Our Lady of Bethesda Retreat Center Bethesda, Maryland · in your binder or will be distributed by the Retreat Master. We recommend that you reflect on these questions in Chapel or

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Our Lady of Bethesda Retreat Center Bethesda, Maryland

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Table of Contents

WHATARESPIRITUALEXERCISES? 5

WHATARESPIRITUALEXERCISES? 7PRACTICALGUIDELINES 7

GUESTINFORMATION 11

INFORMATIONABOUTTHERETREAT 13VOLUNTEERSDUTIESOFRETREATATTENDEES 14ABOUTTHEFACILITY 15

VARIOUSPRAYERSFORUSEDURINGTHERETREAT 17

PRAYERSTOBEGINANDCONCLUDEMEDITATIONS 19MORNINGPRAYERS 20THEANGELUS 21SALVEREGINA 22

TOOLSFORSPIRITUALPROGRESS 23

GUIDETOIGNATIANIMAGINATIVEPRAYER 25GUIDEFORREPETITION 27GUIDEFORGATHERINGOFGRACES 28GUIDEFORSPIRITUALDIRECTION 29THEVOCATIONSTATEMENT 31THEPROGRAMOFLIFE 35MAKINGTIMEFORPRAYER 49

GUIDETOTHESACRAMENTOFPENANCE 51

MAKINGABETTERCONFESSION 53HOWTOGOTOCONFESSION 56PRAYERBEFORECONFESSION 56ACTSOFCONTRITION 57

PAGESFORPERSONALNOTES 59

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WhatAreSpiritualExercises?

What are Spiritual Exercises

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What are Spiritual Exercises? The Spiritual Exercises are a collection of meditations, prayers, and contemplative practices developed by St. Ignatius Loyola to help people deepen their relationship with God. They touch on many important aspects of the spiritual life, but the central principle is the imitation of Christ our Lord.

Practical Guidelines AIM: Spiritual exercises have three main goals: To know ourselves in God’s eyes. To know the person of Jesus Christ. To imitate the person of Jesus Christ. Every element of the retreat is designed to accomplish these aims in a harmonious way: there is nothing superfluous. Not even the meal times or a good night’s sleep are extraneous, since you will need to be well rested and have no excuse not to pray. In addition, the readings during meals can be the most life-changing moments of the entire retreat. And you can take advantage of the personal times to get some fresh air and contemplate the inspirations of the Holy Spirit in your soul.

Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Life Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and

by this means to save his soul. All other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help him fulfill the end for which he is created. From this it follows that man is to use these things to the extent that they will help him to attain his end. Likewise, he must rid himself of them in so far as they prevent him from attaining it. Therefore, we must make ourselves indifferent to all created things, in so far as it is left to the choice of our free will and is not forbidden. Acting accordingly, for our part, we should not prefer health to sickness, riches to poverty, honor to dishonor, a long life to a short one, and so in all things we should desire and choose only those things which will best help us attain the end for which we are created

#23 from The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola


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The main qualities required for a good retreat are humility, sincerity and generosity. Humility, to be well disposed to approach God; sincerity, to be open to what God is asking of you; and generosity to respond as Mary did: “Let it be done to me according to your word.” There are also some temptations that you should be aware of during the course of the reflections. The first is not to confuse emotions with real generosity and openness to the Holy Spirit. The success of the retreat does not depend on our feelings, but to the degree that we allow Jesus Christ into our soul and to move our will. We should come up with concrete and practical solutions that will help us to change our lives. Another common error is to apply the principles and truths to others whom we think need it more than we do (our spouses, friends, enemies and so on). In order to progress in your spiritual life, it is necessary to make the effort to apply all of these themes to yourself. MEANS: A. Points for the Day Each meditation is one hour long and has two parts. The first part is when the preacher speaks for about a half an hour giving the individual retreatants the material for the second part of the meditation. It is always good to write down the different points so that it will be easier to review the material. The second part of the meditation is when the priest finishes and invites each person to meditate on the points. This is the most important part of the meditation. This is where each person assimilates and makes the truths they are meditating on their own. They should go to the Chapel or their room and meditate on the points that they found most striking. It is also good to write down any "lights from the Holy Spirit". Remember that the meditation is for one hour. B. Personal Questionnaires Retreatants will be directed to spend time on a selected Personal Questionnaire. The goal of this is to help us to know ourselves better. Self-examination in the light of Christ is the best way to do this. It is good to spend at least half an hour doing this. The Personal Questionnaire can be found in your binder or will be distributed by the Retreat Master. We recommend that you reflect on these questions in Chapel or another quiet location. C. Mass The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is the most important moment of each day during the retreat. Each retreatant should live the Mass with special fervor. D. Sacrament of Penance Each retreatant will have the opportunity to go to confession. St. Ignatius of Loyola recommend that each person make a general confession of all of the serious sins of their past life. This general confession is encouraged but not obligatory. St. Ignatius points out that even though these sins have previously been confessed and forgiven they can leave a scar upon our soul. Only perfect contrition can totally eliminate this scar and the weakness that the soul has incurred. The general confession helps us achieve a much greater contrition and healing of soul.


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E. Spiritual Direction Each retreatant will have the opportunity to meet with one of the priests or other Spiritual Directors to go over any specific problems or questions that may arise during the retreat. It is very good to have the points you want to go over clear in your mind, writing down a list can help you make better use of your time. F. Rosary Unless otherwise indicated, the rosary is recited individually and in silence each day during one of the personal times. G. Stations of the Cross The Stations of the Cross is prayed together as a group in the Chapel or outside if weather permits. H. Silence Silence is one of the key elements to the success of the retreat. God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts and so it is necessary to maintain an external and internal silence. External silence means not speaking to anyone else except the spiritual director or retreat master. The most important silence is the internal silence. This means that retreatants have to leave their worries and concerns (work, home, family) and focus on the retreat and only the retreat. Silence also means to concentrate on the material of the retreat and not just "good and spiritual things" that are not the focus of the retreat. I. Readings during the meals To help promote recollection and focus, there are readings during the meals. The readings go along with the general themes of the retreat. The meal starts with a prayer and then all may serve themselves. Meals will end with a prayer. J. Personal Time This is time for each retreatant to work. You can go over your meditations, pray the rosary, prepare your confession or spiritual direction, work on your program, make visits to the Blessed Sacrament, or just take a walk and reflect.


