A publication of Sheridan House Family Ministries1 7 0 0 S o u t h F l a m i n g o R o a d • D a v i e , F L 3 3 3 2 5 • ( 9 5 4 ) 5 8 3 - 1 5 5 2 • w w w. s h f m . o r g

May 2010

Honoring Christ by serving the needs of children and families

Violence & Today’s Teen

Why Is There So Much Violence From

Today’s Youth?By Dr. Bob Barnes

Violence & Today’s Teen

Does it seem like there’s more teen violence today than there used to be? Every week there is a new story in the headlines that elicits the same response, “We didn’t expect that to happen here,” or “We never thought that child would do that.” Should we really be surprised? There is more teen anger; and it’s understandable.

Under the disguise of teen privacy and personal rights, we have left today’s teen without the one thing they should have the right to have - protection. Today’s teen is desperately in need of protection from the myriad of unhealthy influences in their lives. (continued...)

Please join us in congratulating the following residents for their

outstanding achievements this quarter.

Dakota P. - graduated from the Girls’ Residential Program.

Alex R. – made all A’s!

Ferdinand P. – made all A’s and 1 B!

We are so proud of you and your determination to strive for excellence in all you do!

Some of my proudest moments as a dad were the days my

kids graduated from school. Whether it was kindergarten,

high school, or college, I was so proud to see them

take the next step in life. I knew that with each life

milestone, they were becoming who God has specifically

designed them to be…and He let me be a part of it!

We get that same feeling each time a child graduates from

our residential program. Regardless of the behavioral

issues that brought them here, through the love,

discipline, and training they receive while enrolled at

Sheridan House, they are able to not only achieve the

goals set before them, but also conquer the strongholds

in their lives with help from our loving Savior, Jesus

Christ.

The children we minister to day-in and day-out have such

a great need and our residential team has been gifted and

equipped to serve them at the point of their need, but

without your assistance none of this would be possible.

Won’t you please join me in supporting the children of

Sheridan House? A small monthly gift will help sponsor a

child to receive the help he or she so desperately needs.

Let’s be a part of something awesome…something

that only God can do…something that will matter

for eternity…and watch Him Restore a Life & Save a Future!

Serving Him,

A Note From Bob -

Support a child at:www.shfm.org/restorealife

Adopted at age 5, the behavioral issues began early for young Karina. For years, she adamantly fought against her parents and new sisters. She stole from them. She cursed at them. She would take her parents and sisters most sincere belongings and destroy them out of spite. She literally hated her “new family.” As she grew up, Karina’s behavior continued to worsen. She had failing grades. She began to cut herself. She would fight at school. Karina even swallowed an entire bottle of pills in an attempted suicide.

Over the course of time, Karina’s parents had worked with numerous counselors, family therapists, and psychiatrists to try to reach her. In one final attempt before removing Karina from their home, they called Sheridan House.

Fourteen year old Karina arrived at Sheridan House suited up in armor and ready for a battle. From the moment she arrived, she refused to refer to the house mom as “mom.” The food was “stupid,” the rules were “stupid,” and even the dog was “stupid.”

Although Karina came to Sheridan House ready to battle, it was amazing how quickly she let her guard down. She began to thrive off the loving family environment here. Her hesitations of using the word “mom,” we found out, came because of the abuse her

biological mother subjected her to as a child. After a few weeks here, Karina would start and end a sentence with the word “mom” and would even find a place somewhere in the middle to toss it into conversation. It would sound something like this. “Mom, what do you think about the color purple, mom? Do you like it, mom?” We couldn’t believe how quickly she was responding.

Most of her life, Karina spent her days in the garage watching TV, isolating herself from the family. They could go for days without even hearing her speak. Since enrolling in Sheridan House, Karina’s personality began to shine brighter each day. She’s now cracking jokes, bringing up conversation at dinner, and smiling all the time. Additionally, she even made good grades!

As months passed, we helped Karina’s parents develop both structure and discipline at home, and the progress in Karina’s life continued. When her parents drop her off each week, they say, “We don’t even know who this child is anymore!” Karina is now a contributing part of her family. She no longer spends days isolated from her family. She eats meals with them, watches movies with them, makes conversation, talks about her day, and even goes to the gym with her mom and sisters.

Through Karina’s journey at Sheridan House, she also made a decision to follow Jesus Christ as her Savior. We are so proud to announce that Karina will successfully graduate the Sheridan House Residential Program in two weeks.

Another Restored Life – Karina

Picture the world of today’s teen. The one thing today’s teens desperately have the right to trust…to count on…is the stability of their family. However, half of them only have one parent in the home. Their “truster” is broken because their family life is broken.

Consider their environments. School is supposed to be a safe place; a place created by the community for teens to go and learn. Instead, school has become such an unsafe environment that most adults would not choose to work there in fear of being injured. They have metal detectors welcoming students and police or security guards greeting them in the hallways. The take away for students is that adults don’t really care or, at least, care enough to make the school environment as safe as their work environments.

Another area where they need protection is the cyber-world. Today’s teen is given the right to communicate with anyone at anytime via a multitude of cyber-devices and often times without any parental supervision. If I wouldn’t let a stranger come into my house and sit in my teen’s bedroom, then why would I let a stranger do it via the cyber-world?

No wonder teens are so angry. No wonder they are acting out the violent moves they have played and practiced on the video and internet games. Many teens are angry, but there is an easy answer for parents - a response. The response is something everyone can do; it’s called relationship.

The changeable part of the equation regarding teen anger is the schedule of the parent. Teens need to know that their parents aren’t

too busy or absent altogether. Whether it is a one-parent household or two-parent household, the teen needs a relationship with a parent who will not require them to perform for attention.

Here’s the trick. Teens will often act like they don’t want a relationship with their parents. Yet deep down inside, most of them want a relationship with a parent or adult who can show them the ropes and who they can trust with their greatest fears. One of the obvious reasons the teens make great life changes here at Sheridan House is because they are introduced to adults who care. Yes, there’s still discipline and accountability, but the adults still care and they express their caring attitude.

Today’s parent can combat teen violence by deciding right now that it’s time for a relationship. If your teen is older, expect resistance. Regardless, set the appointments for spending “uninterrupted by anyone’s mobile phone” time together. Then, choose to listen!

The violence is screaming at teens prompting them to question, “Whose am I anyway!?” Parents need to be saying, “You are mine. I love you. I value you…and I’m re-arranging my schedule so we can spend time together!”

Each teen desires and needs to belong to something. Left alone, it could be a gang or a boy/girlfriend relationship. If parents decide to be intentional, it should be a family, a church youth group, and ultimately, Jesus Christ.

Your contributions are tax-deductible to the full extent of the law. A copy of the official registration and financial information may be obtained from the Division of Consumer Services by calling toll-free (1-800-435-7352) within the state. Registration does not

imply endorsement, approval, or recommendation by the state. Sheridan House Family Ministries registration number is CH24786.

Celebrating 40 Years of M

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Sheridan House Family Ministries1700 S. Flamingo Road, Davie, FL 33325(954) 583-1552 • shfm.org

Real Answers for Real Families www.parentingtoday.org

Today’s culture brings more distractions for parents and more difficulties for children, but parents cannot allow themselves to get distracted by all the opportunities and activities. Moms and dads must make the right parenting decisions. They must choose to raise responsible children. Parenting Today provides vital information that will help parents think through and implement a parenting approach that will prepare their children for adulthood.