8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

1/19

Managing Difficult Conversations

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

2/19

Ladder of Influence

Follows the concept of Boundedrationality

Select Data Interpret Data

Draw Conclusion

Mental Models strongly affect ourladder of influence.

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

3/19

Be In Control Mental Model

Use- conversation takes anunproductive or unexpected turn.

Aim- to win, not lose - desire to assert

our views Accomplish Aim VALUE of being

Rational Assumption our point is sensible,

obvious Avoid conflict- by suppressing

feelings

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

4/19

Unproductive Thinking Habits

Assume we are right

Based on Intuitive decision making orOverconfidence Bias

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

5/19

Unproductive Thinking Habits

Assign negative attributes andmotives

Similar to the false attribution errorstated in the Attribution Theory

Suspect a hidden agenda in othersdisagreement.

Seem factual and obvious to us

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

6/19

Unproductive Thinking Habits

See ourselves as more reasonable

Expect others to see as well agreewith our view.

Try to reassert our perspective

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

7/19

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

8/19

Unproductive Thinking Habits

Avoid upsetting situations

Assume that others are too fragile tohandle criticism.

Prevents from rectifying the mistake

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

9/19

Our thinking influences our actions

Attribution theory suggests weinterpret others behavior and actaccordingly

We generally dont share ournegative attributions

But our behavior confirms to ourperception.

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

10/19

TheLeft hand Column

Reflecting on our private thinkingisnt easy

Gap exists between our perceptionand our actions

Left hand column case study helpsus identify the activation point of

be in control theory.

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

11/19

Mutual learning

A new mental model leads toproductive conversations

Identifying the point of break downof a conversation

Stopping and reflecting

This pushes the dialogue to a placeof greater openness

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

12/19

Productive Thinking Habits

Assume we have partial knowledge Selected data accumulation pertaining to

ones area of interest

Decision based on understanding of all thefunctions of a business

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

13/19

Productive Thinking Habits

Grant legitimacy to other perspectives

Recognizing the rationale behind othersconclusions

Existence of probability ofmisunderstanding others view point

We may be unreasonable

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

14/19

Productive Thinking Habits

Assume positive intentions

Most people want to do good

Disagreement need not be disrespectfulness

Others decisions are not meant to createproblems

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

15/19

Productive Thinking Habits

Acknowledge our role

My actions might have unintendedconsequences

Analyze how we contribute tocommunication problems

Revise and realign actions with

intentions.

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

16/19

Productive Thinking Habits

Embrace learning

Learn from mistakes

Dont assume others to be averse tocriticism

Establish mutual learning andunderstanding

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

17/19

Shift to MutualLearning

Stop and think during conversations

Sharpen your advocacy and inquiry

skills State your viewpoint with

reasoning

Ask about others line of reasoning Invite others to challenge your

views

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

18/19

Conclusion

Mutual learning makes difficultconversations immenselyproductive

Change the way you think andyoull change the way you converse

8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final

19/19

Thank You