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GuestInformation• Informationaboutthe

Retreat

• VolunteersDuties

• AbouttheFacility


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Information About the Retreat ANIMATORS - Animators are volunteers who will try to keep the retreat running smoothly for you. They assist with registration, assist volunteers with their tasks as needed, and pass on messages related to the retreat. An animator will be available to answer your questions and handle problems. COMMUNICATION ON SILENT RETREAT It is extremely important that you maintain silence as much as possible so you can hear the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, there will be a small box on the table outside the conference room where you may leave notes with questions or comments for the animator; please put your name and room number on the note so the animator can respond personally to you if needed. There will also be a box for questions for the Retreat Master, directly. If the question is lengthy or needs an immediate response (whether from animator or Retreat Master), please indicate that you must talk with them. You will then go to a room and close the door so that your discussion will not disturb the other retreatants. Please resist the temptation to make or receive phone calls. Please wear a name tag throughout the retreat so the priest and animator can learn your name. We also ask that you make every effort to be a few minutes early for each conference, meditation, or talk, and that you stand when the priest enters the room so you are ready to begin the opening prayers. In case of emergency, call 911. If your family has an emergency after normal business hour, they may call Angela Draley, 240-461-8657, OLB Program Assistant. MATERIALS

BIBLE - You are welcome to borrow a bible from the table outside of the conference room, if you did not bring one. BINDER - Your binder contains most of the information you will need for the weekend, such as schedule, prayers, guides for Confession and Spiritual Direction, blank sheets for notes. Please read through the binder. SCHEDULE - You will be notified if there are changes to the schedule. The animator will usually lead you in morning and evening prayer in the Chapel. If there are two groups saying morning and evening prayers together, prayers will be said quietly because of the possible difference in prayers. ROSARY - The Rosary is indicated on your schedule and is said in private. GUEST SAFETY - The animator or a volunteer will turn off unnecessary lights and make sure outer doors are locked at approximately 9:00 PM or at the discretion of the animator/volunteer.


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RETREAT LOCATION - “POINTS” as indicated on the schedule are in the large conference room at the end of the hall on the first (bottom) floor OR in the chapel. PERSONAL QUESTIONAIRE - found in your binder or will be distributed by the Retreat Master and is done in Chapel or other preferred quiet location. You will be notified if there are changes to the schedule.

Volunteers Duties of Retreat Attendees

VOLUNTEER DUTIES - Each retreatant is asked to sign up for at least one task during the retreat. A more complete explanation of the following duties can be found at the registration desk.

• Mass Reader(s) - Readings are in the Magnificat. The Lectionary will also be available.

• Prayers of the Faithful Reader – one copy for Sunday intercessions will be at the registration desk. The sacristan or animator will place one on the lectern and the other on the altar under the Sacramentary. Instructions are on the sheet.

• Sacristan - to set up for Mass or Adoration. Please enter sacristy on the right and wash your hands for 20 sec.

• LOCK-UP --Turn off lights and lockup outer doors - At 9:00 PM or at discretion of animator or volunteer.

• Prayer leader - Lead morning and night prayers; lead Angelus and prayers before and after meals.

About the Facility TEMPERATURE CONTROL - The heat or A/C will already be ON when you arrive in your room. To change the temperature in your room, adjust the thermostat to your comfort level. Make sure the fan is on by checking under the flap on the radiator. The fan must be on for both heat and A/C. BEDROOM DOORS - Please do not lock your bedroom door as there are no keys. The combination lock on the hall door is for the protection of your belongings when you are not in your room and no staff is present to monitor visitors. The code will be provided.


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DEPARTURE - At the end of the retreat, please turn the thermostat as high as possible during A/C season, and as low as possible during heating season so the AC or heating will not turn on. Please make sure all lights are turned off. Your bed linens and towels should be placed on the floor outside your room along with the bag (tied, please) from your trash can. Please do not fold the linens or stuff into pillow cases! Blankets and pillows stay in the room, folded on the bed. Make sure you take all personal belongings with you. Return the plastic holders for your ID tags. Also please return the survey form and the evaluation forms by putting them on the registration desk. SHOWER ROOM - There is a shower room on each floor with four stalls in each. A basket of miscellaneous toiletries is placed in each shower room for your use as needed at no charge. Please use Antibacterial spray in your shower stall once you have completed your shower. If you cannot find what you need, please see the animator or leave a note in the Questions for Animator box. WALKING THE GROUNDS - If you desire to go out early in the morning for a walk, please make sure you unlock the front door if it is still locked so that you may re-enter the building when finished. You are free to walk on the grounds during personal time if weather permits. OFFICE is open on weekdays, and administrative people are here if problems arise during business hours 9-5pm. OTHER GROUPS we will limit the entry of people who are not attending the retreat while you are here. There may be times when OLB staff will attend Mass with your group. Please maintain your silence as much as possible. BOOK STORE - The book store will be open, please wear a face covering when shopping in the bookstore and try to maintain 6’ social distancing. The bookstore is self-serve, but we encourage you to refrain from extensive browsing until the conclusion of your retreat, at which time you are invited to browse and purchase. There will be information about types of payments we can receive. The payments should be inserted into the wooden box on the table in the bookstore.


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VariousPrayersforUseDuringtheRetreat

• PrayerstoBeginandConcludeEachMeditation

• MorningPrayers

• TheAngelus

• SalveRegina

Prayers for Use During the Retreat

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Prayers to Begin and Conclude Each Meditation

To Begin: V./ In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. V./ Come, Holy Spirit, R./ fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. V./ Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. R./ and you will renew the face of the earth. V./ Let us pray: Lord, by the light of your Holy Spirit you have taught the hearts of your faithful. In the same Spirit help us to relish what is right and always rejoice in His consolation. We ask through Christ our Lord. R./ Amen. V./ Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. R./ Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. V./ Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, R./ As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. To Conclude: V./ We give you thanks for all your gifts, Almighty God, living and reigning now and forever and ever. R./ Amen. V./ Christ our King! R./ Thy Kingdom come! V./ Virgin most prudent, Mary, mother of the Church, R./ Pray for us.


