If I Marry at 18, When Will We Have a Baby by PureKyeSang

8/3/2019 If I Marry at 18, When Will We Have a Baby by PureKyeSang

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If I marry at 18, when will we have a baby?18?

Translated by hErShEykIsSeD & EM1LYOriginally by PureKyeSang ()

[1]

"WAHH!! I WON'T DO IT! I'LL RUIN IT!"

"Yoon Ah Yung! When will you ever learn? Until when are you going to keep crying like this?!"

"Yeah, listen to Mom for once."

In my hair are funky decorations,and on a pure face, my face, that has never used make up, ever, there are layers, no, big, fat cakesof make up all over it.

HOW CAN THEY TELL ME NOT TO CRY?!

"Aish, stay still. Your make up will get ruined!"

At a young, fresh age of 18,how can I marry a stupid old husband? HOW?

"NO! I don't wanna do it.. I won't. I WON'T! Do Ahn is waiting for me... He's waiting for me.. I have togo! I'm never gonna marry an old guy like him! NEVER!"

"What do you mean. an OLD GUY? People will think you're marrying some old BALD guy once theyhear you complaining about him like you are!"

"He's a WHOLE YEAR OLDER THAN ME! WAHH-"

"You seem like such a little kid, even in MY eyes. When will you ever learn?!"

Next to me is one friend who is making me even more stressed out by the minute, and a GREATmother who won't leave me alone because I never listen to her...

Why can't you just LEAVE ME ALONE?

This isn't even a marriage between businesses like other people.

While my mother was out one day, she went head over heels for the guy she is now making me

marry.

WHAT KIND OF STUBBORNESS IS THIS?!

"MOM! YOU'RE A BABO! A REAL BABO! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN THEGUY, EVER!"

"What do you mean, you never saw him? Don't you know my friend's son? We always used to goplaces together!"

"Aish. I don't know! Anyways, I'm not going to go through with this. Just break it off! This is purelyYOUR stubborness, mom! And even EATING is all YOUR way of thinking and YOUR stubborness..."


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"Little lady. Stop acting like a little kid! Whenever I go anywhere, everyone asks me if I'm your bigsister! Do you know how embarassing that is?"

"SO!"

"It means that I look OLD!"

"Stop getting all mad at me! I didn't even DO anything!"

No matter how much I whined, I guess there are things that you can do, and you can't in this world.In the end, wearing a weird lace dress, I stood in front of the minister's little podium.And, next to me, a silent guy.

The person who was going to be my HUSBAND. Aish... I think I'm gonna cry again!

I have to go to Do Ahn...I promised him a 'bbahm bbahm bbahrah' wedding later on...

And so I just stared and stood in front of the minister.I've felt this at my uncle's wedding also, but I notice again that wedding minister people talk a lot.

And I still want to see what my husband's face looks like.I tried to look, but everyone was looking at us, so I couldn't.

At that moment, all of a sudden, he looked at me.I watched a lot of dramas to know this, but during these kinds of situations, they'd always glare andcuss or say something bad...I was scared. I shouldn't have watched so many dramas.I should've just slept when mom got her broom and yelled at me to get to bed.

I got scared for no reason, scared what words would come out of that guy's red lips suddenly.

"Miss. Don't look at me. Just look up front, at the minister."

And then he.... WINKED?What the...Damn. Ewww.

When MY Do Ahn winks, he's cute.This guy, he makes me wanna scream.

Do Ahn is so cute...This guy, this guy called my husband looks weirdly handsome.

To stop myself from yawning, I took a look at his face.Now I didn't care about how everyone else was looking at us.I just started observing him because he was right in front of me.


3/172

This guy's eyes are black. And clear.

Yeah. I should refer to them as the night sky.

A dark, black night, with bright starts shining in some places.

His face seems white, but has a hint of a brownish tan.

Whenever he gently shook his head, the way his hair moved and mussed up slightly caught my

eye...

Hmmm... Forget it when I said he made me wanna scream.

But... He ain't cute. I like cute guys!!

Thinking and arguing with myself in my head like that, and two hours passed..I got into a weird car, and we're going somewhere...

"Where are we going? Can you take me home? My Do Ahn said he would be waiting for me. Takeme home. I have to go."

"Miss, if you keep doing that, youre going to get in trouble."

"Stop 'Miss'-ing me! Stop treating me like a little kid! That's the one thing I hate most!"

Aish. Why is everyone treating me like a little kid?Even HE is.

"We're going to the house we'll be living in together, so please be quiet. You're bothering the driver.Okay?"

"I told you, stop treating me like a little kid!!"

Glancing at me, almost about to cry, he grinned.

And WHY does he keep touching my hair while he's grinning?

Isn't he some kind of pervert?!

"Hubby."

"Hubby..?"

"Since we're married, you're my hubby. Yoo Ahn said that when we marry, you're my hubby. Theguy is the hubby."

"Huh? Oh. Okay."


4/172

"Hey Hubby."

"Yes, Miss?"

"Hubby, are you a pervert?"

I just said it for no reason. Why is his face so red all of a sudden?

Whenever I voice out my mind, people always do this.

Their faces get red and they leave.

"You keep touching my hair. Hubby, are you a pervert?"

"Hah. You're a lot younger than I thought."

"Why does everyone have the same reaction whenever I say something? Did I do something wrong?

Is that why?"

"Miss, you know you're acting just like a little five year-old kid."

"Me? Why? How?"

"Hah. You're cute. Very cute."

My husband kept repeating that I was cute, over and over again.What the HECK is cute about me?Not relieving my curiosity, the car stopped in front of a house.

[2]

"OOH! WHOA!! HEY, HUBBY! THIS HOUSE IS HECKA BIG! DOES THE PRESIDENT LIVE HERE?!"

"Haha. Nope. This is were you and I will be living. Follow me, I'll show you your room."

Holding Hubby's hand tight, I followed him up the stairs.He stopped in front of a pale sky blue door.It seems like only this room was painted all sky blue on purpose.

"Hubby, you like sky blue?"

"No. They said you liked it."

"How'd you know?"

"I've researched it on my own. I went into your room when you were sleeping."

"Huh? But how'd you know?"

"Your whole room was sky blue."

"Wow. Hubby, you're real smart. Seems like you know everything?"


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As if suprised, he opened his wide and looked at me.Then he smiled.

Cute.

Hubby's cute when he smiles.

Hubby. My Hubby's so cute when he smiles.

"Ahhhh... Feels good. This bed is comfy."

I spread out both my arms and laid down on the bed.So comfy.

"AAAHHH!!! HUBBY!! HUBBY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

All of a sudden, Hubby was on top of me on the bed.

I think I got really scared. He's so scary.

"AAAHHH! Hubby, you're scaring me... Hubby, you're scary... Hubby is bad!"

"O-Okay. I-I won't do it again. I promise. I won't. Don't cry... I just saw you lie down.. And I don'tknow, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Staring down at me, bawling my eyes out, he looked sorry.

He pat me on the back gently.

It's still scary. Even though he's patting my back like this... I'm still scared. He's still scary.

"Haha. I feel like I married a kindergartener now."

"Don't give me that. Don't treat me like a little kid. I'm already a highschooler."

"I know. But your mind still seems like it's a little kid."

"No. I'm not a little kid! And stop talking to me like that, all polite and stuff. It seems like you'retreating me MORE like a little kid because you talk like that."

"Okay, Okay. I won't do it anymore, okay?"

"Okay."

"So how are we going to have kids if oyu keep acting like this?"

"Hubby. If you marry when you're 18, when do you have a baby?"

"Umm.. Hmmm.."

"When? When? How do you get a baby? Huh?"

"Uh... Huh?"


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He looks like he doesn't want to tell me something...Psh. Now he's treating me like I'm stupid, too? Aish.Is he making fun of me because everyone treats me like a little kid and as a stupid girl?

"..I'll tell you next time."

"No. I don't wanna know next time. Tell me now. You're treating me like I'm stupid again. I'm not alittle kid!"

"Mmm... Heaven will send us an angel to bring us our baby. When you and I fall in love... The angelwill bring our baby to us."

"Really? You're not treating me like a little kid again, right? You're not lying to me, right?"

"Nope. An angel will really come down someday..."

"Then... If I fall in love with Hubby, but the angel doesn't come bringing our baby, then that wouldmean that Hubby wouldn't love me at all, right?"

"Um, I-I guess so..."

"Aish. I don't know. My head hurts. I'm just gonna go to sleep."

Why is this so confusing.Why does everyone's stories sound so different?Mom said God brings a baby,

Yoo Ahn said you go pick up a baby under the bridge of the Han River...And now Hubby says an ANGEL will bring a baby.Aish.I don't wanna think anymore.I'm just gonna sleep it off.

"Sleep tight, little bride...."

[3]

"Mmm.. Mm, wha-what time is it? What time is it?"

When I got up, looking at the clock on my wall, the hands told me it was already 11. Getting out ofmy stuffy room, I walked into the room next to mine.A bed.

A bed that was the same sky blue and shape as my own bed.

On top of it, Hubby was sleeping.I just stood there and watched him sleep for a while, then quickly came out of the room.

I have to get out of this house.It feels like some kind of jail.

Then I can go and have my 'bbahm bbah bbahrahm' wedding with Do Ahn.

Although I couldn't see anything on this dark night, I tried my best to climb over the rock ledgewithout anyone noticing.


7/172

If I tried to get out through the front door, Hubby will probably hear me...It's better to try and climb over this ledge.

"Aish. How do you get over this thing?"

"Are you doing midnight excercises?"

"Huh? No. I'm not excercising.."

"Then what are you doing?"

