a story written by all the

children at our showand the

Captain Skellington’s Big Fat Farts

This storybook was written by:

EuanEmily

CharlotteJamieFraserMarti

AinaraIreneLauraPietroIrene

JoStephanieCorraCeliaRoisin

CameronAllastairBrandonBrookeMollyYaeEmani

AlexanderMillie

PhilippeAlexander

AlbaLuciaHugoTobyArthurRebeccaRhon

HAWAII

THE UNICORN

THE RUSTY PIG(WRECKED)

BRAZILBRAZIL

Captain Cameron and her very annoying pet toucan, Philip, were looking for land from the deck of the famous ship, The Unicorn. The rest of the crew were sweeping water from the deck as they were in a thunderstorm and it was pouring with rain.

“Another dark and rainy day,” said Captain Cameron. She could see storm clouds, and rain clouds, and her pet toucan fl apping wildly trying to fl y. “Can I go back on your shoulder please, Captain?” puff ed Philip the toucan.

“Of course, Philip, you mustn’t tire yourself out. We have a long journey ahead of us to Brazil!”

“Ooh! Is Brazil a beautiful sunny place with lots of pretty girl toucans?” asked Philip excitedly.

“Yes Philip,” said Captain Cameron, “with some cliff s for you to fl y over, and some seagulls for you to play with.”

Map

HAWAII

THE UNICORN

THE RUSTY PIG(WRECKED)

BRAZIL

HAWAII

THE UNICORN

THE RUSTY PIG(WRECKED)

Wordsearch

aye me heartybig stones

bottom of the shipbow and arrow

BrazilCameron’s sock

catfishcliffsfart

giant octopus

golden sandgold sword

green whalegun

Hawaii i am stupidLamborghinipalm trees

piratesrainy day

Sam the fat dolphinseagulls

sharkshark of the moon

shipsskellingtonsthe rusty pig

treasure chestunicorn

very annoying toucan

This story was written from all your suggestions at the show. Can you find them all in this wordsearch too?

Philip looked at the stormy sky which was getting worse. “Captain, are you sure we’re heading the right way? There are so many storms around and it’s such a windy day that it aff ects my wings, so it makes me wonder whether we might get lost!”

Just as he said this, a huge gust of wind blew Philip sideways and he had to fl ap wildly in the air before fi nding her shoulder again. The storm was getting even worse and Captain Cameron decided to steer the ship to the nearest land.

As soon as the Unicorn landed at the shore, the storm suddenly disappeared and the sun began to shine. The Captain and Philip saw a sign that said Hawaii. “There was a big storm everywhere when you looked through your telescope,” said Philip, “so it’s strange that it’s so sunny here in Hawaii.”

Captain Cameron looked around to make sure no one could hear. “This could be a good place to bury my treasure chest that’s at the bottom of my ship. It’s the gold sword I stole from Sam the fat dolphin. You mustn’t tell anyone, Philip. If anyone asks about treasure, what do you say?”

Philip puff ed up his chest and blabbed: “a gold sword is in the treasure chest that’s at the bottom of the ship!” He looked at the Captain who looked annoyed with him. “Oops! I am stupid!” said Philip.

“You have to guard the treasure while I go and look for a special place to bury it. Maybe in some golden sand next to palm trees. Stay on the ship!” said the Captain and she left the Unicorn.

“Now I won’t get to meet any pretty girl toucans,” said Philip sadly.

How does the sea say goodbye?It doesn’t, it just waves

Colour in the pirate ship

Why are pirates so evil?They just aaaarrrggh!

Elsewhere in Hawaii a giant octopus was chasing children. He put his big suckers on them and then blew big fart noises in their faces! “Aye me hearty!” yelled Captain Fart at the octopus. He was the leader of the skellington pirates and he was after treasure.

“I want the gold sword, because then I can keep all of the gold for me! Someone stole it from Sam the fat dolphin and I’m going to steal it from them!”

Captain Fart knew the gold sword was on a ship so he had conjured up the huge storm. It was all over the world except Hawaii as he had made a fartsfi eld to keep it away. “Maybe the sword is on that ship that just landed?” said the giant octopus and they both farted their way towards the ship.

Under the sea, two blue whales, Jeremy and Frank, were talking to each other about the weather. “I’ve just swum all the way from Brazil,” said Jeremy, “and there are storms all over the world.”

“Yes, they’re everywhere,” said Frank, “except for Hawaii! Maybe we should go there for our holiday?”

“But how will we fi nd each other in the storms? Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m looking at the sea or the sky or you because everything is blue,” said Jeremy. Frank replied “Let’s paint ourselves green then we can see each other!”