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Morning Prayers PRAYER TO THE HOLY TRINITY My Lord, God of heaven and earth – Father and Creator, Son and Redeemer, Holy Spirit and Sanctifier – I adore you and love you with all my heart. I thank you for creating me, redeeming me, calling me to the Catholic faith, and watching over me last night. I offer you on this day my prayer, my work, and my struggles, my sufferings and my joys. Enable me to do everything out of love for you and according to your will. Make me steadfast in living my Christian vocation, patient in suffering, courageous in proclaiming my faith; fill me with wisdom on life’s journey and charity in dealing with others. Free me from sin and from all evil. May your grace always remain with me and with all who are dear to me. Amen. PRAYER TO JESUS CHRIST Lord Jesus, faithful friend of my soul, once more I offer you my life so you can teach me to do your will, give me the strength to follow you, and help me to imitate your virtues, especially those that please you most: charity, humility, justice and honesty. Make me a faithful, zealous apostle of your Church and grant me the grace that will enable me to proclaim your saving message to the brothers and sisters I meet on my journey today. May I live my Catholic faith with such evident conviction and share it with such ardent zeal that I become a fruitful and effective fisher of souls for you. Amen. PRAYER TO THE BLESSED VIRGIN Mother, I come before you on this new day to bless you for the great things almighty God has done for you, to thank you for the graces you have obtained for me, to consecrate to you all my thoughts, words and actions, and to ask your blessing for me and all those who are dear to me. Intercede with God for all of us as we strive to live the faith, hope and charity of which you set us such an admirable and noble example. Enable me to imitate the life of prayer, obedience, humility, fidelity, sacrifice and simplicity that you shared with your Son, our Brother and Lord. Help me to form a meek and humble heart like that of your son, Jesus Christ, and obtain for me the grace of receiving him in the sacrament of his love as fervently as you throughout the years of your solitude. Mother, tell Jesus how much I want to love him, how ardently I desire to become holy and be his apostle. Tell him how fervently and constantly I want to serve him and be his faithful instrument in fulfilling my specific mission in this world. Amen.


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The Angelus V./ The angel of the Lord appeared unto Mary, R./ and she conceived of the Holy Spirit. V./ Hail Mary …

V./ “Behold the handmaid of the Lord, R./ be it done unto me according to thy word.” V./ Hail Mary …

V./ And the Word was made flesh R./ and dwelt among us. V./ Hail Mary …

V./ Pray for us, most holy Mother of God, R./ that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

V./ Let us pray: Pour forth we beseech Thee, O Lord, Thy grace into our hearts, that we, to whom the incarnation of Christ Thy Son was made known by the message of an angel, may by His passion and cross be brought to the glory of His resurrection. We ask this through the same Christ Our Lord.

R./ Amen. V./ Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit R./ As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

(three times) V./ We give you thanks for all your gifts, almighty God, living and reigning now and

forever. R./ Amen.


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Salve Regina

Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae, vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve. Ad te clamamus exsules filii Hevae, Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes in hac lacrimarum valle. Eia, ergo, advocata nostra, illos tuos misericordes oculos ad nos converte; Et Jesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui, nobis post hoc exsilium ostende. O clemens, O pia, O dulcis Virgo Maria.

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ToolsforSpiritualProgress• GuideforIgnatianImaginativePrayer

• GuideforRepetition• GuideforGatheringofGraces• GuideforSpiritualDirection• GuidefortheVocationStatement

• TheProgramofLife• MakingTimeforPrayer

Tools for Spiritual Progress

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Guide to Ignatian Imaginative Prayer

Some guidelines for Ignatian Imaginative Prayer

The point of departure for almost every meditation is a suitable biblical text. This text should be read as lectio divina, that is, with faith and feeling, by placing ourselves in the material place of the mystery that is being revealed to us. Here are some guidelines for this type of prayer: 1) Set your particular time and a conducive

space/environment for your prayer. You may want to have a certain spot and perhaps light a candle to remind you of the sacredness of this time with our Lord. Choose a posture that will be beneficial for you to really be attentive to God.

2) Recollect yourself, realize you are in the presence of God who loves you and desires this time with you.

3) Pray to the Holy Spirit for light and guidance as you begin. 4) Pray your preparatory acts of faith hope and love. These are to be spoken

sincerely and from your heart in order prepare your heart for this time of prayer: this tills the soil of your soul to be receptive to God.

5) Next, ask God for the desire of your heart...the deepest desire that you bring as you enter into this time. This is your petition. The desire should be in congruence with the subject matter of the meditation, for example with Principle and Foundation, you may desire to truly know, in the depths of your being, the Heart of God as He created you…etc. Ask God, through His Spirit, to lead the prayer, to use your imagination for His, and your, good.

6) Read the scripture through once, just to grasp the text. Then read it again and perhaps again noticing different words or images that may catch your attention.

7) Next, close your eyes and imagine the setting using your senses: sight, smell, touch, taste and /or sounds.

8) See yourself in the setting. Let the story unfold, dialogue and ask questions of Jesus or any other person in the story. Allow yourself to really enter in. We should inwardly feel the truth on which we mediate, rather than think much on it.


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Notice the people, their faces, perhaps what they are feeling, notice Jesus, His face and His heart…etc.

9) When the prayer ends, reflect back over what you experienced. Note any feeling you had, how your heart or mind was moved, things or experiences you want to remember. You may want to write these down.

10) Next, pray the desire of your heart. Speak as you really are, as if from friend to friend. Share with God what you desire in your relationship with Him and with others in your life in light of this time. Make a resolution as a response to meeting with God in His word and in this prayer. End this with thanksgiving to God.

11) Finally, take a few minutes to evaluate your prayer time.