He must've heard me struggling to climb over it, 'cause Hubby, with his mussed up hair and tiredeyes, grabbed me by my clothes.

"I'm running away."

"Running away?"

"Yup. I'm gonna get out of here. If I stay here, I have to be Hubby's wife. I have to marry Do Ahn

later. So I'm running away."

"Who's... Do Ahn?"

"My boyfriend. He's the best. He's so cute, too."

Hubby looks at me with a slight frown on his face.And then, he carries me and lies me down on top of the bed.Aishh. I have to get out of here.

Just leave me alone.

"No. I'm gonna go."

"No, Miss, you can't. You have to stay like this for the rest of your life. You have to live with me inthis house for the rest of your life."

"No!! I'm going to go to Do Ahn!"

"You just told me you loved me earlier."

"I said if. I have to go to Do Ahn! Just let me go!"

"No. You can't. Stay still right here. Stop whining. If you keep doing this, then I might get angry."

"Aish."

I glared at Hubby, with my lips out as far as they could go, and my eyebrows scrunched up.

"Starting today, you can't get out of this room. Not even one footstep."

"Hubby, you're angry too. You don't like me, so that's why you don't like to stay with me, becauseyou don't like me. But you're just scared that my mom will come with her broom. That's why you'redoing this. It's okay. I'll protect you from my mom. I won't let her hit you. So just please let me go toDo Ahn. Please."


8/172

"No... I like you a lot."

"But I don't like you, Hubby."

"Why? Why do you not like me? Am I ugly? Is that why?"

"No. Hubby's real handsome. Even my friend said you were handsome and she got jealous."

"Then why do you not like me?"

"I like Do Ahn better."

"Whew... But still, you can't. You have to hide here and sleep. Tomorrow, you can't run away until Icome."

"Stop being polite and not polite at the same time. It's weird. Just be not polite, like me. Hubbysounds weird when you talk like that."

"Okay, but instead, you can't run away, okay?"

"..Shi."

I'm still gonna leave.A few minutes after Hubby closes the door...

...Then, right when I gently opened the front door, someone held me back. Now who is it?!

"Look. You're gonna run away again.."

"Aish, Hubby, quit getting in my way!"

"I can't watch you leave like this. You have to stay... I have no choice. You have to sleep with me inmy room today."

"NO! Let me go!!"

Whining like a little kid, I was dragged into Hubby's room.I feel like a prisoner or something.I feel like an one of those bad men who go to jail.Hubby's not even a cop, and I'm not a bad man, so what the heck is this?No matter how much I tried to get away from his grip, Hubby's a guy, and I'm a girl.He's obviously a lot stronger than I am.

And, as a result, I lay on a bed, looking face to face with Hubby.

"Hubby, you're face looks even more prettier now that I'm looking at it from close up."

"...I know you're still gonna run away even after you say that. Today, I'm going to hold you tight andgo to sleep..."

"No, Hubby's face really is pretty."

"Okay, Miss, now just go to sleep..."

"Stop being polite again. I'm a year younger than you."


9/172

"I know. That's why I'm being polite."

"Huh? That's not right... My teacher said younger people have to be polite to older people."

"Haha. Now you really seem like a kindergartener. This isn't good... We have a lot of things to dotogether from now on."

"Eung? What? What are we gonna do?"

"I'll tell you next time... Just go to sleep today."

"See? You're doing it again. You're treating me like a little kid... Aish. Hubby's bad. I thought Hubbywas nice, but you're not even a BIT nice."

"Okay. But if I tell you now, you won't understand. So I'll tell you next time. I'm tired; let's go tosleep. You're nice, so you'll listen to Hubby, right?"

"Yup. Since I'm nice, I'll listen to you. Sweet dreams, Hubby. Hubby isn't even a LITTLE bit ugly.You're really handsome. So..."

"Okay, okay. Now go to sleep."

"So... Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Just close them."

Closing his bright eyes,only his long and skinny eyelashes were left.He's handsome. Really handsome.Since he's so handsome, I'll give him a kiss...

-MUAH

"Hubby...."

"Huh? Yeah.."

Hubby's face red like when I asked him if he was a pervert,he looked blankly at me.

Forget everything when I said he was scary and bad.

"Good night."

"Good night... And from now on, you can't kiss anyone else."

"Why? Why not?"

"Because you're your Hubby's. You can only kiss ME lots like that from now on."

"Hm. After I think about it first. I'm tired. Hubby go to sleep too."

"All right. I'll really go to sleep this time. I'll sleep, but don't run away, okay?"


10/172

"Eung. Good night. Good night, Hubby-"[4]

"Huh? It's morning already..."

When I opened my eyes to the bright morning sunlight that poured through the window. Looking atthe clock, the hands showed that it was 8. Next to me, as if no one or nothing could disturb him, lieHubby, sound asleep.

Hubby is the handsome-est when he's sleeping.And he's cute.

But he'll probably be even more handsome when he smiles.

As I looked at Hubby's face, I started to examine every part of his face once again.

On top of his grayish eyes was his hair.He has long eyelashes, and his eyes look like the night sky.His high nose, and his red lips that make me want to kiss them.

Haha. Hubby's really handsome. Real handsome.

Without even knowing I was doing it, I put my face right up in front of his. His face only a fewcentimeters away, I went closer. The sharp line of his jaw showed that he might have a meanpersonality, but Hubby is not mean.

He's nice.

3 centimeters..

2 centimeters..

1 centimeter..

-MUAH

Hehe. Let's play Give-Hubby-A-Kiss-On-The-Lips. HeeHee.I feel good today. Should I just stay like this until he wakes up?

"Gahh... Mm!"

All of a sudden, Hubby pulled his arms around my neck.Since when was he awake?

Was he awake since I started this?

I was only going to kiss him.

Tongue. Hubby's scary.I never felt this way before-I feel weird.

Hubby's tongue keeps coming into my mouth.He's scaring me...

"Ah, Aahhhhh..."


11/172

"Mi-Miss.."

"Hubby.. Hubby scary. I thought you weren't, but you are! Hubby's bad!"

"I'm sorry... Don't cry. It's my fault."

"Hubby's bad. Since when were you awake?"

"Since you first came, of course."

"Then why'd you pretend you were sleeping! Bad. Hubby's bad. I'm not gonna play with Hubbyanymore! I wanna go!"

I kept crying like that for a long time...But, as if I had no more tears to cry, I couldn't cry any more.

"It's my fault. So don't cry anymore, okay?"

"Hubby's still bad."

"Huh? Didn't YOU start it first?"

"I was just gonna kiss you like *MUAH*."

"Haha. Miss... Cute. You're cute..."

"I'm not cute! I'm not even a little bit cute!!"

"Okay. Stop crying and whining, then, okay? From now on, I won't do anything to you, okay? Sodon't cry."

"Eung. I won't cry anymore."

He gently ran his fingers through my hair.His hands are even more smooth.

"Can I hug you?"

"Huh?"

"Can I give you a hug?"

"Eung. Give me a hug."

I gently leaned my head against Hubby's chest.I can hear his heartbeat.His heart beat fast, almost too fast...

"Wow... I can hear your heart beat."

"Let's just stay like this for a while."

"Okay. I like it when Hubby hugs me."


12/172

"Haha. Okay, I'll hug you like this for the rest of our lives... Miss, Miss, Miss."

"Eung? Eung? What?"

"I love you."

"Hm. I don't think I don't like Hubby either."

"Can't you just tell me that in three words?"

"No. It's too early. I still love Do Ahn."

"Sometimes, I'd know you, but then again, I don't."

"I don't really know you either..."

"Okay, okay. Let's just stay still like this... Just for a while.."

[5]

After I sat there in Hubby's arms, the loud ringing of the doorbell announced that my friend, Han

Yoo Ahn was here.

"Ah Yung ah!! Yoon Ah Yung!! Where are you?"

Suprised at her calling for me, I pushed Hubby off of me.Aish.We could've stayed that way longer.

When I went out to the front door where I heard Yoo Ahn callling my name, I saw that she hadbrought my favorite cake.

"Come in. I want cake."

Right when I saw Yoo Ahn, I took the cake.

Hubby just stared at me as I sat down on the floor and starting eating the cake with a spoon.

"Is it good?"

"Yup. It's good."

"Ah Yung ah. You still eat cake like that? You're married! Eat like a lady for once!"

"Haha. It's okay. Just leave her alone... It's cute."

"Aigoo.. You call that girl CUTE? Hah, she always cries... Crybaby, idiot, little kid."

"No! I'm not a little kid!!!"

"Does she whine like this here too?"

"No. You don't know how good-mannered she is."

"Hubby you liar. You even said yesterday that you were going to get mad if I whined. If you lie,Santa isn't going to come. Don't lie!"


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Hubby just grinned as he wiped some of the cream from the cake off my mouth.Yoo Ahn just stared at him like she didn't understand him.

"Just call me if she cries again. I'll bring my pot and run here and hit her."

"Idiot. Yoo Ahn is an IDIOT. You said your pot was broken yesterday. Your sister was throwing atantrum, and you TOLD me she broke it-"

"Will you stop acting like a little kid?"

"Chi..."

"Just eat your stupid cake. Looks like you gained some weight these days... Before you wanted tolook good for Kang Do Ahn so you tried to lose weight like CRAZY. I guess all that hard work is goingdown the drain..."

"Aish. I have to go to Do Ahn... But Hubby won't let me. He always grabs my clothes and tells menot to go."

If I think about Do Ahn, I feel like I'm going to cry again...

I have to go to Do Ahn...What if he's crying because I'm not there..Bad Hubby.He never lets me go.

