Ministerial Start-Up WorkshopOct. 24, 2009

Rev. Tracey Robinson-Harris, Diversity of Ministry Program, UUA

Rev. Joan Van Becelaere, Ohio-Meadville District

Chalice Lighting

AgendaChalice Lighting Welcome/IntroductionsClotheslines and Kite Strings History of Ministry at First UU PittsburghCongregational Norms and MythsLunchSystems Thinking and Congregational ChangeInstitutional Habits and Values Assessing Success for the First YearWrap up and Closing

Kite Strings & ClotheslinesValuing Our Differences

History of MinistryWhich ministers have been most memorable? 

Why?How did each minister serve the congregation?

What was her/his focus of ministry? What was the congregation’s focus during this

time period?  How did it see its mission in the larger community?

Where there any critical events? What has the congregation learned from these

changes? Learnings that might impact diversity?

Norms and MythsMyths are powerful images, phrases or short

sentences that shape a community’s perception of itself. “This is who we are.”

Norms are unwritten, maybe even unspoken rules that govern behavior in the congregation. “Just the way we do things around here”.

Lunch

Systems ThinkingThings do not exist independently, only in

relationship to something else. The whole cannot be understood by simply understanding each part

Each part contributes to the whole , things function as they do because of the presence of one another. My behavior affects you, yours affects me.

Change is one part produces change in other partsSystems like equilibrium, status quo, homeostasis.Interactions between different people affect the

wholeRelationships are not merely interesting-it’s all there

is

Discussion When change in one part of a relationship

produces change in other parts of the relationship, you know you are dealing with a system.

In the recent past, what change(s) has your congregation faced? Any changes in relation to ARAOMC work?

How did this change result in changes in other parts of the congregation?

What parts were affected most? Why?How did people (including you!) react?

Systems Thinking and Congregations Where two or more are gathered, there is an

emotional system.All human beings live in emotional systems.

The same emotional processes occur in all relationships.

Systems thinking takes away polarities of either/or and cause and effect thinking. Every cause is a reaction and every reaction is a cause.

Emotional systems are automatic, instinctive, reactive and defensive. Driving these systems are innate forces that seek survival. The resulting reactions are not learned or thought out. They are “wired in,” natural phenomena.

Systems Thinking and Congregations Congregations are emotional systems

with patterns and habits. (norms) They resist change from the familiar

pattern even if it is dysfunctional. (We’ve always done it this way – even though we hate it!)

Relationships in the present can have more to do with emotional processes that have been reinforced for many generations than with the logic of their current context.

No emotional system will change unless people change how they behave and function with one another in the system.

Systems Thinking and Congregations Emotional systems are driven by two major

forces - separateness and closeness. Two needs influence all relationships —

-the need to be separate, to stand alone, to be independent; -and the need to be close, to connect, to interact with others.

Anxiety arises when individuals sense themselves outside their comfort zone relative to separateness and closeness, habits and change.

Systems Thinking and Congregations The Balancing of Separateness and Closeness is

the process of Self-Differentiation. A healthy person or group balances the two forces. Healthy persons (and group)s are separate and

responsible for their lives and functioning. They are also connected and responsive to others.

They don’t get “sucked into” others emotional reactions.

The Universe – and congregations – work best with a healthy process of balancing and differentiation.

Congregations as Emotional SystemSelf-Differentiation is most evident in the way

we work out differences and conflict with each other.

Self-Differentiation is the capacity to “like the way your mother fried potatoes but not to be overwhelmed by anxiety if someone else’s mother fried them differently. This means you don’t try to convert others to your mother’s fried potatoes, nor do you give in to another’s need for fried potatoes of a certain kind. And you do not disconnect from another until they fry their potatoes your mother’s way.”

Peter Steinke

Anxiety in CongregationsAnxiety is natural. It affects all human

relationships, communities and systems.It is an automatic response to a change or a

perceived threat - real or imagined.Anxiety is a critical part of all humans &

groups. It arouses us to make needed changes in our

lives. But when it gets too intense and crosses a

threshold it paralyses us and affects our thinking.

Anxiety in CongregationsAnxiety may be ordinary, acute or chronic.Ordinary anxiety is part of life in social

change.Acute anxiety is situational and time-bound.Chronic anxiety is habitual. It is structured

into the relationship or system itself. A small issue or trigger sets it off.

Healthy systems handle anxiety with resiliency.

Unhealthy systems are, by nature, anti-resilient.

The Human Brain and AnxietyIn intense anxiety, we move to reptilian response,

self-preservation, rapid reaction to potential danger. The mammalian brain interprets whether something

is painful or pleasurable. Anxiety can push the brain’s reaction to love or hate in the extreme.

The thinking brain has the potential to regulate the mammalian and reptilian brains.