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Guide for Repetition

Ignatian Repetition St. Ignatius’s compares spiritual exercise (or prayer) to physical exercise. With this analogy, you may be tempted to race through the Spiritual Exercises, however, to grow in prayer means that we do not skim the surface but go ever deeper into the mystery of God. At the beginning of the Exercises, St. Ignatius reminds us that what satisfies the soul is not knowing more facts or reaching great insights, but savoring the many graces of God and resting in the Divine Presence (SE2). In other words, in the spiritual life we try to go deeper rather than spread ourselves too thin. To help us simplify and slow down our prayer, St. Ignatius suggests that we do “repetitions” of previous exercises (SE 62). This doesn’t mean that we reenact a time of prayer minute by minute or rehearse every part of the exercise or Scripture passage. Instead, we return to some word, image, desire, insight, feeling, attraction, resistance, or other interior movement that was particularly strong when we first prayed that exercise. Repetitions are not meant to be boring, as if to say, “I’ve already done that!” Instead, they are intended to simplify our prayer and help us go deeper. Making a repetition of prayer is like spending more time with someone we love.


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Guide for Gathering of Graces

Gathering of Graces Review your journal. As you do, try to summarize in brief statements the most meaningful insights and movements of the retreat. Some questions to consider:

• How has my awareness of God’s presence in my life grown or shifted? • What ways of praying were most meaningful or challenging for me? • How have I grown in knowledge and love of Christ? • Where have I experienced greater interior freedom? • Where is there still disorder or lack of interior freedom in my life? • How do I most usually experience consolation and desolation? • How do the good spirit and evil spirit usually operate in my life?


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Guide for Spiritual Direction

Spiritual direction is not a counseling session. Its purpose is to discover God’s will in your concrete daily reality in order then to fulfill it. It is a dialogue based on faith, that takes place in the context of the Church (the Church’s teaching, sacramental theology, mission, etc. form its framework of reference). It is particularly important to bear in mind that there is a third Person present and active in spiritual direction, above and beyond you and your director – the Holy Spirit. The most important element in spiritual direction is the light that the Holy Spirit sheds on both of you, much more important than the direct influence of your director on you. POINTS TO GO OVER IN SPIRITUAL DIRECTION Take some time to prepare beforehand so your points are as well ordered and as clear as possible. 1. Resolutions:

• In the last Spiritual Direction, what recommendations or resolutions were made? 2. What is the general state of your soul?

• Have you felt dry, distracted, worried, or serene, docile, confident and trusting in God's grace?

3. Prayer. • Have you been faithful to your prayer commitments? • Are you giving quality time to your prayer, or just fitting it in when most convenient? • Are you making sacrifices to get your prayer time in, or just doing it when other

occupations don’t take your time? • How are you doing your meditations? • Are you making concrete resolutions, checking them periodically, and keeping them

faithfully?


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4. Struggles with sin and growth in virtue • Focus first on your Program of Life--usually the most important part of Spiritual Direction. • What progress have you made? • What difficulties have you encountered? • Has any part of the program become routine, or are you avoiding or ignoring some of what

you had proposed to do? Why?

5. Vocation and Mission • Are you dedicating your time with real dedication, with a spirit of faith, hope, and love?

Or does it seem like an imposition on your “personal” time? • Are you working with purity of intention for the glory of God and the advance of his

Kingdom, or for personal satisfaction, human respect, desire for the esteem of others?


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Guide to Develop a Vocation Statement What is a Vocation Statement? What is the most important focus in my life? Do I really set my priorities or do I have them set for me? Here you need to write out your vocation statement. This has to reflect what God has created you for, that path that will lead to your greatest fulfillment, and therefore also imply your greatest challenges, and on which he will judge you. The Vocation Statement reflects those things that are key to the fulfillment of one’s life. It should become a compass that affects everything in your life, the goals you set, the decisions you make, the paradigms you hold, and the way you spend your time. How would God write out your “job description” as a baptized person, as a spouse, as a parent, as an apostle? What is your IDEAL for all these jobs? What are the essential elements involved in completing these roles? This should be a description of an ideal and not just a list of things you need to do. Who are you? Who is God calling you to be in these areas? In the last 30 years, there has been wide spread confusion about what it means to be a spouse and a parent with disastrous results. We need to redefine these roles and recapture their importance. The same can be said about our relationship with God. Until we realize what God is calling us to we can never fully appreciate our faith and the gifts that God is giving us. It is also imperative that we have real balance in our life. If we ignore any one of our responsibilities to the detriment of the others, we are not living a holy life. A spouse that ignores his/her spouse for the sake of their children will ultimately harm the children. We need to constantly review our ideals, goals and responsibilities to make sure that we are not neglecting anything that is truly essential. The elements to include in a Vocation Statement 1. First start with God and that which defines me first: Baptized child of God, His masterpiece. 2. Second, identify my principle vocation: Spouse OR discerning my principle vocation (Single) 3. Third, identify my principle responsibility: Parent/Apostle After you have written a Vocation Statement be sure to establish two or three concrete means to help you accomplish it. They should be things you can do on a regular basis. Make sure that they are concrete and practical.


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SAMPLE VOCATION STATEMENT Baptized Catholic

I have been created to enter into a personal, passionate and intimate relationship with God. All that I do and say has to reflect the dignity to which I am called. I am totally dependent on God for my own happiness and the happiness of those around me. Without God I can do nothing of any significance.

1. I will make daily prayer commitments and do them at the best time of the day. 2. I will attend regular spiritual direction, and I will come prepared.

Spouse As a spouse I am called to make my spouse the center of my heart. Understanding just how much we need each other, I will strive to build him up, to make him feel loved and to recognize his needs and do all that I can do to fulfill them. I will complete myself in my spouse and see our relationship as the generator of our love for our children.

1. I will give my spouse the first 15 minutes when I get home from work. 2. I will make Thursday evening “date night”. 3. I will think about the needs of my spouse on my way home from work.

Parent

As a parent I will recognize that God has placed me here on earth to form and mold the hearts, minds and souls of our children. I will make them feel loved and cherished and always be conscious of my calling to be a faithful reflection of God the Father’s love for them.