"Yoon Ah Yung. You're MARRIED. Even if you DO go to Do Ahn right now, do you REALLY think he'llaccept you again?"

"Be quiet! Do Ahn isn't a bad person like you!"

"I'm leaving, you pig. Just eat your cake. Yoo Hyun shi, if Ah Yung doesn't listen to you, just hit heron the head with a pot! Then she won't cry and she'll listen to you very well."

"Chi. Then what's with you smiling that smile to MY husband! Tsk tsk..."

"Miss, you can't be jealous now. There'll be more girls you'll be jealous of later on..."

"I wasn't jealous. I'm not jealous. Only Yoo Ahn does THAT kind of stuff."

"You were just jealous."

"Chi... No I wasn't!"

Leaving my Hubby to say that I was being jealous, which I was not, I slammed the door to my room

and jumped on the bed.And, while I lay there on my bed, Hubby says he's sorry and tells me to come out.Hm. Should I just forgive him?

"Come on, we have to go the airport soon!"

"The airport?! Where you ride airplanes?!"

"Haha, yes, where you ride airplanes."

"Why there? Where are we going?"


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"Aren't we going to go to our honeymoon?"

"Oh, oh yeah huh. We have to go to our honeymoon. I thougth we were gonna go and fly to someweird place."

"Okay, so open the door, please."

After I finally opened the door for Hubby, and we took a bag that was a little TOO big, which made it

look weird, and left for the airport.And later, we went through a big door and walked into the airplane.

"Whoa! The airplanes going to go up like WEEEEE!"

"Is it that cool?"

"Eung! I've never rode in an airplane before!"

"You're so young..."

"No!"

"You're such a little kid.."

"I'm not young! I'm not a little kid!!"

"Okay, Miss."

"And I'm not a 'Miss', either. I have a pretty name my grandpa gave me!!"

"Yoon Ah Yung, Ah Yung."

"Chi. You even knew it, and you keep calling me 'Miss'. Hubby is a bad person! An evil person!You're one of those bad people who bother Superman and Batman!!" [a/n-what she really said was

korean cartoon heroes' names, but i know some of you wouldnt understand; its the same concept,just with 'american' heroes.]

Hubby just smiles again as I whine and complain.Hubby's the most handsome when he smiles.

"Do you know what my name is?"

"Yup. Yoo Ahn said 'Yoo Hyun shi' just before."

"Whoa, you're pretty smart!"

"Hey, don't think of me as a stupid person! I'm smart, too!"

"Hubby's name is Jin Yoo Hyun. Never forget it, okay? Always remember it... Don't forget it as youalways call me Hubby, okay?"

"Okay okay. I'll remember it. Okay? So don't forget MY name."

"Okay. I'll keep Ah Yung's name in my head. All the time."


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[6]

After a while of just staring at the skiy, I thought about where we were going. Where ARE we going,anyways?

Honeymoon.My aunt and uncle went on one last time.

I couldn't just sit there to think about it all by myself, so I decided to ask Hubby.

"Where are we going?"

"Us? Puket. Why, are you curious?"

"No.. Just wondering..."

Puket...? Pu... Ket? Hm. Never heard of it.Where is that place?

"Hey Hubby? What's Puket?"

"You'll know when we get there."

"I wanna know. Tell me."

"If you just sleep here, we'll get there in no time. Just go to sleep. I'll wake you up when we arrive,okay?"

"...Don't leave me here."

"I promise-"

After pinky-swearing with Hubby's long pinky, I turned around and finally felt comfortable enough togo to sleep.

And.

How much time must've passed?Someone shook me to wake me up.

"Miss. We're here. Get up."

Hearing the words 'We're here', I rubbed my tired eyes and sat upright.Is it because it's my first time stepping on another country's ground?My legs felt weak.

"Hubby, give me a piggy-back ride."

"Eung... Get on."

"Hubby, are you tired, too? Then I'll just walk. I'm okay. I feel better now. I'll just walk."


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"Haha. It's okay. I'm not tired. Your legs are shaking... Just get on."

"No. It's 'cause this is the first time I wore high heels. If I just walk a while, I'll get used to it."

"I know you're lying 'cause you think I'm tired. Miss, you're a liar."

"I know you're tired. Stop lying. Hubby always lies everytime he talks."

"No, it's really okay. I want to give you a piggy-back ride. If you don't get on right now, I'm just

gonna leave you here..."

I get goosebumps just thinking about being left alone here in this country whose ground I've nevereven stepped on before.I handed all the suitcases we had to Hubby and got on his back.I feel so bad.

And, I start to close my eyes and I sleep, right there on Hubby's back.

"Miss. Miss, wake up. Aren't you going to eat?"

A voice that's low but a little high.The person who calls me 'Miss'.Hubby.Hubby wakes me up.

"Eung?... Are we already here?"

"Haha. You didn't see anything because you were sleeping?"

"Huh? Was I sleeping since I got on your back?"

"Your Hubby here was walking around and-"

"Aish. No fair. Only Hubby got to see everything! And I just kept sleeping in some weird place!"

"Just kidding. I was sitting here watching you until you woke up."

"Really? Were'nt you bored?"

"Eung. If I watch you, I don't get bored at all."

"Did I sleep-talk by any chance? Or snore?"

Saying that I always snored while I slept, she always hit me in the head with her lampstand.My lovely mother.And saying I always sleep-talked during winter vacations,

Yoo Ahn hit me with her pot.

They all know my sleep habits.I'm afraid I slept weird in front of Hubby.

Aishh..I can't.I can't be all weird in front of Hubby.


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"Nope. You slept like a little baby angel."

"You lie. You're lying again! Even I know that I snore and sleep-talk. You liar."

"In my eyes, everything you do seems like what an angel would do... Aren't you hungry? Let's goeat. Okay?"

I'm pretty sure I slept like some monster out of a movie.

I didn't even notice food going down my throat or if my hand was going down it instead.I just kept thinking about me sleep-talking and walked into the room.

Of course, I didn't even know what it tasted like, or where we ate, or WHAT we ate.

"Was it good?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. It was good."

Hrm. I just lied. I didn't even know what it tasted like.But Hubby just keeps looking at me, smiling.

I can't figure out why he's so happy.Stupid Hubby.Idiot.He seems like a mental person.

"Hubby."

"Yeah? Why you calling me?"

"Hubby are you an idiot? Or are you a mental person?"

"What are you talking about? Haha."

"See, look. You just laughed again. Hubby you always laugh and smile like you're mental orsomething. You never whine or get angry like me. Wait, no, escept for the time I talked about DoAhn."

"If I just look at you, I feel like laughing. And smiling. That's why. But, when I see you thinking aboutsome other guy or talking about him, I don't feel like laughing. That's why I don't. So you're notcurious anymore, right? I'm not an idiot any more, right?"

"Eung. Hubby's not an idiot anymore."

And yet he smiles. Again.Whenever I talk, he smiles.Or laughs.

"Aish. You laughed again. I'm going outside."

"You don't like me laughing?"

"No. I don't not like you laughing, but you seem like an idiot, just laughing like that all the time."

"Then I won't laugh. Stay with me. Don't go outside."


18/172

"It's frustrating. I want to go outside. Let me go."

"No, you can't. You'll get lost. It's already dark outside. You can't see anything. Don't go."

"If you don't let me go, I'll cry. I'm gonna cry 'Wahhh'. You don't like it when I cry. I wanna gooutside. I have a sense of direction. I'm really good at finding roads."

"Then just play around this building. Don't go anywhere else. Then you can't find the way back,okay? This is room 305, do don't lose your way inside the hotel, okay?"

"Eung. Bye, Hubby!!!"

Heehee. Yay. He let me go outside.I hate it when it's so frustrating and closed in.I like it better where there's fresh air...

"Huh? Uh... I can't see anything..."

I went outside the building, and was surrounded in darkness.I couldn't see a thing.

There were only dark buildings that looked all the same.I didn't see any neon signs or city lights that I would see back in Seoul...

"Aish. Whatever. I'm just gonna go!!"

I tried to go find any bright-lighted street.But wherever I went, it seemed as if everythign got darker and darker...

It seems like a big black hole in cartoons..

This is strange. I can't see anything. There's nothing here.

No people, dogs, or trees...Where am I?

And why did Hubby come to this weird hotel!!

The weather just kept getting colder and colder, and although there are some peopl walkingaround, they don't talk at all.

The farther I went, the less the people or the trees..There was no one or nothing.

What is this? I have a good sense of direction.I'm not like stupid Yoo Ahn, who can't find her way anywhere..

Then why? Why do I have to sit here on the ground, with no one around me...?

"Ahhhh... Take me home! Take me to my home!!!!!"

No matter how much I cried, it seemed as if no one was there.No matter how much I banged and hit the walls that surrounded me in this weird place, no one paidattention...


19/172

It's too quiet.It's too dark.I can't hear anything...

I didn't get lost! No! I'm not lost!Because I'm not a little kid.I'm not a little kid who gets lost and sits on the ground...

It's because my legs hurt.I'm just resting; that's why I'm sitting here...I... didn't get lost.

No matter how much I tried to walk by myself, or find the way back, the stillness and darkness keptgetting to me.Dammit. What is this?What am I doing?

This is all Hubby's fault.If I didn't marry Hubby, then I wouldn't have to come to this honeymoon, and if I didn't come to thishoneymoon, I wouldn't be here, scared, right now.

Bad Hubby...He's really bad....

And I keep getting colder.

"Hu-Hubby... Come... Come and save me.."

My hands just kept getting colder and colder so I could barely move, and Hubby's face kept comingin and out of my mind.

The Hubby that said he can't help but laugh when he looks at me...