Certain triggers can bring out emotional reactions in undifferentiated people that bypass thinking brain.

A differentiated person can regulate reactions and respond thoughtfully, creatively to anxiety triggers.

Anxiety in CongregationsThe fourteen most common triggers of

anxiety in congregations:Old versus newGrowth/survival Staff conflicts/resignation of staff memberInternal or external focusMajor trauma, tension, or transitionMoneyType of worship

Anxiety in CongregationsIssues involving sex/sexualityPastor’s leadership styleHarm done to a child/death of a childProperty building, space, territoryDistance between the ideal and the realLay leadership’s styleBoundary issues

Anxiety in CongregationsReactivity rises, knee-jerk reactions. Some push for a quick fix to lessen anxiety.Others want to blame someone, anyone.Communication is closed, secret, distortedUse of threats, manipulation and tantrums Splinter groups formThose who introduce change of any kind are

rejected, don’t rock the boatLeadership roles may rapidly changePeople think in polarities – either/or, win/lose

Anxiety in CongregationsHighly anxious people find it hard to avoid

extremes in reactions. Instincts take over. We loses clarity, insight, direction, judgment

and resiliency.Anxiety is contagious. Group think, and mob

panic.Anxiety acts like a virus, seeks out weakest links. Viral anxiety is maintained & nurtured by

relationships in the larger system. Anxiety becomes focused on people in two

positions: the most responsible and the most vulnerable. People want to focus anxiety somewhere.

Anxiety and CongregationsHealthy groups are not always peaceful &

tranquil. But not chronically anxious, either.Healthy churches respond to change and

problems with resiliency, flexibility, creativity, objectivity.

Leaders analyze, evaluate change calmly and develop effective responses to acute anxiety.

The leaders help the people reason through differences and reactions to change.

Congregations & ChangeLeading Change in the Congregation: Spiritual

and Organizational Tools for Leaders by Gilbert R. Rendle. Alban Institute.

The Power of Spirit: How Organizations Transform by Harrison Owen. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Memories, Hope and Conversations: Appreciative Inquiry and Congregational Change by Mark Lau Branson. Alban Institute.

Congregations & Change“When chaos strikes, transformation begins.

The Spirit of a people enters a critical process with possible end results ranging from dissolution to the emergence of a radically new, more complex, adaptive organization.

The process itself is that of grief working, enabling us to let go of what was in

preparation for what is yet to be.” Harrison Owen

Congregations & ChangeGRIEF REACTION TO CHANGE

Shock and AngerDenialMemories, stories are repeatedOpen Space - DespairOpen Space – Silence, Time of DecisionQuestioning/ImaginingNew Vision

People on different parts of the roller coaster may speak the same words with different meanings

Leadership in Times of ChangeLeaders must realize that our congregations

are interdependent systems. face the reality of change ourselves, know the

stages and signs of grief and where we are located in our own personal process.

realize that people go through the grief process at different rates.

work to make our congregations truly safe places where people learn to accept change, work with it, and create a new vision of the future.

Congregations & ChangeHow does First UU Pittsburgh respond to

change?

Institutional HabitsEither/Or Both/AndScarcity Abundance Secrecy TransparencyIndividual Action

Collaboration/CooperationInward Focus Outward FocusDominant Culture Multicultural

Efficiency

Effectiveness

Faithfulness

What we’ve learned about Leadership & Identity as a Leader• Critical self reflection• Cultural humility/cultural empowerment• Systemic knowledge of oppression/privilege

(individual & institutional)• Willingness to engage messy, complex difficult

conversations and knowing how to have them• Knowing how to bring others along• Understanding how to change systems• Commitment/determination to stay at the

table/commitment to interrupt business as usual at the table.

• Adapted from various sources including work by Frances Kendall

ProcessDoes the agenda include items addressing

oppression and privilege?Do reports reflect our commitment?What evidence is there in our process of

outreach for the purpose of accountability?Do we share responsibility?Are we conscious of the systemic power of

oppression and privilege? How is this so?Do our decisions/actions move us closer to

our vision of an ARAOMC institution?How does identity intersect with the work

we do?How do we incorporate what we learn from

our observations?

AccountabilityRelationship: involve those affected by

decisions in decision-makingValues: apply

anti-oppression/anti-racism/multicultural lenses to decision-making

Policies and Practices: reflect commitment to social justice, particularly with regard to historically oppressed identity groups

ValuesWelcomingWelcomingRespectful Respectful Inclusive Inclusive

Honoring principle-centeredHonoring principle-centeredBoundariesBoundaries

Honoring DiversityHonoring Diversity

Signs of a Successful First YearGroups of 3Determine 3 three accomplishments or signs

or events that would signify to you that the first year has been successful.

Write each item on a separate sheet (abbreviate)

Closing