

Reach a common understanding.Give feedback verbally or nonverbally.Avoid confusing messages.

Article Questions

Name at least three benefits of effective listening.

According to the article, what does it take to be an effective listener?

Why is it important to respond both verbally and nonverbally?

List your favorite five suggestions to becoming a better listener.

Attentive listening is a ____skill that people respect and welcome.