The Hubby that just kept laughing and smiling ever since we got married. Except one time.

He always came to look for me whenever I cried like this.Whenever I cry or whine like a little kid, Hubby would always come and take me home again...But not now.No matter how much I cried, he still didn't come...

"Hub-Hubby... I'm scared. Come and save me.. Then I won't cry anymore. And I won't whine aboutthings that don't even make sense... I'll do everything you tell me to do, and I won't say that I'mgoing to run away ever again. I'll stay by Hubby's side the rest of my life, so please just come takeme home..."

"What you just said... You're not lying, right?"

A familiar voice.Is this a dream?Or is he really right here in front of me?

And, right then, with a 'click', a flashlight turned on.And behind the light, Hubby's face.

The face I wanted to see so badly...

"Wahhh.. I-I missed you, Hubby. I missed you so much, I thought I was gonna go crazy.."


20/172

"I told you not to go around by yourself... You should've stayed by me."

"I'm scared. I'm scared... Where are we?"

"Dumb. That's what I wanted to say... Get on my back. I almost got cramps in my legs looking foryou."

I feel warm.It's cold, but I feel so warm...

Tears keep threatening to fall...When Hubby holds my hand tight, I want to cry...Not the kind of tears I cried when I whined about something.

There's not even a sound.It just comes out...

For no reason, the tears fall and wet Hubby's shoulder.

"Now stay by my side always. If I lose you... I'm gonna go crazy."

[7]

"Eung. I'll always stay by Hubby's side... I won't say I'm gonna go to Do Ahn anymore. Ah Yung likesHubby much much more that Do Ahn now.."

"Heh. That's a relief... I was worried. I was worried that you might like some other guy, and not thisHubby of yours."

"Nope. Not anymore. I like Hubby the most, no, the BEST in the whole wide world. Hubby. Ah Yungloves Hubby. I love you..."

I can't see his face because I'm on his back, but I think he feels uncomfortable again, seeing his redears.Aish, Yoo Ah Yung, you idiot.What'd you tell him for?

You shouldn't have told him...

"I... I love you too, Ah Yung. I love you... A lot."

"Eung."

"Haha. You don't know how to hide your true feelings... It'll be a real problem. Huh? Miss? Are you...crying?"

"No... I'm not crying."

"Are you crying because I said that you can't hide your feelings? You think I'm making fun of you?"

"No. I'm not crying..."

"Then why are my clothes so wet... You're crying."

"That's all... That's just saliva."


21/172

"Okay. I'll just call it saliva, too, then."

Hubby grins slightly while looking back at me.

Hubby...Do you know that I like Hubby a lot?A lot a lot?

Do you know that I like you so much...That I love you?

No. You wouldn't know.Hubby's just a stupid person who laughs and smiles all the time, for no reason.

But...From now on, you'll have to know.I'm going to tell you that I love you everday.Hubby can't just think it's a joke and laugh it off...

You have to know.If you do, then Hubby really isn't an idiot anymore.

You have to remember...

Yoon Ah Yung will only love her hubby Jin Yoo Hyun.

From this moment forward.START.

"Ahh.. We're at the hotel."

Hubby smiles a lot brighter than before.It should be hard walking these streets you can't walk straight on, and with me on his back..

I can see sweat all over the back of his neck, but he doesn't show that he's tired at all.He just keeps smiling.

"Hubby.."

"Eung?"

"When you're tired, or worn out... Wrinkle up your face like me. When you try to smile when insideyou're really tired, that's even harder on your face. It's uglier, did you know that?"

"Haha. It's okay. I'm not trying to smile. Whenever I look at you, I can't help but smile. No matterhow worn out or tired I am, I can't help it."

No matter how many times I ask him, Hubby keeps saying he's okay.Now it seems like I did something bad.

"Miss. Let's go tomorrow."

"Huh? Go where?"

"Home."

"Already?"


22/172

"I'm too worried that you might get lost again, wandering around by yourself like that. We canalways go on trips anytime. Let's just come back some other time."

"We're gonna leave because of me, huh? I made Hubby feel worn out and tired again... Right?"

"No. Really, no. I'm tired, too."

-MUAHI gave a kiss to Hubby and turned around and fell asleep.

Heehee. I saw that.I saw Hubby's face turn red.

Hubby.. Sweet dreams. And don't dream about me.I don't wanna bother Hubby and make you tired and worn out in your dreams, too. So never dreamabout me.Pinky swear...Instead, Hubby, dream about the most happiest thing in the world.

Then I'll try to dream the same dream as you and become happier.No, I WILL dream the same dream and become happy.

And...If the happiest thing in the world you dream about is being with me, just don't dream.And if the happiest thing in the world you dream about is being with a different girl, I can come outin that dream, right?I can yell at the girl, and tell her you're mine, and I can disappear right after I do that, right?And If I say I don't wanna leave, you have to push me out, okay?

Just push me out of your dreams.I don't want to bother you in your dreams, too...

From now on, I might make life harder for you, Hubby.So you should at least take a break from it in your dreams...

Sweet dreams, Hubby.Don't dream about me..

[8]

I woke up to someone making weird noises on the bed.Right when I was about to open my eyes, all of a sudden, I felt something on my lips.

Someone else's lips on top of my lips,someone else's smooth arm around my neck,

and, soon, someone else's tongue in my mouth.

It feels... weird.I feels just like last time.

The first time I ever kissed Hubby.

Even though if didn't feel that good, I didn't want to stop him.I just... I just want to stay like this.Even by pretending to sleep...

And just then, the saliva that was in my mouth went down my throat.It all went down with a big 'gulp' sound.


23/172

As if suprised, the arm around my neck suddenly removed itself, then, his mouth.

"You... weren't sleeping?"

He already noticed that I was awake.I got up without a choice.

"Eung. I wasn't sleeping. I just woke up."

Like a tomato that just ripened, Hubby's face got redder and redder by the second.He's so cute.I just wanna bite him.

"Oh... Uh, let's get ready to leave. We're going home, remember?"

After I washed my face hurriedly, I held Hubby's hand and we arrived at the airport.

Even though I want to go home, because we leave so soon, I feel bad and sorry to Hubby.

"This is going to be your second time riding an airplane, right?"

"Eung!! But, Hubby..."

"Yeah?"

"...When you kissed me in the morning, it felt good."

"Uhh.... Huh?"

"Yoo Ahn said if you kiss someone you hate, you feel disgusted inside, but if you kiss someone youlove, she said you'd feel good. The last time we kissed, I felt disgusted and I didn't like you, but thistime, it felt good."

Without a word, Hubby looks at the ground.Between his yellowish hair, I see his red ears.Haha. Yep. Hubby's face is turning red.

"Ahhhh... I'm sleepy."

"You have a lot of sleep. They say people who have a lot of sleep are pretty..."

"That's all lies they tell you. Yoo Ahn has lots of sleep, too, but she's not pretty!"

"You're pretty."

"Except me."

Hubby starts laughin like crazy after I said the words 'Except me'.Aish. Did I do something wrong again?No.Hubby laughs a lot like that.


24/172

After watching Hubby laugh like crazy for a while, my eyes started to close, and I fell asleep.

"Miss!! Hurry up!! Get up!"

"Eung? Huh? We're already here?"

"Yeah, we have to go, Miss-"

"Aish. I'm still sleepy, though..."

Watching me rub my eyes continuously, looking at me as if he had no choice, Hubby leaned hisback toward me, as if to say 'I'll give you a piggy-back ride.'

Because I was really tired, I didn't say anything and got on his back.

"Yoon Ah Yung! Over here!"

A high but strong soprano voice filled the air.A familiar-looking body, as I see it from far away.

There's only one person in this world like her.

"Han Yoo Ahn!!"

"Oh my, it must've been back-breaking work carrying this pig on your back."

"I'm not fat. I'm a whole 5 kg lighter than YOU!!"

"Oh shut up. Making me look bad in front of your husband."

As if suddenly angry at me, Yoo Ahn glares at me.But she still takes all the luggage and puts it in the car and gets ready to leave.

"AAAHHH!!! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF!! AAAAHH! HOW MANY KILOMETERS AN HOUR ARE YOUDRIVING!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

"WOO HOO! I DON'T KNOW! FEELS GOOOOD!"

Because of Yoo Ahn's stupid driving habits, when I arrived at home, my body state was to shakenup to be called a human body.

"Aish. I hate you!"

"But who's the person who brought their DAD'S car to take you home? After all, everything wasperfect except for that little scratch I got."


25/172

"Good for you. Just go to your own home now, please. I wanna be along with Hubby."

"Hey! YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND!!"

Yoo Ahn slams the door as she goes out.Heung! HEUNG! You think I'll be scared of YOU?I'm too used to your hitting me on the head with your pot!

You're useless little thinking to hurt me don't scare me anymore!

"Miss... You have to go to school starting tomorrow."

"Aish. Do I have to? I'm married now, I don't have to, right? I don't want to be far away from you. Ihate that the most. I wanna stay with you. If I go to school, I can't see Hubby's face. I don't wannago-"

"I'll be going to the same school as you. I'll see you during the breaks, right? Or should I go down toyour classroom?"

"What room are you?"

"A!"

"Me too. Me too... We're the same. I think we have a connection or something. So I'm always gonnabe by Hubby's side, okay? I don't think I can live without you anymore, Hubby. When I got lost, youehead kept going 'Wheeeee' in my mind."

"Hm? Head?"

"No, I mean face. Your face."

"Don't worry. I'll always be by your side like this."

"Really?"

"Eung. I can't live without you, either."

"Even after a month, you'll still love me, right?"