1. Try to spend at least ten minutes alone with each child each day. 2. See my vocation as much more than doing things for my children. It has to be loving

them and making them feel love by spending quality time with them. 3. I will help Gertrude with her Math homework every night.

Apostle

As a Baptized Catholic I will understand my calling to be an apostle. I will recognize the needs of the mystical body of Christ and never be indifferent. I will see my faith as the greatest gift that I can give to anyone. I will not see people superficially but try to penetrate into their soul and guide them little by little to Christ.

1. I will try to help my brother Bob come back to the faith. I will remember him every

day in my prayers and sacrifices and really show him extra love. 2. I will volunteer at Birthright three hours every week. 3. I will get involved in the “Sharing the faith “series at Church.


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Outline for a Vocation Statement Baptized Catholic- Spouse \ Single-Person Parent- Apostle-


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The Program of Life

Why is the Program of Life important? In his spiritual classic The Imitation of Christ, Thomas a Kempis writes that if we could rid ourselves of just one vice per year, we would "very soon be holy." This is precisely the aim of the Program of Life: to free us step by step from the bonds of sin, which prevent us from the deepest possible intimacy with Jesus Christ. Put simply, the Program of Life is a strategy for attacking sin in our lives, and – as important – replacing it with virtue. Sounds good, right? But a Program of Life requires some prayer, reflection and spiritual direction to put together, because in order to be effective, we must know ourselves and our deepest motivations, strengths and weaknesses well. We must accept ourselves as we now are. And having once accepted ourselves, we can then make a challenging but realistic road-map for our growth in the spiritual life.

Guide to Develop a Program of Life To draw up your Program of Life, it will help to follow these steps: 1. Find Your Root Sin Set aside a time to reflect on yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten your conscience as you try to identify your dominant passion, also called your "root sin." The simplest way to do this is to make an exhaustive list of all your sins and shortcomings. (If you are doing Spiritual Exercises and are making a general confession, your preparation for confession can serve as the foundation of your Program.) The sins you list are the obstacles between you and God. Once the list is made, go back over it and ask yourself why you are tempted to sin in those ways. You will find that one of three dominant passions - Pride, Vanity, or Sensuality - is the motive behind each of the obstacles in your spiritual life. All of us have some manifestations of each of these three passions, so don't be surprised if you get a mixture of answers. However, if you make your analysis truly go to the root


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of your motives, most likely one of these passions will emerge more frequently than the others. This is your dominant passion: the passion that motivates you most of the time. Dig deep. It is worthwhile to take some time with this step, because a superficial self- examination might lead us to misidentify our dominant passion, rendering our Program less effective (as if we tried to use leg-lifts to flatten our stomachs). And some manifestations of sin are not what they immediately seem. For example, suppose I note among my sins, "chronic inability to get out of bed." That seems like laziness, which would be a sin of sensuality. But wait. On further analysis I realize that the reason I stay in bed is because I'm on deadline at work for an important project which I know I cannot finish. I can't face the prospect of failing, so I avoid the situation as much as I can. I conclude that for me, sleeping too late is a sin of pride. The more concrete you are, and the deeper you go to find your root motivation, the clearer the enemy becomes, so that you can be more focused in eliminating it. A simple way to determine which passion motivates your actions is to ask yourself what you were most afraid of or concerned about: letting myself down (pride); what others would think (vanity); or how it would make me feel (sensuality). So that you'll better recognize these three passions, below we'll mention some of their most common manifestations: 1. PRIDE:

When we base our security and self-esteem on ourselves. Manifestations:

i. Haughtiness Having an elevated concept of myself, annoyance with those who contradict me; easily judging others, thinking they are bad and hence easily gossiping about them; difficulty in recognizing my own errors or knowing when I've hurt someone and thus inability to ask, seek or grant forgiveness; hypocrisy; unwillingness to serve; impatience, distance, brusqueness in my daily contact with others; thinking that I'm the only one who knows how to do things right; unwillingness to let others help; over-rationalism, such that anything I don't understand clearly I judge to be in error, and say so; not believing practically in my need for God, even though I invoke him; activism (doing good works at the expense of prayer).


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ii. Self-love Permitting nobody to contradict me; growing annoyed if I don't get my way or if I'm not taken into account; refusing to assent unless it's all explained to me; nursing grudges a long time; not letting go of minor annoyances; rebelling against what I don't like or what seems mistaken to me; not liking to take directions from anyone; acting authoritarian; inflexibility. Thinking of myself first; my needs or desires take priority over everyone else's; being indifferent to others and their needs, tastes; difficulty in disrupting my plans when someone asks me for something, and thus great calculation in my relations with others and with God; liking to be heard, always thinking my conversation is the most important; centering games and entertainment around myself.

2. VANITY: When we base our security in others (in what they think of us).

Manifestations: i. Insincerity

Insincerity in order to hide my own faults; wanting others to admire me; thinking that I'm the best, and finding ways to let others know it; undue preoccupation for my physical appearance and dedicating excessive time to "primping;” being dominated by "human respect" as with shyness, when this shyness is in great measure because I'm afraid others won't like me; becoming easily discouraged at my failures; two-facedness or hypocrisy in the attempt to make myself accepted; abandoning or silencing my principles in order to "fit in;” speaking openly of other people's "errors;” desiring to have "intimate friendships" in order to appear popular; breaking confidences; stretching the truth or lying outright in order to make myself admired and loved. Always seeking to be the center of attention; severe disappointment when others don't appreciate my ideas or possessions; anger or hurt when I am not duly thanked for favors; self-pity; rejoicing in others' failures and inability to rejoice in their successes (I'm too jealous).