So two green whales got ready for their Hawaiian holiday.

They packed catfi sh to eat and their snorkelling equipment, which was a snorkel with a glass of water on top so they could go on land.

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in a freezer?Shiver me timbers!

Captain Fart and the giant octopus had reached the Unicorn. Philip the toucan didn’t notice because he was sad that he hadn’t met any girl toucans. The Captain and the octopus disguised themselves as big stones and tried to sneak up to capture him, but when they made a noise Philip turned around. “Those big stones smell a bit funny,” he said, and he fl ew over to look. “It’s a bit ticklish for a stone,” said Philip as he tickled the stone’s tummy.

The stone laughed out loud. Captain Fart couldn’t help himself as all skellington pirates were ticklish! Suddenly the giant octopus grabbed Philip with all his long tentacles.

“Where is the gold sword?” shouted Captain Fart. Philip was about to tell them but then he remembered he wasn’t supposed to. Captain Fart put his bony fi nger in Philip’s ear and it came out the other side. He wiggled it in and out, in and out and then pop! Out it came and Philip was very confused.

The giant octopus slithered up to Philip and pretended to be a beautiful girl toucan. He said “If you tell me where the sword is I’ll give you a kiss!”

“The gold sword is in a treasure chest which we haven’t buried yet,” said Philip excitedly. “Ha!” said the giant octopus, “I fooled you!” and Philip looked very sad as they carried him to the bottom of the ship.

Jeremy and Frank swum under the blue sea and got ready. Captain Cameron ran down the spiral stairs to the bottom and when she shouted “Bash the boat!” the whales bashed, smashed and crashed into the Unicorn.

The Unicorn rocked from side to side and Captain Fart and the giant octopus were thrown around. Captain Cameron burst in while they were distracted and said “there’s one thing smellier than your farts!” It was Captain Cameron’s socks, the smelliest thing in the world, and she threw one at them!

Captain Cameron ran back to the Unicorn. She had seen the pirate and octopus climb on board, and she knew they must have Philip and the treasure! But she was scared as even though she had a pirate gun it didn’t work on skellingtons.

Just then she saw the two green whales, Jeremy and Frank, sunbathing on the beach. “Would you please help me?” she asked. “The skellingtons are at the bottom of my ship with my pet and my treasure. Would you two bash the boat about a bit?”

Why do pirates take

so long to learn

the alphabet?

They get stuck at C?

The Captain had to quickly cover his nose and he let go

of the gold sword. It fl ew into the air and as they all tried to

catch it, Philip realised this was his chance to be brave.

He fl apped up to the ceiling and grabbed the gold sword

in his beak.

The two captains chased after him and Philip saw a window. He fl apped as hard as he could and for the fi rst time ever his wings stretched out and he fl ew! The giant octopus grabbed four bows and arrows with all his tentacles and fi red at him but he missed.

Philip escaped through the window and out over the stormy sea. He heard a cry and saw it was the shark of the moon, a shark with a fi n like a crescent moon. “The sword needs to be returned to the ocean, Philip,” said the shark. “It belongs to all the sea creatures of the world. With it the weather will be good again and we can stop Captain Fart.”

Philip knew the shark was right. Although Captain Cameron was his friend, she had stolen the sword from Sam the fat dolphin and that was wrong. Philip also remembered that the sword was gold because it was made of sunshine.

So Philip fl ew down into the sea and followed the shark to a sunken ship called The Rusty Pig. The shark of the moon said “thank you Philip for doing the right thing,” and pushed the sword deep into a large sun-shaped rock on the ship until it was stuck forever. The rays of the sun came bursting out of the rock, and all the stormy weather around the world disappeared! The sun shone down on the whole world as well as the golden sand of Hawaii.

Philip fl ew out of the sea and saw Captain Cameron standing on the beach. He bravely told the Captain that it was right to give the sword back to the sea creatures rather than steal it and the Captain agreed.

What do you call a shaking ship at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck?

Captain Fart said he would share his favourite thing, his Lamborghini sports car. Everyone climbed in, except the giant octopus who didn’t have enough room for all his legs so they gave him lots of yellow roller-skates and he skated alongside.

They were all now great friends and had fun driving around in the beautiful sunshine. But the one who had the most fun was Philip! Sometimes he fl ew over the cliff s, sometimes he played with the seagulls, and sometimes he got to meet lots of pretty girl toucans as they all waved at him in the car.

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© The You & Me Theatre Company 2013 TSS004/070813

Thank you for writing this story with

Matt AndrewsJustin Brett

Charlie DinkinJonah Fazel

Vicki PipeMykal Shaw

and guest starring Maeve Malley-Ryan

By the