"Hmmm.. You don't trust me? Then you can see for yourself and we'll stay together for a month.You can see if I still love you then."

I'll be waiting. I'll wait for one month, and if Hubby still loves me, then the amount I'll love Hubbythen will be twice as much as now. No, I'll love you three times as much as I do now.

Then, it'll be okay not getting worried and just loving you, right?

I love you now.And...I hope I'll still be able to love you later, too.

[9]


26/172

"Aish. Toast again?!"

"Just eat it 'till today, okay? I'll cook rice for you next time, I promise!"

Hahahaha!! A month has finally passed.The day I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for.And I'm sure Hubby still loves me.

That's why he still makes me toast in the morning.

...Even though he burns it so it looks just like chocolate.

"Argh.. I don't like going to school with you, Hubby."

"Why? Why not?"

"Whenever I go with you, al the girls glare at me. I hate it."

"Then why do all the guys glare at ME when I go with you?"

"Because I'm pretty!"

"Haha. You're still so truthful."

After our little conversation and playing around, we arrived at school.I, Yoon Ah Yung, was always tardy.But, Hubby's been waking me up every morning for this whole month,I haven't been late.And, of course, all the girls get jealous of me.

"Hubby! Bye! I love you!!"

"Eung. You too. You have to study hard, okay?"

Everyone stares at us with jealousy in their eyes.

"Ah Yung. Do you have to show everyone that you're just married like that?"

"Eung. I can't help it if Hubby's so cuute."

"Don't forget your face one month ago. Mascara running down your cheeks, crying. If you forgetthat, you're have a stupid brain."

"I don't have a stupid brain!!"

Hearing Yoo Ahn's words about not to forget what I looked like just a month ago, we both went offto our first period class.

I got the necklace Hubby got me with our picture in it out, and I kept touching and looking at itduring class.

Of course I got in trouble because I was playing around with it too much.

"You're going upstairs AGAIN?"


27/172

"Of course."

Yoo Ahn looked at me like she didn't like what I was doing.Whatever.I bounded up the stairs and to the floor above me.

"Seung Jae Obba. Where's Yoo Hyun Obba?"

"I see you're here again. I feel like I've gotten closer to you; you come here so often."

I started becoming more like friends with Seung Jae Obba naturally, as I went to look for Hubbyeveryday.I always told him to go get Hubby for me.

"He's over there. Chi, he plays around real well, with a girlfriend right here."

"I'm not his girlfriend!!!!"

I'm not his girlfriend. I'm his wife.Hubby's wife Yoo Ah Yung.

I kept saying that to myself as I looked toward the direction Seung JAe Obba was nodding towards.Hubby was with this girl... Wait, she's older than me.An unnie.He was playing around with a pen in his hand with the unnie.Aish, what is this? He's playing with another girl...

Different from me, who always gets complimented by other people because I'm cute, this girl hadan adult-ish and sexy look about her.Not the kind of person you could just go up to and say anything you wanted to.

The kind you wouldn't want to mess with.

Her almond-shaped eyes, her high nose, her lips that get thinner when she smiles...The kind of face I would want if I had a choice of how I looked like.

Eyes that are big; they seem like they will take up half of my face.Not a high, nor flat nose.My thin and small lips that only look half the size of my eye.

Thin and scrunched up shoulders, not a tall height.

I really don't like it.

"Hu-Hubby...!"

"Huh? Ah Yung's here!"

I feel like I interrupted the two.As Hubby walks over to me, the unnie that was with him, follows, too.In front of me, she seems about 10 centimeters taller than me.She's glaring at me.I feel like I'm scared of her or something. I slowly walk backwards, away from her.

"Haha. Stop scaring her!"


28/172

Each time Hubby says something to her, I feel more and more frustrated and uncomfortable.I hate it.

Is this... Jealousy?Yoon Ah Yung, are you jealous?

"You wanna go eat lunch with us?"

Hubby puts his face in front of mine and asks.And I see a little smile playing on his lips.

"No. I'm not gonna eat today. I dreamed that I ate too much chocolate and got sick last night, soI'm not hungry."

"You wanna keep saying things that don't make sense? I'll go down to your room later, so you haveto stay there and wait for me. Even if you have to go to the bathroom, you have to wait for me,okay?"

He's smiling. Again.He's smiling like an idiot again.But..But Hubby's not looking at me while he smiles...He's looking at that unnie and smiling like that, ever so brightly..

To that unnie...Now he really seems like an idiot, laughing and smiling like that.Whenever he looks at me and smiles and laughs, it was fake.I was faking it.I was joking.

But...When Hubby looks at that unnie and laughs and smiles, he really seems like an idiot. A true babo.

"Hubby.... You're a babo.."

[10]

Hubby, you're a real idiot.A stupid idiot.

The most stupidest, dumbest, and idiotic babo in the whole wide world.

You can't even tell when I want to do something, or when I DON'T want to do something. Orwhether or not I like it.

You're that kind of an idiot.

"You. Can we talk for a while?"

Right after Hubby goes into his classroom, the unnie grabs my wrist.And she drags me to the top of the school.


29/172

Because my legs are shorter than hers, I pant as we go up the stairs.

"You're Yoon Ah Yung, right?"

"Eung.."

"Stop sticking around Jin Yoo Hyun and back off, will you? Because of you, I want to stick by him,but I can't because there's no room, you know that?"

"No!!"

"Hah. You little girl."

The unnie pushes my forehead back and forth with her middle and forefingers.And she glares at me with all her strength going into her eyes.

"You little girl. Know your place. A little girl like you and Yoo Hyun don't go together, you got that?You're only a burden to him! You said you always cry and whine, didn't you? Haha. Do you knowhow much Yoo Hyun gets frustrated and hates it when you whine and cry like that, like you always

do? You. A little girl like you doesn't go together with a guy like Yoo Hyun, you hear? NEVER."

Me... And Hubby... We don't go... Together?I-I'm only... A... Burden to him?No. It's not true.It can't be true.Hubby never got frustrated or angry with me, ever.He never glared at me when I whined.All he did was hold me in his arms and tell me not to cry in his soft voice...But... But...

Was I making him angry by doing that?

By making him hold me like that?

So... Was I only a burden to him this whole time?

"Listen good. Don't even think about getting between me and Yoo Hyun because that'll just makehim HAVE to stay by your side all the time. He'll have no choice. Until when are you going to keepup with this? Holding on to him like this, crying and whining? Don't hold him with those fake tears ofyours. He's already by ME. It's just that there's no room because YOU'RE here."

[10]...CONTINUED.

Haha.Fake? Fake tears?I'm holding on to him with fake tears?No... I never did that before.No.

They're real.

I just...I-I just...


30/172

'AAAAHHHHH-Hubby don't go! Go with ME!'

'Aish. If you keep doing that I'm gonna cry!'

'Hubby's bad! You have to stay with me the whole day today! You can't go anywhere!'

Haha... She-She's right.

The unnie's right.Up until now... Everything I've done...I tried to keep Hubby by my side by crying all the time.

I kept Hubby from doing the things he wanted to do...Because I cried... All the time.

I only thought about myself... I only thought about me.I only did what I wanted to do-I never thought about Hubby...

Because of all the bad thoughts that came popping into my head, I couldn't move, not even onestep, from that spot I stood.After the unnie just left me there...

I just stood there where she left me.

...Silent tears dropped to the ground.

Hubby looks really good with that unnie.That unnie... She knows how to think about Hubby, and not only about herself.She didn't cry just to keep him by her side all the time, like I did...She acts like a true adult.She does what she's supposed to do.And, above all, she isn't a burden to Hubby.

Those two people look so good together, I can't even say anything.

Because that's the truth. Because what that unnie said was all true.

Even thought that unnie seems like an evil person....She's not bad.It's me who made myself a burden to Hubby...

That unnie... She didn't lie.As a result... I'M the evil one. I made everything so hard for Hubby...I just stood there by his side all the time; his burden.

But I miss his face so much.I miss him.

That's why this 'evil person' part won't go away.

I want to stay by his side, see his face...Just make everythign harder for him.

Whenever I watched dramas, I always thought the evil person part was so tiring. I got sick of them. Ieven talked bad about those evil parts in those dramas...

But...Now that I'm the evil part...I understand everything. I don't want to understand...But now, here I am, understanding and sympathizing with them, like a pathetic idiot.

Haha.... Hah..


31/172

Hubby... I miss you.But... But, you know, me...I-I don't think I'll be able to let you go easily.I know I'm the evil part.I know I'm only a burden to you...But...I was always like this..

My things always had to be mine, and if they couldn't or wouldn't be, I cried. I always did.

That's why I'm crying... I don't want to let you go.I'm not going to let you go...

Can you say something to me, just so I can stay a little stronger a little longer?Can you say that you love me...?

Then I think I'll be able to stay strong and stay by your side all the way.I'll get stronger and make sure I don't be a burden to you anymore.I know I'll make Hubby a lot happier later on...

You... love me, right?

You don't like that unnie, do you, Hubby?Is that why you always make me black, burnt toast?It's not, right? You don't make them burnt like that because of that unnie, right, Hubby?It's because... You've never toasted anything... Right?

Tell me that that's the reason why.Come here right now and tell me.

I don't have the strength to run over where you are, Hubby.Hubby, you have to run to me...

Hubby..I love you, but...

The baby's not coming, huh?Hubby, remember you told me...If you and I love each other, an angel would bring us a baby.

And if I love Hubby and the angel doesn't bring us a baby, then that means Hubby doesn't love me.You told me that...But... There's no baby.

It's weird...The angel must be busy, huh?

Hubby loves me a lot... But the angel is too busy right now, so it's not bringing our baby, right?