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3. SENSUALITY:

When we base our security and self-esteem in possessions. Manifestations:

i. Laziness Always looking for the most comfortable, that which requires least effort, the easiest for me, the most comfortable postures; avoiding service when it requires my effort; always accomplishing my responsibilities at the last minute just to finish them, without concern for perfection in what I do; wasting time easily, and when I'm not under deadline, working only on what I like most; fleeing anything which exacts a bodily mortification of me; complaining about everything; if I'm a little under the weather, everyone knows about it.

ii. Life of feelings Daydreaming, not controlling my thoughts; constructing castles in the air in which generally I play the king or queen; at meals, eating only what I like, rejecting everything else even if it hurts another or wastes food; having to see everything, experience everything; curiosity; seeking pleasures, even to the point of endangering my purity with thought or actions.

iii. Over-sensitivity and emotionalism Giving primacy to my feelings such that my daily work depends upon my emotional state - whether I feel like it, whether I like the person I'm dealing with, if I like my task; being easily hurt by others; passing easily from friendship to animosity with others; needing to be liked and to feel the affection of others; frequently throw myself a pity-party.

2. Choose an Opposite Virtue The Spiritual life has to be based on a positive striving for virtue. It cannot remain on the level of "just saying no" to vice, but must become an active "saying yes" to Jesus. Your Program will entail not so much an effort to refrain from your root sin as to overcome it by replacing it with an opposing virtue. You could overcome your pride, for example, by working on generosity - thereby filling your life with so many kind words and deeds that you don't have opportunity to think so much of yourself. Pick a virtue opposite to the root sin that you have detected. This will become the focus of all your spiritual life.


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A virtue is more than just a habit. It is a positive inclination or tendency that affects the intellect, heart and the will and helps us to center ourselves on Christ. We do not seek virtue for the sake of virtue but to free ourselves from our root sin. Virtue should ultimately heal my intellect, heart and will and develop an opposite way of thinking, attaching my heart to the things that are from “above” and strengthening our will. For example, if my root sin causes me to center myself inwardly, the virtue has to be geared to do the opposite: center myself on the person of Christ. We do not form virtue just for the sake of virtue but to enable us to be free from sin and imperfection and to facilitate union with Christ. So, the virtue of patience isn’t just about avoiding emotional or behavioral “explosions” but is all about seeing a situation from the heart of Christ, from Christ’s point of view, and to allow oneself to be formed with Christ’s own self-possession and acceptance. Write out a paragraph describing what your root sin is in your own words. What are the essential elements? Where does it come from? Then write out a paragraph of what is the opposite of this. What virtue closest comes to this second paragraph? This virtue will become the central focus of all your spiritual life. Here are some examples of opposite virtues: PRIDE: Humility, Simplicity, Supernatural Spirit, Meekness, Compassion, Docility, Spirit of Service, Dependence on God through prayer. VANITY: Purity of Intention, Love for Christ, Seeing Christ in Others, True Acceptance of Oneself, Purity. SENSUALITY: Discipline for Love of Christ, Focus on the Person of Christ,

Abnegation and Self-Denial for Love of Christ, Hope, Spirit of Loving Sacrifice, Patience, Purity.

3. Choose “Concrete” Means to Obtain This Virtue. What can I do on a daily or weekly basis to form this virtue in my soul? The means I choose should address three areas of my life: my relationship with God (always include two or three means which involve prayer and the sacraments), myself, and my relationships with others. By choosing a couple of things to work on in each of these areas, I will give myself a program to help me achieve the virtue I am working on. Again, it is vitally important to be concrete. For example, in my relationship with God, my means to achieve generosity will not be "more prayer," because this is too general.


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Instead, I could write, "I will live a more Eucharistic life by attending Mass or making a spiritual communion each day." If a person is working on patience, the more acts of patience they make the easier it is to be patient in difficult circumstances. But it is not enough just to say, “I will be patient when my kids scream.” That will only last a very limited time. Rather, one should say, “I will practice patience when my kids scream understanding that there is nothing more important for me than to see these occasions as formation moments and will put what I am doing aside to deal lovingly with them.” “What can I do on a daily or weekly basis to form this virtue in my soul?” The first two or three means should be prayer and the sacraments. The others can be gotten by applying the virtue to your vocation statement: “How can I live this virtue in my life as a spouse, as a parent, at work, in my apostolate?” Again, it is vital to be as concrete as possible so as to have the goal you have set out to achieve as clear and well defined as possible. It should be something that you can use at night for your conscience exam as a guide of what God was asking from you. 4. Define The Ideal I’m Going to Strive to Imitate. Your IDEAL will always be Jesus Christ because the aim of the Program is to transform yourself into Him. Nonetheless, based on the virtue you most need, choose some aspect of the personality of Jesus Christ as your ideal. How does Christ live out this virtue? It will help to choose as well a motto, which is to say a phrase that speaks to me and helps me to remember my virtue. 5. Define Progress or Success As described above, your Program will include daily or weekly means to achieve a specific virtue. In order to make your Program completely concrete, envision where you will be a couple of months down the road, and write those goals down. This "calendar" will help you to judge how your Program is working for you. You can refine these goals on a monthly, bimonthly or quarterly basis. For instance, suppose today as I write my Program I have no habit of daily prayer. In my relationship with God, I might say that I will add one minute per day of Morning meditation, working up to fifteen minutes of daily meditation. How will I judge my success? I might say that by the end of the next quarter, I will have established a firm habit of meditating each morning for 15 minutes. If, at the end of the quarter, I have indeed achieved this, I know my Program is working. If not, what can I do to make it more concrete?


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6. Use Your Program

1. Base your conscience exam on your new Program. Go over the means that I have in place to obtain my virtue. Have I practiced them or not? Why or why not?

2. Base your confession on your Program. “Fr. I am struggling with the sin of … and this is how it has been manifesting itself in the past two weeks.”

3. Base your spiritual direction on your Program (see the guide for spiritual direction.)

4. Focus the fruits of your meditation on the virtue that I am trying to live. 5. Try to go over it briefly every day!


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Sample Programs of Life SAMPLE 1 (example-versus Pride) IDEAL- Christ seeing all from the perspective of his Father. MOTTO- Jesus meek and humble of heart OBSTACLES- Root sin: PRIDE MANIFESTATIONS OF ROOT SIN: 1. Being critical of someone else. (especially of my spouse when he/she ....) 2. Not listening to people. Trying to convince them that I am always right--especially with my

mother-in- law... 3. Not being consistent in saying my prayers. Not "feeling a need" to pray. 4. Always rationalizing. Making excuses for myself--especially at work. Not accepting things

by faith alone. 5. Not being sensitive to the needs of others. Especially not having patience with my children. 6. Never admitting I am wrong--especially to my spouse and at work. PROGRAM- Opposite virtue: Supernatural spirit- life of faith MEANS TO FORM THIS VIRTUE:

1. I will live my faith by meditating 15 min. every day, conscious of my dependency on God to be able to accomplish anything in my life. I will especially meditate on the Incarnation and our Blessed mother’s vision of faith.