Tell me that that's why the angel isn't bringing our baby right now.Tell me right now...Hurry up and come and tell me.

Hah..

But..What if that's not the reason?

Then what do I do?

If Hubby doesn't love me at all...


32/172

Am I still supposed to hold on to you?Or...Since I'm older now...Do I have to let you go?

I don't know.I'm still too young.I don't know.

If Hubby comes and tells me right now that you love me...Then I'd be all grown up and know everything.But.. Hubby, you aren't here right now. And I can't go to you...

No.I'll still hold on to you.I will never let you go, Hubby.Never...Even if we die.

[11]

The cold wind keeps hitting me in the face..It seems as if the wind, too, is telling me to give up and let him go...

My legs feel weak again...Everytime they did... Hubby's back was always there to get a piggy-back ride on.I'd be on his back, and he would laugh and smile as he walked one step at a time..

Even here it seems like if I reach my hand out, Hubby will be there to hold on to it...But... I can't.

I keep thinking about that unnie...And how Hubby smiled at her.

"No. Hubby still loves me. Even thought I always whined... He won't not like me... Probably not.. No.He has to. He can't not like me..."

As I tried to make myself believe what I was saying and went into the bathroom, it was alreadyafter class had started, and as Yoo Ahn kept glancing at me with a worried look on her face, I forcedmyself to smile.

And the teacher made me go out of the classroom for missing half of the whole class.

"Stand there and REPENT."

Like water, I leaned my back against the wall and slid down to the ground.The cold ground and air made me shiver.My hands seem frozen to the ground.

That unnie's eyes scare me..

Evil parts aren't supposed to be afraid of anything...There's nothing to be afraid of..


33/172

But I'm scared.I'm scared that she'll take Hubby away from me.

And a few hours later...I can't even tell how much time has gone by.I just keep staring at the necklace of the picture of Hubby and I.And, looking down on me, Yoo Ahn shakes my shoulders.

"Yoon Ah Yung! What is wrong with you?"

"I... Just..."

Yoo Ahn sighs and takes me by the hand, just as it was, outside.

"Ah Yung, what's wrong? You were fine this morning."

"I just... I just want to see it really bad."

"Huh? See what?"

"Hubby smiling... I want to see Hubby smiling so bad. I think I'm gonna go crazy."

"Did something happen?"

"Someone is trying to steal what's mine. I'm trying really hard not to let go and let that person takehim away from me... I feel sorry. I'm sorry for the person that's mine... If I just keep holding on tohim, I feel bad... I feel sorry for holding on to him like this. He's mine, and he's in my hand, but... Hefeels fake. What I have, what's mine, it seems fake. He's only real in another person's hand, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

The sadness was too great for me, and it came out with tons of tears.Even hiccuping was too hard of a task for me.And, with those many tears, I showed everything inside of me, all the pain that I had hidden insideme, to Yoo Ahn.

And suddenly, she's mad.

[11] CONTINUED.

"You stupid idiot. Can't you think?! Who the hell does she think she is? Is that b*tch something tohim?! Is that why she b*tched at YOU?!!!"

"Hubby and that unnie... They look really good together."

"You retard. Then what about me? Just 'cause I looked good with that pizza delivery guy, did yousee ME stay with him for a 100 days?"

"And... I made everything too hard for Hubby."

"Did Yoo Hyun Shi say that you were making everything hard for him? To get away from him? Whyare you acting like it's the end like a retard?"


34/172

"I... I'm supposed to let him go, right? I can keep holding on to him, can't I?"

"Babo... Stupid idiot.."

Yoo Ahn keeps mumbling and calling me 'idiot' and 'stupid' as she walks.And I walk beside her, thinking stupid and idiotic thoughts.

"Let's go. Since you're not feeling all that good today, I'll make it up to ya."

Yoo Ahn pulls me into a coffee shop.A clean, blue coffee shop.It's mostly surrounded by windows, so it feels like you can see right through ME, too.

"Hey, let's sit by the window. What do ya wanna eat? Don't eat anything fattening!"

I forced myslef to smile at her "joke".

And behind Yoo Ahn's face, I see a really familiar one..A really familiar face...

Don't look. I can't look.I don't want to end up like those typical movie or book characters...I can't look.

"Ah Yung, what's wrong? Oh, you must me mesmerized by this glass table because you can seethrough it, huh? Haha. Let's see Ah Yung's pretty face! Lift up your face."

Yoo Ahn raises my head up with her hand under my chin.And, right then, my eyes meet Hubby's face.Across from him... That... Unnie..

They look so good together. Really good together.And Hubby's smiling... He looks so happy.

If I ruin that smiling face of his...I'd be being bad, huh?

"It-It's hot in here. Let's so somewhere else."

Ignoring Yoo Ahn as she asked what was wrong, I ran out of the coffee shop, wiping away the tearsthat had slid down to my cheeks.

"What's wrong with you?!"

"Did you see? No... You didn't see, huh?"

"See what?"

"That unnie... And Hubby, smiling together.."


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I pointed towards the shop.

"Don't worry about it. You always hang out with that oppa in your neighborhood."

"That oppa only thinks of me like a little sister. That unnie doesn't think of Hubby as a friend."

"Just look ahead of you. If you look behind you, you might just go back to where you started."

"You know, that might not be Hubby. I should call him. Haha. I wonder where he is..."

"Yoon Ah Yung!"

Yoo Ahn swipes away the cellphone out of my hand.What's so wrong?Is it that bad? I just wanna check if that's Hubby or not...

The phone rings a few times, and through the window, I see Hubby pick up his phone.

-Hello.

-Hubby, is that you?

-Yeah, why?

-Where.. Where are you right now?

-Uh... I... Ah, I'm doing study hall!!

-Oh. I see...

-Eung. I'm kinda busy right now. Let's talk later.

The call ends with a click.

"Yoo Ahn... That person in the shop isn't Hubby."

"What the heck are you talking about!!"

"Hubby said he's doing study hall right now..."

"What? What did you just say?"

"Those two people look so good together.. Hubby likes that unnie a lot too... He even lies to meether. I.. I'll let go. I'm giving up. There's no point in all of this. I'm being too bad. From today on.. I...I'm really an adult."

[12]

"Hee.. Heh.. One.. Two... Three.. Fourfive.. Si-ix... bottles of beer..."

"Yoon Ah Yung! Stop drinking! You're already drunk!"


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"Eung.. I know... Six.. Seven.. Eight.. Nine.. bottles of beer.. Haha.. Already nine bottles! Hehehe...one more and it'll be TEN! Puheh... The number Huby loves most.. Hubby's favorite number.. Ten.."

"You just drunk 5 bottles by yourself."

"Yoo Ahn... Ohhh~ You drunk four and you're not even drunk!"

"Get up. Let's go home. You have to go home and get a spankie!"

"No... I'm not going to get a spankie!"

I laughed. Then I cried. Then laughed some more. Then cried some more.I even sang songs..But when I thought of him again...

I start to cry once more..

"Get on. I'll take you home."

"Nono. I want to drink some more. I'll go when Hubby comes to give me a piggyback ride.. Yoo

Ahn's too weak... I don't wanna go."

"Yoon Ah Yung.."

Yoo Ahn wipes my tears with a tissue and puts me on her back.I let her carry me, and after a long time, we arrive to our destination.

"Now.. This isn't my house.. Here is where that unnie and Hubby will be living together... Take meto where my mom is... Eun? Yoo Ahn..."

"This is your house. This is where you'll live for the rest of your life!"

"If you keep saying that I'm going to cry.. Wait. Haha... I'm an adult now.. I can't cry.."

"Let's go."

"I think you're really drunk.. Why do you keep saying that someone else's house is my house? Rubyour eyes. Hard. See? It isn't my house. My house... has a blue roof. This house doesn't have aroof.. And here, my mom's not gonna be in it.. My house is where my mom and dad pull eachother's hair and fight.. There has to be a mean fat lady next door.. And my house is where a littlekid always comes and scribbles on the wall.. And.. My house..."

"Yoon Ah Yung!"

"So... We can't go in there.."

Yoo Ahn.. Don't go in. In there.. There's Hubby. And.. There could also be that unnie with him...Hubby likes that unnie.. And that unnie likes Hubby. I alwaysmade everything hard for Hubby.. Butthat unnie makes him happy.. So.. How can I go in? How can I go in there and be in the middle.. Ihave to let him go..

Since I'm done with my turn of being happy..It's Hubby's turn to be happy now..

Yoo Ahn, who didn't seem drunk at all, compared to me, who couldn't even walk straight, pulled me


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into the house.

The house that I was expecting to be dark was lighted up, and on the sky blue table in the kitchen,Hubby was falling asleep, his head bobbing up and down. And in front of him.. Food. All made byhim..

All burnt.

Yoo Ahn sets me down on the table and shakes Hubby awake.

Hubby blinks his tired eyes and smiles brightly at me.

Don't smile... I might want you more... Something that I can't have..

"Ah Yung, you finally came! I was waiting for you.. Hehe.. The food's all burnt.. But I still tried mybest.. I looked at those books over there and followed it, step by step, but I just can't seem to get itright.. But you'll still eat it, right? You'll still eat it even though it's all burnt? You always ate myburnt toast.."

On top of the sky blue table there is a big stack of cookbooks.Since I'm an adult... I can't cry.. But I'm about to.. again.. like an idiot.

This'll be the third time I shed silent tears..

"Ah Yung. I'm gonna go now, so don't cry, okay?"

Yoo Ahn walks toward the front door, but, as if she's worried about me, she keeps looking back. Shefinally slips on her shoes and walks outside.

"Did you... drink?"

Is it because it's so late? Hubby tries hard to open his tired eyes, while touching his hair..

Hubby... My Hubby...

"Hubby.."

"Yeah?"

"Should we just... let it be over? If it's over, that means... It means we'd be breaking it off, right?Eung?"

"What... Are you talking about? You're drunk.. but even if you are drunk... You shouldn't be sayingstuff like that.."

"Hubby... Let's just break it off.."

Hubby's eyes widen.And from those eyes tat look like the night sky.. Water falls.Rain.. It must be raining..It seems like it's raining in the night...

"Hubby.. I went to a coffee shop today.. A coffee shop that was surrounded by glass.. I went to acoffee shop where Yoo Ahn told me not to drink anything fattening.. so many interesting stuffthere... Yellow fishes in the tank, and even the floor was made of glass... I saw a Yoo Ahn made aglass... And Hubby made of glass.. And an unnie made of glass, too."


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"Mi..ss.."

"Why'd you lie?"

"..."

"Hubby can't tell me..."

"You don't like it when I'm with other girls... I lied 'cause I didn't want you to get mad.."

"Eung.. I see.. then how come you couldn't tell me the first time?"

"You're.. drunk."

"Hubby.. why were you with that unnie?"

"It's her birthday.."

"Hahaha... So that unnie's only friend is Hubby, eh? Hahaha... So that's why.. Only you were withher on her birthday, huh?"

"Other people were supposed to come.."

"Then.. Why didn't they come?"

"Are you jealous? You're acting like all those stupid other girls out there.."

"No.. I just.. I was just wondering.."

"She's just a friend.. You do know what a friend is, right?"

"Eung. I know. But she said you weren't her friend... She said she wanted to be more that friends..."

"What does that have to do with me!!!"

"Hubby.. Let's just break it off.. Eung?"

"Is it 'cause here? Is 'cause I was with her today!!! Just because of your stupid jealousy... Stopacting like a little kid."

"I'm not jealous.. I'm not.. I always made everything so hard for you.. I cried and didn't let you goanywhere.. Now you can go anywehre you want to, Hubby. I won't cry. Hubby and that unnie lookso good together... It makes me look like nothing. e happy with her, Hubby.. I'm too happy.. I can'tbe more happier.."

"You... You know you're acting just like a little kid?"

"Hubby... Be happy.."

"Yoon Ah Yung!!"

I ran out of the house.Hubby.. That unnie'll make you happy..I'll leave and I'll hide somewhere so you can't find me..If you still love me, Hubby.. Don't love me anymore.I don't care whether or not I make things hard for other people, but I don't want to make you tiredanymore, Hubby.

Bye... Hubby.. Bye.


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The bye you say when it's over...When you leave..

Bye...

Hubby.. When I ask you if you were happy, tell me that you're going to be happy. Then I'll be ableto leave for you to be happy.

I can't be the only one to be happy all the time.It's Hubby's turn to be happy..

Just don't tell me that you were happy..Because then I'll keep hanging on to the past like an idiot, thinking I could still make you happy,when all I'd be doing is blocking your real way to happiness...

[13]

I run through the rain without an umbrella in the dark alley...

The rain mixes with my tears and wets my body.It wets my clothes..My hair...And my eyes.

"..Hah..Hah..."

No matter how hard I breathe, I can't see the fog from it because of the rain..Because of the cold rain, I feel as if the alchohol has gotten out of my mind, but my body stillshakes and I can't walk straight.

I keep coughing, and althourhg it's cold, I feel hot.

And with my shaky walking, I arrived to my unintended destination..

"Do Ahn-Do Ahn, are you there? Do Ahn.. My Do Ahn... Did you miss me?"

"Ah...Yung?"

Telling me that my face is red, Do Ahn places a cold handkerchief on my forehead.He lays me down on the sofa and strokes my cheek.

"Do Ahn.."

"Yeah?"

"It's over between Hubby and me... Just like that. It's over.."

"I know... Yoo Ahn called me.."

"I still love him.. But.. It's over.."

"...."


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Do Ahn is crying.He's crying..

Just like me...

"Do Ahn.. While I was with Hubby, I learned something bad.. Wait.. Hubby never taught it to me.. Ilearned it myself.."

"Because my Ah Yung is smart.."

"No.. I learned it because I'm an idiot. Hubby never cried like that in front of me.. But I.. I learned tocry silently all by myself.. He made me cry.. He made me cry so bad that I learned to cry like thatall by myself.."

"Don't cry.. Who made my Ah Yung cry.. Remember? I told you that whoever made you cry, I'd runand go beat them up.."

"Do Ahn.. You never lied.. You really did beat up anyone who made me cry..That's why Yoo Ahncouldn't talk to me for a whole month.."

"Ah Yung.."

"Oh yeah. I did learn something from Hubby. He taught it to me.. Lying.. Hubby taught that to me..Hubby lied everytime he was with me.. Everyday.."

"You can't learn something by yourself.. How about this? Hubby cried silently without Ah Yungseeing.. So.. Wouldn't that be how you learned to cry silently and not be seen?"

"It could be that... Because I always made everything hard for Hubby.."

Do Ahn closes his eyes and once again strokes my cheek.

"No.. That's not it.. So Ah Yung, you don't have to cry."

"Do Ahn.. Did you cry, too? Did you cry when I told you I was going to go to Hubby... Did you crylike me?"

"Eung.. I cried.. I also might've cried a lot more than you, Ah Yung."

"Did I make Do Ahn cry?"

"No.. Ah Yung.. You made me smile more than you made me cry.."

Then why are you crying..

Why do you keep looking at me with those sad eyes..?Ah Yung DID make Do Ahn cry and hurt inside..As a result, I did bad things to everyone..But..I'm such an idiot..So I only realized I made it hard for Hubby..When, right next to me, Do Ahn was hurting and crying..I didn't know..

"Do Ahn don't cry.. I'll cry with you, and I won't stop until you stop."

"Ah Yung.."


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"Yeah..?"

"Then.. If I love myself... Will Ah Yung love me back again?"

[14]

"I really want to be Do Ahn's friend now.. Since I know what a friend is now, Do Ahn knows too,right?"

"No."

"A while ago, I really liked you.. I liked you so much that when I held your hand, my heart wouldbeat so fast.. Now... Now..."

I grabbed Do Ahn's pinkish hand.His hand was wet like he put it in something...

"Do Ahn.. Did you.. cry before I came?"

"No... I just let some tears fall out of my eyes.."

"You idiot... That's crying.."

His voice shakes..And, all of a sudden, I'm in his arms..It's so warm. It's so warm and comfortable..It feels like I'll melt right there..

Just like before..

It's still the same..

But..My heart won't beat faster anymore..It's beating the same speed over and over again..

"If I give Ah Yung some time.. If I let you get ready.. After that.. Will you come back here in my armsto me? I was ready since a long time ago... So I'll go back to you whenever you're ready.."

"But.. I think it'll take me a long time to get ready.. Even after I die, I think I'll still need more time.. Istill might be thinking about it up in heaven.. Are you still going to wait for me? Are you gonna sitthere like an idiot and wait for me?"

"Waiting.. Waiting for Ah Yung is really fun.. It's fun.. It feels good.."

"You loved waiting for me so much.. That you cried? It's so fun and it feels so good that all you do iscry?"

"If Ah Yung's not there, I mean nothing.. So that's why there are only tears left for me to cry.. Whileyou get ready, I have so many things I want to do for you.. But all I know how to do is cry.. That'swhy.. That's why I cried. I cried every single day... I cried when I was happy.. When I was sad.. And Icried when I was sleeping..."

"Then.. When will you be able to forget me? When will you be able to be friends with me like YooAhn?"


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"I might.. I might not have enough time like you.. Even after I die and go to heaven up there, Imight not be able to forget you.. I still might be crying..."

"Then.. Will I have to cry like you?"

"No.. In the next world.. You and I will be born into the same body. So we'll always be together.. Anddo the same things.. Wherever you go, I'll follow you, and we'll always be thinking the same thing..Hahaha.. Wouldn't that be fun? Then.. I won't have to cry, huh?"

Do Ahn..He's crying as he talks.Crying while he talks,Crying while he smiles,and crying while he hugs me..

How much have I hurt him?How much, that he is how he is right now?How much have I hurt him, that he cries in everything he does..?

I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.If I didn't.. Then Do Ahn and I wouldn't have had to cry.No..If I ran away that night over that wall..And if I couldn't even do that, I shouldn't have gone looking for Hubby's room that day at school..

And..And..If God wouldn't allow THAT to happen..I shouldn't have followed that unnie.

Hubby made me regret everything.Hubby did lots of bad things to me..

But.. Me...

I did a lot more bad things than the bad things that Hubby did to me..Right?So.. I SHOULD be crying like this..Right?

I don't have the right to be regretting everything like this..Right?

[15]

"Ah Yung... Be careful.. Take an umbrella because it's raining.."

"Eung.. Thanks... It's okay for me to come here tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah.. Come whenever you want... Everyday... You can come here everyday.."

"Thanks. Thanks..."


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"Wear warm clothes.. And even if you don't want to eat, eat your meals.. Don't lock yourself up inyour room and cry... And don't go anywhere that's cold..."

"Do Ahn.. How'd you know all that?"

"...?"

"How did you know that I don't like to eat... That I lock myself up in my room and cry.. That I walk

around where it's cold..?"

"Because... I did too."

When I opened the front door, Do Ahn smiled.He was smiling.. But he was crying, too...While waving at me to go home safely, he held on to me..And while he closed the door...He opened it again, as if to tell me to come back in.