2. I will live my faith by attending Mass twice during the weekdays and make an effort to live the supernatural aspects of the Mass offering it up for my family.

3. I will live my faith by seeing Jesus Christ in other people and accept them as they are and not as I would like them to be. I will work on seeing Christ working in these people, especially my spouse when...

4. I will live my faith by not taking myself so seriously. Put everything into the proper perspective (of Christ) and be able to see that being right or wrong is not the most important thing, it is showing the other person love and understanding. Go into conversations with that attitude and try to listen more. (esp. with Bob)

5. I will live my faith by making sure that all of my decisions are based on supernatural criterion and that I do not rationalize especially when....

6. I will live my faith by looking to please Christ and admitting when I am wrong and not cover up if I have failed. This is a gift I give Christ.


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SAMPLE 2 (example-versus Vanity) IDEAL- Christ Crucified for love of me MOTTO- Who is in the center??? OBSTACLES- Root sin: VANITY MANIFESTATIONS OF ROOT SIN: 1. I can be really hurt if people do not treat me with respect, especially my mother. 2. I am always speaking about myself and all the things that I do esp. to the girls at the club. 3. I cannot say no to anyone. I always allow people to use me--especially with Bob and Sally. 4. I am afraid to stand up for what I believe. I do not want people to think I am a religious

fanatic--especially with... 5. I always worry that if I discipline my children that they might not love me. 6. I love and live for when people compliment me and appreciate my talents--especially my

husband and kids and Mary. PROGRAM- Opposite virtue: Passionate and personal relationship with Jesus Chris MEANS TO FORM THIS VIRTUE:

1. Meditating daily on the passion, looking for the fruit of being convinced of Christ's love for me and that I do not need to look for love in any other place.

2. Coming to grips with my feelings of rejection. Bring my most painful memories of being rejected (esp. as a child) to Christ in prayer and realize that HE was there all the time loving me.

3. Attending Mass twice during the weekdays (Tues. & Thurs.) and focus on the personal sacrifice of love that I receive from Christ who died for me.

4. Before I accept any projects or get involved in anything I will first tell them I have to think about it and then see if it is for God's glory or my own. He owns my heart.

5. Seeing all that happens within my family as coming from the loving hands of God and whatever I do to them I do to Christ. I will discipline with love and firmness.

6. Not speaking about myself. Concentrate on speaking about others, understanding that I must decrease and offer up all my own success to Christ in secret, my gift just to him.


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SAMPLE 3 (example – versus Sensuality) IDEAL- Christ in Gethsemane MOTTO- Your will be done! (not mine) OBSTACLES- Root sin: SENSUALITY MANIFESTATIONS OF ROOT SIN: 1. Laziness, always putting things off, especially exercise. 2. Disorganization and disorder. I do whatever is "immediate". 3. Only do things when I "feel like it". Moodiness controls me. 4. Anger and impatience if I do not feel good. I cannot handle pressure. 5. I live to shop; it’s only thing that picks me up. 6. Always put my prayer life off. Inconsistency with God. PROGRAM- Opposite virtue: SELF-DISCIPLINE AND FOCUS FOR LOVE OF CHRIST MEANS TO FORM THIS VIRTUE:

1. Meditating 15 min. a day especially on Christ and his total self-giving to others. 2. Making a plan for my spiritual life (Rosary, exam, sp. reading...) and follow it very

closely, putting it first not last. I will offer up all my prayers for each child every day. 3. Making up a schedule to live by and follow it. Do not do what is the immediate thing.

Accomplish what is on the list. See it as God's will for me and my way of loving Christ. 4. By not watching TV until I have finished my prayers and have spent quality time with

my spouse, seeing the time after dinner as the most important moment in the day. 5. By being aware of my sentiments and moods and trying to make sure that they do not get

in the way of what I should do. I will try to put on Christ's sentiments and see all through a supernatural point of view, something I can offer up to him as an act of love.

6. When I do not want to do something offer it up for some specific intention, knowing that this is my most powerful weapon.


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Outline for Program of Life (DRAFT)

IDEAL – MOTTO – OBSTACLES – Root Sin: Manifestations of root sin:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6. PROGRAM – Opposite virtue: Means to form this virtue: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Points should be concrete and practical.


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Outline for Program of Life IDEAL – MOTTO – OBSTACLES – Root Sin: Manifestations of root sin:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6. PROGRAM – Opposite virtue: Means to form this virtue: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Points should be concrete and practical.


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Making Time for Prayer When we leave this retreat we need to get into a regular routine of prayer. The vine that is not connected to the branch will soon wither. Select some prayer activities and specific times to do them during the week. Here is a list of possible commitments. • Gospel reflection • Daily Mass • Visits to the Blessed Sacrament • Rosary (at least one mystery) • Meditation (Mental prayer) • Conscience Exam • Morning Offering • Stations of the Cross • Novenas • Spiritual Reading • Liturgy of the Hours Prayer Commitment When Where 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.


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Guide to the Sacrament of Penance

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GuidetotheSacramentof

Penance


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MAKING A BETTER CONFESSION Take your time and talk to Christ, in your own words or in these words:

Lord Jesus, open my mind and my heart to your Holy Spirit. Show me where I am failing to love your heavenly Father. Show me where I am failing to love you, failing to accept you as my savior, failing to seek you and yield to you as my Lord. Show me where I am failing to love the Holy Spirit, failing to be open and to be led by Wisdom and Love,

Lord Jesus, Show me where I am failing to love anyone of your brothers or sisters as you love me, Show me where I am failing to love myself as you love me. Show me where I am putting myself before God. Show me where I am seeking my own desires at the expense of a brother or sister. Your power finds its strength in my weakness; without you I can do nothing.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD Addressing your thoughts to Jesus and yourself together, ask yourself and him:

Am I faithful to daily prayer? If not, what is my attitude to God that allows me to neglect prayer? Am I faithful to Mass? If not, why? What is my attitude to God that allows this to happen? Am I going to Mass or saying my prayers as a duty and no more? Why do I give God the bare minimum? When I am distracted at Mass is it because I am making other things more important to me than God?