Wanting to hold on...

But not being able to, must be like this.

Unlike me, who has someone in the way of holding on to Hubby,Unlike me, who feels too sorry to hold on to Hubby,Do Ahn has no one and nothing in his way to stop him from holding on to me..

That..Is probably what it feels like to want to hold on, but can't..

I sigh and start walking.Now.. Where do I go?

I open the umbrella Do Ahn gave me, and started walking..My footsteps are still a littly shaky..

I don't know why, but as I held the sky blue umbrella, and walked through the rain, tears floodeddown my cheeks.Ever since I was little, whenever it rained, I would get sad for no reason, and my eyes would getwet. Haha. Yeah. I was always like this. I always cried when it rained..

That's why I'm crying now..Because I hated the way my tears were falling down like this, I blamed the weather for the way Iwas feeling..

I threw the umbrella down; it was annoying me that I had to carry it all the way to wherever I was

going.The rain mixed with my tears and slid down my face, as the rain soaked into my sandals and myclothes..My hair is already wet, and I feel weaker and weaker..

Through the rain, I see someone walking towards me.

"Ah Yung... Yoon Ah Yung !!"

"...Huh..? Oh... It's Hubby..."


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Hah, look, it's Hubby.My Hubby..He pulled me into his arms in a tight embrace.He's hugging me..But.. I'm trying to push him away..I want to stay like this forever, for the rest of my life..But.. Like an idiot, I'm pushing him away..

"It's raining... What were you doing all by yourself? After you left, I got so worried.."

"You don't have to worry anymore... Because now.. You won't have to see me anymore.."

[16]

Good thing I threw the umbrella away before..Hubby can't see the tears falling down because of the rain mixing with it.If he sees me crying, then he'll have to do everything my way again.If Ah Yung cries.. Then Hubby can't leave. He can't leave towards where he wants to go.. I have to

NOT cry for Hubby to go without any regrets..

"You know I can't live without you.. Eung? You know..."

"Hubby.. No, not Hubby now, but I'll call you Oppa. I can live without you, Oppa. I can live a goodlife. Maybe even better... So don't look for me again. If I disappear, don't come looking for me. Don'teven think about looking for me. Starting tomorrow, don't come to my classroom, and don't putcookies in your backpack to give to me... And... Even without me.. Don't die."

"Haha.. Why's there so many things that I can't do? I won't be able to remember all that stuff.. No..Never. I'll never be able to remember all that.. Just let me remember one thing.. That you're mine.

That you'll be by my side forever.... Just let me remember that.."

No.. Hubby, you can remember all that stuff.. I know you can.Because you're not an idiot like me.. You'll be able to remember all of it.Starting today, Hubby, you can't be in front of my face..Be somewhere where I can't see you..Or else... I'll want to hold on to you..I won't be able to let you go, to where you want to go.

Later on, when Hubby is tired and asks me to leave, I'll be more in love with you, that I can't....So that's why I'm leaving right now.

Hubby... Did you know?That when I told you to never come looking for me again, my heart hurt so much that I squeezedmy hand into a fist.. So hard that blood almost came out...As I let you go right now, my hand hurts so much..Later, when I love you more, it'll hurt a lot more than this..My hand will hurt so much..It'll probably bleed then.

I don't like blood.That's why I'm leaving you now.

So I'll hurt less...So that Hubby will be happier...


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"Yoon Ah Yung.. Is it 'cause her? Is all this because I was with HER at the coffee shop? If it's becauseof that... If it's a stupid misunderstanding.. Then forget about it.."

"No. Oppa, you're the one who's misunderstanding. You're misunderstanding that I'm leaving youbecause of that unnie. Oppa should be the one to leave me... And be happy... Don't make me saythe same things over and over again. I hate that. Don't die.. Don't ever come to find me.. Behappy.. Don't be crying.. Just remember those four things. Remember I told you to remember my

name? Now... You can forget that too. There's no use for it..."

"No.. I can't remember all that. Four things... Let me only remember one.."

"Oppa.. Oppa... Never mind. I'll call you 'Hubby', because this is the last. Hubby, I'll go now.. Fromnow on, there won't be one moment where you'll see me; I swear. Close your eyes... And count untilten. Hubby, you said you liked the number ten, didn't you? If you close your eyes for ten seconds..I'll leave, and won't show my face to you again. Just wait ten seconds... Okay?"

I ran so fast through the rain, that I thought my legs would break.I hear Hubby's footsteps following me..Hubby.. Don't follow me..

Even if you do.. There's nothing good for you here with me...

"I got you.. Yoon Ah Yung.. I'm holding on to you..."

Breathing hard, Hubby grabs my shoulders and hugs me from behind, tight.

"Don't... Follow me."

"You told me to remember four things. And I only remember four things... I don't rememberanything else. I only know four things.. Not being able to go after you, looking for you.. I don't know

all that stuff. So.. I will follow you. I want to follow you for the rest of my life... Like this.."

"No.. You can't do that either.. Following me is a part of coming to look for me..."

"I, Jin Yoo Hyun, will only remember four things. The first one is my Ah Yung's name. Yoon Ah Yung.Second, that I will only love my Ah Yung for the rest of my life. Third, keeping Ah Yung by my sideand never letting her go. Fourth, never looking at other girls for the rest of my life.. I'll onlyremember those four.. I promise. Then it's okay, right?"

"Don't think of everything by yourself."

"How about you!! Don't make everything up by YOURself! I never told you I liked what you weresaying!! Why do we have to go through this!! Why?!"

"I told you. To make Oppa happier. If I'm always next to you, holding on so you can't do anything,and always doing everything my way, then you can't be happy for the rest of your life."

"If I'm by your side, nothing else matters!!"

"Whenever I cry.. Oppa always got mad at me.."

"I never said that. I never said anything like that into your ear. You don't know, huh? That everythree hours you always whine or cry.. And that I always wait for that time.. You don't know, do you?

That you crying in my arms.. That's what makes me happy.. You didn't know... That I was happybecause you were in my arms every three hours.."


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Eung.. I didn't know.. I didn't know any of that stuff.But... Just because you say that now, nothing's gonna change.I already made up my mind by myself.

To leave you...

Because I already found out that, that's the best thing to do..

Chapter 17

Pushing Hubby away from me, I hid behind a nearby alley.He turns the other direction and runs to look for me...

It's really the last time...

You have to be happy, Hubby..

Not even knowing where I was going, my feet led me towards a familiar direction...

"Do Ahn.. Do Ahn.. Open the door.."

His eyes get round as he hands over a towel for me to dry with.

"It's okay... I didn't get THAT wet.."

"What are you talking about!! What about the umbrella I gave you!!"

He seems really mad...After all that effort he put into drying my hair with the towel, he wets it again...

This time, with his tears..

"I wanna sleep here tonight..."

Scared that I might run away again, Do Ahn holds my hand tightly and leads me to a room.

"Good night. Always put on the blanket; you don't want to get a cold.."

"Eung..."

I looked out the window with the think blanket pulled up all the way to my neck.

Soon, as if it didn't rain at all, the night sky turned jet black.The eyes that were as black as the night sky is now.. Hubby's eyes.. But his seemed to have starsthat shone brightly all the time..


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I loved him. That's why it hurts. I have to let him go.

All these words that never made sense to me before; all these words that I never WANTED to makesense of before...

They're all sinking in.

It really is over.

I tried to count the stars and fall asleep.After a while, I finally held that comfort in my heart, and forced myself to sleep.

Right now, just now...I wanted to be happy and beautiful.

"Ah Yung, are you still sleeping?"

I woke up to the sound of knocking on the door and Do Ahn's voice.When did I cry?

The blanket I had pulled up all the way to my neck was all wet.

"Yeah.. I'm awake..."

Do Ahn opens the door and sticks his head in.

"Did I wake you?"

"No. I was just about to wake up anyways."

"If you're tired, just og back to sleep.. I'll wake you up when breakfast is ready."

Watching as Do Ahn smile at me, I smiled, myself, without knowing.And in the mirror next to the door, I see myself, smiling, with swollen eyes..

"You must've cried... Again..."

I sighed and took out my cellphone.

37 missed calls...

I instantly thought it would be Hubby..I'm such an idiot.

I stuffed my cellphone into my pocket.

No.. Why would Hubby call me?Don't think such useless thoughts...

Right then, the phone rings.


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Again, impulsively, I thought it would be Hubby..

"Don't pick it up... You can't pick it up..."

And no matter how many times I told myself not to pick it up, my hand was already opening thephone's cover.

-Hello..

-Ah Yung.. Where are you..

I feel so happy.So happy... To hear Hubby's voice...

-I'm gonng wait for you... Come to the park in front of Han Lim Apartments by ten.. I'll be waiting foryou by the biggest tree there.. With yellow handkerchiefs hanging from it.. I'm going to wait..

-Why do you keep doing this? I'm not going to go.. Don't wait for me.

-I'm still going to wait.. Even if you don't come... No, you have to come.. Since I remembered all thethings you told me to remember, you have to remember what I'm going to tell you now.. I, Jin YooHyun, still love Yoon Ah Yung. I love you so much, Ah Yung.. I love you... I love you... And...

I closed the cellphone's cover and squeezed it in my hand.If I listen to him anymore...I'm going to cry again...

I have to go. I have to go and hold on to him and never let go.. I can't do this anymore... I don't

think this 'nice girl' part is good for me...

Hubby.. I can go, right? I can go.. I can go to hold on to you and never let go... Right?You'll let me, won't you?If you tell me to let you go later on...I won't.

Hubby...I... I...I love H

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If I Marry at 18, When Will We Have a Baby by PureKyeSang