Ask yourself and our Lord further questions: Do I trust God's loving care for me? How do I show this trust? Do I make time to read scripture, that I may know and hear Jesus and his Father? Do I really try to seek God's will, not mine, in prayer? Am I angry with, or afraid of God?


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MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THOSE NEAREST TO ME As yourself and our Lord:

Have I failed to respect any family member or friend? If so, why? Have I failed to accept anyone just as he or she is? If so, why? Have I been patient with another's differences from me? If not, why? Have I been tolerant with another's shortcomings? If not, why? Have I been sensitive to another's needs and weaknesses? If not, why?

Am I refusing to forgive anyone, Lord, when you have forgiven me?

Am I nursing a grudge? If so, why? Do I criticize and find fault? If so, why? Do I show positive acts of kindness to others? If not, why?

In the sight of the Lord Bring each one of those nearest to you in your life, one by one, into your mind and heart in the presence of the Lord. Ask him to let you see that person through his eyes and to show you what attitudes he wants you to have toward that person. Ask him what he wants you to do for that person. Ask him to show you if you are an obstacle to the Father's plan of love for anyone of those who are nearest to you. Take time to reflect on this in the Lord's presence and ask him for his help and healing. Confess whatever may be revealed to you as being a stumbling block in someone's way to God.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE

Now turn toward all people. Ask yourself and the Lord in his presence Do I despise any group of people? If so, why? Do I discriminate against any group or individual because of race, religion, nationality, politics, age, profession, gender, any other reason? Do I consider any group or individual inferior to me? If so, why? When someone has needed me, have I refused to help? If so, why? Lord Jesus, you prayed that all who believe in you might be one. Do I pray for this? If not, why? If so, what else do I do for Christian unity? If I do little or nothing, why?


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MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD'S OTHER CREATURES

Ask yourself and our Lord: Have I spoiled any part of creation? If so, why? Have I abused animals by cruelty or neglect? Have I been wasteful? Am I too fond of money? of material things? Do I act as though everything I have is mine to do with what I like? If so, why? Am I open-handed and generous? or tight·fisted and mean? If the latter, why? Do I drive responsibly and with consideration for others? If not, why? Do I make positive contributions to the community? If not, why?

Do I take my vocation seriously and live up to my responsibilities? If not, why?

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF

Ask yourself and the Lord: Do I feel angry often? If so, is it because I expect everything and everyone to march to my beat? Am I acting as though I were God? Do I accept that the Father loves me? If not, why? Am I seeking to know God's will so that I may consent and cooperate? If not, why? Am I unwilling or afraid to say "Yes" to God? If so, why? Do I prefer my own plans? Do I cherish and care for my body as the gift of God? If not, why? Have I been greedy, lustful, or lazy? If so, why? Do I live by the pleasure principle: “I want what I want when I want it" in any area of my life? Am I the prisoner of fear, anxiety, worry, guilt, inferiority, hatred of myself? Do I hand over the past to God's merciful love? Do I allow it to trouble me still? Do I plan prudently for future things that are within my choice and control? and hand the rest to God's wise love? Do I fret with worry, anticipating what might happen?

In the presence of our Lord, ask him to let you see yourself as he sees you. He loves you so much that he laid down his life for you. Always look at your dark side only through the eyes of Jesus your savior, your healer, your brother, your shepherd, your Lord. Since God acquits you, who are you to condemn yourself? Now rest in his presence and be still.


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How to go to Confession

1. You always have the option to go to confession anonymously (behind a screen) or face to

face, as you prefer. 2. After the priest greets you in the name of Christ, make the sign of the cross. He may choose

to recite a reading from Scripture, after which you say: “Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been (state how long) since my last confession. These are my sins.”

3. Tell your sins simply and honestly to the priest. You might even want to discuss the circumstances and the root causes of your sins and ask the priest for advice or direction.

4. Listen to the advice the priest gives you and accept the penance from him. Then make an Act of Contrition for your sins.

5. He will then absolve you of your sins. 6. The priest will then say: “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.” You respond: “For his

mercy endures forever.” The priest then concludes with: “The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace.” And you respond by saying: “Thanks be to God,” and leave the confessional.

7. Spend some time with Our Lord thanking and praising Him for the gift of His mercy. Try to perform your penance as soon as possible.

Prayer Before Confession

O most merciful God! Prostrate at your feet, I implore your forgiveness. I sincerely desire to leave all my evil ways and to confess my sins with all sincerity to you and to your priest. I am a sinner, have mercy on me, O Lord. Give me a lively faith and a firm hope in the Passion of my Redeemer. Give me, for your mercy’s sake, a sorrow for having offended so good a God. Mary, my mother, refuge of sinners, pray for me that I may make a good confession. Amen.


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Acts of Contrition

Here are three versions of the Act of Contrition for you to choose from:

Oh My God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all of my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they have offended thee my God who are all good and deserving of all of my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to sin no more and avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen. or My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In His name, my God, have mercy. Amen.

or O my God, I am sorry for all the times I have offended you, in my thoughts, words, works and omissions. I feel sorry with all my heart, you being my Creator and Redeemer and because I have endangered the interests of your Kingdom. Help my weak will so that I may never more offend you. I offer you in satisfaction the sufferings of my life in union with the infinite merits of your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.


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Personal Notes

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Personal Notes

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Personal Notes

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SupplementalHandouts

Documents

Our Lady of Bethesda Retreat Center Bethesda, Maryland · in your binder or will be distributed by the Retreat Master. We recommend that you reflect on these questions in Chapel or